B3 vs Mitchy's

The Tentacles sit around their HQ, trying to figure out what to get to eat. They look at the FFL menu and see something called a "Krisatu special".

"Wonder what that is?" wonders Starlord.

A Krisatu spe... OH S**T!" screams Ambush Bug, but it is too late.

The Tentacles HQ blows up killing everyone inside.

Standings Updated

The standings have been updated through 4 weeks of play.  Conference matches are over between divisions and here is how the first 4 weeks played out.

Steven Spielberg Division beat Arthur C. Clarke Division 10-6
J.R.R. Tolkien Division beat the Frank Herbert Division 9-7

To see the full standings, click here or use the link on the right.

Remember we have a two week break for the Big Point week so no need to send in a team this coming Tuesday.  Week 6 squads not due until Tuesday 4/15.  Next two matches are Inter-conference.  Last 3 matchups of the year are against your division.

Horsemen of Apokolips are: Darkseid w/ Palantir, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Annihilus, and Stitch w/Green Lightsaber

President Barack Obama & Miley Cyrus' Touring Battalion of Commandos are:  Earth 2 Superman, Thanos, Hermione Granger w/ Blue Infinity Gem and 2 L.M.D.s

Hermoine, Thanos and LMD Crusader arrive on the Horsemen homeship known as the Ark, Crisader hidden under the cloak of invisibility to not arouse the suspicion of the Commandos. 

"Earth 2 Superman should arrive momentarily. At that moment wait for the signal and join us on the bridge." Thanos and Hermoine begin to confidently stride toward the bridge. They happen upon Annihilus who Hermoine quickly turns into a cricket and crushes him beneath her heel.

They arrive as Darkseid sits calmly in his chair. 

"Darkseid. So good to see you. Your moment of reckoning is at hand."

"Thanos. I see you still foolishly pining for death. I shall ensure you feel her embrace shortly." Thanos begins to rise, when Hermoine raises her wand and aims it at the God of all evil. 

"Abra ka-"  she begins, when Earth-2 Superman flies in  and fries her with heatvision.

"BITCH! NONE SHALL HARM DARKSEID! ALL HAIL ANTI-LIFE!" He turns his murderous gaze to Thanos. "Now you shall learn...the...s...e..c.." he begins to slow down as Thanos aims the orange gem at him and slows him to a crawl.  As this transpires, Wonder Woman enters the room and immediatley leaps into action and takes out the Earth-2 Superman. This lands her in the middle of the two cosmic powerhouses She wipes the blood from her sword and says "Now, I shall finish you off demon. All hail..." and she turns to point her sword at Darksied 

"THE COMMANDOS!"  

"Predictable." growls Darkseid as he blasts her in the chest. She falls to the floor and a voice screams out

"DIANA!!" yells Batman as he sees the female third of the trinity hit the floor, completely missing all that occured before hand. Batman reaches into his utility belt, and withdraws a gun and shoots his teammate dead in the chest as Thanos begins to laugh. Batman whirls to face Thanos, just as Superman and Stitch arrive.

"Badman! Badman!" screeches Stitch as he leaps forward and is swatted out of the air by Thanos. While he's distracted, Batman grabs a batarang and plunges it into the heart of Thanos.

"We did it Clark, we did..."

Superman backhands the Dark Knight as hard as he can as Thanos begins to laugh. 

"Get up" growls the Man of Steel "I know that barely made a dent in you"

Batman arises. Half of his face gone, revealing the circuitry of a LMD beneath it.

Superman turns to address Thanos.

"You overplayed your hand, Thanos. I knew Batman would never so carelessly gun down anyone, let alone a teammate. Horsemen never betray. And as for Wonder Woman? You think we don't talk outside of battle? We changed the plan on you pal. As we speak she's"

"pzzzzt....Yes...Kryptonian..LMD designate crusader has a few upgrades. Allow me to...001111...show you" He reaches into his utility belt and removes the orange infinity gem and purple gem that Barack Obama gave him before heading off to handle the White Lantern Supremacist Sinestro. 

"Designate wished to have a kryptonite heart." it screeches as it opens it's chest and lethally doses Superman with it's deadly fuel source. Designate Crusader was too late to obtain the blue gem and green gem. But after dispatching you, designate shall obtain the orange time gem and return Thanos to health. Ensuring our victory. And as for...designate Wonder Woman..." the LMD lifits the purple gems and blinks out of sight for a second, then returns with the lifeless corpse of Wonder Woman." He throws it at Superman man, sapping the last bit of strength for the already weakend man.  "Farwell, Kal-El." and he summonds all the power of the red gem to put his fist through Superman's head. 

"Hurry..my time draws near.... wheezes Thanos. The LMD heads over and raises the gem. As he prepares to save Thanos' pitiful life and claim a victory for the Commandos, a *whimmmm* is heard.

"What is..." asks the LMD  as Thanos screams "NO!" with his last breath.

"pant. pant. Bad. MAN" growls Stitch as he stands over the decoy caped crusader. Revealing that he wasn't fooled for a second by the Commandos deception.

Horsemen vs Commandos

Horsemen of Apokolips are: Darkseid w/ Palantir, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, White Lantern Sinestro, Annihilus, Optimus Prime w/Roller, Godzilla, Green Lantern Ryan Poteracki, Bruno Sammartino, Stitch w/Green Lightsaber, The Celestial: Ace Frehley, and Darth Vader Sith Starfighter Transformer

President Barack Obama & Miley Cyrus' Touring Battalion of Commandos are: Kingdom Come Superman, Earth 2 Superman, Martian Manhunter, Vampire Orion, The Atom, Thanos, Aleta One "Aletamus Prime", Hermione Granger w/ Blue Infinity Gem, President Barack Obama w/ Purple Infinity Gem,  Benny, Isa & Tico, Black Lantern Doozer #1, Doozer #13, and 3 L.M.D.s

 

Ace Frehley floats in space, waiting. He's taps into his Celstial awareness to keep tabs on the battle he is a part of. 

 

He sees White Lantern Sinestro pop Black Lantern Doozer like a pimple and make the comment "The only good black is a dead one." This causes the entire squadron of Commandos to besiege him.  Sinestro swats them off easily with the various hues of lantern power, ending the FFL careers of Benny, Isa and Tico as he proclaims "Speak American here in America. Not your Mexican talk". Doozer 13 is squashed and told he was "Back in the dirt where he belongs". The Atom flies at Sinestro in his smaller form, attempting to deliver his signature, tiny knockout punch, but Sinstro catches him. He puts Ryan Choi in his mouth and bites down, killing the Atom. Sinestro cackles "I don't know why I ate him. I'm always hungry an hour later after eating Chinese, or Japanese, or whatever he was"

 

"Buddy. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to send you to one one my death panels" says Barack Obama as he marches in, rolling up his sleeves. 

"You'll never take my guns, you commie!" Sinestro screams as he conjures up a giant cannon and blasts him right in the chest. 

"ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME!!!" screams the triumphant Sinestro

"And I have, you racist piece of garbage" growls vampire Orion. Fueled by the nuclear blood of the monster Godzilla, whom he just dispatched, Orion overcomes the light of Sinestro's ring and murders him. His vampire hearing pick the the sound of a ring hitting the floor as Brandon Inge arrives of the scene and the two face off.

"Hey, f**kface. Let's do this. Mano e mano"  Inge cracks his knuckls and puts up his dukes.

