Week 2 Democracy: The Striders Of Rohan vs The Empire of Evil Midgets

 Striders are John Wick in a Ferrari California, Cliff booth, Rick Dalton, & Cliff Booth's Dog in a La Ferrari, Winter Soldier, Mew, Mewtoo, Dion, Trailbreaker,  Morg w/ a Red Lantern Ring, and Warpath.

Empire of Evil Midgets are Orion, Supergirl, White Lantern Batman (last life), Talia Al Ghul and Hawkeye in a Jeep Wrangler, and Princess Leia w/ a Speed Ring in. F-18.

TEAM Vs. George Washington's House Elves

 TEAM is Chris Artrip (in a Tanooki Suit), Julie Artrip (w/ a Fire Flower), Ella Artrip (in a Frog Suit), Jack Artrip(w/ a Racoon Leaf) w/ his sidekick Ewok #7, Ben Artrip (in a Goomba Sock), Mandalorian Clan Leader Adam Hernandez, Mandalorian Armorer Kate Hernandez, Foundling Jackson Hernandez, and Mandalorian Eric Gilson, The FFL Crew:  Commissioner Josh (w/ a green lantern ring), Vice Commish Alex (w/ Air bending staff), Vice Commish Chris (w/ Loki's Sceptre), Kyle (w/ air bending staff), Zack (w/ air bending staff), Dave (w/ Wii Mote), Frank (w/ Red Lantern Ring), Ethan (w/ force saber), Conner (w/ speed ring), Ed (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Laya (w/ blue lantern ring), & Spencer, Bashar Miles Teg, and Junkeon #1-4.

George Washington's House Elves are Han Solo, Chewbacca, & Ben Kenobi.

Han and Chewie meet up with Old Ben outside the Cantina as they are all heading in there for an afternoon of strong drinks and catchy music.  "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy" Ben says to the pair in regards to the hot spot they are about to head into.  

"Yeah, I've heard that before" replies Captain Solo.

"No...  I really mean it.  It is worse than usual.  There are a particularly bad group of De-Gens in this place today".  The old Jedi Master states as they reluctantly walk inside.  

  The Artrips are off in the corner attempting to have a nice family meal, despite the shady nature of this place.  Tanooki Chris is enjoying his meal, his blue milk, and the quaint afternoon as the Patriarch of his beautiful family; but he can't help but be just slightly jealous of the other sceptre wielding Chris on the other side of the room who is partying it up with the homies, smoking death sticks, and throwing back illegal, alien blood drinks like they used to speak of in the EU literature before Disney bought out the franchise.  Han, Chewie, and Kenobi sit down and all order a tall glass of spice beer (yeah, they have that in Star Wars too).  They are trying to mind their own business; but can't help but notice Alex and Kyle hellaciously screaming at the large projectors about the terrible call the Referee just made against The Tatooine Krayt Dragons in their sportsball exhibition against their big rival The Malastare Energy Sources.  Han starts to get a bit annoyed with the overly tenacious group of obnoxious humans, causing Old Ben to tell him that "He had better let it go".  

But Chewie can't seem to get past his own temper and decides that he is going to go have a growl with the manager.  The 7' tall Wookie walks past a table of fully armored peeps on the way to the bar causing Adam to say:  "This is the way" to Kate who replies with:  "This is the Way", prompting Jackson to say:  "This is the Way", right before Eric mutters:  "This is the Way".  

