Week 8 Democracy: Sigmas vs Scarlett Johansson and Bill Cosby's Skin Tight Leather Pantsed Trash Pandas

 Sigmas: Legolas, John Rambo, Earth Bender #1-5, The Witch King of Angmar, Melkor, Darkhawk, The Fear, Army Soldiers #1-6

Trash Pandas: The Bad Batch: Hunter, Crosshair, Wrecker, Echo, Tech, and Omega, Hawkeye, Avatar Roku, Old Man Willow, Nazghul #8 on his Mordor Horse, and Peregrin Took

The Underhills Vs. TEAM

 The Underhills are Blue Wizard #1-2, Radaghast the Brown (w/ a green lantern ring), Sauron (w/ The One Ring), Aule, Yavanna, & Ent #1

TEAM is Kyle Houslander, Justine and Curt Septer, Tom Bombadil, The Legion of Superheroes: Mon El, Triplicate Girl, Phantom Girl, Invisible Kid, Star Boy, & Lightning Lad, Katness Everdeen, Dragon #1, Huorn #1-4, Kryptonian #1A, Black Lantern Kryptonian, Black Lantern Yellow Lantern, Yellow Lantern #1-2, & The Shining Force: Diane, Hans, Lowe, Luke, Mae, Pelle, Tao, Torasu, Alef, Gong, Bokken, & Anri.

2024 Week 7 - Sigmaz vs Pandaz

Sigmaz: Joker, Bullseye, Jesse Quick, Spawn, Magus, Ronald McDonald, Grimace, Hamburglar, Officer Big Mac, Mayor McCheese, Birdie the Early Bird, Captain Crook, The Professor, Fry Kid #1-3, Samus, Megaman, Rush, Shredder, Tokka, Razhar, Fugitoid, Traag, Altair Pandaz: Emperor Palpatine, Darth Bane, Zaheer, Ghazan, P’Li, Ming-Hua, Voltron, Black Hand, Avatar Roku, Black Lantern #1 What’s popping, it’s ya boi… the Doc. We’re taking a detour over to HIVE’s second campus located underwater. Apparently, the 1st campus is too uppity for Pandaz fireball drinking degens. Anyhow, Pandaz and Sigmaz respective teams meetup in the underwater launchpad. From there it’s an all out brawl, except for the mcdanks crew who are too busy stuffing their face with god’s rear ended excretions. First to advance from Pandaz is the red phallic shaped weapon wielders… pause. Regardless of their questionable sexual intentions, they start going ham on Sigmaz. It doesn’t take long for Megaman, Shredder, Tokka, Fugitoid, and Traag to fall to the might of the absoluters. But Megaman's trusty sidekick, Rush, is spared because while the two Pandaz are horrific murderers, they are not monsters who kill dawgs. The Emperor attempts to continue his advance but faces the Joker who laughs, “I, too, am an emperor, in another life,” as he shoots a shot through the old wrinkly sucker’s head. Bane… I wonder if he does what his name says… avenges his compadre and beheads the maniac… MANIAC MANIAC. The dark lord retreats to the rest of the Pandaz as the Sigmaz makes an advance. Bullseye sends shots towards the Pandaz… dude’s as accurate as Green Arrow or Hawkeye or a lot of people with the same power… and finds his mark in the center of P’Li’s forehead, but her tattoos are like big bullseyes for Bullseye to shoot a bullseye on so like he had to hit the bullseye. With even faster speed than the bullets, Jesse Quick walks at mach a billion or something through Black Hand. Although, she is blinded by the gore of off-white feet and doesn’t see the red flashlight decapitate her. Meanwhile, Altair has been sneaking up to Black Lantern #1 and quietly muffles his moans… pause… as he puts a knife in his back. Bane… ayo… yet again counters Sigmaz with a snip snap snip snap of Altair. Finally, Spawn has had enough of the weird tattooed eyes dude and his red rocket… pause… so he magics his ass and Bane is no more. Across the way is Voltron cramped into the corner, who witnesses his compatriot die without logical explanation. He spins, turns, and falls over on top of Spawn and Samus, while also taking out Zaheer. Luckily, Voltron just missed Razhar… while he is a wolf, it’s close enough to dawg status so that boi lives… and he escapes into the night with Rush. Magus sees the large metallic foe and attempts to destroy him. After some crazy shizz, Voltron explodes while killing Magus, but also breaks the glass that encapsulates this school. With the integrity of the school collapsing, water rushes into the facility. The force of the flooding is too much for anyone but the water benders to handle, and with that we just sit and stare and watch everyone else drown.

