Week 4 Democracy: George Washington's House Elves vs Affirmative Action Popeye's

House Elves: Dr. Octopus, Mysterio, Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, Vulture, Iron Man, Predi-Alien (final death), Uranus, Saturn, M. Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog, Zangief, Mangy Mouse, Zaheer, Kister, Wald, Han Solo and Chewbacca in Chris's Firespray 31, Luke Skywalker in Lukes Stealth X-Wing, Captain Rex In a Umbarian Starfighter, Captain Kirk, Captain Picard, Mr. Spock, Rom, Quark, Wesley Crusher, Commander Ryker, and Zulu all in Galvatrons Ship, 4-Lom, Zuckess, Dash Rendar, Leebo, Captain Panaka, Finn, Admiral Piett, and Dark Helment in The Endurance.

Popeyes: Cyclonus in Cyclonus' Armanda, A-3, Twin Cast, Fast-Foward, Autoboot Cassette #1-3, Voldemort w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Black Lantern Emperor Palpatine, Revan Rebron in an A-Wing, Darth Vader in a TIE Interceptor, Forest Gump w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Exitar The Exterminator, T-1000, T-2, Bastilla Shan and Jolee Bindu in Ethan's B-Wing, Jack Reacher w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Sarge, Simmons, Grif, Donut, and Lopez, and Dark Trooper #1.

Crack Danks vs Triple A Week 3

 Crack Danks - Taka (Sasuke, Jugo, Karin, Suigetsu), Jason Voorhies* w/ Red Lantern Ring, The Chicken w/ Force Saber, Qui-Gon Jinn, Taskmaster, Apollo*, Godzilla, Ultraman, Jaws (2), Jaws (3), TMNT (Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, Michelangelo), Flying Monkeys #1-#8

AAA - Avatar Korra, Katara w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Desna, Eska, Poseidon, Vampire Poseidon, Martian Manhunter*, Jaws, Kit Fisto, Cetus, Cloverfield Monster, Vampire Captain Marvel*, Zombie #16*, Zombie #17*

Crack Danks sent Flying Monkeys #1-#8 in the morning to scout ahead AAA’s entrenched position. Using cloud cover and the sun to hide their movements they got close enough to observe their defenses and began the fly back to the rest of the squad, but the weather conditions became unfavorable and were they were spotted. The Assassins began hurling water at the scouts and we all know wings+water=problems, and they suffered heavy losses as they fell down and *SPLAT* 

Lucky #7 was the only survivor and with his allies acting as acceptable casualties it got enough distance to avoid enemy fire. Exhausted and shellshocked, the undefined gendered monkey made it back to the forward base and frantically informed them of what was ahead before falling asleep. The mission was to eliminate the Moon and Ocean Spirits to take away AAA’s tactical advantage. Crack Danks planned to launch an assault on the main defenses while Taka with Qui-Gon snuck past and took out the spirits. 

This strategy was not lost on AAA and they took precautions to protect the spirits. Sasuke summoned his Hawk, Garuda, and the strike team began the flight around the defenses. Under the ice Godzilla, Jaws 2, and Jaws 3 moved forward to disrupt the AAA position from beneath. Waiting for them was Poseidon, Cetus, and Jaws were lurking in the deep. The three sharks were in a frenzy and it became difficult to tell which shark was winning. Not wanting to risk killing a teammate both sides refrained from getting involved. Cetus sprang forward for Godzilla and attempted to wrap around his neck. Godzilla dove deeper to separate Cetus from Poseidon, but Poseidon had confidence in his sea monster and sent a current to take them even deeper, if not to at least keep Godzilla out of battle.

Back on the surface the rest of Crack Danks were unaware of the happenings under them and became concerned on how they should proceed with the assault. It was now midday and if the night began and the spirits were still alive, they would surely be destroyed. Apollo decided to take charge and begin the battle while they still had the Sun on their side. Crack Danks began shelling the AAA defenses as they moved forward. Jason, The Chicken, Taskmaster, Apollo, Ultraman, and the Ninja Turtles settled into a forward position and were looking for an opening. The Cloverfield Monster came crashing down on them, crushing The Chicken, Michelangelo, and Raphael. Ultraman grew into a giant and started to fight the monster to keep the rest of his team alive. 

