Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
2008 FFL ALL STAR GAME BALLOT
LOCATIONS
Michigan Stadium
The Batcave
Sodom and Gomorrah
Isla Nublar (Jurassic Park)
Rock Financial Showplace: During the Motor City Comic Con
Helm’s Deep (The Champions respective League will defend Helm’s Deep)
AMERICAN LEAGUE
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Horsemen of Apokolips
Achilles
Darkseid
Polaris
Sinestro
Supergirl
Scarlet Witch
TEAM
Superman
Neo
He-Man
Seraph
Blitzwing
Godzilla
The Outsiders
Galactus
Jack Baur
Mace Windu
Ajax
Barbarossa
Ares
The Untouchables
Deadpool
Megatron
Voodoo
Dr. Polaris
Legolas
Sith Lord #11 (Darth Reknit)
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches
Darth Vader
Doomsday
Wolverine
Trident
Sith Lord #3 (Darth Yardigan)
Nazgul #6
Team Fred
Namor, The Sub-Mariner
Phoenix (Rachel Summers)
Mimic
Vision
Super Skrull
Cyclops
Alice’s Wonder Team
Extinction Alice
Ram Man
Carlos Olivera
Jill Valentine
Sith Lord #1 (Darth Deez)
Goblin #1
Reign Supremacy
Cyborg Superman
Chuck Norris
Yaddle
Captain America
Iron Man
Sledgehammer
AL COACHES
Hannibal of Crete (Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches)
The Oracle (TEAM)
Vandal Savage (Horsemen of Apokolips)
Michael Corleone (Alice’s Wonder Team)
NATIONAL LEAGUE
NORTHERN CONFERENCE
Hannah Montana and Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos
Dave Bowman: The Starchild
Albus Dumbledore
Qui Gon Jinn
The Cloverfield Monster
Tracks
Agamemnon
Better Than All of You
Thanos
Green Lantern
Agent Smith
Mephisto
Predator #1
“The Nature Boy” Ric Flair
The Right Wing
Silver Surfer
Poseidon
Duncan Idaho Ghola #6
Nick Houslander
Ulysses S. Grant
John Stewart
Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies
Ron Popeil
Guy Gardner
Sandworm #1
Buttercup
Batgirl
Velma
SOUTHERN CONFERENCE
Legion of Doom
Darth Bane
Paul Atreides
Walker: Texas Ranger
Jet Jaguar
Eradicator
B.A. Baracus
Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade
John McClane
Obi Wan Kenobi
Gandalf
Emperor Palpatine
Even Piel
Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12
George Washington’s Slaves
Yoda
Optimus Prime
Thor
Martian Manhunter
Santa Claus
Sonny (From I, Robot)
The Syracuse Valley
Master Chief
Frenzy
Splinter
Darth Maul
Nightcrawler
Star Fox
NL COACHES
Napoleon Bonaparte (Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade)
Mike Huckabee (The Right Wing)
George Washington (George Washington’s Slaves)
Cobra Commander (Better Than All of You)
2008 FFL ALL STAR GAME RULES
· All player and head coach nominations will be made by Commissioner Josh Houslander.
· There will be six players from each team to be on the ballot.
· There will be four AL coaches and four NL coaches nominated to be on the ballot.
· You may NOT vote for your own head coach.
· You may only vote for ONE player from your own team.
· Vote for up to 20 players from the AL and 20 players from the NL.
· Each team will be made up of 20 players.
· There must be at least one player from each team making it in the All Star Game, but you do not have to vote for someone off of every team.
· You made make ONE write-in vote for each the AL and the NL.
· Any voting ties will be decided by Commissioner Josh Houslander.
· Deaths during the All Star Game DO NOT count.
· There will be six different battlefield locations to vote on as well.
· Non-members are allowed to cast votes, but please vote fairly.
· Ballots are due to Ryan Poteracki by May 17, 2008.
· The All Star Game will be at the BBQ following the Championship Game.
· There will be six players from each team to be on the ballot.
· There will be four AL coaches and four NL coaches nominated to be on the ballot.
· You may NOT vote for your own head coach.
· You may only vote for ONE player from your own team.
· Vote for up to 20 players from the AL and 20 players from the NL.
· Each team will be made up of 20 players.
· There must be at least one player from each team making it in the All Star Game, but you do not have to vote for someone off of every team.
· You made make ONE write-in vote for each the AL and the NL.
· Any voting ties will be decided by Commissioner Josh Houslander.
· Deaths during the All Star Game DO NOT count.
· There will be six different battlefield locations to vote on as well.
· Non-members are allowed to cast votes, but please vote fairly.
· Ballots are due to Ryan Poteracki by May 17, 2008.
· The All Star Game will be at the BBQ following the Championship Game.
Monday, April 21, 2008
MATCH OF THE WEEK: Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Austin (designated leader), Uniqua, Darth Vader, Sith Lord #3 (Darth Yardigan), Wolverine, Doomsday, Sentinal #4-6, Black Dragon #1-3, Green Dragon #1 & 2, & Warg Rider (w/ Wargs) #1 & 2.
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid (designated leader), Supergirl, Sinestro, Sabertooth, Shazam, Sunstorm, The Witch King, Achilles, Polaris, Cable, The Balrog of Moria, Sersi, & Elixir.
Achilles goes running out in front of his team with even more than his normal amount of excessive hubris. He has every intention of not just defeating the Backyardigans but of beating them even faster and worse than they (or in his mind him) defeated Team (formally Team Ed). He rushes out toward his opponents and quickly moves through their ranks unharmed to chop off the head of Austin. "Who is your leader now" yells Achilles as he picks up the kangeroo's head to showcase it to his enemies. "I believe that would be me" replies Darth Vader as he walks up slowly with his red lightsaber glowing. Darth Yardigan starts to walk up behind him but Lord Vader waves him away to let him know that this was a fight he would undertake alone. Achilles runs at Vader and jumps into the air with the intention of bringing his sword down inbetween the shoulder blades of the much larger Sith lord but Vader moves amazingly fast for a person who appears so bulky as he moves his body slightly to the side and simply flicks the direction of his wrist to cut off Achilles heal. "All to easy" Vader says. The Greek warrior lay on the ground with his god like essense removed as Vader allows Darth Yardigan to put the arrogant warrior out of his misery. Wolverine and Sabertooth notice each other from across the dessert and instantly run at each other. The 2 teams do not even attempt to interfere as they begin fiercely fighting, biting and clawing at each other. They instantly turn the sand around them red with each others blood but niether fighter lets up for a second. The 3 Sentinals take flight but Polaris makes fairly short work of them as she rips all 3 of them apart by simply looking at them. She is about to attack Wolverine's metal skeleton but Darkseid, referring to the epic battle going on between Sabertooth and Wolverine tells her to leave them alone. She then focuses her power on Darth Vader. She knows that there must be a decent amount of metal in his cyborg body suit but when she attempts to take control of it nothing happens. She thinks that she is feeling short of breath from trying so hard to use her powers until Vader reminds her and everyone on both teams that things do not have to be made of metal for him to take control of them, as he uses the force to pick her up off of the ground and force choke her. Doomsday jumps into action towards The Witch King causing even the sand beneath their feet to want to retreat from the pure evil that is trouncing upon it. Doomsday's superior strength and speed should be enough to defeat The Witch King but luckily for the most evil of all the Nazgul, The Balrog of Moria (who did not even notice that he stepped on Uniqua on the way) as well as Sunstorm come to his aid to help in the fight against Doomsday. The 2 Warg riders come running up toward The Horsemen but Cable takes control of the minds of the 2 riders and makes them pull out their scimitars and stab their own wargs in the backs of their necks to kill them. The 2 orcs are then thrown from their Mordor steeds onto the sandy plains where Cable uses his futuristic rifle to blow them both away. Darkseid believes he is going to have to take on Vader himself if they are going to defeat the Backyardigans but even he wants help so he brings Supergirl with him on his way to do battle with Vader and his apprentice. Darkseid and Supergirl have both seen what lightsabers are capable of since they have been apart of this league which is why they do what they can to keep the fight one of ranged attacks instead of melee. They shoot both Heat vision and Omega Beams mostly unsuccessfullly at the 2 Sith but Darkseid does notice that Vader is pulling his Omega Beams toward his own lightsaber which Darkseid takes as a sign that Vader knows that Darth Yardigan is not powerful enough to handle them. Sinestro, Sersi, and Shazam take to the air and begin doing battle with the 3 Black Dragons while the 2 Green Dragons do a fly by over Cable and coat him with their poisonous breath resulting in a most unpleasant death for the mutant. Sinestro leads the 2 crazy do-gooders on a divide and conquer mission of the 3 dragons. Black Dragon #3 coats Sersi in acid but other than effecting her momentum in the air it has basically no effect on her. She blasts the dragon with cosmic energy to knock it backwards and then rips the dragon's head off of its body. Shazam comes up behind Black Dragon #2 and wraps his powerful arms around its neck. He strangles the dragon into submission and then allows it to plummet to its death. Sinestro refuses to be outdone by the 2 heros as he uses his yellow power ring to create a huge yellow dragon which then consumes Black Dragon #1. Elixir is briefly knocked to the ground as he is hit by the flying head of Sabertooth that was just kicked at him by the victorious Wolverine. The blood covered Wolverine allows his mutant healing factor to take over after he finally used his claws to finish off his much larger arch-enemy. Darkseid ignores his own fight for an extremely brief amount of time to give orders to his troops but it may have been to long. Supergirl sees Darth Vader rushing Darkseid and she flies over to help. Vader takes advantage of the second that Darkseid spent ignoring the fight to force push him onto the ground. Supergirl flies up behind Darth Vader to land a haymaker into