Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
PLAY-OFFS.!.!.!.!.!.!..!!..!.PLAY-OFFS
Just to let everyone know, there is actually not one team in all of Fantasy Fantasy that is technically eliminated from the Play-Offs (yet). So keep trying!! The League would like to give out a special congratulations to (Disney's bane) Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & (NASA Hatin) President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos for being the only team to thus far clinch their division, this being the third straight year that they have won the Nick Houslander Division. The thus far undefeated Xavier's Annihilation Squad & The Right Wing have both clinched National League play-off spots as well. In The American League, all 3 divisions are still undecided, but The Horsemen of Apokloips, TEAM, & Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve have all clinched a spot in the Play-offs. Good Luck everybody.
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Abomitrons
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Sandworm #14, Fremen #7-12, Amazon #1-12, Exodus, Sheanna, Moltenadon, Prowl, & Springer.
The Abomitrons are Starship Trooper #57-80.
Starship Trooper #57 looks at his longtime friend and roomate Starship Trooper #58 and says: "I'll tell you what Buck (they are both from Alabama by the way) I love Coach Pennyworth as much as the next feller, but him sendin just us out here to face The Horsemen don't smell to sweet, if ya ask me". Just then The Horsemen attack. A wave of Amazons, along with Prowl & Springer rush The Troopers. One of the Amazon women is heard yelling: "we just need to keep them busy until the Fremen come with the worm. We got to hit em hard and then pull out". The Starship Troopers stand their ground, but Trooper #76 is heard wispering "That's what she said" in response to The Amazon's order, while Trooper #69 snickers and says: "You're such a FAG". The Amazons start to get mowed down by the superior weaponry of the Troopes but they do manage to kill 3 of them. Springer also kills one, and Prowl manages to take out 2. But then they start to see wormsign. It appears as if electricity is eminating from the ground as the great worm comes rushing toward the Troopers with Sheanna at the helm on top of the worm joined by the 6 Fremen. Springer transforms into his Cybertronian Helicopter form and the last 3 remaining Amazons (#2, 6, & 11) all grab on as he flies away. Springer yells to his fellow Autobot: "Get out of there Prowl"! But The Troopers focus all of their firepower on The Transformer and kill Prowl before he can escape. Exodus pulls both himself and Moltenadon far away from the action while the Troopers turn and fire on the enormous worm heading towards them. The Troopers hold their ground, showing how well-trained they truly are. They even manage to pick off Fremen #8 & 10 with their blasters from far below them before Sandworm #14 leaves the sand that they once stood on looking no different than it did before the fight even began.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Abomitrons are Starship Trooper #57-80.
Starship Trooper #57 looks at his longtime friend and roomate Starship Trooper #58 and says: "I'll tell you what Buck (they are both from Alabama by the way) I love Coach Pennyworth as much as the next feller, but him sendin just us out here to face The Horsemen don't smell to sweet, if ya ask me". Just then The Horsemen attack. A wave of Amazons, along with Prowl & Springer rush The Troopers. One of the Amazon women is heard yelling: "we just need to keep them busy until the Fremen come with the worm. We got to hit em hard and then pull out". The Starship Troopers stand their ground, but Trooper #76 is heard wispering "That's what she said" in response to The Amazon's order, while Trooper #69 snickers and says: "You're such a FAG". The Amazons start to get mowed down by the superior weaponry of the Troopes but they do manage to kill 3 of them. Springer also kills one, and Prowl manages to take out 2. But then they start to see wormsign. It appears as if electricity is eminating from the ground as the great worm comes rushing toward the Troopers with Sheanna at the helm on top of the worm joined by the 6 Fremen. Springer transforms into his Cybertronian Helicopter form and the last 3 remaining Amazons (#2, 6, & 11) all grab on as he flies away. Springer yells to his fellow Autobot: "Get out of there Prowl"! But The Troopers focus all of their firepower on The Transformer and kill Prowl before he can escape. Exodus pulls both himself and Moltenadon far away from the action while the Troopers turn and fire on the enormous worm heading towards them. The Troopers hold their ground, showing how well-trained they truly are. They even manage to pick off Fremen #8 & 10 with their blasters from far below them before Sandworm #14 leaves the sand that they once stood on looking no different than it did before the fight even began.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
TEAM Vs. Team S.P.
TEAM is The Presence, Imperiex, Ultraman, Power Ring, White Martian, Johnny Quick, Owl Man, Mon El, Lor Zod, The Shining Force w/ Bokken, Mike & Laura Sroka (w/ blue lightsabers), Sepiroth, Kefka, Blaster w/ Rewind, Eject, Ramhorn, Steeljaw, Raindance, & Grandslam, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee w/ Bill the Pony, Cop-Tur, & Nightmare.
Team S.P. is Modok, Toro, Wildcat, Capt. Boomerang, Vision, Flash (Jay Garrett), Kang the Conqueror, The Vanisher, SHIELD Agent #1-4, Cloak & Dagger, Thunderbird, Banshee, Ka-Zar & Zabu, Super Skrull, Skrull #23-53, & Speed Buggy.
Despite the amazing excitement that raged thru this match from beginning to end, it seems as though Mikeatu fell asleep at the very beginning and did not wake up until long after it was over. We Watchers know very little of what happened during the match, but we know from who needed to be revived for Week 9, who lived and who died throughout the course of the fight and who came back to the locker room victorious. The Presence, Imperiex, Ultraman, Power Ring, Owl Man, Mon El, Lor Zod, Every member of the Shining Force except for Vann, Yogurt, Bokken, Adam, Zylo, & Balbaroy(they died), Mike & Laura, & Rewind. Although this was supposed to be a deathmatch, thru unknown means Vision, Super Skrull, Toro, Wildcat, & Speed Buggy all survived as well.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Team S.P. is Modok, Toro, Wildcat, Capt. Boomerang, Vision, Flash (Jay Garrett), Kang the Conqueror, The Vanisher, SHIELD Agent #1-4, Cloak & Dagger, Thunderbird, Banshee, Ka-Zar & Zabu, Super Skrull, Skrull #23-53, & Speed Buggy.
Despite the amazing excitement that raged thru this match from beginning to end, it seems as though Mikeatu fell asleep at the very beginning and did not wake up until long after it was over. We Watchers know very little of what happened during the match, but we know from who needed to be revived for Week 9, who lived and who died throughout the course of the fight and who came back to the locker room victorious. The Presence, Imperiex, Ultraman, Power Ring, Owl Man, Mon El, Lor Zod, Every member of the Shining Force except for Vann, Yogurt, Bokken, Adam, Zylo, & Balbaroy(they died), Mike & Laura, & Rewind. Although this was supposed to be a deathmatch, thru unknown means Vision, Super Skrull, Toro, Wildcat, & Speed Buggy all survived as well.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Massive Graveyard Updates!
Check out the Fantasy Fantasy Graveyard to see all of the new entries! There will be more to come very soon as well.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Built Ford Tough vs Bruce's Bodacious Bullies
Built Ford Tough is Scout Trooper #1-26 (1-3 are on speeder bikes), Kobold #1-6, Mandalorian #6-10, (new) Blue Beetle, Fedayeen Assasin #1, Jack Ryan w/ Keith Mars, Veronica Mars, & Weevil in the EM-50, Harrison Ford (w/ a green lantern ring), Jeff Houslander (w/ a red lantern ring) w/ Zaphrod Beezlebrock, Trillina, Ford Prefect, & Marvin the Paranoid Android in Jeff's Ram 3500, Beta Ray Bill, Star Sapphire, Rakkim Epps, Despotellis, Ancient Sith Lord #8-13, Sardakaur #1-6, & Treasure Troll #26.
Bruce's Bodacious Bullies are Terminator #39, Xenomorph #53, Predator #49, Dr. Voodoo, Proteus, Nightmare (w/ yellow lantern ring), Lord Dredd, The Stanger, The Leader (w/ red lightsaber), Magik, Atlas, Zodac, Yellowjacket, Hellion, Ultra Magnus, Cybertronian Guardian #10, Riik #3, Elrond, & Junkeon #17.
Angry with the fact that they lost their past two matches to fellow expansion teams, the Bullies are poised to extract some revenge on Built Ford Tough, who is coming off of a huge win against Oblivio. Hellion is the first to act. He flies in at subsonic speeds and with the use of his telekinesis, he kills all six Sardakurs. Beta Ray Bill then flies in and uses Stormbreaker to crush the skull of Lord Dredd. He then fires a lightning bolt into the chest of Yellowjacket. But he his then possessed by Proteus. “Oh sh#*!!” exclaims Jeff Houslander who is behind the wheel of his Ram 3500. “What?” asks Ford Prefect, who is riding along with Marvin the Paranoid Android, Trillina and Zaphrod Beezlebrock. “Proteus just possessed Beta Ray Bill!” Jeff responds. Beta Ray-Proteus then turns and uses his powers to blow up the Ram 3500. Only an enraged Jeff Houslander emerges from the wreckage, due to his protective force field from his Red Lantern ring. “ARRRGGG!!!!” screams Jeff as he flies right at Beta Ray-Proteus. He levels him with a powerful double axe handle which drives Beta Ray-Proteus into the ice. The Stranger floats high above the battle, quietly observing what is transpiring. Dr. Voodoo conjures up a magical spell that destroys Despotellis before it can infect anyone. Star Sapphire then flies in and blasts right through both Xenomorph #53 and Riik #3, before she is hit with a yellow energy blast from Nightmare. Jack Ryan, Keith Mars, Veronica Mars, and Weevil are all in the EM-50 and are heading on a collision course with Ultra Magnus. The Autobot transforms just at the last second and flips over the urban assault vehicle. Ultra Magnus then fires several rockets that manage to penetrate the EM-50’s protective armor and kill all inside. Harrison Ford flies in with his Green Lantern ring to aid Star Sapphire against Nightmare. The two seem to be gaining an advantage on the evil ruler of the dream dimension. But Magik uses her soul sword to pierce through Star Sapphire’s purple energy field and kill her. This then allows Nightmare to overpower Harrison Ford and destroys him as well. The twenty-three Scout Troopers then work in perfect formation to swarm the Cybertronian Guardian and eliminate the massive transformer, but 15 of the Scout Troopers fall in the attack. The three Scout Troopers that are on Speeder Bikes then zip in and start blasting at Junkeon #17. They manage to take it out as well, but only Scout Trooper #1 survives. Zodac then teams up with Dr. Voodoo and the two of them eliminate the rest of the Scout Troopers. Atlas then finds himself surrounded by six Kobolds, but the Titan who is used to bearing the spheres of the heavens on his shoulders makes short work of them Blue Beetle then flies in and tries to attack Hellion. But the mutant uses his telekinetic powers to throw diversions in his path. This then allows Predator #49 to ensnare Blue Beetle with his whip which is powerful enough to slice him in half once the Predator pulled it taut. The Leader is then overwhelmed by six Ancient Sith Lords who make short work of him. They then continue on and are able to defeat Nightmare. But only Ancient Sith Lord #9 and #11 survive the attack. The Mandalorian fly in and target Terminator #39, who is able to take out Mandalorian #8-10 before being destroyed himself. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander is still fighting fiercely with Beta Ray-Proteus and seems to be able to be winning. The rage that Jeff displays is truly amazing. But Proteus has now used up all of the life in Beta Ray’s body and he leaves what is now just a husk of Bill’s body. He then uses his powers to literally warp reality and destroy Jeff Houslander. But the rage-filled roofer isn’t one to go down easily. He makes sure Proteus dies as well. Elrond then is attacked by Rakkim Epps, but the Elven leader is able to defeat his opponent. The Stranger finally comes down to the battle and with the flick of his hand, finishes this battle along with Built Ford Tough.
BRUCE’S BODACIOUS BULLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Bruce's Bodacious Bullies are Terminator #39, Xenomorph #53, Predator #49, Dr. Voodoo, Proteus, Nightmare (w/ yellow lantern ring), Lord Dredd, The Stanger, The Leader (w/ red lightsaber), Magik, Atlas, Zodac, Yellowjacket, Hellion, Ultra Magnus, Cybertronian Guardian #10, Riik #3, Elrond, & Junkeon #17.
Angry with the fact that they lost their past two matches to fellow expansion teams, the Bullies are poised to extract some revenge on Built Ford Tough, who is coming off of a huge win against Oblivio. Hellion is the first to act. He flies in at subsonic speeds and with the use of his telekinesis, he kills all six Sardakurs. Beta Ray Bill then flies in and uses Stormbreaker to crush the skull of Lord Dredd. He then fires a lightning bolt into the chest of Yellowjacket. But he his then possessed by Proteus. “Oh sh#*!!” exclaims Jeff Houslander who is behind the wheel of his Ram 3500. “What?” asks Ford Prefect, who is riding along with Marvin the Paranoid Android, Trillina and Zaphrod Beezlebrock. “Proteus just possessed Beta Ray Bill!” Jeff responds. Beta Ray-Proteus then turns and uses his powers to blow up the Ram 3500. Only an enraged Jeff Houslander emerges from the wreckage, due to his protective force field from his Red Lantern ring. “ARRRGGG!!!!” screams Jeff as he flies right at Beta Ray-Proteus. He levels him with a powerful double axe handle which drives Beta Ray-Proteus into the ice. The Stranger floats high above the battle, quietly observing what is transpiring. Dr. Voodoo conjures up a magical spell that destroys Despotellis before it can infect anyone. Star Sapphire then flies in and blasts right through both Xenomorph #53 and Riik #3, before she is hit with a yellow energy blast from Nightmare. Jack Ryan, Keith Mars, Veronica Mars, and Weevil are all in the EM-50 and are heading on a collision course with Ultra Magnus. The Autobot transforms just at the last second and flips over the urban assault vehicle. Ultra Magnus then fires several rockets that manage to penetrate the EM-50’s protective armor and kill all inside. Harrison Ford flies in with his Green Lantern ring to aid Star Sapphire against Nightmare. The two seem to be gaining an advantage on the evil ruler of the dream dimension. But Magik uses her soul sword to pierce through Star Sapphire’s purple energy field and kill her. This then allows Nightmare to overpower Harrison Ford and destroys him as well. The twenty-three Scout Troopers then work in perfect formation to swarm the Cybertronian Guardian and eliminate the massive transformer, but 15 of the Scout Troopers fall in the attack. The three Scout Troopers that are on Speeder Bikes then zip in and start blasting at Junkeon #17. They manage to take it out as well, but only Scout Trooper #1 survives. Zodac then teams up with Dr. Voodoo and the two of them eliminate the rest of the Scout Troopers. Atlas then finds himself surrounded by six Kobolds, but the Titan who is used to bearing the spheres of the heavens on his shoulders makes short work of them Blue Beetle then flies in and tries to attack Hellion. But the mutant uses his telekinetic powers to throw diversions in his path. This then allows Predator #49 to ensnare Blue Beetle with his whip which is powerful enough to slice him in half once the Predator pulled it taut. The Leader is then overwhelmed by six Ancient Sith Lords who make short work of him. They then continue on and are able to defeat Nightmare. But only Ancient Sith Lord #9 and #11 survive the attack. The Mandalorian fly in and target Terminator #39, who is able to take out Mandalorian #8-10 before being destroyed himself. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander is still fighting fiercely with Beta Ray-Proteus and seems to be able to be winning. The rage that Jeff displays is truly amazing. But Proteus has now used up all of the life in Beta Ray’s body and he leaves what is now just a husk of Bill’s body. He then uses his powers to literally warp reality and destroy Jeff Houslander. But the rage-filled roofer isn’t one to go down easily. He makes sure Proteus dies as well. Elrond then is attacked by Rakkim Epps, but the Elven leader is able to defeat his opponent. The Stranger finally comes down to the battle and with the flick of his hand, finishes this battle along with Built Ford Tough.
BRUCE’S BODACIOUS BULLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Logical Genocide vs Oblivio
Logical Genocide is Mera (w/ a red lantern ring), Ion, Red Lantern #2, V (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Cyphillic the Black Dragon, The Ray, Shatterstar, Nekron, Zombie Tyler Derdon, Zombie Marine #2, Starman, Moonstone, Iron Patriot, The Hood, Howard & Merve the Gremlins, Bane, Warwolf #3-7, Predator #48, Hawk, Chris Seeney & Cannon Fodder Smurf in Superman's Truck, Colombus, & Tallahasse.
