Points: 6
Setting: The Pit (from Mortal Kombat)
Prize: A Go-Cart
Guest Watcher: Nick Houslander
Reign Supremacy Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Alice's Wonder Team Vs. Built Ford Tough
The Legion of Doom Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. The Right Wing
Team Fred Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
The Outsiders Vs. Better Than All of You
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds "Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs.The Untouchables
Saturday, May 31, 2008
The Universe Bowl
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. Team
Points: 1200
Setting: Mixed
Prize: The Millenium Falcon
BBQ Delayed!
The epic BBQ that was scheduled for June 14th has been delayed because Bryan thinks that some dude's wedding is more important than the Fantasy Fantasy League (what a dork). No but seriousely it needs to be rescheduled so please contact me or post somewhere on the blog if there are days that are good or not so good for you and yours. We are considering June 21st but please let me know if that day does not work for anybody.
Peace Out.
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Team
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid (designated leader), Supergirl, Achilles, Sinestro, The Witch King of Angmar, The Balrog of Moria, Shazam, Dr. Strange, Serci, Polaris, Cable, Scarlet Witch, Jamie Madrox, Elixir, Sabertooth, Gideon, Selene: The Black Queen, Parasite, Tommy Oliver: The Green Ranger, Plo Koon, Gozar: The Gozarian w/ Zuul & Vince Clortho, Starscream, Sunstorm, Sixshot, Circuit Breaker, Charleton Heston, & Josh Houslander.
Team is Superman (designated leader), Unicron, God Emperor Leto II, Godzilla, King Kong, Treebeard, Fortress Maximus, The Combaticons, Dirge, Swoop, Shockwave, Astrotrain, Blitzwing, Original Titan #1 & 2, Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Neo, Trinity, Seraph, Space Ghost w/ Jan, Jace, & Blip, Dozer #7, & The Bashar Miles Teg Ghola.
Head Coach Vandal Savage has carefully examined Team’s victory over the Backyardigans which is why he has come with a totally different strategy. He and his Horsemen have no intention of waiting for the mighty Unicron to invade the Battlefield planet below, which is why they are going to fly up too meet him. As the battle for the little brown laser begins Darkseid, Supergirl, Sinestro (carrying Parasite), Shazam, Serci, Starscream, Sunstorm, & Sixshot all take to the air, and break through the atmosphere in an attempt to bring the crux of the battle to space. Superman tells everyone to stay on the planet and to stick to their original game plan but after he sees how much of their team they are sending at Unicron and then questions whether or not they can win without the Transformer planet he changes his mind and orders several members of Team to follow him into space. When the Horsemen reach Unicron, they waste no time attacking the huge cosmic being. Darkseid and Sinestro attack from afar while Sixshot, Serci, and Shazam go in amazingly close. Unicron grabs Shazam out of the star-speckled sky and crushes the life out of the very powerful Capt. Marvel as if he were a child killing a mouse. Unicron blasts Serci with a huge laser blast that completely disintegrates her. Unicron then moves to swing his gargantuan arms at Sixshot but it is as if he can barely move. What no one on Team realized was that Sixshot was carrying passengers and that Polaris is inside the cockpit of the Decepticon using all of her strength to take control of Unicron’s metal body. She is struggling to gain control when Sixshot crashes through the undefended eye of Unicron. Once inside Sixshot opens up his cockpit but not to release Polaris because she is concentrating too hard to even move as drops of blood start to appear in her eyes and nose. The reason he opened his cockpit was to release his other passenger Circuit Breaker. Circuit Breaker jumps out and instantly starts wreaking havoc on the insides of Unicron. Darkeid smirks as he sees their plan coming together and Superman, who has just arrived orders his people to hang back because he is not sure what will happen next. Darkseid, Sinestro, Starscream (carrying Heston), & Sunstorm (carrying Josh) all fire their particular weapon/power at the weakened Unicron. As Polaris struggles to pull Unicron apart from the inside she collapses and her body and life give out just as Supergirl flies in at her top speed to deliver the killing blow to Unicron’s neck which severs the head from the body and kills the mighty Unicron. Superman is stunned to see the mammoth Unicron destroyed but this prompts him to order the full space onslaught. Superman leads the attack, going straight at Darkseid. Darkseid has no desire to fight Superman 1 on 1 simply for the sake of glory which is why Supergirl and Sinestro w/ Parasite instantly fly up to flank him. Darkseid shoots his omega beams at Superman but the man of steel continues to evade them, even as they follow behind him. Parasite simply waits, knowing that he is just a pawn in Darkseid game, Sinestro hangs back with his power built up waiting for the perfect moment to attack while Supergirl, the person who killed Superman at their last meeting flies at her cousin with the same velocity that she just used to defeat Unicron. Superman just barely gets out of her way and grabs a hold of her arm. He then uses the velocity that Supergirl had built up plus his own added strength to throw her at Darkseid and kill them both on impact. Superman is then spinning so hard in his own rotation that the Omega Beams that were fired at him finally hit right at the same time that Sinestro unleashes an unbelievable amount of Yellow energy at him and Parasite, who has been unwillingly relieved of his space suit by Sinestro (under previous orders from Darkseid) latches on to Superman, more to save his own life than anything else. With these 3 massive attacks combined even Superman is unable to withstand the abuse, especially while his power is being drained and while he is an oxygen devoid area which are all factors as to why both Superman and Parasite die. Astrotrain is flanked by both Blitzwing and Blast-Off as he flies toward Sinestro and the 2 Seekers. As they get closer Astrotrain and Blast-Off open up their side hatches. From out of Blast-Off’s hatch comes Space Ghost, followed by Jan, Jace, & Blip, and from out of Astrotrain comes the remaining 4 Combaticons, Dirge, and Swoop. Sinestro blasts a hole in the wing of Swoop, which makes it difficult for him to fly and easy for Sunstorm with Josh cheering him on from the cockpit to finish him off with some nuclear infused lasers. Sunstorm gets hit by a blast from Space Ghost that takes advantage of his instability and sends him into meltdown, but Josh in his space suit ejects just before Sunstorm goes Nuclear and explodes. Josh wielding his katana blade is joined by Charleton Heston who ejects out of Starscream and is carrying the little brown laser. Josh slices the head off of Jace but Blip comes to the rescue and pulls out Josh’s air hose and kills him. Heston then shoots the monkey in its space helmet, and then does the same to Jan, but Space Ghost then shoots Heston with his arm blaster and kills him. Starscream chases down Dirge and blows him to pieces and then transforms into robot form and lands on top of Astrotrain. Starscream knows exactly where to hit the triple changer with a mix of melee attacks and laser blasts to render him functionless. The Combaticons merge to form Bruticus and begin battling the much smaller Sinestro. Blitzwing blasts Starscream off of the back of the dead hull which was once Astrotrain where he is blasted into Bruticus and then crushed to death by his own creation. Sinestro goes into his battle with Bruticus very confident, and with his power he has good reason to do so. The yellow lantern starts to put quite a hurting on the gestalt, but what he does not expect is to be simultaneously hit from blasts by Blitzwing and Space Ghost which mess up his concentration long enough for him to be crushed to death by the huge hands of Bruticus. Meanwhile back on the battlefield Sabertooth and Elixir run into the desert in search for God Emperor Leto II. Sabertooth has assured Vandal Savage, Darkseid, and most importantly his Myrmidon captain Achilles that if Wolverine could take this guy last week than he would have no problem. Once they are about 100 yards into the dunes Leto pops out of the sand. Elixir starts to try to attack the God Emperor on a molecular level. It seems to work as the half-worm’s body begins to deteriorate back into sand Trout but the ruler of 1 million worlds keeps reversing the effects. Leto then dives back below the sand to replenish himself out of fear that that attack could work. Sabertooth smells something and jumps out of the way but Elixir is crushed by the worm before he dives back into the sands. Sabertooth is much larger than Wolverine but his size is still considerably smaller than that of The Tyrant. As Leto jumps into the air Sabertooth grabs onto the side of him and begins clawing and ripping away the hardened dry skin of Leto, but in this case being the second best at what you do is not quite good enough as Leto sinks his crysknife teeth into the mutant and then pulls him as they are diving down into the desert sands. Godzilla and King Kong are walking side by side in the city streets when Tommy Oliver from atop one of the taller buildings blows into his emerald whistle and summons the Dragon Zord. Once it shows up and trounces around the buildings causing random sparks to go off for a couple of minutes it does the ultimate attack; and by ultimate attack I mean that it shoots a huge Z at King Kong and blows him up. The Dragon Zord then starts to awkwardly fight with Godzilla. They are very evenly matched, as they trade hits with each other but when Fortress Maximus transforms into robot form to come and lend a hand the Fortress Maximus and Godzilla team-up succeed in busting apart the Dragon Zord. Fortress Maximus gets in the final hit against the Zord but Godzilla shoots the Green Ranger with his fire breath to kill Tommy. Gozar: The Gozarian leaps in front of the large Treebeard when Zuul and Vince Clortho in their dog-like monster form jump out to attack the huge Ent. The 2 beasts begin clawing at the oldest living thing in Middle Earth but much like the Wargs that Treebeard has been fighting for centuries he throws the 2 creatures to the ground and then crushes them with his powerful hands. Gozar then disappears and Treebeard hears the words “choose” come out of the heavens as if it were the Valor themselves talking to him. Treebeard then inadvertently chooses what he fears most as a giant flaming axe comes and cuts him to pieces while he is burning. The ghola of the Bashar Miles Teg runs by the axe so fast that it goes out like a shaken match, causing it to fall to the ground where it is rendered useless until it is picked up by The Balrog of Moria. The Evil version of Paul Atreides attacks Plo Koon with his Harkonen knife. He swings wildly at Master Koon and slashes open his shoulder but Koon comes back hard with his aggressive Form 5 style which he uses to cut off both Paulo’s right hand and head. Trinity jumps in front of the much larger Witch King and Seraph starts running over to lend her a hand. Seraph never reaches his destination though because he is cut off by Achilles. Seraph shoots 2 pistols at Achilles but he hides behind his shield and then rolls out of the way. Seraph then tries to attack him with some lightning fast Kung-Fu moves but Achilles has no problem dodging them and then kicking Seraph to the side. Achilles then jumps on top of Seraph and says “Your Oracle is afraid of me” as he stabs Seraph through the heart. The Witch King is very powerful but without his horse or Fell Beast to ride on he cannot even come close to keeping up with the much faster Trinity. Trinity dodges the sword swings of The Witch King and then rolls up underneath his robe. Once in close she pulls out her twin Glocks and says “Possess this” as she blows him away with a needed woman’s touch. Trinity stands victorious over The Witch King but another soldier of Mordor comes to avenge the former ruler of Angmar. Trinity tries to rush the huge Balrog but the evil creature throws some fire her direction and then crushes her with his massive firey weapon. Neo is rushing into battle and dodging ranged attacks from Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange takes to the air thinking that that will keep Neo away from him but Neo takes flight as well. Neo plows right through Strange’s attacks and puts a fatal karate chop into the wizard’s neck. Shockwave, who has been the default leader of Team since the departure of Superman transforms into his huge gun form and takes aim at Scarlet Witch. Scarlet Witch does not see the attack coming but she is saved when The Black Queen pushes her out of the way. Shockwave is about to shoot again but Scarlet Witch turns the nearby Dozer #7 into a hand grenade which Selene telekinetically throws into the barrel of Shockwave right before it blows up. Gideon flies in toward the Miles Teg ghola using the powers of Supergirl and Shazam which he has still retained from before the match. Miles Teg shoots him with a maula pistol but it is not fatal and with the help of Sabertooth’s healing factor it is quickly mended. Gideon taps into the genetic template of his opponent and begins moving at the same rapid rate as Miles Teg. Miles Teg has a little bit more of a mastery of these powers but with Gideon’s other stolen skills he has the upper hand. As the old Bashar rushes toward Gideon, Gideon moves out of the way just in the nick of time and catches Teg with an elbow to the face which when you consider the added velocity from both individuals would be about as powerful as being hit in the face with a small jet. Cable leads the army of Jamie Madroxes against the 2 massive Titans. Titan #1 has opted for a well armored flying cymek while Titan #2 has inserted himself into a slow-moving but truly massive tank-like cymek with enough fire-power to fight a small scale war. The Madrox multiples die quick but the Multiple Man regenerates them just as fast. Cable has much experience leading soldiers against futuristic machines and the Titans have just as much experience in being outnumbered by many weaker hethrigir. Most of the Multiples are carrying futuristic laser rifles like the one wielded by Cable which is what they use to swarm the huge Titan #2. Cable sees the possible success of this plan but the flying Titan #1 keeps blasting most