George Washington's Slaves are Yoda, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1-15, Wedge Antilles, Adm. Ackbar, Cosmos, Beowolf, Thor, Collossus, Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee, Corbin Dallas, Crash Bandicoot, Bill Rizer & Lance Beam, Marty Mcfly, Bebop & Rocksteady, Jason Bourne, T-1000, Kyle Reese, Santa Claus w/ Rudolf, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, Capt. Jame Tiberius Kirk, Starship Trooper #1-31, Wesley Willis, Gonzo & Camilla the Chicken, Larry, Moe, & Curly, Bender "Bending" Rodriguez, Jimmy Nuetron, Sonny Chiba, Sonny (from I-Robot), & Metroid #19 & 20.
The Syracuse Valley is Omega Red, Darth Maul, Sith Lord #4, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, & Ratbat, Master Chief, Venom, Sonic the Hedgehog & Tails, Bossk, Xenomorph #85-100, Kree Soldier #1-50, Moritani Soldier #1-15, Star Fox, Nightcrawler, Fire Bros. #1-10, Little Goomba #1-63, Navy Sailor #60-87, & Treasure Troll #4.
Almost all of George Washington's Slaves are inside Cosmos in his flying saucer form except for The Starship Troopers in their super-powered battle suits who are on top of the Autobot ready to attack. The only trooper not with them is Trooper #25 who is in the back of Santa's Sleigh. Beowolf which is acting as the wing man for Cosmos is off to the side. Also with Santa are Sonny and Corbin Dallas; flanking Santa and his custom space suit covered reindeer is Jimmy Nuetron in a small ship he devised over the last week which is barely big enough to carry Gen. Stonewall Jackson and his 2 new favorite crack troops the Contra Boys Bill Rizer and Lance Beam. They also did not trust the Metroids so they are floating outside as well. The Syracuse Valley, much to the dismay of their undesignated leader Master Chief do not have much of anything to ride in so they are basically free-floating in the depths of space on a small asteroid. Cosmos and his small convoy approach the meteor but Adm. Ackbar gives the order to hang back and play it safe. Treasure Troll #4 in an act of sheer genius decides to take off his space helmet to fix his purple hair. He dies shortly after this incident. Master Chief sees that he is going to have to begin the attack. He says "Lord Maul, I will send in the Xenomorphs first to divert the attention of their sentries then it is up to you to get inside after Rumble and Frenzy break through the hull". He then adds "Senior Chief Soundwave; have Rumble & Frenzy carry The Sith Lords to the ship then it is up to them to penetrate Cosmos, first they'll have to crack the shell then we'll crack the nuts inside". Soundwave ejects Rumble, Frenzy, Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, and Ratbat. Rumble and Frenzy grab the Sith Lords by the shoulders and the 3 winged Decepticons grab the large cage that they are using to house the 16 Xenomorphs. They all fly over to Cosmos. Lazerbeak and his fellow tapes drop the cage over the top of Cosmos and then immediately fly back and dock inside the tape deck of Soundwave. The Xenomorphs drop on to the top of Cosmos but the Starship Troopers are already shooting them as they fall onto the ship and begin their attack. Adm. Ackbar, may be in charge of the fleet but Capt. Kirk is in charge of what goes on with the men inside Cosmos so he gives the following order. He says "Yoda, (long pause)........... take (short pause)... your jedi.... up top and assist the troopers. Hurry........ before it's to late". He then paused and jerked his head to the side and then quickly sat down in the chair that he made them bolt into Cosmos before they left the base". Casualties are high on both sides as the Starship Troopers battle with the Xenomorphs. The Troopers fire away but once the aliens get in close the tide of the battle turns. When the space suit covered Jedi get on top of the ship the only aliens remaining are #87, 91, & 99. These 3 Xenomorphs are standing in front of The 2 Sith Lords who Yoda views as the real threat until Rumble and Frenzy begin to pound there hammer arms into the hull of Cosmos. "By Odin, what in Asgard is going on out there" says Thor. Capt. Kirk and Adm. Ackbar then order Collossus, Arisia , & Martian Manhunter to check it out. The 3 of them fly out of the side hatch (Collossus is being carried by Martian Manhunter) and come around to attack them from behind. Yoda yells "attack we must" and without further instruction the Jedi Masters know exactly what to do. Jedi Mater #1-15 attack the 3 remaining Xenomorphs. The Xenomorph's manage to rip apart Master #3 & 8 before the Jedi kill them but then Jedi Masters #6,7, & 15 find out the hard way that a melee attack is not the best way to kill a Xenomorph as their concentrated acid blood eats away at their space suits, causing them to suffocate. Yoda tells Ki Adi Mundi and Shaak Ti "Handle the master I will, the apprentice should for you be defeatable". Yoda moves at Darth Maul in such a flurry that Maul can barely move fast enough to defend himself against the tiny Jedi. Yoda then jumps over Darth Maul's head using both the force and the anti-gravity environment to easily propel himself over the Sith and then stabs his lightsaber into his neck on the way down. Darth Rave looks on in amazement and for a second before he is attacked wonders if he has chosen the right side of the force to be on. Ki Adi and Shaak Ti move against Darth Rave in unison. Darth Rave has been trained very well when it comes to combat but is not exactly a true master of the force. He may have put up a fight against one of these 2 Jedi Council members but togeather they made very short work of him. Master Mundi ties up his red lightsabers and then Shaak Ti finishes him with a saber to the chest. Martian Manhunter Throws Collossus at Rumble and Frenzy and knocks them over but the damage is already done. The 2 Decepticons have destroyed the brain control function of Cosmos and the ship goes plummeting down. Capt. Kirk yells "Brace yourself". Jason Bourne looks at Marty Mcfly and says "doesn't anybody know how to fly this thing"! As he says this Wedge is already sitting at Cosmos' manual controls which he then uses to right the ship and put it back on course. Collossus manages to knock the two Decepticons away but they knock him sailing into space as well. Martian Manhunter then flies up on Rumble and rips his arm off. He then uses the arm of Rumble to pound the Decepticon to death. Arisia uses her power ring to create a huge green blade which she uses to cut Frenzy into several pieces. Nightcrawler Teleports right next to Collossus and grabs him before Martian Manhunter and Arisia can save him. Nightcrawler then teleports back to the asteroid, right in the middle of where the Kree Soldiers have congregated. Nightcrawler then teleports out of the way and lets the Kree attack his old X-Men pal. Collossus attempts to put up a fight against the strength increased Kree and manages to kill 8 of them by either crushing them or by destroying their nitrogen breathing apparatus but the Kree use their strength in numbers to overpower him. Master Chief yells "time for the second wave" Omega Red and Venom get on the back of Soundwave after he reejects Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, and Ratbat. Lazerbeak & Buzzsaw grab Sonic & Tails while Ratbat grabs Bossk. They all fly over to the ship while Nightcrawler has all 10 of the Fire Bros. touch him while he "Bamfs" himself and the Fire Bros. into the inside of Cosmos. This is relatively successful except 2 (#5 & 8) of the Fire Bros. do get caught up in the walls of Cosmos and die. Sonny Chiba jumps in to action and takes out Fire Bros. #1 & 2 with some wicked Kung Fu while Bebop and Rocksteady get killed by Fire Bros. #6 & 7 but not before Bebop takes out #9 & Rocksteady gets #10. Crash Bandicoot kills #3 and Kyle Reese uses his sawed-off 12 gauge to take out #4. Nightcrawler pulls out 3 swords and kills Curly with one of them but Jason Bourne kicks Nightcrawler in the chest. He disarms and distails (if that's a word) Nightcrawler by knocking his 3 swords to the ground but Nightcrawler teleports out of the way before Bourne can finish him off with his Glock. There is not really anywhere for him to teleport to though so right when he pops up he gets a mystical hammer to the head compliments of Thor. Ki Adi Mundi and Shaak Ti stay togeather as they; along with Jedi Masters #1 & 2 dodge the tennacles of Omega Red but they work their way inside and stab him with their 4 lightsabers. Capt. Kirk gives the order for all battle ready personal