Oblivio is Golden Army Soldier #1-30
The Golden Army is without a leader in this battle, which is actually an advantage for them, as there is no one wielding the crown out on the battlefield, so it cannot be destroyed. Logical Genocide charges in and attacks the Golden Army, but the soulless soldiers do what is only logical to them. This is of course, to commit genocide. They quickly take out all five Warwolves, Columbus, Tallahassee, Zombie Marine #2, Zombie Tyler Durden, Hawk, and both Gremlins before even a single Golden Army Soldier falls. The Ray and Starman fly in and blast Golden Army Soldier #14-19, but the others attack and kill the two. Iron Patriot manages to take out Golden Army Soldier #10-13 before he himself is also killed. Moonstone doesn’t even get a chance to attack before she is crushed beneath the foot of one Golden Army Soldier. Cyphillic, the Black Dragon, swoops in and sprays her acid breath all over Golden Army Soldiers #25-28, causing their destruction as well. But the dragon swoops in too close for her next pass and is killed by Golden Army Soldier #30. “This is crap C.F.!” exclaims the ever irrational Chris Seeney as he is behind the wheel of Superman’s Truck. But before Cannon Fodder Smurf can respond, Golden Army Soldier #9 stomps on the Truck, killing both passengers and preventing anymore of their constant and ridiculous banter from happening in this match. Shatterstar leaps into the battle and jumps back and forth over the heads of the Golden Army Soldiers, killing several of them with his swords. Both V and Red Lantern #2 take flight and destroy Golden Army Soldiers #20-24 as Predator #48 sets explosives on Golden Army Soldiers #3-7. The Hood and Bane then finish off the last of the Golden Army Soldiers as it looks like a quick and easy victory for Logical Genocide. But looks can be deceiving. The Golden Army Soldiers all begin to reform and heal themselves. All thirty of them. They then lay waste to V, Red Lantern #2, The Hood, Bane and Predator #48. Shatterstar is able to evade the attack and regroups with Mera, Ion and Nekron. Mera then fuelled with rage from her Red Lantern ring, lashes out with an incredible attack made completely of ice. The ice slams into the Golden Army Soldiers and they all shatter from the attack. But once again they reform. “I can do that trick too,” Nekron says gravely. He then uses his dark powers to raise all of his fallen teammates and orders them to attack. The zombie members of Logical Genocide (which would technically include a twice zombified Marine #2 and Tyler Durden) attack the Golden Army Soldiers. But this is merely a diversion as Nekron, Ion and Mera unleash their full powers on the Golden Army Soldiers which finally stop the lumbering giants.
LOGICAL GENOCIDE IS VICTORIOUS!!
Oblivio is Golden Army Soldier #1-30
The Golden Army is without a leader in this battle, which is actually an advantage for them, as there is no one wielding the crown out on the battlefield, so it cannot be destroyed. Logical Genocide charges in and attacks the Golden Army, but the soulless soldiers do what is only logical to them. This is of course, to commit genocide. They quickly take out all five Warwolves, Columbus, Tallahassee, Zombie Marine #2, Zombie Tyler Durden, Hawk, and both Gremlins before even a single Golden Army Soldier falls. The Ray and Starman fly in and blast Golden Army Soldier #14-19, but the others attack and kill the two. Iron Patriot manages to take out Golden Army Soldier #10-13 before he himself is also killed. Moonstone doesn’t even get a chance to attack before she is crushed beneath the foot of one Golden Army Soldier. Cyphillic, the Black Dragon, swoops in and sprays her acid breath all over Golden Army Soldiers #25-28, causing their destruction as well. But the dragon swoops in too close for her next pass and is killed by Golden Army Soldier #30. “This is crap C.F.!” exclaims the ever irrational Chris Seeney as he is behind the wheel of Superman’s Truck. But before Cannon Fodder Smurf can respond, Golden Army Soldier #9 stomps on the Truck, killing both passengers and preventing anymore of their constant and ridiculous banter from happening in this match. Shatterstar leaps into the battle and jumps back and forth over the heads of the Golden Army Soldiers, killing several of them with his swords. Both V and Red Lantern #2 take flight and destroy Golden Army Soldiers #20-24 as Predator #48 sets explosives on Golden Army Soldiers #3-7. The Hood and Bane then finish off the last of the Golden Army Soldiers as it looks like a quick and easy victory for Logical Genocide. But looks can be deceiving. The Golden Army Soldiers all begin to reform and heal themselves. All thirty of them. They then lay waste to V, Red Lantern #2, The Hood, Bane and Predator #48. Shatterstar is able to evade the attack and regroups with Mera, Ion and Nekron. Mera then fuelled with rage from her Red Lantern ring, lashes out with an incredible attack made completely of ice. The ice slams into the Golden Army Soldiers and they all shatter from the attack. But once again they reform. “I can do that trick too,” Nekron says gravely. He then uses his dark powers to raise all of his fallen teammates and orders them to attack. The zombie members of Logical Genocide (which would technically include a twice zombified Marine #2 and Tyler Durden) attack the Golden Army Soldiers. But this is merely a diversion as Nekron, Ion and Mera unleash their full powers on the Golden Army Soldiers which finally stop the lumbering giants.
LOGICAL GENOCIDE IS VICTORIOUS!!
Better Than All of You vs Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies
Better Than All of You is Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Gandalf the White, Grey Hulk, Abomination, Iron Spiderman, Anti-Venom, Red Lantern #1, Yellow Lantern #1 & 2, Jedi Councilman #1, Hulk Hogan (w/Mandalorian armor & blue lightsaber), Ric Flair (w/ blue lightsaber), Arn & Ole Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Bret "Hitman" Hart, Jim "the Anvil" Niedhart, Davey Boy Smith, Dynamite Kid, Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies are Hellboy, Etrigan, Guy Gardner, G'Nort, Booster Gold, Agent X, Forge, Lobo, The Great Lakes Avengers: Mr. Immortal, Flatman, Big Bertha, & Squirrel Girl, Squirrels #1-15, Lobo the Duck & Ernie Harwell.
"For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land,” says Ernie Harwell. “Dude, no it’s not. It’s freakin’ freezing out here!” replies Booster Gold. “Wooooooooooooo!” exclaims Ric Flair as Better Than All of You begins their assault. Grey Hulk slams down right onto Flatman, which actually does nothing to him. But Gray Hulk then grabs Flatman and pulls on him so hard that he literally tears in two. Abomination then follows suit and proceeds to eat all fourteen Squirrels who were busy freezing their nuts off (get it? HA!). He then grabs a hold of Squirrel Girl and bites her in half. The Fighting Murderflies are not ones to be outdone as the duo of Lobo and Lobo the Duck take on Iron Spider-Man and Red Lantern #1. Lobo is blasted by Red Lantern #1, but he just shrugs the attack off. Red Lantern #1 then makes the mistake of flying in too close to “Da Main Man” and pays dearly for this. Lobo grabs him by his ankle and drives him into the ice. Lobo then breaks off an icicle and drives it into the back of the Red Lantern’s skull. Lobo the Duck is busy fending off the melee of attack from Iron Spider-Man. But Lobo comes in and the two of them put Iron Spidey out of commission for good. The British Bulldogs tag team Forge as The Hart Foundation team up on Mr. Immortal. Davey Boy Smith gets a hold of Forge before he can get to any of the things he created for this match. The powerhouse picks up Forge and slams him into the snow with a vicious running power slam. Dynamite Kid then climbs high up onto a ice cliff and launches himself off of it and delivers a diving head butt that is so devastating that it not only kills Forge, but Dynamite as well. The Hart Foundation is right at home here in Canada and is fully accustomed to this climate. Mr. Immortal finds himself on the receiving end of a Hart Attack and then is ensnared by Bret “Hitman” Hart in the Sharpshooter. Bret pulls back with all his might and actually manages to snap both knees of Mr. Immortal. Jim “the Anvil” Neidhart then comes over and finishes him off by slamming a chunk of ice down onto Mr. Immortal’s head. Big Bertha stomps over in an attempt to avenge her fallen comrades. But she is attacked by the Four Horsemen. Ole and Arn Anderson are the first to attack, but Big Bertha crushes Old Anderson with her mass. She then is able to do the same to both Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson, but Ric Flair ignites his blue lightsaber and relieves her of her head. Booster Gold, Guy Gardner, and G’Nort then all fly in and quickly overwhelm the two Yellow Lanterns. Then all of a sudden the snow and ice begin to quake. It’s hard to make out exactly what’s coming into the battle due to the severe blizzard, but it’s soon revealed to be the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. “You ready?” Hellboy says to Etrigan. “It’s not for me to boast, but rather others from our clan. We must find a way to roast, this Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!” replies Etrigan. “Yeah, ok. But first… you mind helping me out,” Hellboy says as he pulls out a fresh cigar. Etrigan the Demon then lights Hellboy’s cigar with some hellfire he spits out. The two of them rush right at the giant gooey treat. Hellboy jumps and leaps off of several ice formations to reach the head of Mr. Stay Puft. Etrigan, meanwhile, is using his hellfire to melt the legs of the behemoth. Hellboy takes aim with the Good Samaritan and blasts a hole right in Stay Puft’s face. Etrigan then unleashes a combination of magic and hellfire that finally brings an end to the Marshmallow Man. Grey Hulk then runs over and hits Etrigan square in the jaw, sending him sailing. “That one is loooonngg gooonee!” exclaims Ernie Harwell. Hellboy then leaps onto Grey Hulk’s back and starts punching him with his stone fist. Lobo comes in and lends a hand to Hellboy as they are able to defeat Grey Hulk together. Etrigan charges back into the fray, but is hit by a massive bolt of magic, courtesy of Gandalf the White. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes flip in and quickly take out Agent X. They then jump back and defend Gandalf from any attacks that my come their way. Booster Gold breaks off from Guy Gardner and G’Nort, but is side swiped by Hulk Hogan in his Mandalorian Armor. “Whatcha gonna do brother, when the largest arms in the world and Better Than All of You run wild on you?!” exclaims Hulk Hogan as he ignites his blue lightsaber. Guy Gardner then swoops in and cuts Hulk Hogan in half with a red energy battle axe. “Oooh, he stood there like a house on the side of the road,” says Ernie Harwell. The calm and collected play by play announcer then slowly walks over to Hulk’s cleaved body and looks at the lightsaber that is lying next to it. Abomination then grabs a hold of G’Nort and crushes the very life right out of the Green Lantern. The rage of the Red Lantern ring then quickly takes over Guy Gardner and he goes ballistic on Abomination, tearing him to pieces with a combo of green and red energy. Anti-Venom then leaps onto Guy Gardner and uses his powers to drain the red rage energy out of Guy Gardner. “Heh, thanks,” quips Guy as he regains his senses and blasts Anti-Venom with his green power ring. Lobo the Duck then finds himself surrounded by the Hart Foundation and Davey Boy Smith. He then whistles as loud as he can, which cause both Hellboy and Lobo to jump to his aid and the three of them dispatch the wrestlers. Etrigan then regains his composure from the blast he received from Gandalf. The two sides both regroup for one final attack in this blizzard. Hellboy, Etrigan, Guy Gardner, Lobo and Lobo the Duck begin to rush towards Gandalf the White, Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Jedi Councilman #1, and Ric Flair. The snow begins to fall even harder than before, which makes it nearly impossible to see what is going on. There are just flashes of magic, blasts of hellfire, and swings of lightsabers. But in the end it appears that Hellboy and Lobo the Duck have fallen, so has Jedi Councilman #1 and Storm Shadow. Etrigan, Guy Gardner and Lobo triple team Snake Eyes and Gandalf the White. They are able to overpower them both, but lose Guy Gardner in the process. They believe they have won, but Lobo is pierced with a blue lightsaber from behind. As Lobo’s body falls to the ground Ric Flair shouts, “Woooooo! To be the man, you have to beat the man! Woooooo!” Then, there is a sound of yet another lightsaber being ignited. Flair spins around to see Ernie Harwell, who is wielding Hulk Hogan’s blue lightsaber. Etrigan begins to make a move towards Flair, but Harwell stops him. The hall of fame sportscaster then attacks the hall of fame wrestler with such energy and fervor that Etrigan stands there in awe. The two lightsaber glow in the cold night sky as Flair and Harwell face off. “The Nature Boy” kicks “The Voice of the Tigers” to the ground and begins to do his signature strut. Harwell recovers quicker than Flair expected and slices Ric in half. “Looks like you got called out for excessive window shopping,” quips Harwell. He then turns off the lightsaber and tosses it to the ground. “A fan from Saskatoon will be taking that weapon home today.”
BROCK SAMSON’S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies are Hellboy, Etrigan, Guy Gardner, G'Nort, Booster Gold, Agent X, Forge, Lobo, The Great Lakes Avengers: Mr. Immortal, Flatman, Big Bertha, & Squirrel Girl, Squirrels #1-15, Lobo the Duck & Ernie Harwell.
"For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land,” says Ernie Harwell. “Dude, no it’s not. It’s freakin’ freezing out here!” replies Booster Gold. “Wooooooooooooo!” exclaims Ric Flair as Better Than All of You begins their assault. Grey Hulk slams down right onto Flatman, which actually does nothing to him. But Gray Hulk then grabs Flatman and pulls on him so hard that he literally tears in two. Abomination then follows suit and proceeds to eat all fourteen Squirrels who were busy freezing their nuts off (get it? HA!). He then grabs a hold of Squirrel Girl and bites her in half. The Fighting Murderflies are not ones to be outdone as the duo of Lobo and Lobo the Duck take on Iron Spider-Man and Red Lantern #1. Lobo is blasted by Red Lantern #1, but he just shrugs the attack off. Red Lantern #1 then makes the mistake of flying in too close to “Da Main Man” and pays dearly for this. Lobo grabs him by his ankle and drives him into the ice. Lobo then breaks off an icicle and drives it into the back of the Red Lantern’s skull. Lobo the Duck is busy fending off the melee of attack from Iron Spider-Man. But Lobo comes in and the two of them put Iron Spidey out of commission for good. The British Bulldogs tag team Forge as The Hart Foundation team up on Mr. Immortal. Davey Boy Smith gets a hold of Forge before he can get to any of the things he created for this match. The powerhouse picks up Forge and slams him into the snow with a vicious running power slam. Dynamite Kid then climbs high up onto a ice cliff and launches himself off of it and delivers a diving head butt that is so devastating that it not only kills Forge, but Dynamite as well. The Hart Foundation is right at home here in Canada and is fully accustomed to this climate. Mr. Immortal finds himself on the receiving end of a Hart Attack and then is ensnared by Bret “Hitman” Hart in the Sharpshooter. Bret pulls back with all his might and actually manages to snap both knees of Mr. Immortal. Jim “the Anvil” Neidhart then comes over and finishes him off by slamming a chunk of ice down onto Mr. Immortal’s head. Big Bertha stomps over in an attempt to avenge her fallen comrades. But she is attacked by the Four Horsemen. Ole and Arn Anderson are the first to attack, but Big Bertha crushes Old Anderson with her mass. She then is able to do the same to both Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson, but Ric Flair ignites his blue lightsaber and relieves her of her head. Booster Gold, Guy Gardner, and G’Nort then all fly in and quickly overwhelm the two Yellow Lanterns. Then all of a sudden the snow and ice begin to quake. It’s hard to make out exactly what’s coming into the battle due to the severe blizzard, but it’s soon revealed to be the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. “You ready?” Hellboy says to Etrigan. “It’s not for me to boast, but rather others from our clan. We must find a way to roast, this Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!” replies Etrigan. “Yeah, ok. But first… you mind helping me out,” Hellboy says as he pulls out a fresh cigar. Etrigan the Demon then lights Hellboy’s cigar with some hellfire he spits out. The two of them rush right at the giant gooey treat. Hellboy jumps and leaps off of several ice formations to reach the head of Mr. Stay Puft. Etrigan, meanwhile, is using his hellfire to melt the legs of the behemoth. Hellboy takes aim with the Good Samaritan and blasts a hole right in Stay Puft’s face. Etrigan then unleashes a combination of magic and hellfire that finally brings an end to the Marshmallow Man. Grey Hulk then runs over and hits Etrigan square in the jaw, sending him sailing. “That one is loooonngg gooonee!” exclaims Ernie Harwell. Hellboy then leaps onto Grey Hulk’s back and starts punching him with his stone fist. Lobo comes in and lends a hand to Hellboy as they are able to defeat Grey Hulk together. Etrigan charges back into the fray, but is hit by a massive bolt of magic, courtesy of Gandalf the White. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes flip in and quickly take out Agent X. They then jump back and defend Gandalf from any attacks that my come their way. Booster Gold breaks off from Guy Gardner and G’Nort, but is side swiped by Hulk Hogan in his Mandalorian Armor. “Whatcha gonna do brother, when the largest arms in the world and Better Than All of You run wild on you?!” exclaims Hulk Hogan as he ignites his blue lightsaber. Guy Gardner then swoops in and cuts Hulk Hogan in half with a red energy battle axe. “Oooh, he stood there like a house on the side of the road,” says Ernie Harwell. The calm and collected play by play announcer then slowly walks over to Hulk’s cleaved body and looks at the lightsaber that is lying next to it. Abomination then grabs a hold of G’Nort and crushes the very life right out of the Green Lantern. The rage of the Red Lantern ring then quickly takes over Guy Gardner and he goes ballistic on Abomination, tearing him to pieces with a combo of green and red energy. Anti-Venom then leaps onto Guy Gardner and uses his powers to drain the red rage energy out of Guy Gardner. “Heh, thanks,” quips Guy as he regains his senses and blasts Anti-Venom with his green power ring. Lobo the Duck then finds himself surrounded by the Hart Foundation and Davey Boy Smith. He then whistles as loud as he can, which cause both Hellboy and Lobo to jump to his aid and the three of them dispatch the wrestlers. Etrigan then regains his composure from the blast he received from Gandalf. The two sides both regroup for one final attack in this blizzard. Hellboy, Etrigan, Guy Gardner, Lobo and Lobo the Duck begin to rush towards Gandalf the White, Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Jedi Councilman #1, and Ric Flair. The snow begins to fall even harder than before, which makes it nearly impossible to see what is going on. There are just flashes of magic, blasts of hellfire, and swings of lightsabers. But in the end it appears that Hellboy and Lobo the Duck have fallen, so has Jedi Councilman #1 and Storm Shadow. Etrigan, Guy Gardner and Lobo triple team Snake Eyes and Gandalf the White. They are able to overpower them both, but lose Guy Gardner in the process. They believe they have won, but Lobo is pierced with a blue lightsaber from behind. As Lobo’s body falls to the ground Ric Flair shouts, “Woooooo! To be the man, you have to beat the man! Woooooo!” Then, there is a sound of yet another lightsaber being ignited. Flair spins around to see Ernie Harwell, who is wielding Hulk Hogan’s blue lightsaber. Etrigan begins to make a move towards Flair, but Harwell stops him. The hall of fame sportscaster then attacks the hall of fame wrestler with such energy and fervor that Etrigan stands there in awe. The two lightsaber glow in the cold night sky as Flair and Harwell face off. “The Nature Boy” kicks “The Voice of the Tigers” to the ground and begins to do his signature strut. Harwell recovers quicker than Flair expected and slices Ric in half. “Looks like you got called out for excessive window shopping,” quips Harwell. He then turns off the lightsaber and tosses it to the ground. “A fan from Saskatoon will be taking that weapon home today.”