But, before Chewie can even make it to the bar, he is hit the face with some nachos thrown by Frank in a random act of food violence.  This causes some uproarious laughter from the other side of the establishment from Jack Artrip who is less than half way done with his exotic meal of Kawakian Monkey Lizard Legs and fried Dug Nugs, despite everyone else in his family having already finished their House Special Banta Burger and fries.  Needless to say the chaotic event has pushed Chewie into a full Wookie rage and it is on like Donkey Kong.  As soon as it looks like things about to get messy, Han shoots first as he always does and puts a blaster bolt right between Spencer's eyes.  Ben Kenobi pops his lightsaber open and meets the entire Hernandalorian team head on.  I know Adam never reads matches on this blog; so I don't need to worry about not making a big deal about Kenobi using dem Jedi skillz to move through them all like it ain't no thang on the way to the incredibly fast moving Miles Teg.  Teg moves with speeds as fast as the human body will possibly allow; but Ben still manages to get a lightsaber in the center of his motions to function as a brake and put a stop to the Bene Gesserit military commander.  Laya isn't paying too much attention to the ongoing battle because she is busy serving drinks and food to the patrons, having to get a job while in Tatooine because her Dad doesn't have enough money to support her while she is there in College.  Conner grabs a thermal detonator off of Gilson's suit and chucks it at Kenobi, who bats it away with his lightsaber into the non-smoking family section of the establishment where the Artrips and others are being brought dessert by Laya, who is simultaneously charging her Dad's green lantern ring to 200% with her own blue lantern ring.  Conner runs to that area in an attempt to intercept the thermal detonator; but is unsuccessful.  Ben Kenobi then enters into a pitched battle (first shout out of the year to Becks) with Josh, who has created a green energy sword and shield with his ring after throwing back a few White Claws with Jack who had wondered away from the family area with his homie Ewok #7.  The Ewok had thought that him and Josh still had beef, after he had defected from Josh's team last season; but the two midgets hugged it out and we all cool now.  

Han is still blasting like crazy and takes aim at the two loudest people in the bar, who are naturally Alex and Kyle.  The two of them hadn't noticed that a fight had broken out.  Chewie must have all of his zeta upgrades, because he is shooting every time Han does.  This helps take out Frank and Ethan who are spitting game at the same blue twi-lek chick, along with old man Parks, who is messing with his Wii Mote, whilst smoking one of those funny death sticks that Mr. Top used to warn us about at Franklin High School.  Chewie, in full wookie berserk mode ripped off the under-sized scrotum of Ed and blasted it into the face of Loki Sceptre Vice-Commish Chris before Bashar Miles Teg runs through his body at Flash like speeds.  Oh....  Wait....  Miles Teg is already dead isn't he.  A little early in the season to be making mistakes like this.  I guess this paragraph is a flashback (get it, flashback because Miles Teg is super fast).  Yeah, that's it.  

Junkeon #1-4 burst into the establishment from where they were waiting outside because they don't even serve their kind in here.  They turn the skirmish into a full out ruckus s they transform into their motorcycle form and run over Han Solo while accidently running over their teammate Zack in an act of "Friendly Tire" (get it, friendly tire, because they are motorcycles).  The Junkeons then go to the trash compactor, because they are junk.  

Kenobi and his worthy adversary Josh are still going at it, when Old Ben informs him that "if he strikes him down he will become more powerful than he can possibly imagine"; but Josh already knew that because he has seen a New Hope like a gazillion times in the last forty years.  They do some seriously fancy foot work; but inevitably after some gnarly spin moves, stab each other at the same time and join one another in death.  

Jack and his Ewok buddy are devastated to see all this carnage; but at least they have Jabba's Palace to themselves now......

Week 1: Bubbles vs. Shorties

 Bubbles: Anakin Skywalker w/ yellow lantern ring, Ahsoka Tano w/ star sapphire ring, Sandtrooper on Dewback, Rebel Soldiers #12-14 (final death for #12-13)

Shorties: Yoda w/ white lantern ring and dwarf ring #5, Duncan Idaho w/ double-bladed red and purple lightsaber in a T-16 Sky-Hopper, Earth Bender #5 w/ red lightsaber in Ratts Tyrelle’s Pod, Earth Bender #6 w/ blue lightsaber and starman from Mario

Skyguy and Ahsoka rush into Jabba’s Palace, ready to finally rid Tatooine of its retched crime boss. Anakin yells “IT’S OVER JAB…” but stops when he realizes Jabba no longer sits at the throne. Instead, a familiar face sits at the oversized chair, “Expect me, you did not.” At his right stands a tall Duncan Idaho who now wields the weapon of a force wielder.

Meanwhile outside, the Sandtrooper and Rebel Soldiers were met by the Earth Benders #5 and #6 who quickly bent the sand to make the Dinomites drown in sand, along with all the vehicles. The Earth Benders now walk back into the Palace and meet with the rest of the crew in the throne room. Skyguy speaks to Yoda, “What are you doing? This isn’t the Jedi way!” Yoda responds calmly, “The Jedi way, you speak of. What of Padme?” Anakin quickly becomes flustered and infuriated, “You don’t speak of her!” Yoda replies, “Your judgment, emotions cloud.” Anakin finally has had enough and jumps at the Grand Master.