of the multiples before they can get in close enough. Cable concentrates hard with his telepathic powers in an attempt to get into the mind of the well-guarded and very advanced Titan Cymek. Cable finally finds the brain waves of Titan #1 and attacks them. The many century old brain within the Titan’s protected canister is shocked to witness another being’s brain waves within his own and does not even realize that he is being forced to crash himself hard into the water which he is no way equipped to handle. Titan #1 dies but he does manage to establish the mental link with the other Titan who heeds this warning quickly. Titan #2 diverts his attention from the multiples to target Cable with 3 huge missiles that blow the warrior from the future apart. The Multiples continue to attack the Titan and are making great progress in breaking through to the brain canister. Several of the multiples blast open the side of the already damaged Cymek and reveal the human brain within it. The Cymek is already having trouble moving and has wasted a ton of ammo against the ever growing multiple army. The multiples rip off the protective covering and start shooting the brain while the rest of them start cheering victoriously, but much like the Cymeks used to do against the mighty Omnius this brain was a fake and was not nearly as protected as the actual human brain inside the great Titan. The fake brain explodes with a barrage of shrapnel to compliment the already huge amount of artillery that the Cymek was firing which kills the remaining multiples including Jamie Madrox himself. The members of Team that were up in space finally reach the Battlefield and regroup with the rest of their teammates in the desert. Achilles orders his team to regroup as well in the city. Neo and Achilles now seem to be acting as the leaders of their respective teams which is why they begin to square off with each other as soon as the 2 teams are within each others range. Achilles moves on the battlefield with amazing grace and in the beginning is matching every one of Neo’s moves, despite Neo’s superhuman speed but Achilles’ ego is excessive and he does not realize quite how superhuman his opponent is. When Neo blocks Achilles sword with his bear forearm it shocks even the great Achilles. This second of surprise was then all Neo needed to finish off Achilles with a Sai through the eye, and then a bear handed karate chop to go through his famous ankle. Gideon is moving through the desert at unbelievable speed when the massive God Emperor pops out of the sand. Leto lunges at Gideon but the mutant runs straight up the side of Leto’s body and then barrels into him as if he were a human screw driver to kill the reincarnation of Shai Halud. The Black Queen and her teammate for the day Scarlet Witch see no other option than to go up against the giant transformers known as Bruticus and Fortress Maximus. Scarlet Witch starts to turn the rubber from some of the Combaticons into a strange clay like substance that covers the chest of Bruticus and begins to make it impossible for them to stay together but Fortress Maximus comes to the aid of his once enemy and crushes the Scarlet Witch with his mammoth fist. Black Queen then sends the other 4 Combaticons scattering with her telekinesis. The leg of Bruticus comes flying at Fortress Maximus but the huge city in robot form bats it away, destroying his own teammate out of necessity. Only Swindel and Blast-Off remain alive from the massive attack which used the Decepticons own massive weight against them but once the 2 surviving Combaticons come to and back up Fortress Maximus it makes for a pretty unfair triple team as they blast Selene apart with their Cybertronian lasers. The Mighty Balrog of Moria has never before fought anything bigger than himself but that changes as he faces off against Godzilla. Godzilla breaths his own strange brand of fire at the Balrog but it does not have much affect on the creature of Mordor which is why the 2 opponent opt for a close range battle instead. Every remaining member of both teams scatter as they 2 massive beasts do battle destroying every thing in sight and laying waste to the buildings and structures around them. The Balrog takes his fire laden sword and shoves it deep into the side of Godzilla but as Godzilla is falling the monster brings his 2 immensely powerful arms down onto the head and neck of the Balrog and cause the evil Mordor soldier to join him in death. Plo Koon takes advantage of the fleeing forces by ducking down in a corner and keeping safe so he can wait for the perfect time for attack. Plo Koon sees Blitzwing land and transform back into his tank form once he feels he is far enough away from the Godzilla/Balrog fight but this is when Master Koon strikes. He uses his Jedi speed to run faster than the eye can see at Blitzwing. Before the Decepticon even notices he is being attacked Plo Koon jumps onto the top of Blitzwing with his lightsaber drawn and slices the gun off of the top of the tank. He then jumps inside and begins swinging his lightsaber around wildly doing a massive amount of damage to the Transformer until his spark is destroyed. Gideon and Plo Koon regroup and stand back to back as they realize that they are the only 2 remaining members of the Horsemen. They are surrounded by Neo, Swindel, & Blast-Off to one side and Fortress Maximus & Space Ghost to the other while the still armed but damaged Titan #2 is limping up in the distance. Neo begins to give an order to Team but Gideon turns to Plo Koon and says “Darkseid told us to go after the leaders first”. Which is what they do as they interrupt Neo’s order not with their words, but with their actions. They jump into action against “the one” but he at first blocks their every attack. Gideon is able to use all of his strength to deliver a double fisted punch to Neo’s chest which sends him flying back several feet. Plo Koon then leaps toward him and plunges his lightsaber into Neo’s chest. Gideon and Plo Koon start to fall back so they can take out the limping Titan before it regroups with the rest of its team. Blast-Off gets tired of this final stand and transforms into Space Shuttle form and flies directly at Gideon. Blast-Off is not thinking for a second that any humanoid can get hit by a Space ship and survive, or that he will even feel more than a bump as he does but as Blast-Off hits Gideon the Decepticon folds in like and accordion. The rest of Team is shocked to see him still alive as the wrecked Decepticon bounces off into the distance. Gideon attempts to stand up but he looks like he has just gotten hit by a space shuttle (cause he has); truly amazed by the durability of the mutant Fortress Maximus transforms back into city form. After this transformation takes place Fortress Maximus, his head, Swindel, and what is left of Titan #2 blast the weakened Gideon with all of the fire power they have and finally destroy him. Plo Koon force pushes Fortress Maximus’ head (in robot form) over separating his head (Spike) from its body and then jumps into the stomach of Swindel slicing him nearly in half with his lightsaber. Team is scared of what this powerful Jedi, who although outnumbered could possibly do to them until several blasts come from the air while Plo Koon is dismantling the last remaining Combaticon. Plo Koon is hit with 2 laser blasts, 1 in his right hand which knocks away his lightsaber and 1 in his head; one came from Space Ghost’s arm band and the other from the little brown laser that he retrieved from Space.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Team is Superman (designated leader), Unicron, God Emperor Leto II, Godzilla, King Kong, Treebeard, Fortress Maximus, The Combaticons, Dirge, Swoop, Shockwave, Astrotrain, Blitzwing, Original Titan #1 & 2, Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Neo, Trinity, Seraph, Space Ghost w/ Jan, Jace, & Blip, Dozer #7, & The Bashar Miles Teg Ghola.
Head Coach Vandal Savage has carefully examined Team’s victory over the Backyardigans which is why he has come with a totally different strategy. He and his Horsemen have no intention of waiting for the mighty Unicron to invade the Battlefield planet below, which is why they are going to fly up too meet him. As the battle for the little brown laser begins Darkseid, Supergirl, Sinestro (carrying Parasite), Shazam, Serci, Starscream, Sunstorm, & Sixshot all take to the air, and break through the atmosphere in an attempt to bring the crux of the battle to space. Superman tells everyone to stay on the planet and to stick to their original game plan but after he sees how much of their team they are sending at Unicron and then questions whether or not they can win without the Transformer planet he changes his mind and orders several members of Team to follow him into space. When the Horsemen reach Unicron, they waste no time attacking the huge cosmic being. Darkseid and Sinestro attack from afar while Sixshot, Serci, and Shazam go in amazingly close. Unicron grabs Shazam out of the star-speckled sky and crushes the life out of the very powerful Capt. Marvel as if he were a child killing a mouse. Unicron blasts Serci with a huge laser blast that completely disintegrates her. Unicron then moves to swing his gargantuan arms at Sixshot but it is as if he can barely move. What no one on Team realized was that Sixshot was carrying passengers and that Polaris is inside the cockpit of the Decepticon using all of her strength to take control of Unicron’s metal body. She is struggling to gain control when Sixshot crashes through the undefended eye of Unicron. Once inside Sixshot opens up his cockpit but not to release Polaris because she is concentrating too hard to even move as drops of blood start to appear in her eyes and nose. The reason he opened his cockpit was to release his other passenger Circuit Breaker. Circuit Breaker jumps out and instantly starts wreaking havoc on the insides of Unicron. Darkeid smirks as he sees their plan coming together and Superman, who has just arrived orders his people to hang back because he is not sure what will happen next. Darkseid, Sinestro, Starscream (carrying Heston), & Sunstorm (carrying Josh) all fire their particular weapon/power at the weakened Unicron. As Polaris struggles to pull Unicron apart from the inside she collapses and her body and life give out just as Supergirl flies in at her top speed to deliver the killing blow to Unicron’s neck which severs the head from the body and kills the mighty Unicron. Superman is stunned to see the mammoth Unicron destroyed but this prompts him to order the full space onslaught. Superman leads the attack, going straight at Darkseid. Darkseid has no desire to fight Superman 1 on 1 simply for the sake of glory which is why Supergirl and Sinestro w/ Parasite instantly fly up to flank him. Darkseid shoots his omega beams at Superman but the man of steel continues to evade them, even as they follow behind him. Parasite simply waits, knowing that he is just a pawn in Darkseid game, Sinestro hangs back with his power built up waiting for the perfect moment to attack while Supergirl, the person who killed Superman at their last meeting flies at her cousin with the same velocity that she just used to defeat Unicron. Superman just barely gets out of her way and grabs a hold of her arm. He then uses the velocity that Supergirl had built up plus his own added strength to throw her at Darkseid and kill them both on impact. Superman is then spinning so hard in his own rotation that the Omega Beams that were fired at him finally hit right at the same time that Sinestro unleashes an unbelievable amount of Yellow energy at him and Parasite, who has been unwillingly relieved of his space suit by Sinestro (under previous orders from Darkseid) latches on to Superman, more to save his own life than anything else. With these 3 massive attacks combined even Superman is unable to withstand the abuse, especially while his power is being drained and while he is an oxygen devoid area which are all factors as to why both Superman and Parasite die. Astrotrain is flanked by both Blitzwing and Blast-Off as he flies toward Sinestro and the 2 Seekers. As they get closer Astrotrain and Blast-Off open up their side hatches. From out of Blast-Off’s hatch comes Space Ghost, followed by Jan, Jace, & Blip, and from out of Astrotrain comes the remaining 4 Combaticons, Dirge, and Swoop. Sinestro blasts a hole in the wing of Swoop, which makes it difficult for him to fly and easy for Sunstorm with Josh cheering him on from the cockpit to finish him off with some nuclear infused lasers. Sunstorm gets hit by a blast from Space Ghost that takes advantage of his instability and sends him into meltdown, but Josh in his space suit ejects just before Sunstorm goes Nuclear and explodes. Josh wielding his katana blade is joined by Charleton Heston who ejects out of Starscream and is carrying the little brown laser. Josh slices the head off of Jace but Blip comes to the rescue and pulls out Josh’s air hose and kills him. Heston then shoots the monkey in its space helmet, and then does the same to Jan, but Space Ghost then shoots Heston with his arm blaster and kills him. Starscream chases down Dirge and blows him to pieces and then transforms into robot form and lands on top of Astrotrain. Starscream knows exactly where to hit the triple changer with a mix of melee attacks and laser blasts to render him functionless. The Combaticons merge to form Bruticus and begin battling the much smaller Sinestro. Blitzwing blasts Starscream off of the back of the dead hull which was once Astrotrain where he is blasted into Bruticus and then crushed to death by his own creation. Sinestro goes into his battle with Bruticus very confident, and with his power he has good reason to do so. The yellow lantern starts to put quite a hurting on the gestalt, but what he does not expect is to be simultaneously hit from blasts by Blitzwing and Space Ghost which mess up his concentration long enough for him to be crushed to death by the huge hands of Bruticus. Meanwhile back on the battlefield Sabertooth and Elixir run into the desert in search for God Emperor Leto II. Sabertooth has assured Vandal Savage, Darkseid, and most importantly his Myrmidon captain Achilles that if Wolverine could take this guy last week than he would have no problem. Once they are about 100 yards into the dunes Leto pops out of the sand. Elixir starts to try to attack the God Emperor on a molecular level. It seems to work as the half-worm’s body begins to deteriorate back into sand Trout but the ruler of 1 million worlds keeps reversing the effects. Leto then dives back