the back of his helmeted head but Vader does not even bother to turn around because of his utmost confidence in Lord Yardigan having his back. Right before Supergirl lands what could have possibly been a death-dealing blow Darth Yardigan sticks his crimson lightsaber through her back. Lying on the ground looking up at an attacker is not a situation that the ruler of Apokolips is usually used to and not one that is going to scare him. Darkseid shoots a potent dose of Omega Beam action at Vader but Vader lifts his lightsaber to not only block the attack but to deliver it right back at him, frying Darkseid with their combined powers. Although The Horsemen's leader is dead his orders live on. Right before he died he ordered Sunstorm to do what he does best. The Witch King has done a tremendous job of keeping Doomsday at bay and The Balrog has so far been able to sustain what Doomsday has dished out even with Doomsday slamming into him numerous times but Darkseid knew that he needed to do something to unleash his teammates evil onto Doomsday in hopes that it would clash with his. No one in The Horsemen of Apokolips locker room is quite sure why Sunstorm has developed such an unwavering devotion to Darkseid, Vandal Savage and Apokolips, but they are definitely glad he has. Sunstorm using an almost identical attack as the one used on Galactus crashes himself into the decimated area where Doomsday has been doing battle with the 2 agents of Mordor's particular brand of evil. It is a good thing that there is not a single non-super powered person from either team on the ground as Sunstorm hits because they would of no way survived the explosion of evil and sheer power that was released as this nuclear kamikaze crash disrupts and destroys this trio of hate and destrustion. Sinestro sees that Darkseid failed in his portion of the mission but before he leads his team to fight them he goes on one last Dragon hunt. Sinestro uses his yellow ring to create 2 huge leashes which he lassos around the necks of the 2 green dragons to slow them down so Sersi and Shazam can swoop in to each take one out. Wolverine regroups with the 2 Sith Lords right before Sinestro, Sersi, and Shazam land in front of them. Elixir runs over to help his team as well but he then leaves the area when he notices that there is a better use for his powers. Supergirl is laying on the ground with a fairly large hole in her chest when Elixir approaches. Supergirl knows that the wound is surely fatal as she only wishes that she could muster up enough energy to lend her team just a little bit more help. Supergirl orders Elixir to get back to the fight and help their team but he does not listen. Elixir puts his hands over Supergirl's wounds and then uses his mutant powers to heal her. Elixir then promptly runs back to the battle to help out his team. Elixir knows full well what his ability to change molecular structures and mutant abilities is going to do to Wolverine which is why he runs up to him first. When Wolverine gets to close to Elixir he starts to bleed from many spots on his body as old wounds that his healing factor corrected reopen. Wolverine fights through the pain though as he pops open his claws and says "You don't need a healing factor to do this bub" as he sticks his adamantium claws into Elixir's head. Sersi swoops in to attack Vader but The Dark Lord of the Sith's teammates jump in to protect him. Wolverine and Darth Yardigan both stab her but are shocked when this does not end her life. They then both go into a rage slicing her to ribbons as Darth Vader then uses the force to rip her apart and scatter her atoms into the dessert wind. Sinestro takes to the air and begins taking pot shots of yellow energy at the 3 remaining Backyardigans. The 2 Sith Lords block the shots with their lightsabers but one of the larger shots knocks Wolverine to the ground. Sinestro suddenely appears in front of Wolverine as Logan pops back up to stick his claws into the yellow lantern's chest. Wolverine is confused as his arm goes right through the hologram that Sinestro just created with his power ring as the real Sinestro flies up behind the mutant and creates a giant blade which slices Wolverine in half and fills both sides of his body with enough yellow power to dematerialize every last cell. Darth Yardigan from about 20 yards away avenges his teammate by throwing his lightsaber at Sinestro and putting it into his chest, hitting him exactly where Wolverine thought he was putting his claws. Although the success of this throw was undeniable the attack itself was a rather foolish one because it left the Sith Lord open for an attack from Shazam, who uses his super strength to crush in the head of Darth Yardigan. Darth Vader sees this happen and breaks into one of his intense Sith rages that he is oh-so famous for. Lord Vader force pushes Shazam into a rock and sticks his lightsaber into Capt. Marvel's leg. The Sith Lord then pumps Shazam full of his own brand of Sith lightning reminding him of his lack of foresight in thinking that he could compete with the powers of the dark side of the force. Shazam may not be savable but the healed up Supergirl knows that the battle still is, as she flies up behind Darth Vader at a speed faster than the speed of sound. The last thing the dying Shazam hears is Vader yell "WHAT" as he he hears what sounds like a jumbo jet approaching. This time Darth Yardigan is not there to save his master when Supergirl uses all of her Kryptonian strength to uppercut Vader in the helmet disrupting the life support mechanisms of his suit and causing him severe head trauma.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid (designated leader), Supergirl, Sinestro, Sabertooth, Shazam, Sunstorm, The Witch King, Achilles, Polaris, Cable, The Balrog of Moria, Sersi, & Elixir.
Achilles goes running out in front of his team with even more than his normal amount of excessive hubris. He has every intention of not just defeating the Backyardigans but of beating them even faster and worse than they (or in his mind him) defeated Team (formally Team Ed). He rushes out toward his opponents and quickly moves through their ranks unharmed to chop off the head of Austin. "Who is your leader now" yells Achilles as he picks up the kangeroo's head to showcase it to his enemies. "I believe that would be me" replies Darth Vader as he walks up slowly with his red lightsaber glowing. Darth Yardigan starts to walk up behind him but Lord Vader waves him away to let him know that this was a fight he would undertake alone. Achilles runs at Vader and jumps into the air with the intention of bringing his sword down inbetween the shoulder blades of the much larger Sith lord but Vader moves amazingly fast for a person who appears so bulky as he moves his body slightly to the side and simply flicks the direction of his wrist to cut off Achilles heal. "All to easy" Vader says. The Greek warrior lay on the ground with his god like essense removed as Vader allows Darth Yardigan to put the arrogant warrior out of his misery. Wolverine and Sabertooth notice each other from across the dessert and instantly run at each other. The 2 teams do not even attempt to interfere as they begin fiercely fighting, biting and clawing at each other. They instantly turn the sand around them red with each others blood but niether fighter lets up for a second. The 3 Sentinals take flight but Polaris makes fairly short work of them as she rips all 3 of them apart by simply looking at them. She is about to attack Wolverine's metal skeleton but Darkseid, referring to the epic battle going on between Sabertooth and Wolverine tells her to leave them alone. She then focuses her power on Darth Vader. She knows that there must be a decent amount of metal in his cyborg body suit but when she attempts to take control of it nothing happens. She thinks that she is feeling short of breath from trying so hard to use her powers until Vader reminds her and everyone on both teams that things do not have to be made of metal for him to take control of them, as he uses the force to pick her up off of the ground and force choke her. Doomsday jumps into action towards The Witch King causing even the sand beneath their feet to want to retreat from the pure evil that is trouncing upon it. Doomsday's superior strength and speed should be enough to defeat The Witch King but luckily for the most evil of all the Nazgul, The Balrog of Moria (who did not even notice that he stepped on Uniqua on the way) as well as Sunstorm come to his aid to help in the fight against Doomsday. The 2 Warg riders come running up toward The Horsemen but Cable takes control of the minds of the 2 riders and makes them pull out their scimitars and stab their own wargs in the backs of their necks to kill them. The 2 orcs are then thrown from their Mordor steeds onto the sandy plains where Cable uses his futuristic rifle to blow them both away. Darkseid believes he is going to have to take on Vader himself if they are going to defeat the Backyardigans but even he wants help so he brings Supergirl with him on his way to do battle with Vader and his apprentice. Darkseid and Supergirl have both seen what lightsabers are capable of since they have been apart of this league which is why they do what they can to keep the fight one of ranged attacks instead of melee. They shoot both Heat vision and Omega Beams mostly unsuccessfullly at the 2 Sith but Darkseid does notice that Vader is pulling his Omega Beams toward his own lightsaber which Darkseid takes as a sign that Vader knows that Darth Yardigan is not powerful enough to handle them. Sinestro, Sersi, and Shazam take to the air and begin doing battle with the 3 Black Dragons while the 2 Green Dragons do a fly by over Cable and coat him with their poisonous breath resulting in a most unpleasant death for the mutant. Sinestro leads the 2 crazy do-gooders on a divide and conquer mission of the 3 dragons. Black Dragon #3 coats Sersi in acid but other than effecting her momentum in the air it has basically no effect on her. She blasts the dragon with cosmic energy to knock it backwards and then rips the dragon's head off of its body. Shazam comes up behind Black Dragon #2 and wraps his powerful arms around its neck. He strangles the