Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Note from the Commissioner
The matches will be postponed for 1 week. The line-ups for the last week will be due in by May 29th instead of May 22nd. The matches for which the line-ups have already been submitted will be up at some point before then. I apologize for the inconvenience but as the previous post from the Vice-Commissioner stated the emergencies that have befallen us are beyond our control and the importance of them does come first. Thank you for your patience.
Monday, May 19, 2008
MATCHES POSTPONED
Due to circumstances beyond our control, the American League and National League Finals, as well as all consolation matches are postponed until further notice.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Consolation Match Round 2 The Outsiders Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Outsiders are Jenna Jameson & Justin Oblak.
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos are Brangelina: Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie w/ Zahara, Pax, Maddox, & Shiloh, Dozer #1, & Jar Jar Binks.
In the book version of this match the bus was driven by Jar Jar Binks but in this version the bus is being driven by Jedi Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi. Jenna Jameson turns to her partner Justin Oblak and says "Omigod: how the hell can they put togeather a team of like 6 characters for only 12 points, what the hell are we supposed to do against all of them"! Justin thinks to himself: Does this skank ever stop talking and also thinks about telling her to shut up, but instead just replies with "It's 8 by my count Aristotle". She retorts with a not too bright look on her face that says it all. Justin clinches his fist togeather ready to fight and starts moving toward the other side of the bus that is bouncing around rapidly as they drive up a dirt covered mountain road when he is interrupted by Brad yelling at Angelina: "Why don't you eat something! You are carrying our children and you need to nourish them! Then you can go back to not eating and living off of pot and tattoo ink"! She yells back "I never had to hear this kind of crap when I was dating my brother"! "Yeah, well to bad he had to become a transvestite, not that I can blame him after having to put up with your crazy A** behavior, I can't wait until we win this crotch rocket so I can get on it and drive around all sad looking while all the tabloids take pictures of me and talk about how discouraged I am with our relationship". Brad looks over at the other team for approximately 1/3 of a second which prompts Angelina to say "Did you just look at that Whore! How could you"! talking of course about Jenna Jameson. Angelina then picks up a tire iron from underneath the seat of the bus and bashes in Jenna's head. Oblak says "Holy crap! That broad is crazy; I'm not even that mad, I'm just shocked; Billy Bob was right, you are a psycho". "Icky Yucky Goo" Jar Jar adds. She then drops the tire iron and goes back to yelling at Brad. Justin once again makes a move to start the fight when Shiloh starts crying. Justin stops and says "Aren't you gonna pick that kid up"? Brad says "I don't see any cameras around I'm not picking one of those brats up, I pay people to do that, hey Jar Jar pick up Pax". "That's Shiloh, he's Pax" Maddox says. Angelina says "Shut Up! All of you, you want to see something get picked up, I'll pick something up". Jolie then picks up Dozer #1 who was minding his own business carefully putting straws togeather in the glove box and crushes him in her hands to make a point. "Dis is nutzin" Jar Jar says. "I'm with the gungan, what is wrong with you people". Oblak adds. "I think you over did it" they hear the driver say from the front of the bus. The Golden Boy then makes yet another move to start actually fighting his opponents instead of listening to them fight amongst themselves when a huge Semi truck comes zooming past them and then cuts them off around a sharp turn. The young Obi Wan swerves the Volkswagon to the right and says "Blast it! This is why I hate driving". The pregnant Angelina is made even more mad as the ride gets wilder and she gets more sick to her stomach which prompts her to repick-up the tire iron and throw it at Brad. She misses but in the process hits the back window completely shattering it. Right after this happens the bus hits a huge pot hole and Zahara almost bounces out of the large broken window. The small child is barely holding on to the top of the back window when Jar Jar says "Oh NO Zaharee (that's what Jar Jar calls her) Meesa save you" He and Maddox both run to the back of the bus to save her but Jar Jar trips over the Barbie Keyboard that Shiloh brought and knocks Zahara up over the top of the bus. The bus then runs over Zahara which causes Jar Jar to accidentally elbow Maddox in the face which makes him trip Brad into Pax who falls face first into the steering wheel causing the bus to jerk which then makes Pax bounce off of Obi Wan's hand and land on the floor with his head hitting Obi Wan's right foot making him inadvertantly press the gas sending the bus tumbling off of the cliff. Meanwhile, during this calamitous chain of events Justin Oblak ripped off part of the oversized African influenced maternity gear that Angelina was wearing and used it as a makeshift parachute to jump out of the back of the bus and land safely on the nearby water (without sinking of course) while the bus and the rest of its passengers crash and explode into the base of the cliff.