below the sand to replenish himself out of fear that that attack could work. Sabertooth smells something and jumps out of the way but Elixir is crushed by the worm before he dives back into the sands. Sabertooth is much larger than Wolverine but his size is still considerably smaller than that of The Tyrant. As Leto jumps into the air Sabertooth grabs onto the side of him and begins clawing and ripping away the hardened dry skin of Leto, but in this case being the second best at what you do is not quite good enough as Leto sinks his crysknife teeth into the mutant and then pulls him as they are diving down into the desert sands. Godzilla and King Kong are walking side by side in the city streets when Tommy Oliver from atop one of the taller buildings blows into his emerald whistle and summons the Dragon Zord. Once it shows up and trounces around the buildings causing random sparks to go off for a couple of minutes it does the ultimate attack; and by ultimate attack I mean that it shoots a huge Z at King Kong and blows him up. The Dragon Zord then starts to awkwardly fight with Godzilla. They are very evenly matched, as they trade hits with each other but when Fortress Maximus transforms into robot form to come and lend a hand the Fortress Maximus and Godzilla team-up succeed in busting apart the Dragon Zord. Fortress Maximus gets in the final hit against the Zord but Godzilla shoots the Green Ranger with his fire breath to kill Tommy. Gozar: The Gozarian leaps in front of the large Treebeard when Zuul and Vince Clortho in their dog-like monster form jump out to attack the huge Ent. The 2 beasts begin clawing at the oldest living thing in Middle Earth but much like the Wargs that Treebeard has been fighting for centuries he throws the 2 creatures to the ground and then crushes them with his powerful hands. Gozar then disappears and Treebeard hears the words “choose” come out of the heavens as if it were the Valor themselves talking to him. Treebeard then inadvertently chooses what he fears most as a giant flaming axe comes and cuts him to pieces while he is burning. The ghola of the Bashar Miles Teg runs by the axe so fast that it goes out like a shaken match, causing it to fall to the ground where it is rendered useless until it is picked up by The Balrog of Moria. The Evil version of Paul Atreides attacks Plo Koon with his Harkonen knife. He swings wildly at Master Koon and slashes open his shoulder but Koon comes back hard with his aggressive Form 5 style which he uses to cut off both Paulo’s right hand and head. Trinity jumps in front of the much larger Witch King and Seraph starts running over to lend her a hand. Seraph never reaches his destination though because he is cut off by Achilles. Seraph shoots 2 pistols at Achilles but he hides behind his shield and then rolls out of the way. Seraph then tries to attack him with some lightning fast Kung-Fu moves but Achilles has no problem dodging them and then kicking Seraph to the side. Achilles then jumps on top of Seraph and says “Your Oracle is afraid of me” as he stabs Seraph through the heart. The Witch King is very powerful but without his horse or Fell Beast to ride on he cannot even come close to keeping up with the much faster Trinity. Trinity dodges the sword swings of The Witch King and then rolls up underneath his robe. Once in close she pulls out her twin Glocks and says “Possess this” as she blows him away with a needed woman’s touch. Trinity stands victorious over The Witch King but another soldier of Mordor comes to avenge the former ruler of Angmar. Trinity tries to rush the huge Balrog but the evil creature throws some fire her direction and then crushes her with his massive firey weapon. Neo is rushing into battle and dodging ranged attacks from Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange takes to the air thinking that that will keep Neo away from him but Neo takes flight as well. Neo plows right through Strange’s attacks and puts a fatal karate chop into the wizard’s neck. Shockwave, who has been the default leader of Team since the departure of Superman transforms into his huge gun form and takes aim at Scarlet Witch. Scarlet Witch does not see the attack coming but she is saved when The Black Queen pushes her out of the way. Shockwave is about to shoot again but Scarlet Witch turns the nearby Dozer #7 into a hand grenade which Selene telekinetically throws into the barrel of Shockwave right before it blows up. Gideon flies in toward the Miles Teg ghola using the powers of Supergirl and Shazam which he has still retained from before the match. Miles Teg shoots him with a maula pistol but it is not fatal and with the help of Sabertooth’s healing factor it is quickly mended. Gideon taps into the genetic template of his opponent and begins moving at the same rapid rate as Miles Teg. Miles Teg has a little bit more of a mastery of these powers but with Gideon’s other stolen skills he has the upper hand. As the old Bashar rushes toward Gideon, Gideon moves out of the way just in the nick of time and catches Teg with an elbow to the face which when you consider the added velocity from both individuals would be about as powerful as being hit in the face with a small jet. Cable leads the army of Jamie Madroxes against the 2 massive Titans. Titan #1 has opted for a well armored flying cymek while Titan #2 has inserted himself into a slow-moving but truly massive tank-like cymek with enough fire-power to fight a small scale war. The Madrox multiples die quick but the Multiple Man regenerates them just as fast. Cable has much experience leading soldiers against futuristic machines and the Titans have just as much experience in being outnumbered by many weaker hethrigir. Most of the Multiples are carrying futuristic laser rifles like the one wielded by Cable which is what they use to swarm the huge Titan #2. Cable sees the possible success of this plan but the flying Titan #1 keeps blasting most of the multiples before they can get in close enough. Cable concentrates hard with his telepathic powers in an attempt to get into the mind of the well-guarded and very advanced Titan Cymek. Cable finally finds the brain waves of Titan #1 and attacks them. The many century old brain within the Titan’s protected canister is shocked to witness another being’s brain waves within his own and does not even realize that he is being forced to crash himself hard into the water which he is no way equipped to handle. Titan #1 dies but he does manage to establish the mental link with the other Titan who heeds this warning quickly. Titan #2 diverts his attention from the multiples to target Cable with 3 huge missiles that blow the warrior from the future apart. The Multiples continue to attack the Titan and are making great progress in breaking through to the brain canister. Several of the multiples blast open the side of the already damaged Cymek and reveal the human brain within it. The Cymek is already having trouble moving and has wasted a ton of ammo against the ever growing multiple army. The multiples rip off the protective covering and start shooting the brain while the rest of them start cheering victoriously, but much like the Cymeks used to do against the mighty Omnius this brain was a fake and was not nearly as protected as the actual human brain inside the great Titan. The fake brain explodes with a barrage of shrapnel to compliment the already huge amount of artillery that the Cymek was firing which kills the remaining multiples including Jamie Madrox himself. The members of Team that were up in space finally reach the Battlefield and regroup with the rest of their teammates in the desert. Achilles orders his team to regroup as well in the city. Neo and Achilles now seem to be acting as the leaders of their respective teams which is why they begin to square off with each other as soon as the 2 teams are within each others range. Achilles moves on the battlefield with amazing grace and in the beginning is matching every one of Neo’s moves, despite Neo’s superhuman speed but Achilles’ ego is excessive and he does not realize quite how superhuman his opponent is. When Neo blocks Achilles sword with his bear forearm it shocks even the great Achilles. This second of surprise was then all Neo needed to finish off Achilles with a Sai through the eye, and then a bear handed karate chop to go through his famous ankle. Gideon is moving through the desert at unbelievable speed when the massive God Emperor pops out of the sand. Leto lunges at Gideon but the mutant runs straight up the side of Leto’s body and then barrels into him as if he were a human screw driver to kill the reincarnation of Shai Halud. The Black Queen and her teammate for the day Scarlet Witch see no other option than to go up against the giant transformers known as Bruticus and Fortress Maximus. Scarlet Witch starts to turn the rubber from some of the Combaticons into a strange clay like substance that covers the chest of Bruticus and begins to make it impossible for them to stay together but Fortress Maximus comes to the aid of his once enemy and crushes the Scarlet Witch with his mammoth fist. Black Queen then sends the other 4 Combaticons scattering with her telekinesis. The leg of Bruticus comes flying at Fortress Maximus but the huge city in robot form bats it away, destroying his own teammate out of necessity. Only Swindel and Blast-Off remain alive from the massive attack which used the Decepticons own massive weight against them but once the 2 surviving Combaticons come to and back up Fortress Maximus it makes for a pretty unfair triple team as they blast Selene apart with their Cybertronian lasers. The Mighty Balrog of Moria has never before fought anything bigger than himself but that changes as he faces off against Godzilla. Godzilla breaths his own strange brand of fire at the Balrog but it does not have much affect on the creature of Mordor which is why the 2 opponent opt for a close range battle instead. Every remaining member of both teams scatter as they 2 massive beasts do battle destroying every thing in sight and laying waste to the buildings and structures around them. The Balrog takes his fire laden sword and shoves it deep into the side of Godzilla but as Godzilla is falling the monster brings his 2 immensely powerful arms down onto the head and neck of the Balrog and cause the evil Mordor soldier to join him in death. Plo Koon takes advantage of the fleeing forces by ducking down in a corner and keeping safe so he can wait for the perfect time for attack. Plo Koon sees Blitzwing land and transform back into his tank form once he feels he is far enough away from the Godzilla/Balrog fight but this is when Master Koon strikes. He uses his Jedi speed to run faster than the eye can see at Blitzwing. Before the Decepticon even notices he is being attacked Plo Koon jumps onto the top of Blitzwing with his lightsaber drawn and slices the gun off of the top of the tank. He then jumps inside and begins swinging his lightsaber around wildly doing a massive amount of damage to the Transformer until his spark is destroyed. Gideon and Plo Koon regroup and stand back to back as they realize that they are the only 2 remaining members of the Horsemen. They are surrounded by Neo, Swindel, & Blast-Off to one side and Fortress Maximus & Space Ghost to the other while the still armed but damaged Titan #2 is limping up in the distance. Neo begins to give an order to Team but Gideon turns to Plo Koon and says “Darkseid told us to go after the leaders first”. Which is what they do as they interrupt Neo’s order not with their words, but with their actions. They jump into action against “the one” but he at first blocks their every attack. Gideon is able to use all of his strength to deliver a double fisted punch to Neo’s chest which sends him flying back several feet. Plo Koon then leaps toward him and plunges his lightsaber into Neo’s chest. Gideon and Plo Koon start to fall back so they can take out the limping Titan before it regroups with the rest of its team. Blast-Off gets tired of this final stand and transforms into Space Shuttle form and flies directly at Gideon. Blast-Off is not thinking for a second that any humanoid can get hit by a Space ship and survive, or that he will even feel more than a bump as he does but as Blast-Off hits Gideon the Decepticon folds in like and accordion. The rest of Team is shocked to see him still alive as the wrecked Decepticon bounces off into the distance. Gideon attempts to stand up but he looks like he has just gotten hit by a space shuttle (cause he has); truly amazed by the durability of the mutant Fortress Maximus transforms back into city form. After this transformation takes place Fortress Maximus, his head, Swindel, and what is left of Titan #2 blast the weakened Gideon with all of the fire power they have and finally destroy him. Plo Koon force pushes Fortress Maximus’ head (in robot form) over separating his head (Spike) from its body and then jumps into the stomach of Swindel slicing him nearly in half with his lightsaber. Team is scared of what this powerful Jedi, who although outnumbered could possibly do to them until several blasts come from the air while Plo Koon is dismantling the last remaining Combaticon. Plo Koon is hit with 2 laser blasts, 1 in his right hand which knocks away his lightsaber and 1 in his head; one came from Space Ghost’s arm band and the other from the little brown laser that he retrieved from Space.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Le' Napoleon Brigade is Gandalf w/ Shadowfax, Wonderwoman & Wondergirl, Poison Ivy, Skyfire, Alan Scott, Hecate, Penguin, Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12, Allia Atreides, The Sando Aqua Monster, Emperor Paplatine, Jaws: The Shark, Snow Trooper #46-50, Storm Trooper #51, Aragorn Son of Arathorn, John Mclaine, Morpheus, Jules Winfield & Vincent Vega, Atreides Soldier #1-6, Catwoman, Evil Lynn, Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troops #1-6, Marcellus Wallace, Arwen Evenstar, Horse #26-31, Vito Corleone, Santino Corleone, Silver Dragon #1-6, Ron Meyer, & Lala.
George Washington's Slaves are Yoda w/ Kybuck, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1-5, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Cosmos, Hound, Fell Beast #1, Sauron, Suk Doctor #1 & 2, Sandworm #15 & 16, Thor, Collossus, Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Al Dawg, Sayid Jarrah, Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee, Corbin Dallas, Santa Claus w/ Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, & Rudolf, Sgt. Slaughter w/ Mercer, Taurus, & Red Dog, Jimmy Nuetron, & Cthulu.
