George Washington's Slaves Vs. Layanderletson's Super Orange Kitties ans Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

George Washington’s Slaves are Scout Trooper #1-10, Solomon Grundy (w/ a red lantern ring), Green Arrow (Connor Hawk) w/ Speedy (Mia Deardon), Superman, Ki Adi Mundi (w/ original lightsaber), Jabba the Hutt, Yendar Platis, Sayid Jarrah (w/ blue lightsaber), Wild Man #1, Sandworm #17-20, and Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #7-12.

Layanderletson’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family is Junkeon #23-24, The Arc Troopers: Captain, Lieutenants #1-2, Heavy Weapons Specialist, and Trooper #1-5, Aerial Clone Trooper #2-4, Dr. Liet Kynes, Dr. Pardot Kynes, Liet Kynes Ghola, Dorothy (w/ Demon Rod), w/ Toto (w/ Mithril Vest), The Scarecrow (w/ Devil Lance), The Tin Man, and The Cowardly Lion, Eustace (in dragon form) w/ Reepicheep, Jitsu atop Nightstalker, Ookla the Mok, Toxie w/ Major Disaster, NoZone, Junkyard, and Headbanger, Myster Inc.: Fred, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Velma, and Daphne (w/ Star Wand), w/ Scooby-Dumb, Black Lantern Kyle Houslander, Zombie Zachary Houslander, Nichol Valdez (w/ jetpack, Sith Lavarouk, and blue lightsaber), Fremen #64-69, Uruk hai #3-5, Hammer Bros. #4-10, and Boomerang Bros. #2-4.


Sandworms. The Kings of the FFL Desert Week. The most sought after common in the whole game. And although I may not be the only guy who knows how to write them anymore because the other watchers so excel at research (even if Becks still doesn’t know what he’s talking about) I still love doing it myself. It’s the other reason I traded matches with that turd-burgler Pogo. When it comes to sandworms I’m like the little sister from A League of their Own with high-fastballs. I may never hit them out of the park, but I just can’t lay off them. So here we are. The score of this one starts of simple: 4 to nothing. But The Kitties aren’t totally week, and there still is a match to watch; so here we go:

Panic has truly struck the desert of Doky Doky. The Slaves are old pros when it comes to the desert; but not so much that they found it necessary to throw junk at this match. In fact the absolute opposite is true. Despite having quite a squad to back up Shai Halud though, The Slaves waste no time waiting for their opponents to stir up the sleeping giants. Head Coach George Washington has high hopes that this Purge Year could be just what The Slaves need to make their triumphant return to The Universe Bowl; and once there…. Well, who knows…

As the match begins, the 4 sandworms are already showing wormsign and leaping from the mighty dunes, destroying what little structure is present here in the Japanese title of Super Mario Bros. 2.

Several members of both squads have gained knowingly temporary, yet seemingly safe shelter from the immediate reach of the Makers, but battles for much required “safe” real estate break out everywhere.

The Ancient Ginaz Swordmasters, though outnumbered move so swiftly and precisely and are making short work of The Uruk hai, Hammer Bros., and Boomerang Bros., until The Fremen, led by their honorary Fremen and planetologists Dr. Liet Kynes, his dad Pardot, and his ghola clone. Even when the ten Scout Troopers came racing up on their mythical speeder bikes that they are not technically supposed to have, it was not enough to completely tip the scales. As the true threat, Sandworm #19 comes bursting out of the sand, The Kynes crew is carefully calculating a plan via communicator with the Arc Troopers in what seems like a vain attempt to defeat the scaled behemoths. As Sandworm #19 comes back down to the sandy ground, the Fremen plant their thumpers and help each other climb on to the back of the great maker. What will come of this mission, will be difficult to tell.

Solomon Grundy holds his ground as Junkeon #23 in robot form rides on the motorcycle transformed Junkeon #24. Grundy focuses all of his rage and red lantern power to blow a whole through Junkeon #24, which flings #23 onto the dunes. The surviving Junkeon whips his spiked wheel shield at Grundy to crush him into grey goo. But before the Junkeon can have a moment of solo calm or celebration, Superman comes rocketing through the chest of the non-Cybertronian Transformer and extinguishing his spark on the way to rendezvousing with his old friend Master Ki Adi Mundi, in an undisclosed safe spot scouted out by Coach Washington before the battle even began.