dragon into submission and then allows it to plummet to its death. Sinestro refuses to be outdone by the 2 heros as he uses his yellow power ring to create a huge yellow dragon which then consumes Black Dragon #1. Elixir is briefly knocked to the ground as he is hit by the flying head of Sabertooth that was just kicked at him by the victorious Wolverine. The blood covered Wolverine allows his mutant healing factor to take over after he finally used his claws to finish off his much larger arch-enemy. Darkseid ignores his own fight for an extremely brief amount of time to give orders to his troops but it may have been to long. Supergirl sees Darth Vader rushing Darkseid and she flies over to help. Vader takes advantage of the second that Darkseid spent ignoring the fight to force push him onto the ground. Supergirl flies up behind Darth Vader to land a haymaker into the back of his helmeted head but Vader does not even bother to turn around because of his utmost confidence in Lord Yardigan having his back. Right before Supergirl lands what could have possibly been a death-dealing blow Darth Yardigan sticks his crimson lightsaber through her back. Lying on the ground looking up at an attacker is not a situation that the ruler of Apokolips is usually used to and not one that is going to scare him. Darkseid shoots a potent dose of Omega Beam action at Vader but Vader lifts his lightsaber to not only block the attack but to deliver it right back at him, frying Darkseid with their combined powers. Although The Horsemen's leader is dead his orders live on. Right before he died he ordered Sunstorm to do what he does best. The Witch King has done a tremendous job of keeping Doomsday at bay and The Balrog has so far been able to sustain what Doomsday has dished out even with Doomsday slamming into him numerous times but Darkseid knew that he needed to do something to unleash his teammates evil onto Doomsday in hopes that it would clash with his. No one in The Horsemen of Apokolips locker room is quite sure why Sunstorm has developed such an unwavering devotion to Darkseid, Vandal Savage and Apokolips, but they are definitely glad he has. Sunstorm using an almost identical attack as the one used on Galactus crashes himself into the decimated area where Doomsday has been doing battle with the 2 agents of Mordor's particular brand of evil. It is a good thing that there is not a single non-super powered person from either team on the ground as Sunstorm hits because they would of no way survived the explosion of evil and sheer power that was released as this nuclear kamikaze crash disrupts and destroys this trio of hate and destrustion. Sinestro sees that Darkseid failed in his portion of the mission but before he leads his team to fight them he goes on one last Dragon hunt. Sinestro uses his yellow ring to create 2 huge leashes which he lassos around the necks of the 2 green dragons to slow them down so Sersi and Shazam can swoop in to each take one out. Wolverine regroups with the 2 Sith Lords right before Sinestro, Sersi, and Shazam land in front of them. Elixir runs over to help his team as well but he then leaves the area when he notices that there is a better use for his powers. Supergirl is laying on the ground with a fairly large hole in her chest when Elixir approaches. Supergirl knows that the wound is surely fatal as she only wishes that she could muster up enough energy to lend her team just a little bit more help. Supergirl orders Elixir to get back to the fight and help their team but he does not listen. Elixir puts his hands over Supergirl's wounds and then uses his mutant powers to heal her. Elixir then promptly runs back to the battle to help out his team. Elixir knows full well what his ability to change molecular structures and mutant abilities is going to do to Wolverine which is why he runs up to him first. When Wolverine gets to close to Elixir he starts to bleed from many spots on his body as old wounds that his healing factor corrected reopen. Wolverine fights through the pain though as he pops open his claws and says "You don't need a healing factor to do this bub" as he sticks his adamantium claws into Elixir's head. Sersi swoops in to attack Vader but The Dark Lord of the Sith's teammates jump in to protect him. Wolverine and Darth Yardigan both stab her but are shocked when this does not end her life. They then both go into a rage slicing her to ribbons as Darth Vader then uses the force to rip her apart and scatter her atoms into the dessert wind. Sinestro takes to the air and begins taking pot shots of yellow energy at the 3 remaining Backyardigans. The 2 Sith Lords block the shots with their lightsabers but one of the larger shots knocks Wolverine to the ground. Sinestro suddenely appears in front of Wolverine as Logan pops back up to stick his claws into the yellow lantern's chest. Wolverine is confused as his arm goes right through the hologram that Sinestro just created with his power ring as the real Sinestro flies up behind the mutant and creates a giant blade which slices Wolverine in half and fills both sides of his body with enough yellow power to dematerialize every last cell. Darth Yardigan from about 20 yards away avenges his teammate by throwing his lightsaber at Sinestro and putting it into his chest, hitting him exactly where Wolverine thought he was putting his claws. Although the success of this throw was undeniable the attack itself was a rather foolish one because it left the Sith Lord open for an attack from Shazam, who uses his super strength to crush in the head of Darth Yardigan. Darth Vader sees this happen and breaks into one of his intense Sith rages that he is oh-so famous for. Lord Vader force pushes Shazam into a rock and sticks his lightsaber into Capt. Marvel's leg. The Sith Lord then pumps Shazam full of his own brand of Sith lightning reminding him of his lack of foresight in thinking that he could compete with the powers of the dark side of the force. Shazam may not be savable but the healed up Supergirl knows that the battle still is, as she flies up behind Darth Vader at a speed faster than the speed of sound. The last thing the dying Shazam hears is Vader yell "WHAT" as he he hears what sounds like a jumbo jet approaching. This time Darth Yardigan is not there to save his master when Supergirl uses all of her Kryptonian strength to uppercut Vader in the helmet disrupting the life support mechanisms of his suit and causing him severe head trauma.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Alice's Wonder Team is Extinction Alice (designated leader), Apocylypse Alice, Leeloo, Carlos Olivera, Ram Man, Kimbo Slice, Tyler Derdon, Lucca Brazzi, Jill Valentine, Sith Lord #1 & 2, Vampire #1-6, Mummy #1-6, Goblin #1 & 2, & Storm Trooper #50.
The Untouchables are Megatron (designated leader), Deadpool, Legolas, The Insecticons, Duncan Idaho Ghola #9, Huntress, Ant Man, Nazgul #9 w/ Fell Beast, Fremen #43-54, Eclipso, & Tomar Tu.
Alice’s Wonder Team is teleported to the desert and is in dire need of a victory. The playoffs are still within their reach, but a win tonight is vital. However they are at a major disadvantage against the much larger and more powerful team of The Untouchables. Luca Brasi is extremely fed up with the streak of losses his team has suffered. The Italian enforcer jumps into action. He grabs Duncan Idaho Ghola #9 and crushes his larynx, killing him. Huntress spin kicks the hit man in the jaw, but does little damage. He knocks her to the ground and then proceeds to shoot her in the hands with her own crossbow. The Untouchables try to attack Luca Brasi, but his teammates come to his aid. Alice’s Wonder Team rushes the members of The Untouchables, but is met with disastrous results. Nazgul #9 flies up upon his Fell Beast, and kills Goblin #1 and 2, as well as Storm Trooper #50. Luca finally finishes off brutally killing Huntress and attacks Tomar Tu with his blood soaked hands. The Green Lantern makes himself a Tommy Gun out of green energy and pumps Luca full of green bullets. The Fremen leap out of the sand and lay waste to Mummies #1-6 without hesitation. They, however, are not satisfied with this victory. Their crysknives did not taste blood, since the Mummies do not have blood. They gut the Vampires quickly with only Fremen #46 and 47 dying in the process. “Waitwaitwaitwait! Damn it! I wanted to kill some vampires too!” exclaims Deadpool as he runs in too late. With his head hung low, he depressingly continues to fight, shooting Jill Valentine and Tyler Derdon. Deadpool perks up after doing this when he says, “The first rule of Fight Club is don’t fight Deadpool.” Extinction Alice goes to use her mind powers but grabs her head in agony. She screams violently while holding her head. Her nose begins bleeding as you see a tiny molecule come out of her ear. It was Ant Man, who increased his size just microscopically while inside the brain cavity of Extinction Alice. She drops dead. Megatron has had enough of this playing around and wishes to finish this battle. He blasts Kimbo Slice and Ram Man with his Fusion Cannon. Leeloo squares off against Legolas, matching him in speed and agility. She is gaining the upper hand in the battle, but is caught off guard by Eclipso who kills her with blast from his eye beams courtesy of his black diamond. Darth Deez and Darth Nutz then go on a vicious offensive, amazingly killing Fremen #48-54 in a haze of sand and blurring red lightsabers. Kickback and Shrapnel land in front of the Sith Lords transformed in robot modes, but Bombshell sneaks behind them and attaches cerebro-shells to the backs of their necks. He then takes control of their minds and orders them to attack Apocalypse Alice and Carlos Olivera. They attack Alice first and cut her to pieces using their lightsabers. Carlos Olivera is able to shoot Darth Nutz in the back, but is then killed by Darth Deez with a Force choke. Deadpool finishes the battle by vaporizing Darth Nutz after catching a transformed Megatron, and blasting him away.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Untouchables are Megatron (designated leader), Deadpool, Legolas, The Insecticons, Duncan Idaho Ghola #9, Huntress, Ant Man, Nazgul #9 w/ Fell Beast, Fremen #43-54, Eclipso, & Tomar Tu.