FFL 2024: Week 7 Dolla 49 McRib vs. NAZA

Dolla 49 McRib: Wonder Woman, Blackfire, Blue Beetle, Steppenwolf, Doomsday, Cyborg, Lady DeadPool, Dr.Fate, 8 Green Martians, and 3 White Martians

NAZA: Avatar Kyoshi, Meelo, Changeling (Beast Boy), Killer Frost, Hush, Vegeta, Lady Jessica, Fedaykin #1-5, Venom, Red Hulk, Hercules (Marvel), Sub-Zero, and Eternian Soldier #5

In this match we start out with NAZA eating their dinner in the HIVE Academy Cafeteria while the McRibs are sneaking around the HIVE Academy looking for their enemies.

Wonder Woman is leading the McRibs through the halls as Cyborg uses his cybernetic abilities to do a thermal scan of the building. A beep goes off in Cyborg’s arm and Cyborg says to Wonder Woman “Diana, they’re in the cafeteria”. “Good, they’ll be easy to attack in there.” says Wonder Woman. Diana calls out orders for the McRibs “Blackfire and Dr. Fate, go outside and attack the cafeteria from the sky. Blue Beetle, Cyborg, Lady DeadPool and the Martians go to the back cafeteria door. Steppenwolf and Doomsday, you'll attack with me from the front door. On my call we’ll all attack at the same time.” Cyborg gives a walkie talkie to Wonder Woman and Black Fire. 

The McRibs get into position and Wonder Woman calls through the walkie talkie “We’ll go on 3, team. 1…2…3!” Blackfire and Dr. Fate uses their energy projection powers to blast through the roof. Cyborg uses his blaster on his arm to open the back door and Doomsday runs through the front door. NAZA is caught with their pants down and the McRib’s take advantage of it. Blackfire and Dr. Fate takes out Meelo, the Fedaykin and Eternian Soldier. Doomsday’s charge through the door takes out the table closest to the door as well. Lady Jessica and Hercules were sitting on that table. Doomsday’s charge trampled Lady Jessica and knocked Hercules on his ass. Cyborg shoots a blast from his arm as he enters but Killer Frost and Sub-Zero put up an ice wall to block the blast. Blue Beetle shots another blast and hits Hush, blowing him to bits.

Though the McRibs caught NAZA off guard, NAZA is not gonna go down without a fight. Avatar Kyoshi uses her fire bending to kill the Martians. Red Hulk goes on a rampage and rips Cyborg in half and then tackles Steppenwolf. Red Hulk rips the arms off of Steppenwolf and then gets in full guard position on Darkseid’s side kick and punches his face until it’s just a mound of flesh and blood. As Red Hulk stands up from his pounding, Doomsday hits him with a mean right hook, knocking Red Hulk in the air through multiple walls of the HIVE Academy. Doomsday walks away thinking he took out the angry beast but he was mistaken as a loud yell is heard echoing through the school. Doomsday turns around and sees Red Hulk charging at him. Red Hulk is running full speed at Doomsday and jumps to throw a flying fist at Doomsday. A loud boom is heard but Doomsday is still standing tall as he caught Red Hulk’s punch with his fist, before Red Hulk could even react Doomsday grabbed Red Hulk by the head and snapped his neck. Hercules, being the olympian hero he is, tries to get revenge for Red Hulk but Doomsday is too powerful and handles him with ease.

While that was happening, Lady DeadPool attacks Sub-Zero who puts up a good fight but eventually loses the battle. Lady DeadPool then cracks a joke about Sub-Zero that I’m not smart enough to write. Before she can go to attack anyone else, Venom stabs his symbiote arms through her back and then expands them through every fiber of her body, exploding her into a million pieces. Blue Beetle retaliates quickly though as he uses his sound manipulation ability on his suit to blast Venom with a super sonic blast, killing the symbiote.

Beast Boy turns into a pterodactyl to try and take out Blackfire and Dr. Fate but he didn’t stand a chance as Black Fire hits him with an energy blast, killing him. Killer Frost and Avatar Kyoshi make a good team and use their water bending and frost abilities to take out Dr. Fate and Darkfire. Though their small victory is short lived, as Wonder Woman and Blue Beetle team up to take them out. Wonder Woman uses her agility and quickness to dodge all of Kyoshi’s bending attacks and stabs her through the chest. Blue Beetle overpowers Killer Frost's abilities and uses the claws on his suit to cut her with multiple cuts until she slowly bleeds to death.