THE OUTSIDERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos are Brangelina: Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie w/ Zahara, Pax, Maddox, & Shiloh, Dozer #1, & Jar Jar Binks.
In the book version of this match the bus was driven by Jar Jar Binks but in this version the bus is being driven by Jedi Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi. Jenna Jameson turns to her partner Justin Oblak and says "Omigod: how the hell can they put togeather a team of like 6 characters for only 12 points, what the hell are we supposed to do against all of them"! Justin thinks to himself: Does this skank ever stop talking and also thinks about telling her to shut up, but instead just replies with "It's 8 by my count Aristotle". She retorts with a not too bright look on her face that says it all. Justin clinches his fist togeather ready to fight and starts moving toward the other side of the bus that is bouncing around rapidly as they drive up a dirt covered mountain road when he is interrupted by Brad yelling at Angelina: "Why don't you eat something! You are carrying our children and you need to nourish them! Then you can go back to not eating and living off of pot and tattoo ink"! She yells back "I never had to hear this kind of crap when I was dating my brother"! "Yeah, well to bad he had to become a transvestite, not that I can blame him after having to put up with your crazy A** behavior, I can't wait until we win this crotch rocket so I can get on it and drive around all sad looking while all the tabloids take pictures of me and talk about how discouraged I am with our relationship". Brad looks over at the other team for approximately 1/3 of a second which prompts Angelina to say "Did you just look at that Whore! How could you"! talking of course about Jenna Jameson. Angelina then picks up a tire iron from underneath the seat of the bus and bashes in Jenna's head. Oblak says "Holy crap! That broad is crazy; I'm not even that mad, I'm just shocked; Billy Bob was right, you are a psycho". "Icky Yucky Goo" Jar Jar adds. She then drops the tire iron and goes back to yelling at Brad. Justin once again makes a move to start the fight when Shiloh starts crying. Justin stops and says "Aren't you gonna pick that kid up"? Brad says "I don't see any cameras around I'm not picking one of those brats up, I pay people to do that, hey Jar Jar pick up Pax". "That's Shiloh, he's Pax" Maddox says. Angelina says "Shut Up! All of you, you want to see something get picked up, I'll pick something up". Jolie then picks up Dozer #1 who was minding his own business carefully putting straws togeather in the glove box and crushes him in her hands to make a point. "Dis is nutzin" Jar Jar says. "I'm with the gungan, what is wrong with you people". Oblak adds. "I think you over did it" they hear the driver say from the front of the bus. The Golden Boy then makes yet another move to start actually fighting his opponents instead of listening to them fight amongst themselves when a huge Semi truck comes zooming past them and then cuts them off around a sharp turn. The young Obi Wan swerves the Volkswagon to the right and says "Blast it! This is why I hate driving". The pregnant Angelina is made even more mad as the ride gets wilder and she gets more sick to her stomach which prompts her to repick-up the tire iron and throw it at Brad. She misses but in the process hits the back window completely shattering it. Right after this happens the bus hits a huge pot hole and Zahara almost bounces out of the large broken window. The small child is barely holding on to the top of the back window when Jar Jar says "Oh NO Zaharee (that's what Jar Jar calls her) Meesa save you" He and Maddox both run to the back of the bus to save her but Jar Jar trips over the Barbie Keyboard that Shiloh brought and knocks Zahara up over the top of the bus. The bus then runs over Zahara which causes Jar Jar to accidentally elbow Maddox in the face which makes him trip Brad into Pax who falls face first into the steering wheel causing the bus to jerk which then makes Pax bounce off of Obi Wan's hand and land on the floor with his head hitting Obi Wan's right foot making him inadvertantly press the gas sending the bus tumbling off of the cliff. Meanwhile, during this calamitous chain of events Justin Oblak ripped off part of the oversized African influenced maternity gear that Angelina was wearing and used it as a makeshift parachute to jump out of the back of the bus and land safely on the nearby water (without sinking of course) while the bus and the rest of its passengers crash and explode into the base of the cliff.
THE OUTSIDERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
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