Poseidon went to check on the frenzy where things were still unclear. Springing from the bloody murk came Jaws 3, who had claimed victory over Jaws, and the shark darted right at Poseidon. Poseidon dove straight through the beast with his trident, tearing a whole to the other side. From the depths came, floating up, bits of monster. Poseidon looked below and noticed a strange glow which seemed to be getting brighter. A large beam then disintegrated the God and broke through the ice on the surface destroying some of the AAA defensive walls. Back on land, the rest of Crack Danks could see this was their opportunity to engage the rest of the Assassins. Channeling the Sun, Apollo blinded the defenders as the remainder of the Crack Danks squad moved forward. 

Upon entering the main encampment fierce fighting began. Apollo and Jason decided that they were best suited to face off against Avatar Korra and Katara, while Taskmaster and the Turtles were to take out Densa and Eska. Taskmaster was able to keep up with Densa for the most part, both moving with extreme agility, but the Turtles were quickly out matched by Eska and were trapped in ice with ease by the experienced water bender. It has seemed that Task Master was slowly being pushed to the edge by Densa, but he was merely observing what he had. Mustering his strength he changed his attack pattern and turned the fight on its head. Eliminating Densa, Task Master tried to catch his breath, but Eska had come looking for her brother and froze his feet to the floor. She then ruthlessly got her revenge on Task Master and moved out to help the others. 

Taka was, by now, infiltrating the Spirit Cave, but Karin and Qui-Gon could sense that there was a force waiting to stop them. On the way Zombies 16 and 17 jumped out from the darkness and were quickly cut down. As they entered the Sprit Oasis, Kit Fisto, Martian Manhunter, Vampire Poseidon, and Vampire Captain Marvel were waiting for them, springing from their cover. Qui-Gon and Kit Fisto began a tense lightsaber duel of epic proportions, even rivaling the duel of fates. Suigetsu jumped into the water and tried to rush the spirit fish, but Vampire Poseidon was able to control the water he was in to make him ineffective. Captain Marvel targeted Karin, sensing she was pretty weak in combat and Jugo extended his flesh to protect her. Sasuke shot a fireball in the direction of Captain Marvel and she was able to dodge it, but this also made the Martian Manhunter frightened. 

Ultraman was sufficiently keeping The Cloverfield Monster out of battle, but it was pretty even. Eska came to break the stalemate and began freezing Ultraman’s joints which made openings for CM (we calling it CM now). CM stabbed Ultraman through his center and his body fell off the edge of the ice, sinking into the abyss. As they turned to return to their allies, Godzilla jumped out of the water and grabbed CM dragging it back in with him. Eska could do little now and moved back to the others. Apollo and Jason were both in heated battle. The Greek God had underestimated his opponent, but he soon found the power of the Avatar to be too much for him and was merely stalling for time. Eska appeared and stabbed him in the back. Jason was surrounded and put into a rage only matched by a 1950’s suburban dad when his wife slightly over cooks dinner by the death of all his friends.

Jason went on the offensive and never gave anyone time to breathe. He grabbed Eska and caved her head in with his bare hands. Jason gained in strength as the battle went on, but so did Katara as her allies fell. Katara told Korra to go find out what happened in the Spirit Cave while she took care of Jason. After an overly ham-fisted and forced women power scene that made me cringe so hard I couldn’t watch., Jason was dead. Katara then walked to the edge to see what happened to the Cloverfield Monster only to find it floating at the surface with no Godzilla. From the giant hole he made earlier, Godzilla jumped out and proceeded to destroy the city, because big monster.

Back in the cave, Sasuke, used Amaterasu setting the Martian Manhunter ablaze and he began frantically trying to put it out. Vampire Poseidon pushed a huge wave towards the Manhunter and the rest of Taka, who evaded. When the water subsided the Assassins looked on in terror as the black flames continued to burn through their efforts. Eventually the screams subsided and the corpse of the Martian Manhunter continued to burn into ash. Captain Marvel quickly moved to attack Jugo and Karin again, attempting to find retribution for her team. Jugo was knocked back and Karin was wide open for the kill. By now the floor was covered in a thin layer of water and Sasuke seeing the turning battle decided it was time for drastic measures. He balanced on his sword and sent a strong electrical current through it heavily damaging his enemies but also his friends, and killing Suigetsu. 