Vegeta is all that’s left standing for the NAZA while Wonder Woman, Blue Beetle, and Doomsday are left for the McRib’s. Though Vegeta is outnumbered, he is not outnumbered in heart. He goes into Super Saiyan mode as Blue Beetle and Wonder Woman charge him. His Super Saiyan mode makes him quicker than Wonder Woman and dodges her attacks with ease. He retaliates with an uppercut that knocks her up in the air, then hitting her with a Mortal Kombat style combo until eventually she is killed from the brutal beatdown. Blue Beetle tries to avenge his leader but it is to no avail as Vegeta basically does the same exact thing to him.

Vegeta goes for the three-peat on Doomsday. He gets into a squatted, athletic stance and yells “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” at super sonic levels and then projects a Super Saiyan level energy blasts at Doomsday. A large smoke cloud is all that can be seen of Doomsday, but then as the smoke begins to disperse, a glowing silhouette can be seen. Once the smoke disappears, you can see Doomsday standing there, glowing as bright as the sun. Vegeta yells “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE! I’VE NEVER THROWN AN ENERGY BLASTS THAT POWERFUL BEFORE AND SEE SOMEONE SURVIVE IT!”

Doomsday doesn’t say a word and shoots an energy blast twice as powerful as Vegeta’s. Like Vegeta's, a large smoke cloud appears, but it doesn’t have the same result. once the smoke disperses you can see Vegeta’s lifeless body laying there.

The Doctor's Madhouse Vs. TEAM

 The Doctor's Madhouse is Nightwing, Aqualad, Kid Flash, Donna Troy, Ursa, Batman (w/ a Kryptonite Batsuit), Robin (Damien Wayne), Alfred (w/ double yellow lightsaber), Batgirl (Babs), Batgirl (Betty), Red Tornado, Capt. America, Daxomite #1-4, Meta-Human #1-2.

TEAM is The Legion of Superheroes: Mon El, Triplicate Girl, Phantom Girl, Invisible Kid, Star Boy, Lightning Lad, DC Thor, The Shining Force: Max, Adam, Amon, Balbaroy, Diane, Earnest, Hans, Ken, Khris, & Pelle, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Garboid, Glit, Enemy, & Howlback.  Soundblaster w/ Flip Sides, Sundor, Auto-Scout, & Ravage Clones #1-3, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Appa, Momo, Zachary Houslander, & Jump City Police Officer #1.

Both squads are transported to the site of battle, enter through separate, secret entrances and are locked inside for a battle to the death.  Both squads are not in a hurry to find each other as they both have plans to set up shop inside the school to gain an upper hand.  

To focus on TEAM first: Appa, despite not technically being the largest member of TEAM's squad does not have the transforming and shifting abilities of others and gets caught in a hallway in the way in and was killed by HIVE Academy counter measures coming out of the walls.  A young Zachary Houslander makes his first appearance in a match this season after going through the extensive and rigorous TOCS training (TEAM. Officer. Candidate. School.).  A bit disappointed and offended by his station, Zack (or some call him Zach) thought that he would be going into today as a Colonel after he excelled at every point in his training; but instead he was granted the rank of Captain.  He knew he would be under the command of Max and Soundwave with their own troops directly under them; but he was not happy to see Sokka being named Colonel for this mission and even Chuck the veteran Jump City Police Officer being granted the rank of Major simply for being older and having more field experience than the young graduate Zachary.  Mon El and his Legion of Superheroes are acting as an elite strike force to jump into action wherever needed.  

The Madhouse squad enter through a different entrance; but one of their top fighters Ursa is overcome by pain.  And not just pain, but agony, along with a physical, mental, and emotional weakness.  Ursa drops to her knees and then falls onto her side.  Her eyes grow wide and then are overtaken by a cold stillness as she dies before the match begins.  Most of the Madhouse members are clueless to what is happening until Alfred Pennyworth turns to his employer and states what should have been much more obvious:  "Perhaps the Kryptonite Suit was a bad call, when our star player was a Kryptonian Master Wayne".

Batman, usually known for his prepping skills is ashamed at his mistake; but knows that they still have a battle to win.  Captain America, knowing what is at stake and knowing what it is to lose a soldier speaks up and orders their squad to take their positions.  "We don't have time for sorrow or regret soldiers.  Walk it off".  Says Rogers.  