Ron Meyer wastes no time as he runs across the grassland toward his arch-enemy Al Dogg. He is furious to see the man that he brutally murdered once again alive. He yells “I thought Al Dogg’s go to heaven, now welcome to Hell” as he rushes toward the dog they call Al wielding his favorite shovel. Right before he swings the large garden tool Al Dizzle flicks his joint at Meyer and hits him in the eye. Meyer flinches and screams while Al Dawg says “What? You don’t like the blunt, gotta problem with da weed”? Al Dog then picks up the shovel and hits Ron Meyer in the head with it, caving in his skull. Al is ecstatic at his first ever Fantasy Fantasy kill which prompts him to start jumping up and down and then die of excitement. Yoda and Gandalf, atop their steeds Kybuck and Shadowfax ride toward each other to do battle while Emperor Palpatine and Sauron begin the battle of the dark lords not to far from them. Santa Claus takes to the air in his sleigh with his BFF Corbin Dallas riding shotgun and the Slaves newly appointed air commander Stonewall Jackson and Suk Doctor #2 riding in the back with the presents. Jimmy Nuetron had planned to put together one heck of a contraption for the NLCS this week but much to his dismay he spent the entire week repairing Optimus Prime from the damage he sustained in Week 1’s match against Better Than All of You. So Jimmy is riding in Optimus as the Autobot leader is driving through the city streets when Hecate flies in from above to attack. She starts shooting at Optimus with her archaic weaponry (archaic in this case means that it will be invented in about 6000 years). Jimmy Nuetron from inside the cab remotely opens the back of Optimus’ trailer to release Roller but the huge Cymek makes short work of the tough little Autobot when she targets him with an artillery blast. Optimus then jumps into the air and transforms into robot form while Jimmy shoots out the side of Prime by using his newly installed ejection seat. It dos not work out very well for the boy genius though as he is quickly shot out of the air by a laser blast from Hecate. Optimus Prime begins shooting his laser rifle at Hecate but it does very little damage to the hull of the huge former Titan. He then jumps onto the side of Hecate and tries to use his laser axe to cut through the hull of Hecate in an attempt to get to the human brain of the cymek. This works a little bit better but he is then thrown from Hecate when she extends a crane like metal arm from her body which throws him into several buildings and destroys almost an entire city block. Hecate then circles around and targets the Autobot leader with enough fire power to level half of a city; which it does along with Optimus Prime. Cthulu dives deep down into the depths of the water to meet the Brigade’s water creatures head on. Jaws bites the leg of the huge Cthulu but the Ancient One knocks the Great White Shark away as if he was a minnow. The Sando Aqua Monster begins pounding his powerful fists into Cthulu but it does not seem to have enough power to take him out. Jaws regains its composure and begins swimming back toward Cthulu but Cthulu grabs the shark and bites it in the side to kill it. While Cthulu is biting the life out of Jaws The agile Sando Aqua Monster gets behind Cthulu and rips the head of the monster right off so it can enjoy a feast like it has never experienced. Cosmos takes flight but Skyfire takes off right behind him. The 2 flying Autobots begin to engage in a dogfight but they both have an idea up their sleeves (or exhaust pipes or luggage compartments or wherever it is that a Transformer keeps an idea). While in mid-air Skyfire opens up his hatch an out flies Alan Scott but evidently the first great American and the last great Frenchman had the same idea because Cosmos opens up his hath and out flies both Arisia and Martian Manhunter. Alan Scott could put up a pretty good fight against either one of these opponents but he does not stand much of a chance double-teamed. Skyfire and Cosmos have commenced their dog-fight when Skyfire loops around to get behind Cosmos. He then locks on with his lasers and blows the little flying saucer out of the air. Skyfire then turns back around to try to help out his homeboy Alan Scott. Alan Scott has no time to even think about an offense as he flies around the skies just trying to stay away from Arisia and Martian Manhunter. Skyfire flies in and transforms into robot form but double M flies in to meet him with a huge punch to chest which breaks right into the metal body of Skyfire. Alan Scott then takes this opportunity to blast Martian Manhunter with as much magical green energy as he can, but he inadvertently hits his own teammate as well. The green blast both hits Martian Manhunter and blows Skyfire to pieces causing a huge firey explosion which helps to finish of Manhunter as well. Arisia takes this opportunity to avenge her teammate by creating a huge green fist with her own power ring and crush the skull of the original Green Lantern just like her former boyfriend Hal Jordan always used to do. Fell Beast #1 flies in to help his master Sauron against Emperor Palpatine but Palpatine quickly jumps into the air with his lightsaber and slices the neck of the Mordor creature. The Dark Lord of the Sith and The Dark Lord of Mordor are in no way used to fighting a being who is as evil as they are and neither one of them quite knows how to deal with it. Palpatine conjures up as much force power as he can muster and blasts it at the Evil One but Sauron simply absorbs it with the one ring as if it was always part of it. Darth Sideous then redraws his lightsaber and jumps at Sauron. Palpatine manages to cut off his left arm at the elbow but with one mighty swing of his huge Mace, Sauron hits Palpatine in the chest and sends him crashing to the ground with a broken neck, among other bones. Aragorn and Arwen come riding in on their horses (#26 & 27) to attack the one-armed Sauron. Arwen casts a spell to try and distract the Dark Lord but he knocks her from horse #27, killing the animal. But the distraction works because as he is doing this Aragorn takes the sword that was broken and forged again and cuts the One Ring off of Sauron much like his ancestor Isildor did so many generations before. Santa Claus swoops down low over the arctic landscape and Stonewall Jackson & Corbin Dallas easily take all 6Snow Troopers by surprise, blasting every one of them but John Mclaine with Lala on his back leaps up and grabs on to the back of the sleigh. Santa flies higher and higher into the air in a Ho Ho hurry to try to send Mclaine plummeting to his doom but he & Lala, who have developed a strange almost father and daughter like relationship since she was picked up on waivers after week 1 continue to hold on. John Mclaine turns his head to Lala and says “What the f&*k are we doing on the back this sleigh” he then adds “how the f&*k did I end up in this crazy league, I can’t believe I’m about to f&*^g fight Santa Claus; how the hell does this S&*t keep happening to me”? Lala adds nothing because I don’t think she can talk (at least I never heard her say anything in the video game, maybe that’s why Lolo thought she was the perfect woman)? Mclaine then flings himself onto the back off the sleigh sending many presents to the gentiles below them. He says “You suck doctor” as he throws Suk Doctor #2 off of the side of the sleigh, but then Corbin Dallas shoots Lala off of Mclaine’s back. Mclaine screams “You shot my F&*+^g fur ball, I’m gonna kill you Mot*&^%r”. Corbin Dallas then turns to his bud Chris Cringle and says “What super-hero is this guy A**hole man”? The 2 of them then start beating the crap out of each other in the back of the sleigh. Stonewall Jackson pulls out his revolver to try and shoot Mclaine but he can’t tell him and Corbin Dallas apart so he doesn’t. Then while Santa is trying to keep control of the rocking sleigh the 6 Atreides Soldiers from down below, who don’t realize that they have a teammate on board open fire on the sleigh with their lasguns. They kill Dasher, Rudolf, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen and also sever the reins that were connecting the surviving reindeer to the sleigh. Just like they had practiced for many years Dancer and Prancer instantly swoop back and catch St. Nick out of the air (it takes 2 reindeer to carry the chubby old geezer). Gen. Jackson jumps onto the back of Comet, but before Corbin Dallas can get on the back of Vixen John Mclaine gets on the reindeer instead. Mclaine kicks Dallas in the head and knocks him off the reindeer to his death as he is saying “Happy trails Mot&*^%r”! Dancer and Prancer start lowering the Jolly old Saint to the ground, but Stonewall Jackson tells Comet to fly away from this place so they can try to regroup their air attack. John Mclaine shoots Vixen in the back of the head right before he lands and then rolls off into the snow. Just as Santa is about to thank his two magical reindeer for bringing him safely to the ground Penguin turns them into venison with his umbrella machine gun. So the furious Chris Cringle turns the naughty Penguin into a Jack in the Box. Jules Winfield and Vincent Vega lead a small scouting squad into the desert that consists of themselves, Storm Trooper #51 & Vito Corleone and Marcellus Wallace atop Horses #30 & 31. They wander into the desert but after only a few minutes of repeated motions they are all consumed by Sandworm #15. Evil Lynn and Karg are riding on Horses #28 & 29 with their 6 Crack troops marching in front of them when Hound comes racing up with Sgt. Slaughter and the Renegades in his open-aired seats. Slaughter and the boys originally wanted to go on this mission with no weapons for an added challenge but Head Coach George Washington thought that that was the dumbest idea since Thomas Jefferson inviting the English soldiers in for afternoon tea. This was a very good decision of the part of the father of our country because the “sarge” and his renegades made pretty quick work of all 8 of Skeletor’s goons and their horses with Hound moving fast enough to take the troops by surprise. Suddenly the match is stopped so the Watchers can execute an order of the coaches. In a very unorthodox decision Head Coach George Washington has agreed to allow his 2 Sandworms to be removed from the battle, and in return Napoleon Bonaparte will have the Sando Aqua Monster removed as well. They say that they would rather just fight with their remaining forces than have to try to attack these creatures in there own habitat. Wonder Woman is pissed as she turns to Wonder Girl and says “What is that crotchety little midget thinking, I’ll tell you what. I don’t want any more crap about me retreating after this stunt”. Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl then run into the now safe desert and are met by Ki Adi Mundi and Gen. Robert E. Lee. Wonder Woman turns to her sidekick and says “don’t worry; trust me these old Jedi are not as tough as they seem”. She then provides Ki Adi Mundi with a new saying for his kids when she shows him that “the dark side hath no fury like an amazon woman’s scorn” as she dodges the swings of his lightsaber and then ducks behind him to snap his neck. Wonder Girl then runs up to Gen. Lee and kicks him in the face, snapping his neck as well. The 6 Silver Dragons fly in unison toward Jedi Masters #1-5 who have gathered toward the edge of the grassland. Jedi Master #1 jumps into the air and onto the back of Silver Dragon #4. He sticks his green lightsaber into the neck of the dragon and kills it. The other Jedi attempt to imitate this move but they are not all as successful as their leader. Jedi Masters #3 & 5 kill dragon #2 & 6, but dragon #5 kills master #2 and dragon #3 wipes out both Jedi #3 & 4 with a massive breath of fire. Jedi #1 & 5 work together to kill dragon #5, but only Jedi #1 survives the attack as Jedi #5 takes a wrong step and plummets to the ground. Jedi #1 does his patented move on Silver Dragon #1 but when he jumps toward Dragon #3 he is snatched out of the air by the dragon’s teeth and ripped in half. Neither Gandalf nor Yoda was able to protect Shadowfax or Kybuck from each other in the epic fight that has been going on since the beginning of the battle. They are both very worn out from their fight but neither opponent is allowing themselves to shown signs of wear. Yoda leaps at the much larger wizard but Gandalf knocks him aside with his staff sending Yoda one way and his lightsaber in the other direction. Gandalf now attacks the weaponless Yoda with Glamdring but Yoda hits him with a massive force push which knocks Gandalf to the ground and renders him weaponless as well. The 2 mighty warriors then both use their powers against each other but they find themselves in a virtual stalemate as neither of them budge despite the massive power that is being directed at them. Once the 2 exhausted fighters realize that they cannot decide this battle by a test of will, Gandalf rolls to the side to try to grab his sword Glamdring from the ground but while he is doing this Yoda uses the force to retrieve his weapon which he then throws at Gandalf and hits him in the heart. Catwoman moves against Shaak Ti. The 2 of them show off their athletic prowess as they jump around dodging each other’s blows. Catwoman claws Shaak Ti’s face but she recovers from the scratch and cuts off Selena Kyle’s left hand before she finishes her off with a lightsaber through the chest. Poison Ivy sends a vine out of the ground at Sayid Jarrah which hits him with some deadly poisonous toxin. Stonewall Jackson atop Comet then comes flies down to try to help but Poison Ivy sends a tree root out of the ground which impales both him and the reindeer. Suk Doctor #1 runs up next to the dying Sayid who thinks that his life is surely over, but the well-trained doctor knows exactly what to do. After being trained to identify numerous toxins that are used by the noble houses of the Landsraad he administers an antidote which works almost immediately on the former Iraqi Republican Guardsmen. Poison Ivy who thought she was done with this puny threat turns to the 2 of them and shoots an extremely thorny and sharp branch at the 2 of them. Suk Doctor #1 once again saves Sayid’s life as he jumps in front on the fatal attack. She then tries to turn this attack toward Sayid but he dodges out of the way and rolls toward Poison Ivy. She begins to pull more weeds out of the ground in an attempt to strangle Sayid but he is too quick. He jumps into the air and kicks Poison Ivy in the back of the head. He then jumps down of top of her and cracks her neck. Thor the god of Thunder flies down and asks the question “who dares oppose the son of Odin and rightful heir of Asgard”. Morpheus and Duncan Idaho aren’t really the type of people who would say something witty or even answer yes to a question like that but they are the people who decide to answer the call. Duncan Idaho swings his Atreides sword at Thor but Thor hits it with Mjonir and breaks it in half. Thor then tries to hit them both with his hammer knowing that one hit from the mighty weapon would easily put them away but his 2 opponents move so quickly that he is unable to land a blow on either one of them. Idaho catches his arm on a backswing and knocks the hammer out of his hand. Morpheus tries to pick it up but is unable