Qui-Gon and Kit Fisto had been going at it for a while now and the two were getting tired. Seeing an opportunity to move on his opponent Fisto changed his combat style and killed his old friend. Sasuke moved to take advantage of his enemies weakened state he cut off Captain Marvel’s head in a single cut and moved at Poseidon. Fisto had returned to the other battle and stabbed Jugo while he lay on the ground. Poseidon knew there was little he could do against Sasuke’s raw ability and died like a champion, receiving a Chidori to the heart. Now all that stood in Sasuke’s way was the fish man and he was extremely exhausted. Sasuke attacked with speed and variety and the Jedi Master soon fell. Sasuke now stood over the fish and pondered for a moment what he was about to do. Then he got over it and made some fish fry. The Avatar was caused a ton of pain by this and Sasuke could hear her down the tunnel behind him. He set out to finish her off and found her agonizing on the floor before finishing the job. 

Emerging from the caves, Katara met Sasuke as they watched Godzilla destroy the city. Katara had lost her bending but still had the Ring and Sasuke knew there was little he could do against that space magic on his own. He ran over to Godzilla dodging attacks the whole way. He then put his armor over Godzilla making him almost invincible. Without her bending, she could see that there was little to gain in fighting. As the blood moon rose, Godzilla let out a large roar before hitting Katara with its Atomic Breath, which Sasuke followed up with his sword.

Week 3: Chick-fil-a vs. Democracy of Tall Folks

 That Chicken Place: Cyclops, Jean Grey (4 death), Archangel, Beast, Ice Man, Revan Reborn, The Night King, White Walkers #1-5 (#1-3 4 death), Dr. Doom, Bastilla Shan, Jolee Bindu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sando Aqua Monster, Jaws 4, Gandalf the White, Sebastian Shaw, Jedi Youngling #3.

Evil Shorties: Ocean Master (4 death), Aqualad, Phibian #1-20 (16 of them 4 death), Miss Martian, Tomar Tu (4 death), Queen Alien, Squirtle, Piplup w/ Ice Flower, Juliette Ferrars w/ Red Lantern Ring, Supergirl, Captain Marvel, Mr. Freeze, Sub-Zero, and Captain Pike pilots a Submarine w/ Ancient One, Great Pumpkin, Captain Cold (4 death), and Lazarus Long

Welcome to the Northern Water Tribe, home of water bending bip bappers who like it a bit colder. It’s the perfect place for the Popeyes to set up shop, particularly the Night King and his White Walkers who think this is their territory. Cyclops, of course, steps in flopping his dick around talking about how he’s the leader and this is his operation. Dr Doom couldn’t care less and blows raspberry and calls him a red eyed freak. The rest of the group settles in to rest. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Gandalf the White, men of wisdom, naturally find their way to Tui and La to meditate in peace. Meanwhile, the Sando Aqua Monster and Jaws 4 lurk in the shallower waters surrounding the southern border of the tribe.

The Evil Empire is so evil in its evilness that it evily sneaks up to be evil upon their enemies in a very evil way of them. The water characters, you know who I’m talking about, slowly make their approach from the south in the calm waters of the night towards the entrance of the tribe. Supergirl, Captain Marvel, Mr. Freeze, and Sub-Zero are able to withstand the ungodly cold that lies north of the tribe and use it as their flank passage.

As dawn emerges and light begins to set foot across the icy lands, Evil Midgets water peeps reach land and travel through the canals of the city remaining stealthy and unnoticed. The Submarine stays put at the entrance to keep watch. Jaws 4 finally notices the resting Submarine and rams into it. The oversized shark continues to hit it over and over causing small leaks to form, Ancient One tries to use her magic to keep the water at bay and not sink the ship. Her efforts are futile as there is always a bigger fish and the Sando Aqua Monster steps in and swallows the Submarine whole, along with Jaws 4.

