Week 2 - TEAM vs. Super Orange Kitty Sisters

TEAM: Superman, Superboy, Optimus Prime, Roller, Grey Jedi Master Josh Houslander, Laya Houslander: Jedi Knight, Alex Houslander: Young Jedi Knight, Scarlet Houslander: Jedi Padawan, Grayson Houslander: Jedi Youngling, President John Adams, Donald Trump, Cybertronian Guardian #1-8, Autobot #1-4, Junkeon #1-5

Super Orange Kitty Sisters: Supergirl, Power Girl, Polaris, Scarlet Witch, Spider-Man, Baby Ewok #1

It’s a casual day in the White House for Donald Trump, taking care of his wig, John Adams at his side. Their meeting with TEAM is about to commence as the final members arrive. All of sudden, Cybertronian Guardians #1-8, Autobot #1-4, and Junkeon #1-5 get completely torn apart by Polaris and Kitty Sisters’ surprise attack. Quickly, TEAM reacts as you hear the hum of the Houslander’s lightsabers turn on. Adams and Trump fall back into the PEOC, lined entirely of lead so none of the kryptonians can see where they go, to make a plan of attack as the kryptonians erupt into fighting outside, having no care for lawn maintenance.

Grey Jedi Master Josh Houslander skillfully uses acrobatics to slice Baby Ewok #1 like a kebab, for he has mastered the arts of form IV. Scarlet Witch uses her reality altering powers to force Scarlet and Grayson Houslander to fall on their own sabers. As she moves onto work on Laya and Alex Houslander, Scarlet Witch is unable to notice Josh Houslander sneak behind her and slam his lightsaber through her heart, then ripping it out for her lifeless body to fall to the floor. Then Spider-Man swoops in kicking Josh straight in the head causing a hemorrhage, leading to a stroke and death. Spider-Man without hesitation webs up Laya and Alex leaving them unable to protect against Polaris shoving parts of Autobot #3 through them for instant death.

Meanwhile, the kryptonians are battling fiercely blow for blow. Eventually due to Superboy’s lack of time under the rays of a yellow sun compared to both Supergirl and Power Girl’s, they set up a punch too powerful for him to resist. Power Girl throws Superboy into the air and Supergirl hits him with such a powerful punch to the face that his neck snaps. Superman enraged that his apprentice is now dead, blasts a heat vision ray so powerful through his cousin Supergirl’s head, it explodes her brain.

Now we move back over to Polaris and Spider-Man dealing with Optimus Prime and Roller. Polaris makes the mistake to deal with Roller first. Even though it does not take long to tear the chatty transformer apart, it’s long enough for Optimus Prime to make a quick swipe with his Sword of Judgement slicing Spider-Man in two. He lies on the ground in his final moment making one last cry, “Mr. Stark…….” Polaris, seeing so much death, pulls apart the great leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime, with much sadness. As she watches a final battle between Superman and Power Girl, Polaris decides to fall into the shadows for she will one day avenge her sister, Scarlet Witch, by finishing off the rest of TEAM. That day will not be today.

Back to kryptonians where Superman and Power Girl are endlessly fighting. Forgot about the presidents? Well John Adams and Donald Trump devised quite the plan while hiding away, but it comes at a cost. They have stored away a kryptonite bomb which can easily take out Power Girl but at the same time Superman. Trump worried of his own survival, decides unhesitantly to throw the bomb at the two kryptonians fighting. It explodes shooting kryptonite in all directions taking out Power Girl and beloved Superman.

Consortium Week 2 - Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People

BGMFT is:  Dr. Fate, Doomsday, Black Atom w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring, Green Lantern #1-2, Plo Koon, Dr. Conner Weidman:  Paleontologist w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring, Spinisaurus #1-2, & T-Rex #1.

GNGMLP is White Lantern Batman, Larfleeze (Agent Orange), James Madison, James Monroe, Emperor Palpatine, Royal Guard #1-2, Luminara Unduli w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Barriss Offee w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, Black Dragon #1-3, Ewok #5, & Smurf #6.

Week 2 Democracy Match

The Striders of Rohan Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

The Striders of Rohan are Cyborg Superman, Apocalypse, Captain Marvel, Jedi Master #1-8, Circuit Breaker, Red Lantern #1-2, Wolverine w/ a Red Lantern Ring, and Fremen #1-6.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Darth Vader, Darth Bane, Darth Nihilis, The 501 Elite Storm Trooper Division (Vader's Fist) #1-10, Storm Trooper #1-10, Sasuke Uchiha, and Navy SEAL #1-2.

