The Untouchables are Franklin Richards, She-Ra w/ Swift Wind, Madam Razz & Broom, The Pretender Monsters: Birdbrain, Scowl, Bristleback, Icepick, Slog, & Wildfly, The Legion of Super-Heroes: Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, & Brainiac 5, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull (w/ an Indigo Lantern Ring), The Punisher, James Bond, Prof. McGonagall, Pyro, The Protectobots: Hotspot, First Aid, Grooves, Blades, & Streetwise, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Kickback, & Shrapnel, MacGyver (w/ a Red Lightsaber), Red Lantern Guy Gardner, Kimura, Maestro, & Private Ryan.
Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Darth Vader, Darth Talan, Jeer Dexton, Carnage, Dark Phoenix, Dracula, Holocaust, Mogo, Ranx: The Sentient City, Magog (w/ a green lantern ring), Orion, Red Hulk, Yendar Platis, & Wolverine.
We see some familiar, yet not so familiar faces in the line-up this week for The Backyardigans, and we see an Untouchable squad that looks and feels just slightly decimated after last week’s big upset over their old-time rival and division winner The Kennelz. The Untouchables have placed themselves strategically around the play-off planet, but The Backyardigans, with their very outnumbered team are all centrally located in the city region, which lies right at the planet’s equator. Even Mogo and Ranx just loom right outside the atmosphere of the planet, as they patiently wait for The Untouchables to make the first move. As mentioned before, The Backyardigans have started many of their old standards that we haven’t seen much of this season, while many of The Untouchables big stars gave the ultimate sacrifice to get their first ever play-off win. Many of The Backyardigans grow impatient as they merely sit by and wait but Lord Vader insists that they hold to the plan: “As an old comrade once told me: We only need to keep them from escaping”. Vader says to calm his troops and to reinforce his command over them. Going completely unnoticed, Guy Gardner does a fly by over The Backyardigans and then flies back to Brainiac 5 to report. “They aren’t gonna move Brainiac, I don’t think they are ever going to spilt up into the other settings like we had hoped. I say you let me lead an elite force and we see what damage we can inflict. Then we draw them out into the other areas like we had planned”. Brainiac 5 responds with: “I respect your enthusiasm Guy, but if you go in with only a fraction of our team against the squad that they sent out today, then you are going to get wasted and then we will be down some of our best players. On the other hand, you are right and I agree that Vader is never going to move his troops in an offensive posture. I think it is time for an all out offensive on our part”. “That’s what I’m talkin about” responds Guy Gardner and Lightning Lad simultaneously. With this conversation completed, Brainiac 5 orders an all out strike, from all angles on The Backyardigan front. Brainiac 5 speaks to the troops thru a telepathic link, using Franklin Richards as a vessel for the information delivery. “Have no illusions about what team we are going up against, but if we execute this attack with the right timing, then we may be able to take them down and advance to the next round, but it is going to have to take a perfect performance from all you. Now good luck”. The Untouchables rush in from all sides in an attempt to swarm The Backyardigans and to trap them within the boundaries of the 2 large skyscrapers that they are residing between, but keep in mind that this is exactly what Lord Vader was waiting for. As The Untouchables approach Dark Phoenix rises up into the air and releases a portion of the Phoenix force from her body. In doing so she rips apart several of the nearby buildings creating a much more open area for the battle to take place in. “Stay focused friends, the open area only helps our team’s larger numbers”. The Sorceress reminds her fellow Untouchables. But this blast from Dark Phoenix does more than just destroy buildings; it also completely wipes out Bouncing Boy, all 3 copies of Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, and Private Ryan. As well as knocking Swiftwind out from underneath She-Ra and Madam Razz off of Broom killing them both and with a more calculated move destroying Brainiac 5 with a mind block in an attempt to send The Untouchables in to a state of disarray by killing their leader. Wolverine catches a few stray bullets from Punisher’s .45’s, but he keeps moving at the powerless super-hero and disembowels him. Wolverine then catches a glimpse of Kimura out of the corner of his eye and moves towards her. Wolverine says: “I hear you’ve been not so nice to my daughter over the years, why don’t you try some of that out on me”. “Gladly” Kimura replies. With this being said the 2 attack each other fiercely and a pitched battle ensues (an ode to Ryan’s ode to Beckerman). Kimura puts up a fairly decent fight against Logan, but in the end there is only one person who is the best at what Wolverine does (much to the dismay of Marvel who would love to duplicate his sales). She-Ra, now on foot is followed by Broom in the air, as they square off against Dracula, while Red Hulk begins viciously brawling with Maestro. MacGyver uses some scraps from the destroyed buildings to put together a jet pack atom bomb delivery system that only James Bond could possibly work, but before hey can complete the hand-off they are run thru by the combo of Jeer Dexton and Magog. Prof. McGonagall tries some attack spells out for size, but Darth Talan is able to leap out of the way of his attacks and then finish him with a crimson lightsaber to the throat. Pyro is battling Yendar Platis, and has almost overpowered his 6 lightsabers with his flame-throwers, but just before he accomplishes his task Carnage comes up from behind him and engulfs the mutant in his symbiote suit before he crushes his skull. Dark Phoenix retreats back to the clouds, but Guy Gardner leads Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Monstructor, Defensor (encased in green energy for the ride up), and all 3 Insecticons against Dark Phoenix, Mogo, & Ranx. “We gotta take out the big boys if we’re gonna finish this party”. Gardner says as they race toward the skies. Whether it be from exhaustion or apathy is unclear, but Dark Phoenix falls back further as Gardner Guard’s (that’s what he’s calling them all of the sudden) charge their position. The Protectobots, Insecticons, and Pretender Monsters land directly on the surface of Ranx and begin destroying everything in sight. Ranx fights back using his industry laden surface to engulf Monstructor and eventually destroy all 6 of his sparks with a bombardment of killer machinery; while Mogo, who doesn’t seem to mind that his actions may be hurting his “friend” Ranx sends an enormous blast of green energy onto the surface of Ranx which Defensor is unable to defend against. Ranx begins to release a strange bellow from within as The Insecticons vigorously chew at a central part of the city. “We don’t need Brainiac here to tell us that whatever those crazy Decepticons are doing is hurting him”. Gardner yells to the remaining members of The Legion of Super-Heroes as they rush to join Bombshell and the boys in being an instrument of destruction. Gardner orders the Insecticons to keep ripping away at Ranx as fast as they can while Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, & Phantom Girl focus all of their energies on the Sentient City as well. Ranx is much weakened by these attacks, but he focuses what yellow energy he can on the 3 original threats. One by one Ranx destroys the Insecticons, but not before they create an enormous hole in the center of the