Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s Beeyatches are General Zod, White
Lantern Kyle Rayner, Darth Vader, Lord Helspont, Sentinel Prime, Red Lantern
Hal Jordan, Oblivion, Thane, Sandworm #7, Kung Lao, Kree Soldier’s #8-17.
The Royal Highness is Apocalypse, Paul Atreides, Atreides
Soldier #15-19, Sandworm #1A & #3B, The Scorpion King, Rick O’Connell, Evie
O’Connell, Jeannie & Major Nelson in a Orinthopter, Mumm-Ra, Mutt, Golden
Age Blue Beetle, Ursa, Sydney Bristow, Sandstorm, Roger Rabbit in a Podracer,
Jedi Guardian #3, Jedi Padawan #37 & Little Goomba’s #26-33.
The screams of Roger Rabbit are heard as a Podracer crashes
into a nearby mountain surrounded by a never-ending sea of sand.
Evie O’Connell: I told you the rabbit was a bad call for the
Podracer.
Rick O’Connell: Oh of course you and Sydney are always
right. All I said was don’t count the little guy out.
Evie: But you do admit now honey that he was in fact a
foolish choice for that machine.
Rick: I think Roger just needed more time with the machine,
he usually catches on pretty quick when it comes to just about anything.
Evie: (With a blustered look on her face) Well of course you
can’t admit you are wrong. You are a man after all.
Rick: Look; all I am saying is that with a little practice I
think the little guy would be just fine with that racer.
Sydney Bristow: If you two could stop arguing for a moment,
maybe you could give the rest of us a hand with what is going on.
Evie: Of course Sydney, whatever you need.
Rick: Oh you do what she asks you to do, of course.
Sydney: All I’m saying is that while you two are fighting
about some silly little rabbit in a ship that is impossible to drive, our team
is engulfed a brutal fight.
Evie: Can you for one moment think of something other then
yourself Rick? Honestly, all Sydney is asking of us is to do is our job.
Rick: Honey, is the job you are talking about the job that
makes the both of us do exactly what Sydney asks us to do? Cause if that is the
job, I don’t seem to remember getting hired for that particular position.
Sydney: Oh wow Evie, you were not kidding when you called
him the embodiment of the Male Ego.
Rick: Oh so now you are telling Syd about our relationship?
I guess I am just too much of a man for you. I didn’t realize you liked to play
for both sides honey? Are you planning on bringing Sydney into our relationship
too? (Pauses) Cause actually, I am not completely opposed to this idea.
Evie: My word Rick, in all of my life I have never met…
Rick: A more beautiful specimen, I know, blah blah blah, I’m
gorgeous. But enough about me, when exactly are you free Sydney to come over
next, cause I think we are both free right now.
Sydney: Well I mean, if you are okay with this Evie…
Evie: No. No, no, no, no, no. The both of you. NO.
Jedi Guardian #3: Hey, if you three are not too busy doing
whatever it is you are doing, we are getting our butts kicked over here. It is
hard to say who is still alive, but we are getting massacred out here. Oblivion
stole Hal’s Red Lantern ring and, well, it has not been going good since then.
Rick: Oh he stole another guy’s ring, how about having your
wife steal your manhood every time you take a breath. Maybe your brother was
right honey.
Evie: What is that supposed to mean?
Rick: Oh you know what I am talking about. It seems that
whenever there isn’t a Mummy around for me to protect you from, you don’t seem
to appreciate anything that I have to do for you.
Evie: Please explain to me what exactly it is that you do
for me Rick.
Sydney: Maybe I should get out of here.
Rick: Oh no Sydney, you are part of this now too, just like
my loving wife wants it.
Evie: I do not want to bring Sydney into this.
Rick: (Laughing to himself) Oh sure honey, now she is just
an innocent bystander. Who else have you been talking to about our marriage?
(Looks at the Jedi Guardian) You, come here. I am sure you are more then well
versed in our relationship at this point.
Jedi Guardian #3: Look, trust me when I say I have never met
any of you before in my life. I just want to try and survive this match any way
possible.
Rick: Forget this match man; if you want to survive at all
please stay as far away from my loving wife as you can.
Evie: You are such an ass Rick. I cannot believe I ever
thought you would change. You are still the same piggish man who kissed me just
because he thought it was a good idea at the time.