BROCK SAMSON’S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Monday, May 10, 2010
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Adm. Ozzell in an AT-RT, Exodus, & The Celestial Fourth Host: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzor, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober, Ziran the Tester.
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches are Chip & Dale, Black Dragon #5-7, 9, & 11-14, Green Dragon #13-18, Krayt Dragon #1 & 2, Velociraptor #1-15, Cheer Bear, White Dragon #9-12, & 18-19, & Warg Rider & Warg #9.
Well, here we go the match I've been looking forward to writing since I put the schedule together last year. The Horsemen vs. The Backyardigans in a setting that favors neither of them. A medium point week with 2 of the top FFL organizations. That is until I found out the characters I'd be writing............ Bummer....... Well, anyways..... Let's get this piece of crap over with. Exodus uses his immense cosmic powers to look into the future and see who B-3 would be starting. After he sees this he refuses to actually show up to the match. Adm. Ozzell orders the Celestials to appear but he has them come out of hyper space to close and ruins their element of surprise. This would have been a great time to insert a great "He's as clumsy as he is stupid" line by Vader, but B-3 didn't bother to start Vader this week, so I guess I can't. Adm. Ozzell sees what his team is up against and thinks that it must be a trap of some sort so he orders Gammenon to gather him up and take him to safety. He then orders all of The Celestials to fall back so they are not caught up in the potential trap that the feared B-3 squad must be throwing at them. The entire Fourth Host except for Jemiah the Analyzer fly up to the top of the atmosphere while Jemiah stands in the center of Saskatoon and takes on their opponents. As he is surrounded by the dragons and animals, most of whom are cold-blooded so they are barely moving; Jemiah is able to kill all 15 raptors & both Krayt Dragons. He is amazingly bombarded by the attacks of the ice blowing White Dragons and The Acid blowing Black Dragons and is shockingly enough destroyed by these powerful mythical creatures. What is left of the large dragons circle the decimated body of the dead Celestial when the rest of the Fourth Host realizes that the Chip & Dale led animals below them truly are their only foes. With this moment of clarity the rest of The Fourth Host flies down and, well............. do I really need to finish this piece of crap.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches are Chip & Dale, Black Dragon #5-7, 9, & 11-14, Green Dragon #13-18, Krayt Dragon #1 & 2, Velociraptor #1-15, Cheer Bear, White Dragon #9-12, & 18-19, & Warg Rider & Warg #9.
Well, here we go the match I've been looking forward to writing since I put the schedule together last year. The Horsemen vs. The Backyardigans in a setting that favors neither of them. A medium point week with 2 of the top FFL organizations. That is until I found out the characters I'd be writing............ Bummer....... Well, anyways..... Let's get this piece of crap over with. Exodus uses his immense cosmic powers to look into the future and see who B-3 would be starting. After he sees this he refuses to actually show up to the match. Adm. Ozzell orders the Celestials to appear but he has them come out of hyper space to close and ruins their element of surprise. This would have been a great time to insert a great "He's as clumsy as he is stupid" line by Vader, but B-3 didn't bother to start Vader this week, so I guess I can't. Adm. Ozzell sees what his team is up against and thinks that it must be a trap of some sort so he orders Gammenon to gather him up and take him to safety. He then orders all of The Celestials to fall back so they are not caught up in the potential trap that the feared B-3 squad must be throwing at them. The entire Fourth Host except for Jemiah the Analyzer fly up to the top of the atmosphere while Jemiah stands in the center of Saskatoon and takes on their opponents. As he is surrounded by the dragons and animals, most of whom are cold-blooded so they are barely moving; Jemiah is able to kill all 15 raptors & both Krayt Dragons. He is amazingly bombarded by the attacks of the ice blowing White Dragons and The Acid blowing Black Dragons and is shockingly enough destroyed by these powerful mythical creatures. What is left of the large dragons circle the decimated body of the dead Celestial when the rest of the Fourth Host realizes that the Chip & Dale led animals below them truly are their only foes. With this moment of clarity the rest of The Fourth Host flies down and, well............. do I really need to finish this piece of crap.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
The Untouchables are Megatron, The Constructicons: Scrapper, Scavenger, Mixmaster, Long Haul, Hook, & Bonecrusher, The Fantastic Four: Franklin Richards, Human Torch, The Thing, & She-Hulk, Capt. Cold, Sodom Yat, (Red Lantern) Guy Gardner, Bodikka, Romat Ru, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull, She-Ra w/ Swift Wind, Madam Razz, & Broom, maestro, Kimura, Eclipso, Scourge, Sweep #1 & 2, & Merlin.
Alice's Wonder Team is The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, True Q, The Q Representative, Lady Q, q, & Quinn, The Spectre, Hyperion, The Anti-Monitor, Alice Abernathy (w/ Mandalorian Armor & 2 green lightsabers), Alice Clone #1-3 (w/ a blue, red, & green lightsaber), & Jill Valentine (w/ a red lightsaber).
The battle between The Q Continuum and Franklin Richards, Merlin, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull, & Madam Razz cannot truly be explained because it did not really even take place on this plane of existence. Franklin Richards battled mentally with the Q’s while his teammates used their various forms of magic to ward off incoming attacks to the physical form that contains Franklin’s immense powers. In the end all involved were wiped from existence from the cosmic strain put on them. I have no viable explanation as t why Eclipso & Kimura were killed in the mental melee as well. Megatron orders his Constructicons to merge to form Devastator, while Sodom Yat, Maestro, & Bodikka move against The Spectre. It appears as though The Spectre merely winks to cause the disintegration of Bodikka. Sodom Yat then unleashes every bit of green energy he can muster at The Spectre. It seems as though The Spectre is easily repelling these attacks, but it is proven that he is being affected by it more than he is showing when Maestro uses his incalculable strength to rip The Spectre’s head clean off while he is busy warding off the green energy attacks. The massive Devastator sends stress marks thru the icy ground beneath the battle as he walks yet Anti-Monitor and Hyperion are still able to not only break apart the gestalt but also render the sparks of all 6 Constructicons null with their earth shattering attacks. The Anti-Monitor then attacks Maestro and over-powers the aged Hulk with ease, while Hyperion mows right thru the freezing attacks of Capt. Cold. Hyperion then blasts right thru the chest of the much larger Sweep #2 before he is overpowered by the combined strength of She-Hulk and Thing who are able to break his neck after they inflict about a half dozen punches that sent shockwaves that haven’t been felt in these parts since the trading of Tim Cheveldae by Bryan Murr(enth)ay. The Anti-Monitor easily dispatches the other Sweep as well as their captain Scourge. He then puts a massive boot thru the face of the weakened Sodom Yat and kills Romat Ru before She-Ra and Guy Gardner double team him. She-Ra & Swift Wind sacrifice themselves as She-Ra rushes in with her Etherian sword drawn, so Guy Gardner can use a green energy lance and a red energy axe to run The Anti-Monitor thru. Guy Gardner must stay attached as The Anti-Monitor finally dies which kills him in the process, but he at least rids his team of the tremendous threat that The Anti-Monitor posed. Jill Valentine delivers a kick that breaks Broom in half, but she is then blown apart by a blast from Megatron. The 3 Alice Clones despite some B.A. flips and such are then taken out by the 3 remaining members of The makeshift Fantastic Four, but She-Hulk and Human Torch do not survive the fight either. Alice Abernathy in all of her heavily weaponed glory rushes against The Thing; but as she is Megatron transforms into his gun form and lands in the arms of his last remaining teammate. The Thing pulls the trigger on the huge gun and sees the namesake of The Wonder Team blown apart just before he notices the 2 lightsabers protruding thru his chest. Megatron transforms into his robot form ready to continue the battle when he realizes that he is the only character still alive.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Alice's Wonder Team is The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, True Q, The Q Representative, Lady Q, q, & Quinn, The Spectre, Hyperion, The Anti-Monitor, Alice Abernathy (w/ Mandalorian Armor & 2 green lightsabers), Alice Clone #1-3 (w/ a blue, red, & green lightsaber), & Jill Valentine (w/ a red lightsaber).
The battle between The Q Continuum and Franklin Richards, Merlin, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull, & Madam Razz cannot truly be explained because it did not really even take place on this plane of existence. Franklin Richards battled mentally with the Q’s while his teammates used their various forms of magic to ward off incoming attacks to the physical form that contains Franklin’s immense powers. In the end all involved were wiped from existence from the cosmic strain put on them. I have no viable explanation as t why Eclipso & Kimura were killed in the mental melee as well. Megatron orders his Constructicons to merge to form Devastator, while Sodom Yat, Maestro, & Bodikka move against The Spectre. It appears as though The Spectre merely winks to cause the disintegration of Bodikka. Sodom Yat then unleashes every bit of green energy he can muster at The Spectre. It seems as though The Spectre is easily repelling these attacks, but it is proven that he is being affected by it more than he is showing when Maestro uses his incalculable strength to rip The Spectre’s head clean off while he is busy warding off the green energy attacks. The massive Devastator sends stress marks thru the icy ground beneath the battle as he walks yet Anti-Monitor and Hyperion are still able to not only break apart the gestalt but also render the sparks of all 6 Constructicons null with their earth shattering attacks. The Anti-Monitor then attacks Maestro and over-powers the aged Hulk with ease, while Hyperion mows right thru the freezing attacks of Capt. Cold. Hyperion then blasts right thru the chest of the much larger Sweep #2 before he is overpowered by the combined strength of She-Hulk and Thing who are able to break his neck after they inflict about a half dozen punches that sent shockwaves that haven’t been felt in these parts since the trading of Tim Cheveldae by Bryan Murr(enth)ay. The Anti-Monitor easily dispatches the other Sweep as well as their captain Scourge. He then puts a massive boot thru the face of the weakened Sodom Yat and kills Romat Ru before She-Ra and Guy Gardner double team him. She-Ra & Swift Wind sacrifice themselves as She-Ra rushes in with her Etherian sword drawn, so Guy Gardner can use a green energy lance and a red energy axe to run The Anti-Monitor thru. Guy Gardner must stay attached as The Anti-Monitor finally dies which kills him in the process, but he at least rids his team of the tremendous threat that The Anti-Monitor posed. Jill Valentine delivers a kick that breaks Broom in half, but she is then blown apart by a blast from Megatron. The 3 Alice Clones despite some B.A. flips and such are then taken out by the 3 remaining members of The makeshift Fantastic Four, but She-Hulk and Human Torch do not survive the fight either. Alice Abernathy in all of her heavily weaponed glory rushes against The Thing; but as she is Megatron transforms into his gun form and lands in the arms of his last remaining teammate. The Thing pulls the trigger on the huge gun and sees the namesake of The Wonder Team blown apart just before he notices the 2 lightsabers protruding thru his chest. Megatron transforms into his robot form ready to continue the battle when he realizes that he is the only character still alive.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Transfoamers Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Transfoamers are Topspin, Twintwist, Dark Side Adept #7-12, Jaws, Nazgul #8, Black Dragon #10, Gold Dragon #13, Krayt Dragon #3, Dragon #7 & 8, Purple Dragon #15-20, Ice Man, Slider in a Y-Wing, & Hammer Bros. #17-22.
The Syracuse Valley is Star Fox McLeod (w/ Darth Maul's lightsaber) in an Arwing, James McLeod in an Arwing, Peppy Hare in an Arwing, Bucky O'Hare (w/ a green lightsaber) in an Arwing, Deadeye Duck (w/ a red lightsaber), Bruiser, Willy Duwitt (w/ a halberd), Pilot Jenny, AFC Blinkie (w/ a red lightsaber), Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue lightsaber) & Kister in Ratts Tyrelle's podracer, Wald, Venus Demilo, Xenomorph #96-100, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-6, Scooter, Splinter, Sub-zero, Mr. Game & Watch (w/ a Heat Axe), Wonder Boy (w/ an Atlas), Human Smoke, Soundblaster w/ Zombie Rumble, (movie) Ravage, & Fast Forward, (movie) Wheelie, The Decepticon Spy Bug, & Decepticon #1, Shang Tsung, Nocturne, Baby Nightcrawler, Rayne, Robocop, & Kree Soldier #4-16.