Aqualad recalls the layout of The HIVE Academy from his time there and takes point along with Cap.  They first make their way into the large cafeteria, where they come across Soundblaster.  The black, metal radio stands alone in the center of the cafeteria; but then transforms into his large robot form.  Sometimes referred to as the brother of Soundwave and sometimes a clone; Soundblaster is surrounded by The Madhouse Squad.   The Madhousers work in unison to bring down the large Decepticon, who manages to catch Meta-Human #2 with a deadly laser blast to the chest, before their combined attacks from every possible angle destroy him.

"I guess, the bigger they are, the harder they fall".  Says Damien Wayne in victory.

"He didn't eject a single cassette.  He had no back-up whatsoever".  Says Batman in reply.

"What's your point Bats"??  Asks Barbara Gordon.

Batman replies sternly:  "Point is, that that was a diversion.  This TEAM still has a lot more to hit us with".

TEAM's spies especially Laserbeak and Buzzsaw have reported back to their leadership with a rundown of who exactly is a part of The Madhouse squad.  Their TEAMplan is to get The Madhouse into the large combat training area where they can take advantage of their numbers and surround The Doctor's Madhouse.  But The Madhouse has plans of their own and moves to cut off TEAM in the counselor's office area before they can all regroup.  The Doctor's crew all stick together and when they venture into the administrative area they find themselves confronted with some of the more powerful TEAMmembers.  Max has about half the Shining Force with him along with Zachary and Thor.  The Madhouse members know that if they can cut off this elite group than they can keep TEAM from regrouping and then overtake them in the inevitable Danger Room Showdown that we all know will take place.  

DC Thor is surprised to see his Hammer not send Captain America directly into the ground after he blocks it with his shield, providing cover for the four Daxomites to jump in and try to overpower Thor.  Kid Flash rushes in to try and make Thor swing and miss, while the Daxomites try to level the lord of midgard with concrete breaking punches.  Batgirl dropkicks Zack to temporarily push him out of the fight, while Alfred ignites his Double Yellow Lightsaber from both sides.  Max one ups the former MI6 Butler and uses The Sword of Light to cast Bolt 2, taking out both Pennyworth and Bette Kaine Batgirl.  Aqualad and Nightwing join the fight against The Mighty Thor who has managed to kill two of the Daxomites but the god eventually falls to the might of The unified Madhouse.  Earnest the Knight earnestly tries to grab the hammer of Thor as he swiftly runs by but he realizes that he cannot budge the weapon as the weight of it sends all four of the centaur's legs tripping over themselves.  He is then taken out by a batarang to the throat.  Max, along with Zach knowing that they must regroup with the rest of TEAM in the training area, breaks plan and  rushes over to try and heal Thor with his white ring; but it is too late.  The Shining Force leader is caught by a flurry of punches from Donna Troy that send his dead body to the ground next to Earnest and Thor.  Zack dives over the bodies of his TEAMmates in an attempt to grab the Sword of Light that has fallen from the hands of Max before he falls to the same fate at the hands of the hands of Donna Troy.  Zachary reaches over the bodies of his fallen friends, grabs the handle of the weapon and blindly swings it to the right in the direction of Donna Troy.  The body of the amazon goes flying out of sight, which is a result that surprises Zack.  Zach looks down at his hand expecting to see the sword he thought he had picked up; but instead in his hand sees a large hammer with a barely visible inscription reading "Whomsoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy; shall possess the power of Thor"......  Zack picks up the Sword of Light with his left hand, not even aware that that weapon can only be wielded by a swordsmen turned Hero and orders the few remaining men to move so they can attempt to regroup with their TEAMmates before it is too late.  

As they enter into the arena, Zach sees that every member of The Madhouse is tactically perched from areas of high ground and advantage, while TEAM has their backs against the solid side wall.  Mon El speaks for the Legion when he looks to his chain of command.  First to Sokka, and then a glance to Officer Chuck.  But eyes turn to Zachary Houslander instead when Sokka and Chuck simultaneously utter the words:  "Call it Cap".

Zach stands in front of his TEAMmates with Mjonir in one hand and the Sword of the Light in the other and bellows the command:  

"TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM...........  TOGETHER".

They rush into the fray in what will certainly be the final skirmish to end this battle.  

