The Doctors Madhouse are Paulus Atreides, Stilgar, Jamis, Umman Kudu, Dr. Manhattan, Silver Surfer, Captain Marvel, She-Hulk, Invincible, Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, and Allen The Alien, Hancock, Nazghul #2 w/ his Fell Beast, Ethan Hunt w/ Green Lantern Ring, and Kryptonians #1-2
Doctor's Madhouse: Saruman the White, Nazgul 2 w/ Mordor Horse, Elrond w/Elven Ring, Gimli w/Dwarf Ring 1, Frodo w/Dwarf Ring 2, Elf 1-10, Swamp Thing, Kyrptonian 1-3, Predator 1-13
Sigmaz: Malcom X w/Vibranium Suit and a Green Lightsaber, 10 Wakandan Soldiers, Aragorn, Nazgul w/Fell Beast, Eowyn w/Mordor Horse, Azula, Tai Lee, Mai, Eren Yaeger, Ted Kaczynski (The Unabomber) w/Ironman Suit, Snake Eyes, Wolf, A goblin w/AR15
Alright you pasty white boys let this match commence!
The smell of toes are in the air and Malcom X will sacrifice his life to find these toes. They must be the finest toes in the land one might think.
Malcom X takes a big ole whiff, "the toes. They must be here in these woods"\
Aragorn chimes in "I don't think going here is such a good idea", as he knows what is to come of this forest.
"We will be just fine" said Malcom X with a sort of nervous laughter.
Malcom X continues to pursue the sent of toes coming from this forest. The 10 Wakandan soldiers are sent out as scouts to make sure it is safe. As they enter the forest nothing is to be seen as it is about to be dawn. A slight fog fills the air and the sun is beginning to peak through.
"Dawn is here, let's advance now" said a Wakandan soldier.
Clicks began to sound off in the distance.
"What the hell was that said one of the Wakandan soldiers"
Out of no where the Wakandans are attacked by a group of Predators. The Wakandans begin to fight back but they don't stand a chance against the pack of Predators. As the fight continues screams are heard by the others who have not yet entered the forest. Malcom X screams "Yaeger! Do what these useless tech nerds can't accomplish.
Eren Yaeger instanly springs into the action. Flying from tree to tree like a monkey with his ODM gear. Snake Eyes and Wolf followed him into the forest but fell far behind because of the ODM gear. Eren quickly reaches the Wakandan Soldiers under attack by the predators. He quickly kills a few but gets over run as there is only one Wakandan Solider remaining.
"I need you to run or you are going to die" says Yaeger in a sinister tone
"These things will just catch me instantly. You only killed 3 of these bastards" said the lone Wakandan soldier.
"Suit yourself" Yaeger says as he cuts across the palm of his hand with a hook blade.
Lightning strikes and scream that could be heard a mile away goes off.
A beast appears before all the Predators.
It begins to attack all of the Predators. They sprung into action but their normal attacks had little to no effect on the beast. The beast eliminates all of the predators that stood before it with ease.
At the entrance of the forest Malcom X exclaims "That our queue. Lets ride"
The rest of the Sigmaz enter the forest only to find the dead bodies of Snake Eyes and Wolf with Gimli and Saruman standing near them.
They all stopped in their tracks as everyone knows the power of Saruman. Saruman quickly kills Azula, Tai Lee, and Mai.
"You avatar ain't shit compared to us Wizards. We are far cooler" laughs Saruman.
Aragorn leaps into help attacking Gimli. Once fought on the same side but that is in the past now. They both start to fight to the death while the others began to attack. Aragorn is able to over power Gimli.
"It's truly nice to see you old friend, but I'm afraid this must be our last time with each other." says Aragorn with tears in his eyes.
"Why Aragorn, we don't have to do this" yells Gimli
Aragorn while choking on his word says "It's Malcom X. He's to much of a bro. If I have to slay an old friend to stay with him I don't have a choice in the matter.
Aragorn proceeds to decapitate Gimli with a tear of shame in his eyes. He instantly regrets his decision he made. "I can't keep doing this" says Aragorn as he walks into the battlefield without his sword. He is quickly met with a stray right by Elrond who just joined the fight with the rest of his troops.
Doctor's Madhouse has now arrived on the scene with a full force of troops, but there are large footsteps in the distance.