to go join the fight on top of the ship. Jason Bourne and Kyle Reese take advantage of the fact that Sonic can't move very fast in a space suit as they give him a good old fashioned Motor City Beat Down on top of Cosmos. Thor flies out into space and throws Mjonir into the chest of Soundwave destroying not just his spark but also that of Ravage who he had not yet ejected. Martian Manhunter and Arisia had so much fun wasting Soundwave's first 2 tapes that they decide to see how fast they can take out Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, & Ratbat. I didn't have a stop watch or anything, but it was pretty fast. Yoda brings his peeps Jedi Master #4, 5, & 9 along to cheer him on while he relieves Venom of his head releasing the alien symbiote back into space, while T-1000 who now looks exactly like Curly from the 3 Stooges shoves his sword-like arm into the head of Bossk after Bossk found his lazer gun to be quite useless against the liquid metal Terminator. Metroid #19 & 20 then fly in from underneath the ship and double up on Tails, sucking the life out of the little furball. Capt. Kirk orders everyone back into the ship and Adm. Ackbar gives the go ahead for the full frontal attack of Master Chief's asteroid while Wesley Willis is inside singing "the Autobot ship, the Autobot ship the autobot ship..... the autobot ship, This Autobot ship is named Cosmos, it flies around and carries in it lots of soldiers, they are good soldiers, they are gonna land on your asteroid and wup yo' ass; the autobot ship the autobot ship the autobot ship the autobot ship". Beowolf flies in and lands in the middle of the Navy Sailors. He easily takes out all 27 of them with a combination of artillery type attacks. Santa decides that he is going to take out the goombas. He does a fly by and Starship Trooper #25 opens fire taking them out by the dozens. Sonny then jumps out and starts jumping on their heads and killing them. On the next strafing run Corbin Dallas goes to jump out but Santa says "they got this handled just stay here with me, your good people". Wedge lands Cosmos on the asteroid and Adm. Ackbar says "Gen. Lee, prepare for ground assault". Star Fox leads the 42 remaining Kree soldiers against his enemies but they are no match for Gen. Lee and his 13 Jedi Masters who take out a total of 18 Kree, Thor who takes out 6 on his own, Arisia and Martian Manhunter who each take out 4, Crash Bandicoot who kills 1, Marty Mcfly who watches Jason Bourne take out 2 and Kyle Reese 1, T-1000 who wastes 3, Bender who bends 1, Gonzo, Kamilla, Larry, & Moe who quadruple team 1, and Gen. Lee himself who takes 1 out by slicing open the Kree Soldier's nitrogen suit with his calvary saber. Gen. Lee and his men are then about to be taken off guard by Star Fox who has called in the 15 Moritani Soldiers to attack from behind but then Gen. Lee's old buddy Stonewall Jackson has Jimmy Nuetron pop up in his little ship behind the Moritani and take them by suprise instead. Jimmy begins blasting the Nuetron cannons at them while the Contra Boys jump out and represent with their lazer guns (not my favorite Contra weapon but it would probably be the best one for space). Gen. Jackson and his homeboys easily take out the Moritani who are not very well-trained for space fighting. Star Fox refuses to give up and jumps right into the fray shooting Reese with his lazer gun but Thor and Martian Manhunter converge on him and rip him to pieces. Yoda then runs up to Master Chief blocking everything Master Chief shoots at him with his lightsaber and quickly finishes off The Syracuse Valley's fearless yet outgunned leader.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Better Than All of You Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Better Than All of You is Predator #1-12, Thanos, Green Lantern, Mephisto, The Terminator (from T-1), The Terminator (from T-2), Terminator #1-17, Agent Smith, NS-5 #1-22, Lex Luthor, Ghost Rider, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, The Blues Brothers, Dozer #4 & 6.
Hannah Montana........ are Ellen Ripley, The Colonial Marines: Gunnery Sgt. Apone, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-B, Corp. Hicks, PFC Hudson, Corp. Ferro, Corp. Dietrich, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Crowe, & Pvt. Wierzbowski, Dave Bowman (Starchild), HAL 9000, Frank Poole, Karallen, The Terminator (from T-3), IG-88, Angel, Qui Gonn Jinn, Gen. Grevious, Agamemnon & Juno, Dante, Xerxes, Tlaloc, Luminara Unduli & Barress Offee, Octane, Trax, Erasmus, Bizarro Superman, Android Human Torch, Steel, Warf, Star Ship Trooper #100, Ms. Marvel, Capt. Steven Hiller, John Turner, Vorian Atreides, Lazarus Long, Maxima, Metroid #1-16, Bail Organa, Brangelina w/ Shiloh, Maddox, Pax, & Zahara, Spider-Man, Tarful, Willow Rosenburg, Albus Dumbledore, Sydney Pouttier, Micheal Vick, Harry Potter, Paul Atreides Ghola, Bashar Miles Teg, Clone Trooper #100, Zam Wessell, Blue Beetle, Saladin, Sir Winston Churchill, Joe Frazier, Mohammed Ali, Jedi Master #21-26, Bryan Beckerman, Dora w/ Backpack & Boots, Dozer #1, Hannah Montana, & Jar Jar Binks.
HAL 9000 has been bolted to the bottom of Agamemnon and radio linked to Erasmus who is on board Octane who is in the form of a comercial jet, acting as the team's command ship. Also on board Octane is Ellen Ripley, The Colonial Marines, Frank Poole, Karallen, Qui Gonn, Luminara & Barress, Warf, Steven Hiller, Turner, Vorian Atreides, Bail Organa, Brangelina & the kids, Spider Man, Tarful, Willow, Sydney Pouttier, Micheal Vick, Paul, Zam Wessell, Blue Beetele, Saladin, Churchill, Frazier, Ali, The Jedis, Beckerman, & Hannah. Octane is radio linked to Trax who is carrying Lazarus Long, Dumbledore, the Dozer, Dora, Boots, & Jar Jar (He's in the trunk). They have the Starship Trooper secured to the bottom of the Flying corvette and the clone on top for extra fire power. Warf along with Vorian Atreides reports to Senator Organa "All systems are go sir, ae have a much larger force than the enemy, this battle should not be a problem". Jar Jar says from the trunk "Wesa gotta grand army". Better Than All of You is free floating but Green Lantern is keeping everyone in close with his power ring. Agent Smith says to Luthor "Are you sure Cobra Commander's plan is going to work"? "It seems like a waste of resources to me" Ghost Rider says. "It will work " says Thanos before Luthor can answer. Luthor gives the signal and Green Lantern throws all 19 Terminators and 22 NS-5's at Octane. The 36 robots begin ripping pieces off of Octane, The Terminator (from T-3) is on top of the plane but he is destroyed by his fellow Terminators. Steel and Bizarro fly in to help out but most of the team members who are flying around are afraid to shoot because they do not want to harm Octane or the people on board. The Cymek's fly in to help but Erasmus tells HAL 9000 not to let them shoot for the same reason. The robots begin to breach the hull of Octane and Qui Gonn orders everyone to put on space suits but then phaze 2 of Head Coach Cobra Commander's plan begins. The Terminators (from T-1 & T-2) begin attacking some of the Terminators next to them. They rip out the unstable nuclear core of the Terminators around them and then they deliberately rupture the cores and throw them into small holes that they have made in the ship. The 2 Terminators then each grab a hold of another Terminator and an NS-5 and jump off. Qui Gon, the other 8 jedi's, & the marines put on all of their space gear to go out and fight the robots but it is to late for anyone to get far enough away as the small nuclear reactors blow up and kill all of the Terminators, NS-5's, Octane, and everyone on board. Green Lantern now throws the 12 Predators on top of Tlaloc. Agamemnon orders the other 4 Titans to fall back as The Predators rip apart the huge Titan, but not before Tlaloc destroys Predators #6, 8, 9, 11, & 12. Agamemnon warns his followers to stay away from similar suicide attacks but Xerxes is to slow as Green Lantern throws the Predators on to him next. Agamemnon screams "Xerxes you fool, you have failed the Titans once again" into the communicator that is being pumped into the speakers of all the other Cymeks. He then orders to open fire and Agamemnon, Juno, & Dante all blow away their own fellow Titan in order to kill the Predators. Agamemnon says "I am glad to be rid of that idiot" as the other Cymeks follow the now enraged leader into battle. HAL 9000, from the bottom of Agamemnon is computing the best way for the now depleted team