Both TEAMS make a MADHOUSE of the room as small battles erupt into larger ones.  Red Tornado leads the remaining Daxomites and Meta-Human against The Legion of Super-Heroes, while Aqualad squares off against Katara in a random pool that I just now noticed was there to make every 90s-early 2000s kid go crazy in that anime; but no quite anime kind of fight that everyone loves so much.  Captain America and Kid Flash join the Bat-Family to surround Soundwave just like they did against Soundblaster; but Soundwave opens his chest and calls for all twenty cassettes to eject, including the ones that were supposed to be with Soundblaster, exactly as Batman had predicted and feared.  Sokka, Toph, and Momo enter the fray as Sokka matches blades with Damien Wayne while being assisted by Garboid and Howlback.  Batman is met one on one by Enemy who manages to hold his own against Bruce Wayne way longer than their skill set would initially suggest, exactly like the Decepticon is programmed to do.  Bats does eventually manage to evade his attacks and nasty demeanor and scramble his spark with some utility belt precision.  Kid Flash punches through the face of Major/Officer Chuck, but is at least temporarily thrown off balance by the pounding seismic attacks of Toph, Rumble and Frenzy.  Squawktalk and Beastbox merge to form Squawkbox and do battle with Nightwing, while Batgirl and Cap find themselves surrounded by a dozen Cassettes occupying the ground and air.  

  Soundwave assesses the situation, and aims his energon cannon, loaded with an electric pulse into the water area, to disrupt the pitched battle taking place in the wet.  Soundwave knows that he must take out Aqualad.  He also knows that this action will kill Katara as well, a detail he will deny later to the TEAM front office.  Soundwave takes the shot.

Mon El matches daxomitian fists and gains the upper hand against the other two Daxomites, while Lightning Lad lights up Meta-Human #1.  Red Tornado takes out Triplicate Girl, Triplicate Girl, and Triplicate Girl before making short work of The Invisible Kid as well.  

Sokka takes advantage of the diversion being provided by his TEAMmates Howlback and Garboid and proves himself the better swordsmen (at least today) than Damien.  He runs the son of Batman through; but young Wayne pulls out some sort of explosive battech with his dying breath to blow up the pair of secret police cassettes.  

Nightwing, via a mix of martial arts, acrobatics, and perfectly timed weapons attacks is able to not only take out the mini gestalt Squawkbox; but also keeps the fight going as he becomes increasingly surrounded by more and more Decepticon Cassettes.  Batgirl rushes in to join Nightwing, as they try their best to gain the attention of as many Cassettes as possible, knowing that Batman is attempting to take out Soundwave himself.  Batman manages to plant several Batbombs on the much larger Soundwave while avoiding both his lasers and brute force swings, while Nightwing and Batgirl put on a clinic of acrobatic excellence to take out Slugfest, Sundor, Laserbeak, Ratbat, and The Autoscout.  Nightwing eventually falls from a laser gun blast to the head from Flip Sides and Batgirl to being mauled by Ravage and his three clones; but not before Batman is able to hit his detonator to blow Soundwave apart in just the right places.  

While Red Tornado faces Mon El approaching from his high left, he also must defend himself against Lightning Lad and the rest of The Legion coming at him from his low right.  Red Tornado briefly turns invisible and deflects the attacks of both Star Boy and Phantom Girl to take them both out of the equation; but he then locks into a grapple with Mon El.  The futuristic Superboy and leader of The Legion begins brutally ripping parts off of the living tornado/android; but Red Tornado manipulates the inside air into a fierce wind and uses his aerokinesis to spin Mon El beyond the point of tolerance causing the Daxomite to join him in death.  

Kid Flash rushes at the remaining members of The Shining Force, who are now being led by Captain Zack.  Kid Flash bashes the somewhat useless Adam to scrap metal, while grabbing Balbaroy and his wife Amon by the wings and pulling them both down to the concrete at break neck speed.  Diane and Hans try to take him out with their arrows; but even with their terrific aim are not able to hit the speedster, who directs their arrows back at them.  The knights Ken and Pelle take some damage from the Flash sidekick; but are healed by Khris and her Aura spell.  Flash comes back at the full health trio and takes them out with a flurry of speed force punches before Zachary is able to slow him down with a lightening blast and hit him with a quick bonk and slash combo from the sword of light and Mjonir.  

Batman avenges the death of his son by jamming a batarang into the jugular of Sokka.  Steve Rogers finds himself taken completely off balance from the relentless attacks on the ground beneath his feet by Toph, Rumble, and Frenzy; but despite this is still able to take out Glit, Flip Sides, and two of The Ravage Clones before being overtaken by the highly skilled movers of earth and metal around him, while his partner Mr. Wayne is able to destroy the last remaining Ravage Clone and Buzzsaw before being blasted by Lightning Lad and devoured by Overkill.