Star Fox uses his on-board Arwing communicator to talk with Splinter on what was once the shell-shaped com of his son Leonardo. McLeod and Splinter are well aware of their team’s strengths and their weaknesses having been apart of The Valley since day 1. Star Fox says: “Well Splinter, if The Foamers started Voltron, we could be in some major trouble”. Splinter responds: “I agree Fox. I have no illusions about our team’s inability to defend against cosmic threats or against size that we can’t match. The Fallen could be a major problem for us as well”. The wisdom of these 2 FFL veterans will go untested though as The Transfoamers decided not to start many of their heavy hitters against this team that so far has had to deal with 3 years of seeing only one kind of luck: Bad Luck. This could change today though. Star Fox leads not only his foursome of Arwings, but the entire Valley squad from the air. He attempts to lay out a perfectly executed plan of attack, but The Valley soon finds out that it is hard to predict the moves of a team that is made up primarily of large dragons and such. Krayt Dragon #3 bursts thru the snowy tundra and shows the Giant Hammer Bros. the true meaning of the word giant as it crushes all 6 of them before it’s cold blooded body freezes up in the cold and is laid to waste by the blasts of the 4 Arwings. Jaws sneaks up behind Smoke and bites his neck Dracula-style. The Bond Villain then squares off against Rayne and comes out on top of that battle as well. Jaws does not do quite as well against Sub-Zero though. Sub-Zero is right at home in the freezing setting and his powers seem extra potent as he freezes Jaws and then cracks him into thousands of pieces with his fist. Assistant Coaches Chip and The Quintasson Inquisitor did an excellent job of converting The Transfoamers Y-Wing into a 2 man ship that no longer requires a droid. Ice Man and Slider are able to engage The Arwings without even being noticed. They use the Y-Wing’s superior weaponry to blast both Peppy Hare and James McLeod out of the air, but Star Fox avenges his Dad and his Dad’s best friend when he takes out The Ice-Man with a concentrated laser blast from his Arwing. Wald cheers on Anakin and Kister as they mow thru 3 of the 6 Hammer Bros. with their podracer, but the little Rodian is eaten by Gold Dragon #13 before Anakin and Kister are coated with acid from the flying Black Dragon. Deadeye Duck, AFC Blinkie, & Willy Duwitt use their weapons to take out the other 3 Hammer Bros. while Bruiser, Pilot Jenny, Decepticon #1, Wheelie, & the Spy Bug are wiped out by the purple dragons. The purple dragons then move against Soundblaster, but Soundblaster ejects Zombie Rumble, Ravage, & Fast Forward to aid him. Fast Forward moves with blinding speed to take out Purple Dragon #17 & 18, but he is then coated with fire by the other dragons. Soundblaster takes out Purple Dragon #20 before he is ripped apart by the other 3 but Zombie Rumble and Ravage manage to rip apart the rest of the dragons leaving a disgusting mess of dragon flesh strewn across the snow. The Xenomorphs viciously rip apart Gold Dragon #13, but the 6 Dark Side Adepts use their lightsaber/blaster combo attacks to go up against the aliens. Dark Side Adept #9-11 are killed by the Xenomorph’s acid blood, but all 6 aliens die in the attack (Adept #7 killed Xenomorph #96 (this is a graveyard note for Ryan)). Splinter, Shang Tsung, Nocturne, Wonder Boy, & Mr. Game & Watch quickly dispose of the other 3 Dark Side Adepts. The Kree Soldiers band together to attack Nazgul #8, but none of them are able to break thru the defenses of The slow moving Ringwraith. The Nazgul manages to wipe out every one of The Kree; but Robocop is able to kill the Nazgul with a good old fashioned Motor City beat down (he is from Detroit after all). Dragon #7 rips Venus Demilo in half, but is then cut down by Bucky O’Hare’s Arwing, while the same happens to Dragon #8 via Star Fox in his Arwing. Black Dragon #10 coats Nocturne in acid before she can teleport away, but Wonder Boy and Mr. Game & Watch use their Heat Axe and Atlas to cast Blaze 2 & 3 on the dragon and wipe him out. Topspin and Twintwist blast Bucky O’Hare out of the sky and then rip apart Scooter with their bare hands. The 2 Autobots stand triumphant for a moment, but they then find themselves surrounded by what is left of The Syracuse Valley. Star Fox orders an all out attack on the 2 Autobots, who are able to take out Willy Duwitt, AFC Blinkie, & Shang Tsung in their last stand.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!
The Syracuse Valley is Star Fox McLeod (w/ Darth Maul's lightsaber) in an Arwing, James McLeod in an Arwing, Peppy Hare in an Arwing, Bucky O'Hare (w/ a green lightsaber) in an Arwing, Deadeye Duck (w/ a red lightsaber), Bruiser, Willy Duwitt (w/ a halberd), Pilot Jenny, AFC Blinkie (w/ a red lightsaber), Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue lightsaber) & Kister in Ratts Tyrelle's podracer, Wald, Venus Demilo, Xenomorph #96-100, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-6, Scooter, Splinter, Sub-zero, Mr. Game & Watch (w/ a Heat Axe), Wonder Boy (w/ an Atlas), Human Smoke, Soundblaster w/ Zombie Rumble, (movie) Ravage, & Fast Forward, (movie) Wheelie, The Decepticon Spy Bug, & Decepticon #1, Shang Tsung, Nocturne, Baby Nightcrawler, Rayne, Robocop, & Kree Soldier #4-16.
Star Fox uses his on-board Arwing communicator to talk with Splinter on what was once the shell-shaped com of his son Leonardo. McLeod and Splinter are well aware of their team’s strengths and their weaknesses having been apart of The Valley since day 1. Star Fox says: “Well Splinter, if The Foamers started Voltron, we could be in some major trouble”. Splinter responds: “I agree Fox. I have no illusions about our team’s inability to defend against cosmic threats or against size that we can’t match. The Fallen could be a major problem for us as well”. The wisdom of these 2 FFL veterans will go untested though as The Transfoamers decided not to start many of their heavy hitters against this team that so far has had to deal with 3 years of seeing only one kind of luck: Bad Luck. This could change today though. Star Fox leads not only his foursome of Arwings, but the entire Valley squad from the air. He attempts to lay out a perfectly executed plan of attack, but The Valley soon finds out that it is hard to predict the moves of a team that is made up primarily of large dragons and such. Krayt Dragon #3 bursts thru the snowy tundra and shows the Giant Hammer Bros. the true meaning of the word giant as it crushes all 6 of them before it’s cold blooded body freezes up in the cold and is laid to waste by the blasts of the 4 Arwings. Jaws sneaks up behind Smoke and bites his neck Dracula-style. The Bond Villain then squares off against Rayne and comes out on top of that battle as well. Jaws does not do quite as well against Sub-Zero though. Sub-Zero is right at home in the freezing setting and his powers seem extra potent as he freezes Jaws and then cracks him into thousands of pieces with his fist. Assistant Coaches Chip and The Quintasson Inquisitor did an excellent job of converting The Transfoamers Y-Wing into a 2 man ship that no longer requires a droid. Ice Man and Slider are able to engage The Arwings without even being noticed. They use the Y-Wing’s superior weaponry to blast both Peppy Hare and James McLeod out of the air, but Star Fox avenges his Dad and his Dad’s best friend when he takes out The Ice-Man with a concentrated laser blast from his Arwing. Wald cheers on Anakin and Kister as they mow thru 3 of the 6 Hammer Bros. with their podracer, but the little Rodian is eaten by Gold Dragon #13 before Anakin and Kister are coated with acid from the flying Black Dragon. Deadeye Duck, AFC Blinkie, & Willy Duwitt use their weapons to take out the other 3 Hammer Bros. while Bruiser, Pilot Jenny, Decepticon #1, Wheelie, & the Spy Bug are wiped out by the purple dragons. The purple dragons then move against Soundblaster, but Soundblaster ejects Zombie Rumble, Ravage, & Fast Forward to aid him. Fast Forward moves with blinding speed to take out Purple Dragon #17 & 18, but he is then coated with fire by the other dragons. Soundblaster takes out Purple Dragon #20 before he is ripped apart by the other 3 but Zombie Rumble and Ravage manage to rip apart the rest of the dragons leaving a disgusting mess of dragon flesh strewn across the snow. The Xenomorphs viciously rip apart Gold Dragon #13, but the 6 Dark Side Adepts use their lightsaber/blaster combo attacks to go up against the aliens. Dark Side Adept #9-11 are killed by the Xenomorph’s acid blood, but all 6 aliens die in the attack (Adept #7 killed Xenomorph #96 (this is a graveyard note for Ryan)). Splinter, Shang Tsung, Nocturne, Wonder Boy, & Mr. Game & Watch quickly dispose of the other 3 Dark Side Adepts. The Kree Soldiers band together to attack Nazgul #8, but none of them are able to break thru the defenses of The slow moving Ringwraith. The Nazgul manages to wipe out every one of The Kree; but Robocop is able to kill the Nazgul with a good old fashioned Motor City beat down (he is from Detroit after all). Dragon #7 rips Venus Demilo in half, but is then cut down by Bucky O’Hare’s Arwing, while the same happens to Dragon #8 via Star Fox in his Arwing. Black Dragon #10 coats Nocturne in acid before she can teleport away, but Wonder Boy and Mr. Game & Watch use their Heat Axe and Atlas to cast Blaze 2 & 3 on the dragon and wipe him out. Topspin and Twintwist blast Bucky O’Hare out of the sky and then rip apart Scooter with their bare hands. The 2 Autobots stand triumphant for a moment, but they then find themselves surrounded by what is left of The Syracuse Valley. Star Fox orders an all out attack on the 2 Autobots, who are able to take out Willy Duwitt, AFC Blinkie, & Shang Tsung in their last stand.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!
Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. George Washington's Slaves
(Washed-up) Pop-Superstar & (1 term) President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is Dave Bowman: The Green Lantern Starchild, Numnius, Albus Dumbledore, Agamemnon (w/ a red lantern ring), Juno, Bizarro Superman, The Herculoids: Zandar, Tarra, Dorno, Zok, Igoo, Tundro, Gloop, & Gleep, Tlaloc, Rodimus Prime, Black Adam, Parallax, Iorek Byninson, (movie)Devastator: Demolisher, Mixmaster, Long Haul, Rampage, Scavenger, High Tower, & Scrapper, Dex-tar, Zombie Darkseid, Bail Organa in an Ornithopter, & Ahmed Best.
George Washington's Slaves are Amazo, Cade Skywalker, Connor McLeod, Santa Claus (w/ a green lightsaber) & Corbin Dallas (w/ a blue lightsaber) w/ Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, Dare the Terminator, Darth Plaguis (w/ a red lantern ring), Jason Bourne, Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, Loki, Mr. Miracle, Simon Phoenix, Doppleganger, B'dg, Zillius Zox, Kyle Catarn, Sly Moore, Boga, Buzz-Saw, Piecemeal, Porkins & R2-G1 in an X-Wing, & Dack & R2-G2 in an X-Wing.
Agamemnon lands on the icy Saskatoon ground and thinks to himself that this world is ripe for a takeover. He is already having thoughts of thousands of hethrigir cowering under his giant metal legs just waiting to do his bidding. He finds it strangely fitting that the team he is about to fight already refers to themselves as Slaves. He expresses these thoughts to his mate Juno, who informs him that the match they are about to partake in is a deathmatch and that the enslavement of the other team is not an option. “In order for us to claim victory my companion, we must destroy the other team completely” Juno says to Agamemnon. Agamemnon responds simply with: “Hmm, pity”. If Agamemnon still had a mouth it would surely be smiling as he begins his march toward the Slaves. A few seconds before the shrapnel starts flying he thinks to himself: “Oh well, I guess I’ll have to find some other lesser being to build the statues of me”. Dave Bowman & Numnius fly by Agamemnon & Juno and communicate with them thru some unknown means that they are going to transport to the other side of the fight where they can attack the Slaves from the rear. Numnius mentally says to Juno that they will see them in the middle of the battlefield. Juno replies out loud: “We’ll be waiting for you”. Santa & Corbin are in the sleigh flying high above the icy landscape with Porkins & Dack in their respective X-Wings following in standard attack formation. While down on the ground The Slaves are not as clueless to The Commandos plan as Bowman thinks. They may be surrounded, but they are prepared to take what is destined to be a war of attrition right to the heart of The Commandos, just like the health care bill was stopped by the very Constitution that Washington fought to insure the writing of (Oh, wait... bad example). As the Commandos close in from both sides The Slaves rely on patience. They close in on their protected ground and split their forces in 2. Cade Skywalker volunteers to turn around and face the rear attack while Darth Plaguis holds his ground against the frontal assault. Agamemnon is leading the Commandos larger fighters Juno, The Herculoids, Tlaloc, Rodimus, & the freshly merged Devastator. Bowman on the other hand is leading a crew who may not have the size, but what they lack in mass they surely make up in power. Numnius (she has taken the form of a regular size human today), Dumbledore, Bizarro, Parallax, Iorek, Dex-tar, & Zombie Darkseid are the Commandos coming from behind. Ahmed Best is riding shotgun along with Bail Organa in the Ornithopter which right off the bat attempts to engage Santa in a dogfight. Bail isn’t super familiar with the controls of the Ornithopter, but he takes to them pretty quickly. Ahmed on the other hand was already awesome at sitting in a chair and doing noting. Bail engages the sleigh, but Santa pulls some mad loopy-ti-loop nonsense that practically knocks the hair gel off of Bail & Ahmed’s domes. Santa then allows himself to be put right in the crosshairs of Organa’s side mounted Maula pistols, but he doesn’t realize the trap that he has just been put into. Corbin turns to his homeboy Kringle and says: “Hey St. Nick, what was it that these guys asked for for Christmas again”? Santa replies: “Well, Corbin I’d have to check my list, but I do believe it was some advanced missiles, and they‘ve been very good boys this year”. Just then Santa’s 2 X-Wing wing men blast Bail’s Ornithopter out of the air, before Organa and Best can take the shot. Corbin’s newly forming gut starts to jiggle like a bowl of jelly as he looks at Santa and says: “Hahaaa, those Christmas jokes never get old Santa”. The X-Wings file back in to formation and they get back up to attack speed when Devastator pops out of the ice and bursts into their flight path. Santa takes evasive action and is able to fly under the arm pit of Devastator. Corbin turns his head to see if their rebel buddies made it thru, but he instead sees Devastator knocking the 2 X-Wings out of the air. “Dammit” Santa exclaims. “What a waste of X-Wings. We got Wedge, the best pilot in the damn league sitting on the bench and Washington sends out these 2 clowns to fly behind me”. Corbin shakes his head and adds: “Not to mention Kyle Catarn down on the ground holding his 9 incher and me up here freezin my sack off” (referring of course to Kyle Catarn’s standard sized 9 inch lightsaber and the bag of goodies riding in the sleigh behind them (you perverts)). Cade decides that he is tired of standing around and leads Amazo, Loki, B’dg, Zillius Zox, & Sly Moore against Bowman’s rear attack. Bowman orders his squad to stay together, but with that same impulsive attitude she had in Sister Act, Numnius goes in for the kill. Sly Moore tries to use her mind manipulating abilities to gain an upper hand, but Numnius completely obliterates her with her immense cosmic abilities. Loki appreciates the mischief in Numnius’ direct disobeyance of orders but he still uses his Asgardian magic to turn Numnius’ jumpsuit into a nun’s habit and make her sing a rousing rendition of “My God” before sending her to Tartarus (yes, I know that’s the Hell from Greek Mythology, not Norse Mythology, but you can just keep that kind of crap to yourself right now cause I’m just not in the mood). On the other front Agamemnon is dying to use his new red power ring, and use it he does. Agamemnon is not really changing anything about his attack style just because he has this new ring, but it just makes his arsenal of weaponry that much more impressive now that everything he shoots has a rage driven red aura surrounding it. the protective red force field that he has placed around both himself and Juno is pretty impressive as well. Tlaloc, who was once their Titan leader doesn’t even seem to mind playing second fiddle to supposed descendant of the Grecian Prince. The 3 titans together lay waste to Buzz-saw, Piecemeal, Mr. Miracle, & Simon Phoenix (ching-chong-ching) as if they were the lowliest of defenseless hethrigir. Kyle Catarn is riding on Boga with Doppleganger and Jason Bourne running behind him when he attacks the enormous Devastator. As Devastator fights back against his smaller opponents the ice underneath him comes crashing apart which causes the teams on both sides to close in towards the center of the battle. A huge close quarters melee ensues where all involved are surrounded by both friend and foe. Kyle Catarn and Boga move with such speed that Devastator cannot get a hit on the them. Kyle uses his lightsaber to cut away at the huge Decepticon in the perfect places while Bourne and Doppleganger make their moves against the enormous gestalt as well. Devastator grabs a hold of the 6 armed Doppleganger and squeezes the life out of him, but while he is doing this Jason Bourne throws the bomb he has just wired together into the mouth of Devastator and then unloads his .45 into the Transformer’s chest right where Catarn had opened it up with his lightsaber. These perfectly executed plan works to extinguish the spark of Devastator. Rodimus Prime uses his arm lasers to blast Boga out from underneath Catarn, but the Jedi leaps off of Boga and keeps moving. Jason Bourne jumps off of the collapsing Devastator and onto the back of Tlaloc. Bourne then attempts to punch a hole thru the brain of Tlaloc, but he finds out the hard way that Beckerman isn’t writing this match and that that is impossible. Tlaloc uses his expansive robot arms to fling the secret agent off of him and into the freezing water next to them. The much smaller Kyle Catarn is having a rough time battling with Rodimus Prime, when Juan Sanchez and Connor McLeod (who barely slowed down to take the heads off of Tarra & Dorno on the way) come to lend him a hand. Rodimus uses the tail pipes on his right arm to slice off the head of Lobos-Ramirez but Connor jumps in to avenge his former mentor. Connor still uses his katana in his right hand, while he wields his lightsaber with his left. McLeod jumps onto the back of Rodimus while Catarn is force pushing his legs out from under him. McLeod then uses his lightsaber to slice off the head of Rodimus. Agamemnon then uses a rage infused lasgun burst to ignite the spark of his own dying teammate Rodimus which blows both McLeod and Catarn to pieces. Amazo uses about a dozen different kick-a** powers to destroy Parallax and bring the world of Green Lantern back to normal, so Josh can start reading the comics again, but Black Adam and Bizarro then high five each other in mid-air with Amazo’s head in the center of their five-fingered dude salute. Considering that she has 9 deaths and all Dare the Terminator dared to be a cool character for once and put the smack down on Zandar before she squared off against Iorek Byninson. The large polar bear definitely had the advantage in this particular setting, but Dare ducked underneath his powerful arms and stuck her sword up underneath his neck, finding the kink in his armor and killing him. Dare then attacked Zombie Darkseid and then........ Alright seriously how much love did you guys expect for this character. Short story shorter: Zombie Darkseid won...Fin... Zombie Darkseid then takes flight and catches Rudolph in the neck. The zombie leader of Apokolips then begins feasting on some mad venison. Ripping thru Santa’s reindeer as if he were Ted Nugent on steroids. He kills all but Comet & Cupid and also blasts thru the sleigh with some poorly aimed Omega Beams. Santa looks at Corbin kind of like what’s his name from Chips did to the young dude in the Chips reunion episode right before they jumped that gnarly ramp with their Harleys. Santa says: “You know it Bro-Ham” to Corbin as they jump onto the backs of Comet and Cupid before the sleigh falls out of the sky. Santa and Corbin then high five each other like the dudes from Army of Two before they pull out their lightsabers and slice up Zombie Darkseid like they were cutting thru Christmas paper. Dumbledore shows no fear as he casts a killer spell on Zillius Zox which reduces him to dead guy status, but the duo of Darth Plaguis and Cade Skywalker prove a little more difficult for the wizard. Dumbledore holds them off for a while when he is joined by Bizarro. Bizarro gets ripped apart by Darth Plaguis whose Red lightsaber now appears as if it is about 10 feet long due to his enhanced rage powers of the red lantern ring. Dumbledore works his magic (pardon the pun) on Cade to destroy him, but is left in such a stat of exhaustion from the feat that Plaguis is able to dispose of the master wizard with ease. Plaguis then uses his red ring aided Sith Lightning to completely disintegrate both Gloop and Gleep, but his reign of terror ends abruptly when Black Adam screams “Shazam” at him to blow him to pieces. Bowman lands next to Agamemnon to go over their situation, when they see B’dg coming in for the attack. The Starchild and the Titan stand at the ready but before they can do anything Tundro knocks the little green lantern out of the air with one his coal balls and Igoo finishes him off with a couple of massive rock handed punches. Loki casts a spell with all of The Asgardian magic he can muster that rips the Cymek body of Juno apart and then kills her human brain, but this serves to enrage Agamemnon even further. Agamemnon uses his rage fueled powers to light up Loki with weaponry and red energy to destroy him. Santa on Comet and Corbin on Cupid make their final push against The Commandos, but Zok manages to use his tail to catch both of the Reindeer with a lightning blast. Santa manages to use some Christmas magic to insure a safe landing for himself and his bud, but once they are down on the ground they find themselves toe-to-toe with The Starchild. Bowman uses his ridonkulous cosmic powers to wipe out Ol’ St. Nick and his new friend, killing off the last of The Slaves and getting a little revenge for last year’s N.L. Finals. All the Slaves appear to be dead, yet Bourne’s body never was found (cue the Moby song for the end credits).