Alice’s Wonder Team is teleported to the desert and is in dire need of a victory. The playoffs are still within their reach, but a win tonight is vital. However they are at a major disadvantage against the much larger and more powerful team of The Untouchables. Luca Brasi is extremely fed up with the streak of losses his team has suffered. The Italian enforcer jumps into action. He grabs Duncan Idaho Ghola #9 and crushes his larynx, killing him. Huntress spin kicks the hit man in the jaw, but does little damage. He knocks her to the ground and then proceeds to shoot her in the hands with her own crossbow. The Untouchables try to attack Luca Brasi, but his teammates come to his aid. Alice’s Wonder Team rushes the members of The Untouchables, but is met with disastrous results. Nazgul #9 flies up upon his Fell Beast, and kills Goblin #1 and 2, as well as Storm Trooper #50. Luca finally finishes off brutally killing Huntress and attacks Tomar Tu with his blood soaked hands. The Green Lantern makes himself a Tommy Gun out of green energy and pumps Luca full of green bullets. The Fremen leap out of the sand and lay waste to Mummies #1-6 without hesitation. They, however, are not satisfied with this victory. Their crysknives did not taste blood, since the Mummies do not have blood. They gut the Vampires quickly with only Fremen #46 and 47 dying in the process. “Waitwaitwaitwait! Damn it! I wanted to kill some vampires too!” exclaims Deadpool as he runs in too late. With his head hung low, he depressingly continues to fight, shooting Jill Valentine and Tyler Derdon. Deadpool perks up after doing this when he says, “The first rule of Fight Club is don’t fight Deadpool.” Extinction Alice goes to use her mind powers but grabs her head in agony. She screams violently while holding her head. Her nose begins bleeding as you see a tiny molecule come out of her ear. It was Ant Man, who increased his size just microscopically while inside the brain cavity of Extinction Alice. She drops dead. Megatron has had enough of this playing around and wishes to finish this battle. He blasts Kimbo Slice and Ram Man with his Fusion Cannon. Leeloo squares off against Legolas, matching him in speed and agility. She is gaining the upper hand in the battle, but is caught off guard by Eclipso who kills her with blast from his eye beams courtesy of his black diamond. Darth Deez and Darth Nutz then go on a vicious offensive, amazingly killing Fremen #48-54 in a haze of sand and blurring red lightsabers. Kickback and Shrapnel land in front of the Sith Lords transformed in robot modes, but Bombshell sneaks behind them and attaches cerebro-shells to the backs of their necks. He then takes control of their minds and orders them to attack Apocalypse Alice and Carlos Olivera. They attack Alice first and cut her to pieces using their lightsabers. Carlos Olivera is able to shoot Darth Nutz in the back, but is then killed by Darth Deez with a Force choke. Deadpool finishes the battle by vaporizing Darth Nutz after catching a transformed Megatron, and blasting him away.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Better Than All of You Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Better Than All of You is Hal Jordan, Rob Van Dam, Sabu, Agent Smith, Ghost Rider, The Terminator (T1), The Terminator (T2), Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, Beachhead, Doc Holiday, Mephisto, John Rambo, Lex Luthor, Predator #1-2, Cobra Viper #1-6.
George Washington's Slaves are Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1, Jedi Youngling #1, Fell Beasts #1-6, Sauron, Sandworms #15-20, Duncan Idaho Ghola #7, Thor, Arisia, and Martian Manhunter.
Better Than All of You is instantaneously ambushed by the Sandworms on George Washington’s Slaves. They all scatter to evade the destruction. The Sandworms devour all six Cobra Vipers in an instant. Rambo and Ghost Rider mange to jump aboard two Sandworms. Rambo isn’t able to gain control of the giant creature, so he starts stabbing it repeatedly with his knife. Ghost Rider wraps his Hellfire chain around Sandworm #18 and wrangles control from it. He turns the Sandworm towards its own team. The Sandworm swallows Duncan Idaho Ghola #7 and Thor. The Norse God blast through the Sandworm’s stomach, killing it. Ghost Rider leaps off of the dead monster and is attacked by Jedi Master #1 and is cut in half by his lightsaber. Rambo finally manages to kill Sandworm #16 by shoving a grenade into one of the stab wounds he made. Rambo jumps off just before the monster blows up. Predators #1 and 2 shoot the sand with their rocket launchers in order to cause the Sandworms to expose themselves again. This is exactly what happens. The Predators then pull out their maker hooks, which they acquired from earlier hunts on Arrakis. They both leap onto the Sandworms and dig the hooks deep into them. They steer them into each other killing Sandworms #19 and 20. The Predators then fire grappling hooks at Fell Beasts #1 and 2’s who are soaring high above the desert. They are pulled into the air by the beasts. Shaak Ti and Ki Adi Mundi are attacked by blood brothers Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. The Jedi’s lightsabers easily cut through the ninja’s katana blades. The ninja’s respond with a flurry of kicks and strikes that is fast enough to connect with the Jedi. Snake Eyes kicks Ki Adi Mundi’s lightsaber out of his hand towards Storm Shadow who catches it just in time to block Shaak Ti’s own lightsaber attack. Snake Eyes then double chops Ki Adi’s large head causing a brain aneurism, killing the Jedi Master. He then picks up the fallen Jedi’s lightsaber and helps Storm Shadow against one of the Jedi Order’s greatest lightsaber duelist. The ninjas are great fighters but are no match at the end against Shaak Ti’s abilities. She strikes down Storm Shadow, and then dispatches the silent G.I. Joe. Doc Holliday fires off his two six shot revolvers at amazing speeds, shooting down Fell Beast #3. The Predators finally climb up on top of the two Fell Beasts and direct them into a full dive right at Arisia and Martian Manhunter. All of a sudden the two remaining Sandworms blast out of the sand and swallow both the Fell Beasts and the Predators. The Sandworms then continue their carnage by eating RVD (Go ahead Joe, do the thumb point, we’ll wait. R. V. D. Done? Can we continue? Ok, thanks.) and Sabu. The latter actually jumps into the mouth of Sandworm #17. (Man wasn’t that an EXTREME move?) Beachhead, Rambo, and Doc Holliday all double back to Lex Luthor and Mephisto for further instructions. They are cut off by Thor who uses Mjolnir to bash Beachhead’s…well… head in. He then punches Doc Holliday in the gut so hard that he finally actually coughs his lungs right up onto the sand. Rambo attempts to fight the Norse God but is sideswiped by Martian Manhunter. Rambo is killed when J’onn J’onzz blasts him with his eye beams. Arisia is attacked by Lex Luthor. He is able to land some powerful blows with his armor, but the Green Lantern impales him with a lance made out of green energy. Hal Jordan goes to confront his former lover but is blasted by Sauron. The Green Lantern tries to fight back, but since the One Ring is made of gold (and evil gold at that) he is greatly struggling. Sauron wails on Jordan with his mace and is blasting him with a constant stream of evil magic. Sauron then picks Hal Jordan up and throws him at the Terminators. Hal manages to pull up a force field at the last second, but in doing so, destroys his two teammates. A broken and bloodied Jordan refuses to stay down. He fires blast after blast at Sauron, slowing him down, but not stopping him. Sauron fills his mace with evil magic and bring it down on the beaten Green Lantern, finally killing him. Mephisto teleports himself in front of Sauron and shows him what true evil is. Mephisto conjures up all of his magic and releases upon Sauron, completely obliterating him. Agent Smith meanwhile, has been able to kill Jedi Youngling #1 and Jedi Master #1. The two final members of Better Than All of You are then surrounded by Shaak Ti, Thor, Arisia, and Martian Manhunter. They prepare themselves for one final attack, but the ground beneath them erupts and Sandworms #15 and 17 consume them.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
George Washington's Slaves are Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1, Jedi Youngling #1, Fell Beasts #1-6, Sauron, Sandworms #15-20, Duncan Idaho Ghola #7, Thor, Arisia, and Martian Manhunter.
