Week 2: Darkseid's Horsmen of Apokolips vs The Cowboy Killers

Followers of the End: Darkseid, Ultron w/ The Infinity Gauntlet including the Power and Time Stones, Tulin w/ 2 Katana Blades, Agent Smith (final death) w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Red Robin w/ 2 Ninja Swords, Grand Admiral Thrawn w/ Green Lantern Ring in a Phoenix TIE Fighter

Marlboro Reds: Harry Potter, Professor McGonagall, Storm, Aang w/ Star Sapphire Ring, Commander Ahsoka Tano in Ahsoka’s Starfighter, Cal Kestis, BD-1, 2 Mandalorian #3A-#4A, Kyle Houslander Dunadan Ranger, Ancient Sith Lord #1

“Welcome to Rito Village!” Tulin speaks from his beak to the Hateful Eight Cowboy Killers who dare step into these protected lands. One may be confused on the numerical literacy of Tulin for the sweet sweet cigarette crew counts more than 8 individuals. However, the common folks don’t have rights in these parts, and Tulin’s eye can see Snips circling in the distance with her starfighter, thus rounding out this wandering crew of 8 individuals.

“Odd… it shows similarities to the airbending temples” says the GOAT avatar (Korra could suck it). “Shame it all must come down.”

Tulin flaps his wings, “Come down you say?” The bird-like creature turns to retreat to a higher elevation in the village while saying over shoulder, “You’ll wish you never came here…”

Immediately following, the Village’s first line of defense takes the form of a master strategist confined to a mere Phoenix TIE fighter who opens fire on the new visitors of Rito. The Grand Admiral was able to strike down the common mandos and singular sith lord. Although, it is a shame he is forced into a machine that stands no chance to the fierce Ahsoka Tano who makes quick work of the opposing pilot.

Ahsoka continues her onslaught as she reigns down hellfire on the village. She obliterates everything in her path for she is simply the most powerful star wars character to have ever fought. This Horsemen team is being killed one by one until it appears everyone is dead and the Cowboy Killers have no work left to do.

Kyle Houslander, the wise Dunadan Ranger, reflects on the victory that is had here, “It seems too easy. I don’t see how Alex Houslander could think he will win it all again. He just had one person kill his entire team. Look at Darkseid’s body here, slain with such simplicity.”

As watcher of this match, I too am confused by the manner in which such a victory has been earned. This match was short and had no suspense, but I suppose the Cowboy Killers are—

Wait, the landscape is… reversing? It appears the village fires are going out and the Horsemen are regaining life. And now a purple blast strikes the Commander’s ship instantly exploding it.

“What magic is this??” Demands Professor McGonagall.

“No magic, simple creature. I control all, and I will stop you creatures so that peace can occur.” Ultron’s voice echoes over the village. The glare of his Gauntlet shines across all, for it was the time stone who did this work.

The second attack wave of Horsemen contains all their might. Agent Smith appears to be on another level of hatred as he destroys Kyle Houslander and BD-1. But mess with the droid and you mess with Cal Kestis, junkyard dawg, who ferociously leaps towards the man in black… only to be split in two, for Agent Smith and his own lightsabers are too much for the Jedi to handle.

“AVADA KEDAVRA” a green bolt strikes down the suited man. “I’ve always wanted to use that spell!” Professor McGonagall grins.

“PROFESSOR” exclaims Harry, “I thought we aren’t supposed to use that spell, it’s unforgivable!”

“If you want to walk out of here alive, you better start using it” replies McGonagall.

The professor shoots another green bolt to the sky and takes down the Rito bird known as Tulin. Harry is disgusted by his mentor’s actions, it’s despicable for her to throw away all her morals… in his state of confusion, Red Robin has been able to sneak up and find his blade into the back of the boy who lived. Aang sees this act too late, but is at least able to airbend Tim Drake off the edge of the village where he falls to his death.

McGonagall is heartbroken to see Harry die, but she is blessed with a quick death from Darkseid and she will never have to come to terms with that death.

Darkseid turns towards the remaining two Killers trying to end this fight quickly, but the combined atmospheric control by Storm and the airbending skills of Aang is enough force to tear the new god apart. The ruler of Apokolips is absolutely shredded to pieces by the bald headed duo.

“Shame, this town suffers because of your interference. Remember that for your next life Avatar, perhaps you’ll be so lucky not to meet me again.You asked for this town to come down, and that it will.” Ultron finishes the last words with a purple blast to the village floor that spreads and spreads until the entire village explodes.

Week 2 Staff Consortium: David Byrne's Meat Suits vs Doctor's Madhouse

Meat Suits: Villager and Isabelle, Moon Knight, Shao Khan w/Scythe and Personal Holtzman Shield, Hank Henshaw w/Yellow Lantern Ring, Airbenders #1-4, Chun Li, One Punch Man, Jade, Black Lantern Goblin, Black Lantern Star Sapphire

Doctors Madhouse: Rogue, Miles Morales, Spider Gwen, Peni Parker, Spider-Ham, Spider-Punk, Spider-Man India, Spider-Byte, Spider-Noir, Invincible (Mark Grayson), Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien, Elf #1-7

The Underhills Vs. The Sigmaz

 The Underhills are Iroh, X-24, Abomination, X-Man, Samwise Gamgee (w/ a blue lantern ring), Miguel O' Hara (w/ a green lantern ring), and Pterodactyl #1

The Sigmaz are Link (w/ Ancient Armor) on Link's Motorcycle, Zelda (w/ Bubble Flower), Daruk (w/ Dusk Claymore), Urbosa (w/ helicopter helmet), Revali (w/ topaz rod), Mipha, Master Hand, Odin, and Domestic Terrorist #1-5

Week 2 Democracy: Dolla 49 McRib Vs. The Sigmas in Rito Village

 Dolla 49 McRib is Knull, Dr. Stange, Wonder Woman, Blue Beetle, Cyborg, and Dragon #1-3.