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!
George Washington's Slaves are Amazo, Cade Skywalker, Connor McLeod, Santa Claus (w/ a green lightsaber) & Corbin Dallas (w/ a blue lightsaber) w/ Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, Dare the Terminator, Darth Plaguis (w/ a red lantern ring), Jason Bourne, Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, Loki, Mr. Miracle, Simon Phoenix, Doppleganger, B'dg, Zillius Zox, Kyle Catarn, Sly Moore, Boga, Buzz-Saw, Piecemeal, Porkins & R2-G1 in an X-Wing, & Dack & R2-G2 in an X-Wing.
Agamemnon lands on the icy Saskatoon ground and thinks to himself that this world is ripe for a takeover. He is already having thoughts of thousands of hethrigir cowering under his giant metal legs just waiting to do his bidding. He finds it strangely fitting that the team he is about to fight already refers to themselves as Slaves. He expresses these thoughts to his mate Juno, who informs him that the match they are about to partake in is a deathmatch and that the enslavement of the other team is not an option. “In order for us to claim victory my companion, we must destroy the other team completely” Juno says to Agamemnon. Agamemnon responds simply with: “Hmm, pity”. If Agamemnon still had a mouth it would surely be smiling as he begins his march toward the Slaves. A few seconds before the shrapnel starts flying he thinks to himself: “Oh well, I guess I’ll have to find some other lesser being to build the statues of me”. Dave Bowman & Numnius fly by Agamemnon & Juno and communicate with them thru some unknown means that they are going to transport to the other side of the fight where they can attack the Slaves from the rear. Numnius mentally says to Juno that they will see them in the middle of the battlefield. Juno replies out loud: “We’ll be waiting for you”. Santa & Corbin are in the sleigh flying high above the icy landscape with Porkins & Dack in their respective X-Wings following in standard attack formation. While down on the ground The Slaves are not as clueless to The Commandos plan as Bowman thinks. They may be surrounded, but they are prepared to take what is destined to be a war of attrition right to the heart of The Commandos, just like the health care bill was stopped by the very Constitution that Washington fought to insure the writing of (Oh, wait... bad example). As the Commandos close in from both sides The Slaves rely on patience. They close in on their protected ground and split their forces in 2. Cade Skywalker volunteers to turn around and face the rear attack while Darth Plaguis holds his ground against the frontal assault. Agamemnon is leading the Commandos larger fighters Juno, The Herculoids, Tlaloc, Rodimus, & the freshly merged Devastator. Bowman on the other hand is leading a crew who may not have the size, but what they lack in mass they surely make up in power. Numnius (she has taken the form of a regular size human today), Dumbledore, Bizarro, Parallax, Iorek, Dex-tar, & Zombie Darkseid are the Commandos coming from behind. Ahmed Best is riding shotgun along with Bail Organa in the Ornithopter which right off the bat attempts to engage Santa in a dogfight. Bail isn’t super familiar with the controls of the Ornithopter, but he takes to them pretty quickly. Ahmed on the other hand was already awesome at sitting in a chair and doing noting. Bail engages the sleigh, but Santa pulls some mad loopy-ti-loop nonsense that practically knocks the hair gel off of Bail & Ahmed’s domes. Santa then allows himself to be put right in the crosshairs of Organa’s side mounted Maula pistols, but he doesn’t realize the trap that he has just been put into. Corbin turns to his homeboy Kringle and says: “Hey St. Nick, what was it that these guys asked for for Christmas again”? Santa replies: “Well, Corbin I’d have to check my list, but I do believe it was some advanced missiles, and they‘ve been very good boys this year”. Just then Santa’s 2 X-Wing wing men blast Bail’s Ornithopter out of the air, before Organa and Best can take the shot. Corbin’s newly forming gut starts to jiggle like a bowl of jelly as he looks at Santa and says: “Hahaaa, those Christmas jokes never get old Santa”. The X-Wings file back in to formation and they get back up to attack speed when Devastator pops out of the ice and bursts into their flight path. Santa takes evasive action and is able to fly under the arm pit of Devastator. Corbin turns his head to see if their rebel buddies made it thru, but he instead sees Devastator knocking the 2 X-Wings out of the air. “Dammit” Santa exclaims. “What a waste of X-Wings. We got Wedge, the best pilot in the damn league sitting on the bench and Washington sends out these 2 clowns to fly behind me”. Corbin shakes his head and adds: “Not to mention Kyle Catarn down on the ground holding his 9 incher and me up here freezin my sack off” (referring of course to Kyle Catarn’s standard sized 9 inch lightsaber and the bag of goodies riding in the sleigh behind them (you perverts)). Cade decides that he is tired of standing around and leads Amazo, Loki, B’dg, Zillius Zox, & Sly Moore against Bowman’s rear attack. Bowman orders his squad to stay together, but with that same impulsive attitude she had in Sister Act, Numnius goes in for the kill. Sly Moore tries to use her mind manipulating abilities to gain an upper hand, but Numnius completely obliterates her with her immense cosmic abilities. Loki appreciates the mischief in Numnius’ direct disobeyance of orders but he still uses his Asgardian magic to turn Numnius’ jumpsuit into a nun’s habit and make her sing a rousing rendition of “My God” before sending her to Tartarus (yes, I know that’s the Hell from Greek Mythology, not Norse Mythology, but you can just keep that kind of crap to yourself right now cause I’m just not in the mood). On the other front Agamemnon is dying to use his new red power ring, and use it he does. Agamemnon is not really changing anything about his attack style just because he has this new ring, but it just makes his arsenal of weaponry that much more impressive now that everything he shoots has a rage driven red aura surrounding it. the protective red force field that he has placed around both himself and Juno is pretty impressive as well. Tlaloc, who was once their Titan leader doesn’t even seem to mind playing second fiddle to supposed descendant of the Grecian Prince. The 3 titans together lay waste to Buzz-saw, Piecemeal, Mr. Miracle, & Simon Phoenix (ching-chong-ching) as if they were the lowliest of defenseless hethrigir. Kyle Catarn is riding on Boga with Doppleganger and Jason Bourne running behind him when he attacks the enormous Devastator. As Devastator fights back against his smaller opponents the ice underneath him comes crashing apart which causes the teams on both sides to close in towards the center of the battle. A huge close quarters melee ensues where all involved are surrounded by both friend and foe. Kyle Catarn and Boga move with such speed that Devastator cannot get a hit on the them. Kyle uses his lightsaber to cut away at the huge Decepticon in the perfect places while Bourne and Doppleganger make their moves against the enormous gestalt as well. Devastator grabs a hold of the 6 armed Doppleganger and squeezes the life out of him, but while he is doing this Jason Bourne throws the bomb he has just wired together into the mouth of Devastator and then unloads his .45 into the Transformer’s chest right where Catarn had opened it up with his lightsaber. These perfectly executed plan works to extinguish the spark of Devastator. Rodimus Prime uses his arm lasers to blast Boga out from underneath Catarn, but the Jedi leaps off of Boga and keeps moving. Jason Bourne jumps off of the collapsing Devastator and onto the back of Tlaloc. Bourne then attempts to punch a hole thru the brain of Tlaloc, but he finds out the hard way that Beckerman isn’t writing this match and that that is impossible. Tlaloc uses his expansive robot arms to fling the secret agent off of him and into the freezing water next to them. The much smaller Kyle Catarn is having a rough time battling with Rodimus Prime, when Juan Sanchez and Connor McLeod (who barely slowed down to take the heads off of Tarra & Dorno on the way) come to lend him a hand. Rodimus uses the tail pipes on his right arm to slice off the head of Lobos-Ramirez but Connor jumps in to avenge his former mentor. Connor still uses his katana in his right hand, while he wields his lightsaber with his left. McLeod jumps onto the back of Rodimus while Catarn is force pushing his legs out from under him. McLeod then uses his lightsaber to slice off the head of Rodimus. Agamemnon then uses a rage infused lasgun burst to ignite the spark of his own dying teammate Rodimus which blows both McLeod and Catarn to pieces. Amazo uses about a dozen different kick-a** powers to destroy Parallax and bring the world of Green Lantern back to normal, so Josh can start reading the comics again, but Black Adam and Bizarro then high five each other in mid-air with Amazo’s head in the center of their five-fingered dude salute. Considering that she has 9 deaths and all Dare the Terminator dared to be a cool character for once and put the smack down on Zandar before she squared off against Iorek Byninson. The large polar bear definitely had the advantage in this particular setting, but Dare ducked underneath his powerful arms and stuck her sword up underneath his neck, finding the kink in his armor and killing him. Dare then attacked Zombie Darkseid and then........ Alright seriously how much love did you guys expect for this character. Short story shorter: Zombie Darkseid won...Fin... Zombie Darkseid then takes flight and catches Rudolph in the neck. The zombie leader of Apokolips then begins feasting on some mad venison. Ripping thru Santa’s reindeer as if he were Ted Nugent on steroids. He kills all but Comet & Cupid and also blasts thru the sleigh with some poorly aimed Omega Beams. Santa looks at Corbin kind of like what’s his name from Chips did to the young dude in the Chips reunion episode right before they jumped that gnarly ramp with their Harleys. Santa says: “You know it Bro-Ham” to Corbin as they jump onto the backs of Comet and Cupid before the sleigh falls out of the sky. Santa and Corbin then high five each other like the dudes from Army of Two before they pull out their lightsabers and slice up Zombie Darkseid like they were cutting thru Christmas paper. Dumbledore shows no fear as he casts a killer spell on Zillius Zox which reduces him to dead guy status, but the duo of Darth Plaguis and Cade Skywalker prove a little more difficult for the wizard. Dumbledore holds them off for a while when he is joined by Bizarro. Bizarro gets ripped apart by Darth Plaguis whose Red lightsaber now appears as if it is about 10 feet long due to his enhanced rage powers of the red lantern ring. Dumbledore works his magic (pardon the pun) on Cade to destroy him, but is left in such a stat of exhaustion from the feat that Plaguis is able to dispose of the master wizard with ease. Plaguis then uses his red ring aided Sith Lightning to completely disintegrate both Gloop and Gleep, but his reign of terror ends abruptly when Black Adam screams “Shazam” at him to blow him to pieces. Bowman lands next to Agamemnon to go over their situation, when they see B’dg coming in for the attack. The Starchild and the Titan stand at the ready but before they can do anything Tundro knocks the little green lantern out of the air with one his coal balls and Igoo finishes him off with a couple of massive rock handed punches. Loki casts a spell with all of The Asgardian magic he can muster that rips the Cymek body of Juno apart and then kills her human brain, but this serves to enrage Agamemnon even further. Agamemnon uses his rage fueled powers to light up Loki with weaponry and red energy to destroy him. Santa on Comet and Corbin on Cupid make their final push against The Commandos, but Zok manages to use his tail to catch both of the Reindeer with a lightning blast. Santa manages to use some Christmas magic to insure a safe landing for himself and his bud, but once they are down on the ground they find themselves toe-to-toe with The Starchild. Bowman uses his ridonkulous cosmic powers to wipe out Ol’ St. Nick and his new friend, killing off the last of The Slaves and getting a little revenge for last year’s N.L. Finals. All the Slaves appear to be dead, yet Bourne’s body never was found (cue the Moby song for the end credits).
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Season Three: Match 8: Hayley's Comets vs. The Right Wing
The Comets are Halk Karr, Trigon, The (unpromoted) Shining Force, The Thunderbolts: Songbird, Radioactive Man, Swordsmen, Mister X, headsman, & Ghost, The Marauders: Scalphunter, Arclight, Malice, Harpoon, Blockbuster, Prism, Riptide, Scrambler, & Vertigo, The Ninja Tribunal: Kon-Shisho, Judo-Shisho, Chikara-Shisho, & Hisomi-Shisho, The Pet Avenegers: Throg, Redwing, Hairball, & Ms. Lion, Cyber Force: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave, & Impact, The Loonatics: Ace Bunny, Lexi Bunny, Danger Duck, Slam Tasmanian, Tech E. Coyote, & Rev Runner, The Reavers: Donald Pierce, Pretty Boy, Bonebreaker, Skullbuster, Cole, macron, & Reece, Tech Net: Body Bag, China Doll, Elmo, Ferro, Ferro 2, Joyboy, Numbers, Ring Toss, Scatterbrain, Thug, Waxworks, yap, & Hard-boiled, 8-ball w/ 6 ball, 9 ball, & 11 ball, & Watchdog #1.
The Right Wing is Superwoman, The Volturi: Aro (w/ a red lightsaber), Caius, & Marcus, Jool Nooret, Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atalanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Perseus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II, Blue Lantern #2, Lyra The she-Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber), & Jacen Solo.
