Democracy Week 9 The Super Kitties of Luna vs John and Vaders House of Sith Aids

The Super Kitties of Luna are Raven and Samus

John and Vaders House of Sith Aids are IG-88, Dengar, and Rex

S11 W8: TEAM vs Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

TEAM is: Wheel Jack, Hound, Sunstreaker, Hubcap, Cliff Jumper, Earthworm Jim, KC Munchkin, Mr. Methane, Jack Artrip (w/ Raccoon Leaf) and Ewok #7

Assassins are: Grandmaster Luke Skywalker, Legends Leia Organa Solo, R2D2, C3PO, Dakka, Aragorn, Ahsoka Tano (Fulcrum), Elf #6-20, Orc #1-16

The first wave of the attack is from the Assassins as they send the bullet catchers in first to do their damage. All the Elves and Orcs along with Dakka are led by Aragorn into battle. As the horde closes in Mr. Methane casts his “Fog of War” spell and clouds the forest in the remains of last night’s burrito dinner. The two-team battle and as the scent clears, only Aragorn, who stands atop the disabled corpse of Hubcap, survive from the Assassins first wave. Among the heaps of dead, Earthworm Jim and KC Munchkin are riddled with elf arrows and Mr. Methane and Ewok #7 had their heads ripped off by an orc.

Jack Artrip safely flew into a tree with his racoon leaf just before the attack started. He did not do this out of self-preservation, he simply saw a branch in the tree that reminded him of a wooden pickaxe from Minecraft and had to check it out. Then when he got up there, he completely forgot that he was here to battle and just stayed in the tree daydreaming thinking about his two favorite things to do: playing with Legos and leaving the light on in his bedroom.

Wheel Jack, Hound, Sunstreaker and Cliff Jumper stand remaining for TEAM.

“Perhaps you would like me to communicate with them, Master Luke? You know I’m fluent in over six mill—” C3PO suggests.

“No thanks, Threepio.” Says Luke dismissively. “I think we got this.”

Luke, Leia and Fulcrum ignite their Lightsabers while R2 beeps and wobbles annoyingly until he falls over in the uneven terrain. Before Threepio can help Artoo back up, the jedi trio have disabled Wheel Jack and Hound. The transformers try their hardest and they shoot rockets and stuff but they are only able to defeat Aragorn with a missile blast and Leia by a big metal boot that pounds her into the Endorian terrain.

Luke looks up at the Artrip child singing carefree on a tree branch and then back over to Ahsoka.

“I’m not my father and you aren’t your Master.” Says Luke. “I say we let this youngling live.”

The Assassins transport out of the match as night begins to fall and Luke is happy with himself for sparing the life of an innocent. However, had he known that nighttime on the forest moon of Endor is when the feral Ewoks come out to feed, he might have given the young boy a more merciful death than the long and painful one that was about to endure.

Week 8: Empire Vs Super Kitties

The Empire: Pinhead, Nazgul #7 on Mordor Horse, Jool Noret, Rita Repulsa, Lord Zed, Frankenstein’s Monster, Flying Monkey #2-8

Super Kitties: Cicada, Hermione Granger, Green Goblin, Dracula, the Protectobots; Hot Spot, Street Wise, Blades, Groove, and First Aid.

Around a fire, shivering and covered in blood, Flying Monkeys #7 and #8 sit in silence under the Endor night. Having witnessed the ruthless battle and the death of all of their friends before fleeing they retell the course of events.