The Sigmas are Legolas, Pit, Anakin Skywalker, King Manwe, Smaug, Darkhawk, and Army Soldier #1-7.  

Everyone in the league will have until 9:00 AM on Monday to vote.

Survivor Series Match #3

 Mean Gene Okerlund:

Currently in the ring, representing The American League, accompanied by their manager Sensational Sherri, weighing in at a combined 1,610 lbs Indiana Jones (w/ Personal Holtzman Shiled), Bowser:  King of Koopa, The 5th Brother, Capt. Britain, Sgt. Slaughter, and THE 8TH WONDER OF THE WORLD: ANDRE THE GIANT.

And now coming down the aisle, representing The National League, accompanied by their manager Miss Elizabeth, weighing in at a combined 1,103 lbs Hulk Hogan, Superman, Atreus, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Bolin, and Chuck Norris.  

Body:  

THIS IS GONNA BE A BARN BURNER POGO.  WE ARE GONNA......

Pogo:

Wait a second Jesse....  Aren't you in this match??

Body:

OH.  MY BAD.  LATER POGO.

Pogo:

We will just wait here a second as Gorilla Monsoon comes on over to fill in for Jesse "The Body".  

.........

Monsoon:

Hey buddy, glad to be with you.  This is gonna be a barn burner Pogo.

Pogo:

So I've heard Gorilla.  Let's get started.  

Monsoon:  

This may be the best match-up yet Pogo.  We have heavy hitters here on both sides.  Four WWF Legends as well as some outsiders that are legends in their own right.  

Pogo:

That's six WWF Legends if you count Sherri and Elizabeth.

Monsoon:

But we don't Pogo, because we are terrible misogynists.  

Pogo:

Let's get this show on the road Gorilla.  

Looks like Bolin is going to take the ring for The NL and Capt. Britain is already in there waiting for him for The AL Squad.  

Monsoon:

Bolin is a tough competitor and certainly has some moves; but I am not sure his earth bending skills are going to translate to the squared circle as well as his brother's fire bending.  

Pogo:  

Very true Gorilla.  Not a whole lot of earth to bend in this arena.  This may be a mismatch.

Here comes the grapple for a test of strength, and Bolin gets thrown into the turnbuckle with ease.  Bolin moves quickly and hops onto the second rope for a jump attack; but CAPTAIN BRITAIN JUST CAUGHT THE EARTH BENDER IN MID AIR GORILLA.

Monsoon:

Quite the precarious situation Pogo.  This may not end very well for the young Arena combatant.  

Pogo:

And here we go Gorilla.  That's a choke slam to the mat from the big Brit.  He hooks the leg and that's an easy three count.  The NL is now down a man.

 Next man up is Atreus.

Monsoon:

More like next boy up Pogo.  And it doesn't look like he'll be facing off against Britain.  Sgt. Slaughter just tagged in.  Atreus moves in for the double drop kick; but he misses and Slaughter takes full advantage.  HE'S GIVING HIM THE KNUCKLE GRIND POGO!!  This could get ugly for the young Atreus; because Slaughter is giving the signal for the Camel Clutch.  He's got him down, trying for the submission.  Here comes the ref and that's it Pogo.  Atreus has just tapped out.  The NL Squad is dwindling fast.

Pogo:

Hogan and Superman, who haven't even seen any action in this match yet seem astounded by their team taking heavy losses early.  Looks like they are arguing about something Gorilla.  

Monsoon:

Seems like they can't decide who is supposed to be in charge of this squad.  I'm not sure two egos this big can come together Pogo.  This ring just isn't big enough to handle them.

Pogo:

I don't think the arena is big enough to handle those two egos.  They aren't known for being great teammates Gorilla.  

Monsoon:

Looks like your old partner Jesse "The Body" is coming in next for The NL.  Maybe some wrestling experience is what they need to turn the tides here.  

Pogo:

They better do something Gorilla, before it is too late.  Looks like Slaughter is coming back to the corner for a tag.  He's going to tag in Bowser, but The 5th Brother takes the tag instead.  

Jesse comes at him hard and delivers some serious blows to the dome of The 5th Brother mixing it up between elbows and closed fists.  Jesse picks up The Inquisitor and here it comes Pogo.  OHHHHHH.  DELIVERS the Canadian Backbreaker with a vengeance.  He is going down for the pin; but where is the Referee?!!?

Monsoon:

The ref has his back turned and is being distracted by Sensational Sherri!!  Jesse has had him down for well over a three count but the ref isn't paying attention Pogo.  Looks like Chuck Norris is running into the ring to get the Ref to turn around.  He isn't the legal man, but he wants that attention.  Now Slaughter is back in the ring and has just knocked Jesse off The 5th Brother and pulled him back to safety.

Pogo:

The Ref has turned back around but doesn't know who the legal men are in this match.  Looks like Chuck Norris is about to mess some people up.  HE'S WINDING UP FOR THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK GORILLA!!  

Monsoon:

He's going to deliver it Sgt. Slaughter; but Andre pulled Slaughter out of the way and pushed the Referee right in Chuck's direction.  ROUNDHOUSE KICK HIT THE REF AND KNOCKED HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF POGO!!  His head went into the 6th row.  We need a new ref in this match quick or we are going to have all out chaos.  Every single competitor just jumped into the ring and I am not sure the springs can handle it.  

Pogo:  

Look at this Gorilla.  We have a new special guest referee.  Two of them actually.  It's former Heavyweight boxing champion Buster Douglas along with Punch Out Ref Mario Mario himself.  They need two experienced guys in here to handle this crowd.  The Refs are going up to Ventura and Norris first.  It looks like they are blaming them both for the ref with the missing head.

Monsoon:  

That isn't right Pogo, it was The Giant that pushed the ref into their path.  But they don't care Pogo......  THEY'RE DISQUALIFYING THEM BOTH.  Norris and Ventura have both been thrown out of this match and sent bak to the locker room Pogo.  It's just Hogan and The Man of Steel left for The NL.  

Pogo:

Here comes Jesse, heading back to the booth now Gorilla.