It was a cold Saskatoon night as Jacen Solo was walking over the ice. He was walking away from his team who were making a fire to stay warm. Jacen was heading towards the middle of the ice on his way to a meeting with an unlikely friend. The future Sith Lord was no fool as he came to this meeting well prepared for battle, though a battle is not what the meeting was about. Coming towards him in the distance was The Reaver leader Donald Pierce, who was wearing a heavy jacket as well. The two men talked for a couple of minutes and decided it was pointless to set up two camps tonight. Coming into week 8 both teams agreed it has been a very long season already and that a night of celebration before another bloodbath is well deserved. The two men shook hands and went back to go get their respective teams.
An hour later there was a roaring fire and everyone on both teams was having a grand old time. Silver Surfer was in a deep philosophical conversation with Trigon and Blue Lantern #2 was amazing the Loonatics with some pretty spectacular light shows. Both teams were so intertwined that it was strange to think they would be trying to kill each other in a very short period of time. The night went on without a hitch though and the next morning everyone woke up to the dreadful thought of fighting with the very people they were drinking with the night before.
Regardless of this dreadful thought, both teams packed up their things and went their separate ways. Though, not before Donald Pierce walked over to Jacen Solo to shake his hand one last time before battle.
Donald Pierce: “It was an honor to celebrate with your team last night Jacen."
Jacen Solo: “Well, thanks Don. I think it was a really great idea to do this. Everybody seems to have really needed it."
Donald Pierce: “I agree. One last thing before we begin."
Jacen Solo: “Oh yeah, what’s up?”
Donald Pierce: “I have a parting gift for you."
Jacen Solo: “Oh yeah, what is it?”
Donald Pierce: “This”
Donald proceeds to shake Jacen’s hand and send a current of electricity through his body that stuns him for a second. Jacen is taken aback by this but it is not long before he gain’s control of the current and holds it off long enough for him to take out his light saber and ignite it.
Jacen Solo: “Nice try, but I have a gift for you as well."
Jacen then plunges his light saber into the chest of Donald Pierce, killing the Reaver leader.
Jacen Solo: “Anyone else have anything they want to give me before we start this?”
Silver Surfer: “As you have already killed one of their members Jacen, I believe this match is already underway."
Jacen Solo: “Oh, you think! You’re a frickin genius domey."
The Surfer looks at him without even the slightest facial expression, but is thinking to himself how much of an a-hole his teammate is.
The match has now begun and both teams immediately seemed to forget about the great night they had together just a few short hours ago. The Right Wing knew they were outnumbered, but what they lacked in people they had in power. Blue Lantern #2 wasted no time as he trapped Tech-Net, The Reavers and Hard-Boiled in an energy bubble and before they could do anything about it, Kristin Wells aka Superwoman, teleported them all into the vacuum of space. As soon as the bubble hit the vacuum, it burst, killing everyone inside.
The members of the Volturi and Victoria rushed up on the Ninja Tribunal the 8-Ball gang and Watchdog #1. Victoria was able to kill 8-ball and 9-ball as she rushed up behind the two of them and sliced them both open with her red light saber. The four Ninja’s were now on the move, as they knew their opponents had already caused quite the commotion in this match. Marcus faced Kon-Shisho but was killed very quickly due to his now broken neck. Caius originally had the upper hand in a fight with 6-ball but quickly was over powered when both Judo-Shisho and Chikara-Shisho both came to their teammates aid. It was not long before Caius was run through by Chikara’s katana blade. All that was now left was Victoria and Aro, a two-some that the Tribunal was going to find very difficult to kill.
You see, all Aro needs to do is make contact with someone in order to read their thoughts. Which is why during their camp fire last night, Aro made sure to make his way over to every single person on the ‘ Comets’ team and make contact with them. The trick seems to have worked because between him and Victoria, the four ninja’s didn’t stand a chance against the two light saber-wielding vampires.
6-ball, 11-ball and the Watchdog managed to escape this fight, but not without walking directly into another one. Lyra the She Hulk and Jool Noret approached the “Comet” members and it was honestly kind of sad to watch. Jool immediately killed the Watchdog and She Hulk just beat the life out of the two ball’s, making even Jool a little queasy.
Jool Noret: “Jeez Lyra, I think they were dead a couple of minutes ago."
Lyra the She Hulk: “You never know, you always have to be sure."
Jool Noret: “Well unless you were afraid of blood soaked intestines attacking you, I think the coast is clear. I mean they have ceased to look like human beings for a while now."
Lyra the She Hulk: “They’re dead aren’t they? I play to win."
Jool Noret: “Well you definitely won this one."
Oh dang, I think I was watching the wrong part of this match, as I seemed to have missed some of the action. It looks like Superwoman and Halk Kar or Mon-El or Superman’s fake brother are locked in what seems like a stale mate. They both are just pounding on each other and it doesn’t seem to really be doing anything. Down below (Yes Superwoman and Halk Kar are fighting in the air), the Pantheon is taking on The Shining Force and The Marauders. This seems like it should be an unfair fight, but The Pantheon is holding their own against the two teams.
It really is a shame these Shining Force members are not promoted because I know how awesome they can be. Unfortunately for them though, awesome is not the word I would use to describe how they are fairing against the immortal Pantheon’s. Ajax and Hector are mowing down Shining Force members like a John Deer cutting grass. One by one they are falling to ‘ The Right Wing’s’ group until there is only three members left. Balbaroy and Bleu flew up in the air and Max some how managed to get behind Blockbuster, who was now on the hunt for the Shining Force killers.
Blockbuster along with Prism and Riptide were now going for Ajax and Hector. Though Ajax was able to fight equally with Blockbuster, he was eventually blinded by Prism’s powers and defeated by the team. With Ajax gone, it did not take them very long to kill Hector as well. The ‘ Comets’ for the first time in the match felt like they had the upper hand as they started to finally get a couple kills under their belt.
With the Shining Force out of the way now, the remaining members of the Pantheon were now going face to face with ‘ The Marauders’. The match was never going to be easy, but with the ‘ Thunderbolts’ on their way it was only going to get harder.
Meanwhile, Jacen Solo decided to do some house cleaning by literally cutting through the competition. He was racing through the “Comets” members like a madman, running around slicing everything and everyone he could find into pieces. On his first terror run he killed Slam Tasmanian, Danger Duck, Lexi Bunny and Hairball. Then on the back end he cut open Rev Runner, Tech E Coyote and Ms. Lion. Ace Bunny actually was able to fight him for a minute or so but was unable to get anything past his light saber, which eventually ended Ace’s life with a slice to the throat.
It was starting to look like Jacen was unstoppable but before he could turn this bloodbath (well, not really since the light saber doesn’t result in blood) into a full fledged genocide; the Cyber Force showed up to show him who was really the boss. Now you would think that an entire team would be able to take out one Jedi, but this wasn’t some ordinary Jedi, this was a Jedi who was on the brink of losing his path to lightness. Solo was one step away from becoming an out and out Sith Lord and he was only going to continue down this path against the X-Men, ahhh, I mean X-Force, no not them, the Cyber Force, that’s it.
With pretty much everyone on both teams engaged in a fierce battle, the Silver Surfer and Trigon were both floating next to each other watching as their teams were beating on each other.
Trigon: “I’m telling you, I’m right."
Silver Surfer: “Just give them time Trigon, I will prove you wrong."
Trigon: “That’s fine Surfer, it’s your people’s lives you are gambling with."
Silver Surfer: “It’s not a gamble, it’s a point."
Trigon: “Yeah, a point that is going to cost your people their lives."
Silver Surfer: “If you say so. We still have time."
Trigon: “You sure about that, it’s not looking too good down there."
Silver Surfer: “I have hope Trigon, not that I would expect you to understand what that is all about."
Trigon: “You sure that’s a green ring you are wearing?”
Silver Surfer: “This has nothing to do with the ring on my hand. Trust me, you will know when I am using it."
They both float in silence for a while as the battle below becomes bloodier by the minute.
Trigon: “Here we go, things just got a little more interesting for you didn’t they."
Silver Surfer: “There is still time."
Trigon: “I’m not sure that there is."
Silver Surfer: “You do realize that either way you lose this argument?”
Trigon: “I never lose Surfer. No matter what you do I always find a way to win."
Silver Surfer: “Pretzel logic at its best Trigon."
Trigon: “You’re the one who wanted to take this conversation to the end. Well, here we go. I think we might be here."
The Silver Surfer then turned his head towards the satanic creature with a look of uncertainty; as if he was suggesting to Trigon that he might be right.
The battle on ground was a brutal one, filled with massive amounts of pain and death. Both sides were taking it hard, but “The Right Wing” was on the losing end of this battle. Sure, the Pantheon and Jacen were able to kill many of their opponents, but for the most part it was the strength in numbers that was prevailing today.
In the Pantheon’s battle with the Thunderbolts and the Marauders, Scalphunter turned Prometheus’s jet car into a flying ball of scrap metal which sent him crashing into the ice, killing him. Arclight beat the life out of Delphi and Andromeda and Ghost killed both Ulysses’s. Agamemnon was able to overpower Blockbuster eventually and Achilles during a fight with Headsman, cut the man’s head clean off when he stole his axe from him. Other than that though, that was about all the good news there was for the “Wingers” as Cassiopeia, Jason and Paris were all killed by the combined “Comets” members.
Things were a little better for Jacen Solo, though the fight did still end in his death. He quickly dispatched of Ballistic and Velocity (I guess he wasn’t that fast after all) and cut two of the three arms off of Stryker. Then he threw his light saber into the face of Cyblade and broke the neck of Heatwave as he flew into the air. As the body of Heatwave fell to the ground, Jacen jumped off and attempted to crush Impact from above. The impact of Jacen’s fall didn’t do much to the Colossus rip-off as Jacen was finally knocked down to the ground and once and for destroyed by the combined efforts of Ripclaw, Impact and Stryker. Though Solo had done some damage, the “Comets” still had plenty of members to send over to take care of the remaining Pantheon members.
It was around this time that Superwoman finally was able to gain the upper hand over Halk Kar as she along with Blue Lantern #2 both blasted the faux Kryptonian into a pile of dust. Superwoman and ole Blue Ring started heading down towards the rest of their team. On the way to the battle though, they killed the remaining flying members of the Shining Force, along with Redwing from the Pet Avengers.
As the remaining Cyber Force members were making their way to help their teammates, Lyra, Jool, Aro and Victoria intercepted them before they could do so. In the ensuing fight, Ripclaw ripped the head off of Jool Noret, but soon lost his own with a light saber strike from Victoria. Stryker then blasted Lyra in the chest with his remaining arm, but before he could even make another move, Aro was standing behind him cutting open his back and ripping his spinal cord out, Predator style. Impact was the last member left and despite the fact that he got several sweet hits in on Victoria and Aro, he was no match for the quickly recovered Lyra who crushed his rib cage in on him, killing him.
Aro and Victoria, along with Superwoman and Blue Lantern #2 were all on their way to help the remaining members of the Pantheon, though it was still up in the air to whom would actually still be alive when they arrived to help them.
Vertigo had let out a mean dose of psionic powers that was disorienting the remaining Pantheon members. Virtually every member of the Thunderbolts and the Marauders were all unloading on Agamemnon, Achilles, Atalanta and Perseus, injuring all of them in the process. The only offense they really had was Atalanta, who continued to shoot her energy arrows at the “Comets”. Since she did not need line of sight to hit her targets, she was still able to inflict some damage on her opponents. She hit Harpoon in the shoulder, knocking him out temporarily; struck Riptide in the leg and with her best shot yet, blew one of them right through the face of Vertigo.
With Vertigo now dead, the remaining Pantheon members were able to re-adjust themselves to the situation and begin fighting again. Perseus immediately jumped over to Swordsman and began a one on one fight with him that ended with both of them dying. Given, the Swordsman death came in the form of an energy spear to the chest, while Perseus’ death came from Scrambler overloading his central nervous system. Achilles was attempting to pummel Arclight into the ground, but was hit by a massive amount of Gamma Rays from Radioactive Man (such a clever name), that weakened him to the point where Mister X could easy break his neck.
Atalanta was able to shoot Radioactive Man in the chest with one more death shot before having her head taken off with a spare piece of metal that Harpoon had manipulated. This only left Agamemnon who had just killed Max with Hector’s energy flail. He then crushed Throg with his foot, taking out the Asgardian frog. Agamemnon was defiant and though he was outnumbered ten to one, he was never going to stop fighting. Just then the remaining “Right Wing” members finally made it to the battle to help out the last remaining Pantheon member. Lyra the She Hulk came charging in and knocked Harpoon down to the ground where the incredibly fast Victoria was able to plunge her light saber down into the chest of the now dead “Comet”. Superwoman used her Telekinesis powers on Scrambler, as he started shutting down the nervous systems of his teammates. She only managed to make him kill Riptide and Scalphunter before he was able to gain control over his mind again. The only reason this happened is because while Superwoman was controlling Scrambler, Malice was able to take over the body of Superwoman.
Blue Lantern #2 immediately noticed what happened and before the Malice controlled Superwoman is even able to make a move, the Blue Lantern destroys her Gravity Redistribution belt and Opal Beam Amulet. This essentially turns the body of the possessed Kristen Wells into nothing more then a normal human, which is then easily defeated by the Blue Lantern. Though they were lucky to have defeated Malice before she was able to do any damage, they were now without one of their most powerful teammates.
Trigon was now just staring at the Surfer, waiting for him to make a move.
Trigon: “What’s it going to be Surfer, have you made your point yet? How many of your teammates are you going to let die before you realize that I’m right?"
Sliver Surfer: “You know Trigon, you’ve made your point. I suppose it is time me to join in on the fight."
Trigon: “The Mighty Silver Surfer was proven wrong. Now you shall go tend to your helpless team. It’s too bad you won’t be able to help your team out though."
Silver Surfer: “And why do you say that?”
Trigon: “Because you are not actually watching this match right now. In fact, we’re not even on the same plan of existence as either of our teams. Not only did I prove my point, but I managed to fool the most powerful creature in this entire league."
The Surfer just stared at Trigon and gave him just the slightest smirk.
Silver Surfer: “You sure about that?”
The Night Before
Silver Surfer is standing by the campfire as Trigon comes over to start up a conversation.
Trigon: “Silver Surfer, you’ve got quite the reputation in this league."
Silver Surfer: “Trigon if I’m not mistaken, isn’t it?”
Trigon: “It is Surfer, it is. I’ll tell you something, you live up to the legend."
Silver Surfer: “And what legend are you talking about?”
Trigon: “Well it’s no secret that you are considered the most powerful person in this league."
Silver Surfer: “I believe that is up to personal opinion."
Trigon: “That may be, but your reputation isn’t. Tell me something, is it true?”
Silver Surfer: “Is what true?”
Trigon: “Surely you have to know that the only reason your team has done anything this season is because of you."
Silver Surfer: “That is entirely not true. We are six and one this season because we have one of the best and deepest teams in the league. I am just a small part of that."
Trigon: “That’s one opinion."
Silver Surfer: “Oh yeah, what’s the other?"
Trigon: “The other opinion says that without you, your team can’t win."
Silver Surfer: “Your trying to provoke a reaction out of me. Just as my reputation proceeds me, so does your Trigon."
Trigon: “Look, all I’m saying is that if you were not in this fight, your team wouldn’t stand a chance."
Silver Surfer: “My team is ready for anything that this league can bring against them, they are just fine without me."
Trigon: “Care to make it interesting Surfer?”
Silver Surfer just looked over at him and paused for a second.
Trigon: “In my opinion, if you were to sit out of this match, your team would lose in an instant."
Sliver Surfer: “Not a chance, my team can handle themselves."
Trigon: “Then prove it. Prove to me that your team actually can function without the mighty Silver Surfer."
Silver Surfer: “If I were to sit out, you would also have to sit out as well."
Trigon: “Of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way."
Just then Aro comes up behind Trigon and puts his hand on his shoulder.
Aro: (In a very smooth procured manner) "Is this guy bugging you?" (Kind of laughs to himself) I’m just kidding of course." Aro then walks away but as he does so, he gives the Surfer a look as if he knows something.
Trigon: “So, do we have a deal?"
The Surfer looks back at Aro and says nothing to him. He doesn’t need to, as he already understands what he is thinking. He then looks back at Trigon and continues the conversation.
Silver Surfer: “It’s not a deal Trigon, it’s just a point I am trying to make. My team will do just fine without me."
Trigon: “I suppose we will see."
Silver Surfer: “You do realize that either way that this is a losing proposition for you?”
Trigon: “If you say so Surfer."