"Fool. You dare to challenge a GOD? I don't need the powers of a vampire. I shall beat you to death slowly. And painfully." He delivers powerful haymaker to the stomach of Inge, knocking the air out of him and breaking a rib. Orion laughs as he raises Inge by the throat watching as  he struggles for breath. As his gasps for air, Inge reaches behind his back, and grabs his trust baseball bat, filed into a spike. He drives the stake into Orion's heart,  and gasps for air as he is released when Orion explodes. He starts to look for his ring when he sees a familiar face.

"Oh! Hey there..." but Inge is unable to finish his sentance when the LMD designate Crusader punches through his skull. Fueled by the power of the red gem.  Crusader grabs Inge's green ring, adding it to the already impressive collection of weaponry and infinity gems it's amassed.

Frehley is snapped out of his trance when he sees what's transpired

"I gotta warn the other Horsemen." Ace attempts to alert the others when Gene Simmons appears in from of him, holding a green ring. He thrusts it into his chest.

"This is the ring of our owner." Gene snarls, spitting demonfire. "Weren't you supposed to have his back?"

"But Gene...I was...I saw.. you see" stammers Ace, when his communicator begins to crackle, but Ace can't hear it over the Demonic voice of Gene Simmons

"Save it. You're outta the band. You're no longer the Celestial. Give me your harness and powers"

"But..Gene..this is.... are you even.."

"NOW!" 

Ace's bottom lip begins to tremble as he unclasps his gear. He begins to focus he powers into the tradional make up he wears, when Gene's head explodes and Paul Stanley flies in. 

"PAUL??" asks Ace

"Yeah, Ace. You almost gave up your power to a robot. Maybe he had the right idea." says Paul Stanley.

"But Paul...I gotta tell you.." stammers Ace as his radio continues to crackle

Paul backhands Ace across the face and grabs him by the throat.

"Do you know what's happened? Not only is Poteracki dead, but so is Optimus. He took down the prime pretender Alleta, when the Matrix left her and returned to him, but Kingdom Come Superman put him down. I don't know what happened to Vader, but we're in dire straights while you're out here doing jacks**t with your gifts. The Starchild saved you once already. Let me do what I do best and show why KISS is the hottest band in the world!" 

"Yeah Paul. Ok." says Ace meekly as he gives the power of the Space Ace to Paul Stanley and reverts back to Paul Frehley. Paul begins to choke on the lack of oxygen, as he no longer can survive in space. He hits the emergency button in his comm and it activates an emergency oxygen supply and a homing beacon.

 

"Idiot." says the Celestial Star Child as he turns his attention to the Death Star.

 He grabs the massive space station as Frehley finally hears what his comm was saying

 

"I have taken command of the Death Star and have it aimed at the RAMA and Thanos. I await your command to fire, Ace" says the voice of Darth Vader

 

Ace's eyes widen in horror as the Death Star is crushed before his eyes. The fiery blast causes "Paul" to lose his focus and he reverts back to the form of the Martian Manhunter, but he still retains the power of the Celestial. A bit of wreckage hits Ace right in the chest, literally finishing the heartbreak that his incompetence started. 

 

The Manhunter's victory is short lived, as he feels a tap on his shoulder.

 

Superman stands in front of him and snaps his neck before J'Onn can think.

 

"I've had enough of you bastard Commandos and your trickery. Let's finish this." and he heads off to the Ark for the final confrontation.

Horsemen vs Commandos

The roar of Godzilla rumbles through RAMA, followed by a series of explosions. President Obama  addresses the LMDs standing in front of him.

"LMD Bandmate  is on route as we speak. The red gem is where it's supposed to be, correct?"

"Affirmative. LMD designate amazon has acquired the power gem and dispatched the Horsemen spy. Designate crusader is equipped and awaiting dispatch. Brainwave program  for amazon is 89% complete with 34 seconds left to completion"

"Very good. Here's the orange gem. I took it from Linely before she started defiling herself with that filthy Horsemen who kept convulsing. Let's get to the Ark."

"Affirmative. Amazon is ready"

The two teleport to the ark. They arrive right infront of Bugs Bunny. Who's eyes pop out of his head in a wild take.

"Nyeeeh. What's up Barack?" he says as he pulls a giant mallet.  LMD Amazon grabs the cartoon rabbit and slams him into the ground, in a move that would normally break someone's next. But since Bugs is a cartoon, all he sees are stars.

Obama aims the orange gem and says "Let's see what happens when you're a real life, American rabbit" and transforms Bugs into a regular bunny. LMD Amazon crushes the cute, fluffy version of Bugs beneath her bootheel.

"Very nice. Again, on behalf of the Commandos, I'd like to thank you for your service. If my intel is correct, your target should be in the next room. Dispatch her quietly and ready yourself for the finale." He salutes the LMD.

LMD: Alpha remains motionless. As President Obama teleports back to RAMA to prepare the third LMD. Amazon takes off, ready to kill and replace Wonder Woman.

Commandos vs Horsemen

 Horsemen of Apokolips are: Darkseid w/ Palantir, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Firestorm (Jason Rusch), Scar (Evil Guardian), White Lantern Sinestro, Annihilus, Black Bolt, Optimus Prime w/Roller, Obi Wan Kenobi in a Jedi V Wing, Harry Potter, Godzilla, Pinhead, Green Lantern Ryan Poteracki, Bruno Sammartino, Stitch w/Green Lightsaber, Bugs Bunny, The Celestial: Ace Frehley, and Darth Vader Sith Starfighter Transformer

President Barack Obama & Miley Cyrus' Touring Battalion of Commandos are: Kingdom Come Superman, Earth 2 Superman, Martian Manhunter, Vampire Orion, The Atom, Heimdall, Thanos, Captain Marvel (Mar-Vel), Aleta One "Aletamus Prime", Space Jockey w/ Orange Infinity Gem, Hermione Granger w/ Blue Infinity Gem, President Barack Obama w/ Purple Infinity Gem,  Benny, Isa & Tico, Black Lantern Doozer #1, Doozer #13, and 3 L.M.D.s

 

 

 

"Confirmed. Make your way to the firing station, the Celestial is on his way to back you up in case things go south." says Green Lantern Ryan Poteracki. "we're about to hit the other ship. Keep the Ark safe above all. Darkseid and I command it" he leads his squadron to RAMA. 

"Here we go big guy."  he says as he tows Godzilla with him. He winds up and does his version of a "Fastball Special" and launches the monster at the ship. Godzilla smashes into the ship and lets out his signature, fiery roar igniting all he sees.

"Save some for us, fair warrior. HAVE AT THEE!" announces Wonder Woman as she rushes at Heimdall and begin to battle, one that the Amazon is victorious in as the Gatekeeper of the Gods is no match for the newest God of War.

 

The heat of battles consumes the ship as the two mighty teams clash with a ferocity usually resefved to the playoffs. Hermoine Granger finally climbs out of the shadow of the mighty Harry Potter, as the blue infinity gem allows her the ability to read Potter's mind and counter his spells before he can cast them. It pains her to have to use the killing curse on her dear friend, but she knows that the grave can never truly hold Harry. She causally dispells the demon known as Pinhead. She turns and her eyes widen with horror as she sees Black Bolt draw a breath and readies himself to utter the words that will rattle the flesh from her bones, when there's a blur and Black Bolt's jaw is broken. KC Superman stands over him "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" he says as he tears off the Inhuman king's jaw.  Hermoine telepathically scans the RAMA and tells KCS where he's needs next. He nods solemly, and takes off.  Readying himself for what comes next.