Week 1 Standings

AMERICAN LEAGUE
-TEAM 1-0
-The Striders of Rohan 1-0
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins 0-1
-Be Gentle It's My First Time 0-1
-Better Than All of You 0-1
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight 0-1

NATIONAL LEAGUE
-Chaz Barkley's Turrible Decisions 1-0
-John and Vader's House of Sith Aids 1-0
-The Super Orange Kitty Sisters 1-0
-Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People 1-0
-George Washington's House Elves 0-1
-The Empire 0-1

Season X, Week 1: Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

The Dinomites are: Quintessa, and Rebel Soldiers #1-15

The Super Kitties are: Polaris, Arsenal & Mr. Spock in a Snow Speeder, and Phibian #17-20


Hoth was one thing, but the North Pole might have been too cold for these Rebel Soldiers. Lifting their guns to fire was a workout and the short sprint across the open landscape was a marathon. While they managed to take out all 4 Phibians in the first wave of attack, Spock was able to paint the snow red after only a few passes with the Snow Speeder. As they sped away to join Polaris and Quintessa’s fight, Arsenal glances down from the gunner seat to see the lifeless bodies of all fifteen Rebel soldiers.

Polaris has so far been able to keep Quintessa at bay by using her powers of magnetic manipulation to restrain her many appendages. The Prime of Life begins to harness the energon from the Earth and using her staff, shoots bolts of energy toward the Marvel heroine. This breaks her concentration and forces her to retreat by flight. Mr Spock and Arsenal arrive and Spock lights her up with a rope of bullets from both cannons. This enrages Quintessa and she takes a swipe as the ship narrowly escapes her first volley. Naturally, Arsenal fires the tow rope as they pass and Spock makes several swooping passes restraining several of her arms. He is able to complete four passes before Quintessa is able to time her attack and strike the Snow Speeder to the ground. They both eject and while Arsenal is able to roll himself to safety using his natural agility, the Vulcan science officer has no one to beam him up and gets crushed beneath the ship.

Quintessa has been brought to the ground and is almost free from the restraint when Polaris is able to return to help Arsenal who has taken to running circles around her landing repeated blows. Polaris lifts the recently downed Snow speeder and hurls it toward Quintessa just as she returns the favor with a bolt of energy directly to the chest of Polaris. Both ladies lay lifeless on the ground and Arsenal dashes over to check on his teammate. Polaris fought valiantly against a much tougher enemy today.

The sound of crushed metal shifts behind him and Arsenal turns his attention to Quintessa. One eye still glows blue and stares at him as she attempts to drag herself from the wreckage. Arsenal glances at his feet and sees the staff of the Cybertronian goddess. He casually flips the staff up to his hand using his foot and nocks the staff in his bow like an arrow. She raises her hand to command the staff but it is already loosed. The staff strikes true and buries itself in the her skull extinguishing her spark for good.