to defeat the squad. Gen. Grevious is hanging on to IG-88 with his two arms as the robot flies in to fight the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Over the last week HAL 9000 developed a plan to rebuild the 2 arms of Grevious that were destroyed but Lazarus Long who volunteered for the job did not have time to repair him (you never seem to be in a hurry when you are immortal). but none the less without Grevious needing a place to plant his feet while floating in space he is still wielding 3 lightsabers and a gun as IG-88 throws him onto the Marshmallow Man. The robot and the cyborg then use their lazer powered weapons to destroy Stay Puft who is moving even slower in space than he did in New York. The plan was for Trax and his passengers to hang back and direct the rest of the team but with their depleted forces Dumbledore, Lazarus, and Dora decide that they are going to need to take a more active role in the fight. Trax flies up toward Mephisto with Harry Potter acting as their wing man in his full space gear riding on his broom. The 2 troopers fire at Mephisto but he easily blocks it with a shield of Hell fire. Mephisto blasts the two troopers off of Trax and melts them and their armor until their is nothing left. Trax flies around for another pass with Dumbledore on the inside working hard to not allow the powers of Mephisto to penetrate the metal of the Autobot they are riding in. Trax swerves out of the way and begins to circle back which is where the real plan comes in. Harry Potter who was shadowed by the winged corvette blasts the unsuspecting Mephisto with his wand as Mephisto is still focusing his energy on Trax. This sends Mephisto flying backward. Mephisto regains his composure but he is then suprised once again when it is not wizardry or witchcraft that kills him but the front end of a corvette colliding with his face that does him in. The Starchild feels that he can not take Thanos alone so he brings Human Torch and Ms. Marvel along as well. Human Torch tries to throw some flames at Thanos but he dodges out of the way with 10 times the speed of the android and blasts Human Torch apart. Dave Bowman then flies through Thanos in and intangible state that renders him useless for about 15 seconds which is time enough for Ms. Marvel to land about 20 brick crushing punches into Thanos. As the mighty Thanos is shaking off these blows Bowman then sticks his hand into the face of Thanos causing him no pain whatsoever as Bowman's hand and Thanos' head become one in a state that does not really exist in our plane of existence. Ms. Marvel sticks her hand in as well to join them in this cosmic state, but as Bowman removes his hand first it becomes pretty messy as Ms. Marvel uses her super- human strength to pull her fist out of the now solidified head of Thanos breaking every bone in her own hand but ripping out the brain of Thanos. Agent Smith is flying around dodging the ranged attacks of the Titans when HAL 9000 begins crunching the numbers on what would be the best way to defeat the Super-Agent. Agent Smith flies in with incredible speed and lands on top of Juno. Agamemnon will not give the same order to fire on the being whom he has had a love affair with for over a thousand years which is why Agent Smith is able to pound through the Titan and rip out Juno's brain. Agamemnon is furious as he flies at Smith in a complete rage. He grabs the Agent and discovers that despite what HAL 9000 is telling him from underneath his hull; computer programs can feel pain as he drags out the torcherous death of Agent Smith by opting not to use rockets but by dissecting him with lazers as he holds Agent Smith in the firm grasp of his huge robotic extension arms. Dante finally helps out by blowing off Smith's head reminding his general that their is more work to do. Angel is on the back of Bizarro as they fly in to fight Ghost Rider. Ghost Rider is ripping through space on his bike leaving a firey trail behind him. Bizarro is not exactly a tactical genius so he decides that the best course of action would be to fly head on into Ghost Rider's motorcycle. He does this but right before they impact Angel jumps over the handle bars and pulls Ghost Rider off of the bike by his neck. The impact of the bike on Bizarro does not exactly feel good but Bizarro is not in nearly as bad of shape as the crushed & demolished motorcycle. Angel and Ghost Rider are fiercely fighting one another as they float through space but then Angel thinks that Bizarro must have forgotten who was on his team as Bizarro pulls Angel off of Ghost Rider and throws him. As Angel rights himself he sees Bizarro flying back over to save him. Bizarro says "Hello Friend" to Angel as Angel realizes that Bizarro was actually just throwing Angel out of the way so he could use his freeze vision to completely destroy the firey spirit of vengeance inside Ghost Rider. All 16 Metroids begin to fly toward Lex Luthor but he uses his jet pack to evade them. He has trouble losing the 16 aliens until he flies over by the Blues Brothers who are pretty bummed to find out that there is no music in space. Lex Luthor opts not to help out his teammates as the metroids attack the Blues Brothers and the 2 dozers that they have in their pockets. The Blues Bros. try to throw the dozers to safety but Metroid #7 & 13 kill the 2 Dozers as Metroid #2 & 5 kill the Blues Bros. The other 12 Metroids continue to pursue Lex Luthor as Maxima and Steel go after Green Lantern. Luthor decides that he cannot run forever as he turns to fight the remaining metroids. He finds that when he hits them with enough power from his arm mounted lazer that he is able to kill them. He manages to kill Metroids #1, 3, 6, & 16 but when Bizarro and his new homie Angel fly up to help out their strange alien teammates, all they have to do is watch as Luthor is swarmed by the remaining Metroids. Steel and Maxima attack Green Lantern. Green Lantern is just as at home in space is he is anywhere else as he flies circles around his 2 opponents. He creates a giant hand that rips off Steel's mask exposing him to the harsh elements of space. Steel takes in a deep breath that freezes in his lungs about 1 minute later causing them to burst. Maxima punches Jordan in the stomach but he rolls with the punch. She begins flying at him again but he puts up a wall off green energy that blocks her from coming through. He then turns the wall into a huge net to restrain Maxima but before he can finish her off The Starchild followed closely behind by Trax, Harry Potter, Ms. Marvel, and IG-88 w/ Grevious show up to help. Ms. Marvel punches Jordan right after IG-88 shoots him with a couple of quick lazer blasts. Dumbledore and Harry Potter then simultaneousely cast a spell the Dumbledore just taught Harry the day before to retrieve powerful magic items. As they both cast the spell Green Lantern's power ring is pulled off of his finger for just a split second. In a perfectly timed manuever Trax flies by with Lazarus Long and Dora in their space suits hanging out the side of the car. Lazarus holds Dora out as Dora holds the open backpack out and catches the ring inside. Backpack says "yum yum yum yum yum yum yum"! Boots and the Dozer help pull them back inside Trax as Gevious finishes off the defenseless Green Lanter with a lightsaber through the chest.
HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLD'S" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS IS VICTORIOUS!
Hannah Montana........ are Ellen Ripley, The Colonial Marines: Gunnery Sgt. Apone, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-B, Corp. Hicks, PFC Hudson, Corp. Ferro, Corp. Dietrich, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Crowe, & Pvt. Wierzbowski, Dave Bowman (Starchild), HAL 9000, Frank Poole, Karallen, The Terminator (from T-3), IG-88, Angel, Qui Gonn Jinn, Gen. Grevious, Agamemnon & Juno, Dante, Xerxes, Tlaloc, Luminara Unduli & Barress Offee, Octane, Trax, Erasmus, Bizarro Superman, Android Human Torch, Steel, Warf, Star Ship Trooper #100, Ms. Marvel, Capt. Steven Hiller, John Turner, Vorian Atreides, Lazarus Long, Maxima, Metroid #1-16, Bail Organa, Brangelina w/ Shiloh, Maddox, Pax, & Zahara, Spider-Man, Tarful, Willow Rosenburg, Albus Dumbledore, Sydney Pouttier, Micheal Vick, Harry Potter, Paul Atreides Ghola, Bashar Miles Teg, Clone Trooper #100, Zam Wessell, Blue Beetle, Saladin, Sir Winston Churchill, Joe Frazier, Mohammed Ali, Jedi Master #21-26, Bryan Beckerman, Dora w/ Backpack & Boots, Dozer #1, Hannah Montana, & Jar Jar Binks.