"It's a monster! RUNNNNN!" screams Eowyn.
"That's no monster. That's Eren! We are saved!" yells Malcom X
The fight continues on as Yaeger quickly begins to wipe out the weaklings of the Madhouse team. Al that stands for Madhouse is Saruman, Elrond, and Frodo...... or so we thought
The Swamp Thing appears out of no where. Nazgul screeches are in there air as the two Nazgul are fighting while the two beasts battle it out. Swamp Thing and Yaeger are trading blows. Eren is slowly regenerating as steam starts to emit from his body. Madhouse has yet to figure out how to kill Eren. Until Elrond notices something. As a great leader he begins to notice something. The titan has been protecting his neck all fight.
As Elrond begins to get the attention of Saruman. He is shot in the chest by a Goblin with an AR15 standing next to the Unabomber.
Saruman quickly kills the Goblin and Unabomber and runs to the aid Elrond. Although there was no saving Elrond he was able to pass on the information about the Titans neck to Saruman.
Eren just got done bashing swamp things face in and is attacked by Saruman who knew to go for his neck. Eren realizes he underestimated the old wizard, but it was too late. He was able to open the back of his neck to see a lifeless teenager inside of the Titan.
Saruman went to return to where Madhouse came from but out of no where "Hey aren't you forgetting something" says Malcom X as he has Frodo in front of him with a Lightsaber to his neck.
"Hold on, give me back master Frodo" says Saruman.
but those were the last words Malcom X would ever hear.
Frodo decided to fight dirty like Jon Jones and was able to seperate from Malcom X and give him an oblique kick. Malcom quickly dropped the light saber as every ligament in his leg just tore. Frodo picks up the light saber and slashes Malcom X while screaming "YOU CAN NEVER HAVE THESE TOES BRUH"
The Underhills: Sauron w/ The One Ring, Blue Wizard #1-2, Radagast the Brown, Arwen Evenstar w/ Hadafang, Ent #1-3, Isildur, Riders of Rohan #1-5, Green Lantern #1-4, Blue Lantern #1-2, Grishnakh, T-Rex #1-2
Sigmas: Legolas of the Woodland Realm, Witch King of Angmar w/ Mordor Horse, Smaug, Griffith, Starscream, John Rambo, Gigachad w/ green Lightsaber, Tree Sentinel #1-4
Alrighty folks, we’re back with the reboot and what better way for Z to start his 2023 writing performances than in Mirkwood forest. Now let’s get on with it and zoom in on Legolas of the Woodland Realm hanging out in a tree of his home territory…
So Legolas is just sitting there… BBQ sauce on his titties, and bam! Isildur comes riding by with some Riders of Rohan, although they do not notice the elf hidden amongst the trees. Legolas, in a frenzy, wipes away the BBQ sauce and draws his bow. Without hesitation, he lets one fly right into the eyehole of Rider #5. Before Isildur can even call out for his men to take cover, another arrow is sent into the neck of Rider #2, and then immediately after Rider #3 goes down, as well. Meanwhile, Griffith had used his causal awareness powers to realize that lathering BBQ sauce on titties would naturally draw men towards Legolas’ yard. With this knowledge, Griffith was hiding nearby and now prances towards the remaining men and slices and dices Riders #1 and #4. Legolas draws his bow to take out Isildur, but Griffith waves a hand to mean he wants Isildur for himself. Isildur sizes Griffith up, and takes a jab, then another, and a big slash… Griffith dodged each attempt with ease. Isildur didn’t even notice Griffith make a move, but he realized much had happened when his torso slid off of his bottom half. Legolas calls for Griffith to retreat, and they return back to the rest of the Sigmas.