universe’s biggest yellow lantern. With this task completed, an enraged Guy Gardner orders the Legion to stand back as he creates 2 enormous energy constructs. He then crashes both a red and green missile down the hole created by The Insecticons and takes out Ranx. What’s left of The Legion then gather around Gardner, and they waste no time moving against Mogo to try and start the process over again. Back on the surface The Sorceress uses her own powers combined with that of her new Indigo Lantern ring on Holocaust, but once the mutant is joined by the unlikely partner of Orion, she is defeated by their combined skills of energy manipulation and projection. The Sorceress has done much to comfort Franklin Richards after the death of his parents last week, and many in the Untouchables front office were unsure if he were ready to compete this week after such a loss, but the normally mild-mannered young man is sent over the edge with this act of ferocity by The Backyardigans. Franklin knocks Orion to the ground by a mere thought and then uses his own brain to simply shut off the mind of Holocaust. Dracula swipes at Broom with his nails causing a sharp edge in the living cleaning supply and then gains the upper hand in his fight against She-Ra, especially once Darth Talan comes to his aid. Dracula seems enlightened by this victory, but then the opponent which he had paid little attention to attacks once more. Broom, in a last ditch effort uses itself as a stake and goes directly thru the heart of Dracula. Darth Talan reacts quickly and cuts Broom in half with her lightsaber, but not before Broom kills the mighty Dracula. An exhausted Red Hulk is finally able to gain the upper hand over Maestro who are now fighting in the arctic region after knocking each other miles away with several of their hits. Red Hulk is barely able to muster the strength as he stands over Maestro with a glacier in his hands and rams it thru the face of the older version of his old enemy. Guy Gardner and The Legion burst thru the atmosphere of Mogo and begin attacking everything in sight with everything they have. Gardner is ready to execute a similar scheme as their Ranx plan despite having less help, but as he turns to bark an order he realizes that Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, & Phantom Girl were not able to break thru the green energy defenses of Mogo like he was. Guy Gardner, in a last ditch effort summons the power to create 2 missiles 3 times the size of the red and green energy projectiles he used to kill Ranx. Gardner is focusing his power on the attack, when Mogo uses his own skills to pull the red energy from the body of Gardner like he has before. Only this time Mogo does not do this slowly and carefully but in a single instant which sends Guy’s body in to complete withdrawal and leaves his lifeless body on the surface of Mogo. Franklin Richards is moving towards the fallen Orion about to execute a mental attack when Darth Vader uses the force to block Franklin’s telepathic powers from knowing of his attack. The Dark Lord of the Sith then moves with amazing agility to decapitate Richards before he can do any more damage. “Nicely done boys” Wolverine says as he helps up Orion. “Who do you think are next opponent will be Lord Vader.... TEAM or The Horsemen”? Darth Talan asks of her master. “Don’t care, they don‘t stand a chance” Wolverine says with an interruption. But Vader answers his apprentice with: “I just wish we could fight them both”.
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGAN’S: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCE TO THE AMERICAN LEAGUE FINALS!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Fantasy Fantasy End of the Year Bar-B-Q
To all:
Due to a busy July and beginning of August, I am expecting to hold the Annual BarBQ on Saturday, August 28, 2010 at 4pm.
Please chime in to see if the date is okay.
Thanks.
Due to a busy July and beginning of August, I am expecting to hold the Annual BarBQ on Saturday, August 28, 2010 at 4pm.
Please chime in to see if the date is okay.
Thanks.
Season Three: Week 2: Consolation Match: The Abomitrons vs. Oblivio
The Abomitrons are Immell #2 Batteldae (a clone of Batman & Tim Cheveldae), Immell #3 Robin Murray (a clone of Tim Drake & The Bry) and Naboo Soldier #2.
Oblivio is Troll #7.
Conrad, the Naboo Soldier, is pacing back and forth around the Houslander’s kitchen table wishing that they had been able to program some sort of intelligible language into the Immell clones. As it is though, all he can make out in their conversation is something that resembles a mishmash of words all ending in double M’s and double L’s. Conrad is basically just waiting for the match to start in hopes that he can somehow come out of this one alive.
You see, as a common character, his chance of survival is much slimmer than someone of actual ranking. He knows that he is basically just a living bullet catcher and that his usefulness ranks up their with common Storm Troopers (as if there was another kind) and a huge rock that somebody more important could stand behind to protect themselves from incoming fire. As of right now, he was still uncertain of whom he was going to be up against. Despite all of that though, he was in good spirits and was going to do everything in his power to try and not be just another stereotypical common in this league.
As he paced back and forth, he heard the noise of something coming up to the house. He walked to the front of the house to see what was going on when he noticed a very large Troll heading his way. He immediately drew his blaster and yelled back to his team to take cover. The Troll stood about twelve feel tall and was headed towards the house with great momentum.
The three Abomitron members quickly took to their attack positions and seconds later the Troll came barreling through the door. The Troll’s club bashed down front door of the house and soon enough he was in the kitchen. Immell #2 took his grappling hook out and shot it through the legs of the Troll and into the remains of the wall on the other side of the house. Immell #2 then slid between the legs of the Troll and was now on the other side of the great beast.
Conrad was quite impressed by the move and was wondering what was going to come of it. Immell #3 then grabbed the blaster out of the hand of Conrad and threw it to Immell #2. Immell #2 caught the gun and proceeded to blast the Troll in the back of the head. It only took a couple of shots to the back of the Troll’s head to send it crashing to the ground. Once the Troll was on the ground both of the Immell’s made sure the oversized menace was officially put out of commission by using everything they could find to kill the beast.
As Conrad stood there in awe of his teammates expedited dispatching of their opponent, he was at the same time joyful and discouraged. Of course he was happy to have come out of this rather speedy match alive, but he was still hoping to have contributed in some sort of way. As he just stood there waiting for the Immell’s to come back, Immell #2 walked over to him and handed him his blaster. The Immell said something to him that made little sense but he did have a look of admiration on his face. Conrad took that look as a sign of acknowledgment from his teammate of a job well done. For sometimes it is better to do nothing at all and win, then to try your hardest and lose. After all, it’s the little victories that always count in the end. Well, sometimes the big victories are pretty wonderful as well. In this case, Conrad was going to have to be happy with any victory that he could get.
Oblivio: All Dead
The Abomitrons: Immell #2 & #3 along with Naboo Solider #2 survived
The Abomitrons are Victorious!!!
Oblivio is Troll #7.