Body:

DID YOU SEE THAT NONSENSE POGO?!!?  THE REFS ARE ALWAYS AGAINST THE NL.  THIS IS A DAMN TRAVESTY POGO.  AND WHAT ARE YOU SMIRKING AT GORILLA?!!?  HOW THE HELL COULD THEY THROW THE BEST LOOKING, PRETTIEST, MOST TALENTED WRESTLER OF ALL TIME OUT OF MATCH.  I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG POGO.

Monsoon:

WOW!!  Well, Pogo as Jesse and Chuck head back to the locker room with a disqualification, this is going to be a tough one for The NL being down six to two.  Now Pogo, Norris and Ventura are not going to receive deaths for this after being disqualified, are they??

Pogo:

No Gorilla, they are still going to get deaths.  Those are the rules here in The Survivor Series.

Monsoon:

Really??  That just doesn't seem fair.  And I thought Vince McMahon was bad.  The Commissioner of this league sure is an a**hole.

Pogo:

You have no idea Gorilla.  Now let's get back to the match.

 As the referees get things sorted out, Bowser enters the ring for The AL; but it seems that Hogan and Superman are still arguing on their side of the ring.  They can't agree on anything Gorilla, including who should enter the ring first.  And, it looks like Superman is going to be the guy to go in next.   Bowser comes at Supes with an attempted chop; but Superman blocks and returns with a blow of his own.  Supes keeps the upper hand with a couple of well delivered hits.  Superman keeps control of the match by throwing Bowser into his own corner and runs in swiftly to deliver the shoulder barge.  Supes measures Bowser and goes in for a big swing: but Bowser ducks; and.......  HE ACCIDENTLY HIT HOGAN GORILLA!!

Monsoon:

He did indeed Pogo, Superman just accidently hit his partner The Hulkster and Hogan isn't having any part of it.  He looks like he might hit Superman back.  Bowser heads back to his own corner for a tag; and here comes Andre the Giant Pogo, the 8th wonder of the world is really moving and he comes in with a double clothesline knocking Superman over the top rope and both he and Hogan down to the mat outside the ring.  The refs try to gain control; but WHAT.......  Wait....  What's Indiana Jones doing outside the ring over there Pogo??  HE'S GOT A STEEL CHAIR.  He just hit Superman with it and the Man of Steel is down.  Dr. Jones runs back to his corner; but Superman is on the ground and Hogan is trying to shake off the hit from Andre as he climbs back into the ring.  The Hulkster gets into the ring; but Mario the Ref walks past him and starts the ten count on Superman.  

Pogo:  

Hogan is pleading with the ref; but Mario Mario is right.  Superman is the legal man and if he doesn't get back in that ring that count out will have him eliminated as well.  I think there may have ben Kryptonite in that steel chair.

Monsoon:

I'm not sure Hulk can put his differences with Supes aside or not Pogo.  The ref's count is at 5.  

Pogo:

What's this Gorilla??  Hogan was shaking his head no at first; but now he has his hand out.  He's reaching for Superman Gorilla.  

         **HULK HOGAN**:  "We can do this.  We can do it together.....  GRAB MY HAND BROTHER!!!!

Monsoon:

Ref's count is at 7, 8, 9.......  

Pogo:

SUPERMAN TOOK THE HULKSTER'S HAND GORILLA!!  He's back in the ring.  

Monsoon:

Sgt. Slaughter and Dr. Jones are both in the ring Pogo, I'm not sure who the legal man is.

Pogo:

I don't think Superman cares Gorilla.  He is revitalized and taking them both on.  Slaughter takes a red boot to the face to put him down on the mat and Indiana Jones just got power slammed by the Kryptonian.  I think he felt the receipt from that steel chair outside the ring and then some Gorilla.  Superman gets to the top rope in a single bound and puts his hands up in the air.  PERFECTLY EXECUTED BODY SPLASH onto Slaughter.  1, 2, 3.....  

Monsoon:

Slaughter's out and Indiana Jones is moving towards the ropes for a tag; but Supes is too quick.  He intercepts Jones to say I'm not done with you.  One more powerslam from Superman and here's the count.  1, 2, 3.......  Now Dr. Jones is out as well Pogo!!  That's two AL competitors down in just as many minutes.  Superman heads back to the corner and tags Hulk Hogan.  Let's see what the Hulkster can accomplish in this underdog match up.  It still is four to two Pogo.  

Pogo:

That's right Gorilla.  Wait....  What's this.  I think we may have the match up we have been waiting for.  Andre the Giant is stepping into the ring to go head to head with The Hulkster.  Hogan and The Giant start trading blows to the head that I'm not sure how anyone would stay standing for.

Monsoon:

They sure are Pogo.  Hogan comes off the ropes and measures Andre with that punch.  Here comes another, and another, AND ANOTHER POGO.  The Giant is dazed.  Hogan looks to the crowd.  They are going crazy and then he looks to Superman.  Supes is pushing his hands up in the air, giving him the signal.  He's gonna try and body slam Andre the Giant Pogo!!

Pogo:

That's never been done before Gorilla.  I don't know if it is possible, even for The Hulkster.  He gets into position and starts to lift.........  But Andre comes down with a double fisted punch to the back of the head of Hogan.  The Hulkster couldn't do it Gorilla and now he is paying the price.  He is down on one knee taking a beating from The Giant.  The Giant throws Hogan into The AL Corner and the remaining four members start beating Hogan down with a quadruple team effort while Buster Douglas tries to break it up.  Hogan has got to be in some pain now Gorilla.

Monsoon:

Andre tags in Bowser, so he can have some fun with The Hulkster and The KIng of Koopa doesn't waste any time leveling Hogan.  Irish whip in from Bowser but Hogan is able to duck under the clothesline and deliver a clothesline of his own on the way back.  Bowser is down; but will The Hulkster have enough strength to make it over to Superman for a tag??  