Dawn strikes on the Underhills’ camp, and Arwen notices that Isildur and his men have not returned from their scouting report. The team accepts that they are likely dead and now must push forward without the scouting information they wished for. They decide to let the T-Rexes move ahead of the group and try to trample and destroy whatever path they can on the road to Legolas’ home. As they near the Woodland Realm Fortress, the group stays hidden amongst the treeline while the T-Rexes make some noise. This draws out the dreaded Smaug and he starts to light everything on fire with his dragon breath. Smaug then does a drive-by on the T-Rexes who stood no chance. Fire begins to spread quickly and Green Lantern #3 and #4 are soon covered in flames. They yell out (imagine Tommy Boy describing it) “OH MY GOD WE’RE BURNING ALIVE! NOO, I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!” The other two Green Lanterns can do nothing other than say “Ohhh myyy Gawd.” Tree Sentinels #1-4, who were patrolling the area, were also caught in Smaug’s rage and perished in the flames. Quickly the two Green Lanterns retaliate along with the Blue Lanterns to try and take down Smaug. It takes a great deal of effort through the cost of Blue Lantern #1-2 and Green Lantern #2, but Smaug is defeated. Through the great dragon’s fire fiasco, Ent #1-3 are awakened and decide to join the Underhill company to get revenge for their once tree friends who are now nothing but ashes.
Arwen, leading the Underhills, notices the front gate is open and the bridge is down. She sees Legolas standing alone at the entrance. She decides it is best to enter the fortress there since it is nearly impossible otherwise. As they near, Legolas calls out “I figure it would be best to settle this in an all out duel. Let’s get this over with.” Arwen responds “my sentiments exactly.” Gigachad makes an appearance out of the castle and starts rushing the Underhills yelling “Bare knuckle box me right now!”, but Sauron lifts a finger and Gigachad gets smashed. The Underhills then start to advance as they are met with Legolas, Griffith, Rambo, and the Witch King of Angmar ahead of them.
Arwen leads the way and is met with Griffith in front of her. He wishes to test her true fighting abilities. Griffith again waits for Arwen to strike first, but unlike Isildur she does not. He smirks, and strikes quickly at Arwen knowing that his blade will strike her down. As he passes by her, his smirk dwindles and he feels a rather odd feeling. He looks down and notices a large gash across his torso, then looks back to Arwen in confusion. Arwen states “I am blessed with foresight, you were easy to see.” and Griffith’s body falls to the floor. Arwen immediately starts… Oh my gawd, she is wittlwe gwiddying on Gwiffith’s body right now (some of the boomers might not get this reference). Legolas, who has seen enough, decides to betray his allegiance to Aragorn, and he lets an arrow fly through the heart of Arwen.
Meanwhile, Starscream finally makes his appearance and flies from behind to take out the last Green Lantern, as well as Grishnakh. He attempts another fly by, but the Ents work together to grab the sentient metal being mid-air. As they bring him to the ground, Starscream blows up into a million pieces taking out the Ents with him (classic Michael Bay style). Soon after, the Witch King advances on his Mordor Horse and is able to make work of Blue Wizard #1 and #2. As he moves onto his next target, he realizes it is none other than Sauron himself. Out of fear, the Witch King quickly bows to the mighty Sauron. Sauron, disgusted with his top man, sends a crushing blow to the head and destroys the once King of man. At the same time, an explosion goes off and Sauron looks up to see his ally, Radagast, perish. John Rambo saw that he could not match the wizard’s power, but he could at least kamikazee it.
All that stands is the Dark Lord of Mordor towering over Legolas. Legolas wishes it had gone differently, he wishes that Middle Earth did not have to be destroyed by Sauron, but he sees there is no stopping it now, he’s too late. Sauron does not wish for there to be suffering, he only wishes to rule all things in Middle Earth. However, he knows Legolas would never side with him, so he does what he must.
Dolla 49 McRib: Darth Malak, Spectre, 4 balrogs, Dead Man of Dunharrow #1-10, Lucario, Alexander the Great w/ AR-10/SR-25, SR-25, 10 Navy Seals, 10 Mandalorians, Steppenwolf, Captain Steve Hiller in an F-18, 2 Brachiosaurus.
Trash Pandas: Gandalf the White, Nazgul w/ Fell Beast, Amon, Naruto, Zaheer, Ghazan, P’Li, Ming-Hua, Asguardian #1-2.
We start this match with the Trash Pandas, led by Gandalf, are journeying through the Mirkwood Forest. The Nazgul is on his Fell Beast up above the Forest scouting ahead looking for any danger. While the rest of the team is following behind Gandalf. All of a sudden, a loud scream comes from the Ringwraith in the skies as he sees what appears to be some sort of aircraft in the distance. The Trash Pandas all get into defensive positions and then are ambushed by the McRibs. The Trash Pandas take cover behind trees and rocks of the forest as Alexander the Great, Navy Seals, and the Mandalorians rain fire on them.