Sayid Jarrah and his old buddy Wild Man #1 are chilling out on an elevated platform sharing stories about the good ol’ days. The two of them have both been members of The Slaves since the Season 1 draft and have been through a lot together. They are right in the middle of a great conversation about that time Wedge started singing The Touch when Yoda opened up The Autobot Matrix, when a lightsaber blade came bursting out the front of Wild Man #1. Nichol Valdez had flown up stealthily with her jetpack and stabbed The LOTR Wild Man in the back. She attempts to get behind Jarrah and attempt a similar move; but Sayid is too fast. He ignites his own lightsaber and avenges his buddy by chopping Nichol in half at the torso.

Green Arrow and Speedy are holding their own rather nicely against Toxie and his whole crew, they take out Toxie himself, as well as Junkyard before Sandworm #18 bursts from the sand and consumes all involved on both teams.

Black Lantern Kyle and Zombie Zack team up with Ookla the Mok to simultaneously have an “undead” conversation about who Nick bought the Ki Adi Mundi action figure for, and who therefore has the right to eat him, while they team with Ookla to take out Sayid Jarrah; but this one is ended by sandworm intervention as well. This time by #20.

On a side note. Something seems a little fishy (or perhaps sand-trouty (a Dune joke that few will get)). It seems jinky that the sandworms would be able to come out this quickly and that The Slaves would have such good intel as to where the best hiding places are in this particular setting. It is definitely curious…. Mystery Inc. decides that they are definitely going to need to get to the bottom of this mystery. Many people think that perhaps Wart is involved, but Velma figures out quickly that he has been hanging out in 7-2 the whole time. Fred then realizes that it couldn’t of happened too far away from here after he interviews every snake charmed serpent around. But it isn’t until Daphne stumbles upon a clue while dropping a potion that she realizes that it was not Mouser after all either. Shaggy and Scooby find a bunch of enormous mushrooms to eat which has them growing considerably; but still won’t satisfy their appetites. Like most Scooby-Doo fans I’m just going to ignore Scooby-Dumb’s existence approximately 97% of the time. But if it is none of these culprits, then who could it be? Who would have the connections, the know-how, and the money to run an underground ring, gain all the proper intel before the match, and know where to set up shop in a spot that would be protected enough from the opposing squad, yet safe enough from The Sandworms? It could only be one person: Jabba the Hutt. Jabba is safely on his suspensor platform ready to retreat from this battle and let the sandworms do his dirty work for him when he hears Fred yell: “Hold it right there you slimy Hutt”. Velma explains the whole scenario to the fat slob of a villain, and he informs them that he would have gotten away with it if it were not for them snooping kids and their (2) dog(s). They feel that they should call the police and have Jabba taken away, but they then remember that this is The FFL, so Daphne just blasts him to death with her star wand instead. The crew is happy, and headed for the closest local diner for some grub when they walk out of the secret lair and see Sandworm #17 heading right for them. What does one even say at this moment………. Shaggy went with: “Zoinks”.

Jitsu and Nightstalker move through the desert unharmed and searching out any member of The Slaves worthy of their combat; but the only one they find is Sandworm #18. The Master of the Universe Martial artist and his cyborg horse find that it is them who would prove to not be the worthy opponents as they are unnoticeably consumed by the Maker.

Dorothy and The Scarecrow lead their Oz crew against Yendar Platis. As Dorothy and friends brandish their various weapons, Master Platis exposes all six of his arms and ignites all six of his lightsabers. Platis hits Toto in the chest but he is nearly unharmed due to his mithril vest. Dorothy uses her Demon Rod; but it does nothing and in essence proves that she is neither a good witch or a bad witch, as Platis runs her through. The Scarecrow misses with his Devil Lance and catches a lightsaber to the throat and the Lion gets a force push, double lightsaber to the chest combo; but this leaves the Jedi master open just long enough to get bit in the leg by Toto and then gets an axe to the face by the Tin Man. Like their allies before them though, the victory of Toto and the Tin Man is enjoyed just long enough to see Sandworm #20 fall upon them.