Week 1: Vertically Challenged Humans vs. Better Than All of You

The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Vertically Challenged Humans are: White Lantern Batman, The Huntress w/ a purple lightsaber, and Alf w/ R2-A1 in a Z-95 Headhunter Better Than All of You are: Cobra Commander and three White Walkers. On the South Side of the North Pole, Cobra Commander waited inside an ice fort mounted with a huge ice catapult. Outside, three White Walkers patrolled the frozen terrain for signs of the enemy. “Sssoon, my White Walkers shall use their ice ssspells to harvessst every last drop of Christmas ssspirit from thisss place! A gloriousss new North Pole will be claimed for Better Than All of You, under the rule of me, Cobra Commander!” Starting from far away, a muffled roar was heard growing, churning the crisp silence of the snowy land. A Z-95 Headhunter, piloted by Alf, tore through the distant sky as it barrelled toward the fortress. “Shumway to Boss Bat: We have contact! Looks like a bunch of mummy eskimos and an igloo, who are these guys again? Over.” Batman crackled on to Alf’s radio system. “Sounds like White Walkers. Don’t underestimate them, they only look like zombies. Arriving at your location shortly. Over.” As Alf finished a swift pass high above Cobra’s fort, Cobra Commander emerged beside the tremendous catapult. “Walkerssss! Charge the icccce ball!” The White Walkers surrounded the fort and began channeling frost magic to the siege weapon, a dense cannonball of ice forming in its cup. “We must ssstop that sssstarfigh-” as he drew out his sentence, Alf fired a shot straight to his head, blowing it clean off. “Man oh man, I couldn’t take another SECOND of that annoying lisp! See a dentist, pal.” As Batman and Huntress arrived, the catapult launched its payload into Alf’s Headhunter and sent it crashing to the ground, steam rising from the red hot metal in the snow. The Walkers turned to face Batman and Huntress, and in that moment began to raise an army of the poor disposable Elves Santa buries in paupers graves in scores each week. The Walkers let out a battle cry and their army charged forward. “Huntress, you focus on distracting the undead. I’ll handle the leaders.” The Elves were coming by the hundreds, as Batman cut his way through the horde toward the White Walkers. They, too, were coming up to meet him where he approached. Huntress was fighting off dozens of Elves at a time, seemingly replenishing themselves as fast as she could cut them down. She held her own, until a set of gnashing teeth and razor sharp claws began to tear into the back of her knees. She fell to the ground, her final sight being the mangled snout of the recently deceased Alf dangling in her dimming vision. Batman reached the Walkers, all the undead Elves closing in on them. They struck out at him, weapons clashing against his white armor, frost forming on him as they touched. “Sorry guys, but it’ll take more than a little death to stop a White Lantern. And even more to stop Batman.” He grabbed two of the White Walkers with one hand each, flooding them with white light until it radiated from their eyes, and smashed them into the head of the third Walker.

Week 2

Week 2
220 Points at The White House
Prizes: Frog Suit, An Aircraft Carrier, and a Blue Lantern Ring
Match-ups:

-TEAM Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters (Zack)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Empire (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Democracy)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Chris)
-Be Gentle, It's My First Time Vs. The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People (Consortium)
-Better Than All of You Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Josh).

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Vision, Jason Bourne w/ an Indigo Lantern Ring, Indigo Lantern #1-2, Orc #1-11, and Red Lantern Jeff Houslander

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Darth Vader, Cad Bane, 501 Vader's Fist #1-5, Storm Trooper #1-5, and Snow Trooper #1-5.


Gather round for what is sure to be a glorious battle upon the frozen tundra of The North Pole. Be honored that this battle is being watched by The Illustrious and Noble Joshatu the Eminent. The two small armies waste no time leaping into action. Vader, an exceptional military commander positions his men like Chess pieces. His regular Storm Troopers are placed in front, and just like Chess, the pawns are sacrificed first. The eleven orcs rush towards the Sith Aid Soldiers in a mad fury. They manage to mow through the ranks of the Storm Troopers; but are then easily cut apart by the laser-bolts of the more concealed Snow Troopers and 501 Troops.

The two Indigo Lanterns fly over the laser fire to go after Lord Vader himself, but Vader lifts up his left hand and stops the two lanterns in place. As they are held there in mid-air, the two lanterns become easy targets for Cad Bane who picks them out of the air with his two blasters.

Jeff Houslander is very rarely not the guy in the fight with the highest anger quotient, but he happens to be in a battle with the Dark Lord of the Sith and the man formerly known as Anakin Skywalker. Jeff emits a massive amount of red anger plasma from his mouth, hands, and ring; but this only reminds Vader of the fires of Mustafar and fuels his own hatred and anger. Vader uses the Force to send the plasma back at Jeff to take him out of the battle.

Cad Bane takes aim at Jason Bourne, but the assassin easily evades the blasts and kicks the two guns out of the hands of the bounty hunter. Now a melee fight, Bane is no match for the trained killer, who is also aided by an Indigo power Aura. Bourne gets behind Cad puts him in a choke hold, knocking his alien cowboy hat from his head and then finishes the job by snapping his neck. Bourne picks up the blasters of Bane and begins to light up the Snow Troopers. Bourne masterfully takes out all five with his new found weapons when Vader leaps in the way and begins deflecting the lasers with his lightsaber. Vader sends a blast back into the shoulder of Bourne and then moves towards him with amazing Force speed to slice off the head of Jason Bourne.