Outside the spaceships and Death Stars, the action is equally intense. Ben Kenobi floats lifelessly in space, as the Space Jockey has used his gem to age the Jedi's fighter to dust. To further inflict punishment, he's slowed down the time around Obi Wan so his suffocation takes is taking what seems to be hours. Firestorm sees the elder Jedi and rushes over to try and create for oxygen for his teammate, when he's grabbed by the crazed Earth-2 Superman. 

 

"Oh crap." mutters Jason Rusch "Darkseid was right, this is how I die." He prepares himself for the end, as he knows he can't stand toe to toe with Superman

"DARKSEID! WHERE IS HE!" he screams. "I MUST FIND MY MASTER. ALL MUST DIE FOR DARKSEID"

"urk. I-in the Ark. He's in the Ark." says Firestorm 

"Thank you, friend, I grant you the peace of Anti-life" as E2Supes tears him it two, as Firestorm goes nuclear and explodes taking Scar, Captain Marvel and Space Jockey with him.

"I'm coming, master. Anti-life for ALL life" as E2Supes  hurries to find HIS one, true lord and master

Season 7, Week 4: Griswold's Nut Busters vs. The Royal Highness

The Nut Busters are: The Event Horizon, Doomsday, Nova (Sam Alexander), Pepper Potts w/Rescue Armor, Widget w/body, Vampire Hal Jordan, Pel Tavin, Ali Rayner-West, Hunter and Forest Rayner, G.L. 7177.6, Alexandra DeWitt, Larvox, Star Sapphire #3, Evan Sabahnur, Fizzle, Pipes, Maj. Hawk Masterson, Sgt. Scout Baker, Elmo, Doozer #5, Livewire, Heat Man, Cowboy Man, Bear, Zimm, Captain Wacky, Droid Fighter Ships #15-20, Mini-Pipes, The Goddess of the Moon, Super-Hero, Stephanie, Dos and PC in their helicopter exosuit, GoBot #1, GoBot #2, War Skrull #6, War Skrull #7, and Skrull #1. The Highness is: Mogo, Ronan the Accuser, Gladiator, Nova w/ Worldmind, The Astronomer, Metron, Superboy Doomsday, Marvelman, Chaselon, Suprema w/ B.L. Ring, Silver Racer w/ G.L. Ring, Q2, Orion, Marvin the Martian, Paula Deen in a Z-95 Headhunter, Jedi Master #40, and Jedi Master #41.   It was a beautiful day on Mogo, and The Highness was enjoying a tropical vacation to take their minds off the season's shaky start. Metron and The Astronomer were playing a game of some absurd alien Superchess when The Astronomer noticed something move far away in space. With his telescopic vision he saw The Nut Busters and their massive ship making their way toward the living vacation destination. "I can't believe this crap." Sam Alexander grumbled. "We win against the odds last week and we get thrown into deep space with some kind of demon ship. They get kicked into the ground, and it earns them a spa week? Come on, let's go down there and keep their streak going." The Astronomer finished his move before warning his nearby allies, but Mogo was a step ahead and hurled a compressed lightning ball from his atmosphere. Flying fast, it made impact against The Event Horizon and expanded to a tremendous size, and the concussive force scattered them as they fell to planet surface. The first casualties were inflicted as two Droid Fighter Ships collided, Widget sank into the ocean, and The Event Horizon came crashing down in the jungle. At the crash site, the members of the Shining Force outside the ship rushed to check on their allies. The ship was largely undamaged, but no survivors had emerged. Seeing no problem with intentionally entering the terrifying ship, they walked in and the doors shut behind them. Mogo tried holding the Nut Busters back from the crash with powerful winds so the Highness could search it, but the team's Lanterns shielded their allies and pushed through. When they arrived, Superboy Doomsday was on the scene using himself as a battering ram against the ship's closed doors while the rest of the team discussed more effective tactics. Doomsday Classic set out to prove his authenticity and tackled his clone to the ground, while Nova Rider began brutally beating Nova Alexander to prove the same.   As chaos took over the battlefield, the doors of the Event Horizon opened unseen by the fighters. Vampire Hal Jordan, however, stopped to notice the smell of a blood ocean emanating from the ship. The world around him vanished as his willpower failed and the hunger took over. He ran inside and witnessed the final fate of the passengers; it was hard to tell who died on impact and who was killed after. Most of the corpses were partially eaten, presumably by Bear who was burst open and overflowing with tender meaty bits. He grabbed Bear's heart and sank his fangs into it, but the blood tasted foul. He felt the evil presence infect him immediately, remembering the good ol' days with Parallax. He fell to his knees as the transformation began, tearing and reshaping his flesh and mind. Outside, Nova had stopped needlessly pummeling Nova Jr. in his lifeless face and moved on to Sabahnur, either because he was bitter over their win last week or because he was just in the mood to thrash young men. The Circle of Fire stepped in against his rampage and pulled him off of Evan, who eviscerated Nova. Suddenly, a roar came from inside that stopped the fight, save for the Doomsdays who decided to take the fight somewhere a little more private. Hal Jordan emerged from the ship three times taller, 90% more bat-like, and slick like a newborn eel. He panned his eyes across the crowd staring back at him before leaping into the air with unprecedented speed. He swooped through The Astronomer's head with open jaws and landed on Metron's chair, tearing at him with his newly sprouted demon claws. Chaselon charged the corrupt Lantern, but Pel Tavin stepped between them and cut him down. Marvelman finished his Earl Grey and engaged in a bout of fisticuffs with Hal, giving his allies a chance to thin the forces a bit. Silver Racer worked quickly at picking off the no-names one by one while Suprema, Gladiator, and Ronan took on the Nut Busting Lanterns. Hunter and Forest dropped like flies against Suprema, and G.L. 7177.6 crumpled like a tin can against Ronan. DeWitt was almost useful, but then Gladiator refrigerated her to death with a gust of freezing breath. Marvin the Martian had just gunned down Larvox with his disintegrator beam when Fizzle and Pipes both ran him over on their way to the battle late, as they had been smoking energon in the nearby jungle prior to this point. Pipes blew a smog cloud in Marvelman's face, and Vampire Hal scooped him up and ate his skull Ozzy style. His power grew, and his metamorphosis continued as his limbs began splitting into numerous barbed tendrils. Q2 appeared beside Suprema with some friendly advice. "Here's a neat thought: If you try hoping really hard while pointing your ring at that creature, we might not all have to die." The monstrosity slammed a tentacle down on Q2 and Suprema dodged. She shined her blue light on Hal and with all her team's hopes for this week, she cured him of his vampirism. No longer able to sustain the powerful evil inhabiting him, his mutated body quickly decomposed until nothing but a pile of reeking grey meat remained where he stood. Evan Sabahnur put on his game face and prepared to make a bold stand against the intimidating foes when an even more intimidating one landed on top of him from the brush. Superboy Doomsday let out a victory cry as he held Doomsday's pulp-covered skull aloft. He shoved the skull's bone protrusions through Pepper's helmet, and with his team he brought the final beatdown in against the Nut Busters. Beyond Mogo's atmosphere, Paula Deen ended her long fight against the last of the droid starfighters. Through a mouthful of in-flight cornbread she cheered for herself. "I feel so light, like a majestic eagle! I'm so- URK." She clutched her chest as the excitement stopped her heart, and she began falling to Mogo. On the ground, Pel Tavin and Ronan were attempting to finish the match with an honorable duel when Paula's ship landed on them both. Silver Racer popped open her cockpit. "Oh my god!" he exclaimed. "This cornbread smells f***ing delicious!"