to even budge the Asgardian weapon. Thor picks his weapon back up and throws it at Morpheus who dodges the attack, but Thor’s real plan is to have it do damage on the way back. Duncan Idaho is standing right in front of Thor as Mjonir begins to return to him but Thor underestimates how fast a Kwisatz Haderach can move. Duncan Idaho sees this event before it even happens which is how he moves out of the way allowing Thor to be hit and killed by his own weapon. Sonny Corleone has been following around Allia Atreides for weeks because he thinks she is the “hottest broad in the whole Brigade” which is why he helps back her up when she runs up to fight this huge Russian dude. They soon find out the Colossus is more than a huge Russian dude as he instantly covers his body with organic metal. Allia dodges Colossus’ hits but Sonny finds that his Tommy Gun has virtually no effect on Colossus right before Piter caves in Sonny’s face. Allia continues to evade Colossus’s attacks but then she rolls backward and flips into the air landing a couple feet away from the huge mutant. She then concentrates her energy into one controlled burst and uses the weirding ways that were taught to her by her mother before she was even born. She hits Colossus with every thing she has got and takes his head clean off. The self-proclaimed “Jedi-Killer” Wonder Woman and her sidekick Wonder Girl run up to Shaak Ti who has just regrouped with Yoda. The 4 of them rush at each other but just for size reasons Wonder Girl heads toward Yoda and Wonder Woman towards Shaak Ti. Wonder Woman grabs a hold of Shaak Ti and crushes her head but Yoda gets Wonder Girl with a quick lightsaber jab through the heart. Wonder Woman is furious as she turns to attack the little green Jedi Master but her fury is not enough to carry her through this one as Yoda jumps into the air over Wonder Woman and than cuts off her head on the way down. Hound, Sgt. Slaughter and the boys now roll up on the 6 Atreides Soldiers who are being led by Arwen who is now riding Aragorn’s Horse #26 (because Strider is such a gentleman). Arwen rides in front of Hound thinking she can stop the Jeep with her magic but she is wrong. Hound hits Arwen killing her and Horse #26 but in doing so the Renegades are thrown from Hound. They get back up but they are already being attacked by the Atreides soldiers. Sgt. Slaughter jumps up and takes out Soldier #1 & 3, but #2 & 5 double team Red Dog and kill him. Taurus kills #5 with his Saracen sword and Mercer takes out #2 with his M-16. The other 2 Soldiers are about to shoot Sgt. Slaughter in the back when Hound, now in robot form blasts the 2 of them with his laser gun. Hecate, who is running low on fire power from her perhaps overkill attack on Optimus Prime uses up her last missile on Santa Claus. Arisia flies in to fight with Duncan Idaho and Morpheus but Allia comes to help out. Arisia blasts Morpheus with a flurry of shots from her power ring which he is able to dodge for a while but he is proves to be no chosen one as she eventually hits him and kills him with a potent dose of green energy. Duncan Idaho rushes at Arisia but she takes flight to avoid him. Arisia pays close attention to Idaho’s every move but she does not realize that she is caught up in an ancient Atreides battle plan to draw her attention where it need not be. The ranged attack comes from the other side as a well-aimed crysknife from Allia hits Arisia in the neck. Sayid and John Mclaine both miss several times with their now emptied guns which is why they have jumped onto each other and are rolling on the ground both bloodied and bruised. I was dying to find out who would win this match-up of crazy tough dudes when a perfectly aimed arrow from Aragorn went right into Sayid’s eye. Mclaine then popped up off the ground and said to Aragorn “What the F*&k man, you trying to F*&^g kill me, & besides I had that guy”. After a couple of minutes of cooling off Mclaine then said “Hey Strider, thanks for helping me out back there”. Aragorn nodded and patted his new friend on the back. The remaining members of Napoleon’s squad were wondering why Hecate all of the sudden left the battlefield and flew in to space after she killed Santa Claus, but they didn’t have time to dwell on it. Hecate had flown in to space to meditate and think for a minute about what she had to do like she had done for so many centuries while her fellow Titans were ruling over human planets. Hecate then decided that she must do what is necessary to help her team gain victory which is why she races back to the battlefield at an unbelievable speed. Hecate realizes that although she is out of weapons, she herself is a weapon which is why she then heads right for some of the remaining members of George Washington’s Slaves. Mercer sees what appears to be a huge comet coming at them and yells to take cover but only he and Sgt. Slaughter get away in time as Hecate crashes herself into Hound in a suicide mission which kills both of them and Taurus as well. The 2 of them are then dive bombed again as Silver Dragon #3 comes down and bites Mercer’s head off with its razor sharp teeth. Sgt. Slaughter jumps on to the back of Aragorn and starts punching him repeatedly, but this time it John Mclaine’s turn to help out as he grabs the Elven Knife out of Aragorn hip sheath and plunges it into the side of Sgt. Slaughter. We all know how difficult it must be to become the Senior Jedi on the Jedi Council and to hold that position for several centuries and we all understand how powerful a person must be to attain that kind of recognition, but the extremely exhausted little green Jedi Master known as Yoda even some odds are to extreme. As Yoda stands on the grassy plains, the sole member of George Washington’s Slaves he realizes that he is pretty severely outnumbered as he becomes surrounded by Duncan Idaho, Allia Atreides, Aragorn, John Mclaine, & Silver Dragon #3. Yoda never gives up and goes for the biggest threat first as jumps at the 12th and most powerful Mentat Ghola version of Duncan Idaho and relieves him of his head. He then blocks the Silver Dragon’s fire with the force and cuts off his head at the base of its large neck, but all great runs do come to an end as Allia knocks the Jedi to the ground and Aragorn finishes off an opponent he has definitely grown to respect with his famous sword.
LE’ NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!
George Washington's Slaves are Yoda w/ Kybuck, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1-5, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Cosmos, Hound, Fell Beast #1, Sauron, Suk Doctor #1 & 2, Sandworm #15 & 16, Thor, Collossus, Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Al Dawg, Sayid Jarrah, Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee, Corbin Dallas, Santa Claus w/ Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, & Rudolf, Sgt. Slaughter w/ Mercer, Taurus, & Red Dog, Jimmy Nuetron, & Cthulu.
Ron Meyer wastes no time as he runs across the grassland toward his arch-enemy Al Dogg. He is furious to see the man that he brutally murdered once again alive. He yells “I thought Al Dogg’s go to heaven, now welcome to Hell” as he rushes toward the dog they call Al wielding his favorite shovel. Right before he swings the large garden tool Al Dizzle flicks his joint at Meyer and hits him in the eye. Meyer flinches and screams while Al Dawg says “What? You don’t like the blunt, gotta problem with da weed”? Al Dog then picks up the shovel and hits Ron Meyer in the head with it, caving in his skull. Al is ecstatic at his first ever Fantasy Fantasy kill which prompts him to start jumping up and down and then die of excitement. Yoda and Gandalf, atop their steeds Kybuck and Shadowfax ride toward each other to do battle while Emperor Palpatine and Sauron begin the battle of the dark lords not to far from them. Santa Claus takes to the air in his sleigh with his BFF Corbin Dallas riding shotgun and the Slaves newly appointed air commander Stonewall Jackson and Suk Doctor #2 riding in the back with the presents. Jimmy Nuetron had planned to put together one heck of a contraption for the NLCS this week but much to his dismay he spent the entire week repairing Optimus Prime from the damage he sustained in Week 1’s match against Better Than All of You. So Jimmy is riding in Optimus as the Autobot leader is driving through the city streets when Hecate flies in from above to attack. She starts shooting at Optimus with her archaic weaponry (archaic in this case means that it will be invented in about 6000 years). Jimmy Nuetron from inside the cab remotely opens the back of Optimus’ trailer to release Roller but the huge Cymek makes short work of the tough little Autobot when she targets him with an artillery blast. Optimus then jumps into the air and transforms into robot form while Jimmy shoots out the side of Prime by using his newly installed ejection seat. It dos not work out very well for the boy genius though as he is quickly shot out of the air by a laser blast from Hecate. Optimus Prime begins shooting his laser rifle at Hecate but it does very little damage to the hull of the huge former Titan. He then jumps onto the side of Hecate and tries to use his laser axe to cut through the hull of Hecate in an attempt to get to the human brain of the cymek. This works a little bit better but he is then thrown from Hecate when she extends a crane like metal arm from her body which throws him into several buildings and destroys almost an entire city block. Hecate then circles around and targets the Autobot leader with enough fire power to level half of a city; which it does along with Optimus Prime. Cthulu dives deep down into the depths of the water to meet the Brigade’s water creatures head on. Jaws bites the leg of the huge Cthulu but the Ancient One knocks the Great White Shark away as if he was a minnow. The Sando Aqua Monster begins pounding his powerful fists into Cthulu but it does not seem to have enough power to take him out. Jaws regains its composure and begins swimming back toward Cthulu but Cthulu grabs the shark and bites it in the side to kill it. While Cthulu is biting the life out of Jaws The agile Sando Aqua Monster gets behind Cthulu and rips the head of the monster right off so it can enjoy a feast like it has never experienced. Cosmos takes flight but Skyfire takes off right behind him. The 2 flying Autobots begin to engage in a dogfight but they both have an idea up their sleeves (or exhaust pipes or luggage compartments or wherever it is that a Transformer keeps an idea). While in mid-air Skyfire opens up his hatch an out flies Alan Scott but evidently the first great American and the last great Frenchman had the same idea because Cosmos opens up his hath and out flies both Arisia and Martian Manhunter. Alan Scott could put up a pretty good fight against either one of these opponents but he does not stand much of a chance double-teamed. Skyfire and Cosmos have commenced their dog-fight when Skyfire loops around to get behind Cosmos. He then locks on with his lasers and blows the little flying saucer out of the air. Skyfire then turns back around to try to help out his homeboy Alan Scott. Alan Scott has no time to even think about an offense as he flies around the skies just trying to stay away from Arisia and Martian Manhunter. Skyfire flies in and transforms into robot form but double M flies in to meet him with a huge punch to chest which breaks right into the metal body of Skyfire. Alan Scott then takes this opportunity to blast Martian Manhunter with as much magical green energy as he can, but he inadvertently hits his own teammate as well. The green blast both hits Martian Manhunter and blows Skyfire to pieces causing a huge firey explosion which helps to finish of Manhunter as well. Arisia takes this opportunity to avenge her teammate by creating a huge green fist with her own power ring and crush the skull of the original Green Lantern just like her former boyfriend Hal Jordan always used to do. Fell Beast #1 flies in to help his master Sauron against Emperor Palpatine but Palpatine quickly jumps into the air with his lightsaber and slices the neck of the Mordor creature. The Dark Lord of the Sith and The Dark Lord of Mordor are in no way used to fighting a being who is as evil as they are and neither one of them quite knows how to deal with it. Palpatine conjures up as much force power as he can muster and blasts it at the Evil One but Sauron simply absorbs it with the one ring as if it was always part of it. Darth Sideous then redraws his lightsaber and jumps at Sauron. Palpatine manages to cut off his left arm at the elbow but with one mighty swing of his huge Mace, Sauron hits Palpatine in the chest and sends him crashing to the ground with a broken neck, among other bones. Aragorn and Arwen come riding in on their horses (#26 & 27) to attack the one-armed Sauron. Arwen casts a spell to try and distract the Dark Lord but he knocks her from horse #27, killing the animal. But the distraction works because as he is doing this Aragorn takes the sword that was broken and forged again and cuts the One Ring off of Sauron much like his ancestor Isildor did so many generations before. Santa Claus swoops down low over the arctic landscape and Stonewall Jackson & Corbin Dallas easily take all 6Snow Troopers by surprise, blasting every one of them but John Mclaine with Lala on his back leaps up and grabs on to the back of the sleigh. Santa flies higher and higher into the air in a Ho Ho hurry to try to send Mclaine plummeting to his doom but he & Lala, who have developed a strange almost father and daughter like relationship since she was picked up on waivers after week 1 continue to hold on. John Mclaine turns his head to Lala and says “What the f&*k are we doing on the back this sleigh” he then adds “how the f&*k did I end up in this crazy league, I can’t believe I’m about to f&*^g fight Santa Claus; how the hell does this S&*t keep happening to me”? Lala adds nothing because I don’t think she can talk (at least I never heard her say anything in the video game, maybe that’s why Lolo thought she was the perfect woman)? Mclaine then flings himself onto the back off the sleigh sending many presents to the gentiles below them. He says “You suck doctor” as he throws Suk Doctor #2 off of the side of the sleigh, but then Corbin Dallas shoots Lala off of Mclaine’s back. Mclaine screams “You shot my F&*+^g fur ball, I’m gonna kill you Mot*&^%r”. Corbin Dallas then turns to his bud Chris Cringle and says “What super-hero is this guy A**hole man”? The 2 of them then start beating the crap out of each other in the back of the sleigh. Stonewall Jackson pulls out his revolver to try and shoot Mclaine but he can’t tell him and Corbin Dallas apart so he doesn’t. Then while Santa is trying to keep control of the rocking sleigh the 6 Atreides Soldiers from down below, who don’t realize that they have a teammate on board open fire on the sleigh with their lasguns. They kill Dasher, Rudolf, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen and also sever the reins that were connecting the surviving reindeer to the sleigh. Just like they had practiced for many years Dancer and Prancer instantly swoop back and catch St. Nick out of the air (it takes 2 reindeer to carry the chubby old geezer). Gen. Jackson jumps onto the