It all started when the Green Goblin rode in on his hoverboard and disintegrated Flying Monkeys #2-6 and Frankensteins Monster. Rita Repulsa then cast an energy bolt killing him. The Protectobots were not far behind and surrounded Jool, Rita Repulsa, and Lord Zed. Rita cast a spell making Lord Zed a giant, then the three began their stand. Zed was easily able to take out several of the Protectobots before being struck by Blades. Rita and Jool are able to finish the job. Pinhead riding double with Nazgul #7 arrives to reinforce their allies, but the Kitties were determined to crush them. Cicada, Hermione, and Dracula descended upon the Empire. Nazgul #7 strikes Dracula but is crushed by Hermione who was fed up and used some primo magic. Cicada and Granger Moved to attack and are easily able to fight Jool, Rita, Pinhead, and Mordor Horse. Jool jumps on the horse and charges Hermione, but is struck mid charge by Cicada killing them both. But in this attack Pinhead is able to stab Cicada leaving the lone witch to fight Rita and the hellish demon. The Witch quickly out magics Rita who seems set on using odder spells. Pinhead walks unknowingly into a trap set by Granger who moves to act on the disoriented demon, but he summons several blades that rip the witch to bits but is struck by a devastating spell and he succumbs to his wounds. The Only survivors being the last two Flying Monkeys who hid in the bushes following the disintegration of all of their comrades. Wandering through the forest they set up camp where I met them to hear about the match.

Week 8: Gender Neutral Misunderstood Little People vs Barkley’s Turrible Decision’s

Little Peeps: Rick w/ a Red Lightsaber, Morty w/ a fireflower, Harambe in an AT-RT, Predator #1A-2A, Vampire Predator, Zombie Predator, Neo w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Bat-Mite w/ 6th Ring of the Dwarf Lords, Black Lantern Batman, Lando Calrissean and Lobot in F-14, and Zombie Green Lantern

Barkley: Artemis, Pan, Treebeard, Yaddle, and Skeletor

We’ve got two polar opposite teams here, one with a lot of characters while the other goes for a more minimalistic approach of less people but heavy hitters. Nonetheless a good matchup.

Barkley takes the lead with a bold statement from the goddess of the hunt. Artemis calls upon the wild animals of the forest, and in a stampede Rick, Morty, and Bat-Mite are trampled to death while two arrows from the bow of a goddess meet the spinal cords of Vampire and Zombie Predator. Harambe (RIP) makes quick friends with the wild animals and tells them that the humans will kill them one day, so they turn on Artemis and shred her to pieces like a Thanksgiving dinner.

We then pan (I’m sorry, I couldn’t not make the pun) over to Treebeard attempting to talk to the trees. I don’t think he’s aware that they don’t talk like him, he’s not in Fangorn Fore-- oh my god the trees are moving. Guys it’s just like that one scene from the Two Towers where he finds all the trees burnt down and all of a sudden a whole army of trees comes out of nowhere and starts messing the place up. Harambe’s AT-RT is smashed to bits along with the F-14 because they were blowing shit up and catching fires everywhere. While Neo is going ham on some trees with his two whitelightsabers, Yaddle, a true Jedi master, shows him how to properly use these laser thingys and slices and dices Neo. Although it was not before Neo landed a fatal blow to Treebeard.

Yaddle moves on and messes up the two Predators real quick while then throwing her lightsaber through the body of NIghtsister Acolyte. Now without her lightsaber, Asajj strikes from behind and ends the long life of Yaddle.

As we move through the battle, we actually come upon Pan, not a pun this time. He again summons the forest’s decomposers and they feast on the dead flesh of Zombie Green Lantern. Pan then plays some rustic music from before time itself and it is so boring that it literally kills Asajj, although Batman is of course unfazed. Batman moves toward the god of wilderness and snaps his neck over his knee.

Skeletor, who has been silent throughout the battle, realizes it is just himself versus Batman. Batman makes for a quick attack towards the weird skeleton playing with his hands. To the demise of Batman, he is unaware that this whole battle Skeletor has been building up dark magic and has had just enough time to now vaporize Batman.

George Washington's House Elves Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

George Washington's House Elves are Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Sgt. Slaughter w/ Taurus, Red Dog, & Mercer, The Predi-Alien, & The Paw Patrol: Ryder, Chase, Marshall, Rubble, Zuma, Sky, Rocky, Everest, & Tracker w/ their Vehicles.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are: IG-88, Scout Trooper #1-10, The Ninth Sister, Firelord Ozai, Maxima, Daenyrus Targaryen w/ his Dragon, Unsullied #1-10, & Dengar.

ITCHA BOY, The Neon Master Pogo here. Haven't got much chance to watch this year what with that draconian, totalitarian, effeminate, Bruce Jenner-lookin jerk that has us all freaked out about everything constantly in our faces. No, not Gretchen Whitmer, I'm talking about Joshatu the Butthurt. Anyways..... That's enough groaning, it's time to flush this turd.