HAL 9000 has been bolted to the bottom of Agamemnon and radio linked to Erasmus who is on board Octane who is in the form of a comercial jet, acting as the team's command ship. Also on board Octane is Ellen Ripley, The Colonial Marines, Frank Poole, Karallen, Qui Gonn, Luminara & Barress, Warf, Steven Hiller, Turner, Vorian Atreides, Bail Organa, Brangelina & the kids, Spider Man, Tarful, Willow, Sydney Pouttier, Micheal Vick, Paul, Zam Wessell, Blue Beetele, Saladin, Churchill, Frazier, Ali, The Jedis, Beckerman, & Hannah. Octane is radio linked to Trax who is carrying Lazarus Long, Dumbledore, the Dozer, Dora, Boots, & Jar Jar (He's in the trunk). They have the Starship Trooper secured to the bottom of the Flying corvette and the clone on top for extra fire power. Warf along with Vorian Atreides reports to Senator Organa "All systems are go sir, ae have a much larger force than the enemy, this battle should not be a problem". Jar Jar says from the trunk "Wesa gotta grand army". Better Than All of You is free floating but Green Lantern is keeping everyone in close with his power ring. Agent Smith says to Luthor "Are you sure Cobra Commander's plan is going to work"? "It seems like a waste of resources to me" Ghost Rider says. "It will work " says Thanos before Luthor can answer. Luthor gives the signal and Green Lantern throws all 19 Terminators and 22 NS-5's at Octane. The 36 robots begin ripping pieces off of Octane, The Terminator (from T-3) is on top of the plane but he is destroyed by his fellow Terminators. Steel and Bizarro fly in to help out but most of the team members who are flying around are afraid to shoot because they do not want to harm Octane or the people on board. The Cymek's fly in to help but Erasmus tells HAL 9000 not to let them shoot for the same reason. The robots begin to breach the hull of Octane and Qui Gonn orders everyone to put on space suits but then phaze 2 of Head Coach Cobra Commander's plan begins. The Terminators (from T-1 & T-2) begin attacking some of the Terminators next to them. They rip out the unstable nuclear core of the Terminators around them and then they deliberately rupture the cores and throw them into small holes that they have made in the ship. The 2 Terminators then each grab a hold of another Terminator and an NS-5 and jump off. Qui Gon, the other 8 jedi's, & the marines put on all of their space gear to go out and fight the robots but it is to late for anyone to get far enough away as the small nuclear reactors blow up and kill all of the Terminators, NS-5's, Octane, and everyone on board. Green Lantern now throws the 12 Predators on top of Tlaloc. Agamemnon orders the other 4 Titans to fall back as The Predators rip apart the huge Titan, but not before Tlaloc destroys Predators #6, 8, 9, 11, & 12. Agamemnon warns his followers to stay away from similar suicide attacks but Xerxes is to slow as Green Lantern throws the Predators on to him next. Agamemnon screams "Xerxes you fool, you have failed the Titans once again" into the communicator that is being pumped into the speakers of all the other Cymeks. He then orders to open fire and Agamemnon, Juno, & Dante all blow away their own fellow Titan in order to kill the Predators. Agamemnon says "I am glad to be rid of that idiot" as the other Cymeks follow the now enraged leader into battle. HAL 9000, from the bottom of Agamemnon is computing the best way for the now depleted team to defeat the squad. Gen. Grevious is hanging on to IG-88 with his two arms as the robot flies in to fight the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Over the last week HAL 9000 developed a plan to rebuild the 2 arms of Grevious that were destroyed but Lazarus Long who volunteered for the job did not have time to repair him (you never seem to be in a hurry when you are immortal). but none the less without Grevious needing a place to plant his feet while floating in space he is still wielding 3 lightsabers and a gun as IG-88 throws him onto the Marshmallow Man. The robot and the cyborg then use their lazer powered weapons to destroy Stay Puft who is moving even slower in space than he did in New York. The plan was for Trax and his passengers to hang back and direct the rest of the team but with their depleted forces Dumbledore, Lazarus, and Dora decide that they are going to need to take a more active role in the fight. Trax flies up toward Mephisto with Harry Potter acting as their wing man in his full space gear riding on his broom. The 2 troopers fire at Mephisto but he easily blocks it with a shield of Hell fire. Mephisto blasts the two troopers off of Trax and melts them and their armor until their is nothing left. Trax flies around for another pass with Dumbledore on the inside working hard to not allow the powers of Mephisto to penetrate the metal of the Autobot they are riding in. Trax swerves out of the way and begins to circle back which is where the real plan comes in. Harry Potter who was shadowed by the winged corvette blasts the unsuspecting Mephisto with his wand as Mephisto is still focusing his energy on Trax. This sends Mephisto flying backward. Mephisto regains his composure but he is then suprised once again when it is not wizardry or witchcraft that kills him but the front end of a corvette colliding with his face that does him in. The Starchild feels that he can not take Thanos alone so he brings Human Torch and Ms. Marvel along as well. Human Torch tries to throw some flames at Thanos but he dodges out of the way with 10 times the speed of the android and blasts Human Torch apart. Dave Bowman then flies through Thanos in and intangible state that renders him useless for about 15 seconds which is time enough for Ms. Marvel to land about 20 brick crushing punches into Thanos. As the mighty Thanos is shaking off these blows Bowman then sticks his hand into the face of Thanos causing him no pain whatsoever as Bowman's hand and Thanos' head become one in a state that does not really exist in our plane of existence. Ms. Marvel sticks her hand in as well to join them in this cosmic state, but as Bowman removes his hand first it becomes pretty messy as Ms. Marvel uses her super- human strength to pull her fist out of the now solidified head of Thanos breaking every bone in her own hand but ripping out the brain of Thanos. Agent Smith is flying around dodging the ranged attacks of the Titans when HAL 9000 begins crunching the numbers on what would be the best way to defeat the Super-Agent. Agent Smith flies in with incredible speed and lands on top of Juno. Agamemnon will not give the same order to fire on the being whom he has had a love affair with for over a thousand years which is why Agent Smith is able to pound through the Titan and rip out Juno's brain. Agamemnon is furious as he flies at Smith in a complete rage. He grabs the Agent and discovers that despite what HAL 9000 is telling him from underneath his hull; computer programs can feel pain as he drags out the torcherous death of Agent Smith by opting not to use rockets but by dissecting him with lazers as he holds Agent Smith in the firm grasp of his huge robotic extension arms. Dante finally helps out by blowing off Smith's head reminding his general that their is more work to do. Angel is on the back of Bizarro as they fly in to fight Ghost Rider. Ghost Rider is ripping through space on his bike leaving a firey trail behind him. Bizarro is not exactly a tactical genius so he decides that the best course of action would be to fly head on into Ghost Rider's motorcycle. He does this but right before they impact Angel jumps over the handle bars and pulls Ghost Rider off of the bike by his neck. The impact of the bike on Bizarro does not exactly feel good but Bizarro is not in nearly as bad of shape as the crushed & demolished motorcycle. Angel and Ghost Rider are fiercely fighting one another as they float through space but then Angel thinks that Bizarro must have forgotten who was on his team as Bizarro pulls Angel off of Ghost Rider and throws him. As Angel rights himself he sees Bizarro flying back over to save him. Bizarro says "Hello Friend" to Angel as Angel realizes that Bizarro was actually just throwing Angel out of the way so he could use his freeze vision to completely destroy the firey spirit of vengeance inside Ghost Rider. All 16 Metroids begin to fly toward Lex Luthor but he uses his jet pack to evade them. He has trouble losing the 16 aliens until he flies over by the Blues Brothers who are pretty bummed to find out that there is no music in space. Lex Luthor opts not to help out his teammates as the metroids attack the Blues Brothers and the 2 dozers that they have in their pockets. The Blues Bros. try to throw the dozers to safety but Metroid #7 & 13 kill the 2 Dozers as Metroid #2 & 5 kill the Blues Bros. The other 12 Metroids continue to pursue Lex Luthor as Maxima and Steel go after Green Lantern. Luthor decides that he cannot run forever as he turns to fight the remaining metroids. He finds that when he hits them with enough power from his arm mounted lazer that he is able to kill them. He manages to kill Metroids #1, 3, 6, & 16 but when Bizarro and his new homie Angel fly up to help out their strange alien teammates, all they have to do is watch as Luthor is swarmed by the remaining Metroids. Steel and Maxima attack Green Lantern. Green Lantern is just as at home in space is he is anywhere else as he flies circles around his 2 opponents. He creates a giant hand that rips off Steel's mask exposing him to the harsh elements of space. Steel takes in a deep breath that freezes in his lungs about 1 minute later causing them to burst. Maxima punches Jordan in the stomach but he rolls with the punch. She begins flying at him again but he puts up a wall off green energy that blocks her from coming through. He then turns the wall into a huge net to restrain Maxima but before he can finish her off The Starchild followed closely behind by Trax, Harry Potter, Ms. Marvel, and IG-88 w/ Grevious show up to help. Ms. Marvel punches Jordan right after IG-88 shoots him with a couple of quick lazer blasts. Dumbledore and Harry Potter then simultaneousely cast a spell the Dumbledore just taught Harry the day before to retrieve powerful magic items. As they both cast the spell Green Lantern's power ring is pulled off of his finger for just a split second. In a perfectly timed manuever Trax flies by with Lazarus Long and Dora in their space suits hanging out the side of the car. Lazarus holds Dora out as Dora holds the open backpack out and catches the ring inside. Backpack says "yum yum yum yum yum yum yum"! Boots and the Dozer help pull them back inside Trax as Gevious finishes off the defenseless Green Lanter with a lightsaber through the chest.
HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLD'S" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS IS VICTORIOUS!
Friday, April 4, 2008
This Week...
Week 6: Space
Points: 1600
Conference Week
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Better Than All of You
Alice's Wonder-Team Vs. Team Fred
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Outsiders
The Right Wing Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murder Flies
Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches Vs. Reign Supremacy
Le' Napoleon's Brigade Vs. Legion of Doom
The Untouchables Vs. Team Ed
Points: 1600
Conference Week
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Better Than All of You
Alice's Wonder-Team Vs. Team Fred
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Outsiders
The Right Wing Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murder Flies
Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches Vs. Reign Supremacy
Le' Napoleon's Brigade Vs. Legion of Doom
The Untouchables Vs. Team Ed
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The Outsiders Vs. The Untouchables
The Outsiders are Mace Windu (designated leader), Apollo, Ares, Blue Wizard #1, Hercules, Blue Dragon #15, Red Dragon #15, The Predicons, Sky Lynx, Jenna Jameson, Scorponok w/ Lord Zarock, Beast Wars Megatron, Kup, Cliff Jumper, Dr. Doom, Justin Oblak, Fin Fang Foom, Hrrm, Galactus w/ Nova, Ajax, Beast Boy, Marv, Voldemort, Jack Baur, Curtis Manning, Brandon Inge, Dark Jedi Master #31-40, & Dark Jedi #11 & 12.
The Untouchables are Mr. Fantastic (designated leader), Invisible Woman, Human Torch, & The Thing, Deadpool, Pyro, Mystique, White Queen, Punisher, Daredevil, Megatron, The Constructicons, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Shrapnell, & Kickback, The Protectabots, Ratchet, Broadside, Aphrodite, Ras Al Ghul, Green Arrow & Black Canary, The Atom, Huntress, Dr. Light, Tomar Tu, Hawk, Dr. Polaris, Eclipso, Dr. Light, The WildC.A.T.S.: Spartan, Grifter, Voodoo, Zealot, Warblade, Maul, Void, & Lord Emp, Legolas, Boromir, James Bond, The Sorcoress of Castle Grayskull, The Men in Black: Jay & Kay, Purple Dragon #8, Tinkerbell, Maleficent, Merlin, Duncan Idaho Ghola #9, & Matt & Teresa Oblak.
In a press conference before the match Jedi Master Mace Windu pushed the envelope of how much anger a Jedi can show when he was quoted as saying "That Deadpool guy better watch out. He got lucky last time but he had better stay away from me this time". When they asked Deadpool what he thought about that quote he replied with "I think I'm going to stay away from him". As the battle begins Voodoo crushes Dr. Doom inside his own suit and then crushes Cliff Jumper as if he was at an invisible junk yard, turning him into a metal cube. Dr. Polaris, does not wish to be shown up by the Wildcat and from the air picks up Scorponok. He pulls out his inside circuitry and parts making it look like it is raining metal. General Windu orders his team to put a stop to this. Hrrm runs at Voodoo, with his genetically enhanced powerful legs pumping he pounces on Voodoo and rips her apart. He acts on instinct to kill this person as she even looks a little bit like the Honored Matres that he was bred to kill. Hercules then grabs the half man/half beast and launches him into the air at Dr. Polaris. Hrrm rips him apart as they both plummet to their dooms. Ares, the god of war views Hrrm's death as a minor sacrifice for victory in this battle as he rushes at Pyro decapitating him with his axe. Until a couple of months ago Ares had never heard of a press conference or a number 1 draft pick but after hearing himself critcized on Fantasy Fantasy Center as being "a total bust" he is anxious to prove them wrong. He goes on a complete rage throwing caution to the wind as he continues his path of destruction. He hits White Queen with his shield so hard and fast that she does not have the time to put up any sort of defense against it. The force of this blow knocks her to the ground where she is stomped on by the metal boot of Ares. Mystique makes herself look exactly like Apollo, Ares teammate; but Ares does not even notice what she looks like as puts his oversized axe into her head. Only one thing stops the blood drunk rampage of Ares and that is when his fellow god Aphrodite walks onto the scene. He instantly stops as he sees her without her husband Hephaestus and walks over to her. The two of them then leave the battle to resume their age old affair in Mt. Olympus. No Fantasy Fantasy officials stop them as they leave due to the fact that this is a retreat week and that is technically permitted. Apollo and Hercules also feel obligated to see that the greek gods get their due as they attempt to pick up where the god of war left off. Hercules grabs Daredevil which causes the Punisher to turn around and try to help his teammate. As Punisher unloads his Full auto AK-47 at Hercules, the son of Zues picks up Daredevil and uses him as a human shield against the bullets. Hercules then disgards the dead body of Daredevil and rips Punisher's head from his body. Megatron and Mace Windu should have plenty of bad blood for each other after their first meeting but the two of them move right past each other on their ways to the real enemies they are targeting. Mace Windu has basically forgotten about his leadership role on this team as he searches out Deadpool; and Megatron sees in the distance the other Megatron. Megatron blasts the Beast Wars Megatron and then jumps on top of him screaming "imposter!" Megatron begins pounding on the leader of the Beast era Decepticons and then shoots him with his arm cannon. Then a small hatch opens on his back revealing Megatron's Team Untouchable BFF Deadpool. In a well rehearsed battle plan Deadpool jumps out and then catches Megatron as he transforms into gun form. Deadpool then blows the "fake" Megatron away. Megatron transforms into robot form and is trying to warn Deadpool but Deadpool will not shut up long enough for him to do so. Deadpool is saying "Did you see that homes! We wasted that dude Meggy! (Deadpool just gave him that nickname the other day; it hasn't really caught on yet). Deadpool said the last part but the when Megatron hears him say "Let's go kick so more...."! It isn't actually Deadpool saying it but just his head as it goes rolling around on the frozen ground. Mace Windu used his force speed to run up on Deadpool extremely fast but he does not go for Megatron as Megatron is already flying away saying "another time Jedi". The Predicons merge to form Prediking but The Protectabots merge to form Defensor and The Constructicons merge to form Devastator. They are thinking that they are going to be able to double team the Predicons but they forget about SkyLinx who comes flying in from behind Prediking. Sky Lynx attacks Devastator but Devastator brings his huge green hands down on top of the Lynx portion and then grabs the Sky part by the tail and smashes it into the ground destroying them both. Prediking jumps in toward Defensor and make pretty short work of the giant Autobot as he pins Defensor up against a glacier and then rips his arm off. He uses the arm as a weapon to demolish the other 4 Protectobots that make up Defensor. Prediking then uses that same dead Autobot to hit Devastator in the back as he is finishing off Sky Lynx. He knocks Devastator down but Devastator comes right back up with an uppercut which knocks Prediking on his back. Devastator takes full advantage of this as he jumps on top of Prediking and finishes him off with a flurry of "devastating" hits. Matt is assisting his wife Teresa with an improvised explosive device that her and Mr. Fantastic think may just be powerful enough to bring down Galactus, but Justin Oblak thinks that they might have something up their sleaves so he asks his friend Kup if he can get him their fast. Kup responds with "hop in little buddy" as he transforms into his Cybertronian truck (more like El Camino) form. Justin hops into the back and Kup starts racing through the icey landscapes to get there in time. Although when Matt and Teresa are within their sights they realize that they have set up camp on the other side of the small arctic lake. Kup says "its to big to jump it Justin" but Justin replies with a simple "don't worry". Justin Oblak then walks across the lake and tries to get the bomb away from his brother and sister in-law. They inadvertantly set off the bomb which blows up all 3 of them (what a beautiful family reunion). This explosion also blows up Lord Zarack and the 2 Dr. Lights who were fighting close by. Head Coach Comissioner Gordon and Mr. Fantastic decided before this battle that in order for them to achieve victory the Fantastic Four would have to somehow kill Galactus on their own while the rest of the team was fighting other people. The Fantastic Four work as a team as they begin their attack on Galactus. The only other help they are given is by the Insecticons whose job it is to lure Nova away from her master by bugging her (get it by "bugging her"). This plan works as the Insecticons fly in close to Galactus and he sends his herald of to deal with them. Another part of the plan was to have The WildC.A.T.S. try to take out Fin Fang Foom. They move against the 17 story tall monster but they are not very successful as he instantly crushes Lord Emp and Warblade. Maul begins to grow in size and strength but he can't get big enough to hurt the monster before his intelligence almost completely goes away. Maul is to dumb to evade Foom's foot as it comes down hard on his large body crushing all his bones. A huge magical fight ensues as Voldemort sends a wirlwind in that rips apart Maleficent but Merlin casts a spell that renders The Blue Wizard completely powerless. Merlin then moves against the one whose name is not supposed to be uttered but Lord Voldemort blows onto his wand creating a firestorm of power. The Dark Lord's magic then destroys Merlin. At the death of Merlin the Blue Wizard's powers seem to return. The Blue Dragon and The Red Dragon rip the Purple Dragon apart as the blue dragon bites its neck and the larger red dragon lands on the purple dragon's back using its claws to finish it off. Legolas begins firing arrows at the two dragons but then a green dragon (Beast Boy) flies in and bites off the head of Legolas. Boromir tries to defend him but Beast Boy flies away to fast. Ajax, in the biggest Cymek form of them all grabs the powerful Eclipso with his huge hook and then with an amazing amount of power pulls him apart. Nova blasts Shrapnell with her cosmic powers and completely obliterates him but the other 2 Insecticons keep up the fight. Jack Baur, along with Curtis Manning lead the group of 12 Dark Jedi's against The Sorcoress of Castle Grayskull. Baur provides the best tactical advantage for them as he leads them up a hill giving them the high ground. He then gives the signal and the 10 Dark Jedi Masters and 2 Dark Jedi's suprise attack the Sorcoress. The Sorcoress manages to take out Dark Jedi Masters #33, 36, & 39 but the other dark jedi take her down. The Fantastic Four are doing a good job of keeping Galactus at bay while Mr. Fantastic is waiting for Matt & Teresa to deliver the weapon that they devised. When Mr. Fantastic finds out that they will not be recieving the weapon he orders the full attack. Mr. Fantastic stretches around the neck of Galactus while The Thing punches him in the bottom of the knee to knock him to the ground. They all clear away from him while Invisible Woman uses all of her power to put a shield over Galactus in an attempt to contain him. Galactus uses his cosmic might to blow the invisible shield apart which uses Invisible Woman's own powers against her as it blows her back hundreds of yards killing her. Mr. Fantastic creates a huge rubbery fist but it does not do much to the devourer of worlds. Galactus blasts Mr. Fantastic and melts him into goo. Galactus then picks up The Thing and crushes him into orange powder. Human Torch begins to fly away but the thing that is easy to forget when you see the huge size and might of Galactus is how fast he is. Galactus flies after Human Torch easily catching up to him. Once he catches Storm it is easy for him to simply knock Human Torch into the icey waters below causing his powers to go out and for him to frezze to death. James Bond jumps in off of a snowmobile to where the Dark Jedi have just defeated the Sorcoress. On the way off the machine he shoots Curtis in the head with a .380 and then rolls into action. He disarms Dark Jedi #11 and then kills Dark Jedi Master #37, but Jack Baur sees the threat of .007 as an imminent one and starts pumping the area full of bullets. He kills Bond but then is forced to give a dirty look to the Dark Jedi that he lead there when they actually seem mad that Baur shot Dark Jedi #11 as well during all the comotion. Fin Fang Foom has managed to destroy the remaining members of the WildC.A.T.S. but the rest of The untouchables are surrounding the giant monster with very high hopes of stopping him. Devastator, although smaller than the monster delivers a huge hit to Foom's stomach. Ras Al Ghul yells "we're about to bring him down" when all of the sudden Galactus appears to the left of the battle and Ajax to the right. They realize that the plans they had laid out prior to the match have obviousely failed so with no leader in sight Duncan Idaho and Megatron both order a retreat. Nova also destroys Kickback but Galactus has no need for useless destruction which is why he calls her back before she can get to Bombshell, who escapes. The Constructicons break apart and fly away, as does Megatron. Ras Al Ghul, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Atom, Huntress, Boromir, Jay, Kay, Tinkerbell, & Duncan Idaho all cram into Ratchet and Broadside to retreat as well, but simultaneousely from different ends of the battlefield Jack Baur, Mace Windu, & Apollo all order The Outsiders to push forward and not let their main rivals retreat. Which is why Tomar Tu and Hawk have volunteered to sacrifice themselves for the team. While everyone else is retreating Hawk stomps Marv and Inge on his way to getting pulverized by Ajax and Tomar Tu blows up Kup and Jenna Jameson before he is hit in the chest by both a purple lightsaber thrown by Master Windu and a mystical arrow fired from the bow of Apollo.
THE OUTSIDERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Untouchables are Mr. Fantastic (designated leader), Invisible Woman, Human Torch, & The Thing, Deadpool, Pyro, Mystique, White Queen, Punisher, Daredevil, Megatron, The Constructicons, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Shrapnell, & Kickback, The Protectabots, Ratchet, Broadside, Aphrodite, Ras Al Ghul, Green Arrow & Black Canary, The Atom, Huntress, Dr. Light, Tomar Tu, Hawk, Dr. Polaris, Eclipso, Dr. Light, The WildC.A.T.S.: Spartan, Grifter, Voodoo, Zealot, Warblade, Maul, Void, & Lord Emp, Legolas, Boromir, James Bond, The Sorcoress of Castle Grayskull, The Men in Black: Jay & Kay, Purple Dragon #8, Tinkerbell, Maleficent, Merlin, Duncan Idaho Ghola #9, & Matt & Teresa Oblak.