back of Comet, but before Corbin Dallas can get on the back of Vixen John Mclaine gets on the reindeer instead. Mclaine kicks Dallas in the head and knocks him off the reindeer to his death as he is saying “Happy trails Mot&*^%r”! Dancer and Prancer start lowering the Jolly old Saint to the ground, but Stonewall Jackson tells Comet to fly away from this place so they can try to regroup their air attack. John Mclaine shoots Vixen in the back of the head right before he lands and then rolls off into the snow. Just as Santa is about to thank his two magical reindeer for bringing him safely to the ground Penguin turns them into venison with his umbrella machine gun. So the furious Chris Cringle turns the naughty Penguin into a Jack in the Box. Jules Winfield and Vincent Vega lead a small scouting squad into the desert that consists of themselves, Storm Trooper #51 & Vito Corleone and Marcellus Wallace atop Horses #30 & 31. They wander into the desert but after only a few minutes of repeated motions they are all consumed by Sandworm #15. Evil Lynn and Karg are riding on Horses #28 & 29 with their 6 Crack troops marching in front of them when Hound comes racing up with Sgt. Slaughter and the Renegades in his open-aired seats. Slaughter and the boys originally wanted to go on this mission with no weapons for an added challenge but Head Coach George Washington thought that that was the dumbest idea since Thomas Jefferson inviting the English soldiers in for afternoon tea. This was a very good decision of the part of the father of our country because the “sarge” and his renegades made pretty quick work of all 8 of Skeletor’s goons and their horses with Hound moving fast enough to take the troops by surprise. Suddenly the match is stopped so the Watchers can execute an order of the coaches. In a very unorthodox decision Head Coach George Washington has agreed to allow his 2 Sandworms to be removed from the battle, and in return Napoleon Bonaparte will have the Sando Aqua Monster removed as well. They say that they would rather just fight with their remaining forces than have to try to attack these creatures in there own habitat. Wonder Woman is pissed as she turns to Wonder Girl and says “What is that crotchety little midget thinking, I’ll tell you what. I don’t want any more crap about me retreating after this stunt”. Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl then run into the now safe desert and are met by Ki Adi Mundi and Gen. Robert E. Lee. Wonder Woman turns to her sidekick and says “don’t worry; trust me these old Jedi are not as tough as they seem”. She then provides Ki Adi Mundi with a new saying for his kids when she shows him that “the dark side hath no fury like an amazon woman’s scorn” as she dodges the swings of his lightsaber and then ducks behind him to snap his neck. Wonder Girl then runs up to Gen. Lee and kicks him in the face, snapping his neck as well. The 6 Silver Dragons fly in unison toward Jedi Masters #1-5 who have gathered toward the edge of the grassland. Jedi Master #1 jumps into the air and onto the back of Silver Dragon #4. He sticks his green lightsaber into the neck of the dragon and kills it. The other Jedi attempt to imitate this move but they are not all as successful as their leader. Jedi Masters #3 & 5 kill dragon #2 & 6, but dragon #5 kills master #2 and dragon #3 wipes out both Jedi #3 & 4 with a massive breath of fire. Jedi #1 & 5 work together to kill dragon #5, but only Jedi #1 survives the attack as Jedi #5 takes a wrong step and plummets to the ground. Jedi #1 does his patented move on Silver Dragon #1 but when he jumps toward Dragon #3 he is snatched out of the air by the dragon’s teeth and ripped in half. Neither Gandalf nor Yoda was able to protect Shadowfax or Kybuck from each other in the epic fight that has been going on since the beginning of the battle. They are both very worn out from their fight but neither opponent is allowing themselves to shown signs of wear. Yoda leaps at the much larger wizard but Gandalf knocks him aside with his staff sending Yoda one way and his lightsaber in the other direction. Gandalf now attacks the weaponless Yoda with Glamdring but Yoda hits him with a massive force push which knocks Gandalf to the ground and renders him weaponless as well. The 2 mighty warriors then both use their powers against each other but they find themselves in a virtual stalemate as neither of them budge despite the massive power that is being directed at them. Once the 2 exhausted fighters realize that they cannot decide this battle by a test of will, Gandalf rolls to the side to try to grab his sword Glamdring from the ground but while he is doing this Yoda uses the force to retrieve his weapon which he then throws at Gandalf and hits him in the heart. Catwoman moves against Shaak Ti. The 2 of them show off their athletic prowess as they jump around dodging each other’s blows. Catwoman claws Shaak Ti’s face but she recovers from the scratch and cuts off Selena Kyle’s left hand before she finishes her off with a lightsaber through the chest. Poison Ivy sends a vine out of the ground at Sayid Jarrah which hits him with some deadly poisonous toxin. Stonewall Jackson atop Comet then comes flies down to try to help but Poison Ivy sends a tree root out of the ground which impales both him and the reindeer. Suk Doctor #1 runs up next to the dying Sayid who thinks that his life is surely over, but the well-trained doctor knows exactly what to do. After being trained to identify numerous toxins that are used by the noble houses of the Landsraad he administers an antidote which works almost immediately on the former Iraqi Republican Guardsmen. Poison Ivy who thought she was done with this puny threat turns to the 2 of them and shoots an extremely thorny and sharp branch at the 2 of them. Suk Doctor #1 once again saves Sayid’s life as he jumps in front on the fatal attack. She then tries to turn this attack toward Sayid but he dodges out of the way and rolls toward Poison Ivy. She begins to pull more weeds out of the ground in an attempt to strangle Sayid but he is too quick. He jumps into the air and kicks Poison Ivy in the back of the head. He then jumps down of top of her and cracks her neck. Thor the god of Thunder flies down and asks the question “who dares oppose the son of Odin and rightful heir of Asgard”. Morpheus and Duncan Idaho aren’t really the type of people who would say something witty or even answer yes to a question like that but they are the people who decide to answer the call. Duncan Idaho swings his Atreides sword at Thor but Thor hits it with Mjonir and breaks it in half. Thor then tries to hit them both with his hammer knowing that one hit from the mighty weapon would easily put them away but his 2 opponents move so quickly that he is unable to land a blow on either one of them. Idaho catches his arm on a backswing and knocks the hammer out of his hand. Morpheus tries to pick it up but is unable to even budge the Asgardian weapon. Thor picks his weapon back up and throws it at Morpheus who dodges the attack, but Thor’s real plan is to have it do damage on the way back. Duncan Idaho is standing right in front of Thor as Mjonir begins to return to him but Thor underestimates how fast a Kwisatz Haderach can move. Duncan Idaho sees this event before it even happens which is how he moves out of the way allowing Thor to be hit and killed by his own weapon. Sonny Corleone has been following around Allia Atreides for weeks because he thinks she is the “hottest broad in the whole Brigade” which is why he helps back her up when she runs up to fight this huge Russian dude. They soon find out the Colossus is more than a huge Russian dude as he instantly covers his body with organic metal. Allia dodges Colossus’ hits but Sonny finds that his Tommy Gun has virtually no effect on Colossus right before Piter caves in Sonny’s face. Allia continues to evade Colossus’s attacks but then she rolls backward and flips into the air landing a couple feet away from the huge mutant. She then concentrates her energy into one controlled burst and uses the weirding ways that were taught to her by her mother before she was even born. She hits Colossus with every thing she has got and takes his head clean off. The self-proclaimed “Jedi-Killer” Wonder Woman and her sidekick Wonder Girl run up to Shaak Ti who has just regrouped with Yoda. The 4 of them rush at each other but just for size reasons Wonder Girl heads toward Yoda and Wonder Woman towards Shaak Ti. Wonder Woman grabs a hold of Shaak Ti and crushes her head but Yoda gets Wonder Girl with a quick lightsaber jab through the heart. Wonder Woman is furious as she turns to attack the little green Jedi Master but her fury is not enough to carry her through this one as Yoda jumps into the air over Wonder Woman and than cuts off her head on the way down. Hound, Sgt. Slaughter and the boys now roll up on the 6 Atreides Soldiers who are being led by Arwen who is now riding Aragorn’s Horse #26 (because Strider is such a gentleman). Arwen rides in front of Hound thinking she can stop the Jeep with her magic but she is wrong. Hound hits Arwen killing her and Horse #26 but in doing so the Renegades are thrown from Hound. They get back up but they are already being attacked by the Atreides soldiers. Sgt. Slaughter jumps up and takes out Soldier #1 & 3, but #2 & 5 double team Red Dog and kill him. Taurus kills #5 with his Saracen sword and Mercer takes out #2 with his M-16. The other 2 Soldiers are about to shoot Sgt. Slaughter in the back when Hound, now in robot form blasts the 2 of them with his laser gun. Hecate, who is running low on fire power from her perhaps overkill attack on Optimus Prime uses up her last missile on Santa Claus. Arisia flies in to fight with Duncan Idaho and Morpheus but Allia comes to help out. Arisia blasts Morpheus with a flurry of shots from her power ring which he is able to dodge for a while but he is proves to be no chosen one as she eventually hits him and kills him with a potent dose of green energy. Duncan Idaho rushes at Arisia but she takes flight to avoid him. Arisia pays close attention to Idaho’s every move but she does not realize that she is caught up in an ancient Atreides battle plan to draw her attention where it need not be. The ranged attack comes from the other side as a well-aimed crysknife from Allia hits Arisia in the neck. Sayid and John Mclaine both miss several times with their now emptied guns which is why they have jumped onto each other and are rolling on the ground both bloodied and bruised. I was dying to find out who would win this match-up of crazy tough dudes when a perfectly aimed arrow from Aragorn went right into Sayid’s eye. Mclaine then popped up off the ground and said to Aragorn “What the F*&k man, you trying to F*&^g kill me, & besides I had that guy”. After a couple of minutes of cooling off Mclaine then said “Hey Strider, thanks for helping me out back there”. Aragorn nodded and patted his new friend on the back. The remaining members of Napoleon’s squad were wondering why Hecate all of the sudden left the battlefield and flew in to space after she killed Santa Claus, but they didn’t have time to dwell on it. Hecate had flown in to space to meditate and think for a minute about what she had to do like she had done for so many centuries while her fellow Titans were ruling over human planets. Hecate then decided that she must do what is necessary to help her team gain victory which is why she races back to the battlefield at an unbelievable speed. Hecate realizes that although she is out of weapons, she herself is a weapon which is why she then heads right for some of the remaining members of George Washington’s Slaves. Mercer sees what appears to be a huge comet coming at them and yells to take cover but only he and Sgt. Slaughter get away in time as Hecate crashes herself into Hound in a suicide mission which kills both of them and Taurus as well. The 2 of them are then dive bombed again as Silver Dragon #3 comes down and bites Mercer’s head off with its razor sharp teeth. Sgt. Slaughter jumps on to the back of Aragorn and starts punching him repeatedly, but this time it John Mclaine’s turn to help out as he grabs the Elven Knife out of Aragorn hip sheath and plunges it into the side of Sgt. Slaughter. We all know how difficult it must be to become the Senior Jedi on the Jedi Council and to hold that position for several centuries and we all understand how powerful a person must be to attain that kind of recognition, but the extremely exhausted little green Jedi Master known as Yoda even some odds are to extreme. As Yoda stands on the grassy plains, the sole member of George Washington’s Slaves he realizes that he is pretty severely outnumbered as he becomes surrounded by Duncan Idaho, Allia Atreides, Aragorn, John Mclaine, & Silver Dragon #3. Yoda never gives up and goes for the biggest threat first as jumps at the 12th and most powerful Mentat Ghola version of Duncan Idaho and relieves him of his head. He then blocks the Silver Dragon’s fire with the force and cuts off his head at the base of its large neck, but all great runs do come to an end as Allia knocks the Jedi to the ground and Aragorn finishes off an opponent he has definitely grown to respect with his famous sword.
LE’ NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!
Consolation Match-Round 2: The Legion of Doom -vs- Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches
The Legion of Doom is B.A. Barrackus
Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches are The Backyardigans: Tasha, Pablo, Tyrone, Austin, & Uniqua, & Storm Trooper #15.
B.A Barrackus slowly gets off of the ground from which he had just been rolling around on. He is cut up and bloody, but still alive. “I pity the fool who is still in that van”. He says this as he is looking at the sixty-eight VW bus quickly heading for a cliff; completely out of control. He can’t help but laugh as he stands there thinking about how great he was for jumping out of the bus after tearing out the break line of the aging mini-bus.
“Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t lose you heads guys, we can think of something. Oh boy, Oh man, OH BOY! What are we going to do?” Pablo screamed as the bus came increasingly close to the cliff. Uniqua looked right at Pablo and said, “Pablo, Pablo, PABLO!!!!!” Pablo stopped panicking and calmly looked at Uniqua and said, “Yeah?”
“Instead of screaming our heads off, we should put them together and solve this problem.”
“Uniqua is right Pablo, with the five of us together, we can solve anything”, a very confident Austin said to his blue penguin friend.
“Speaking of five of us though, where is Tasha?” said a very confused Uniqua as she looked at her colorful friends. The four remaining Backyardigans looked at each other and wondered where their friend had gone off too.
Tyrone looked at his friends and said, “Remember what Lord Vader said to us this week: (Tyrone in his best Vader voice) “Either all of you come back alive this week or nobody does.” So we need to make sure Tasha is alright, because I really don’t feel like having to involve myself in a ritual suicide with the four of you this week.”
The three remaining Backyardigans looked at Tyrone with a puzzled looked on their faces. “What is a ritual suicide Tyrone?” asked a very unsteady Pablo.