Conrad, the Naboo Soldier, is pacing back and forth around the Houslander’s kitchen table wishing that they had been able to program some sort of intelligible language into the Immell clones. As it is though, all he can make out in their conversation is something that resembles a mishmash of words all ending in double M’s and double L’s. Conrad is basically just waiting for the match to start in hopes that he can somehow come out of this one alive.
You see, as a common character, his chance of survival is much slimmer than someone of actual ranking. He knows that he is basically just a living bullet catcher and that his usefulness ranks up their with common Storm Troopers (as if there was another kind) and a huge rock that somebody more important could stand behind to protect themselves from incoming fire. As of right now, he was still uncertain of whom he was going to be up against. Despite all of that though, he was in good spirits and was going to do everything in his power to try and not be just another stereotypical common in this league.
As he paced back and forth, he heard the noise of something coming up to the house. He walked to the front of the house to see what was going on when he noticed a very large Troll heading his way. He immediately drew his blaster and yelled back to his team to take cover. The Troll stood about twelve feel tall and was headed towards the house with great momentum.
The three Abomitron members quickly took to their attack positions and seconds later the Troll came barreling through the door. The Troll’s club bashed down front door of the house and soon enough he was in the kitchen. Immell #2 took his grappling hook out and shot it through the legs of the Troll and into the remains of the wall on the other side of the house. Immell #2 then slid between the legs of the Troll and was now on the other side of the great beast.
Conrad was quite impressed by the move and was wondering what was going to come of it. Immell #3 then grabbed the blaster out of the hand of Conrad and threw it to Immell #2. Immell #2 caught the gun and proceeded to blast the Troll in the back of the head. It only took a couple of shots to the back of the Troll’s head to send it crashing to the ground. Once the Troll was on the ground both of the Immell’s made sure the oversized menace was officially put out of commission by using everything they could find to kill the beast.
As Conrad stood there in awe of his teammates expedited dispatching of their opponent, he was at the same time joyful and discouraged. Of course he was happy to have come out of this rather speedy match alive, but he was still hoping to have contributed in some sort of way. As he just stood there waiting for the Immell’s to come back, Immell #2 walked over to him and handed him his blaster. The Immell said something to him that made little sense but he did have a look of admiration on his face. Conrad took that look as a sign of acknowledgment from his teammate of a job well done. For sometimes it is better to do nothing at all and win, then to try your hardest and lose. After all, it’s the little victories that always count in the end. Well, sometimes the big victories are pretty wonderful as well. In this case, Conrad was going to have to be happy with any victory that he could get.
Oblivio: All Dead
The Abomitrons: Immell #2 & #3 along with Naboo Solider #2 survived
The Abomitrons are Victorious!!!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Xavier's Annihilation Squad Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
Xavier's Annihilation Squad is Zombie Josh Houslander, Lurch, & Gomez Addams (w/ a green lightsaber).
Le' Napoleon Brigade is Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troops #1-3, & Lala.
Zombie Josh Houslander rushes in to the match at Mach Awesome, which is a speed that only a Josh Houslander variation can achieve. The 2 Crack Troops are up front protecting the 2 Brigade leaders and they take aim at the crazed zombie. They hit him with several laser blasts but the world's most attractive undead guy just keeps coming. As he gets closer the Crack Troops begin hacking away at Josh with their futuristic bayonets, but it doesn't stop the bada** techniques of Zombie Josh Houslander, who is almost as good of a fighter as the real josh Houslander was before his untimely, yet heroic death which can basically be credited to The Horsemen of Apokolips' Universe Bowl victory last season. The 3 Crack Troops put up a decent fight but inevitably they are defeated and all 3 killed by the vicious, yet surprisingly intelligent and agile Zombie Josh Houslander (I guess if you figure that a zombie still holds on to some of its former brain power and abilities, then this particular zombie would obviously still be pretty awesome). While the present Addams Family members look on at their gnarly teammate, Karg sneaks up beside Gomez and uses his killer ice cream cone looking thing to stab Gomez in the back of the neck and kill him. Zombie Josh Houslander sees this and jumps into action, biting Karg in the throat and ripping him apart. As blood spills everywhere Zombie Josh Houslander begins to devour the rest of Karg's body, but before he can, little pink Lala picks up the lightsaber belonging to Gomez and uses it to slice off the head of Zombie Josh Houslander. Lurch sheds a tear for his undead teammate as he picks up Lala and crushes the little pink furball into goo.
XAVIER'S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!
Le' Napoleon Brigade is Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troops #1-3, & Lala.
Zombie Josh Houslander rushes in to the match at Mach Awesome, which is a speed that only a Josh Houslander variation can achieve. The 2 Crack Troops are up front protecting the 2 Brigade leaders and they take aim at the crazed zombie. They hit him with several laser blasts but the world's most attractive undead guy just keeps coming. As he gets closer the Crack Troops begin hacking away at Josh with their futuristic bayonets, but it doesn't stop the bada** techniques of Zombie Josh Houslander, who is almost as good of a fighter as the real josh Houslander was before his untimely, yet heroic death which can basically be credited to The Horsemen of Apokolips' Universe Bowl victory last season. The 3 Crack Troops put up a decent fight but inevitably they are defeated and all 3 killed by the vicious, yet surprisingly intelligent and agile Zombie Josh Houslander (I guess if you figure that a zombie still holds on to some of its former brain power and abilities, then this particular zombie would obviously still be pretty awesome). While the present Addams Family members look on at their gnarly teammate, Karg sneaks up beside Gomez and uses his killer ice cream cone looking thing to stab Gomez in the back of the neck and kill him. Zombie Josh Houslander sees this and jumps into action, biting Karg in the throat and ripping him apart. As blood spills everywhere Zombie Josh Houslander begins to devour the rest of Karg's body, but before he can, little pink Lala picks up the lightsaber belonging to Gomez and uses it to slice off the head of Zombie Josh Houslander. Lurch sheds a tear for his undead teammate as he picks up Lala and crushes the little pink furball into goo.
XAVIER'S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!
Better Than All of You vs. The Right Wing
“It's the playoffs. You find a way to get through.”
-Steve Finley
I look to the teams which will do battle at the Playoff Planet in this Second Week of the Playoffs. They are as follows:
Better Than All of You: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan w/ both his green ring and an indigo ring), Thanos, Aquaman, Aqualad, Aquababy, Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Gandalf the White, Ghost Rider (Danny Ketch), Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze), Skeletor, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Gray Hulk, Abomination, Predator #5, Zombie Venom, Zombie Trinity, Iron Spiderman, Symbiote Suit Spiderman, Anti-Venom, Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne), Batman (Jean-Paul Valley), Batman Beyond, Doc Holiday, Lonestar, Barf and Astro-Droid #17 (RVD-1) in a Y-Wing Bomber and Doozer #6.