Pogo:

He barely gets there in time Gorilla, before Bowser can get to him; but now that Superman is back in, he wastes no time getting some revenge for his partner on the big turtle or whatever he is.  Superman throws Bowser into the turnbuckle and hits with the shoulder barge.  He's dazed and stumbling Gorilla.  And......  He's down.  Here comes the elbow drop and 1, 2, 3.......  Bowser is all done.  Supes got him Gorilla.

Monsoon:

He better look out though Pogo.  Look who just stepped over the ropes.  It's Andre the Giant.  Let's see if Supes can do any better against The 8th Wonder than Hogan could.  Superman takes himself off the ropes and leaps at the big man delivering an elbow to the dome of Andre.  Supes is back off the ropes again, this time delivering the double drop kick.  Andre is wavering Pogo; but he is still on his feet.  Hogan starts yelling to his partner to do it.  Hogan wants Superman to do what he couldn't do.  He wants him to bodyslam the Giant.  

Pogo:

He's gonna try it Gorilla,  Superman is in position, he gets underneath him and BAM.....  Another huge blow from Andre.  And Superman is down on one knee just like Hogan was.  This is amazing Gorilla, even The Man of Steel himself, can't slam The Giant.  Andre delivers a fierce eye gouge to Supes and The Last Son of Krypton is down on the mat getting a taste of Andre the Giant's size 26 boot.  Andre picks Superman back up and flings him into his own ropes.  He's toying with them Gorilla.  He wants Superman to get the tag so he can finish off Hogan first.  

Monsoon:

He may get his wish Pogo.  Superman made the tag to the only other guy left on his team.  Hogan is back in the ring.  Andre is taunting him to come his way.  Hogan delivers the first punch and the second and the third but Andre isn't even budging.  Now it's Andre's turn Pogo.  Andre with the chop and another one and Hogan is down on one knee.  Andre is just pummeling him and having his way with The Hulkster.  This doesn't look good for The NL Pogo.  Andre brings Hogan back to his feet and gives him the Irish Whip in to the ropes.  Andre measures The Hulkster for the finishing blow.  This could be the end of The NL Pogo.  

Pogo:  

The Hulkster is still on his feet Gorilla.  Here comes another punch from Andre.  THEY AREN'T EVEN AFFECTING HIM GORILLA!!  Hogan is shaking his head wildly.  He points the finger at Andre and starts waving it.  Here comes the punch from Hogan.  And another one.  And another one.  Andre is stunned and staggering Gorilla; but still on his feet.  Superman yells to Hogan from the other side of the ring.  He's giving his partner encouragement.  He's reminding him of all the hard work, the prayers, the vitamins, and all The Little Hulkamaniacs out there depending on him.  Hogan is going to go for it again Gorilla.  He gets in position.  Andre is up in the air.  AND HULK HOGAN HAS JUST BODY SLAMMED ANDRE THE GIANT.  I didn't think it could be done Gorilla; but The Hulkster just slammed The Giant.  He's off the ropes, here comes the leg drop, and the pin.  1, 2, 3.......  

Monsoon:

It's done Pogo!!  Hogan has eliminated The Giant!!

Pogo:

It's now two on two Gorilla and both The 5th Brother and Captain Britain have leapt into the ring to take on Hogan; but Superman has joined the fray as well.  The NL members both simultaneously duck clotheslines from The AL.  Hogan and Supes grab their opponents by the arms like they are about to give the Irish Whip; but instead they throw them into each other.  5th Brother and Britain collide and then both hit the mat.  Hogan and Superman jump on both The 5th Brother and Captain Britain at the same time.  They are going for a double pin.  Gorilla, is this even legal??

Monsoon:

Two referees, so I guess they can do two pins at once.  1, 2, 3.........  POGO.......  DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!!?

Survivor Series Match #2

 Mean Gene Okerland:

Currently in the ring, representing The American League and accompanied by their manager Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, weighing in at a combined 1,540 lbs King Leonidas, Valkyrie, The Sentry, The Terminator(2), Achilles, and Hercules (Marvel).  

And now coming down the aisle, representing The National League and accompanied by their manager Slick, weighing in at a combined 2,450 lbs Johnny Quick, Ancient Sith Lord #1, Kratos, The Blob, Walker: Texas Ranger, and Colossus.  

  Pogo:

Looks like we have The Terminator and Johnny Quick stepping into the ring to start things off.  

Body:

SPEED VS. STRENGTH POGO.  AND YOU KNOW STRENGTH WINS EVERY TIME.  

Pogo:  

Not necessarily Jesse, there are a lot of variables in the world of sports entertainment.  And here we go...  Johnny rushes at The Terminator at break neck speed; and.......  Wow......  he ran into T2 and I think he literally broke his own neck. 

Body:

I TOLD YOUR DUMBA** POGO.  THIS IS GONNA BE AN EASY PIN COUNT.  LET'S SEE WHO IS UP NEXT.  

Pogo:

It looks like Colossus is going to step into the ring for the NL side next.  We'll see if he can do any better against The Terminator.  Hey Jesse, doesn't that Terminator robot look like that dude you starred in Predator with??  

Body:

SHUT UP POGO.  WE DON'T TALK ABOUT HOLLYWOOD MOVIES WHEN WE ARE TALKING WRASSLIN.  NOW LET'S WATCH THESE TWO METAL MONSTROSITIES HASH IT OUT.  

Pogo:  

They have got themselves caught in a grapple and this is quite the test of strength.  Colossus seems to gain the upper hand; but he tosses Terminator back into his own corner where he is able to get in a tag.  Looks like he is tagging Valkyrie next.  

Body:

WHAT A FOOLISH MOVE BY THE WASHINGTON REDSKIN COLOSSUS.  HE THREW THE MAN RIGHT INTO HIS OWN CORNER.  NOT A TACTICAL MOVE IN A TAG COMPETITION.  AND HERE COMES VALKYRIE......  OH MY GOD POGO.  LOOK AT COLOSSUS POUNDING ON VALKYRIE.  HITTING A WOMAN LIKE THAT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG.  WE DIDN'T CONDONE THAT SORT OF THING BACK IN MY DAY.  IS THERE ANYTHING SO LOW THAT MEMBERS OF THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS WON'T DO IT.  THEY REALLY ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.

