Saturday, April 8, 2023
Week 5 Democracy: Dolla 49 McRib vs TEAM
Monday, April 3, 2023
2023 Week 4: League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen vs Underhills
League of Extraordinary Hetersexual Gentlemen: Superman, Martian Manhunter, Magneto, Ultron, Commander Ahsoka Tano in TIE Fighter, General Kenobi in A-Wing, Lando and Lobot in Imperial Shuttle, Skylynx, T-X, Thrust, Homelander, Ajax and Beowulf in TIE Reaper
Underhills: General Zod, Neo w/ 2 Blue Lightsabers, Mogo, Aerial Bots combined into Superion, John Stewart, Green Lantern #1-5, Blue Lantern #1-2, Rooster and Hangman in Ebon Hawk, Revan Reborn in TIE Interceptor, Starkiller in X-Wing, Darth Talon in First Order TIE Fighter, Phoenix (Rachel Summers), Meggan, Raven, Transformers #1-5, Xenomnorph Alien #1-20, Sith Marauder #1 in Resistance X-Wing, Sith Marauder #2-
First and foremost, Magneto is present so… hold up, let’em cook. Don’t hate the writer here, it’s just how the match happened, I can’t do anything about it. He has cooked, and the following are now Rest in Pieces: Aerial Bots, Rooster and Hangman in Ebon Hawk, Starkiller in X-Wing, Darth Talon in First Order TIE Fighter (cause in poo-poo empire spaceship), Transformers #1-5, Sith Marauder #1-3, Skylynx, T-X, Thrust, and Magneto (accidentally caught a stray from himself). Also, don't question the logistics of this, it just happened.
Now, onto the rest of the match with a little less pesky metal moving about. We’ll take our omnipresent eye and focus it on The Underhills who set up camp on their teammate, Mogo. General Zod, a maniacal mastermind, has taken the reigns of The Underhills squad as the team is on a deep space exploration of the universe. At this time, Ultron is also leading The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen (LEHG) on a space exploration. Ahsoka Tano’s home planet, Shili, is riddled with blight and it’s not looking good long-term. LEHG decided to help the Togruta species find a new home. Lucky for them, a wormhole was placed within close distance to Shili. Ultron leads the team through the wormhole in hopes of a habitable planet on the other side…
To LEHG’s delight, they exit out of the wormhole to a large green planet before them. It seems very promising for the Togruta that they may have a habitable world. LEHG descends onto the planet to take a closer look. As they approach, Revan Reborn intercepts the squad in his TIE interceptor (get it… cause he intercepts in an interceptor… get it?). He calls out on the radio, “This planet is off limits to everyone, you must halt your approach and turn around or you will be met with violence.” Unfortunately, with how all political communication in the modern world seems to go, LEHG does not receive the message and continue their approach. Revan no longer waits and pushes forward to shoot down the A-Wing. General Kenobi, a decent flier with added force powers is able to dodge the first attack. However, the shots catch Lando and Lobot in the Imperial Shuttle. On Revan’s second flyby, he catches shots onto the A-Wing, damaging the shields but not a fatal hit. Instead, Homelander heat visions through one of Revan’s wings and causes him to crash into a mountain. The destruction above catches the attention of The Underhills and it appears that LEHG is attacking Mogo. But of course, LEHG sees it as The Underhills attacking them. Quite the predicament.
Nonetheless, Homelander continues his advance after taking out the Reborn force user. He is met with Neo, the chosen one, wielding two blue lightsabers. Homelander, in his arrogant and vicious mentality, regards Neo as but a petty human. Neo can’t possibly be a match to the mighty Homelander, the super powerful Superman rip-off with an added sense of Gen Z mental issues. Although, it doesn’t matter because Neo has already split Homelander in two with his wicked glow sticks. Meanwhile, the Xenomorphs are being treated like firing squad victims from the ships piloted by Ahsoka Tano, Kenobi, and Ajax/Beowulf. Phoenix sees this and realizes she needs to provide air support. Kenobi’s A-Wing is made quick work, considering his shields were already damaged. Phoenix then takes out Ahsoka’s ship while Ajaz/Beowulf decide to kamikazee into Phoenix. Luckily, Ahsoka was able to bail out before her ship was destroyed. At the same time, John Stewart along with the Green and Blue Lanterns are able to subdue Ultron through the help of Mogo, boosting the power of the Green Lanterns. They are able to place him in a prison, not unlike what Parallax was put in.
By now, General Zod has put together a plan to take out Superman. Who else would it involve other than Lois Lane. Superman approaches Zod to realize he is holding Lois captive, “Don’t do this Zod, let her go.” Zod responds with a simple answer… he snaps Lois’ neck. Zod, unfortunately, did not understand the result this would give in Superman. Instead of crippling from sadness, all Superman could see was red. Without hesitation, he flies straight through Zod, detaching his head from the rest of his body. The Green and Blue Lanterns attempt to subdue Superman like they did Ultron… there was no chance for them, Superman has started to kill anything in sight.
