National League Round 1
-To be witnessed by the esteemed Watcher Zachatu.
-800 Points on The Playoff Planet
-Prize: Heavy Star Cruiser
-The #2 Washington Redskins Vs. The #3 Sigmaz
-Winner will do battle with The #1 Sigmas
American League Round 1
-To be witnessed by the esteemed Watcher Phrunkatu
-800 Points on The Playoff Planet
-Prize: Heavy Star Cruiser
-The #2 Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. #3 TEAM
-Winner will do battle with The #1 Underhills
The Trash Pandas are: Gandalf the White
The Heterosexuals are: Avatar Aang and Kangaroos #1-5
Gandalf the White sat patiently in Josh’s digs, smoking on his
“Hobbit” “Pipe” weed, laughing gaily at the little beetle he had transmogrified
from the tenant. “Scuttle on, little friend, scuttle on! There is much to be
done here, and only food enough for one grown man’s munchies in your fridge.” He
began to fashion a bologna and ketchup taco when he felt a sudden chill. He
turned back to the kitchen – the fridge door was closed. The chill he felt was
merely his Gandalf Sense tingling. He pursed his lips and shrugged. “Suppose
there was no avoiding it, was there?” He turned to the beetle, assuring: “I’ll
do what I can to preserve your home.” He searched his surroundings – visually,
mentally, reaching out for any sign of presence, threatening or otherwise. His
wizard’s intuition proved needless, as he was jarred from his pondering by a
small pebble hitting the window. He waited and observed as another hit, larger
maybe, thrown a bit harder. He steeled himself and strode toward the window
just as the third rock hit, this one significantly larger and more kangaroo
shaped. The marsupial sent him toppling backward before scurrying off to
another room. Gandalf scrambled onto all fours, retrieving his staff and
hoisting himself up. As he did, another kangaroo came flying through the window,
cut to ribbons by the jagged glass. With pity, the white wizard knelt and laid
a hand on the creature. The bleeding ceased and it, too, ran from the room. Gandalf
looked to the open porthole and raised his staff, and an explosive bolt of
lightning came crashing down outside… only to go shooting back up into the sky.
He rushed to the window and stuck his head out in disbelief.
On the ground, Aang stood beside a small wooden cart with
three more kangaroos. “Hey, no fair old man! We aren’t even in the arena yet,
the fight isn’t set in Josh’s parking lot.” Gandalf peered out at his foe. Of
course - the young Avatar with skill enough to deflect lightning, but not
enough wisdom to know kangaroos don’t like being chucked through glass. “And
why, pray tell, are you not yet in the arena? I managed to unlock the door
just fine.” Aang stamped his foot indignantly. “Look, what I do isn’t actually
magic, okay?! I can’t just go around casting ‘open sesame’ on every locked
door!”
“But surely you can pick a lock, can’t you? With all your
control over air and water?”
“Uh, where would I have learned to pick locks? I’m ten years
old, I spent forever stuck in a glacier, and then I went all over the place to
learn everything about exactly three different things. I didn’t exactly have
time to pick up lockpicking.” Gandalf smirked. “Oh, there’s very much you can
learn on a nice walk. Why don’t you come in and we can handle this properly?” The
front door unlatched and opened itself. Aang saw this, shot a dirty look at
Gandalf, but proceeded inside anyway.
Now properly inside the appointed battleground, Gandalf
greeted Aang and his kangaroos. “Welcome, welcome. Would you care for some of
this fine Hobbit herb?” Aang sniffed the pipe and winced at the stench. “I’ll…
pass, thanks. Listen, are you ready to fight or not?” Before answering, Gandalf
ambled to the couch and sat. He motioned for Aang, who remained standing. “Have
you ever considered how many ways a story can end, Avatar?” Aang didn’t reply, so
Gandalf continued. “I have heard countless tales in my time, from countless
civilizations. Tales of victory, of loss – of love and hatred and everything
between. Countless fascinating possibilities, and new ones to discover still
with each passing year.” Aang’s expression had dropped by now. “Are you
serious? How high ARE you?” Gandalf gave Aang a sternly parental glance before resuming,
“What I do not relish are the stories of hatred and death. They are far
too many, and far too sad. Do you think, Avatar, that we should be dreaming up
another?” Aang impatiently hurled a fireball at Gandalf, and it blew to either
side of his beard like it was mere smoke. Aang’s eyes widened, and he stopped
to listen. “I am no stranger to the elements you claim to master. You see, we
actually have quite a bit in common. Your power comes from the spirit within
you – an eternal cycle of rebirth and power and terrible purpose. I, myself, am…
something of a vessel. I truly do not wish you harm. And that’s not mentioning
you’re just a boy.” Aang considered this for just a moment, but shook his head.