Pogo:

It is true Jesse.  Valkyrie is the only woman who was played in this competition.  And my God is she taking a beating from the former X-Man.  She wanted equal rights, it looks like she is getting equal lefts as well.  

Body:

SHUT THE HELL UP POGO.  YOU USED THAT JOKE LAST YEAR AT THE ROYAL RUMBLE.  

Pogo:

Well, I don't recall that Jesse; but I will say that Colossus is definitely showing Valkyrie that those hands are E for Everyone.  

Body:

DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU TO SHUT UP POGO??  YOU USED THAT JOKE LAST YEAR TOO, YOU RETARD.  WHAT DID YOU DO??  GO BACK AND READ LAST YEAR'S WRESTLING WEEK AND RECYCLE THE BEST PARTS??

Pogo:

........................

Body:

VALKYRIE IS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE ABOUT TO GET A FULL ELBOW DROP DOWN ON THE NECK OF THE ASGARDIAN BEAUTY.  COLOSSUS IS GONNA GET THIS PIN COUNT EASY POGO.

Pogo:

Colossus uses his down time to tag in The Blob, while The AL Squad convincves The Sentry to step up and take the ring.

Body:

THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD POGO.  THESE ARE THE TOP TWO COMPETITORS IN THIS MATCH.  THE SENTRY HAS THE STRENGTH ADVANTAGE POGO; BUT THEY SAY THE BLOB CANNOT BE MOVED.  LET'S FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS.  

Pogo:

The Sentry comes in quick at The Blob with a shoulder barge: but The Blob doesn't even budge.  That's quite a feat Jesse.  Now The Sentry is hitting him with some building leveling chops; but it still has no effect on the fat man.

Body:

WHO ARE YOU CALLING FAT POGO??  YOU'RE BARELY A SACK OF TEN WHITE CASTLES AWAY FROM THAT GUY.  AT LEAST HE HAS SOME MUSCLE BURIED UNDER THAT BLUBBER.  

Pogo:

The Sentry seems to be mixing up his game here and starts maneuvering behind the big man.  He hits him with a ghetto blaster kick to the back of his head Jesse, and The Sentry has The Blob staggering.  The Blob seems shocked and doesn't know what to do but he manages to get back to his corner and make a tag.  Kratos comes in next but The Sentry seems to want a break as well.  He tags in Hercules.  

Body:

WE HAVE GOT TWO DEMI-gODS WRAPPED UP IN EACH OTHER HERE POGO.  THIS IS QUITE THE TEST OF STRENGTH.

Pogo:

Actually Jesse, the Marvel version of Hercules still classifies as a demi-god; but Kratos is an actual god.  

Body:

JESUS POGO.  SPOILER ALERT MUCH??  NOT EVERYONE HAS PLAYED THE GAME YET.  HAVE A HEART YOU MORON.  

Pogo:  

Hercules whips Kratos into the ropes and comes in hard with a clothesline to knock Kratos to the mat.  He picks him back up and whips him into the turnbuckle.  But when he comes in for the shoulder to the mid-section, Kratos gets out of the way in the knick of time.

Body:

HERCULES WENT HARD INTO THAT STEEL POST BEHIND THE TURNBUCKLE POGO.  THAT IS GONNA CHANGE THE COURSE OF THIS MATCH.  

Pogo:

Hercules is staggering, but Kratos wastes no time hitting with a body slam and following up with an elbow drop.  Kratos then takes himself off of the ropes and comes down hard with a big boot to the face of Hercules.  He gets down and hooks the leg and that's a three count Jesse.  Kratos just took out Hercules.

Body:

THAT'S IMPRESSIVE POGO.  HERCULES WAS PROBABLY THE SECOND MOST FORMIDABLE MEMBER OF THIS AL SQUAD.  BUT THEY STILL GOT THE SENTRY.

Pogo:

Speaking of The Sentry, his team is looking for him to get back in there; but he doesn't seem interested.  The Spartan, King Leonidas is entering the ring instead, while the wore out Kratos tags in The Ancient Sith Lord.  Darth Samartino heads over to the side of the ring to have some words with Bobby "The Brain" and seems to be letting his anger get the best of him.

Body:

I CAN'T TELL WHAT LORD SAMARTINO IS SAYING TO HEENAN BUT HE DOESN'T LOOK HAPPY.  HE SHOULD WALK AWAY FROM THE MANAGER AND GET HIS HEAD IN THE MATCH.

Pogo:

What's this Jesse?!!?  While the Sith Lord had his back turned Leonidas has just grappled him from behind and puts him into a cradle.  Here comes the ref..... 1, 2, 3......  HE'S PINNED JESSE.  Leonidas has just eliminated The Sith Lord.  

Leonidas is really doing up the celebration; but here comes Colossus and Kratos from behind with a double clothesline.  

Body:

MORE CHEAP SHOTS FROM THE REDSKIN AND HIS PARTNER POGO.  DO THESE CHEATERS EVER STOP??

Pogo:

And now here comes The Blob with a full body splash on Leonidas and we have another pin count.  1, 2, 3....  Leonidas is out with The Blob's huge body on top of him.  

Body:

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE POGO?!!?  THE BLOB WASN'T EVEN THE LEGAL MAN.  LOOKS LIKE COLOSSUS AND HIS REDSKIN CHEATING IS RUBBING OFF ON THE REST OF THE TEAM.  

Pogo:

I'm not sure Jesse.  There may have been a tag in all that confusion.

Body:

I DIDN'T SEE NO TAG POGO.  AND IF I DIDN'T SEE ONE, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T SEE ONE.

Pogo:  

How would you see it if I missed it??  It may have happened Jesse.

Body:

BECAUSE YOU'RE A MORON POGO.  THAT'S WHY.  AND I DON'T MISS THINGS.  