As Anakin moves towards Yoda, he realizes his yellow lantern ring is not powering him up. “Fear you, I do not.” says Yoda. Instead, Anakin goes for the two Earth Benders and mows through them like younglings. Although, he didn’t enjoy it as much since they weren’t little kids he was killing. Meanwhile, Duncan Idaho moves towards the padawan. Unfortunately for him, he is not as skilled in the use of lightsabers as is the form four wielding badass AHSOKA TANOOOOOO. She shreds through Idaho with such amazing acrobats that he wasn’t able to counter. 

All that stands is the Grand Master against Skyguy and his padawan. Anakin is still not being powered by his yellow lantern ring since Yoda fears not of Anakin, but instead Yoda is becoming more powerful with his white lantern ring. Anakin is a very formidable fighter and holds his own for a while against the great Yoda, but in the end Yoda moves too quickly for Anakin to counter and ends with a blade in his back. Yoda leans over and says to Anakin “Destroy the Jedi order, you will not.” And as he finishes his sentence, he calmly accepts death from Ahsoka Tano, knowing he at least prevented the sith from gaining their most valuable asset. In his last words, he says to Ahsoka, “Form four, you have mastered. A bad bitch, you have become.”

Week 1: Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Be Gentle: Piccolo w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Darth Sion w/ Red Lantern Ring, Dr. Conner Weidman w/ Power Ring, 5 elves, 2 Velociraptors,

Turrible Decisions: White Suit Anakin Skywalker, Yaddle (4 deaths)

The deadly Dr.Weidman and his troops have now taken what was known as Jabba's Palace and turned it into Dr.Weidman's lair.  Anakin Skywalker approaches Jabba's palace and expected to see Jabba but all he saw was a nicotine buzzed Dr.Weidman.  The place now smelled of cheap cologne and cigarettes.  Anakin disappointed to seeing what this place now is and begins to question Dr.Weidman.  Dr.Weidman was not going to be disrespected in his own lair and sends his velociraptors charging at Skywalker.  He quickly backs up putting Skywalker on top of a metal grate.  Skywalker quickly slays both the velociraptors, but the damage has already been done.  Weidman starts to laugh and opens the grate dropping Skywalker into the pit.  Weidman continues his laughter and says "I'm gonna make you box cuzzie."

Now trapped in the pit Skywalker realises there is no way out until a door opens up.  A man began walking out of the doors though.  It was Piccolo, one of the strongest warriors from Namek.  *alright boys we got a battle brewin a former sith lord vs. a saiyan slayer* Highly trained in martial arts Piccolo and Skywalker begin to box it out old fashioned blowing deadly blows to each other.  Skywalker knows he can't take much more of the hand to hand combat and quickly pulls out his light saber and slices off the left hand of Piccolo.  Piccolo is quickly able to regenerate his hand and moves at the speed of the light trying to headbutt Skywalker but the skilled Jedi is to much for Piccolo and is able to dodge the attack again slicing Piccolo's hand off, but this time he doesn't have enough power to regenerate his hand. Piccolo still going on the offensive attacks Skywalker dealing significant damage.  On the brink of death someone emerges from the shadows.

From the shadows appears Yaddle who had been secretly spying on Dr.Weidman and recognized Skywalker.  Swiftly knocking out Dr.Weidman Yaddle opens the pit and jumps in to save a wounded Skywalker.  Yaddle uses morichro on Piccolo to slow down his body and slowly kill him.  Unable to regenerate from the battle with Skywalker, Piccolo succumbs to morichro and dies in the pit. 

A angered Dr.Weidman wakes up and jumps into the pit himself.  With the abilities of his power ring Dr.Weidman blows a deadly strike to Skywalker decapitating him in the process.  Yaddle and Weidman start to box themselves.   Another jedi master begins to overpower their opponent.  Even with the power of his power ring Weidman is not able to fend off Yaddle.  On the brink of death Weidman begins to laugh.  He says in laughter "You think someone like me can run this?  I'm not at the top of this here.  You have no idea who you are messing with right now."

Yaddle replies "That is exactly why I'm here" while simultaneously slicing the head off of Weidman with Skywalker's lightsaber.

"Very well done Yaddle" a voice says from the shadows.

"So you finally show yourself" says a confident Yaddle.

It's Darth Sion who finally shows himself and his elves.  His elves egger to get in on the action  attack Yaddle.  Yaddle quickly slays all five of the elves and laughs "If that was your plan you are dumber than I anticipated."