Better Than All of You is instantaneously ambushed by the Sandworms on George Washington’s Slaves. They all scatter to evade the destruction. The Sandworms devour all six Cobra Vipers in an instant. Rambo and Ghost Rider mange to jump aboard two Sandworms. Rambo isn’t able to gain control of the giant creature, so he starts stabbing it repeatedly with his knife. Ghost Rider wraps his Hellfire chain around Sandworm #18 and wrangles control from it. He turns the Sandworm towards its own team. The Sandworm swallows Duncan Idaho Ghola #7 and Thor. The Norse God blast through the Sandworm’s stomach, killing it. Ghost Rider leaps off of the dead monster and is attacked by Jedi Master #1 and is cut in half by his lightsaber. Rambo finally manages to kill Sandworm #16 by shoving a grenade into one of the stab wounds he made. Rambo jumps off just before the monster blows up. Predators #1 and 2 shoot the sand with their rocket launchers in order to cause the Sandworms to expose themselves again. This is exactly what happens. The Predators then pull out their maker hooks, which they acquired from earlier hunts on Arrakis. They both leap onto the Sandworms and dig the hooks deep into them. They steer them into each other killing Sandworms #19 and 20. The Predators then fire grappling hooks at Fell Beasts #1 and 2’s who are soaring high above the desert. They are pulled into the air by the beasts. Shaak Ti and Ki Adi Mundi are attacked by blood brothers Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. The Jedi’s lightsabers easily cut through the ninja’s katana blades. The ninja’s respond with a flurry of kicks and strikes that is fast enough to connect with the Jedi. Snake Eyes kicks Ki Adi Mundi’s lightsaber out of his hand towards Storm Shadow who catches it just in time to block Shaak Ti’s own lightsaber attack. Snake Eyes then double chops Ki Adi’s large head causing a brain aneurism, killing the Jedi Master. He then picks up the fallen Jedi’s lightsaber and helps Storm Shadow against one of the Jedi Order’s greatest lightsaber duelist. The ninjas are great fighters but are no match at the end against Shaak Ti’s abilities. She strikes down Storm Shadow, and then dispatches the silent G.I. Joe. Doc Holliday fires off his two six shot revolvers at amazing speeds, shooting down Fell Beast #3. The Predators finally climb up on top of the two Fell Beasts and direct them into a full dive right at Arisia and Martian Manhunter. All of a sudden the two remaining Sandworms blast out of the sand and swallow both the Fell Beasts and the Predators. The Sandworms then continue their carnage by eating RVD (Go ahead Joe, do the thumb point, we’ll wait. R. V. D. Done? Can we continue? Ok, thanks.) and Sabu. The latter actually jumps into the mouth of Sandworm #17. (Man wasn’t that an EXTREME move?) Beachhead, Rambo, and Doc Holliday all double back to Lex Luthor and Mephisto for further instructions. They are cut off by Thor who uses Mjolnir to bash Beachhead’s…well… head in. He then punches Doc Holliday in the gut so hard that he finally actually coughs his lungs right up onto the sand. Rambo attempts to fight the Norse God but is sideswiped by Martian Manhunter. Rambo is killed when J’onn J’onzz blasts him with his eye beams. Arisia is attacked by Lex Luthor. He is able to land some powerful blows with his armor, but the Green Lantern impales him with a lance made out of green energy. Hal Jordan goes to confront his former lover but is blasted by Sauron. The Green Lantern tries to fight back, but since the One Ring is made of gold (and evil gold at that) he is greatly struggling. Sauron wails on Jordan with his mace and is blasting him with a constant stream of evil magic. Sauron then picks Hal Jordan up and throws him at the Terminators. Hal manages to pull up a force field at the last second, but in doing so, destroys his two teammates. A broken and bloodied Jordan refuses to stay down. He fires blast after blast at Sauron, slowing him down, but not stopping him. Sauron fills his mace with evil magic and bring it down on the beaten Green Lantern, finally killing him. Mephisto teleports himself in front of Sauron and shows him what true evil is. Mephisto conjures up all of his magic and releases upon Sauron, completely obliterating him. Agent Smith meanwhile, has been able to kill Jedi Youngling #1 and Jedi Master #1. The two final members of Better Than All of You are then surrounded by Shaak Ti, Thor, Arisia, and Martian Manhunter. They prepare themselves for one final attack, but the ground beneath them erupts and Sandworms #15 and 17 consume them.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is Dave Bowman, Qui Gon Jinn, Dr. Alan Grant, Dr. Ellie Sattler, Juda Ben Hur, Bizarro Superman, General Grievous, Azeem, Ms. Marvel, Maxima, Angel, Black Dragon #1, Hannah Montana, Jar Jar Binks, Dozer #1, Thundarr the Barbarian, Princess Ariel, Ookla the Mok, The Herculoids w/Humanoids: Zok, Igoo, Tundro, Gloop, Gleep, Zandor, Tarra, and Dorno, Horse #12-15.
The Syracuse Valley is Omega Red, Darth Maul, Sith Lord #4 (Darth Rave), Casey Jones, Splinter, Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, & Ratbat, Master Chief, Nightcrawler, Venom, Zit, Rash, & Pimple, Star Fox, Sonic the Hedgehog & Tails, Bossk, Mcgruff the Crime Dog, Xenomorph #85, Fire Bros. #1 & 2, Little Goomba #1, Moritanti Soldier #1, & Treasure Troll #4.
Riding on his chariot, Juda Ben Hur leads the charge for his team against the hungry Syracuse Valley. Both are coming off losses in last week’s battles. The Commandos are trying to clinch their division, and a victory here in the sand would bring them closer to that goal. Ben Hur races towards the enemy and tramples Little Goomba #1 beneath his horses’ hooves. He then hurls his spear with great accuracy, impaling Master Chief. This death comes as a major shock to the rest of the Syracuse Valley. The remainder of the Commandos blitz the stunned Valley and tear through their ranks. Tundro spins his head at blinding speed, drilling it directly into Soundwave’s chest, who did not have time to eject more than just Rumble and Frenzy. Zok flies overhead with Black Dragon #1 and they lay waste to the Battletoads with a combo of fire and acid breath. As they fly away, Zok fires a laser beam from his tail, killing Casey Jones. Star Fox takes aim and, along with Bossk, shoots and kills Zandor, Tarra and Dorno. This sends Igoo into a primal rage, due to his fondness and devotion to Tarra. He crushes Star Fox, rips Bossk in half, and “takes a bite” out of McGruff. Ben Hur steers his chariot around for another pass but his horses are all killed by the twirling lightsabers of Darth Maul and his apprentice, Darth Rave. Ben Hur is thrown from his chariot. Darth Maul goes to finish off Juda but is blocked by a familiar green lightsaber. Qui Gon Jinn’s. “I believe we have unfinished business, you and I,” says the Jedi Master. Darth Rave attempts to ambush Qui Gon from behind, but is intercepted by Thundarr the Barbarian. Rave’s two lightsabers clash with Thundarr’s Sun-Sword. Rave is able to move around much more fluidly than the aggressive barbarian, almost dancing around him. Qui Gon and Darth Maul battle each other much like they did on Tatooine, but Qui Gon is prepared for this battle. (By the way, go ahead and begin listening to “Duel of the Fates” by John Williams if you own it.) Anyways, back to the awesome fight. With the open desert backdrop, Qui Gon is able to freely utilize his Form IV practices. He is able to blind even the agile Darth Maul with a flurry of acrobatic flips and jumps, while constantly being on the offensive. This catches Darth Maul completely off guard. Maul reacts with anger and frustration. This is where his downfall begins. Qui Gon cuts Maul’s lightsaber in half as he flips over his head. Then he force pushes him off of his feet. When the Sith Lord attempts to flip back up on his feet, he is met with an ironic lightsaber right through his stomach. Qui Gon moves to aid Thundarr who is losing his fight with the faster and more agile Darth Rave. “Wait for my signal Thundarr,” says Qui Gon. The arrogant and relatively inexperienced Rave fires his specially modified lightsabers at both opponents. “Now!” shouts Qui Gon, as both he and Thundarr dodge the oncoming lightsaber blades. They simultaneously cut the chains attached to Rave’s lightsabers and quickly finish off the Sith Lord. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles along with Splinter then spring into action. Raphael immediately punts Dozer #1 into next week. Splinter and Azeem square off with great respect and honor. Splinter defeats him after he butterfly kicks Azeem’s sword out of his hands, and drives his cane sword into Azeem’s heart. Ms. Marvel and Maxima team up to eliminate Donatello and Michelangelo. Gloop and Gleep split themselves into multiples smaller protoplastic creatures. They form themselves into sharp spikes and launch themselves at Leo and Raph, killing the last two Turtles. Jar Jar Binks was killed in the meantime by Treasure Troll #4 in a battle over who was the more useless character out on the battlefield. The Treasure Troll is then picked up by Bizarro and stuffed into his pocket. The Treasure Troll suffocates due to Bizarro’s backwards thinking. (i.e. Superman always washes his tights, so Bizarro… well you get the point.) Bizarro then flies through the Fire Brothers’ barrage of fire balls and freezes them with his freeze vision. General Grievous eviscerates Xenomorph #85 with his four lightsabers but is then decapitated by Nightcrawler who teleported behind him. Dr. Alan Grant and Dr. Ellie Sattler tackle Moritani Soldier #1 to the ground. Grant pulls the Raptor claw from his pocket and cuts the Soldier across the belly, spilling his intestines. Sonic the Hedgehog is now racing around the Commandos at such high speeds, causing a sandstorm engulfing the battlefield. This allows Nightcrawler, Venom and Omega Red to go on the offensive. Omega Red snares Maxima and drains the life force from her. Venom rips Hannah Montana’s head from Miley Cyrus’s body. Nightcrawler teleports behind Dave Bowman but is bitten by Angel who was backing the Starchild up. He finishes the mutant quickly. The Venom Symbiote sees that Dave Bowman is the ultimate host and tries to bond with him. Bowman simply removes Venom from this plane of existence. Rumble and Frenzy team up against Ookla the Mok, but are blasted by Princess Ariel’s magic. Rumble manages to shoot Ariel, before he and Frenzy are crushed by Ookla. Omega Red leaps behind the huge Mok and snaps his spine. He then attracts the attention of the Black Dragon. The dragon tries to spray Omega Red with acid but he evades the attack. Instead, the dragon kills Dr. Sattler and Dr. Grant with the acid. Bizarro grabs Omega Red’s tentacles and yanks him to the ground, crushing Tails actually. Black Dragon then lands in front of his prey, melting him with a full blast of acid. Splinter makes a valiant last stand, but Juda Ben Hur and Qui Gon Jinn end his life quickly, out of respect for the ninja master.
HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Syracuse Valley is Omega Red, Darth Maul, Sith Lord #4 (Darth Rave), Casey Jones, Splinter, Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, & Ratbat, Master Chief, Nightcrawler, Venom, Zit, Rash, & Pimple, Star Fox, Sonic the Hedgehog & Tails, Bossk, Mcgruff the Crime Dog, Xenomorph #85, Fire Bros. #1 & 2, Little Goomba #1, Moritanti Soldier #1, & Treasure Troll #4.
Riding on his chariot, Juda Ben Hur leads the charge for his team against the hungry Syracuse Valley. Both are coming off losses in last week’s battles. The Commandos are trying to clinch their division, and a victory here in the sand would bring them closer to that goal. Ben Hur races towards the enemy and tramples Little Goomba #1 beneath his horses’ hooves. He then hurls his spear with great accuracy, impaling Master Chief. This death comes as a major shock to the rest of the Syracuse Valley. The remainder of the Commandos blitz the stunned Valley and tear through their ranks. Tundro spins his head at blinding speed, drilling it directly into Soundwave’s chest, who did not have time to eject more than just Rumble and Frenzy. Zok flies overhead with Black Dragon #1 and they lay waste to the Battletoads with a combo of fire and acid breath. As they fly away, Zok fires a laser beam from his tail, killing Casey Jones. Star Fox takes aim and, along with Bossk, shoots and kills Zandor, Tarra and Dorno. This sends Igoo into a primal rage, due to his fondness and devotion to Tarra. He crushes Star Fox, rips Bossk in half, and “takes a bite” out of McGruff. Ben Hur steers his chariot around for another pass but his horses are all killed by the twirling lightsabers of Darth Maul and his apprentice, Darth Rave. Ben Hur is thrown from his chariot. Darth Maul goes to finish off Juda but is blocked by a familiar green lightsaber. Qui Gon Jinn’s. “I believe we have unfinished business, you and I,” says the Jedi Master. Darth Rave attempts to ambush Qui Gon from behind, but is intercepted by Thundarr the Barbarian. Rave’s two lightsabers clash with Thundarr’s Sun-Sword. Rave is able to move around much more fluidly than the aggressive barbarian, almost dancing around him. Qui Gon and Darth Maul battle each other much like they did on Tatooine, but Qui Gon is prepared for this battle. (By the way, go ahead and begin listening to “Duel of the Fates” by John Williams if you own it.) Anyways, back to the awesome fight. With the open desert backdrop, Qui Gon is able to freely utilize his Form IV practices. He is able to blind even the agile Darth Maul with a flurry of acrobatic flips and jumps, while constantly being on the offensive. This catches Darth Maul completely off guard. Maul reacts with anger and frustration. This is where his downfall begins. Qui Gon cuts Maul’s lightsaber in half as he flips over his head. Then he force pushes him off of his feet. When the Sith Lord attempts to flip back up on his feet, he is met with an ironic lightsaber right through his stomach. Qui Gon moves to aid Thundarr who is losing his fight with the faster and more agile Darth Rave. “Wait for my signal Thundarr,” says Qui Gon. The arrogant and relatively inexperienced Rave fires his specially modified lightsabers at both opponents. “Now!” shouts Qui Gon, as both he and Thundarr dodge the oncoming lightsaber blades. They simultaneously cut the chains attached to Rave’s lightsabers and quickly finish off the Sith Lord. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles along with Splinter then spring into action. Raphael immediately punts Dozer #1 into next week. Splinter and Azeem square off with great respect and honor. Splinter defeats him after he butterfly kicks Azeem’s sword out of his hands, and drives his cane sword into Azeem’s heart. Ms. Marvel and Maxima team up to eliminate Donatello and Michelangelo. Gloop and Gleep split themselves into multiples smaller protoplastic creatures. They form themselves into sharp spikes and launch themselves at Leo and Raph, killing the last two Turtles. Jar Jar Binks was killed in the meantime by Treasure Troll #4 in a battle over who was the more useless character out on the battlefield. The Treasure Troll is then picked up by Bizarro and stuffed into his pocket. The Treasure Troll suffocates due to Bizarro’s backwards thinking. (i.e. Superman always washes his tights, so Bizarro… well you get the point.) Bizarro then flies through the Fire Brothers’ barrage of fire balls and freezes them with his freeze vision. General Grievous eviscerates Xenomorph #85 with his four lightsabers but is then decapitated by Nightcrawler who teleported behind him. Dr. Alan Grant and Dr. Ellie Sattler tackle Moritani Soldier #1 to the ground. Grant pulls the Raptor claw from his pocket and cuts the Soldier across the belly, spilling his intestines. Sonic the Hedgehog is now racing around the Commandos at such high speeds, causing a sandstorm engulfing the battlefield. This allows Nightcrawler, Venom and Omega Red to go on the offensive. Omega Red snares Maxima and drains the life force from her. Venom rips Hannah Montana’s head from Miley Cyrus’s body. Nightcrawler teleports behind Dave Bowman but is bitten by Angel who was backing the Starchild up. He finishes the mutant quickly. The Venom Symbiote sees that Dave Bowman is the ultimate host and tries to bond with him. Bowman simply removes Venom from this plane of existence. Rumble and Frenzy team up against Ookla the Mok, but are blasted by Princess Ariel’s magic. Rumble manages to shoot Ariel, before he and Frenzy are crushed by Ookla. Omega Red leaps behind the huge Mok and snaps his spine. He then attracts the attention of the Black Dragon. The dragon tries to spray Omega Red with acid but he evades the attack. Instead, the dragon kills Dr. Sattler and Dr. Grant with the acid. Bizarro grabs Omega Red’s tentacles and yanks him to the ground, crushing Tails actually. Black Dragon then lands in front of his prey, melting him with a full blast of acid. Splinter makes a valiant last stand, but Juda Ben Hur and Qui Gon Jinn end his life quickly, out of respect for the ninja master.
HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Reign Supremacy V. The Outsiders
Reign Supremacy is Batman (designated leader) & Robin, Iron Man, Cyborg Superman, The Crew of Serenity: Capt. Malcom Reynolds, Zoe, Wash, Jane, Simon, River, Kaylee, Anora, & Book, Ape Soldier #1-24, Zombie #1 & 2, Elite Clone Trooper #21, & Ewok #49.
The Outsiders are Mace Windu (designated leader), Ares: god of war, Apollo, Fremen #1-12, Skorpinok, Ajax, Barbarossa, Gimli son of Gloin, Duncan Idaho Ghola #4, & Brandon Inge.
