Final Season 2 B3 Press Conference

Vader:

After further discussion with the owner, on behalf of the B3 Team, I have been instructed to address the other owners in this great league.

First, we stand by the Commisioner's decision to limit his actions to only the suspension of Nickatu. The remaining issues have been decided by his eminence and we believe that for the good of the entire league, we must move on. Thus, we will not be requesting a vote of "no confidence." With that said, we wish to point out to all those who have read Nickatu's diatribe that the whimpy drivel spewed forth in his statement to the league justifies our allegations that he, I mean his human-self character Nick Houslander, would have never treated Belle like he did - he is too much of a wuss, I mean a "gentleman" to do so.

Second, it has come to our attention that one of our members continues to suffer from a substance abuse problem. His image was previously captured on an entertainment magazine's cover, although we at B3 deny the remaining characters depicted on said cover ,and continue to argue that the photograph was doctored by a jealous FFL member. [You know who you are Horatio Caine]. After looking at the matches and commentary throughout the year, it is evident that Pablo is in need of our help. We have recently learned that a doctor has been on private retainer, without the knowledge of either the owner, or any member of this team. Pablo's rash, vitriolic hyperbole spewed most recently toward Artifact, a fellow FFL team owner, is unacceptable and was the breaking point. Thus, Pablo has decided for the benefit of all involved to publicly apologize to Artifact and voluntarily seek help at an institution. We hope to see him ready and sober for next season.

Finally, we are shocked at the comments of a fellow AL comrade whom we once recognized as a friend commenting on another Watcher's frailty during his peyote-inspired hallucinations. Shame on you! You should understand that the only reason why you won this year is because our B3 team had to face The Lightbulb Thief's team before we had a chance to face you.

With all of the above said, we remain humbly indebted to this league for allowing us to voice our opinion's without having to face retribution. . .

-Vader

BBQ Message

Hi everybody, I am assuming that by Aug. 1st all of the bad blood will be cleared over this Consolation Match Controversy. Bryan was wondering if anybody else would be bringing anything to the BBQ. Bryan will be supplying the meat (all 3 inches of it) so if there is something else that people would like to bring just give him or I a call. I hope to see you all then.

-Josh the Commish.

Press Release by Nickatu

Dear members of the Fantasy Fantasy League,

I would like to help try and clear the air about the allegations brought up against me and the punishment that stemmed from it. The suit brought against me by Lord Vader was shocking to say the least. The fact that he thinks I fudged that match is completely ridiculous. It is also very hurtful to think that someone would question my moral fiber to the extent of saying I would cheat on a match. This allegation touches the very core of what makes this league so great but also so very vulnerable at the same time. If the integrity of this league or one of its watchers were to be compromised, I am afraid that it would no longer be able to function. Which is why I would like to say once and for all that I did not do anything wrong in that match. Sure, I was writing a character that had similar characteristics to me, but it was not me that was in the match. What you read is exactly what I saw in that match. It was a brutal match to watch and I was just as shocked on the outcome as everyone else was. Past that though, nothing else out of the ordinary happened.

As for the punishment of not being able to write, that is an understandable outcome for something as troubling as these allegations were against me. I understand that the commish must take his time reviewing this matter and if me not writing for a while helps calm this situation down, then I will gladly sit this one out for the better of the league.

I hope this will once and for all clear the air about the sour grapes, uh, I mean the allegations that were brought upon me last week by the Backyardigans. I hope that this has not tainted every ones opinion of me and I truly hope that the relationship between the league and its Watchers has not been harmed by this situation. Thank you all for listening and I will see you in 2010.

-Nickatu