Universe Bowl VII: Kitties Correspondent Post #1

I finally received word from the Kitties (Sorry, this is the name that is being used now) Correspondent, Jacob Black. I believe this is current information but I have yet to verify that. Anyways, it seems to be from him and not a hoax. Anyways, here it is.

By Jacob Black

August 8, 2014 (I believe)

Shrouded Forest

Sorry this has taken so long, getting to a point where I could write one of these was more challenging then I would have ever thought. This has been more of an endurance contest then a battle. The Midgets have been a huge pain to deal with and that is not including everything else we have been dealing with. I will get back to that in a second though, I assume you want to know what has been going on.

We arrived I guess a couple of weeks ago, though it feels like months at this point. I’ve been to this place before but something has changed since the last time I set foot on this rock. Well actually, that’s the thing, nothing has changed, not like it usually does at least. This place is not exactly a vacation hotspot, but it usually looks the same for the most part. When we arrived, the crew I was placed with, my pack, along with The Boom Boom crew (Arjan hates when I call them that) landed in the forest, which naturally worked out well for us. The forest is our home after all.

Only this forest wasn’t like any forest that we were used to. We are used to a forest that is teaming with life, full of movement and constantly changing. This forest resembled nothing like that. This forest was brown and silent with not a life form in sight. We were here a full day before we saw a single soul. It was a native we assumed because as soon as it saw us, it ran away. Quil and I attempted to chase it down but before we could catch it, it fell to the ground. We thought maybe it got tripped up or something but when we caught up to it, the thing was dead.

Nothing came out and attacked it, hell, there wasn’t a mark on the thing. It just fell down and died, like the running itself killed him. Evette examined the thing but couldn’t find anything wrong with it. It seemed fine except for the fact that it was no longer alive. After about an hour or so, we decided to take off in the opposite direction as we had no desire to find out what killed that poor thing. I have heard rumours of ‘Dead Zones’ from the elders, not that I have ever believed in such a thing, but it also wasn’t a theory that I felt like testing at that moment.

We traveled again for another couple of hours and that is when we met our first test. Big Red was at the edge of the forest taking a beating from the shirtless wonder. When I say beating, I mean a beating. Why he was taking him on alone I have no idea but there wasn’t time to question him when I got there. My pack was quite a ways behind me at the time (what can I say, nobody can catch me) so it was up to me to help out.

I jumped into the fight head first, knocking Conan down to the ground. Using my ring (not something I am fond of but since I had it, I figured I might as well use it) I created a protection barrier around Big Red to offer him some relief. While I was doing that though, Conan cracked me on the side of the head with the butt of his sword, sending me down to the ground. Things went fuzzy for a second but all I know is, when I came to it, my ring was off my hand and before I could even reach for it, that Barbarian crushed it with his sword.

A lot of good that thing was.

The upside to losing the ring though came in the form of Big Red charging at Conan and knocking him into a nearby tree. The collision caused the tree to fall down due to the impact. This gave me the chance to jump on top of him, allowing me to sink my teeth into his neck. I thought maybe it would take a little extra to break through but as it turned out, he wasn’t much stronger (at least when it came to his neck) then your average human. By the time we got back up and regained our bearings, the rest of my team was there to see the aftermath of the fight.

A victory no doubt, but it sure didn’t last long. 

The two of them came out of nowhere, I swear they were watching Conan take us on but regardless of what they were doing before, they sure didn’t waste anymore time on the sidelines after that. They took out the Boom Boom crew first, tearing right through them like they were defenseless children. Claws through the necks of the doctor and Evette before we even knew they were there. It didn’t take long after that, Groudious found himself on the ground without the use of his legs soon enough (claws right through his calves) and Arjan faired no better as he was dead to us moments later. Sam knocked the male down to the ground, saving Bagwa for the moment, but the female sliced Sam right across the chest, allowing her access and eventually taking the life of the little guy.

Once Quil, Jared and I realized what had happened we were able to take a stand against them, giving us the momentary upper hand. Quil and Jared held down the male but before I knew it, the female tore right through Jared’s grip and picked up her companion and took off. I chased after them for a while but I lost them quickly after that. I went back to help the guys and found a very wounded Jared and a shaken up Sam.

It took Jared a while to heal (a good twelve hours) and since then we have found a couple other members of our team. Right now we are camped out in a “safe house” in the forest, hoping to hear from some of the others. Sam, Jared, Quil and I keep a look out while the Dumbledore’s and the other three wizard’s try and figure out what is going on around here. The voice’s we are hearing are very strange. At times it is very busy and then it goes silent.