Pogo:

Next up, after all that commotion, we have Achilles squaring off against Walker:  Texas Ranger.

Body:

PROBABLY TWO OF THE BEST HAND TO HAND FIGHTERS ON THE PLANET RIGHT HERE POGO.  

Pogo:

And they are both showing off their skills tonight.  Walker hits Achilles with a chop that sends him backwards; but Achilles comes back with a knee to the midsection.  Achilles comes back off the ropes from the staggered Walker and delivers a perfectly executed power slam on The Ranger.  Achilles is up on his feet soaking up the cheers and the crowd support; but he doesn't seem to see Walker moving back towards his corner to tag The Blob.  

Body:

LOOK AT THIS POGO.  ACHILLES TURNED AROUND EXPECTING TO SEE WALKER BUT WAS SHOCKED TO SEE THE BLOB THERE INSTEAD.  HE MAY GO BACK TO THE CORNER TO TAG IN ONE OF THE BIG MEN FROM HIS OWN TEAM POGO.

Pogo:

I thought he might too Jesse; but it looks like Achilles is going to stay in.  I think he wants a piece of the big mutant.  Achilles starts hitting him with some aerial kicks and maneuvers; but can't knock the big man down.  Looks like he is going to try to hit him with one of his patented aerial spin moves; but The Blob just caught him in mid air and is holding the Greek like a baby in his arms.  

Body:

THIS COULD BE BAD POGO.  ACHILLES CAN'T BREAK FREE AND THE BLOB IS STARTING TO LEAN FORWARD.  THAT'S IT POGO........  THE BLOB JUST FELL RIGHT ON TOP OF ACHILLES.  I DON'T SEE HIM MOVING THAT MASS OF MAN TO GET FREE.  1, 2, 3.....  THAT'S THE PIN POGO.

Pogo:

There is another mass of confusion as everyone starts stepping into the ring.  The Sentry and The Terminator both try to get Achilles free but nobody can budge The Blob, while Kratos and Colossus try to get The Sentry and T2 away from their partner The Blob.  Even Heenan and Slick are involved, this is chaos Jesse.  The Blob finally moves himself away so they can drag out Achilles, when Kratos delivers an elbow to the dome of T2 that I think just short circuited the Terminator.  

Body:

BUT LOOKIE HERE POGO.  THE SENTRY DOESN'T CARE ONE BIT.  HE JUST PICKED UP HIS BRAIN DEAD PARTNER AND IS USING HIM AS A BLUNT OBJECT AGAINST KRATOS AND COLOSSUS.  THAT ISN'T EASY TO DO POGO.  AS YOU KNOW, I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE HAVING A BRAIN DEAD PARTNER.  

Pogo:

Kratos and Colossus are both staggered as The Sentry drops what is left of The Terminator on top of Slick breaking the back of the skinny manager.  The Sentry bodyslams Colossus to the ground, knocking him unconscious and bringing him back to his human form.  The Sentry hooks the leg:  1, 2, 3.....  Colossus is eliminated.

Body:

BUT WAIT POGO..

Pogo:

The Sentry wastes no time.  He jumps directly off Colossus and does the same thing to Kratos.  1, 2, 3......  

Body:

AND NOW KRATOS IS GONE POGO!!

THAT'S IT POGO.  HERE WE GO.  NO GETTING AROUND IT THIS TIME.  WE GOT THE SENTRY VS. THE BLOB.  MAY THE BEST MAN WIN.  

Pogo:

The Sentry and The Blob lock in with each other but The Sentry still can't move and The Blob still can't do anything to The Sentry to even leave a mark.  The ref stops to yell at Bobby The Brain, but Walker: Texas Ranger sneaks under the ropes and gets behind The Blob.  Walker leans in for his patented round house kick.

Body:

WALKER JUST HIT HIS OWN TEAMMATE THE BLOB IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK.  BLOB AND SENTRY ARE STILL LOCKED TOGETHER AND WENT TUMBLING OVER THE TOP ROAP.  

Pogo:

They both fell onto the outside mat and The Blob has landed on top.  

Body:

THEY ARE OUTSIDE THE RING AND THE SENTRY CAN'T GET THE BLOB TO BUDGE OFF OF HIM.  AND WHAT IS THIS?!!?  THE BLOB IS JUST LAYING ON TOP OF HIM NOT MOVING POGO. 

Pogo:

They are both the legal men Jesses and they are outside the ring stuck.  The Blob just won't get off of The Sentry.  The ref starts the ten count:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, the crowd is counting along, 7, 8, 9, 10...........

Body:

IT'S  A DOUBLE COUNT OUT POGO.  AND WALKER IS STILL IN THIS MATCH.  

Pogo:

Looks like Walker remains as sole survivor and The NL just stole this one Jesse.  

Week 1: The first ever FFL Survivor Series: Match #1 (of 3)

 Representing the American League is:

-Juggernaut, King Leonidas, and Indiana Jones for Darkseid's Horsemen of Apocalypse.

-Bowser:  King of Koopa, Red Tornado, and Valkyrie for The Doctor's Madhouse.

-The Sentry, The 5th Brother, and Night Brother #2 for Dolla 49 McRib.

-Foghorn Leghorn, Terminator (2), and Captain Britain for The Underhills.

-Andre the Giant, Hercules, and Achilles for TEAM.

and

-Hercules, Sgt. Slaughter, and Ajax Major for Grayson's Goobers

Representing the National League is:  

-The Na-Baron "The BEAST" Count Glossu Rabban, Johnny Quick, and Hulk Hogan for Bill Cosby and Scarlett Johanson's Trash Pandas.

-Superman, The Burger King, and Ancient Sith Lord #1 for The Cowboy Killers.

-Kratos, Atreus, and Fenrir for The Sigmaz.

-Bane, The Blob, and Jesse "The Body" Ventura for The Sigmas.

-Bolin, Mako, and Walker:  Texas Ranger for David Byrne's Meat Suits.

and

-Collossus, Chuck Norris, and Usagi Yojimbo for The Washington Redskins.