Vader turns to see Vision ripping apart all five members of his elite 501st Division. The former Jedi who appears to be more machine than man moves against the former computer program who strives to be more man than machine. Vision easily phases through the attacks of Vader; but is unable to break through The Sith Lord's defenses without making himself susceptible to the lightsaber of Vader. The attacks stop for a moment as they simply stand in a silenced stillness about ten feet away from each other. Vision's android mind becomes confused as Vader turns off his lightsaber and simply sticks his unarmed hand into the air. Vision remains unsure of Vader's motive; but is confident in his own safety as he remains completely phased in a non-solid form. Vader concentrates and focuses with The Force as he transcends the physical plain and rips the stone from the forehead of Vision despite him not being in a physical state. Vision's lower lip drops to his chin while he watches the Infinity stone drop to the ground. Now in a solid state, Vision is an easy target as Vader reignites his crimson saber and runs the Avenger through.

The Striders of Rohan Vs. The Empire

The Striders of Rohan are Blue Lantern #1-2, John Stewart, Fro-Zone, Xenomorph #2-11, and Admiral William Kelley in an AT-AT.

The Empire is Emma Frost, Krampus, Teddy Boy, and Vampire #1.


Alright Dorks, Pogo here. Sure am glad this is a small week, because it is friggin freezing out here. Not sure whose idea it was to have a match outside Santa's Workshop; but as far as I am concerned, the elves can keep this craphole. I probably shouldn't be saying this though.... Santa might hear me, and I don't wanna miss out on any Christmas schwag. Anyway, let's write this turd. The Empire is some scary lookin peeps this week, but The Striders brought some serious firepower.

We basically have a vampire, a creepy teddy bear, and Bad Santa: NO, not Billy Bob Thorton, I'm talking about a half goat/half demon lookin dude. Then, to top it all off we have the scariest, most dangerous creature around leading the team. Yup, you guessed it. It's a hot chick with a killer rack. Needless to say, I'm keeping my distance. But the Striders on the other hand, are much braver than I am, cuz here they come over the ice covered horizon. Let's find out what is going on inside that AT-AT.

Bill Kelley speaks into the communication device to his team: “Damn. I guess when I told them I could drive or fly anything they took me quite literally. I didn't think they would put me in a machine with no wheels or wings that is supposed to take two drivers; but don't worry guys. I got this”.

“Hope so Bill, we're ready out here for the full frontal attack”. Replies John Stewart.

Fro-Zone adds: “Speaking of full frontal, did you guys get a look at that chick in the white on the other team”?? …

John Stewart takes the lead, as he flies in fast towards the action. He is flanked by the two Blue Lanterns, who power his ring to 200%, simply by being within close proximity. Right before their attack begins, Stewart turns his head to give a final order to the Blue Lanterns, but he is shocked to see the 2 blue lanterns attacking their own teammates the Xenomorphs. This isn't the Green Lantern's first time up against a telepath, so he figures out quick that that is what is going down. He creates powerful emerald-helmet encasement for his own brain; but it is too late for his teammates. The Aliens attempt to defend themselves by surrounding the two blue lanterns, which causes them to join each other in death as the concentrated acid blood sprays all over the two blue lanterns as they join the Xenomorphs in death.

John Stewart's ring powers back down to 80% with the death of the blue lanterns and the heavy power diversion from the telepathic prevention; but John still easily dodges the tiny bullets shot at him from the gun of Teddy Boy. Teddy Boy, then gets crushed by a giant green energy fist from the ring of Stewart.

Fro-Zone is sliding around effortlessly on the ice when Vampire #1 leaps out at him. The Vamp is frozen solid by a heavy blast from Fro-Zone. The Vampire is shattered a few moments later when it is stepped on by the huge metal foot of the AT-AT.

The White Queen herself, Emma Frost focuses her full power on John Stewart, knowing that it is going to take everything she has got to break through his defenses. They stand within a couple of feet of each other both doubled over in pain as the mental anguish turns into physical pain. Fro-Zone slides into action and hits Frost with some frost in an attempt to free his friend Stewart from the mental attack. It works, but while Emma Frost begins to turn her attention towards Fro-Zone, Stewart's relief is short-lived. Just as the green lantern is beginning to recover, Krampus leaps out and stuffs Stewart into his creepy bag where he is sent directly to Hell and bloodily ripped apart by a legion of demons. Frost and Krampus regroup while Fro-Zone stands alone realizing that he is outmatched. Fro-Zone stands bravely preparing for the fight of his life, when two huge laser-bolts from the Imperial metal monster known as an AT-AT turn the area occupied by Frost and Krampus into a crater. Fro-Zone hears the familiar voice of Admiral Kelley pipe into his ear piece:

“What?? Did you forget I was here”.........