Commandos vs Horsemen

 Horsemen of Apokolips are: Darkseid w/ Palantir, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Firestorm (Jason Rusch), Scar (Evil Guardian), White Lantern Sinestro, Annihilus, Black Bolt, Optimus Prime w/Roller, Obi Wan Kenobi in a Jedi V Wing, Harry Potter, Godzilla, Pinhead, Green Lantern Ryan Poteracki, C.M. Punk w/ Legion Flight Ring, Blue Lightsaber, Bruno Sammartino, Stitch w/Green Lightsaber, Bugs Bunny, The Celestial: Ace Frehley, and Darth Vader Sith Starfighter Transformer

President Barack Obama & Miley Cyrus' Touring Battalion of Commandos are: Kingdom Come Superman, Earth 2 Superman, Martian Manhunter, Vampire Orion, The Atom, Heimdall, Thanos, Captain Marvel (Mar-Vel), Aleta One "Aletamus Prime", Jen Linley w/ Yellow Infinity Gem, Judah Ben Hur w/ White Lantern Ring & Green Infinity Gem, Space Jockey w/ Orange Infinity Gem, Hermione Granger w/ Blue Infinity Gem, President Barack Obama w/ Purple Infinity Gem, Duke (G.I. Joe) w/ Green Lantern Ring, Anus the Touchable, Worm Becks, Dora w/ Boots, the Map & Backpack, Benny, Isa & Tico, Black Lantern Doozer #1, Black Lantern Jar Jar Binks, Tenderheart Bear, Doozer #13, The Death Star with the following crew members John Harrison, Worf w/ S.P.I.N. Tech, Xavier Harkonne, Frank Poole, and 3 L.M.D.s

BA-WHOOM!!

Obi-Wan blows a hole in the side of the Death Star's docking station, throwing the Commandos into chaos. They'd been so focused on their destruction at the hands of Ace Frehley that they never considered a blitzkreig assault like this.

"It's CLOBBERING TIME!!!" exclaims CM Punk as he enters the hold, igniting his blue lightsaber. He looks around and sees his foes. Worm Becks. Tenderheart Beart. Dora and her crew. Jen Linely is using her yellow infinity gem to endlessly fulfill her various vices, and due to the vast amounts of drugs and alcohol we find Anus the Untouchable isn't quite so untouchable afterall.

"Yousa in some beeg beeg doodoo" says Black Lantern JarJar. He rushes forward, and slips on some of the product of Jen's wishes ,and slams into Tenderheart, causing his Care Bear stare to miss Punk and hit Becks mid-worm. Beckerman is thrown backwards and lands facefirst in Jen's massive pile of cocaine. Stuck on his side, Beckerman can do nothing but bob up and down in the drug eliciting screams of fury from Linely.

"Are you serious?" says a bewildered Punk as the scene continues to break down. "This is f**king stupid." he says as he shakes his head and flies off. Never to be seen from again.

Suddenly, a massive Starfighter invades the bay, but none of the Commandos notice. The telltale sounds of a transformer transforming doing even break them out of their in-fighting. This makes things surprisingly simple for the gigantic Darth Vader robot, who begins crushing the Commandos one by one. His signature breathing sounds like a jet engine. Vader begins storming about the base his normal persona calls home, dispatching  all who come his way. Duke makes a valaint effort to stop the beast, but not even GI Joe can thwart the coolness that is a Star Wars Transformer. The green infinity gem of Judah Ben Hur has no affect on the soulless Vader, who lets a ferocious blast of Sith lightning erupt from his fingers and vaporizes him.

President Obama sees all this going on and teleports himself to RAMA where Thanos is waiting.

"It's an absolute mess over there, Thanos. I say we send out a drone strike and cut our losses."

"Nonsense. It's all going according to plan. You're up.. 'Tenderheart' "

"As you wish, Thanos" says the Care Bear, who begins to shift and shake-revealing his true form. The Martian Manhunter. J'Onn takes off and prepares to deal with the escalating situation at the Death Star,

Commandos vs Horsemen

Bail Organa paces nervously. Thus far, the palantir hasn't steered him wrong, but he keeps obsessively checking it.  He anxiously shifts the stone from hand to hand, debating on what to do. Much like the fabled "one ring", it seems this artifact from middle earth also has an addictive quailty.

"Make a command. Then check to make sure it's the right one. Yes. Yes. That's it. Tell them. The spaceman. He who crushes my beloved Star of Death. Look out for him." Organa's inner dialogue has  become a series of insane babbling.

"Any sign of the Space Ace?" he asks as he struggles to contain his nerves.

"None, sir. But we think we've spotted the Horsemen's space transport."

"Ready all the cannons, then. Perhaps the Spaceman hopes to take us unaware. We shall blow their ship on my command. Await my command!"

His actions now justified, Organa peers into the orb, and is puzzled by what he sees. A grey, craggy surface filled the palantir. The view begins to shift, and the surface begins to resemble a face.

"Oh sh-" begins Bail as it dawns on him what he's looking at, but it's too late. An Omega beam erupts from the Commandos palantir  and vaporizes the Death Star commander where he stands.

"Enough cowardice." growls Darkseid as he lowers his palantir. "Unleash hell"

And the Horsemen onslaught begins...

Commandos vs Horsemen

Horsemen of Apokolips are: Darkseid w/ Palantir, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Firestorm (Jason Rusch), Scar (Evil Guardian), White Lantern Sinestro, Annihilus, Black Bolt, Optimus Prime w/Roller, Obi Wan Kenobi in a Jedi V Wing, Harry Potter, Godzilla, Pinhead, Green Lantern Ryan Poteracki, C.M. Punk w/ Legion Flight Ring, Blue Lightsaber, Bruno Sammartino, Stitch w/Green Lightsaber, Bugs Bunny, The Celestial: Ace Frehley, and Darth Vader Sith Starfighter Transformer

President Barack Obama & Miley Cyrus' Touring Battalion of Commandos are: Kingdom Come Superman, Earth 2 Superman, Martian Manhunter, Vampire Orion, The Atom, Heimdall, Thanos, Captain Marvel (Mar-Vel), Aleta One "Aletamus Prime", Jen Linley w/ Yellow Infinity Gem, Judah Ben Hur w/ White Lantern Ring & Green Infinity Gem, Space Jockey w/ Orange Infinity Gem, Original Human Torch w/ Red Infinity Gem, Hermione Granger w/ Blue Infinity Gem, President Barack Obama w/ Purple Infinity Gem, Katniss Everdeen w/ Green Lantern Ring, Duke (G.I. Joe) w/ Green Lantern Ring, Anus the Touchable, Worm Becks, Dora w/ Boots, the Map & Backpack, Benny, Isa & Tico, Black Lantern Doozer #1, Black Lantern Jar Jar Binks, Tenderheart Bear, Doozer #13, The Death Star with the following crew members John Harrison, Worf w/ S.P.I.N. Tech, Bail Organa w/ Palantir, Xavier Harkonne, Frank Poole, and 3 L.M.D.s

 

He moves steathly through the Death Star, being extra careful not to alert it's owners to his presence. He knows that if he's caught he's probably done for, as he's seen first hand what awaits the Horsemen inside the massive space station. The planantir is pretty handy, but can you ever really trust what Darkseid is willing to show you? In any case, the mission is clear. The Infinity gems need to be taken off the board to insure the Horsemen victory. Stolen, destroyed, whatever. The main thing is that Thanos cannot be allowed to harness the power of all six. 