Match #1:

The American League is Juggernaut, Red Tornado, Night Brother #2, Foghorn Leghorn, Hercules (mythology), and Ajax Major w/ their manager The Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart.

The National League is THE BEAST:  The Na-Baron himself Count Glossu Rabban, The Burger King (w/ a Wakisachi), Fenrir, Bane, Mako, and Usagi Yojimbo w/ their manager Mr. Fuji.

Mean Gene Okerland:  

The following match is set for six falls.  Once each combatant from one team has been eliminated by traditional WWF rules, the match will be over.  Once an individual combatant has been eliminated, they must leave the ring.  

Now, coming down the aisle. weighing in at a combined 2,050 lbs representing the American  league and escorted by their manager The MOUTH of the SOUTH Jimmy Hart is The Juggernaut, Red Tornado, Night Brother #2, Foghorn Leghorn, Hercules, and Ajax Major.

And their opponents weighing in at a combined 1,125 lbs representing The National League and escorted by their manager the mysterious Mr. Fuji is THE BEAST:  The Na-Baron Count Glossu Rabban, The Burger King, Fenrir, Bane, Mako, and Usagi Yojimbo.

The Neon Master Pogo:

Looks like this could be one heck of a match huh Jesse??

Jesse "The Body" Ventura:

ONE HECK OF A MATCH POGO?!!?  LOOKS LIKE YOU TOOK THE LAST YEAR TO FIND A WAY TO GET EVEN DUMBER.  DID YOU NOT SEE THE JUGGERNAUT JUST WALK DOWN THAT AISLE??  THIS IS GOING TO BE MASSACRE.

Pogo:

Well, Jesse we all know you are a bit biased to the heels; but this N.L. squad isn't anything to write off so quickly.  

Body:

LOOKS LIKE THIS 12 MAN TAG MATCH IS ABOUT TO GET STARTED POGO.  WE HAVE HERCULES IN THE RING READY TO START OUT FOR THE A.L. AND LITTLE MAKO IN THERE FOR THE N.L.  

Pogo:

Mako may have a disadvantage in size here Jesse; but he makes up for it in speed and skill.  Plus his fire bending skills and arena experience make him formidable.

Body:

SPEED AND SKILL MY PERFECT, SEXY BUTT POGO.  LOOK AT THAT PHYSIQUE ON HERCULES.  HE HAS EVERY LADY IN THIS CROWD SCREAMING FOR THOSE MUSCLES, INCLUDING YOU POGO.  

Pogo:

Mako is leaping all around this ring and throwing fire at Hercules.  He is trying to keep his distance and avoid getting into a melee bout with Hercules Body, and I don't blame him.  The fire doesn't seem to have a whole lot of effect on Hercules and Mako has just gone to the corner to tag in Bane.  

Body:

NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT POGO.  THESE ARE THE KIND OF HEAVY HITTERS I CAME HERE TO SEE.  AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE GOING TO LOCK INTO EACH OTHER WITH SOME GRECCO-ROMAN STYLE STUFF RIGHT OFF THE BAT.  IF THE MUSCLES ON THESE TWO WERE ANY PRETTIER THEY WOULD BE ATTACHED TO ME POGO.  

Pogo:  

  Bane and Hercules are definitely throwing the haymakers Jesse.  They are wearing each other out but neither one seems to gain the upper hand.

Body:

AND HERE COMES THE IRISH WHIP IN FROM HERCULES.  THEY COLLIDED POGO!!  THEY ARE BOTH DOWN ON THE MAT.

Pogo:

Looks like they aren't too interested in each other at the moment, they are both trying to crawl back to their corners for a tag.  Looks like they are both going to be successful as Hercules tags in Nightbrother #2 and Bane tags in Fenrir.

Body:

THE NIGHT BRO IS ALREADY IN THE RING; BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THE NL SQUAD IS STILL TRYING TO COAX FENRIR IN LIKE HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  

Pogo:

I mean.......  I don't think he does know what to do Jesse.  He is just a dog.  

Body:

A DOG POGO??  HE'S A GEE-DEE WOLF, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF EM.  IF HE WERE ANY BIGGER OF A KAY-NINE, HE'D BE A DAMN FOX (shout out Fizz).

Pogo:

Wait....  Look at the side of the ring Jesse.  What is the Mouth of the South up to??  Jimmy Hart is shouting into his megaphone at Fenrir.  He's walking over and wagging his tail.  Jimmy just put his megaphone on siren and threw it back towards the dressing rooms.

Body:

FENRIR IS CHASING IT DOWN THE AISLE POGO.  AND THE REF IS STARTING HIS TEN COUNT.  

Pogo:

He can't do that Jesse, that's outside interference!!  The Ref did nothing to stop it and is now about to count Fenrir out.  This isn't fair.  

Body:

FENRIR IS THE LEGAL MAN POGO.  HE'S GOT TO STAY IN THE RING AND NOW HE IS OUT.  BOTH SIDES LOOK LIKE THEY ARE GETTING EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT.  THE AL IS LAUGHING IT OFF WHILE THE NL IS PISSED.

Pogo:  

Wait.....  Looks like The Burger King is up to something.  Rabban has stepped into the ring as the legal man; but The Burger King has jumped outside and is sneaking over to the AL Corner.  

Body:

HE JUST GRABBED HIS WAKISACHI OUT FROM UNDER THE RING AND IS SNEAKING OVER TOWARDS THE OPPONENTS SIDE.  HE CAN'T DO THAT POGO.  I AM SO SICK OF THE NL AND THEIR CHEATING.  IT'S OUT OF HAND POGO AND YOU LOVE THIS STUFF YOU LITTLE WEASEL.  

Pogo:

I'm not sure what he is up to Jesse.  OH MY GOD!!  He just reached into the ring and pulled The nightbrother out by his ankles.  He is down on the outside mat; but The Nightbrother just jumped back to his feet.