The Martian Manhunter sees what Superman is doing and he tells Ahsoka to leave, as fast as she can telling her to return to Shili and never come back here. They find her a spare ship and she flies towards the wormhole they arrived in.
Raven tells John Stewart and Neo to give her as much time as they can spare. Mogo decides he can help too, and makes his entrance into the fight, and he recognizes the Martian lifeform traveling along the planet. Mogo remembers it like it was yesterday when the Guardians gave the Martians a genetic fear of fire due to their unmatched power. All he needed to do was create a ring of fire around the Martian Manhunter and bam, he’s subdued for the fight.
John, returning to battle, notices something odd about Lois’ body… its changing shape back into… Meggan! Stewart realizes that Lois isn’t actually dead and his old friend Superman needs to realize this before he kills everything in sight. It’s too late though, Superman dashes to John Stewart and puts a hand through his chest. In his last gasps of air he tells Superman, “Lois… isn’t dead… it was a… shapeshifter…” Superman pauses, confused at what he’s heard. He flies back to Lois’ body only to realize his old friend was right, Lois isn’t dead. A wave of relief comes over him, but he starts to see the destruction around him and is struck with sorrow. This moment of pause is all Raven needed, John Stewart had provided her enough time to use her magic powers to conjure a kryptonite kyber crystal and tosses it to Neo. He swaps it into one of his Lightsabers and throws it directly into Superman’s back.
For some reason, Mogo stopped the fire. It was plenty of time for the Martian Manhunter to swoop into Neo. Neo, thinking the battle is one, doesn’t see the Martian approach him. Neo’s neck didn’t survive the encounter. The Martian switches direction towards Raven, but she simply teleports him to a hellscape for him to spend the rest of his eternity in fire…
Week 4 Consortium: David Byrne's Meat Suits vs Doctor's Madhouse
David Byrne's Meat Suits: Galactus and herald David Byrne, Hal Jordan, Captain Kirk, Enterprise Commander, Enterprise Lieutenants, Enterprise Crew members 1-5 all in the USS Enterprise, The Leader in the Mario 2 spaceship, Guy Gardner, Atrocitus, Nite Owl, The Comedian, Silk Spectre, Ozymandius, Rorschach, Freddy Krueger, Omnius, Reverse Flash, Vladimir Harkonen, Stormtroopers 1-20, Pounce and Wingspan, Junkeons 1-9, Big Bird and Snuffalufagus, Deadpool, Deathstroke, Chip and Dale
Doctors Madhouse: Brainiac w/ Brainiac’s Skull Ship, Darth Vader w/ Darth Vader’s TIE Fighter, Jango Fett w/ Slave I, Padme Amidala w/ Naboo Starfighter, Clone Troopers #1-10 w/ Republic Shuttle, SHIELD Agents #1-10 w/ Quinjet, John and Ted w/ Y-Wing, Ranx The Sentient City, Dr Manhattan, Silver Surfer, Abeloth, Captain Marvel, Nova (Richard Rider), Hancock, Kryptonian #1-3, Yellow Lantern Ring #3, Parademon #1-6The Sigmaz Vs. TEAM
The Sigmaz are Edrik and Suerat in The Dream Voyager, Vorian Atreides in a Sith Fighter, Samus in a flying saucer, Goku, Mega Man and Rush, Master Chief in a Naboo Starfighter, The Terminator (3), The Dino-bots: Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, & Swoop, Six Shot, Sunstorm, The Unambomber in an Iron Man Suit, Odin, Kratos, Atreus, & Fenrir, Tokka & Razhar, The Shredder, Wakandan #1-6, Domestic Terrorist #1-6, Goblin #1-6, and The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann commanded by Malcom X (in a Vibranium Suit, w/ a green lightsaber) & Barack Obama.
Sunday, April 2, 2023
S14 Week 4: Washington Redskins vs Dolla 49 McRib
Dolla 49 McRib is: the living tribunal, bizzaro superman, dr fate, spectre, anti monitor, sentry, dr.midnight, mr terrific, starman, mewtwo, zeus, dr.stange, wong, xavier harkonnen, 3 harkonnen soldiers
The battle began with a sudden burst of energy from Larfleeze, the Orange Lantern, as he unleashed a powerful beam of energy that struck Zeus, the king of the gods. Zeus retaliated with a bolt of lightning, but Larfleeze absorbed the energy and used it to enhance his own powers and obliterate the god of thunder. Dr. Midnight and Sentry swooped in to help but Larfleeze proved to be too powerful for both Sentry and Dr. Midnight, easily overpowering them with his immense strength and the overwhelming force of his Orange Lantern Ring. With a flurry of energy blasts and constructs, he swiftly defeated both heroes.Meanwhile, Chuck Norris and the two Black Lanterns engaged in a fierce hand-to-hand combat with Dr. Fate, who wielded powerful magic. Chuck Norris landed a powerful punch on Dr. Fate, but the sorcerer was able to deflect the attack with a magical shield. In retaliation, Dr. Fate conjured a powerful spell that sent Chuck Norris hurtling through space and then quickly turned his attention to the black lanterns, and dispatched them.
