Week 3: The Striders of Rohan vs The Misunderstood Little People

 Striders are Aquaman, Fastitocalon, Water Bender #3, Visas Marr, Red Lantern Mera, Kingdom Come Batman, Kingdom Come Steel, Kingdom Come Green Lantern, Kingdom Come Kid Flash, Kingdom Come Knightstar, Kingdom Come Green Arrow, Oroku Hiroto, Baron Mordo, Brother Blood, Liu Kang, Scorpion, Black Lightning, Your Ole Lady, Knull, Fish Dancer #1-10

Midgets are Water Bender #2, Allicon #1-5, Joan Jett in a Frog Suit, Mimic, Abe Sapien, The Little Mermaid, Seaspray, Meggan, Don Rickles in a Penguin Suit, Snout Spout, The Lochness Monster, Sharkticon #1A and #1B, Black Lantern Sharkticon, Vampire Sharkticon, Yoda w/ a White Lantern Ring & a Dwarf Ring #5, Chip and Dr Ub’x, Larry w/ Dwarf Ring #2, Mighty Moussette, Jet Jaquar, Mighty Mouse, Chian, Air Bender #1-3, Harambe, an Aircraft Carrier, and DA BIG BENITO

The Striders team is already set up on the island as the non-flyers and non lantern users of the little people approach from the south on their aircraft carrier. Defending the Striders in front of the icy walls of the tribe, Fastitocalon swallows the air craft carrier whole killing Jet Jaguar, Chian, Air Benders #1-3, Harambe, Snout Spout, and the Allicons who were trying to approach sneakily from underneath the carrier, Mimic who was also on the carrier managed to copy Green Lanterns Ring onto her own finger just in time, to fly out and throw an energy axe into the giant turtle perishing everyone in the area but her. 

Larry, not caring at all about what just went down, races ahead of the team when he sees knightstar and starts asking her hundreds of questions about her dad that she eventually commits suicide because he is just so annoying. Larry forgets about the mission and realizes what his real motive in life is, resuming his search for Dick Grayson. 

The Big Benito Jumps out of a pizza portal and slits Brother Bloods throat then stabs Scorpion in the back. Then he grabs Scorpions chain and throws it into Liu Kangs head, decapitating him as he pulls it back. The Big Benito stands over the 3 dead bodies absolutely SUFFERIN from the 10 whole big benitos he just ate because he’s not a fag like Kyle. He gets so bored that he grabs Kyle Houslander through the fourth wall of reality and starts beating the crap out of him for fun. 

Yoda, soaring on the lochness monster rushes into the island, jumps 50 feet into the air and throws his lightsaber into Black Lightnings skull killing him and landing a perfect superhero landing. Batman, attempting to kill yoda, throws 3 explosive battarangs into the lochness monster thus killing him. The Little Mermaid and Meggan come in attempting to assist yoda but are stopped in their tracks. The Little Mermaid realizes she wants to be Lesbian but then gets depressed and drowns herself, and Meggan is too busy reading what Marvel tards on facebook have to say about her as she catches a steel hammer to the head from Steel Superman.

The 4 Sharkticons charge after Baron Mordo but he creates a portal to send them to another dimension, but catches a sharkticon head that only halfway made it through the portal. 

Yoda continues his massacre of the Striders by outshining Knulls darkness with his White Lantern Ring, easily outdueling Visas Marr, and chopping the limbs off of the Fish Dancers. Then he runs into Aquaman. Aquaman begins to throw tidal waves into yoda disabling his lightsaber and also his vision, This allows Mera to come up from behind and knock him unconscious as he is driven into the surrounding water and drowned. Just like she did Johnny Depp. 

Chip, Dr. Ub’x, and Mimic attempt to over power KIngdom Come Green Lantern with their own Lantern Rings ending in a massive explosion killing all four of them. 

Mighty Mouse and Moussette team up on Kingdom Come Steel trading punches and eventually sending him to oblivion right before Batman and Mera show the superman copies whos boss. 

Aquaman is done with waiting on his companions to finish the battle as him and the water bender get rid of Joan Jett, Seaspray, Don Rickles, the little peoples remaining water benders, and Abe Sapien who is serving the striders under Aquamans control and killed. 

The Big Benito sees he is the only remaining little person left so he takes his attention away from a bloodied Kyle Houslander that he’s been tossing around for the past 45 minutes to evaluate the situation. He stands across from Aquaman, Water Bender #3, Red Lantern Mera, Batman, Green Arrow, Oroku Hiroto, and Literally Your Ole’ Lady approaching them thinking he has a chance because he is Just that guy. But before they can, In Kyles dying breath he throws a punch that JUST catches the Big Bad Benito, and proves that his arms are indeed long enough, he just refuses to put in the effort. 

I couldn’t really hear what he said but im pretty sure Kyles last words were “I didnt hear no bell”.