“No, no one of us has to win. I won’t let you distract me from my purpose.”
With this, he launched into a furious series of blows.
Flaming kicks and bursts of air were thrown at Gandalf. Some he deflected with
his staff, some connected, but never did he show signs of pain or attempt to
retaliate. Aang roared in frustration and tore pipes from the walls as he drew
the water from every source nearby. He saturated Gandalf and froze the ice,
locking the wizard in place with an expression of surprise. But his staff began
to glow faintly from within the ice, and in moments it shattered from his body
before sublimating into a thick mist which obscured all visibility. Gandalf
eyed the haze vigilantly, when a small hand shot out and clasped his throat. Aang
had entered the Avatar state, floating before Gandalf, his eyes glowing with
fury. “So you can bend all the elements too? Let’s see you do it without your
power.” His hands moved to Gandalf’s chest and forehead, and he began to bend
the energy of Gandalf’s spirit. Gandalf could feel this connection with Aang,
the convergence of their spirits, and he did not resist. Aang reached in to
take Gandalf’s power from him, down to his core… and came to a halt. Visions of
light and grace filled his mind. The nature of the very universe was laid
before him, emotion flooded his heart, and in that moment – for just one moment
– he heard the Music of the Ainur. He fell to his knees. Tears of indescribable
beauty welled in his eyes, and he whispered “I… understand now.”
Better Than All of You (formerly NAZA): Mr.Mxyzptlk, Fedaykin 1-3
TEAM: Alex Houslander, Laya Houslander, Scarlett Houslander, Grayson Houslander, Chris Artrip, Julie Artrip, Ella Artrip, Jack Artrip, Ben Artrip, Ethan Petz, Kryptonion #1a, Black Lantern Kryptonion, Black Lantern Yellow Lantern, Yellow Lantern #1, Yellow Lantern #2
Ight we in home boys Josh’s crib. It bout to get freaky
So the Houslander clan along with some lanterns are chillin at Josh’s crib holding down the fort without the commish himself. Then some midget and a couple fedaykin come strolling in from idiotsville.
“Who are you unc?” questions Alex Houslander
Then Mr.Mxyzptlk starts distorting reality or some shit.
“Blood Trippin” screams Alex Houslander.
Mr.Mxyzptlk disguises himself as Ben as creates chaos among the Artrips.
Ella has turned on her brothers while Chris and Julie rage with anger over the fighting kids.
Meanwhile, Josh’s blood be holding down the fort taking down a fedaykin themselves. Although there was one casualty. RIP Laya
While the anger among the Atrips continues on a fedaykin take out all of the Atrips besides Chris. Engulfed with anger Chris snaps the neck of the fedaykin, but all he can feel is grief and anguish.
“Blood is so not cookin right now. Who let bro cook” says Alex.
The Black Lantern Kryptonian and the Black Lantern Yellow Lantern are the only remaining allies of Chris, Alex, Scarlett, and Grayson. Ethan was here but he passed out in the yard and missed the whole thing. The two lanterns were able to kill the last Fedaykin leaving just Mr.Mxyzptlk.
Mr.Mxyzptlk does some midget gay shit and kills the two lanterns that remained for TEAM.
Scarlett and Grayson spring into action and grab the legs of the midget. Allowing Chris and Alex to attack. Chris and Alex grab the midget and then proceed to curb stomp him outside in the street. Leaving nothing but a bloody mess.
The Horsemen of Apokolips are: The Deadly Viper Assassin Squad: Bill, Budd, O-Ren Ishii, Vernita Green, Elle Driver, & Beatrix Kiddo, & Black Widow #1-5.
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