The Right Wing: Poseidon, Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Kit Fisto, Athena, Darth Malak, Black Panther, Superwoman, Red She-Hulk, Jool Nooret, Dr. House M.D., Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Lyra the She Hulk, Winnie the Pooh, Mogwai #3 and 4, Piglet, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Ewok Babies #3 and 4, Snow Troopers #1-6, T-Rex #6, Droid Fighter Ships #3 and 4, Slimer, John Stewart and Blue Lantern #1.
Let the battle begin. . .
Water Region
Aquaman, Aqualad and Aquababy see the Titanic as it cruises across the waters. At the ocean liner’s helm are Mogwai #3 and 4. The two creatures coo and yelp in excitement as they steer the ship. An unfathomable wave crashes over the ship and sinks the Titanic. [The wave, fearless readers, was caused by Poseidon]. The Mogwai escape being sucked under by the ship through a flotation device. Fortunately for the Right Wing, water splashed on the diminutive fur balls. The Mogwai begin to gurgle in pain as Mogwai #3 gives birth to fifteen Gremlins and Mogwai #4 gives birth to twelve Gremlins. Knowing that the Mogwai and Gremlins will only multiply further, Aquaman and Aqualad use their telepathic powers to call upon the local aquatic inhabitants. The water creatures focus on the Mogwai and both Mogwai #3 and 4 are readily eaten. Before the called-upon beasts are able to destroy the Gremlin troop, the Gremlins swarm Aquababy. Aquababy kills five Gremlins, but the remaining monsters finish Aquababy off. Aquaman and Aqualad then, with the help of their new-found friends, destroy the remaining Gremlins.
Kit Fisto swims at Aqualad. Fisto gains the upper hand with both the Force and his lightsaber and skewers Aqualad. Aqualad’s blood excites the creatures in the area and the Titan is finished off by his own summonees. As blood drifts through the waters, Aquaman again requests the assistance of the water predators in the area. The monsters are enticed into a frenzy due to the blood and kill Fisto.
The King of Atlantis faces the Greek god of the sea. Poseidon’s powers are far superior over Aquaman; Aquaman eventually succumbs to a watery grave.
Underground Region
Mickey and Minnie Mouse walk through tunnels; they see their brethren skittering at their feet. When the Mouses (mice) look up, they see Doozer #6.
Mickey: Hah. Hah. We were around before you were even a glimmer in Henson’s mind.
Doozer #6: Don’t matter none. Still gonna kick your a$$!
Doozer #6 rushes at Minnie. Minnie is taken aback by the ferocity of Doozer #6 and slips. Doozer #6 falls upon her and rips Minnie’s throat out.
Mickey: MINNIE!!!!!!
Mickey reaches Doozer #6 and with his bear hands, rips the Hensonite apart. He then looks up to see Skeletor. Froth is seen around Mickey’s mouth.
Skeletor: You cannot be serious.
With a swift hand, Skeletor uses his Havoc Staff. The staff’s mystical abilities tear Mickey apart. Skeletor looks up from the desecrated mouse and sees Slimer. Before Skeletor can react, Slimer flies at He-Man’s nemesis and slimes him. The ooze begins to harden, encasing Skeletor, who frantically attempts to remove the muck. Slimer focuses on Skeletor. Gandalf the White appears from the shadows and stands in front of his crusty teammate. Slimer gargles.
Gandalf: You shall not pass!
Slimer bellows.
Gandalf: You shall not pass!
Slimer flies at Gandalf. Before the ghost reaches the wizard, Slimer explodes. Gandalf looks behind him and sees Skeletor, standing with his staff in hand.
Skeletor: You really should’ve just wasted him; too much drama the other way.
Forest Region
Piglet walks through the forest. He is met by Doc Holiday. Piglet moves his paws to his mouth, in fright.
Doc Holiday: No need to sweat little pig. I’m going to make this quick.
Holiday fires and kills Piglet. Winnie the Pooh sees his best friend fall.
Pooh: Oh you mean, mean man!
Doc Holiday: Don’t call me mean. . . (smiles) I’m your huckleberry.
Pooh: You’re my first kill of the day!
Pooh summons the spirit of his bear brethren and attacks Holiday. Pooh slashes Holiday’s face and cripples the gunfighter’s eyesight. Even with blood dripping into his eyes, Holiday riddles Pooh with bullets. A searing pain is felt by Holiday in his gut. He looks down and sees the Ewok Babies gnashing on his stomach. An already wounded Holiday falls and Ewok Babies #3 and 4 jump on him. The two gnaw at his mortally wounded body.
Predator #5 looks for prey. His search is short lived as Black Panther pounces on the alien. The two fight and batter each other like rag dolls. Eventually Black Panther steals Predator #5’s spear and runs him through. Predator #5 falls to the ground, dead.
Anti-Venom swings to the scene and uses web projectiles to tie Ewok Babies #3 and 4 to a tree limb. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes race at the furry Endorians and slice them apart. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes creep along the forest floor and meet Black Panther. Panther uses his metal claws, but the fight with Predator #5 has weakened him; T’Challa is killed by the two skilled ninjas. From above, the Greek goddess Athena, uses her skills to destroy both ninjas; Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow die. Anti-Venom swings through the forest and is searching for Athena. Due to him being distracted in an attempt to locate Athena, he accidentally lands on T Rex #6’s snout. The dinosaur opens its maw and chomps Anti-Venom in half.
Air
Droid Fighter Ships #3 and 4 focus on Lonestar, Barf and RVD-1 in a Y-Wing. The superior piloting skills of Lonestar and Barf outmatch the Droid Fighter ships and destroy both. Zeus flies by on his favorite cloud and riddles the Y-Wing with lightning. The ship shorts out and begins to careen out of control.
Barf: Are we going down with the ship?
Lonestar: Ain’t my ship!
Lonestar and Barf jettison from the crashing Y-Wing. RVD-1 goes down with the ship. As Lonestar and Barf soar down in their fighter compartments, Lonestar is scooped up by Superwoman.
Lonestar: Wow! What big-
Before Lonestar can complete his chauvinistic, sexist and discriminatory statement, Superwoman snaps Lonestar’s neck. Barf soars at Superwoman, who flies out of the way and rips his head off as he passes by. While Superwoman finishes off Lonestar and Barf, Green Lantern Hal Jordan is able to tactically maneuver himself in a better position to come from behind Superwoman. Superwoman is wrapped up by Jordan’s green lantern ring. Thanos teleports next to the two and uses his energy manipulation powers to destroy Superwoman. Jordan and Thanos teleport (using Jordan’s indigo ring and Thanos’ innate ability) next to Blue Lantern #1 and John Stewart. Stewart and Blue Lantern #1 are killed by the Better duo.