He decides to start with the red one, since if it controls energy and power it should be able to nullify the others if needed. He can feel the heat radiating from the Human Torch and begins to sweat. He withdraws the mini EMP and throws it, knowing he'll only have a few precious seconds to get the gem and fully put Jim Hammond out of commission. He rushes in to the room-stabbing the unmoving body of the Torch right between the eyes, feeling a little remorse as it's not a living being he's killed. 

It's then that he makes his mistake. He whispers "I'm sorry" to the lifeless body as he begins pressing on the Torch's hands to find the gem. It's something he doesn't think twice about, as he's seen his larger role in this battle. He didn't count on the super hearing of Kingdom Come Superman, who bursts onto the scene, and snaps the intruders neck before he even has time to process the wind on his face.

KC Supes hits the comm system in the room "It's done." he says gravely, taking no pleasure in what he's just done.

"Excellent. The LMD is on the way, already programmed. Make it look like there was a struggle so we can make the switch without raising their suspicions. I have other matter to attend to, and a betrayal to prepare for."

 

Season 7, Week 4 Match: Midget's Space Attack Real Man Kill Squad vs. Real Man's Rabblerousers

“Can you hear me, Major Tom?”

            -David Bowie [Space Oddity]

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 7, Week 4 Match located Beyond the Outer Rim.  They are as follows:

Midget’s Space Attack Real Man Kill Squad: Eradicator, Zombie Supergirl, White Lantern Hal Jordan (with red lantern ring, Alan Scott's magical green lantern ring, and Guy Gardner's yellow lantern ring), Tri-Eye, Queen Aga' Po, Blue Lantern #1, Beppo the Super Monkey, The Phoenix Force Entity, Black Lantern Phoenix (Rachel Summers), Space Usagi Yojimbo, Jotaro, Mangy Mouse (with Indigo Lantern Ring), Sky Lynx, Captain Power and R-2 Unit #3 in an A-Wing, Oppo Rancisis and R-2 Unit #4 in an A-Wing, Darth Talon and R-4 Unit #1 in an A-Wing, Bowser:  King of Koopa (with Larfleeze's Orange Lantern Ring), Power Dump, Zufa Cenva, Star Wolf in a B-Wing, Air Zimmell, Pre Viszla, Black Lantern Chris Seney, Black Lantern Ryan Poteracki and Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki.

Real Man’s Rabblerousers: Vampire Galactus, Black Lantern Ms. Marvel, Black Lantern Darth Rave, Kryptonian Soldiers #11-16, Slugslinger and Caliburst, Beast Wars: Optimal Primal, Rhinox, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Savage/Noble, Nightscream, Depth Charge, Scuba, Big Horn, Big Convoy, Blackarachnia and Benjy the dog.

Midget’s locker room. . .

Black Lantern Chris Seney (lifting his tattered costume’s sleeve):  Sssseeee the new etchingssssss on my dessicated corpsssssse?

Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki: I did’t know onessss could do that to onessssss dead ssskin.

Black Lantern Ryan Poteracki: That’ssssss nothing.  Look at my new tat. 

BLRP begins to pull his  pants down.

BLCS and BLSP (in unison): Whoa!!!  Whoa!!!! Whoa!!!

Rabblerousers locker room. . .

Benjy: Bark.  Bark.  Roof.  [Translation:  Teammates, I know that I am only a canine who probably does not belong in this match.  Nonetheless, I trust that the owner does not make these decisions without much thought and thus, I am honored to enter into battle with you all!]

A SPACESHIP SOARS INTO THE AREA AND BELCHES A SIREN, SIGNALING THE TEAMS TO ENTER INTO THE STAR ENCRUSTED SPACE BEYOND THE OUTER RIM.

Let the match begin. . .

Coordinate 1.756.372 . . .

Black Lantern Darth Rave soars through space, utilizing his ring to encase Benjy, keeping the canine safe from the severe vacuum.  Rave is suddenly surrounded by Black Lanterns Chris Seney, Ryan Poteracki and Shaun Poteracki.

BL Seney:  We’ll get you, my ugly!

BL Ryan Poteracki:. . . and your little dog too!

BL Rave immediately takes the initiative and ignites his lightsaber.  He propels himself toward BL Shaun Poteracki.  Before BLSP can react in his own defense, Rave skewers BLSP. 

BLCS:  Oh my G-d, he killed Shaun!

BLRP: You bastard!!!

Both Seney and the remaining Poteracki use their rings to destroy the force shielding which surrounds Benjy.  A loud pop is heard as the bubble around the dog is heard followed by a wet sloshing sound as Benjy explodes.

BL Rave is infuriated at the death of his canine comrade and rushes at the two Midget BLs.  BL Ms. Marvel sees teammate BL Rave racing toward the enemy and joins her ally.  It is only a matter of minutes before BL Rave and BL Marvel dispatch with the two faux BLs of the Midgets. 

Coordinate 3.529.835. . .

Captain Power and R-2 Unit #3 in an A-Wing, Oppo Rancisis and R-2 Unit #4 in an A-Wing, Darth Talon and R-4 Unit #1 in an A-Wing as well as Star Wolf in a B-Wing, combine forces and focus on Slugslinger and Caliburst.  The air defense robot tracks Captain Power and his A-Wing down.  After well precision laser fire strikes the A-Wing, both the ship and its driver, Power, along with his R2 unit, are destroyed.  The Decepticons then shift gears to tail Star Wolf, who manages to use his abilities to outflank the Decepticons.  Oppo Rancisis and Darth Talon take advantage of the Sky Fox moves and set upon the Transformers.  Eventually the target masters manage to kill Star Wolf.  The lupine falls in battle, but causes enough of a distraction that both Oppo Rancisis and Talon take advantage and combine both their weaponry and flying skills to destroy Slugslinger and Caliburst. 

Coordinate 2.274.211. . .

Black Lantern Phoenix Rachel Summers sees the immense Vampire Galactus.

VG:  You are but an ant to be squashed before my boot.

BLPRS:  My power is not to be trifled with blood sucker!

The Phoenix Force surges through the deadened Summers. 

BLPRS:  . . . and now for my sponsor. . .

The Phoenix Force entity screams to the scene and combines with Phoenix Summers.  The newly enhanced combatant unleashes its cosmic powers at Galactus, who becomes weakened.  Galactus and the Phoenix entity then duel to a near standstill.  Eventually the cosmic entities nullify one another, leaving both devastated. 

VG: Enough!!!

BLPRS: Agreed!!!

A large explosion erupts, ending with both the bodies of Summers and Galactus float toward a distant star, ready to be engulfed by the fiery heat.  As the Summers body closes in on the star, the Phoenix Force Entity careens away and flies toward the remaining battle.  BLPRS and Galactus die in a cosmic inferno.

Coordinate 0.27.1426. . .