The Fremen atop the mighty Maker known as Sandworm #19 is meticulously guiding the worm through the dunes. They use their maker hooks, ropes, and know-how to bring the sandworm to the desired location, in hopes that this long shot of a plan will not only work, but that they can get it to work three more consecutive times after this one. They guide the Maker into the super-advanced mine field set by The Arc Troopers and the highly skilled best of the best Clone Troopers unleash a fury of heavy weaponry, machined stops, and water traps that stop the worm in its tracks. The fremen and Kynes crew leap off the sandworm just as they had been instructed by elders of their sietch for years and rendezvous with The Arc Troopers. The dedicated soldiers allow themselves a couple of seconds of celebration as they watch the glorious and sacred animal die within the well-placed traps. But as the thought is popping into the head of the Arc Trooper Captain to begin the tedious process of resetting the elaborate trap, all of the Fremen and troopers instantly look up to see the remaining three sandworms burst from the sand and come down upon them all. The Fremen have no measure of surprise in them at all, but The Arc Troopers see the majesty of their enemy and mentally become Zensunni converts seconds before their death occurs. “By Shai Halud”, they all yell in their final seconds.

Perched up high on a solid cloud Superman and one of the Slave originals, now twice resurrected* (*in various versions) by this team converse with each other up top. Master Mundi speaks to his new friend as they witness their sandworm allies lay to waste The Super Kitties Squad. Mundi says: “I feel a strong resurgence in the force Kal. Yoda felt it too before his demise. There is a strong future for this team, and it very well could be every bit of what we have all been fighting for these long years. It is truly an honor to fight alongside you Kal El, but I have more to offer than just simple gratitude. I have something that I need to say to you that I think is of value”. Superman looks perplexed and begins to ask Ki Adi what it is he has on his chest when the pair is forced into action. The two forgotten Kitties that have evaded the sandworms come rushing on to the scene. Eustace the dragon with Reepicheep the Mouse on his back come flying directly towards the two Slaves.

“This ain’t over yet” Screams Reepicheep as he front flips on to the cloud. His sword is drawn as Ki Adi Mundi ignites his lightsaber, while Superman takes flight to do battle with the much larger dragon. As Mundi and the mouse fence on the room-lacking cloud, Superman and Eustace take up a mile of sky to do battle. Superman is subjected to attacks of fire, as well as perfectly aimed tail whips and clawed kick attacks. The Kryptonian also finds that the dragon is far more agile in the air than his large size would suggest. Superman redirects his attack though and mows through a blast of intense fire in order to deliver an upper cut to the dragon’s chin, which is followed by a blast of heat vision that is so lengthy and intense that not even the dragon’s heated core can withstand it.

Back on the cloud the two combatants have no time to pay heed to what is going on in the battle between Superman and Eustace as every bit of their focus is being centered on each other. Ki Adi Mundi is shocked at the ability of the much smaller mouse and spares himself a second to wonder how great this little creature could be should he ever have had the proper force training. Reepicheep manages to parry all of Mundi’s attacks; but when he goes in for a neck kill shot with his undersized sword, Ki Adi is able to flip under the cloud, swing back on to the other side and deliver a perfectly timed lightsaber attack into Reepicheep’s very small target of a body.

Superman lands back on the cloud next to Mundi only seconds later, and reminds his teammate that he had something to say. Ki Adi Mundi tells a shortened version of a story where a young boy was thought to be the fulfillment of a prophecy. He was going to be the one who would bring balance to the force. He spoke of how he and many others died in this version of the universe because it came to be a path of death and destruction. Many including the patron of The Slaves: Yoda, had their doubts. He said that it was supposed to be a person born outside of the normal realm of the Jedi and that this person, who could wield unimaginable power could bring balance to the force. Master Mundi then told Superman the tale of Anakin Skywalker, who would later come to be known as Darth Vader.

Superman was very interested but confused at the story’s relevance. He asked: “Why is this something that need be discussed while still on the battlefield, Master Mundi”?

Ki Adi Mundi answered: “Because I feel that The George Washington’s Slaves are meant to bring about this new realm of clairvoyance. I believe that Anakin never was to bring about the true balanced force. I think The Chosen One is something very different. I still believe one will come forth and bring true balance to The Force. I think this time has come. I believe that The Chosen One Kal El, is………. You”.