Asajj Ventress and the U-wing of Arc Troopers and crew engaged in a dogfight with Spectre and Anti-Monitor. Asajj Ventress proved to be a skilled pilot, outmaneuvering the two villains with ease. However, the tide turned when Anti-Monitor unleashed a powerful blast of anti-matter energy that shot a hole in the Arc Troopers' ship and all members were shot into the vacuum of space. Asajj Ventress was distracted by the exploding ship of her teammates that gave Spectre plenty of time to destroy her ship and her in it. While blinded by fury and hatred, Spectre doesn’t see Saint Walker coming in for the attack. He channels the power of hope (whatever the hell that is) to create a massive construct that envelopes Spectre and weakens him. With Spectre weakened, Saint Walker channels the power of hope once again to deal a final blow, shattering Spectre's form.
After defeating Spectre, Saint Walker looks to help the rest of his arial squad who are trying to take out the Anti-Monitor. Jedi Master #9’s Ar-wing was easily swatted away by Anti-Monitor when Thundercracker, buster and Skywarp come in to help Saint Walker. The Anti-Monitor was set to throw a burst of cosmic energy but Sinestro came just in time to block it with his white lantern ring causing the blast to backfire and kill himself. Some Redskins were lost in the battle but Sinestro and Saint Walker were able to take off and fight in other battles.
At the same time, Xavier Harkonnen and his soldiers along with Mewtwo, Starman and Mr.terrific clashed with Carol Ferris, The Leprechaun, Sodom Yat and Star Sapphire #1. The soldiers were armed with advanced weapons and were able to hold their own against the two heroes. However, their technology was no match for the power of the White Lantern Ring wielded by Sinestro, who flew in to aid his comrades. Sinestro unleashed a powerful blast of energy that obliterated the Redskin soldiers but also took out his teammates as collateral damage.
Meanwhile, the Living Tribunal, one of the most powerful beings in the universe, faced off against Omega Supreme and the Silver Hawks. The Silver Hawks used their advanced technology and weaponry to attack the Living Tribunal, but their attacks had no effect on the cosmic entity. Omega Supreme tried to strike the Living Tribunal with his powerful weapons, but the Living Tribunal was able to deflect the attacks with ease.
The Living Tribunal retaliated with a powerful blast of energy that destroyed the Silver Hawks' ships and sent them hurtling through space. Omega Supreme was still standing, but even he was no match for the Living Tribunal's might. The Living Tribunal unleashed a final blast of energy that destroyed Omega Supreme.
In another quadrant of space, many of the combatants have reassembled from prior battles. Bizarro Superman's incredible strength and durability allowed him to withstand all of Larfleeze's attacks, leaving him struggling to find a way to defeat him. Dr. Fate's magical powers proved to be a formidable obstacle for Saint Walker and Indigo One, as he was able to neutralize their abilities and prevent them from using their powers to their full potential. Meanwhile, Wong's expert martial arts skills proved to be too much for Monk to handle, leaving him unable to flank their opponents or provide support to his teammates. Despite their best efforts, only Dr. Strange remained, having used his mastery of the mystic arts to overpower the remaining members of both teams. His powers allowed him to manipulate reality itself, and he was able to neutralize Larfleeze's constructs and defeat Saint Walker and Indigo One. As soon as he stood victorious in this battle, he was instantly cut in two by Sinestro heading to a final standoff.
The battle was down to its last two combatants. I just realized Allicon #10 hasn’t made an appearance so let's just say that as he is watching this final battle between Sinestro and Living Tribunal, his mind was melted due to its total awesomeness.
Sinestro wasted no time as he flew in to face the Living Tribunal, wielding the power of the White Lantern Ring. The Living Tribunal laughed at Sinestro's audacity, but Sinestro was undeterred. He unleashed a powerful blast of energy that struck the Living Tribunal, causing the cosmic entity to falter for the first time in the battle.The Living Tribunal retaliated with a powerful blast of energy, but Sinestro was able to absorb the attack with his ring. Sinestro unleashed another blast of energy, and another, and another, until finally the Living Tribunal was brought to its knees. As the Living Tribunal floated lifeless, Sinestro positioned himself above his face and squatted repeatedly on it.
“Cosmic Teabag” he thought to himself as he flew away victorious.