Rick: I was being hanged for Christ sake. I am so sorry that
my last wish on this planet was to kiss the most beautiful creature I had ever
laid my eyes on.
Evie: (Blushing) Most beautiful creature on the planet. Do
you really mean that?
Rick: Of course I do honey. I mean, if I had known what else
what attached to that beauty I might have serious reservations about that kiss
but…
Evie: A pig till the end of course.
Jedi: So are we going to go fight or what?
Rick: Hell yes we are going to fight, but not before I spend
some quality time with my wife.
Evie: Oh Rick.
Sydney: I am guessing I am not part of this anymore?
Rick: Well I mean, I suppose it is up to Evie.
Evie: Oh shut up Rick and kiss me.
Rick and Evie kiss passionately.
Then all four of them are torn apart completely by the Red
plasma from Oblivion’s Red Lantern Ring.
In fact, almost everything has been torn apart at this
point. The sand is actually missing from the desert. There is nothing left but
an ugly brown cracked ground. Well that and a lot of dead bodies.
Sandworms. All Dead.
Zod and Ursa. Dead.
Well okay, let’s do it this way.
Apocalypse and Paul Atreides are still alive.
Kyle Rayner, Red Lantern Oblivion & Darth Vader are
still alive.
This must be brought to attention; Kyle Rayner does not like
Oblivion. Like, he really does not like Oblivion. He dislikes him so much that
he has been fighting against him since he stole the ring from Hal Jordan. Not
that it has mattered much. Oblivion came up with the idea of taking Hal’s ring
after watching Hal fry Jeannie & Major Nelson. He saw the fear in their
eyes and could not help himself. He needed that power for himself, so he took
it.
In regards to power in this match, Thane has proven himself
to be very capable of ending many lives at once, including his own. Every
single one of the Sandworm’s, all five Atreides soldiers, Sentinel Prime, Kung
Lao, you get the idea. He was all supercharged with his left hand and the next
thing you knew, a lot of people were dead. Well dead enough.
Which leaves us with only a few, though those few are
nothing to scoff at.
Well at least I didn’t think so but I suppose with great
power comes a greater ability to destroy creatures that should be putting up a
better fight.
Paul Atreides may have the sight on Arrakis, but this sure
isn’t Arrakis and despite his powers, he sure wasn’t able to stop Oblivion from
ripping him apart. Ripping apart people seems to be Oblivion’s favorite past
time as he set’s his sight’s on Apocalypse next. Normally I would expect
Apocalypse to put up a fight, especially considering he is the only remaining
member of his team left, but not this time. He just stared the Red Lantern
obsessed lunatic right in the eyes and stayed calm as he was slowly torn away
to nothing.
Darth Vader: That was far too easy.
Oblivion: (Laughing) You may consider what I have done to be
easy. I just consider it…Fun.
In an instant, Oblivion himself is blown to red dust as his
red lantern ring drops to the ground. The newly reformed Apocalypse laughs
himself and sets his sights on the White Lantern carrying Kyle Rayner.
Darth Vader: I told you it was too easy.
Apocalypse warps reality in the desert to make it appear as if
Kyle Rayner is nothing but a struggling artist, without a power to speak of.
Luckily for Kyle, his fellow teammate is also well versed in the power of
persuasion as Vader ignites his light saber, gently levitates it in front of
himself and with all of the power of the dark side, sends the laser sword into
the back of the head of En Sabah Nur, sending him once again to the grave yard.
Kyle Rayner: Thanks Darth, never saw that coming.
Darth Vader: Thanks for underestimating me Kyle, I am the
dark lord of the Sith after all.
Kyle Rayner: Well yeah, I know that. Still though, I went
from being an all-powerful White Lantern to thinking I was completely
powerless, with no hope of survival.
Darth Vader: That is because you are weak Rayner. You must
figure out a way to not be such a crybaby.
Kyle Rayner: Thanks, I guess.
Darth Vader: Do not mention it Kyle, I am sure it will not
be the last time I have to save your life in this league.
Kyle Rayner: Hey, I do have a full spectrum ring you know.
Darth Vader: That you do Kyle and in the end, a half
machine, half man with only one actual appendage had to save you. So, good
for you and your ring, I hope it helps you more with your next drawing then it
does with our next match. Pussy.
Kyle Rayner: Dick.
Just then, Apocalypse reforms and…I’m just kidding. The
match is over.
Posts
