Week 9 Democracy: Crack Danks vs The Red Garter Guardians

Crack Danks: The Coon, Human Kite, Mosquito, Fast Pass, Super Craig, Captain Diabetes, Cole MacGrath, Family Guy Chicken w/ Force Saber

Guardians: Rumble, Laserbeak, and Ravage

Week 8: Turrible Decisions vs Empire

 Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: Flash (Wally West), Venom (Flash Thompson), Batman Who Laughs, Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho, Paul Atreides “Maud Dib”, Captain Ginyu, and Balrog #1-3

Empire of Evil Midgets: John Constantine, Ancient One, Murbella, Starfire, Mercutio w/ Force Saber, Gold Dragon #2, and Insecticons: Bombshell, Shrapnel, Kickback

Ahh, here we are in Gerudo Town. Let’s get inside and take a break before this match starts. Wait a minute… only women are allowed in the town?? That’s gotta be sexist, no? Oh great, so they’re letting in The Ancient One, Murbella, and Starfire, but no one else can enter. This is bullshit. Now I have to sit outside with the rest of these idiot men.

Not long after, these dummies start bickering at each other, of course, until eventually they start full on fighting each other. They can’t just hang out as bros for ten minutes? It’s an all out battle, every man for themselves. I thought they were supposed to be on teams, but they obviously gave up on that one. Murbella and Starfire see the fighting outside and decide it looks fun, so they go to join in. The Ancient One, unamused, stays in the town to meditate.

It’s a bloodbath out here, it’s hard to keep up with how fast people are dying. The Flash is going lightspeed and rips apart Mercutio, Captain Ginyu, John Constantine, and Murbella before hitting one of the insecticons which still decimates Bombshell, but it slowed the Flash down enough so that when he ran into Shrapnel, the Flash got obliterated. Meanwhile, Duncan Idaho is going blow for blow with the Batman Who Laughs. Each connecting punches while also blocking many. They are even enough in skill so that they go fighting for so long that eventually they both fall to the ground from exhaustion. At the same time, Starfire sends a blast that destroys Shrapnel and Kickback, who both fall backwards onto Duncan Idaho and the Batman Who Laughs.

Switching over to the beasts, Gold Dragon #2 is taking on all 3 Balrogs. Gold Dragon #2’s metallic coat is helping keep defense up against the might of 3 balrogs, long enough so that Starfire jumps in to fight two of the Balrogs. This leaves one Balrog to Gold Dragon #2, which is simple enough for him to defeat. Starfire is struggling to keep up with both Balrogs and is meeting defeat, but not before she makes her last ditch effort. She emits a blast powerful enough so that it vaporizes herself, but also the two Balrogs and Gold Dragon #2.

All that stands in the field is Venom, waiting for the Ancient one to make her appearance. She calmly walks to the front gate, sees venom as the last standing and opens a portal and closes it on Venom, swiftly killing the host body, Flash Thompson. She stands alone amongst a field of death and wonders if her living is truly a victory. Little does she know, Paul Atreides had dressed like a woman and snuck into the town, only to sneak up to the Ancient One and stab her in the back.

Guardians Vs Sisterhood

 The Sisterhood is Darth Maul (w/ The Orange Lantern Ring & Dark Saber (-4)), White Lantern Obi Wan Kenobi, Capt. America (-4), Harambe (-4), Bonk, Skyfire, Stilgar, Duncan Idaho, & Earth Bender #1-3 & 5

The Guardians are Star Lord (-4), Groot (-4), Q (-4), Soundwave w/ Rumble, Ravage, Laserbeak, Wingthing, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Howlback, Garboid, Overkill, & Sluggest, & Scout Trooper #9-10.

Alright since this was a late match and Josh sorta runs these teams on the side, I tried something different so we doing a death race with a random winner.  Also I was lazy.  I blame Zach and that distracting dumpy 

The death race starts at Gerudo Town and these contestants have put aside there teams and joined in one large death race in honor of Kotojow.  The race starts and Stilgar in instantly hit with that Star Lord gat respectfully and died within seconds of the race beginning.  Everyone here is fighting to honor the late great Kotojow.  

Obi Wan and Darth Maul begin to fight but there efforts are null and are crushed by Harambe himself.  Yes we have the god Harambe in the race.  He is the Vegas favorite.  Beastbox, Overkill and Skyfire race ahead as they be fast transformers but their speed was their downfall.  No one was able to set off the traps set and they are the first to cross them.  All three were blown up by a land mine and nothing was left to be seen of the transformers.

The next to meet their downfall were Garboid, the scout Troopers, Groot and Capt. America.  They commenced in a valiant battle but again Harambe saw the opportunity and cleaned up the scraps from the remaining fight.

Duncan Idaho and howelback managed to make their way ahead but were not expecting the combo of Q, slugfest and Rumble to be ahead fighting.  They all get caught in the crossfire and Q is the only one who makes it out untouched and continues the race.  

We are down to just 8 competitors. Harambe, Star Lord, Laser break, Ravage, Squaktalk, Sound wave, Bonk and Q.

Harambe and Star Lord have been the most kill hungry.  In a turn of events the transformers team back up to take down Star Lord.  Q and Bonk have pissed off the only good thing that was ever in Ohio Harambe.  Harambe goes primal and destroys the remaining Transformers.  Bonk and Q's plan worked but they did not for see Harambe moving on to them.

Harambe comes out on top of the Race the only one deserving of the Honor of the great bear Katojow.  He was prideful of his race.