Firelord Ozai does some serious bending of fire and of the land of Oz; not sure which one he is a master of; so I'll give him both powers. Either way, it's May the Fourth and I gots to give that love to Star Wars; so Luke blocks it with his lightsaber, absorbs it with The Force, and spin attacks Ozai silly Fo Keeps Dawg.

Dengar is all like: I was only in Star Wars for like five seconds; but I'm awesome; and Mercer is like: I was only in G.I. JOE for like five seconds; but at least I had a speaking role and killed him.

The Unsullied found Red Dog to be Sullied; so they: Honestly I don't know what I am talking about right now; so everyone mentioned in this paragraph just died.

The Predi-Alien joined the scene, and I instantly started projectile vomiting because it is basically the grossest thing in movie history. Luckily, Maxima is much tougher than I, and in lieu of projectile vomiting punched its head off instead.

The Scout Troopers are all like: “Wow, it's so quiet here on Endor. All the Ewoks must be obeying the stay at home order, too bad we are essential and have to come to work”; but then Han looked at Chewie in a totally non-gay way and was like: “Yo Chewie, we have gotten out of way more difficult situations than this”; and they start shooting first like a couple of bosses ten times straight until the Scout Troopers are all dead.

Daenyrus Targaryen and his dragon show up and it is really apparent from the start that Dude and his Dragon are wicked awesome. I mean, I didn't do any research or anything; but I know for sure: Wicked. Awesome. They are flying around being all like: Look how awesome I am. And then the Paw Patrol roll up on their vehicles.... Now, I know that y'all are just gonna say that I am lazy and don't feel like looking up these characters; but I assure you it is far deeper than that. My intention is really just to put Mr. Artrip into an existential quandary. You see, because I am just going to say that Rubble was in trouble and Chase was on the case and that they totes road their vehicles all up in here and that they won the skirmish and Chris is going to be thinking about how awesome Game of Thrones is and that I won't give it the proper love; but at the same time he'll be like: Yeah, bruh Paw Patrol is my team: REPRESENT. Well, anyway The Paw Patrol were victorious, but dude and his dragon managed to eat, or slice, err blow fire, or whatever they do on all of the Paw Patrol Pup except for Tracker who is my favorite, much to the dismay of my children who know I am crazy.

IG-88 shot Sgt. Slaughter and he died.

Taurus was a better swordsmen than The Ninth Sister; but lightsaber > Saracen Sword all day, every day; so the Inquisitor was victorious over the JOE Renegade. Luke on the other hand was better and had the same kind of weapon; so he managed to take her out.

Luke, Han, Chewie, Mercer, and Tracker squared off against IG-88 and Maxima to wrap everything up. Maxima and Luke became locked in an extremely epic, old-fashioned, Becks-style Pitched battle that could easily have been stretched to a page long conflict by a better writer; whilst Han blasted IG-88 directly in his central core. And then, in a full explosion of uncreativity; but also in a simultaneous shout out to The Mandalorian and not-so rock solid proof that I really did look at these teams intensely and have a rough time deciding who the winner should be: The IG Bounty Hunter Droid triggers his self destruct and destroys every non Canine in the bunch. Tracker marks his territory and puts out the fire with his urine.

Cuz that's how we do it on Endor Peeps. And. We out.

Consortium Week 8 The Striders of Rohan Vs 2 Hungry Dinomites With Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight

The Hungry Dinomites are Chief Chirpa w/ Tanooki Suit, Tee w/ Hammer bros suit, Logray, Wicket W. Warrick w/ Racoon leaf, Paploo w/ Vibranium suit, Ewok Warrior w/ Frog Suit, Ant-Man and Wasp, Falcon, Captain America w/ Blue Lantern ring, Winter Soldier, Giant Man, Mas and Menos, and Giant Hammer Bros. #1-4.

Striders of Rohan are Legolas, Gimli,nBoromir, Gerald of Rivia, w/ Green Lantern Ring, King Kong (Last Life), Radagast The Brown, and Baron Zemo w/ Yellow Lantern Ring.