Meanwhile, the stealthy Phibians go to work on the sleeping Popeyes and slits the throats of Bastilla Shan, Jolee Bindo, White Walkers #4-5, and Jedi Youngling #3. Although, the rest of the attempts are failed and it's enough to awaken the Popeyes, specifically Dr. Doom who uses his power to destroy all 20 Phibians at once. Ocean Master, Aqualad, and Miss Martian retreat to the open waters where they fight the Sando Aqua Monster and come out victorious but at the cost of Miss Martian’s life. Queen Alien works on the remaining White Walkers and NIght King with the help of Squirtle and Piplup. Squirtle uses BubbleBeam to kill White Walkers #2-3. Piplup uses Blizzard in an attempt to freeze them in place but instead only freezes Squirtle and himself while its effects are mute on the White Walker and Night King. They make quick work of the Pokemon but not for long as Queen Alien steps down and smushes the cold king and his boy.

The Evil Shorties’ flank comes up to Obi-Wan Kenobi and Gandalf the White. Captain Marvel, in her arrogance, demands the old dude steps out of their way so they can mess up some chicken workers. Gandalf smirks and with the wave of his staff removes Captain Marvel from living. Mr. Freeze and Sub-Zero make a quick counter which freezes the old man before he could move out of the way. Supergirl shoots a laser beam at Obi-Wan but he deflects it straight back to her and injures her. Again, the cold duo shoot ice at the Jedi Master which he cannot do anything about. Supergirl and the cold guys continue their flank with one less party member.

Tomar Tu and Juliette Ferrars gather up with Queen Alien and move in on Sebastain Shaw and Dr. Doom. The combined might of a green lantern ring and red lantern ring is too much energy for Sebastian Shaw to absorb and he implodes. Dr. Doom couldn’t be bothered by these meaningless characters and wipes away the three Evil Short Peeps. Ocean Master and Aqualad finally return to battle and Ocean Master slices Revan Reborn with his dope trident.

All that remains is the X-men squad and Dr. Doom against Ocean Master, Aqualad, Supergirl, Mr. Freeze, Sub-Zero. Cyclops sends a laser beam at Supergirl but she meets him with her own which is much more powerful and instantly goes back through his head. Mr. Freeze shoots an ice blast towards Ice Man but is met with exactly an equal force, although this isn’t a fair game and Sub-Zero gives the edge to overcome Ice Man. Jean Grey is losing her team too fast and she can’t control it. She decides to let loose all her energy and ends up dissolving everything around her. The only ones able to withstand the power are Dr. Doom, Ocean Master, and Aqualad. In her moment of weakness, Ocean Master moves quickly and stabs his trident through her chest, similar feeling to the end of X-Men: Last Stand. And no, that's not a spoiler because that movie sucks, so it’s allowed to be spoiled. Dr. Doom stands alone and begins a maniacal laughter at the water broskis. Although, this is their water territory and they swarm the evil Doctor with water and force him to drown.

S13 Week 3: 2 Hungry Dinomites vs Red Garter Guardians

The Hungry Dinomites are:  Kingdom Come Aquaman, Avatar Kyoshi, Avatar Wan, Avatar Roku, Atrocitus , The Incredible Hulk, Bub, Bob, Bib, Beb, Randy Marsh, Mr. Mackey, Captain Tarpals, Bowser, Dark Link, Kingdom Come Power Woman, Nahdar Vebb, Axe Cop and Wexler, Red Wing

The Red Garter Guardians are: The Q Continuum:  (Q, Q2, Lady Q, Colonel Q, q, & Quinn), Navy SEAL #2-20, Hancock (final death), Maxima (final death), Amon (Avatar), Shore Trooper #1-10, Kyle and Conner, Orc #1, 17-29, Daenerys Targaryen & her Dragon, Storm Trooper #1-43, Padme Amidala in a TIE Bomber

Our battle begins in the Northern Sea area of the Northern Water Tribe. The guardians have stationed their Navy Seals and Storm Troopers on large floating ice shelves spread out across the surface. The Shore Troopers are obviously on the shore. They went fishing and are trying to start a fire so they can cook up this large white koi fish they caught. The Orcs are snarling and patrolling a little further back from shore, being both afraid of water and fire. Kyle and Connor are riding the backs of Orcs #1 and 17, Merry and Pippin style.