Zeus flies by and riddles Jordan’s body with lightning. Jordan begins to fall-which winds up saving him in the end. Before Thanos can teleport away, Silver Surfer fires the power cosmic at the Eternal mutant. Thanos absorbs the energy. The amount of energy imbibed by Thanos begins to rip his body apart. Thanos determines to use his last act as one of retribution. Thanos uses his body as a cosmic bomb that rivals the big bang’s explosion. As Thanos is ripped apart, he takes out both Silver Surfer and Zeus. Hal Jordan, still falling, wakes in time to see their deaths.
Arctic Region
Gray Hulk: Gray Hulk becoming cold. Should not have worn just ripped jeans.
Abomination: Quit complaining! At least you have jeans, I only have shorts. Now focus!
The two behemoths skirt the blaster fire of Snow Troopers #1-6. Although their bodies are singed, the Troopers are no match for the irradiated duo. Gray Hulk and Abomination kill all Snow Troopers. Darth Malak uses the Force to push Gray Hulk across the tundra. Malak then ignites his blade and crouches in a defensive stance. Abomination reaches Malak and the two fight. Abomination repeatedly smashes at the force shield around Malak, but loses his left hand in the process. Gray Hulk joins Abomination and leaps next to Malak. Malak unexpectedly kills Gray Hulk, but succumbs to the sheer brunt force of a one-handed Abomination.
City Region
Victoria, with a red lightsaber, takes on the Batman crew- Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne), Batman (Jean-Paul Valley) and Batman Beyond. The fury of Victoria wielding the red blade is spectacular to see. She uses her quickness and strength to kill Robin and Batman Beyond. The remaining Batmen use their utility belts in unison as a response to two of their own being killed. They pull out their vampire- weaponry and fire it at Victoria the same time. Although Victoria is able to deflect some of the projectiles, she is unable to destroy them all; she explodes as the stakes rip through her heart.
Jooel Nooret and Zombie Trinity are in a pitched battle. Nooret is eventually able to best Zombie Trinity and slices her head off with his Ginaz skills. He looks down as mystical chains bind his limbs together. At the end of the chains is the Ghost Rider duo; arms is Ketch and legs is Blaze. They race both ways and rip Nooret in half. Zombie Venom rushes to the body and begins to feast.
Dr. House sees the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man walking down the city’s main street. He shakes his head as he believes he is hallucinating from popping too many pills. House is squished under Stay Puft’s foot.
Lyra the She Hulk and Red She Hulk band together and kill both Batman (Jean Paul Valley and Batman (Dick Grayson). Thus, the female Hulk duo destroys the dynamic Batman duo.
In the next instant I transfer all of the combatants to the City Region for the Final Battle. The remaining participants are as follows:
Better Than All of You: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan w/ both his green ring and an indigo ring), Gandalf the White, Ghost Rider (Danny Ketch), Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze), Skeletor, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Abomination, Zombie Venom, Iron Spiderman and Symbiote Suit Spiderman.
The Right Wing: Poseidon, Athena, Red She-Hulk, Lyra the She Hulk and T-Rex #6.
T-Rex #6 sees the Stay Putft Marshmallow Man and rushes at the giant candy-pitchman. The dinosaur pounces on Stay Puft and rips him apart, piece by marshmallowy piece. Abomination jumps on the dinosaur and manages to take the T-Rex down, even without a hand. The Ghost Riders finish the job and kill T-Rex #6.
Poseidon uses his powers to steer an immense amount of waters through the town. The charged fluid rips both Ghost Riders off their motorcycles. The Ghost Riders are repeatedly battered around throughout the city by the waters. They are eventually drowned by Poseidon’s powers as they revert to their human form. Gandalf the White uses his staff like Moses and parts the waters away from his teammates and the battlefield. Gandalf then joins forces with Skeletor and together they use their magics and mystical abilities to transport/teleport Poseidon away from the battlefield grounds. Poseidon is rife with both Better members’ powers surging through him and with the loss of his land/water grounding, Poseidon is destroyed.
The remaining female trio of Athena, Red She Hulk and Lyra the She Hulk face Abomination, Iron Spider Man and Symbiote Suit Spiderman. Iron Spider Man is destroyed by Lyra the She Hulk. Symbiote Spiderman is killed by Red She-Hulk. Abomination is killed by Athena.
Zombie Venom jumps on Red She Hulk. Although Red She Hulk attempts to kill Zombie Venom, she is unable to behead the zombie with her sai. Zombie Venom suffocates Red She Hulk with his symbiotic appendages. An angry Lyra rips Venom’s head off in revenge for her fallen comrade.
Gandalf, Skeletor and Jordan combine all of their powers to strike at Lyra and Athena. The two females manage to repel the repeated attacks of the trio, but eventually are bested. The two fall to the ground, holding hands with smiles on their faces. They have fought valiantly and have honored their team during this Playoff Match.
Better Than All of You: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan with both green and indigo rings), Gandalf the White and Skeletor.
The Right Wing: All dead.
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!!!
-Steve Finley
I look to the teams which will do battle at the Playoff Planet in this Second Week of the Playoffs. They are as follows:
Better Than All of You: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan w/ both his green ring and an indigo ring), Thanos, Aquaman, Aqualad, Aquababy, Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Gandalf the White, Ghost Rider (Danny Ketch), Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze), Skeletor, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Gray Hulk, Abomination, Predator #5, Zombie Venom, Zombie Trinity, Iron Spiderman, Symbiote Suit Spiderman, Anti-Venom, Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne), Batman (Jean-Paul Valley), Batman Beyond, Doc Holiday, Lonestar, Barf and Astro-Droid #17 (RVD-1) in a Y-Wing Bomber and Doozer #6.
The Right Wing: Poseidon, Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Kit Fisto, Athena, Darth Malak, Black Panther, Superwoman, Red She-Hulk, Jool Nooret, Dr. House M.D., Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Lyra the She Hulk, Winnie the Pooh, Mogwai #3 and 4, Piglet, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Ewok Babies #3 and 4, Snow Troopers #1-6, T-Rex #6, Droid Fighter Ships #3 and 4, Slimer, John Stewart and Blue Lantern #1.
Let the battle begin. . .