Eradicator, Zombie Supergirl, White Lantern Hal Jordan, Tri-Eye, Queen Aga' Po, Blue Lantern #1 and Beppo the Super Monkey battle Kryptonian Soldiers #11-16 and a newly arrived BL Ms. Marvel and BL Darth Rave.  WL Jordan uses all of his rings at various times and with varying intensities to barrage BL Ms. Marvel.  The black lantern is ripped apart and dissipates before the White Lantern.  Tri-Eye, Queen Aga’Po and Blue Lantern #1 combine their powers to battle BL Darth Rave.  BLDR uses both his black lantern powers and lightsaber to rip out the heart of Queen Aga’Po and lop the head off of Blue Lantern #1.  It is only a matter of time though before Tri-Eye is joined by Zombie Supergirl, who together, destroy BLDR. 

Coordinate 0.397.443. . .

Realistically, the Beast Wars transformers were not created for space battle, but since they are Transformers, the robots hold their own against the enemy.   Each floats in their own area and focuses on the individual Midgets in order to destroy them systematically.  Cheetor reaches Space Usagi Yojimbo and mauls the rabbit.  Tigatron  and Airazor rip Jotaro apart.  Mangy Mouse uses his Indigo Lantern Ring to create a force field which buttresses the crushing blow of Rhinox, but staggers due to the blow, and partially defenseless, is killed by Savage/Noble and Rattrap.  Sky Lynx decides to battle Optimus Primal, but the Beast Wars’ leader, with the assistance of Blackarachnia, destroys the Midget hybrid. Bowser:  King of Koopa uses Larfleeze's Orange Lantern Ring to miraculously destroy Depth Charge, but Scuba and Nightscream kill Bowser.  Power Dump, Zufa Cenva, Air Zimmell and Pre Vizsla join forces to fight Dinobot, Silverbolt, Big Horn and Big Convoy.  Although the four Midgets manage to destroy Big Horn, they succumb to the superior forces of the other three Transformers.   

Coordinate 0.27.1426. . .

Eradicator, Zombie Supergirl, White Lantern Hal Jordan, Tri-Eye and Beppo the Super Monkey battle the Kryptonians.   WL Jordan manages to destroy Kryptonian Soldier #12.  Tri-Eye and Beppo both fall to Soldiers #11 and 15.  Eradicator responds, in kind, and destroys Kryptonian Soldiers #13 and 14.  Zombie Supergirl destroys Solider #11, but is killed by remaining Soldiers #15 and 16.  Eradicator and WL Jordan sense their teammate and turn their faces as the Phoenix Force Entity rips remaining Kryptonian Soldiers #15 and 16 apart.

Coordinate 0.397.446. . .

Optimal Primal, Rhinox, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Savage/Noble, Nightscream, Scuba, Big Convoy and Blackarachnia scoff as two A-Wings fly into their midst.  The amount of robots in the area cause the vehicles to enact serious countermeasures, thus, rocking the two pilots  back and forth.

Oppo Rancisis:  I can’t hold it.

Talon:  Stay on target.

Rancisis:  Can’t do it.

Talon: Stay on target.

Rancisis:  It’s certain death.

Talon: Stay on target you pu$$y!!!

Rancisis:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Rancisis is destroyed as Primal, Cheetor, Dinobot and Tigatron batter the A-Wing.  The remaining Transformers destroy Talon.

Coordinate 0.397.452. . .

Eradicator, White Lantern Hal Jordan and The Phoenix Force Entity face the Rabblerouser Transformers.  WL Jordan falls to the sheer number of robots, but Eradicator and Phoenix make up for this and destroy them in on foul swoop and sheer force.

 

 

Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. George Washington's Slaves

Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse is Yellow Lantern Bryan Beckerman, Tom Brady (w/ a blue lantern ring), Treasure Troll #9, Golden Army Soldier #1-25.

George Washington's Slaves are Jedi Master #3-10, Amazo, Batgirl (w/ black lightsaber), Loki, Wolverine, Ki Adi Mundi, Windcharger, Order of The Phoenix: James Potter, Lilly Potter, and Mad Eye Mooney, Lucius Malfoy, Santa Claus, Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Capt. Kirk, Capt. Picard, John Rambo, Athos, Porthos, Aremis, D' Artagian, Zack Morris, AC Slater, Screech, Jessie Spano, Lisa Turtle, Kelly Kapowski, Peter Griffin, Stewie, Brian, Lois, Meg, Chris, and Josh Houslander: Samurai Warrior.

Zero dark forty two. Point five.
“But…we….were…..friends…..no…..” Peter Griffin had passed out cold, a trickle of chartreuse liquid dribbling its way out of his parted lips and landing with a nearly imperceptible plop on the cracked floor tile beneath his double chin. When he’d accepted the job as a Mary Kay rep on board the Imperial Shuttle, he had not the faintest inkling that it would lead to his demise. As he tumbled down, down, down into the murky depths of his coma, he was unaware of the cackling spewing forth from the mouth of one Josh Houslander, Samurai Warrior.
Meanwhile………
Yellow Lantern Bryan Beckerman slammed the gear shift on his ’72 Nova SE (Space Edition) into 5th. He was driving free, though he was tense, acutely aware of the danger he was sure to come across that chilly morning. He glanced nervously behind him. He didn’t see anything…or did he? The car bounced steadily on, and he was glad he’d had the car serviced before all of this chaos ensued. He reached into the glove box and pulled out a packet of caffeine pills. He’d been driving for three days straight now and needed a pick-me-up. He threw a glance in the rearview mirror again. This time he was sure he’d seen something! “Bastard cats!” he spat angrily. They were everywhere now, slinking their way around space, plotting against them all. In the backseat, Treasure Troll #9 thought Bryan was losing his mind, but Bryan knew there was evil afoot. As he drove past a shopping center he saw an elderly woman trying to juggle several heavy bags. For a moment he considered stopping to help, but then figured it was just another damn cat in a costume.
He grabbed his mobile and dialed the one person he didn’t want to talk to, but he had no choice. The phone rang 39 times before a gruff voice said, “hello?”
“Brian? It’s Bryan. I know we’re enemies now, and you said never to call again after our scandalous tryst, but you’ve got to help!”
“Bryan….the thing is, I just ate my own poop. I can’t really talk right now.”
“Brian, listen to me!! I know he’s your friend, but Josh Houslander, Samurai Warrior is up to no good! You’re the only one who can get through to him and help rid us of this dangerous infestation!”
Brian gasped. “You don’t mean….”
“Yes. He’s putting his plot into action. You always suspected it. He’s not your teammate anymore Brian, he’s putting you all at risk.” Bryan Beckerman said gravely.
Brian sighed. “Oh my God, now we have a common enemy, we have to work together.”