“It’s what were going to have to do if we don’t find a way to stop this bus, now let’s get together and think of something quick. We’ll worry about the Tasha situation after that. First things first though, let’s raid the Storm Troopers body armor and see if he has anything useful in it. I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s not going to it anymore.” Tyrone says this as the four of them stare at the dead body of the not quite bright enough Storm Trooper who is lying dead in the drivers’ seat of the bus.
All of a sudden Uniqua looks at all of her friends and says, “You guys!” Tyrone, Pablo and Austin all look at each other with worried looks, as they know that Uniqua has figured something out. Uniqua looks over at the lifeless body of the Storm Trooper and says, “I hope you guys are ready to go for a ride, because this is going to hurt like hell”.
45 Minutes Earlier…
Storm Trooper #15 and the Backyardigans pull up along side B.A. Barrackus, who had been standing at the side of the road waiting for the mini-bus to pick him up.
“What took you so long fools? I’ve been waiting here for hours.” a very animated B.A said to the Storm Trooper who was in the driver’s seat. “Oh settle down B.A, you could have met us at the starting point, it was your choice to walk out to the desert. By the way, nice chain bro”. The Storm Trooper was referencing the giant gold necklace that was hanging down to B.A’s stomach. B.A. then closed the door and the bus finally took off.
The five Backyardigans were playing in the back of the bus, using their vivid imaginations to pretend they were somewhere else.
Instantly the five of them were sitting in an old time saloon during the old west. In the background they could hear the classic western music of an old Gary Cooper movie, the type of music that would play right before a big gun fight outside of the saloon. This was keeping the five adolescent animals very busy, which is exactly what B.A. had been counting on.
The Storm Trooper was like most of Lord Vader’s troopers, oblivious to the world and extremely stupid. He was talking to B.A about everything from Hydro-Spanders to who was the more brutal boss: Vader or Griffin. The Storm Trooper was really starting to love life, as this was the most relaxing thing he had been able to do this entire fantasy season. B.A. gave his fellow passenger a nod, as if he was paying attention to what he was saying. He hoped this would be enough to lull the already dimwitted Trooper into trusting him.
It seemed to be working as the Trooper took off his helmet and decided to light up a cigarette while he was driving. “Vader hates these thing’s, he’s always talking about how these thing’s are the only thing that will kill me faster than him. I swear to you, he’s like a walking PSA.” With the Trooper’s incensement talking acting as the perfect distraction, B.A. slowly took the gold chain necklace off from around his neck and placed it firmly in his hands. B.A. then took one final glance at the young animals in the back seat and in one quick motion, got up out of his seat and moved right behind the seat of the Storm Trooper.
The Trooper didn’t even have time to react as B.A. brought the chain around his neck and began to pull as hard as he could. The Trooper started to reach for his blaster but realized it was not in its holster. B.A. had taken it during his speech about why the series two tie-fighters were nothing more than a cheap excuse to get more out of the Galactic Trade Union. The mini-bus started to sway back and forth as the Trooper was being choked to death by the steely-eyed Barrackus.
The bus finally started to sway violently enough for the Backyardigans to notice, thus taking them away from their old west fantasy. Tyrone looked up at the dying Storm Trooper and said, “Hey, I thought we were supposed to wait for the Bus to tell us what to do?”
B.A. looked at the orange moose and said, “What kind of fool waits for a bus to tell him what to do. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. You’re in my bus now Moose, I hope you’re ready to eat some dirt.” B.A. then let go of the now lifeless Trooper and whipped his gold chain at the frightened group of animals. B.A then got down on his knees and tore a bunch of wires out from under the steering wheel of the bus. “Let’s see how clever you kids are without breaks in this thing.” After he said this, B.A. opened the passenger door and jumped out of the moving bus. He landed hard on the ground, cutting himself up pretty good, but doing no permanent damage. “I pity the fool who is still in that van.”
15 Minutes Later…
Pablo looked up at Uniqua with a look of fear and disbelief and said, “Do you really think this is going to work?”
“I have no idea Pablo, but it is pretty much the only thing that we’ve got, so just get in and hold on.” Uniqua said to Pablo as she held on for dear life, as they were seconds away from falling off the cliff that the mini-bus was barreling down towards. Just then, Tyrone looked at Uniqua and said, “We went through all of his armor and gear and I didn’t see his blaster anywhere, I wonder where it went?” As Tyrone said this, the mini-bus launched off of the cliff and crash-landed several hundred feet below. The bus landed with such force that the body of the Storm Trooper was crushed, spraying blood all over the crash site.
The sound of the crash got the attention of B.A. Barrackus, who had been savoring in his apparent victory with a cigar. He looked over the cliff to see the mini-bus lying there in all the destructive glory that he had hoped to see. As he took another victorious puff from his cigar, he noticed something from outside of the wreckage. He noticed that the arm of the Storm Trooper was lying outside of the bus, without the armor on it. He tried to think of how the Trooper’s armor could have come off during the crash when he heard something come from behind him. He turned around and looked to the ground behind him and saw the face of a smug hippopotamus staring right back at him.
B.A. looked at Tasha in amazement, wondering how she got off of the bus.
“Hey there little Hippo, how’d you get off that bus?”
“Well Mr. Barrackus, if you must know; when you reached underneath the steering wheel, I ran up front and hid underneath the passenger seat. When you opened the door, I just simply jumped out of the bus along with you. Though, right now that’s not the thing that I’d be worried about if I were you.”
“Is that right, then what should I be worried about you little yellow freak?
“Well, do you remember what my Trooper friend said to you back there about smoking being the only thing that could kill you quicker than Vader? Well, he forgot about one thing.”
“Oh yeah, and what’s that?”
“ME!!!” Just as Tasha says this, she pulled the Storm Troopers blaster out from behind her and shot B.A. Barrackus right through the left eye. The cigars fell out of the A-Team member’s mouth and onto the ground, his body quickly follows suit. Tasha stood her ground for another moment before dropping the blaster and walking over to the edge of the cliff. She looked down at her friends, wishing they had been as fortunate as her. Then from the passengers seat of the car she saw something move. From the height she was at, she was unable to tell what it was, so she ran over to a less steep part of the cliff and scaled her way down it. After ten minutes or so, she finally got over to the demolished vehicle and saw the Storm Trooper’s armor moving from inside.
Tasha got down to the ground and shimmied her way into the bus. She started pulling the suit as hard as she can until she heard a familiar voice say, “Well, this armor certainly was convenient.”
Tasha realizing it is Tyrone let out a great scream and started to pull the armor even harder. As it turns out, Uniqua’s great idea was for the remaining Backyardigan’s to get the Trooper out of his armor, so they could all get into it in hopes of being saved from the crash. After about a half hour of pulling, Tasha finally got enough of the armor out of the bus for Tyrone and Austin to climb out of the armor. With the combined strength of the three of them, they were able to pull their remaining friends out of the wreckage. Tasha looked at the lot of them in amazement, as she could not believe that they survived the crash.
“I just figured that you all were done for.”
“Well Tasha, instead of panicking and losing our minds, we decided to work together as a team and figure it out. I mean, I came up with the armor thing, but it still was a team effort”, a very energized Uniqua said to Tasha.
They all looked around at each other in amazement and Joy as they had just realized that Lord Vader would be very pleased at them for all surviving the trip.
“That was an excellent mini-bus adventure, don’t you think?” Tyrone said to everyone, “But there is still one thing I don’t understand, how did you beat Mr. Barrackus?
Tasha walked over to Tyrone and put her arm around the orange moose and said, “Well, do you remember the blaster that the Storm Trooper was carrying?”
“Yeah”, Tyrone replied.
“Well, lucky for me, Mr. Barrackus didn’t. Though, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be permanently burned in his head from now on.”
The five Backyardigan’s then broke into a dance and sang the day away in honor of their defiant victory over the much more adult Legion of Doom.
Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches are victorious!
Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches are The Backyardigans: Tasha, Pablo, Tyrone, Austin, & Uniqua, & Storm Trooper #15.
B.A Barrackus slowly gets off of the ground from which he had just been rolling around on. He is cut up and bloody, but still alive. “I pity the fool who is still in that van”. He says this as he is looking at the sixty-eight VW bus quickly heading for a cliff; completely out of control. He can’t help but laugh as he stands there thinking about how great he was for jumping out of the bus after tearing out the break line of the aging mini-bus.
“Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t lose you heads guys, we can think of something. Oh boy, Oh man, OH BOY! What are we going to do?” Pablo screamed as the bus came increasingly close to the cliff. Uniqua looked right at Pablo and said, “Pablo, Pablo, PABLO!!!!!” Pablo stopped panicking and calmly looked at Uniqua and said, “Yeah?”
“Instead of screaming our heads off, we should put them together and solve this problem.”
“Uniqua is right Pablo, with the five of us together, we can solve anything”, a very confident Austin said to his blue penguin friend.
“Speaking of five of us though, where is Tasha?” said a very confused Uniqua as she looked at her colorful friends. The four remaining Backyardigans looked at each other and wondered where their friend had gone off too.
Tyrone looked at his friends and said, “Remember what Lord Vader said to us this week: (Tyrone in his best Vader voice) “Either all of you come back alive this week or nobody does.” So we need to make sure Tasha is alright, because I really don’t feel like having to involve myself in a ritual suicide with the four of you this week.”
The three remaining Backyardigans looked at Tyrone with a puzzled looked on their faces. “What is a ritual suicide Tyrone?” asked a very unsteady Pablo.
“It’s what were going to have to do if we don’t find a way to stop this bus, now let’s get together and think of something quick. We’ll worry about the Tasha situation after that. First things first though, let’s raid the Storm Troopers body armor and see if he has anything useful in it. I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s not going to it anymore.” Tyrone says this as the four of them stare at the dead body of the not quite bright enough Storm Trooper who is lying dead in the drivers’ seat of the bus.
All of a sudden Uniqua looks at all of her friends and says, “You guys!” Tyrone, Pablo and Austin all look at each other with worried looks, as they know that Uniqua has figured something out. Uniqua looks over at the lifeless body of the Storm Trooper and says, “I hope you guys are ready to go for a ride, because this is going to hurt like hell”.
45 Minutes Earlier…
Storm Trooper #15 and the Backyardigans pull up along side B.A. Barrackus, who had been standing at the side of the road waiting for the mini-bus to pick him up.
“What took you so long fools? I’ve been waiting here for hours.” a very animated B.A said to the Storm Trooper who was in the driver’s seat. “Oh settle down B.A, you could have met us at the starting point, it was your choice to walk out to the desert. By the way, nice chain bro”. The Storm Trooper was referencing the giant gold necklace that was hanging down to B.A’s stomach. B.A. then closed the door and the bus finally took off.
The five Backyardigans were playing in the back of the bus, using their vivid imaginations to pretend they were somewhere else.
Instantly the five of them were sitting in an old time saloon during the old west. In the background they could hear the classic western music of an old Gary Cooper movie, the type of music that would play right before a big gun fight outside of the saloon. This was keeping the five adolescent animals very busy, which is exactly what B.A. had been counting on.
The Storm Trooper was like most of Lord Vader’s troopers, oblivious to the world and extremely stupid. He was talking to B.A about everything from Hydro-Spanders to who was the more brutal boss: Vader or Griffin. The Storm Trooper was really starting to love life, as this was the most relaxing thing he had been able to do this entire fantasy season. B.A. gave his fellow passenger a nod, as if he was paying attention to what he was saying. He hoped this would be enough to lull the already dimwitted Trooper into trusting him.
It seemed to be working as the Trooper took off his helmet and decided to light up a cigarette while he was driving. “Vader hates these thing’s, he’s always talking about how these thing’s are the only thing that will kill me faster than him. I swear to you, he’s like a walking PSA.” With the Trooper’s incensement talking acting as the perfect distraction, B.A. slowly took the gold chain necklace off from around his neck and placed it firmly in his hands. B.A. then took one final glance at the young animals in the back seat and in one quick motion, got up out of his seat and moved right behind the seat of the Storm Trooper.
The Trooper didn’t even have time to react as B.A. brought the chain around his neck and began to pull as hard as he could. The Trooper started to reach for his blaster but realized it was not in its holster. B.A. had taken it during his speech about why the series two tie-fighters were nothing more than a cheap excuse to get more out of the Galactic Trade Union. The mini-bus started to sway back and forth as the Trooper was being choked to death by the steely-eyed Barrackus.
The bus finally started to sway violently enough for the Backyardigans to notice, thus taking them away from their old west fantasy. Tyrone looked up at the dying Storm Trooper and said, “Hey, I thought we were supposed to wait for the Bus to tell us what to do?”
B.A. looked at the orange moose and said, “What kind of fool waits for a bus to tell him what to do. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. You’re in my bus now Moose, I hope you’re ready to eat some dirt.” B.A. then let go of the now lifeless Trooper and whipped his gold chain at the frightened group of animals. B.A then got down on his knees and tore a bunch of wires out from under the steering wheel of the bus. “Let’s see how clever you kids are without breaks in this thing.” After he said this, B.A. opened the passenger door and jumped out of the moving bus. He landed hard on the ground, cutting himself up pretty good, but doing no permanent damage. “I pity the fool who is still in that van.”