Water Region
Aquaman, Aqualad and Aquababy see the Titanic as it cruises across the waters. At the ocean liner’s helm are Mogwai #3 and 4. The two creatures coo and yelp in excitement as they steer the ship. An unfathomable wave crashes over the ship and sinks the Titanic. [The wave, fearless readers, was caused by Poseidon]. The Mogwai escape being sucked under by the ship through a flotation device. Fortunately for the Right Wing, water splashed on the diminutive fur balls. The Mogwai begin to gurgle in pain as Mogwai #3 gives birth to fifteen Gremlins and Mogwai #4 gives birth to twelve Gremlins. Knowing that the Mogwai and Gremlins will only multiply further, Aquaman and Aqualad use their telepathic powers to call upon the local aquatic inhabitants. The water creatures focus on the Mogwai and both Mogwai #3 and 4 are readily eaten. Before the called-upon beasts are able to destroy the Gremlin troop, the Gremlins swarm Aquababy. Aquababy kills five Gremlins, but the remaining monsters finish Aquababy off. Aquaman and Aqualad then, with the help of their new-found friends, destroy the remaining Gremlins.
Kit Fisto swims at Aqualad. Fisto gains the upper hand with both the Force and his lightsaber and skewers Aqualad. Aqualad’s blood excites the creatures in the area and the Titan is finished off by his own summonees. As blood drifts through the waters, Aquaman again requests the assistance of the water predators in the area. The monsters are enticed into a frenzy due to the blood and kill Fisto.
The King of Atlantis faces the Greek god of the sea. Poseidon’s powers are far superior over Aquaman; Aquaman eventually succumbs to a watery grave.
Underground Region
Mickey and Minnie Mouse walk through tunnels; they see their brethren skittering at their feet. When the Mouses (mice) look up, they see Doozer #6.
Mickey: Hah. Hah. We were around before you were even a glimmer in Henson’s mind.
Doozer #6: Don’t matter none. Still gonna kick your a$$!
Doozer #6 rushes at Minnie. Minnie is taken aback by the ferocity of Doozer #6 and slips. Doozer #6 falls upon her and rips Minnie’s throat out.
Mickey: MINNIE!!!!!!
Mickey reaches Doozer #6 and with his bear hands, rips the Hensonite apart. He then looks up to see Skeletor. Froth is seen around Mickey’s mouth.
Skeletor: You cannot be serious.
With a swift hand, Skeletor uses his Havoc Staff. The staff’s mystical abilities tear Mickey apart. Skeletor looks up from the desecrated mouse and sees Slimer. Before Skeletor can react, Slimer flies at He-Man’s nemesis and slimes him. The ooze begins to harden, encasing Skeletor, who frantically attempts to remove the muck. Slimer focuses on Skeletor. Gandalf the White appears from the shadows and stands in front of his crusty teammate. Slimer gargles.
Gandalf: You shall not pass!
Slimer bellows.
Gandalf: You shall not pass!
Slimer flies at Gandalf. Before the ghost reaches the wizard, Slimer explodes. Gandalf looks behind him and sees Skeletor, standing with his staff in hand.
Skeletor: You really should’ve just wasted him; too much drama the other way.
Forest Region
Piglet walks through the forest. He is met by Doc Holiday. Piglet moves his paws to his mouth, in fright.
Doc Holiday: No need to sweat little pig. I’m going to make this quick.
Holiday fires and kills Piglet. Winnie the Pooh sees his best friend fall.
Pooh: Oh you mean, mean man!
Doc Holiday: Don’t call me mean. . . (smiles) I’m your huckleberry.
Pooh: You’re my first kill of the day!
Pooh summons the spirit of his bear brethren and attacks Holiday. Pooh slashes Holiday’s face and cripples the gunfighter’s eyesight. Even with blood dripping into his eyes, Holiday riddles Pooh with bullets. A searing pain is felt by Holiday in his gut. He looks down and sees the Ewok Babies gnashing on his stomach. An already wounded Holiday falls and Ewok Babies #3 and 4 jump on him. The two gnaw at his mortally wounded body.
Predator #5 looks for prey. His search is short lived as Black Panther pounces on the alien. The two fight and batter each other like rag dolls. Eventually Black Panther steals Predator #5’s spear and runs him through. Predator #5 falls to the ground, dead.
Anti-Venom swings to the scene and uses web projectiles to tie Ewok Babies #3 and 4 to a tree limb. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes race at the furry Endorians and slice them apart. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes creep along the forest floor and meet Black Panther. Panther uses his metal claws, but the fight with Predator #5 has weakened him; T’Challa is killed by the two skilled ninjas. From above, the Greek goddess Athena, uses her skills to destroy both ninjas; Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow die. Anti-Venom swings through the forest and is searching for Athena. Due to him being distracted in an attempt to locate Athena, he accidentally lands on T Rex #6’s snout. The dinosaur opens its maw and chomps Anti-Venom in half.
Air
Droid Fighter Ships #3 and 4 focus on Lonestar, Barf and RVD-1 in a Y-Wing. The superior piloting skills of Lonestar and Barf outmatch the Droid Fighter ships and destroy both. Zeus flies by on his favorite cloud and riddles the Y-Wing with lightning. The ship shorts out and begins to careen out of control.
Barf: Are we going down with the ship?
Lonestar: Ain’t my ship!
Lonestar and Barf jettison from the crashing Y-Wing. RVD-1 goes down with the ship. As Lonestar and Barf soar down in their fighter compartments, Lonestar is scooped up by Superwoman.
Lonestar: Wow! What big-
Before Lonestar can complete his chauvinistic, sexist and discriminatory statement, Superwoman snaps Lonestar’s neck. Barf soars at Superwoman, who flies out of the way and rips his head off as he passes by. While Superwoman finishes off Lonestar and Barf, Green Lantern Hal Jordan is able to tactically maneuver himself in a better position to come from behind Superwoman. Superwoman is wrapped up by Jordan’s green lantern ring. Thanos teleports next to the two and uses his energy manipulation powers to destroy Superwoman. Jordan and Thanos teleport (using Jordan’s indigo ring and Thanos’ innate ability) next to Blue Lantern #1 and John Stewart. Stewart and Blue Lantern #1 are killed by the Better duo.
Zeus flies by and riddles Jordan’s body with lightning. Jordan begins to fall-which winds up saving him in the end. Before Thanos can teleport away, Silver Surfer fires the power cosmic at the Eternal mutant. Thanos absorbs the energy. The amount of energy imbibed by Thanos begins to rip his body apart. Thanos determines to use his last act as one of retribution. Thanos uses his body as a cosmic bomb that rivals the big bang’s explosion. As Thanos is ripped apart, he takes out both Silver Surfer and Zeus. Hal Jordan, still falling, wakes in time to see their deaths.