Like I said earlier, this place has changed and before we go out and find more trouble we want to know what we are up against. I will send more information when I have it, but until then, we are lying low. Hope this is good for now, if it isn’t, well, it’s all I have.

Universe Bowl VII: Post 2

By Nickatu the Watcher
August 5, 2014
Fantasy Fantasy Press

For some reason it has been difficult to gather information from the playoff planet. I lost contact almost immediately and have been getting shotty (i.e. unconfirmed information) ever since then. Below I will report on the few facts that I have thus far.

Supergirl is missing. This report is over a week old at this point but from everything I have heard, she went missing in the Particle Valley after a fight with the Wicked Witch of the East. (More information to come)

The Silverhawks, yes all of them, were destroyed by The Eradicator minutes after the battle commenced. All I have heard is that there was a flash, and then nothing. The Midgets made a statement and from what I understand, the Kitties understood it.

He-Man (who was on his ninth death), found himself in a fight with both Red Hulk and Jacob Black. Though he was able to destroy Mr. Black’s Star Sapphire ring, he was not strong enough to hold off the two of them. I am not quite sure why he ended up with a two on one fight, but it was too much for him in the end.

Below will be the only thing that I will report on that has not been confirmed.

The Layanderlet’s correspondent told me very early on, that there was a rumour going around that Wonder Women is dead. She had been in a fight with the Zombie Version of Supergirl when they were both said to have fallen silent and disappeared. I have no way of confirming it (as I lost contact with him) but this story caused quite the stir on both sides of the field. Again, it may not be accurate, but it is what I have heard.

Still have not heard from my Sisterhood correspondent but I am hoping to hear something soon. Until then, I will keep you posted on anything else I can find out and will continue to get my sources together to bring everybody as much as I can find.

More to come very shortly.

Universe Bowl VII

Post 1

Welcome everyone to another addition of the Fantasy Fantasy Universe Bowl. This as everyone by now knows, is the seventh iteration of the final match of the year. Seven years in we are still going, something that is both incredible and overwhelming. When I first was asked to report on this years match, I admit, I was not quite sure how I was going to accomplish it. Still, as I look at both Layander and the Midgets squads I feel a sense of disbelief in how it is going to all go down. To say both teams are more then up to the challenge of being this year’s Universe Bowl champion is an understatement.

It never ceases to amaze me as a watcher how good both finals teams truly are. Layanderette, a team that I would not have chosen to make the finals this year has quieted any opponent out there. Lead by the ever-powerful Supergirl, along with basically the entire Kingdom Come crew, the team is well balanced and more then capable of competing in the final match of the season.

On the other end of the league is another unlikely combatant, The Sisterhood of Evil Midgets, who is making their second Universe Bowl appearance. Too say they are the unlikely of the two teams is only in regards to their position in the standings with one week to go. Some have said that they skated into the playoff by the skin of their teeth. They faced two incredibly difficult opponents in George Washington’s Slaves and the perennial favorites, The Horsemen of Apokolips. The strange thing about saying they are the unlikely of the two is that by looking at their team, you would never guess that they wouldn’t be the favorite. With such powerhouse members as the Phoenix Force, Emperor Joker and the Eradicator, you would think they would be the favorite in any match they fought in.

With all of that being said though, this is going to be a close one. As both teams are well on their ways to the playoff planet I too have been sending people of my own to cover this grandest of events. I mentioned earlier that watching this event was an overwhelming responsibility for me and it still is. It is also a responsibility that I take with the utmost seriousness and for that I have decided to do things a little bit differently this time around.

Instead of just explaining what is going on for this match, I have decided to report on it like a proper journalist should. I have enlisted the help of every watcher that I have at my disposal and with them, I plan on reporting on as many facets of the event as we can. I have also met up with one member of each team and with their help and assistance, plan on getting as much in camp and on site information as there is possible to report on. I will as of this time keep both teams’ exact rosters a secret, as to keep their opponents in the dark as much as possible.

I will also be functioning as a proper news agency, which means that with the help of the Fantasy Press we will be accepting feedback and will listen to the readers when it comes to anything they are interested in hearing about. I hope this will be fun way to experience the final match of the season, a way for there to be as much of an open dialogue into what should be the most exciting match of the season.

With that being said, both teams have their work cut out for themselves as do we Watchers. I wish both teams the best of luck out there and we will be back with you as soon as the battle gets under way.

Good luck everyone and have a great night.

Sincerely,

Nickatu the Watcher