Body:

THE BURGER KING JUST SLICED THE NIGHTBROTHER'S HEAD OF WITH THE WAKISACHI POGO.  WHAT A DAMN PSYCHOPATH!!  I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN ALL MY YEARS IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING.

Pogo:

Looks like The Juggernaut was ready to jump down and take care of it;But his teammate Foghorn Leghorn just held him back to tell him he has got this.  Foghorn just knocked the wakisachi out of the hands of The Burger King and has flung him back into the ring.  Foghorn is really giving it to The King now with a series of wicked slaps to the chest.  

Body:

THE KING IS DAZED NOW POGO.  THAT FOOL DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS OR WHERE HE IS AT.  FOGHORN IS COMING OFF THE ROPES AND GIVES THE SIGNAL TO THE CROWD FOR HIS FINISHER.

Pogo:  

He came off the ropes and knocked him down hard with a clothesline and now The Big Rooster himself is climbing onto the top rope and I think we may end up seeing his signature aerial leg drop.  Here he goes.......

Body:

HE HIT HIM WITH THE LEGHORN POGO.  NOBODY HAS EVER GOTTEN UP FROM THAT MOVE.  

Pogo:

Here comes the pin Jesse.  He isn't even going to bother hooking the leg, The Burger King is out.  

Referee:  

1, 2, .........

Body:

FOGHORN POPPED BACK UP ON PURPOSE BEFORE HE COULD GET THE THREE COUNT.  HE'S NOT DONE WITH HIM YET POGO.

Pogo:

The fans are going crazy Jesse.  I'm not sure what he is up to.  Looks like he is signaling towards The Burger King's crown.

Body:

HE'S PULLING THE CROWN OFF THE KING'S HEAD POGO........  HE'S GOT IT NOW!!

Pogo:

He is putting the crown on and just lightly putting one foot on the chest of The Burger King.

Body:

I THINK YOU MEAN BURGER PRINCE.  LOOKS LIKE FOGHORN IS KING OF THE RING NOW POGO.  HERE COMES THE COUNT:  1, 2, 3.  THAT'S AN EASY THREE COUNT AND THE BURGER NOTHING IS BEING PULLED OUT OF THE RING.  FOGHORN ISN'T GIVING BACK THAT CROWN POGO.  

Pogo:

Foghorn casually walks back to his corner and tags in Red Tornado, while Usagi Yojimbo takes the ring in place of The Burger.

Body:

THESE ARE TWO TACTICAL FIGHTERS HERE POGO.  THIS MAY BE INTERESTING.

Pogo:

They don't have much size; but these two are moving around the ring swiftly.  The aerial maneuvers are impressive; but neither one seems to be able to gain the upper hand.  

Body:

WHAT THE HELL IS MAKO DOING POGO??  HE KEEPS TALKING TO THE REF EVEN THOUGH HE ISN'T IN THE RING.  THE GUY WON'T SHUT UP.  

Pogo:

I think he might be trying to distract him Body.

Body:

THIS DAMN NL TEAM NEEDS TO QUIT CHEATING.  THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING POGO.  AND NOW MR. FUJI IS HANDING SOMETHING TO USAGI.  .............  WHAT?!!?  USAGI JUST THREW SOME SALT INTO THE OPTICS OF RED TORNADO.  HE JUST BLINDED HIM POGO.

Pogo:

The Ref has turned back around just in time to see Usagi deliver a double drop kick to Red Tornado and here comes the pin.  1,2, 3.......  The Tornado is out of this thing Jesse.

Body:

MORE CHEATING FROM THE NL POGO.  USAGI IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE POGO.  YOU KNOW WHAT TEAM HE IS FROM RIGHT??  LEAVE IT TO THE REDSKINS.....  THE WORST CHEATERS IN THE WHOLE FFL AND WWF PUT TOGETHER.  I CAN'T TOLERATE THOSE REDSKINS POGO.  

Pogo:

It looks like The AL Squad is furious Jesse.  They may have had enough of this.  Ajax Major is about to step in; but he looks back at Jimmy Hart who is shaking his head.  Like I said Jesse, I think they have had enough.  They are sending in The Juggernaut.  Juggs steps over the top rope and Usagi runs back to the corner; but nobody on his squad wants to tag in.  Juggernaut just grabbed Usagi by the ears and flung him down on the mat.  He picks him back up with one arm and, pulls him into position and delivers a pile driver to The Ronin Rabbit.  That's gonna be an easy three count Jesse.  Usagi is out of here.

Body:

SERVES THAT CHEATER RIGHT POGO.  

Pogo:

Everyone on the NL Squad looks scared to even come into the ring with Juggs; but Rabban steps in after Juggernaut gives a tag to Ajax.  

Body:  

AJAX SEEMS TO BE GETTING THE UPPER HAND POGO.  THE BEAST HEADS OVER TO THE ROPES AND TAGS IN BANE; BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE RABBAN WANTS TO LEAVE THE RING JUST YET.  THEY HIT HIM WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE AND AJAX IS DOWN POGO.  HERE COMES THE PIN FROM BANE AND NOW THE AL IS REALLY PISSED.

Pogo:

Juggernaut is back in the ring, while Foghorn and Hercules have jumped down and are moving towards the NL Side from the ground.  

Body:

HERCULES AND FOGHORN LEGHORN HAVE JUST PULLED RABBAN, BANE, AND MAKO DOWN AND ARE NOW THROWING THEM BACK INTO THE RING WITH JUGGERNAUT.  THEY EVEN THREW MR. FUJI IN THERE POGO.  

Pogo:

Juggernaut is taking on all four of them and just piling them up right in the center of the ring.  The whole NL Squad is down Jesse.

Body:

THE HIGH FIVES AND HUGS ARE FLYING BETWEEN HERCULES, JIMMY HART, AND MY BOY KING FOGHORN WHILE JUGGS PINS THEM ALL ONE BY ONE WITH THAT MASSIVE BODY AND THEN FLINGS THEM OUT OF THE RING LIKE RAGDOLLS.  

THIS MATCH IS OVER POGO