Three days later……
“Muawahhahahaha!!!!” Josh giggled, a self-satisfied grin shellacked to his face. He was in his lab, relishing his new career as a mad scientist. His potion was working and his plan to turn all the people of the world into cats was going swimmingly. Investing all of his money into Tidy Cat was going to pay off yet! Peter Griffin had turned into a Siamese and was perched on the window sill while Josh worked on an unconscious Tom Brady whom he had kidnapped earlier that day; that blue lantern ring was of no help to Tom now. Sadly, Amazo, Batgirl, Wolverine, Ki Adi Mundi, Windcharger, Jedi Master 3-10, Loki, Santa Claus and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had also been transitioned into felines and were milling around the lab meowing.
Intending to stage an intervention, Brian Griffin burst through the door, followed by Lois, Meg, Stewie and Chris. Before Brian could take control of the situation, Stewie shot Lois dead. Behind him floated Lily and James Potter and Mad Eye Moody, all of whom had their wands ready. “Expelimookerus felinicus!!” they cried magically. Nothing happened. Lucius Malfoy rolled his eyes at them. In came Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. They just stood there doing reindeer things. Brian shook his head. This was not going the way he had hoped. Then Zach Morris came waltzing in with A.C. Slater, Kelly Kapowski, Lisa Turtle, Jesse Spano and Screech Powers. They were in the middle of orchestrating their own personal harebrained scheme against their former principal and failed to add anything to the situation.
Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Jean Luc Picard both came over the loud speaker to announce that they would be landing shortly, but were cut off, and all everyone heard were two blood curdling male screams. Seconds later Bryan Beckerman’s voice came booming through the speaker.
“You’ll never get away with this Josh!” The line went dead.
In spite of himself, Brian Griffin began barking and chasing the cats around. Just then, Bryan Beckerman, Treasure Troll #9 and Golden Army Soldier #1-25 bombarded the lab, knocking over bottles and splashing potion all over the place. It seemed everyone was turning into cats. It was pandemonium. Bryan knew what he had to do. Earlier that day he’d made a very important stop at the Bomb Emporium, where he’d spent every bit of spare change from the floor of his car. He also had a coupon he’d cut out of Incendiary Weekly that he’d been saving for months, just in case. He set the timer, motioned to his colleagues, and they hightailed it out of the lab. The explosion sent cat parts flying every which way. Brian Griffin landed with a sickening thud at Bryan’s feet, his life ebbing away. He gazed at Beckerman, love and admiration spilling from his remaining eye and he managed to share one final message with Bryan. “Stay gold Pony Boy, stay gold.”

s7w4- Commandos vs Horsemen

Horsemen of Apokolips are: Darkseid w/ Palantir, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Firestorm (Jason Rusch), Scar (Evil Guardian), White Lantern Sinestro, Annihilus, Black Bolt, Optimus Prime w/Roller, Obi Wan Kenobi in a Jedi V Wing, Harry Potter, Godzilla, Pinhead, Green Lantern Ryan Poteracki, Brandon Inge w/ Green Lantern Ring, Matt Oblak w/ Mandalorian Armor, Green & Blue Lightsabers, Dr. Teresa Oblak w/ Tron Light Suit & Light Disc, Blue & Green Lightsabers, C.M. Punk w/ Legion Flight Ring, Blue Lightsaber, Bruno Sammartino, Stitch w/Green Lightsaber, Bugs Bunny, The Celestial: Ace Frehley, and Darth Vader Sith Starfighter Transformer

President Barack Obama & Miley Cyrus' Touring Battalion of Commandos are: Kingdom Come Superman, Earth 2 Superman, Martian Manhunter, Vampire Orion, The Atom, Heimdall, Thanos, Captain Marvel (Mar-Vel), Aleta One "Aletamus Prime", Vorian Atreides & Astro Droid #19 in a Tie Interceptor, Jen Linley w/ Yellow Infinity Gem, Judah Ben Hur w/ White Lantern Ring & Green Infinity Gem, Space Jockey w/ Orange Infinity Gem, Original Human Torch w/ Red Infinity Gem, Hermione Granger w/ Blue Infinity Gem, President Barack Obama w/ Purple Infinity Gem, Katniss Everdeen w/ Green Lantern Ring, Movie Blackout w/ Atrocitus' Red Lantern Ring, Duke (G.I. Joe) w/ Green Lantern Ring, Anus the Touchable, Worm Becks, Dora w/ Boots, the Map & Backpack, Benny, Isa & Tico, Black Lantern Doozer #1, Black Lantern Jar Jar Binks, Tenderheart Bear, Doozer #13, The Death Star with the following crew members John Harrison, Worf w/ S.P.I.N. Tech, Bail Organa w/ Palantir, Xavier Harkonne, Frank Poole, and 3 L.M.D.s

"It's like a fireworks display." thinks Bail Organa to himself as the sky outside him flickers with the lights of battle outside. The thick glass of the Death Star mutes the sounds of battle that rage outside. A bright, almost blinding flash of light illuminates the darkness that Bail has withdrawn into as Vorian Atreides'  Interceptor is destroyed by Ben Kenobi's V Wing. Various lantern ring constructs appear and disappear at a frantic pace, as do their various wielders. A major source of these flickers is the mighty duo of Brandon Inge and Matt Oblak and their secret weapon.The destructive duo  has added a new trick to their arsenal, as Matt's wife Teresa's Tron lightsuit has coverted the doctor to a being of pure light energy that can be pulled from any of the weaponry that the two use. This has paid off in spades as the headless corpse of Katniss Everdeen floats along, another victim of the trio. They begin to tag team Blackout with Inge distracting the movie mammoth with his various constructs and Oblak sneaks up behind him. He uses his lighsabers with surgical precision to cut open a hole in Blackout's head giving him access to the circuitry of his brain. He aims his blaster and fires at the wires, uploading Teresa into his system. Blackout's eyes dim and then begin to flicker as Teresa begins to override Blackout and take over the body of the transformer. 

Matt smiles beneath his helmet knowing he's scored a major coup for his squad, but his victory is short lived as he turns and has his throat torn out by Vampire Orion.

"No!" screams Inge as he sees his best friend sent on to the graveyard. Orion hear the wail of emotional pain and barrels through the head of Blackout dispelling the exhausted Teresa across space before she could completely turn the robot to her control, along with the wreckage of his comrade Commando. Orion finds himself unable to get at the former Tiger as the light of the green ring is too bright for him to get any closer. Orion snarls "I'll return for you when you're not so bright" and disappears across the vastness of space in search of easier prey. Inge looks across the debris of space and makes a solem vow.

"You're going to burn, motherf**ker" as he takes off in search of the undead New God.

Season 7 Week 4: B-3 Vs. The Empire

Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeeyatches are: General Zod, White Lantern Kyle Rayner, Firestorm (Ronnie Raymond), Red Lantern Hal Jordan, Vampire Kilowog, Razer, Aya, Oblivion, Yellow Lantern #2, Zombie Galactus, Vampire Dark Phoenix, Thane , The Black Order (Proxima Midnight, Black Dwarf, Ebony Maw, Supergiant, Corvus the Glave), and Black Lantern Predator #1.

The Empire is: Silver Surfer, Red She-Hulk, Balder the Brave, Mother Askani, In-Betweener, Master Order, Lord Chaos, Indigo Lantern Sinestro, New X-Men (Surge, Prodigy, Blindfold, Rockslide, Mercury, Anole, and Gentle.), Lavos, Black Zero (DC), Black Zero (Megaman), Victory Saber, Reverse Flash, Ewok #76 w/Zapper and Proton Pack, and Luchador Assassin Chris Seney.

In space, no one can hear you scream... But they'll be able to hear you talk smack with the new FFL Brand Space Communicator 3000! As seen in this match! Order now!!!