For the opposition, the Dinomites have placed Marsh, Mackey, Tarpals, Dark Link, Nahdar Vebb, Axe Cop, Wexler and Red Wing also on ice floats. The Guardians begin to open fire on the Dinomites. Tarpals starts tossing boombas and and Nahdar Vebb is redirecting storm trooper blasts with ease. Randy Marsh is relaxing with a nice pipe full of Tegridy Farms finest herb. The water under the stormtroopers begins to bubble violently from Bib, Bob, Bub and Beb who are under the surface. This causes several of the stormtroopers to fall into the water and drown. Dark Link and Red Wing take shots at the Navy Seals but they are cut down along with Tarpals and Mr. Mackey takes one to the dome as well. Mmm-kaaaay.

Vebb jumps over to a group of stormtroopers and is able to take out most of them before q and Quinn appear out of thin air, something Vebb could not have foreseen with the force. He is caught off guard and is disarmed and killed by his own lightsaber. Daenerys, seeking an end to this squabble, flies through and orders her dragon to just torch the surface of the water, sacrificing many of her teammates to take out the remaining Dinomites. 

On the shore, The Orcs and Shoretroopers have already been fighting against Power Woman, Bowser, Atrocitus, and the Incredible Hulk. Power Woman is overrun in the battle and Bowser dies when he falls into the campfire. The two giant beasts are able to make short work of the Orcs and Troopers when the Mother of Dragons is circling around for another pass at them. Kyoshi is able to earth bend a pillar directly into the heart of the dragon, killing him instantly and sending the Breaker of Chains falling with no one to save her. 

Amon summons all of his powers to blood bend Atrocitus into unconsciousness. Hancock flys in at this moment and does the superhero one knee landing onto his head, killing the beast. Maxima is quick to follow and takes on the Hulk. Hancock joins in and the two are too big of a match for the angry fellow no matter how much he tried to smash. By this time, Avatars Wan and Roku have come to assist and Wan finishes off Hancock with a fire blast while Roku defeats Maxima by using a channel of air to launch the corpse of Boswer into Hancock, impaling him with his spiny shell. The look back further on the shore to see Amon who has just finished removing the powers from Kyoshi after restraining him in a mound of rock. As Wan and Roku rush to attack, they are met with the remining members of the Q continuum. They are able to take out Lady Q and Colonel Q but Q and Q2 teleport the duo into space killing themselves to take out the powerful Avatars. 

Kyoshi hears a towering wave behind him and turns around to see Aquaman riding on top of it with his trident poised to strike. A flurry of blaster shots rain down from the sky as Padme is sweeping by in a Tie Bomber. Quick thinking Aquaman decides to instead send a wall of water to the sky, sending the ship flailing. It lands violently on the shore, killing Padme inside and sending the body of the ship tumbling down the beach until it eventually crushes Amon and the unconscious Kyoshi.

Week 3: The Striders of Rohan vs The Misunderstood Little People

 Striders are Aquaman, Fastitocalon, Water Bender #3, Visas Marr, Red Lantern Mera, Kingdom Come Batman, Kingdom Come Steel, Kingdom Come Green Lantern, Kingdom Come Kid Flash, Kingdom Come Knightstar, Kingdom Come Green Arrow, Oroku Hiroto, Baron Mordo, Brother Blood, Liu Kang, Scorpion, Black Lightning, Your Ole Lady, Knull, Fish Dancer #1-10

Midgets are Water Bender #2, Allicon #1-5, Joan Jett in a Frog Suit, Mimic, Abe Sapien, The Little Mermaid, Seaspray, Meggan, Don Rickles in a Penguin Suit, Snout Spout, The Lochness Monster, Sharkticon #1A and #1B, Black Lantern Sharkticon, Vampire Sharkticon, Yoda w/ a White Lantern Ring & a Dwarf Ring #5, Chip and Dr Ub’x, Larry w/ Dwarf Ring #2, Mighty Moussette, Jet Jaquar, Mighty Mouse, Chian, Air Bender #1-3, Harambe, an Aircraft Carrier, and DA BIG BENITO

The Striders team is already set up on the island as the non-flyers and non lantern users of the little people approach from the south on their aircraft carrier. Defending the Striders in front of the icy walls of the tribe, Fastitocalon swallows the air craft carrier whole killing Jet Jaguar, Chian, Air Benders #1-3, Harambe, Snout Spout, and the Allicons who were trying to approach sneakily from underneath the carrier, Mimic who was also on the carrier managed to copy Green Lanterns Ring onto her own finger just in time, to fly out and throw an energy axe into the giant turtle perishing everyone in the area but her. 

