TEAM Vs. George Washington's House Elves

 TEAM is Chris Artrip (in a Tanooki Suit), Julie Artrip (w/ a Fire Flower), Ella Artrip (in a Frog Suit), Jack Artrip(w/ a Racoon Leaf) w/ his sidekick Ewok #7, Ben Artrip (in a Goomba Sock), Mandalorian Clan Leader Adam Hernandez, Mandalorian Armorer Kate Hernandez, Foundling Jackson Hernandez, and Mandalorian Eric Gilson, The FFL Crew:  Commissioner Josh (w/ a green lantern ring), Vice Commish Alex (w/ Air bending staff), Vice Commish Chris (w/ Loki's Sceptre), Kyle (w/ air bending staff), Zack (w/ air bending staff), Dave (w/ Wii Mote), Frank (w/ Red Lantern Ring), Ethan (w/ force saber), Conner (w/ speed ring), Ed (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Laya (w/ blue lantern ring), & Spencer, Bashar Miles Teg, and Junkeon #1-4.

George Washington's House Elves are Han Solo, Chewbacca, & Ben Kenobi.

Han and Chewie meet up with Old Ben outside the Cantina as they are all heading in there for an afternoon of strong drinks and catchy music.  "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy" Ben says to the pair in regards to the hot spot they are about to head into.  

"Yeah, I've heard that before" replies Captain Solo.

"No...  I really mean it.  It is worse than usual.  There are a particularly bad group of De-Gens in this place today".  The old Jedi Master states as they reluctantly walk inside.  

  The Artrips are off in the corner attempting to have a nice family meal, despite the shady nature of this place.  Tanooki Chris is enjoying his meal, his blue milk, and the quaint afternoon as the Patriarch of his beautiful family; but he can't help but be just slightly jealous of the other sceptre wielding Chris on the other side of the room who is partying it up with the homies, smoking death sticks, and throwing back illegal, alien blood drinks like they used to speak of in the EU literature before Disney bought out the franchise.  Han, Chewie, and Kenobi sit down and all order a tall glass of spice beer (yeah, they have that in Star Wars too).  They are trying to mind their own business; but can't help but notice Alex and Kyle hellaciously screaming at the large projectors about the terrible call the Referee just made against The Tatooine Krayt Dragons in their sportsball exhibition against their big rival The Malastare Energy Sources.  Han starts to get a bit annoyed with the overly tenacious group of obnoxious humans, causing Old Ben to tell him that "He had better let it go".  

But Chewie can't seem to get past his own temper and decides that he is going to go have a growl with the manager.  The 7' tall Wookie walks past a table of fully armored peeps on the way to the bar causing Adam to say:  "This is the way" to Kate who replies with:  "This is the Way", prompting Jackson to say:  "This is the Way", right before Eric mutters:  "This is the Way".  

But, before Chewie can even make it to the bar, he is hit the face with some nachos thrown by Frank in a random act of food violence.  This causes some uproarious laughter from the other side of the establishment from Jack Artrip who is less than half way done with his exotic meal of Kawakian Monkey Lizard Legs and fried Dug Nugs, despite everyone else in his family having already finished their House Special Banta Burger and fries.  Needless to say the chaotic event has pushed Chewie into a full Wookie rage and it is on like Donkey Kong.  As soon as it looks like things about to get messy, Han shoots first as he always does and puts a blaster bolt right between Spencer's eyes.  Ben Kenobi pops his lightsaber open and meets the entire Hernandalorian team head on.  I know Adam never reads matches on this blog; so I don't need to worry about not making a big deal about Kenobi using dem Jedi skillz to move through them all like it ain't no thang on the way to the incredibly fast moving Miles Teg.  Teg moves with speeds as fast as the human body will possibly allow; but Ben still manages to get a lightsaber in the center of his motions to function as a brake and put a stop to the Bene Gesserit military commander.  Laya isn't paying too much attention to the ongoing battle because she is busy serving drinks and food to the patrons, having to get a job while in Tatooine because her Dad doesn't have enough money to support her while she is there in College.  Conner grabs a thermal detonator off of Gilson's suit and chucks it at Kenobi, who bats it away with his lightsaber into the non-smoking family section of the establishment where the Artrips and others are being brought dessert by Laya, who is simultaneously charging her Dad's green lantern ring to 200% with her own blue lantern ring.  Conner runs to that area in an attempt to intercept the thermal detonator; but is unsuccessful.  Ben Kenobi then enters into a pitched battle (first shout out of the year to Becks) with Josh, who has created a green energy sword and shield with his ring after throwing back a few White Claws with Jack who had wondered away from the family area with his homie Ewok #7.  The Ewok had thought that him and Josh still had beef, after he had defected from Josh's team last season; but the two midgets hugged it out and we all cool now.  

Han is still blasting like crazy and takes aim at the two loudest people in the bar, who are naturally Alex and Kyle.  The two of them hadn't noticed that a fight had broken out.  Chewie must have all of his zeta upgrades, because he is shooting every time Han does.  This helps take out Frank and Ethan who are spitting game at the same blue twi-lek chick, along with old man Parks, who is messing with his Wii Mote, whilst smoking one of those funny death sticks that Mr. Top used to warn us about at Franklin High School.  Chewie, in full wookie berserk mode ripped off the under-sized scrotum of Ed and blasted it into the face of Loki Sceptre Vice-Commish Chris before Bashar Miles Teg runs through his body at Flash like speeds.  Oh....  Wait....  Miles Teg is already dead isn't he.  A little early in the season to be making mistakes like this.  I guess this paragraph is a flashback (get it, flashback because Miles Teg is super fast).  Yeah, that's it.  

Junkeon #1-4 burst into the establishment from where they were waiting outside because they don't even serve their kind in here.  They turn the skirmish into a full out ruckus s they transform into their motorcycle form and run over Han Solo while accidently running over their teammate Zack in an act of "Friendly Tire" (get it, friendly tire, because they are motorcycles).  The Junkeons then go to the trash compactor, because they are junk.  

Kenobi and his worthy adversary Josh are still going at it, when Old Ben informs him that "if he strikes him down he will become more powerful than he can possibly imagine"; but Josh already knew that because he has seen a New Hope like a gazillion times in the last forty years.  They do some seriously fancy foot work; but inevitably after some gnarly spin moves, stab each other at the same time and join one another in death.  

Jack and his Ewok buddy are devastated to see all this carnage; but at least they have Jabba's Palace to themselves now......