Arctic Region
Gray Hulk: Gray Hulk becoming cold. Should not have worn just ripped jeans.
Abomination: Quit complaining! At least you have jeans, I only have shorts. Now focus!
The two behemoths skirt the blaster fire of Snow Troopers #1-6. Although their bodies are singed, the Troopers are no match for the irradiated duo. Gray Hulk and Abomination kill all Snow Troopers. Darth Malak uses the Force to push Gray Hulk across the tundra. Malak then ignites his blade and crouches in a defensive stance. Abomination reaches Malak and the two fight. Abomination repeatedly smashes at the force shield around Malak, but loses his left hand in the process. Gray Hulk joins Abomination and leaps next to Malak. Malak unexpectedly kills Gray Hulk, but succumbs to the sheer brunt force of a one-handed Abomination.
City Region
Victoria, with a red lightsaber, takes on the Batman crew- Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne), Batman (Jean-Paul Valley) and Batman Beyond. The fury of Victoria wielding the red blade is spectacular to see. She uses her quickness and strength to kill Robin and Batman Beyond. The remaining Batmen use their utility belts in unison as a response to two of their own being killed. They pull out their vampire- weaponry and fire it at Victoria the same time. Although Victoria is able to deflect some of the projectiles, she is unable to destroy them all; she explodes as the stakes rip through her heart.
Jooel Nooret and Zombie Trinity are in a pitched battle. Nooret is eventually able to best Zombie Trinity and slices her head off with his Ginaz skills. He looks down as mystical chains bind his limbs together. At the end of the chains is the Ghost Rider duo; arms is Ketch and legs is Blaze. They race both ways and rip Nooret in half. Zombie Venom rushes to the body and begins to feast.
Dr. House sees the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man walking down the city’s main street. He shakes his head as he believes he is hallucinating from popping too many pills. House is squished under Stay Puft’s foot.
Lyra the She Hulk and Red She Hulk band together and kill both Batman (Jean Paul Valley and Batman (Dick Grayson). Thus, the female Hulk duo destroys the dynamic Batman duo.
In the next instant I transfer all of the combatants to the City Region for the Final Battle. The remaining participants are as follows:
Better Than All of You: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan w/ both his green ring and an indigo ring), Gandalf the White, Ghost Rider (Danny Ketch), Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze), Skeletor, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Abomination, Zombie Venom, Iron Spiderman and Symbiote Suit Spiderman.
The Right Wing: Poseidon, Athena, Red She-Hulk, Lyra the She Hulk and T-Rex #6.
T-Rex #6 sees the Stay Putft Marshmallow Man and rushes at the giant candy-pitchman. The dinosaur pounces on Stay Puft and rips him apart, piece by marshmallowy piece. Abomination jumps on the dinosaur and manages to take the T-Rex down, even without a hand. The Ghost Riders finish the job and kill T-Rex #6.
Poseidon uses his powers to steer an immense amount of waters through the town. The charged fluid rips both Ghost Riders off their motorcycles. The Ghost Riders are repeatedly battered around throughout the city by the waters. They are eventually drowned by Poseidon’s powers as they revert to their human form. Gandalf the White uses his staff like Moses and parts the waters away from his teammates and the battlefield. Gandalf then joins forces with Skeletor and together they use their magics and mystical abilities to transport/teleport Poseidon away from the battlefield grounds. Poseidon is rife with both Better members’ powers surging through him and with the loss of his land/water grounding, Poseidon is destroyed.
The remaining female trio of Athena, Red She Hulk and Lyra the She Hulk face Abomination, Iron Spider Man and Symbiote Suit Spiderman. Iron Spider Man is destroyed by Lyra the She Hulk. Symbiote Spiderman is killed by Red She-Hulk. Abomination is killed by Athena.
Zombie Venom jumps on Red She Hulk. Although Red She Hulk attempts to kill Zombie Venom, she is unable to behead the zombie with her sai. Zombie Venom suffocates Red She Hulk with his symbiotic appendages. An angry Lyra rips Venom’s head off in revenge for her fallen comrade.
Gandalf, Skeletor and Jordan combine all of their powers to strike at Lyra and Athena. The two females manage to repel the repeated attacks of the trio, but eventually are bested. The two fall to the ground, holding hands with smiles on their faces. They have fought valiantly and have honored their team during this Playoff Match.
Better Than All of You: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan with both green and indigo rings), Gandalf the White and Skeletor.
The Right Wing: All dead.
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Season Three: Week Two: Consolation Match: P.M.S vs The Syracuse Valley
The Syracuse Valley is Splinter
P.M.S is Aerial Clone Trooper #1 & Gloppy the Molasses Monster
THIS MATCH SHOULD BE SUNG ALOUD TO THE TUNE OF “HOTEL CALIFORNIA” BY THE EAGLES.
On a dark suburban highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of baked goods rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a big old porch light
My armor grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I wasn’t ready for a fight
There she stood in the doorway
I heard the dinner bell
I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”
Then she lit up the kitchen and she showed me the way
There were voices down the hallway,
I thought I heard them say…
“Welcome to the Houslander Room & Board Ya”
“Such a lovely place” (Such a lovely place)
“Such a lovely face”
“There’s plenty of room at the Houslander Room & Board Ya”
“Any time of year” (Any time of year)
“You can find it here?”
My team is Tiffany created
She’s got the P.M.S.
She’s got lots of pretty, pretty girls, she calls friends
How they fight in the backyard, sweet summer sweat
Some fight to remember, Some fight to forget
So I called up Gloppy, “Please bring me my gun”
He said, “I haven’t seen that model here since 2001”
And still those voices are coming from far away
Distract you in the middle of a fight
Just to hear them say…
“Welcome to the Houslander Room & Board Ya”
“Such a lovely place” (Such a lovely place)
“Such a lovely face”
They fighting it up at the Houslander Room & Board Ya
What a nice surprise! (What a nice surprise!)
Didn’t bring enough supplies
Gloppy’s all over the ceiling, looks like my partners on ice
And Splinter said, “You are just my prisoner here, a bad roll of the dice”
And in the master’s chambers, they gathered for the feast
They stabbed Gloppy with their steely knives, looks like they’ve just killed the beast
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
“Relax” said the Rat Man, “Go ahead and try to leave”
“But you beating me in this match, is something nobody would believe”
QUE THE KILLER GUITAR SOLO
P.M.S.: All Dead
The Syracuse Valley: Splinter survived
The Syracuse Valley is Victorious!!!