Larry, not caring at all about what just went down, races ahead of the team when he sees knightstar and starts asking her hundreds of questions about her dad that she eventually commits suicide because he is just so annoying. Larry forgets about the mission and realizes what his real motive in life is, resuming his search for Dick Grayson. 

The Big Benito Jumps out of a pizza portal and slits Brother Bloods throat then stabs Scorpion in the back. Then he grabs Scorpions chain and throws it into Liu Kangs head, decapitating him as he pulls it back. The Big Benito stands over the 3 dead bodies absolutely SUFFERIN from the 10 whole big benitos he just ate because he’s not a fag like Kyle. He gets so bored that he grabs Kyle Houslander through the fourth wall of reality and starts beating the crap out of him for fun. 

Yoda, soaring on the lochness monster rushes into the island, jumps 50 feet into the air and throws his lightsaber into Black Lightnings skull killing him and landing a perfect superhero landing. Batman, attempting to kill yoda, throws 3 explosive battarangs into the lochness monster thus killing him. The Little Mermaid and Meggan come in attempting to assist yoda but are stopped in their tracks. The Little Mermaid realizes she wants to be Lesbian but then gets depressed and drowns herself, and Meggan is too busy reading what Marvel tards on facebook have to say about her as she catches a steel hammer to the head from Steel Superman.

The 4 Sharkticons charge after Baron Mordo but he creates a portal to send them to another dimension, but catches a sharkticon head that only halfway made it through the portal. 

Yoda continues his massacre of the Striders by outshining Knulls darkness with his White Lantern Ring, easily outdueling Visas Marr, and chopping the limbs off of the Fish Dancers. Then he runs into Aquaman. Aquaman begins to throw tidal waves into yoda disabling his lightsaber and also his vision, This allows Mera to come up from behind and knock him unconscious as he is driven into the surrounding water and drowned. Just like she did Johnny Depp. 

Chip, Dr. Ub’x, and Mimic attempt to over power KIngdom Come Green Lantern with their own Lantern Rings ending in a massive explosion killing all four of them. 

Mighty Mouse and Moussette team up on Kingdom Come Steel trading punches and eventually sending him to oblivion right before Batman and Mera show the superman copies whos boss. 

Aquaman is done with waiting on his companions to finish the battle as him and the water bender get rid of Joan Jett, Seaspray, Don Rickles, the little peoples remaining water benders, and Abe Sapien who is serving the striders under Aquamans control and killed. 

The Big Benito sees he is the only remaining little person left so he takes his attention away from a bloodied Kyle Houslander that he’s been tossing around for the past 45 minutes to evaluate the situation. He stands across from Aquaman, Water Bender #3, Red Lantern Mera, Batman, Green Arrow, Oroku Hiroto, and Literally Your Ole’ Lady approaching them thinking he has a chance because he is Just that guy. But before they can, In Kyles dying breath he throws a punch that JUST catches the Big Bad Benito, and proves that his arms are indeed long enough, he just refuses to put in the effort. 

I couldn’t really hear what he said but im pretty sure Kyles last words were “I didnt hear no bell”.

Week 3 Consortium: George Washingtons House Elves vs TEAM

 House Elves: Dr. Octopus, Mysterio, Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, Vulture, Harry Potter, Cicada, Firelord Sozin, Captain Rex, Wild Men #1, George Washington, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Louie, Duey, Kanga, Roo, Snake Plisken, The Monkguin, M.Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog, Skimmell, Lucca Brazzi, Zaheer, Waterbender #1, Waterbender #2, and Waterbender #5

TEAM: Emerald Weapon, Sharkticon #5-10, Cy-Kill, Crasher, Cop-Tor, Red Ranger Chris Artrip, Pink Ranger Julie Artrip, Yellow Ranger Ella Artrip, Blue Ranger Jack Artrip, Black Ranger Ben Artrip, Brightburn, Scorpononk, Lord Zarack, Fasttrack, Six Shot, Nightbird, Sunstorm, Reflector Left, Reflector Middle