General Zod flies directly at DC Black Zero, grabs him by the neck, and flies away with him. B-3's various Lanteerns and Firestorm are left to contend with The Empire's Indigo Lantern Sinestro, Lavos, Megaman's Black Zero, Victory Saber, Rockslide, and Mercury. Lavos tries the old "Apocalypse Special" trick on B-3, and a literal firestorm is decending on The Backyardigans. "Oh yeah!, I remember this guy!" exclaims a nostalgic Firestorm as he transmutes the fire bolts to harmless water. "Dude, Chrono Trigger was awesome!" agrees WL Kyle Rayner. "Do you remember how to beat this guy?" he asks. "C'mon man, I had a saved game right at the end!" replies Firestorm. The two approach the entrance to Lavos' shell, and have no problem getting in. They come across an Alien looking thing at the core. "Watch out for the laser teats!" warns Firestorm. "I got it." says WL Kyle, putting a shield between Lavos' core and themselves. The duo finally vanquish this form of Lavos, and the true core is revealed. "Ok, now we just gottta take out those weird orbs on the either side of the middle guy, then finish the middle guy off." explains WL Kyle. "What? No bro, we take out the middle thing first." counters Firestorm. "Seriously? I'm telling you, TAKE DOWN THE ORBS." advises WL Kyle. Firestorm transmutes Lavos to glass, he shatters the middle portion. A rumbling signals the end for Lavos. "Told ya." smiles Firestorm. "Whatever man, you kinda cheated." retorts WL Kyle. As time itself begins to go ape-sh*t from Lavos' death, the Firestorm Matrix isn't handling the fluxuations very well. "I... don't feel so good..." says Firestorm. "Dammit! I forgot. You're the guy that always explodes upon dying, right?" asks WL Kyle. "Yeah... heh... That's me... Sorry, man..." are the last words before both are killed in said explosion.

General Zod has strangled DC Black Zero for quite some time, but Black Zero finally struggles to be free. "Ha... Your facial hair is... interesting." says Zod with a smirk while he strokes his sweet goatee. "F*ck off, it was cool in the 90's." defends a soul-patched Black Zero. Zod speeds in, but is repelled quite a bit by the touch of Black Zero due to tactile telekinesis. Zod tries again, but is met with the same result. "Keep it coming, old man. I can do this all day." laughs Black Zero. Zod does indeed try again, but right before he reaches his target, he blasts heat vision directly into Zero's eyes. Zod flies behind the blinded and screaming Zero, and the General quickly breaks Zero's neck. "A fair effort, but a true Kryptonian will never fall to cloned scum." mocks Zod. "I must admit, it is nice to be on the good side of a neck breaking. I'll have to try that again sometime." he ponders to himself.

"SINESTRO!!! RRRR.... KILL YOU!!!" screams a frenzied Red Lantern Hal Jordan. He leads Razer, Aya, Yellow Lantern #2, Vampire Killowog, and Black Lantern Predator into the fight. Indigo Lantern Sinestro quickly channels the energy of a Blue Lantern, and destroys RL Hal and Razer's rings. They die soon after without their "hearts". Yellow Lantern #2 notices his ring is also losing it's change. Black Zero (Megaman) notices this and takes advantage, using his Z-Saber to cleave Yellow Lantern #2's head clean off. An energy blast hits Zero in the back. He turns around to face Black Lantern Predator #1. "You'll have to do better than that, creature!" says Black Zero as he raises his sword. BL Predator #1 pops his claw to challenge. They both charge to each other, and strike Anime style. Behind Zero, BL Predator falls after a dramatic second. Then he rises dramatically due to his ring. "So, you want more, do you?" says the determined robot hunter. Zero charges in, changing his style of blade with every strike he makes. The onslaught of laser, flame, and thunder energy is too much for the Black Lantern ring, and BL Predator #1 is no more. Black Zero regroups with Indigo Lantern Sinestro to face Aya and Vampire Kilowog. "Too bad it came to this Aya. You don't seem like a Maverick robot. I'm sorry." regrets Black Zero. Indigo Lantern Sinestro channels Red Lantern energy and starts to drain their green power rings. Aya and V. Kilowog look to each other with a nod, and empty their remaining energy on the Empire's pair in the form of an intense raw energy beam. They succeed, but only have enough power for life support. Victory Saber flies in to relieve the Lanterns' of their duty with the quickness. The Transformer spots The Silver Surfer in the distance, and decides to join him. Rockslide and Mercury continue to float unnoticed. "Great, he was our last chance to not float aimlessly in space! What now?" asks Mercury. "Um... I'm thinking..." replies Rockslide.

Norrin Radd and Victory Saber search for Zombie Galactus, and eventually find him predictably setting up shop on a soon to be consumed planet. They are stopped by Vampire Dark Phoenix. "Oh, Norrin, I would have thought that even you had tired of this by now. You should know better." smiles V. Dark Phoenix. "And I would think that The Phoenix would know better than to be a herald for this perversion of my former master." counters Surfer. "You would have been right at one time, but I have also been corrupted. He shares the slightest of his energies with me to regulate my vampirism, and I, ..... well, you know the rest, don't you?" she laughs. "I've heard enough of this madness. I will wipe you abominations from the memory of the universe." vows The Silver Surfer. Cosmic fire consumes The Surfer and Victory Saber. The Transformer is slagged, and The Surfer is blasted back. Norrin Radd shakes off the fire, and soars to V. Dark Phoenix. She attempts another blast, but The Surfer expects it and rides atop the fire. He is eventually able to redirect it, right into Zombie Galactus' back. "NNAAARRGH!!!" roars Z. Galactus. I haven't used any "cosmic zombie" since I left high school, but I think he said: "All heralds eventually betray me, but this is a new record." "Master... Noooo!!! It was him!!! Let me explain!" begs Vampire Dark Phoenix. Deadly, deadly eye beams of death aren't hearin it, and V. Dark Phoenix is destroyed. Norrin Radd looks upon his former master with pity. "What have they done to you?" asks a empathic Surfer. "NRRRG!!! RAAHRR!!!" ("Do not lament my current state, my former herald, for the universe has a plan. Do not feel pity, for I feel none for you.") mumbles Z. Galactus. He raises a hand and takes his lent energy back from Norrin Radd. As the powerless Surfer suffocates in space, his pure Power Cosmic begins destroying the tainted Zombie Galactus. The eternally entwined pair dies together.

The In-Betweener confronts a sneering Oblivion. "My masters have sent me with a message. You are to return the souls you took from The Empire, for they are under the protection of Master Order and Lord Chaos." states The In-Betweener. Oblivion laughs heartily at his request. "Your request is a joke. Even you know this to be true. They have no power over me. Furthermore, your team placed those souls in my hand the instant they appeared in this environment ill-equipped. Thane and The Black Order craved my presence, and I was happy to deliver. This is what I am. If I oblige my own team, what chance does yours have?" mocks Oblivion. He continues. "I'm afraid your masters knew this as well. They have sent you not as a messenger, but as a distraction. I'm sure that you can no longer feel their presence, as they have fled. They are not foolish enough to trifle with me." declares Oblivion. The In-Betweener is frozen in disbelief at his realisation. "Rest assured In-Betweener, I will reward you for your actions! You may gaze upon my true form!" cackles Oblivion as The In-Betweener ceases to be.

Mercury and Rockslide continue to float in space. "Come on Santo, think of something!" says Mercury. "This sucks, Cess, but I think we're stuck here until somebody wins." answers Rockslide. "Do you think we pulled it off?" asks Mercury. "At this rate, who knows? We might be here for a while." he says, unaware of an approaching General Zod.