P.M.S is Aerial Clone Trooper #1 & Gloppy the Molasses Monster
THIS MATCH SHOULD BE SUNG ALOUD TO THE TUNE OF “HOTEL CALIFORNIA” BY THE EAGLES.
On a dark suburban highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of baked goods rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a big old porch light
My armor grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I wasn’t ready for a fight
There she stood in the doorway
I heard the dinner bell
I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”
Then she lit up the kitchen and she showed me the way
There were voices down the hallway,
I thought I heard them say…
“Welcome to the Houslander Room & Board Ya”
“Such a lovely place” (Such a lovely place)
“Such a lovely face”
“There’s plenty of room at the Houslander Room & Board Ya”
“Any time of year” (Any time of year)
“You can find it here?”
My team is Tiffany created
She’s got the P.M.S.
She’s got lots of pretty, pretty girls, she calls friends
How they fight in the backyard, sweet summer sweat
Some fight to remember, Some fight to forget
So I called up Gloppy, “Please bring me my gun”
He said, “I haven’t seen that model here since 2001”
And still those voices are coming from far away
Distract you in the middle of a fight
Just to hear them say…
“Welcome to the Houslander Room & Board Ya”
“Such a lovely place” (Such a lovely place)
“Such a lovely face”
They fighting it up at the Houslander Room & Board Ya
What a nice surprise! (What a nice surprise!)
Didn’t bring enough supplies
Gloppy’s all over the ceiling, looks like my partners on ice
And Splinter said, “You are just my prisoner here, a bad roll of the dice”
And in the master’s chambers, they gathered for the feast
They stabbed Gloppy with their steely knives, looks like they’ve just killed the beast
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
“Relax” said the Rat Man, “Go ahead and try to leave”
“But you beating me in this match, is something nobody would believe”
QUE THE KILLER GUITAR SOLO
P.M.S.: All Dead
The Syracuse Valley: Splinter survived
The Syracuse Valley is Victorious!!!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Hayley's Comets vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
“The defects of great men are the consolation of the dunces.”
-Isaac Disraeli
I look to the teams which will do battle at Nick Houslander’s home in this Week 2 Playoff Consolation Match. They are as follows:
The Comets: Donald Pierce and Ewok #76.
The Murderflies: Marines #89 and 90.
Let the battle begin. . .
The Murderfly Marines have returned from a golf outing and are somewhat inebriated. They sit down at Houslander’s kitchen table. They then decide to prepare for the match, which they believe will be over in mere seconds due to their overconfident bravado, by riffing with one another.
Marine #89: We must think as General Lewis B. Puller said- “You don’t hurt ‘em if you don’t hit ‘em!”
Marine#90: As Lieutenant General Victor H. Krulak said –“Being ready is not what matters. What matters is winning after you get there.”
Marine #89 (laughs): Don’t forget Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daly- “Come on, you sons of b#$ches-do you want to live forever?”
A moment of silence ensues.
Marine #90: Master Sergeant Paul Woyshner- “Once a Marine, always a Marine!”
Marine #89: General Pershing- “The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle.”
The two marines grab their rifles and laugh. They then continue with their macho ranting.
Marine #90: A ship without Marines is like a garment without buttons; so said Admiral David Porter.
Marine #89: Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines don’t have that problem. President Ronald Reagan.
The two Marines give a shout out to the former President.
Marine #90: We stole the Eagle from the Airforce, the Anchor from the Navy and the Rope from the Army.
Marine #89: We live like soldiers, talk like sailors and slap the hell out of both of them.
Marine #90: As someone once said- “On the seventh day while G-d rested, we overran his perimeter, stole the globe and we’ve been running the whole show ever since.”
Marine #89: Warriors by day, lovers by night, professionals by choice, and Marines by the Grace of G-d.
The two smile and their minds wander once again, but not for long. Donald Pierce and Ewok #76 come from behind.
Pierce: No G-d here gentlemen.
Ewok #76 drives a spear through the chair which Marine #89 is sitting on and skewers the soldier to the kitchen piece.
Pierce blasts Marine #90.
Ewok #76: Nubnub. Gooweeha. Chubbooka.
Pierce: Never thought they would shut up myself. . .
Hayley’s Comets: Donald Pierce and Ewok #76 survive.
Brock Sampsons’ Fighting Murderflies: All dead.
HAYLEY’S COMETS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
-Isaac Disraeli
I look to the teams which will do battle at Nick Houslander’s home in this Week 2 Playoff Consolation Match. They are as follows:
The Comets: Donald Pierce and Ewok #76.
The Murderflies: Marines #89 and 90.
Let the battle begin. . .
The Murderfly Marines have returned from a golf outing and are somewhat inebriated. They sit down at Houslander’s kitchen table. They then decide to prepare for the match, which they believe will be over in mere seconds due to their overconfident bravado, by riffing with one another.
Marine #89: We must think as General Lewis B. Puller said- “You don’t hurt ‘em if you don’t hit ‘em!”
Marine#90: As Lieutenant General Victor H. Krulak said –“Being ready is not what matters. What matters is winning after you get there.”
Marine #89 (laughs): Don’t forget Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daly- “Come on, you sons of b#$ches-do you want to live forever?”
A moment of silence ensues.
Marine #90: Master Sergeant Paul Woyshner- “Once a Marine, always a Marine!”
Marine #89: General Pershing- “The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle.”
The two marines grab their rifles and laugh. They then continue with their macho ranting.
Marine #90: A ship without Marines is like a garment without buttons; so said Admiral David Porter.
Marine #89: Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines don’t have that problem. President Ronald Reagan.
The two Marines give a shout out to the former President.
Marine #90: We stole the Eagle from the Airforce, the Anchor from the Navy and the Rope from the Army.
Marine #89: We live like soldiers, talk like sailors and slap the hell out of both of them.
Marine #90: As someone once said- “On the seventh day while G-d rested, we overran his perimeter, stole the globe and we’ve been running the whole show ever since.”
Marine #89: Warriors by day, lovers by night, professionals by choice, and Marines by the Grace of G-d.
The two smile and their minds wander once again, but not for long. Donald Pierce and Ewok #76 come from behind.
Pierce: No G-d here gentlemen.
Ewok #76 drives a spear through the chair which Marine #89 is sitting on and skewers the soldier to the kitchen piece.
Pierce blasts Marine #90.
Ewok #76: Nubnub. Gooweeha. Chubbooka.
Pierce: Never thought they would shut up myself. . .
Hayley’s Comets: Donald Pierce and Ewok #76 survive.
Brock Sampsons’ Fighting Murderflies: All dead.
HAYLEY’S COMETS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
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