In a press conference before the match Jedi Master Mace Windu pushed the envelope of how much anger a Jedi can show when he was quoted as saying "That Deadpool guy better watch out. He got lucky last time but he had better stay away from me this time". When they asked Deadpool what he thought about that quote he replied with "I think I'm going to stay away from him". As the battle begins Voodoo crushes Dr. Doom inside his own suit and then crushes Cliff Jumper as if he was at an invisible junk yard, turning him into a metal cube. Dr. Polaris, does not wish to be shown up by the Wildcat and from the air picks up Scorponok. He pulls out his inside circuitry and parts making it look like it is raining metal. General Windu orders his team to put a stop to this. Hrrm runs at Voodoo, with his genetically enhanced powerful legs pumping he pounces on Voodoo and rips her apart. He acts on instinct to kill this person as she even looks a little bit like the Honored Matres that he was bred to kill. Hercules then grabs the half man/half beast and launches him into the air at Dr. Polaris. Hrrm rips him apart as they both plummet to their dooms. Ares, the god of war views Hrrm's death as a minor sacrifice for victory in this battle as he rushes at Pyro decapitating him with his axe. Until a couple of months ago Ares had never heard of a press conference or a number 1 draft pick but after hearing himself critcized on Fantasy Fantasy Center as being "a total bust" he is anxious to prove them wrong. He goes on a complete rage throwing caution to the wind as he continues his path of destruction. He hits White Queen with his shield so hard and fast that she does not have the time to put up any sort of defense against it. The force of this blow knocks her to the ground where she is stomped on by the metal boot of Ares. Mystique makes herself look exactly like Apollo, Ares teammate; but Ares does not even notice what she looks like as puts his oversized axe into her head. Only one thing stops the blood drunk rampage of Ares and that is when his fellow god Aphrodite walks onto the scene. He instantly stops as he sees her without her husband Hephaestus and walks over to her. The two of them then leave the battle to resume their age old affair in Mt. Olympus. No Fantasy Fantasy officials stop them as they leave due to the fact that this is a retreat week and that is technically permitted. Apollo and Hercules also feel obligated to see that the greek gods get their due as they attempt to pick up where the god of war left off. Hercules grabs Daredevil which causes the Punisher to turn around and try to help his teammate. As Punisher unloads his Full auto AK-47 at Hercules, the son of Zues picks up Daredevil and uses him as a human shield against the bullets. Hercules then disgards the dead body of Daredevil and rips Punisher's head from his body. Megatron and Mace Windu should have plenty of bad blood for each other after their first meeting but the two of them move right past each other on their ways to the real enemies they are targeting. Mace Windu has basically forgotten about his leadership role on this team as he searches out Deadpool; and Megatron sees in the distance the other Megatron. Megatron blasts the Beast Wars Megatron and then jumps on top of him screaming "imposter!" Megatron begins pounding on the leader of the Beast era Decepticons and then shoots him with his arm cannon. Then a small hatch opens on his back revealing Megatron's Team Untouchable BFF Deadpool. In a well rehearsed battle plan Deadpool jumps out and then catches Megatron as he transforms into gun form. Deadpool then blows the "fake" Megatron away. Megatron transforms into robot form and is trying to warn Deadpool but Deadpool will not shut up long enough for him to do so. Deadpool is saying "Did you see that homes! We wasted that dude Meggy! (Deadpool just gave him that nickname the other day; it hasn't really caught on yet). Deadpool said the last part but the when Megatron hears him say "Let's go kick so more...."! It isn't actually Deadpool saying it but just his head as it goes rolling around on the frozen ground. Mace Windu used his force speed to run up on Deadpool extremely fast but he does not go for Megatron as Megatron is already flying away saying "another time Jedi". The Predicons merge to form Prediking but The Protectabots merge to form Defensor and The Constructicons merge to form Devastator. They are thinking that they are going to be able to double team the Predicons but they forget about SkyLinx who comes flying in from behind Prediking. Sky Lynx attacks Devastator but Devastator brings his huge green hands down on top of the Lynx portion and then grabs the Sky part by the tail and smashes it into the ground destroying them both. Prediking jumps in toward Defensor and make pretty short work of the giant Autobot as he pins Defensor up against a glacier and then rips his arm off. He uses the arm as a weapon to demolish the other 4 Protectobots that make up Defensor. Prediking then uses that same dead Autobot to hit Devastator in the back as he is finishing off Sky Lynx. He knocks Devastator down but Devastator comes right back up with an uppercut which knocks Prediking on his back. Devastator takes full advantage of this as he jumps on top of Prediking and finishes him off with a flurry of "devastating" hits. Matt is assisting his wife Teresa with an improvised explosive device that her and Mr. Fantastic think may just be powerful enough to bring down Galactus, but Justin Oblak thinks that they might have something up their sleaves so he asks his friend Kup if he can get him their fast. Kup responds with "hop in little buddy" as he transforms into his Cybertronian truck (more like El Camino) form. Justin hops into the back and Kup starts racing through the icey landscapes to get there in time. Although when Matt and Teresa are within their sights they realize that they have set up camp on the other side of the small arctic lake. Kup says "its to big to jump it Justin" but Justin replies with a simple "don't worry". Justin Oblak then walks across the lake and tries to get the bomb away from his brother and sister in-law. They inadvertantly set off the bomb which blows up all 3 of them (what a beautiful family reunion). This explosion also blows up Lord Zarack and the 2 Dr. Lights who were fighting close by. Head Coach Comissioner Gordon and Mr. Fantastic decided before this battle that in order for them to achieve victory the Fantastic Four would have to somehow kill Galactus on their own while the rest of the team was fighting other people. The Fantastic Four work as a team as they begin their attack on Galactus. The only other help they are given is by the Insecticons whose job it is to lure Nova away from her master by bugging her (get it by "bugging her"). This plan works as the Insecticons fly in close to Galactus and he sends his herald of to deal with them. Another part of the plan was to have The WildC.A.T.S. try to take out Fin Fang Foom. They move against the 17 story tall monster but they are not very successful as he instantly crushes Lord Emp and Warblade. Maul begins to grow in size and strength but he can't get big enough to hurt the monster before his intelligence almost completely goes away. Maul is to dumb to evade Foom's foot as it comes down hard on his large body crushing all his bones. A huge magical fight ensues as Voldemort sends a wirlwind in that rips apart Maleficent but Merlin casts a spell that renders The Blue Wizard completely powerless. Merlin then moves against the one whose name is not supposed to be uttered but Lord Voldemort blows onto his wand creating a firestorm of power. The Dark Lord's magic then destroys Merlin. At the death of Merlin the Blue Wizard's powers seem to return. The Blue Dragon and The Red Dragon rip the Purple Dragon apart as the blue dragon bites its neck and the larger red dragon lands on the purple dragon's back using its claws to finish it off. Legolas begins firing arrows at the two dragons but then a green dragon (Beast Boy) flies in and bites off the head of Legolas. Boromir tries to defend him but Beast Boy flies away to fast. Ajax, in the biggest Cymek form of them all grabs the powerful Eclipso with his huge hook and then with an amazing amount of power pulls him apart. Nova blasts Shrapnell with her cosmic powers and completely obliterates him but the other 2 Insecticons keep up the fight. Jack Baur, along with Curtis Manning lead the group of 12 Dark Jedi's against The Sorcoress of Castle Grayskull. Baur provides the best tactical advantage for them as he leads them up a hill giving them the high ground. He then gives the signal and the 10 Dark Jedi Masters and 2 Dark Jedi's suprise attack the Sorcoress. The Sorcoress manages to take out Dark Jedi Masters #33, 36, & 39 but the other dark jedi take her down. The Fantastic Four are doing a good job of keeping Galactus at bay while Mr. Fantastic is waiting for Matt & Teresa to deliver the weapon that they devised. When Mr. Fantastic finds out that they will not be recieving the weapon he orders the full attack. Mr. Fantastic stretches around the neck of Galactus while The Thing punches him in the bottom of the knee to knock him to the ground. They all clear away from him while Invisible Woman uses all of her power to put a shield over Galactus in an attempt to contain him. Galactus uses his cosmic might to blow the invisible shield apart which uses Invisible Woman's own powers against her as it blows her back hundreds of yards killing her. Mr. Fantastic creates a huge rubbery fist but it does not do much to the devourer of worlds. Galactus blasts Mr. Fantastic and melts him into goo. Galactus then picks up The Thing and crushes him into orange powder. Human Torch begins to fly away but the thing that is easy to forget when you see the huge size and might of Galactus is how fast he is. Galactus flies after Human Torch easily catching up to him. Once he catches Storm it is easy for him to simply knock Human Torch into the icey waters below causing his powers to go out and for him to frezze to death. James Bond jumps in off of a snowmobile to where the Dark Jedi have just defeated the Sorcoress. On the way off the machine he shoots Curtis in the head with a .380 and then rolls into action. He disarms Dark Jedi #11 and then kills Dark Jedi Master #37, but Jack Baur sees the threat of .007 as an imminent one and starts pumping the area full of bullets. He kills Bond but then is forced to give a dirty look to the Dark Jedi that he lead there when they actually seem mad that Baur shot Dark Jedi #11 as well during all the comotion. Fin Fang Foom has managed to destroy the remaining members of the WildC.A.T.S. but the rest of The untouchables are surrounding the giant monster with very high hopes of stopping him. Devastator, although smaller than the monster delivers a huge hit to Foom's stomach. Ras Al Ghul yells "we're about to bring him down" when all of the sudden Galactus appears to the left of the battle and Ajax to the right. They realize that the plans they had laid out prior to the match have obviousely failed so with no leader in sight Duncan Idaho and Megatron both order a retreat. Nova also destroys Kickback but Galactus has no need for useless destruction which is why he calls her back before she can get to Bombshell, who escapes. The Constructicons break apart and fly away, as does Megatron. Ras Al Ghul, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Atom, Huntress, Boromir, Jay, Kay, Tinkerbell, & Duncan Idaho all cram into Ratchet and Broadside to retreat as well, but simultaneousely from different ends of the battlefield Jack Baur, Mace Windu, & Apollo all order The Outsiders to push forward and not let their main rivals retreat. Which is why Tomar Tu and Hawk have volunteered to sacrifice themselves for the team. While everyone else is retreating Hawk stomps Marv and Inge on his way to getting pulverized by Ajax and Tomar Tu blows up Kup and Jenna Jameson before he is hit in the chest by both a purple lightsaber thrown by Master Windu and a mystical arrow fired from the bow of Apollo.