15 Minutes Later…
Pablo looked up at Uniqua with a look of fear and disbelief and said, “Do you really think this is going to work?”
“I have no idea Pablo, but it is pretty much the only thing that we’ve got, so just get in and hold on.” Uniqua said to Pablo as she held on for dear life, as they were seconds away from falling off the cliff that the mini-bus was barreling down towards. Just then, Tyrone looked at Uniqua and said, “We went through all of his armor and gear and I didn’t see his blaster anywhere, I wonder where it went?” As Tyrone said this, the mini-bus launched off of the cliff and crash-landed several hundred feet below. The bus landed with such force that the body of the Storm Trooper was crushed, spraying blood all over the crash site.
The sound of the crash got the attention of B.A. Barrackus, who had been savoring in his apparent victory with a cigar. He looked over the cliff to see the mini-bus lying there in all the destructive glory that he had hoped to see. As he took another victorious puff from his cigar, he noticed something from outside of the wreckage. He noticed that the arm of the Storm Trooper was lying outside of the bus, without the armor on it. He tried to think of how the Trooper’s armor could have come off during the crash when he heard something come from behind him. He turned around and looked to the ground behind him and saw the face of a smug hippopotamus staring right back at him.
B.A. looked at Tasha in amazement, wondering how she got off of the bus.
“Hey there little Hippo, how’d you get off that bus?”
“Well Mr. Barrackus, if you must know; when you reached underneath the steering wheel, I ran up front and hid underneath the passenger seat. When you opened the door, I just simply jumped out of the bus along with you. Though, right now that’s not the thing that I’d be worried about if I were you.”
“Is that right, then what should I be worried about you little yellow freak?
“Well, do you remember what my Trooper friend said to you back there about smoking being the only thing that could kill you quicker than Vader? Well, he forgot about one thing.”
“Oh yeah, and what’s that?”
“ME!!!” Just as Tasha says this, she pulled the Storm Troopers blaster out from behind her and shot B.A. Barrackus right through the left eye. The cigars fell out of the A-Team member’s mouth and onto the ground, his body quickly follows suit. Tasha stood her ground for another moment before dropping the blaster and walking over to the edge of the cliff. She looked down at her friends, wishing they had been as fortunate as her. Then from the passengers seat of the car she saw something move. From the height she was at, she was unable to tell what it was, so she ran over to a less steep part of the cliff and scaled her way down it. After ten minutes or so, she finally got over to the demolished vehicle and saw the Storm Trooper’s armor moving from inside.
Tasha got down to the ground and shimmied her way into the bus. She started pulling the suit as hard as she can until she heard a familiar voice say, “Well, this armor certainly was convenient.”
Tasha realizing it is Tyrone let out a great scream and started to pull the armor even harder. As it turns out, Uniqua’s great idea was for the remaining Backyardigan’s to get the Trooper out of his armor, so they could all get into it in hopes of being saved from the crash. After about a half hour of pulling, Tasha finally got enough of the armor out of the bus for Tyrone and Austin to climb out of the armor. With the combined strength of the three of them, they were able to pull their remaining friends out of the wreckage. Tasha looked at the lot of them in amazement, as she could not believe that they survived the crash.
“I just figured that you all were done for.”
“Well Tasha, instead of panicking and losing our minds, we decided to work together as a team and figure it out. I mean, I came up with the armor thing, but it still was a team effort”, a very energized Uniqua said to Tasha.
They all looked around at each other in amazement and Joy as they had just realized that Lord Vader would be very pleased at them for all surviving the trip.
“That was an excellent mini-bus adventure, don’t you think?” Tyrone said to everyone, “But there is still one thing I don’t understand, how did you beat Mr. Barrackus?
Tasha walked over to Tyrone and put her arm around the orange moose and said, “Well, do you remember the blaster that the Storm Trooper was carrying?”
“Yeah”, Tyrone replied.
“Well, lucky for me, Mr. Barrackus didn’t. Though, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be permanently burned in his head from now on.”
The five Backyardigan’s then broke into a dance and sang the day away in honor of their defiant victory over the much more adult Legion of Doom.
Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches are victorious!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Consolation Match-Round 2: The Syracuse Valley -vs- Team Fred
Syracuse Valley is Tails & Hammer Bros. #1
Team Fred is Compy #29 & 30, & Boober
Boober was not very happy with the fact that he would be spending his entire car ride with two dinosaurs, a fox and a hammer brother. Boober is also not too hot on the idea of riding in a strange vehicle for any long periods of time, as he is very susceptible to becoming carsick. The later is the reason why Boober is in the drivers seat and not in the back, where it is quite bouncy. The rest of the teams are in the backseat, basically doing whatever they can to ignore the always grumpy and depressed Boober.
The two compy’s are in the back trying the bite the feet of Miles Prower and the hammer brother. This is of course annoying the hell out of the Syracuse Valley, who just like team Fred have no real idea of what they are supposed to be doing in this van. All they were told, as all the teams were, was that once you were inside the vehicle, the van itself would let you know what to do. So far, there was no sign of a mission for them to accomplish, only the increasingly grumpy Boober to ignore.
After a while even the very persistent compy’s decided to stop biting and just sat there waiting for their instructions. After about a half hour of driving down the road Tails decided to try to lighten the mood in the van by starting up a conversation with Boober about how well the Dozer’s had been fairing so far in the league. This was naturally a bad move on Tails part as it only started Boober on a rant about how the Dozer’s were nothing but lazy and useless and should be expelled from the league. This instantly put the hammer brother over the edge as he started to pelt the disgruntled Fraggle with hammers. As the hammers started hitting the windows in the van, glass began to start flying everywhere, cutting Boober in the face and arm.
This angered the once calm compy’s into a rage that sent them lashing out towards the Syracuse Valley. The compy’s ran over to the hammer brother and each started to bite the feet of the especially odorous hammer brother. This instantly made the hammer brother start smashing one of the compy’s in the head, knocking it unconscious. The other compy however managed to run over to the usually fast fox and grab hold of his left tail. Miles let out a very loud yell as the compy bit down as hard as possible on the tail. Tails, who because of the confined space of the van was not able to move very fast, wagged his tail furiously up and down before the compy lost his grip and went flying out of one of the broken windows. This left just one compy left, which was quickly disposed of as the hammer brother picked up one of his weapons and in one violent motion crushed the skull of the small, yet vicious dinosaur.
Both Tails and the Hammer Brother were shocked at how much damage the dinosaurs were able to create in such a small space. Now with plenty of space in the back for the two of them, Tails and the hammer brother took a seat and a breather for a moment. The two of them seemed increasingly tired from this ordeal. So tired in fact that they both looked at each other as if a nap was in order. They naturally would not take a nap but did joke about it with each other due to the fact that anything would be better than listening to Boober whine about his seemingly good life. They even talked about how getting bite was actually a nice distraction from the depressing Fraggle.
Just then, the glove box from up front sprung right open, revealing a white piece of paper. Tails turned his head and tried to get up, but he found it almost impossible for him to do. Now worried that something may actually be wrong, he looked over at the hammer brother and realized his eyes were closed. Now almost scared to make a move, Tails asked the Fraggle what was on the piece of paper. Boober reached over from his drivers seat and picked up the now blood stained paper and read it aloud.
“Your mission that we are forcing you to except is this: The last person to be able to stand Boober’s grumpiness and live to tell the tale is the victor. We hope you enjoy your stay in the van, though, we doubt you will.” –FFL
Boober then looked at the letter with great offense and chucked it out the window. He then looked in the rear view mirror and noticed that the hammer brother and Tails were both lying down in the back seat motionless. Tails then looked over at his fellow comrade and realized that he is not just sleeping, but that he was lying dead on the seat next to him. Tails then lifted his head up one more time and said to the Fraggle, “Well, I guess that makes me the winner.”
Boober then turned his head and looked at the sickly fox and said, “The last one to be able to stand me, yes; the victor on the other hand, well, that goes to me.”
“You, what are you talking about?”
“Well, the note said the last person to live to tell the tale and the last time I checked, those compy’s pack a mean punch, especially when you take a bite like you did.”
Tail’s now realizing why his teammate and him felt the way they did looked over at the grumpy Fraggle and wished he had not been so nice to him.
“All I had to do was not talk to you and I would have won.”
“I suppose that’s true fox, but you did and now you’re dead.”
As Boober was finishing his final remark, Tails finally fell out of consciousness and handed Boober the first positive thing that happened to him all day; A car ride all to himself.
Team Fred is Victorious!
Team Fred is Compy #29 & 30, & Boober
Boober was not very happy with the fact that he would be spending his entire car ride with two dinosaurs, a fox and a hammer brother. Boober is also not too hot on the idea of riding in a strange vehicle for any long periods of time, as he is very susceptible to becoming carsick. The later is the reason why Boober is in the drivers seat and not in the back, where it is quite bouncy. The rest of the teams are in the backseat, basically doing whatever they can to ignore the always grumpy and depressed Boober.
The two compy’s are in the back trying the bite the feet of Miles Prower and the hammer brother. This is of course annoying the hell out of the Syracuse Valley, who just like team Fred have no real idea of what they are supposed to be doing in this van. All they were told, as all the teams were, was that once you were inside the vehicle, the van itself would let you know what to do. So far, there was no sign of a mission for them to accomplish, only the increasingly grumpy Boober to ignore.
After a while even the very persistent compy’s decided to stop biting and just sat there waiting for their instructions. After about a half hour of driving down the road Tails decided to try to lighten the mood in the van by starting up a conversation with Boober about how well the Dozer’s had been fairing so far in the league. This was naturally a bad move on Tails part as it only started Boober on a rant about how the Dozer’s were nothing but lazy and useless and should be expelled from the league. This instantly put the hammer brother over the edge as he started to pelt the disgruntled Fraggle with hammers. As the hammers started hitting the windows in the van, glass began to start flying everywhere, cutting Boober in the face and arm.
This angered the once calm compy’s into a rage that sent them lashing out towards the Syracuse Valley. The compy’s ran over to the hammer brother and each started to bite the feet of the especially odorous hammer brother. This instantly made the hammer brother start smashing one of the compy’s in the head, knocking it unconscious. The other compy however managed to run over to the usually fast fox and grab hold of his left tail. Miles let out a very loud yell as the compy bit down as hard as possible on the tail. Tails, who because of the confined space of the van was not able to move very fast, wagged his tail furiously up and down before the compy lost his grip and went flying out of one of the broken windows. This left just one compy left, which was quickly disposed of as the hammer brother picked up one of his weapons and in one violent motion crushed the skull of the small, yet vicious dinosaur.
Both Tails and the Hammer Brother were shocked at how much damage the dinosaurs were able to create in such a small space. Now with plenty of space in the back for the two of them, Tails and the hammer brother took a seat and a breather for a moment. The two of them seemed increasingly tired from this ordeal. So tired in fact that they both looked at each other as if a nap was in order. They naturally would not take a nap but did joke about it with each other due to the fact that anything would be better than listening to Boober whine about his seemingly good life. They even talked about how getting bite was actually a nice distraction from the depressing Fraggle.
Just then, the glove box from up front sprung right open, revealing a white piece of paper. Tails turned his head and tried to get up, but he found it almost impossible for him to do. Now worried that something may actually be wrong, he looked over at the hammer brother and realized his eyes were closed. Now almost scared to make a move, Tails asked the Fraggle what was on the piece of paper. Boober reached over from his drivers seat and picked up the now blood stained paper and read it aloud.
“Your mission that we are forcing you to except is this: The last person to be able to stand Boober’s grumpiness and live to tell the tale is the victor. We hope you enjoy your stay in the van, though, we doubt you will.” –FFL
Boober then looked at the letter with great offense and chucked it out the window. He then looked in the rear view mirror and noticed that the hammer brother and Tails were both lying down in the back seat motionless. Tails then looked over at his fellow comrade and realized that he is not just sleeping, but that he was lying dead on the seat next to him. Tails then lifted his head up one more time and said to the Fraggle, “Well, I guess that makes me the winner.”
Boober then turned his head and looked at the sickly fox and said, “The last one to be able to stand me, yes; the victor on the other hand, well, that goes to me.”
“You, what are you talking about?”
“Well, the note said the last person to live to tell the tale and the last time I checked, those compy’s pack a mean punch, especially when you take a bite like you did.”
Tail’s now realizing why his teammate and him felt the way they did looked over at the grumpy Fraggle and wished he had not been so nice to him.
“All I had to do was not talk to you and I would have won.”
“I suppose that’s true fox, but you did and now you’re dead.”
As Boober was finishing his final remark, Tails finally fell out of consciousness and handed Boober the first positive thing that happened to him all day; A car ride all to himself.
Team Fred is Victorious!
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