In Mace Windu's original plan he was going to take on Cyborg Superman himself but Head Coach Bill Walsh wanted to try something different. His plan was to throw pure size at the half robot half Superman clone and to have the 2 Cymeks as well as Skorpinok triple team him. This bothered General Windu but he dealt with it and as the battle begins he carries out the orders as planned and tells the huge metal machines to not let him down. Cyborg Superman is ready to meet this challenge head on as he zips toward the massive monstrosities and starts flying circles around them. Skorpinok in his mobile form takes the center as Barbarrossa in a flying combat module comes from above and Ajax in his hugest tank like Cymek-body comes creaping up from behind. Cyborg Superman flies in with his heat vision proceeding him toward the chest of the huge Decepticon and then hits him with a barrage of building leveling punches. He instantly starts doing massive damage to Skorpinock and renders him almost completely useless. His head, Lord Zarock transforms into robot form and jumps onto Cyborg Superman from above. Lord Zarock may be much smaller than Skorpinock as a whole but he still is larger than Cyborg Superman which is how his metal body pushes the cyborg to the ground, not severely harming him but at least pinning him down momentarily. Lord Zarock is slightly damaged by this but he is still alive when the 2 Cymeks fire an ungodly amount of fire power down on to the 2 of them. This amazing display of weaponry could have maybe been survived by the true Superman but something in the Cyborg Superman could not and he dies. Batman and Robin move quickly as they swoop in to fight Ares but the god of war is prepared as he uses his shield to block the initail hits from Batman's arm spikes and Robin's staff. In a moment of military genius he uses Batman's weakness against him as he grabs a hold of Robin and pins him to a rock with his shield. Instead of going in for the kill Batman attempts to save Robin which is when Ares puts his Olympian Axe into the unprotected face of Batman. He is maniacaly laughing as he then finishes off the boy wonder. Iron Man lays down a supressing fire at the 2 Greek gods with his vast array of weaponry but true, good old-fashioned brute force seems to prove much more useful in this instance as Apollo uses his amazing athletic ability to leap several yards into the air and grab onto Iron Man. Apollo uses the strength gifted to him by his father Zues to try and reveal Tony Stark's mere humanity and pull the helmet off of Iron Man. At least that is what he was trying to do but the whole head came off instead ( I guess that works too). Mace Windu is being a good little jedi and still doing what he can to dispell the anger that he feels toward Coach Walsh after giving the glory to those darn robots instead of him which is why he does not really even pay a whole lot of attention to what he is doing as he uses his lightsaber to block the bullets shot at him by Mal, Zoe, & Jane. He easily mows through not only them but also Simon, Anora, Book, Kaylee & Wash. River is a different stroy though: He actually has to pay a little bit of attention when he defeats her by cutting off her head. The Ape Soldiers start charging at Gimli, Duncan Idaho, and Brandon Inge. Inge starts to seem a little nervous as they are outnumbered 8 to 1 but Gimli yells "hold your ground lad, we can take them". Duncan Idaho thinks that comment rather foolish but he respects Gimli's spirit so he keeps the thought to himself. As Gimli and Idaho are about to charge into what they assume will be their final battle their Fremen allies who they did not even see camoflauged in the dessert sands pop out and engage the Apes. Although the apes are bigger, stronger, and more coordinated than any human, and they outnumber the Fremen 2 to 1 the Fremen are such fierce fighters and so comfortable in this harsh setting that they do not lose a single man in the fairly quick battle with the super-advanced apes. Gimli appears furious as he yells "Damned Fremen didn't even leave any for us" to his homeboy Duncan Idaho #4 as he first hacks at the knees of the 2 zombies with his axe to bring them down low enough so he can chop off their heads. While he is doing this Duncan Idaho slips his dagger into a weak spot in the armor of Elite Clone Trooper #21 and Brandon Inge uses his favorite aluminum practice bat to cave in the skull of Ewok #49.
THE OUTSIDERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Outsiders are Mace Windu (designated leader), Ares: god of war, Apollo, Fremen #1-12, Skorpinok, Ajax, Barbarossa, Gimli son of Gloin, Duncan Idaho Ghola #4, & Brandon Inge.
In Mace Windu's original plan he was going to take on Cyborg Superman himself but Head Coach Bill Walsh wanted to try something different. His plan was to throw pure size at the half robot half Superman clone and to have the 2 Cymeks as well as Skorpinok triple team him. This bothered General Windu but he dealt with it and as the battle begins he carries out the orders as planned and tells the huge metal machines to not let him down. Cyborg Superman is ready to meet this challenge head on as he zips toward the massive monstrosities and starts flying circles around them. Skorpinok in his mobile form takes the center as Barbarrossa in a flying combat module comes from above and Ajax in his hugest tank like Cymek-body comes creaping up from behind. Cyborg Superman flies in with his heat vision proceeding him toward the chest of the huge Decepticon and then hits him with a barrage of building leveling punches. He instantly starts doing massive damage to Skorpinock and renders him almost completely useless. His head, Lord Zarock transforms into robot form and jumps onto Cyborg Superman from above. Lord Zarock may be much smaller than Skorpinock as a whole but he still is larger than Cyborg Superman which is how his metal body pushes the cyborg to the ground, not severely harming him but at least pinning him down momentarily. Lord Zarock is slightly damaged by this but he is still alive when the 2 Cymeks fire an ungodly amount of fire power down on to the 2 of them. This amazing display of weaponry could have maybe been survived by the true Superman but something in the Cyborg Superman could not and he dies. Batman and Robin move quickly as they swoop in to fight Ares but the god of war is prepared as he uses his shield to block the initail hits from Batman's arm spikes and Robin's staff. In a moment of military genius he uses Batman's weakness against him as he grabs a hold of Robin and pins him to a rock with his shield. Instead of going in for the kill Batman attempts to save Robin which is when Ares puts his Olympian Axe into the unprotected face of Batman. He is maniacaly laughing as he then finishes off the boy wonder. Iron Man lays down a supressing fire at the 2 Greek gods with his vast array of weaponry but true, good old-fashioned brute force seems to prove much more useful in this instance as Apollo uses his amazing athletic ability to leap several yards into the air and grab onto Iron Man. Apollo uses the strength gifted to him by his father Zues to try and reveal Tony Stark's mere humanity and pull the helmet off of Iron Man. At least that is what he was trying to do but the whole head came off instead ( I guess that works too). Mace Windu is being a good little jedi and still doing what he can to dispell the anger that he feels toward Coach Walsh after giving the glory to those darn robots instead of him which is why he does not really even pay a whole lot of attention to what he is doing as he uses his lightsaber to block the bullets shot at him by Mal, Zoe, & Jane. He easily mows through not only them but also Simon, Anora, Book, Kaylee & Wash. River is a different stroy though: He actually has to pay a little bit of attention when he defeats her by cutting off her head. The Ape Soldiers start charging at Gimli, Duncan Idaho, and Brandon Inge. Inge starts to seem a little nervous as they are outnumbered 8 to 1 but Gimli yells "hold your ground lad, we can take them". Duncan Idaho thinks that comment rather foolish but he respects Gimli's spirit so he keeps the thought to himself. As Gimli and Idaho are about to charge into what they assume will be their final battle their Fremen allies who they did not even see camoflauged in the dessert sands pop out and engage the Apes. Although the apes are bigger, stronger, and more coordinated than any human, and they outnumber the Fremen 2 to 1 the Fremen are such fierce fighters and so comfortable in this harsh setting that they do not lose a single man in the fairly quick battle with the super-advanced apes. Gimli appears furious as he yells "Damned Fremen didn't even leave any for us" to his homeboy Duncan Idaho #4 as he first hacks at the knees of the 2 zombies with his axe to bring them down low enough so he can chop off their heads. While he is doing this Duncan Idaho slips his dagger into a weak spot in the armor of Elite Clone Trooper #21 and Brandon Inge uses his favorite aluminum practice bat to cave in the skull of Ewok #49.
THE OUTSIDERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Brock Samopson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Brock Sampson, Guy Gardner & G'Nort, Kyle Rayner, Ted Nugent, King Leonidas, Jedi Master #20, Ginaz Swordsmen #10, Dorf, The Planeteers, Mystery Inc.: Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, & Scooby-Doo w/ Scooby Dumb, Rancor #1 & 2, Ron Popeil, Sandworm #1-3, U.S. Marine #1 & 2, & Ewok #4 & 5.
Le' Napoleon Brigade is Allia Atredies, Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12, Hecate, Obi Wan Kenobi, Even Piel, Skyfire, Gandalf w/ Shadowfax, Aragorn, Wonder Woman & Wonder Girl, Atreides Soldier #1-10, Alan Scott, Silver Dragon #1, & Teela.