Present Time
Trigon looks at the Surfer and realizes that something isn’t as it seems.
Silver Surfer: “So I was defeated by the mighty Trigon. Now let me ask you a question."
Trigon knows something isn’t right, but is still unsure of what it is.
Silver Surfer: “Do you remember when I told you that when the time came, you would know when I was using my ring?”
Trigon: “You blocked my portal. You made sure I was taken away from the match, just as I did to you. You certainly are just as clever as you are powerful."
Silver Surfer: “That may be true, but you didn’t answer my question."
Trigon: “Yes, I do remember. You used your ring to block my power. Impressive indeed."
Silver Surfer: “In fact you are correct. I did block your power to transport us away. Though, I didn’t need my ring to do that, I can do that on my own. This on the other hand, I do need my ring for."
As he says this, he traps Trigon in a massive energy field, picks him up and races him towards the icy surface of Saskatoon. The Blue Lantern has encased the remaining “Comet” members in a very weak energy field, one that was strong enough to keep them inside, but unstable enough to break upon contact with what the Surfer is sending down towards it. The Surfer then let go of the energy field and watched it crash down into the ice. It punctures a hole into the ground, turning the once frozen water mass into a violent tidal wave of ice and water. As this happens, the Surfer releases the field around Trigon and blast’s him with enough power cosmic to destroy ten Superman’s. The blast was enough to decimate every remaining member of the “Comet’s”, adding more weight to the argument that the Silver Surfer might just be the most powerful creature in all of Fantasy Fantasy.
The Silver Surfer then joined the rest of his team on solid ground to celebrate their victory. As Agamemnon, Lyra the She Hulk, Victoria and the Blue Lantern all stood around congratulating each other on their victory, the Silver Surfer and Aro just looked at each other, each nodding in respect to one another.
Hayley’s Comet’s: All Dead
The Right Wing: Aro, Victoria, Silver Surfer, Agamemnon, Blue Lantern #2 and Lyra the She Hulk all survived.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!
The Right Wing is Superwoman, The Volturi: Aro (w/ a red lightsaber), Caius, & Marcus, Jool Nooret, Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atalanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Perseus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II, Blue Lantern #2, Lyra The she-Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber), & Jacen Solo.
It was a cold Saskatoon night as Jacen Solo was walking over the ice. He was walking away from his team who were making a fire to stay warm. Jacen was heading towards the middle of the ice on his way to a meeting with an unlikely friend. The future Sith Lord was no fool as he came to this meeting well prepared for battle, though a battle is not what the meeting was about. Coming towards him in the distance was The Reaver leader Donald Pierce, who was wearing a heavy jacket as well. The two men talked for a couple of minutes and decided it was pointless to set up two camps tonight. Coming into week 8 both teams agreed it has been a very long season already and that a night of celebration before another bloodbath is well deserved. The two men shook hands and went back to go get their respective teams.
An hour later there was a roaring fire and everyone on both teams was having a grand old time. Silver Surfer was in a deep philosophical conversation with Trigon and Blue Lantern #2 was amazing the Loonatics with some pretty spectacular light shows. Both teams were so intertwined that it was strange to think they would be trying to kill each other in a very short period of time. The night went on without a hitch though and the next morning everyone woke up to the dreadful thought of fighting with the very people they were drinking with the night before.
Regardless of this dreadful thought, both teams packed up their things and went their separate ways. Though, not before Donald Pierce walked over to Jacen Solo to shake his hand one last time before battle.
Donald Pierce: “It was an honor to celebrate with your team last night Jacen."
Jacen Solo: “Well, thanks Don. I think it was a really great idea to do this. Everybody seems to have really needed it."
Donald Pierce: “I agree. One last thing before we begin."
Jacen Solo: “Oh yeah, what’s up?”
Donald Pierce: “I have a parting gift for you."
Jacen Solo: “Oh yeah, what is it?”
Donald Pierce: “This”
Donald proceeds to shake Jacen’s hand and send a current of electricity through his body that stuns him for a second. Jacen is taken aback by this but it is not long before he gain’s control of the current and holds it off long enough for him to take out his light saber and ignite it.
Jacen Solo: “Nice try, but I have a gift for you as well."
Jacen then plunges his light saber into the chest of Donald Pierce, killing the Reaver leader.
Jacen Solo: “Anyone else have anything they want to give me before we start this?”
Silver Surfer: “As you have already killed one of their members Jacen, I believe this match is already underway."
Jacen Solo: “Oh, you think! You’re a frickin genius domey."
The Surfer looks at him without even the slightest facial expression, but is thinking to himself how much of an a-hole his teammate is.
The match has now begun and both teams immediately seemed to forget about the great night they had together just a few short hours ago. The Right Wing knew they were outnumbered, but what they lacked in people they had in power. Blue Lantern #2 wasted no time as he trapped Tech-Net, The Reavers and Hard-Boiled in an energy bubble and before they could do anything about it, Kristin Wells aka Superwoman, teleported them all into the vacuum of space. As soon as the bubble hit the vacuum, it burst, killing everyone inside.
The members of the Volturi and Victoria rushed up on the Ninja Tribunal the 8-Ball gang and Watchdog #1. Victoria was able to kill 8-ball and 9-ball as she rushed up behind the two of them and sliced them both open with her red light saber. The four Ninja’s were now on the move, as they knew their opponents had already caused quite the commotion in this match. Marcus faced Kon-Shisho but was killed very quickly due to his now broken neck. Caius originally had the upper hand in a fight with 6-ball but quickly was over powered when both Judo-Shisho and Chikara-Shisho both came to their teammates aid. It was not long before Caius was run through by Chikara’s katana blade. All that was now left was Victoria and Aro, a two-some that the Tribunal was going to find very difficult to kill.
You see, all Aro needs to do is make contact with someone in order to read their thoughts. Which is why during their camp fire last night, Aro made sure to make his way over to every single person on the ‘ Comets’ team and make contact with them. The trick seems to have worked because between him and Victoria, the four ninja’s didn’t stand a chance against the two light saber-wielding vampires.
6-ball, 11-ball and the Watchdog managed to escape this fight, but not without walking directly into another one. Lyra the She Hulk and Jool Noret approached the “Comet” members and it was honestly kind of sad to watch. Jool immediately killed the Watchdog and She Hulk just beat the life out of the two ball’s, making even Jool a little queasy.
Jool Noret: “Jeez Lyra, I think they were dead a couple of minutes ago."
Lyra the She Hulk: “You never know, you always have to be sure."
Jool Noret: “Well unless you were afraid of blood soaked intestines attacking you, I think the coast is clear. I mean they have ceased to look like human beings for a while now."
Lyra the She Hulk: “They’re dead aren’t they? I play to win."
Jool Noret: “Well you definitely won this one."
Oh dang, I think I was watching the wrong part of this match, as I seemed to have missed some of the action. It looks like Superwoman and Halk Kar or Mon-El or Superman’s fake brother are locked in what seems like a stale mate. They both are just pounding on each other and it doesn’t seem to really be doing anything. Down below (Yes Superwoman and Halk Kar are fighting in the air), the Pantheon is taking on The Shining Force and The Marauders. This seems like it should be an unfair fight, but The Pantheon is holding their own against the two teams.
It really is a shame these Shining Force members are not promoted because I know how awesome they can be. Unfortunately for them though, awesome is not the word I would use to describe how they are fairing against the immortal Pantheon’s. Ajax and Hector are mowing down Shining Force members like a John Deer cutting grass. One by one they are falling to ‘ The Right Wing’s’ group until there is only three members left. Balbaroy and Bleu flew up in the air and Max some how managed to get behind Blockbuster, who was now on the hunt for the Shining Force killers.
Blockbuster along with Prism and Riptide were now going for Ajax and Hector. Though Ajax was able to fight equally with Blockbuster, he was eventually blinded by Prism’s powers and defeated by the team. With Ajax gone, it did not take them very long to kill Hector as well. The ‘ Comets’ for the first time in the match felt like they had the upper hand as they started to finally get a couple kills under their belt.
With the Shining Force out of the way now, the remaining members of the Pantheon were now going face to face with ‘ The Marauders’. The match was never going to be easy, but with the ‘ Thunderbolts’ on their way it was only going to get harder.
Meanwhile, Jacen Solo decided to do some house cleaning by literally cutting through the competition. He was racing through the “Comets” members like a madman, running around slicing everything and everyone he could find into pieces. On his first terror run he killed Slam Tasmanian, Danger Duck, Lexi Bunny and Hairball. Then on the back end he cut open Rev Runner, Tech E Coyote and Ms. Lion. Ace Bunny actually was able to fight him for a minute or so but was unable to get anything past his light saber, which eventually ended Ace’s life with a slice to the throat.
It was starting to look like Jacen was unstoppable but before he could turn this bloodbath (well, not really since the light saber doesn’t result in blood) into a full fledged genocide; the Cyber Force showed up to show him who was really the boss. Now you would think that an entire team would be able to take out one Jedi, but this wasn’t some ordinary Jedi, this was a Jedi who was on the brink of losing his path to lightness. Solo was one step away from becoming an out and out Sith Lord and he was only going to continue down this path against the X-Men, ahhh, I mean X-Force, no not them, the Cyber Force, that’s it.
With pretty much everyone on both teams engaged in a fierce battle, the Silver Surfer and Trigon were both floating next to each other watching as their teams were beating on each other.
Trigon: “I’m telling you, I’m right."
Silver Surfer: “Just give them time Trigon, I will prove you wrong."
Trigon: “That’s fine Surfer, it’s your people’s lives you are gambling with."
Silver Surfer: “It’s not a gamble, it’s a point."
Trigon: “Yeah, a point that is going to cost your people their lives."
Silver Surfer: “If you say so. We still have time."
Trigon: “You sure about that, it’s not looking too good down there."
Silver Surfer: “I have hope Trigon, not that I would expect you to understand what that is all about."
Trigon: “You sure that’s a green ring you are wearing?”
Silver Surfer: “This has nothing to do with the ring on my hand. Trust me, you will know when I am using it."
They both float in silence for a while as the battle below becomes bloodier by the minute.
Trigon: “Here we go, things just got a little more interesting for you didn’t they."
Silver Surfer: “There is still time."
Trigon: “I’m not sure that there is."
Silver Surfer: “You do realize that either way you lose this argument?”
Trigon: “I never lose Surfer. No matter what you do I always find a way to win."
Silver Surfer: “Pretzel logic at its best Trigon."
Trigon: “You’re the one who wanted to take this conversation to the end. Well, here we go. I think we might be here."
The Silver Surfer then turned his head towards the satanic creature with a look of uncertainty; as if he was suggesting to Trigon that he might be right.
The battle on ground was a brutal one, filled with massive amounts of pain and death. Both sides were taking it hard, but “The Right Wing” was on the losing end of this battle. Sure, the Pantheon and Jacen were able to kill many of their opponents, but for the most part it was the strength in numbers that was prevailing today.
In the Pantheon’s battle with the Thunderbolts and the Marauders, Scalphunter turned Prometheus’s jet car into a flying ball of scrap metal which sent him crashing into the ice, killing him. Arclight beat the life out of Delphi and Andromeda and Ghost killed both Ulysses’s. Agamemnon was able to overpower Blockbuster eventually and Achilles during a fight with Headsman, cut the man’s head clean off when he stole his axe from him. Other than that though, that was about all the good news there was for the “Wingers” as Cassiopeia, Jason and Paris were all killed by the combined “Comets” members.
Things were a little better for Jacen Solo, though the fight did still end in his death. He quickly dispatched of Ballistic and Velocity (I guess he wasn’t that fast after all) and cut two of the three arms off of Stryker. Then he threw his light saber into the face of Cyblade and broke the neck of Heatwave as he flew into the air. As the body of Heatwave fell to the ground, Jacen jumped off and attempted to crush Impact from above. The impact of Jacen’s fall didn’t do much to the Colossus rip-off as Jacen was finally knocked down to the ground and once and for destroyed by the combined efforts of Ripclaw, Impact and Stryker. Though Solo had done some damage, the “Comets” still had plenty of members to send over to take care of the remaining Pantheon members.
It was around this time that Superwoman finally was able to gain the upper hand over Halk Kar as she along with Blue Lantern #2 both blasted the faux Kryptonian into a pile of dust. Superwoman and ole Blue Ring started heading down towards the rest of their team. On the way to the battle though, they killed the remaining flying members of the Shining Force, along with Redwing from the Pet Avengers.
As the remaining Cyber Force members were making their way to help their teammates, Lyra, Jool, Aro and Victoria intercepted them before they could do so. In the ensuing fight, Ripclaw ripped the head off of Jool Noret, but soon lost his own with a light saber strike from Victoria. Stryker then blasted Lyra in the chest with his remaining arm, but before he could even make another move, Aro was standing behind him cutting open his back and ripping his spinal cord out, Predator style. Impact was the last member left and despite the fact that he got several sweet hits in on Victoria and Aro, he was no match for the quickly recovered Lyra who crushed his rib cage in on him, killing him.
Aro and Victoria, along with Superwoman and Blue Lantern #2 were all on their way to help the remaining members of the Pantheon, though it was still up in the air to whom would actually still be alive when they arrived to help them.
Vertigo had let out a mean dose of psionic powers that was disorienting the remaining Pantheon members. Virtually every member of the Thunderbolts and the Marauders were all unloading on Agamemnon, Achilles, Atalanta and Perseus, injuring all of them in the process. The only offense they really had was Atalanta, who continued to shoot her energy arrows at the “Comets”. Since she did not need line of sight to hit her targets, she was still able to inflict some damage on her opponents. She hit Harpoon in the shoulder, knocking him out temporarily; struck Riptide in the leg and with her best shot yet, blew one of them right through the face of Vertigo.
With Vertigo now dead, the remaining Pantheon members were able to re-adjust themselves to the situation and begin fighting again. Perseus immediately jumped over to Swordsman and began a one on one fight with him that ended with both of them dying. Given, the Swordsman death came in the form of an energy spear to the chest, while Perseus’ death came from Scrambler overloading his central nervous system. Achilles was attempting to pummel Arclight into the ground, but was hit by a massive amount of Gamma Rays from Radioactive Man (such a clever name), that weakened him to the point where Mister X could easy break his neck.
Atalanta was able to shoot Radioactive Man in the chest with one more death shot before having her head taken off with a spare piece of metal that Harpoon had manipulated. This only left Agamemnon who had just killed Max with Hector’s energy flail. He then crushed Throg with his foot, taking out the Asgardian frog. Agamemnon was defiant and though he was outnumbered ten to one, he was never going to stop fighting. Just then the remaining “Right Wing” members finally made it to the battle to help out the last remaining Pantheon member. Lyra the She Hulk came charging in and knocked Harpoon down to the ground where the incredibly fast Victoria was able to plunge her light saber down into the chest of the now dead “Comet”. Superwoman used her Telekinesis powers on Scrambler, as he started shutting down the nervous systems of his teammates. She only managed to make him kill Riptide and Scalphunter before he was able to gain control over his mind again. The only reason this happened is because while Superwoman was controlling Scrambler, Malice was able to take over the body of Superwoman.
Blue Lantern #2 immediately noticed what happened and before the Malice controlled Superwoman is even able to make a move, the Blue Lantern destroys her Gravity Redistribution belt and Opal Beam Amulet. This essentially turns the body of the possessed Kristen Wells into nothing more then a normal human, which is then easily defeated by the Blue Lantern. Though they were lucky to have defeated Malice before she was able to do any damage, they were now without one of their most powerful teammates.
Trigon was now just staring at the Surfer, waiting for him to make a move.
Trigon: “What’s it going to be Surfer, have you made your point yet? How many of your teammates are you going to let die before you realize that I’m right?"
Sliver Surfer: “You know Trigon, you’ve made your point. I suppose it is time me to join in on the fight."
Trigon: “The Mighty Silver Surfer was proven wrong. Now you shall go tend to your helpless team. It’s too bad you won’t be able to help your team out though."
Silver Surfer: “And why do you say that?”
Trigon: “Because you are not actually watching this match right now. In fact, we’re not even on the same plan of existence as either of our teams. Not only did I prove my point, but I managed to fool the most powerful creature in this entire league."
The Surfer just stared at Trigon and gave him just the slightest smirk.
Silver Surfer: “You sure about that?”
The Night Before
Silver Surfer is standing by the campfire as Trigon comes over to start up a conversation.
Trigon: “Silver Surfer, you’ve got quite the reputation in this league."