Becoming enraged all of his minions are now dead and is being mocked by a woman Darth Sion quickly begins to attack.  When enraged Darth Sion is almost impossible to defeat, but Yaddle has been studying waiting to get her chance at Sion and is prepared.  Yaddle quickly starts to win the fight, but this fight was all but over from the start.  Sion calls upon the power of his new acquired Red Lantern Ring in which he received from Dr.Weidman and explains their relationship.  His anger is able to double with his powers.  Darth Sion's force is now to powerful for the experienced Yaddle to handle and is choked to death with the power of the force.  Darth Sion is once again all alone and needs to build himself another team to front so he can continue to hide in the shadows. 

Week 1: Crack Danks vs. Affirmative Action Popeyes

Crack Danks: Mace Windu, 

The Chicken from Family guy w/ a Force Saber,  

and Cole MacGrath

Affirmative Action Popeyes: The Bad Batch: Crosshair, 

Wrecker, Tech, Echo and Hunter, and Iroh

The battle starts out with Affirmative Action Popeyes already inside of Jabba’s Palace patiently waiting on Crack Danks to arrive. Popeyes has already set up a strong defense inside of the Throne Room inside of Jabba’s palace, Wrecker has set up explosives at the bottom of the stairs that enter the Throne Room while the rest of the Bad Batch is set up in defensive positions. Iroh is meditating in the center of the Throne Room on the floor. 

Crack Danks has arrived at Jabba's Palace and proceeds down the stairs to enter the Throne Room, once they reach the bottom of the stairs Wrecker sets off his explosives. Windu and The Chicken brace themselves and after a second of bracing themselves they realize they have not been damaged, they look up and see that Cole MacGrath has absorbed all the fire from the explosives which only makes him stronger. This shocks the Bad batch as they’ve never seen something like that before. The Bad Batch then proceed to open fire on Crack Danks from their defensive positions. Mace and The Chicken use their Sabers to deflect the blasts to defensive positions while Cole runs to the nearest table and flips it over to defense but while he was running to the table Crosshair hits him in the thigh damaging Cole. Cole uses his newly absorbed energy to make a napalm Grenade and throws it to where Hunter was stationed and kills the Bad Batch member. Cole uses the rest of his stored up energy to heal himself while in cover. 

The Chicken charges Echo while deflecting shots with his force saber and cuts Echo in half. This angers Wrecker and he proceeds to sprint and tackle The Chicken from behind. Wrecker kicks The Chicken’s Force Saber away, The Chicken and The Wrecker have a long drawn out fist fight using random items throughout the Throne Room, much like a fight between The Chicken and Peter Griffin, eventually Wrecker over powers The Chicken and grabs a stool, breaks a leg off the stool and shoves it through The Chicken’s eye killing him. 

While this Chicken and Wrecker fight was going on Cole has heals himself, but is now out of absorbed energy. Cole runs towards Tech and sucks the electrical energy out of Tech’s visor and various other electronic gadgets. Cole uses this new energy to shock Tech to death. Cole then sucks the electrical energy out of Echo’s cyborg parts of his body and does the same thing that was done to Tech. Cole then shoots multiple lightning shots at Iroh but he absorbs and deflects every single one with ease. Cole sees The Chicken’s Force Saber on the ground and picks it up, he absorbs all off its energy and this maxes out Cole’s energy absorption capacity. Just as he finishes absorbing it, Iroh hits Cole with a lightning blasts, this is too much energy in Cole’s body and thus kills him.

While Iroh and Cole were fighting, Mace Windu had snuck up behind Crosshair and cuts his head off with his Saber. Mace then sees The Chicken get a stool leg shoved through his eye, Mace runs towards Wrecker and stabs him in the chest with his saber. 

Now all that’s left is Mace and Iroh, they both recognize their fighting abilities and give each other nods of respect and then they proceed to battle. Iroh starts off with a fire blast that Mace dodges, then Iroh shoots a blast of lightning at Mace but he uses his Light Saber to absorb the blast. Mace then charges and does a flurry of attacks at Iroh that the fire bender dodges, but he realizes that the Jedi is much quicker than he is. Eventually, after a long battle, Mace eventually is able to slash both of Iroh’s ACLs with his saber, bringing The Dragon of the West to his knees. Mace then gives Iroh a clean warrior’s death. Finally allowing Iroh to get back with his son in the afterlife.