After a few minutes of firing from the McRibs, Amon and the other benders get bored and decide to retaliate. Amon uses his Blood Bending abilities to control the Navy Seals and have them shoot each other, killing them all. Ghazan uses his earth and lava bending abilities to turn some of the earth of Mirkwood Forest into lava and launches it at the Mando’skilling 5 of them. P’Li uses her Cumbustionbending abilities to launch powerful fire blasts killing the rest of the Mandalorians and Lucario. The Nazgul and his Fell Beast then swoop down and pick up Alexander the Great and throw him across the forest, killing him on impact. The Nazgul then uses his Fell Beast to rip its claws into the eyes of one of the Brachiosaurus and then bites the head of the other Brachiosaurus, this kills both of the prehistoric creatures. Captain Steve Hiller retaliates and shoots the Fell Beast down, the Nazgul dies from the fall.
The rest of the Trash Pandas decide to finally go on the attack against the McRibs. Naruto goes to use his martial arts abilities against the Dead Men of Dunharrow. He did not realize that he would not be able to do any damage against the Army of the Dead. The Army of the Dead kills Naruto with ease. The Army of the Dead then rushes to the two Asguardians and kills them with a flurry of swords while stampeding them. P’Li sees that her team is getting dismantled by the Army of the Dead and uses her Combustionbending abilities to kill the Oathbreakers.
Four Balrogs appear from behind the trees and start to wreak havoc on the Trash pandas. The Balrogs use their swords and whips wreathed in flame to considerable damage to their opponents. One Balrog uses its whip to grab Zaheer and bring him close and then uses its sword to cut the Red Lotus leader in half. Ming-Hua uses her water bending abilities to grab water from the nearby stream and drench two of the Balrogs causing their internal flame to extinguish, weakening them. Gandalf the White calls for a lightning strike onto his sword Glamdring, empowering it, he stabs his sword through the chest of one of the Balrogs and then calls for a lightning strike onto the other Balrog, killing both of them. The remaining benders team up to take out the rest of the Balrogs. They launch a flurry of earth and water until they are both dead.
A flurry of rounds is shot from the sky from an F-18 manned with Captain Steve Hiller, he hits Ming-Hua, killing her. Steve Hiller turns around and goes for another strafe run but he is met with a combination of Gandalf’s Lightning Strike and a combustionbending blast from P’Li. Darth Malak finally decides to join the battle. Ghazan throws parts of earth towards Malak but he deflects it with ease using the Force. P’Li shoots a blast of combustion at the sith lord but he absorbs it and immediately deflects it back at P’Li with ease. Malak then uses his Drain Life ability to suck the soul out of Ghazan. Amon uses his blood bending to control Malak and causes him to stab himself in the chest with his own lightsaber. Spectre and Amon show up to help the McRibs defeat the remaining Trash Pandas. Spectre immediately kills Amon with ease to avenge all the innocent lives Amon has killed over his life. Steppenwolf goes to attack Gandalf with a swing of his ax but Gandalf blocks it using his Shield of Ustari. Gandalf calls for a lighting strike onto Steppenwolf temporarily stunning him. Gandalf then combos him with a blast of flame from his staff and then strikes him with Glamdring. This weakens the New God but he retaliates with a swing from his ax and breaks Gandalf’s sword, Glamdring. Gandalf calls for the Flame of Udun and slams the bottom of his staff into Steppenwolf’s chest, blowing him up into a million pieces.
All that’s left on the battlefield is Spectre for the McRibs and Gandalf the White for the Trash Pandas. No words are said between the two, Gandalf slowly nods his head out of respect and he shoots a fire blast with his staff onto Spectre killing him.
Spectre knew about Gandalf and the many good deeds and sacrifices he had done for Middle Earth. He knew that Gandalf was put on Middle Earth by Era Ilûvatar with the one purpose of defending Middle Earth, Spectre being the Agent of Wrath and vengeance for God, he could do no harm to Gandalf as there was nothing that Gandalf had done that would cause for there to be vengeance. Spectre understood that he couldn’t hurt Gandalf so he gave himself up.
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