Silver Surfer: “Trigon if I’m not mistaken, isn’t it?”
Trigon: “It is Surfer, it is. I’ll tell you something, you live up to the legend."
Silver Surfer: “And what legend are you talking about?”
Trigon: “Well it’s no secret that you are considered the most powerful person in this league."
Silver Surfer: “I believe that is up to personal opinion."
Trigon: “That may be, but your reputation isn’t. Tell me something, is it true?”
Silver Surfer: “Is what true?”
Trigon: “Surely you have to know that the only reason your team has done anything this season is because of you."
Silver Surfer: “That is entirely not true. We are six and one this season because we have one of the best and deepest teams in the league. I am just a small part of that."
Trigon: “That’s one opinion."
Silver Surfer: “Oh yeah, what’s the other?"
Trigon: “The other opinion says that without you, your team can’t win."
Silver Surfer: “Your trying to provoke a reaction out of me. Just as my reputation proceeds me, so does your Trigon."
Trigon: “Look, all I’m saying is that if you were not in this fight, your team wouldn’t stand a chance."
Silver Surfer: “My team is ready for anything that this league can bring against them, they are just fine without me."
Trigon: “Care to make it interesting Surfer?”
Silver Surfer just looked over at him and paused for a second.
Trigon: “In my opinion, if you were to sit out of this match, your team would lose in an instant."
Sliver Surfer: “Not a chance, my team can handle themselves."
Trigon: “Then prove it. Prove to me that your team actually can function without the mighty Silver Surfer."
Silver Surfer: “If I were to sit out, you would also have to sit out as well."
Trigon: “Of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way."
Just then Aro comes up behind Trigon and puts his hand on his shoulder.
Aro: (In a very smooth procured manner) "Is this guy bugging you?" (Kind of laughs to himself) I’m just kidding of course." Aro then walks away but as he does so, he gives the Surfer a look as if he knows something.
Trigon: “So, do we have a deal?"
The Surfer looks back at Aro and says nothing to him. He doesn’t need to, as he already understands what he is thinking. He then looks back at Trigon and continues the conversation.
Silver Surfer: “It’s not a deal Trigon, it’s just a point I am trying to make. My team will do just fine without me."
Trigon: “I suppose we will see."
Silver Surfer: “You do realize that either way that this is a losing proposition for you?”
Trigon: “If you say so Surfer."
Present Time
Trigon looks at the Surfer and realizes that something isn’t as it seems.
Silver Surfer: “So I was defeated by the mighty Trigon. Now let me ask you a question."
Trigon knows something isn’t right, but is still unsure of what it is.
Silver Surfer: “Do you remember when I told you that when the time came, you would know when I was using my ring?”
Trigon: “You blocked my portal. You made sure I was taken away from the match, just as I did to you. You certainly are just as clever as you are powerful."
Silver Surfer: “That may be true, but you didn’t answer my question."
Trigon: “Yes, I do remember. You used your ring to block my power. Impressive indeed."
Silver Surfer: “In fact you are correct. I did block your power to transport us away. Though, I didn’t need my ring to do that, I can do that on my own. This on the other hand, I do need my ring for."
As he says this, he traps Trigon in a massive energy field, picks him up and races him towards the icy surface of Saskatoon. The Blue Lantern has encased the remaining “Comet” members in a very weak energy field, one that was strong enough to keep them inside, but unstable enough to break upon contact with what the Surfer is sending down towards it. The Surfer then let go of the energy field and watched it crash down into the ice. It punctures a hole into the ground, turning the once frozen water mass into a violent tidal wave of ice and water. As this happens, the Surfer releases the field around Trigon and blast’s him with enough power cosmic to destroy ten Superman’s. The blast was enough to decimate every remaining member of the “Comet’s”, adding more weight to the argument that the Silver Surfer might just be the most powerful creature in all of Fantasy Fantasy.
The Silver Surfer then joined the rest of his team on solid ground to celebrate their victory. As Agamemnon, Lyra the She Hulk, Victoria and the Blue Lantern all stood around congratulating each other on their victory, the Silver Surfer and Aro just looked at each other, each nodding in respect to one another.
Hayley’s Comet’s: All Dead
The Right Wing: Aro, Victoria, Silver Surfer, Agamemnon, Blue Lantern #2 and Lyra the She Hulk all survived.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Xavier's Annihilation Squad vs. P.M.S.
“The Blizzard of 2007 was described by many residents as the worst they had seen and paralyzed the city with its low visibility, extreme cold and large volume of snow. Winds rose to over 90 kilometres per hour and an estimated 25 centimetres (9.8 inches) of snow fell throughout the day. Many area residents took refuge overnight at area work places, shopping centres, hospitals and the university.”
-CBC News [January 10, 2007]
I look to the teams which will do battle during the Blizzard of 2007 in Saskatoon. They are as follows:
Xavier's Annihilation Squad: Supergirl, Supreme, The White Witch, Avalanche, Goliath, Kalibak, Geo-Force, Silver Racer (w/ green lantern ring), Zorro (w/ a blue lightsaber) on Mordor Horse #1, Zombie Josh Houslander riding Zombie Silver Dragon #3, Jeannie and Major Nelson, Darth Scarz (w/ a red lantern ring), Ancient Sith Lords #1-5, Nemesis Enforcer, Windhammer, Hammerhand, Topspinner, Ram Bam, Cruncher and Cactus Head.
P.M.S.: Blue Devil, Spawn, Chun Li, Silicon Valerie, Scott Pilgrim, Ramona Flowers, Wallace Wells, Knives Chau, Stephen Stills, Kim Pine, J.C., Secret Agent Zero, Assassin X and Blue Beetle.
Let the Battle begin. . .
Wallace Wells wades through the torrential downpour of snow. Wells hears a high pitched scream and looks to the sky. Wells sees Zombie Josh Houslander riding Zombie Silver Dragon #3. The scream emitted is not from the dragon, but from Houslander. Wells is terrified as the sound from Houslander’s mouth shatters his ears. The screech is a cross between Nathan Lane’s “scared” scream and a helium-induced jawa. Silver Dragon #3 sprays its paralyzation gas and freezes Wallace in place. Houslander jumps off his steed and begins to feast on a stiff Wallace. Spawn comes to the scene. Spawn uses a large chain that wraps around the head of Zombie Houslander. Spawn pulls and Zombie Josh Houslander’s head pops off. Zombie Silver Dragon #3 flies at Spawn, but does not reach his objective as Blue Devil launches his trident into the beast’s head. Zombie Silver Dragon #3 falls to the snow and dies.
Secret Agent Zero and Assassin X see Darth Scarz (w/ a red lantern ring) and Ancient Sith Lords #1-5. The two P.M.S. soldiers manage to kill Ancient Sith Lord #2. They are unsuccessful against remaining Ancient Sith Lords #1, 3-5 and Darth Scarz. Scarz uses his ring to project both Secret Agent Zero and Assassin X into the lightsabers of his followers. Ancient Sith Lords #1, 3-5 slice and dice Secret Agent Zero and Assassin X.
It is Silicon Valerie’s time to fight. She wades through the snow and sees a beautiful, blonde, bikinied female arguing with a military man.
Jeannie: But Master, I really DO need a coat!!!
Major Nelson: You will do no such thing! That bikini is an all-weather one! Now, just look pretty and find a way out of here and into a shelter where your bosoms will keep me warm!
Silicon Valerie rushes at the misogynistic Major Nelson. Valerie jumps on Nelson’s back and breaks his neck. Valerie then takes the lamp, which was held by Nelson, and throws it to Blue Beetle. Blue Beetle uses his powers to destroy the lamp; Jeannie is no more. Supreme flies at Blue Beetle and smashes him into the air. The tundra’s winds whip Beetle around and into Geo-Force, who grabs him and throws him to the Silver Racer. The Racer uses his cosmic powers to rip Blue Beetle apart. On the ground Silicon Valerie sees a horse ride at her. It is Zorro on Mordor Horse #1. Zorro behead Valerie with his lightsaber.
Hammerhand, Topspinner, Ram Bam, Cruncher and Cactus Head see Chun Li, Ramona Flowers and Knives Chau. The men laugh at the “girls” before them. They decide to sing a “pirate song” at the behest of Hammerhand.
Hammerhand: This pirate,
Cactus Head: Has a hat,
Topspinner: Where a skull and crossbones sat;
Ram Bam: With an ahr, ahr, ahr and an aye matey,
Cruncher: This old pirate sailed the seven seas.
After a large skirmish, the P.M.S. girls kill the entire Squad-male crew. Supergirl and the White Witch walk to the scene.
Supergirl: Let’s show them what real girl power can do.
The White Witch uses her wand to control the elements; a wintry storm engulfs the P.M.S. gal crew. Supergirl easily dispatches with Chun Li, Ramona Flowers and Knives Chau. The White Witch smiles and turns them into stone statues.
Nemesis Enforcer hurtles himself through the snow at J.C. and rips him apart. Spawn launches himself at the Nemesis Enforcer and kills him. Spawn looks down at the remains of Nemesis Enforcer.
Spawn: Poser. . .
Scott Pilgrim, Stephen Stills and Kim Pine wander through the elements. The ground is ripped apart and they are thrown into the air by Avalanche. The trio falls to the ground and attempts to regroup. Windhammer uses his hammer to control the winds and snow around the three. The weather lashes out at them. Zorro gallops through the snowy haze and falls off Mordor Horse #1 as both Pilgrim and Pine throw large rocks at the horse, causing it to buckle. Mordor Horse #1 twists and breaks its leg. Zorro quickly walks up to his steed and humanely kills the beast. The three attack Zorro before he is able to recover from his broken heart at having to kill his pet. Zorro is killed. The three hear thundering sounds as Goliath walks upon the P.M.S. crew. Goliath steps on Pine, crushing her. As Pilgrim and Stills manage to dodge Goliath’s feet, they are blasted by Kalibak’s Beta Club. Both perish from the club’s powers.
Blue Devil: It has been an honor.
Spawn: Screw the honor; let’s take someone out before they do the same to us.
The two rush at Avalanche and Windhammer. Windhammer is killed by Blue Devil, while Avalanche is killed by Spawn. Supergirl, Supreme and the Silver Racer wipe the final P.M.S. combatants- Blue Devil and Spawn out, in a brief moment.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad: Supergirl, Supreme, The White Witch, Goliath, Kalibak, Geo-Force, Silver Racer (w/ green lantern ring), Darth Scarz (w/ a red lantern ring), Ancient Sith Lords #1, 3-5.
P.M.S.: All dead.
XAVIER’S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!!!
-CBC News [January 10, 2007]
I look to the teams which will do battle during the Blizzard of 2007 in Saskatoon. They are as follows:
Xavier's Annihilation Squad: Supergirl, Supreme, The White Witch, Avalanche, Goliath, Kalibak, Geo-Force, Silver Racer (w/ green lantern ring), Zorro (w/ a blue lightsaber) on Mordor Horse #1, Zombie Josh Houslander riding Zombie Silver Dragon #3, Jeannie and Major Nelson, Darth Scarz (w/ a red lantern ring), Ancient Sith Lords #1-5, Nemesis Enforcer, Windhammer, Hammerhand, Topspinner, Ram Bam, Cruncher and Cactus Head.
P.M.S.: Blue Devil, Spawn, Chun Li, Silicon Valerie, Scott Pilgrim, Ramona Flowers, Wallace Wells, Knives Chau, Stephen Stills, Kim Pine, J.C., Secret Agent Zero, Assassin X and Blue Beetle.
Let the Battle begin. . .
Wallace Wells wades through the torrential downpour of snow. Wells hears a high pitched scream and looks to the sky. Wells sees Zombie Josh Houslander riding Zombie Silver Dragon #3. The scream emitted is not from the dragon, but from Houslander. Wells is terrified as the sound from Houslander’s mouth shatters his ears. The screech is a cross between Nathan Lane’s “scared” scream and a helium-induced jawa. Silver Dragon #3 sprays its paralyzation gas and freezes Wallace in place. Houslander jumps off his steed and begins to feast on a stiff Wallace. Spawn comes to the scene. Spawn uses a large chain that wraps around the head of Zombie Houslander. Spawn pulls and Zombie Josh Houslander’s head pops off. Zombie Silver Dragon #3 flies at Spawn, but does not reach his objective as Blue Devil launches his trident into the beast’s head. Zombie Silver Dragon #3 falls to the snow and dies.
Secret Agent Zero and Assassin X see Darth Scarz (w/ a red lantern ring) and Ancient Sith Lords #1-5. The two P.M.S. soldiers manage to kill Ancient Sith Lord #2. They are unsuccessful against remaining Ancient Sith Lords #1, 3-5 and Darth Scarz. Scarz uses his ring to project both Secret Agent Zero and Assassin X into the lightsabers of his followers. Ancient Sith Lords #1, 3-5 slice and dice Secret Agent Zero and Assassin X.
It is Silicon Valerie’s time to fight. She wades through the snow and sees a beautiful, blonde, bikinied female arguing with a military man.
Jeannie: But Master, I really DO need a coat!!!
Major Nelson: You will do no such thing! That bikini is an all-weather one! Now, just look pretty and find a way out of here and into a shelter where your bosoms will keep me warm!
Silicon Valerie rushes at the misogynistic Major Nelson. Valerie jumps on Nelson’s back and breaks his neck. Valerie then takes the lamp, which was held by Nelson, and throws it to Blue Beetle. Blue Beetle uses his powers to destroy the lamp; Jeannie is no more. Supreme flies at Blue Beetle and smashes him into the air. The tundra’s winds whip Beetle around and into Geo-Force, who grabs him and throws him to the Silver Racer. The Racer uses his cosmic powers to rip Blue Beetle apart. On the ground Silicon Valerie sees a horse ride at her. It is Zorro on Mordor Horse #1. Zorro behead Valerie with his lightsaber.
Hammerhand, Topspinner, Ram Bam, Cruncher and Cactus Head see Chun Li, Ramona Flowers and Knives Chau. The men laugh at the “girls” before them. They decide to sing a “pirate song” at the behest of Hammerhand.
Hammerhand: This pirate,
Cactus Head: Has a hat,
Topspinner: Where a skull and crossbones sat;
Ram Bam: With an ahr, ahr, ahr and an aye matey,
Cruncher: This old pirate sailed the seven seas.
After a large skirmish, the P.M.S. girls kill the entire Squad-male crew. Supergirl and the White Witch walk to the scene.
Supergirl: Let’s show them what real girl power can do.
The White Witch uses her wand to control the elements; a wintry storm engulfs the P.M.S. gal crew. Supergirl easily dispatches with Chun Li, Ramona Flowers and Knives Chau. The White Witch smiles and turns them into stone statues.
Nemesis Enforcer hurtles himself through the snow at J.C. and rips him apart. Spawn launches himself at the Nemesis Enforcer and kills him. Spawn looks down at the remains of Nemesis Enforcer.
Spawn: Poser. . .
Scott Pilgrim, Stephen Stills and Kim Pine wander through the elements. The ground is ripped apart and they are thrown into the air by Avalanche. The trio falls to the ground and attempts to regroup. Windhammer uses his hammer to control the winds and snow around the three. The weather lashes out at them. Zorro gallops through the snowy haze and falls off Mordor Horse #1 as both Pilgrim and Pine throw large rocks at the horse, causing it to buckle. Mordor Horse #1 twists and breaks its leg. Zorro quickly walks up to his steed and humanely kills the beast. The three attack Zorro before he is able to recover from his broken heart at having to kill his pet. Zorro is killed. The three hear thundering sounds as Goliath walks upon the P.M.S. crew. Goliath steps on Pine, crushing her. As Pilgrim and Stills manage to dodge Goliath’s feet, they are blasted by Kalibak’s Beta Club. Both perish from the club’s powers.
Blue Devil: It has been an honor.
Spawn: Screw the honor; let’s take someone out before they do the same to us.
The two rush at Avalanche and Windhammer. Windhammer is killed by Blue Devil, while Avalanche is killed by Spawn. Supergirl, Supreme and the Silver Racer wipe the final P.M.S. combatants- Blue Devil and Spawn out, in a brief moment.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad: Supergirl, Supreme, The White Witch, Goliath, Kalibak, Geo-Force, Silver Racer (w/ green lantern ring), Darth Scarz (w/ a red lantern ring), Ancient Sith Lords #1, 3-5.
P.M.S.: All dead.
XAVIER’S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!!!
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