Everyone on both teams scatter as the 3 giant sandworms emerge out of the sand and come crashing onto the ground. The Planeteers begin to say "Earth, Wind, Wa....." but they all get eaten by Sandworm #2 on the way to consuming all 10 of the shocked Atredies Soldiers. Allia Atreides grabs her fremkit and then sets a thumper to summon the mighty Shai Halud. Sandworm #1 comes rolling towards the area where she is standing and she climbs on top of the giant beast of the dessert just as she was shown to do by the leaders of her sietch when she was just a little girl. The Silver Dragon flies in toward the 2 Rancor's who are eating the 2 ewoks from their own team. The dragon starts to blow fire at them but the 2 Rancor's pull the dragon out of the sky and maul it to death before they begin their feast. Alan Scott takes to the air to fight Kyle Rayner. Now lets just cut the crap and talk on real terms for a minute, shall we. I am 27 year old hall of fame geek and I am writing about these 2 particular Green Lanterns, who do you think is going to win. The Golden Age Green Lantern beats the crap out of the modern age Green Lantern, The End. Gandalf rides up on Shadowfax with Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl running behind them to do battle with Guy Gardner and G'Nort. This looks like it is shaping up to be a great fight as Sandworm #3 pops out of the sand and consumes all of them in his mammoth jaw. Duncan Idaho does a mentat projection and tells Teela, Obi Wan and Even Piel that it looks to him like their is somewhere between a .000001 and .000004% chance that any of the 4 of them will get out of this battle alive so Even Piel suggests that they try to take out as many of the murderflies as they can before they die. Obi Wan is about to remind him that jedi do not try, they do but he had second thoughts and just went along with the plan instead of being a naysayer when Teela appeared to be so gung-ho about the idea. Ron Popeil is cruising around in the prototype "Sand-Submarine" 3000 when he finds out that Sandworms can just as easily eat you below the sand as above it (Bummer). Duncan, Teela, Obi Wan, and Even Piel attack. Duncan Idaho and Teela double team King Leonidas who is thoroughly enjoying the carnage of this insane battle but Brock Sampson avenges his head coach by shooting Teela. Obi Wan kills Jedi Master #20 in a lightsaber duel and Even Piel kills Ginaz Swordsmen #10 by using his short stature to get underneath his defenses. Alan Scott decides that it is time to try to fight back against the sandworms and starts flying at Sandworm #2, but Brock Sampson throws a knife into the Golden Age Green Lantern's eye and kills him before he can do anything to the Murderflies favorite pets. Fred and Velma tell Scoob and Shag to let the Rancor's chase them toward Le' Napoleon Brigade (Zoinks)! Scooby Dumb goes with them but only goes a couple of steps before Rancor #1 catches him and swallows him whole. They see Aragorn on the horizon and begin running towards him. Shaggy and his best pal Scooby-Doo prove that they are fast enought to outrun 2 Rancors but unfortunetely none of them were fast enough to get away from Sandworm #1 who Allia has still not completely got under her control with her maker hooks. The Sandworm eats Scooby, Shaggy, Rancor #1 & 2, and Aragorn. Hecate decides that she must make a sacrifice but does not know if she is powerful enough to do it on her own. Hecate, via radio tells this dilemma to Skyfire who has been flanking her since the begining of the match when they took to the air to get away from Sandworms. Skyfire assures the great former Titan that he is willing to do whatever she feels is necessary. Hecate ponders for a couple of minutes and digs deep into her many-millenia old mind when she leads Skyfire on an attack of Sandworm #3. They fly toward the massive animal who had just resurfaced to crush the 2 Marines and Duncan Idaho. They begin using all the fire power they had to try to bring down the Sandworm but the only thing that worked is when they both made the ultimate sacrifice by crashing right into the front of the giant worm. They of course die in the crash but they at least take the mighty worm with them. The maker hooks are set and although it somewhat pains Allia to do this to Shai Halud she is not allowing the worm to go back into the sand by keeping its pores open and exposed to the air as she rides the worm throughout the dunes. Brock Sampson leads Dorf, the rifle wielding Nugent and what is left of Mystery Inc. in a final charge against Obi Wan and Even Piel but no matter how hard Brock tries, he cannot get it through the heads of the Sandworms that they are on his team. The even pattern of the running by both sides draws Sandworm #2 out of the ground to protect her territory, and protect her territory it does as it proves Idaho's mentat projection correct and destroys Kenobi, Piel, Sampson, Nugent, Fred, Daphne, Velma, & Dorf. Although this is what the completely exhausted Allia was waiting for as she directs the much larger, but dying Sandworm #1 into the side of Sandworm #2 with its massive jaw wide open and crysknife-ready teeth exposed. In a cataclysmic collssion Allia is roughly thrown from the Sandworm as it bites down on the other worm in a fierce final attack for survival and territorial dominance. Allia bounces off of the sand breaking several bones on impact as well as suffering much internal trauma which her body struggles to correct with her Bene Gesserit taught self-healing abilities. Several Hours later Allia regains conciousness to find that no one else on the battlefield is alive and that.......
LE NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!
Le' Napoleon Brigade is Allia Atredies, Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12, Hecate, Obi Wan Kenobi, Even Piel, Skyfire, Gandalf w/ Shadowfax, Aragorn, Wonder Woman & Wonder Girl, Atreides Soldier #1-10, Alan Scott, Silver Dragon #1, & Teela.
Everyone on both teams scatter as the 3 giant sandworms emerge out of the sand and come crashing onto the ground. The Planeteers begin to say "Earth, Wind, Wa....." but they all get eaten by Sandworm #2 on the way to consuming all 10 of the shocked Atredies Soldiers. Allia Atreides grabs her fremkit and then sets a thumper to summon the mighty Shai Halud. Sandworm #1 comes rolling towards the area where she is standing and she climbs on top of the giant beast of the dessert just as she was shown to do by the leaders of her sietch when she was just a little girl. The Silver Dragon flies in toward the 2 Rancor's who are eating the 2 ewoks from their own team. The dragon starts to blow fire at them but the 2 Rancor's pull the dragon out of the sky and maul it to death before they begin their feast. Alan Scott takes to the air to fight Kyle Rayner. Now lets just cut the crap and talk on real terms for a minute, shall we. I am 27 year old hall of fame geek and I am writing about these 2 particular Green Lanterns, who do you think is going to win. The Golden Age Green Lantern beats the crap out of the modern age Green Lantern, The End. Gandalf rides up on Shadowfax with Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl running behind them to do battle with Guy Gardner and G'Nort. This looks like it is shaping up to be a great fight as Sandworm #3 pops out of the sand and consumes all of them in his mammoth jaw. Duncan Idaho does a mentat projection and tells Teela, Obi Wan and Even Piel that it looks to him like their is somewhere between a .000001 and .000004% chance that any of the 4 of them will get out of this battle alive so Even Piel suggests that they try to take out as many of the murderflies as they can before they die. Obi Wan is about to remind him that jedi do not try, they do but he had second thoughts and just went along with the plan instead of being a naysayer when Teela appeared to be so gung-ho about the idea. Ron Popeil is cruising around in the prototype "Sand-Submarine" 3000 when he finds out that Sandworms can just as easily eat you below the sand as above it (Bummer). Duncan, Teela, Obi Wan, and Even Piel attack. Duncan Idaho and Teela double team King Leonidas who is thoroughly enjoying the carnage of this insane battle but Brock Sampson avenges his head coach by shooting Teela. Obi Wan kills Jedi Master #20 in a lightsaber duel and Even Piel kills Ginaz Swordsmen #10 by using his short stature to get underneath his defenses. Alan Scott decides that it is time to try to fight back against the sandworms and starts flying at Sandworm #2, but Brock Sampson throws a knife into the Golden Age Green Lantern's eye and kills him before he can do anything to the Murderflies favorite pets. Fred and Velma tell Scoob and Shag to let the Rancor's chase them toward Le' Napoleon Brigade (Zoinks)! Scooby Dumb goes with them but only goes a couple of steps before Rancor #1 catches him and swallows him whole. They see Aragorn on the horizon and begin running towards him. Shaggy and his best pal Scooby-Doo prove that they are fast enought to outrun 2 Rancors but unfortunetely none of them were fast enough to get away from Sandworm #1 who Allia has still not completely got under her control with her maker hooks. The Sandworm eats Scooby, Shaggy, Rancor #1 & 2, and Aragorn. Hecate decides that she must make a sacrifice but does not know if she is powerful enough to do it on her own. Hecate, via radio tells this dilemma to Skyfire who has been flanking her since the begining of the match when they took to the air to get away from Sandworms. Skyfire assures the great former Titan that he is willing to do whatever she feels is necessary. Hecate ponders for a couple of minutes and digs deep into her many-millenia old mind when she leads Skyfire on an attack of Sandworm #3. They fly toward the massive animal who had just resurfaced to crush the 2 Marines and Duncan Idaho. They begin using all the fire power they had to try to bring down the Sandworm but the only thing that worked is when they both made the ultimate sacrifice by crashing right into the front of the giant worm. They of course die in the crash but they at least take the mighty worm with them. The maker hooks are set and although it somewhat pains Allia to do this to Shai Halud she is not allowing the worm to go back into the sand by keeping its pores open and exposed to the air as she rides the worm throughout the dunes. Brock Sampson leads Dorf, the rifle wielding Nugent and what is left of Mystery Inc. in a final charge against Obi Wan and Even Piel but no matter how hard Brock tries, he cannot get it through the heads of the Sandworms that they are on his team. The even pattern of the running by both sides draws Sandworm #2 out of the ground to protect her territory, and protect her territory it does as it proves Idaho's mentat projection correct and destroys Kenobi, Piel, Sampson, Nugent, Fred, Daphne, Velma, & Dorf. Although this is what the completely exhausted Allia was waiting for as she directs the much larger, but dying Sandworm #1 into the side of Sandworm #2 with its massive jaw wide open and crysknife-ready teeth exposed. In a cataclysmic collssion Allia is roughly thrown from the Sandworm as it bites down on the other worm in a fierce final attack for survival and territorial dominance. Allia bounces off of the sand breaking several bones on impact as well as suffering much internal trauma which her body struggles to correct with her Bene Gesserit taught self-healing abilities. Several Hours later Allia regains conciousness to find that no one else on the battlefield is alive and that.......
LE NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!
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