THE OUTSIDERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Syracuse Valley Vs. The Legion of Doom
The Syracuse Valley is Master Chief (designated leader), Omega Red, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, & Ratbat, Darth Maul, Sith Lord #4, Casey Jones, Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael, Splinter, Nightcrawler, Venom, Zit, Rash, & Pimple, Star Fox, Sonic & Tails, Hammer Bros. #1-10, Boomerang Bros. #1-10, Fire Bros. #1-10, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-10, Xenomorph #85-100, Kree Soldier #1-38, & Little Goomba #1.
The Legion of Doom is Paul Atreides (designated leader), Eradicator, Spawn, Bain, The A-Team, Darth Bain, Gorilla Grodd, Prof. X, Vigo the Carpathian, Gladiator, T-X, Mighty Joe Young, The Sinister 6, Jag Jaguar, Apocalypse, Nemesis Enforcer, Col. John Matrix, Weapon Omega, Ninja Gaiden, Shinobi w/ Yamamoto, Silverbolt, Air Raid, Firefight, Slingshot, Skydive, Hun-Grr, Blot, Cutthroat, Rippersnapper, Sinnertwin, Mordor Horse #1, Metroplex, Shadowcat & Lockheed, Walker: Texas Ranger, The Leprechaun, Sarah Conner, Queen Xenomorph #1-3, Harry Tasker, & Al Gibson.
The Syracuse Valley is teleported to the frozen land of the Artic. Blood covers the snow already from previous battles. They notice that the Legion of Doom has already arrived and built up a base of operations. Seeing that they are their forces are outnumbered greatly, Legion of Doom leaders Paul Atreides and Professor X order Gladiator and Eradicator to attack at once. In one quick strike the two powerful aliens smash into the Syracuse Valley’s front line of Kree Soldiers. Their highly advanced energy weapons are no match, as Kree Soldiers #1-11, 23-28, and 34-38 all fall. “Whoa, did you see that guy’s mowhawk?” asks Michelangelo. Both teams now charge at each other. The Syracuse Valley’s Hammer Bros. #1-10, Boomerang Bros. #1-10, and Fire Bros, #1-10 are all part of the first wave with Giant Hammer Bros. #1-10 following closely behind. They are met by the unlikely combination of the Aerialbots and the Terrorcons. “Now!” Professor X shouts, as the two Transformers teams leap into the air and form Superion and Abominus. The forty “Brothers” start throwing their weapons at the huge transformers, to no avail. They might as well have been throwing toothpicks and matches. Superion and Abominus crush Hammer Bros #3-9, Boomerang Bros. #1-9, Fire Bros. #4-10 and Giant Hammer Bros. #2-5. Venom then engages Spawn in battle. (A Todd McFarlane fanboy’s wet dream.) Spawn fires his chains at Venom, but he is able to dodge them. Venom the tries to ensnare Spawn with several strands of webbing, but he cuts through all of them with a sword he created from his cape. Venom tackles Spawn to the ground. Spawn takes every blow that Venom delivers. Spawn then entangles Venom with his chains, which are now fashioned like the chain of a chainsaw. Spawn uses his chains to tear Venom into dozens of pieces. Ninja Gaiden and Shinobi are now surrounded by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The pair of video game ninjas put up a hell of a fight, even killing Donatello, but strength in numbers and experience in teamwork proved to be too much, as the Turtles eventually kill them. Shinobi’s dog, Yamamoto, was not there to help his friend, because his dog instincts had taken over and he was busy mauling Tails. Several times, Tails tried to fly away. But Yamamoto would just jump up and take him down. Star Fox seeing that his fellow fox and teammate was in peril, shoots the dog, killing it. Unfortunately, he is too late. The dog mauled Tails to death. The sixteen Xenomorphs begin to wildly attack everything in sight. Xenomorphs #97-100 overtake Mighty Joe Young and devour him, while Xenomorphs #85-96 attack the A-Team, Harry Tasker and Al Gibson. Before they are overcome and ripped apart, they are able to kill Xenomorphs #86, 89, 91, 92 and 96. They even attack and kill members of their own team. Little Goomba #1, Boomerang Bros. #10, and Fire Bros. #1-3 perish in the onslaught. Paul Atreides unleashes his personal bodyguard, Nemesis Enforcer, on the Syracuse Valley’s forces. He immediately attacks Omega Red, who tries to grab Nemesis Enforcer with one of his tentacles, but Nemesis Enforcer grabs it as it flings at his neck. He then yanks Omega Red over to him and wraps him in a powerful bear hug. Omega Red welcomes the close quarters. He begins to drain the life out of Nemesis Enforcer. In an effort to counter this attack, Nemesis Enforcer, with all his remaining energy, flies high up in the air and releases Omega Red. As the Russian mutant falls back to the frozen ground below, he snares his opponent by the ankle with his tentacles, pulling him down as well. They both crash into the ground killing both on impact. Master Chief calls Nightcrawler to him and gives him a Covenant Bomb. Nightcrawler grabs a hold of the large Antimatter bomb and teleports out of sight. Bane jumps into the middle of what’s left of the Kree Soldiers. Bane pummels Kree Soldiers #13, 15, and 20-22. The rest start to blast them with their guns, killing him. Darth Bane in a fury kills the remaining Kree Soldiers, showing no mercy whatsoever. He then is confronted by Darth Maul and his new apprentice which Maul has named, Darth Rave. “Ahhh, more unworthy opponents to fall at my feet,” growls an arrogant Darth Bane. In what can only be described as a deep bass voice with techno inflections throughout it, Darth Rave replies, “Such foolish confidence. My master and I will destroy you.” Darth Maul twirls his double-bladed lightsaber as he ignites it. Darth Rave pulls out two lightsabers and ignites both of them as well. Their handles are oddly longer than that of a normal lightsaber. Maul and Rave move fluidly circling Darth Bane and together, they both spin into the air and land dual kicks to the chest of the Sith Lord. Bane comes back with a force push and blows both master and apprentice several hundred feet back, almost to the edge of the cliff they were fighting on. While waiting for the two Sith Lords to return, Darth Bane attacks the remaining Xenomorphs who at the time are battling the Sinister Six. Bane slices through Xenomorphs #85, 87, 90, 93, and 95. Electro zaps Xenomorph #94, frying it. Dr. Octopus grabs Xenomorph #88 with two of his robotic arms and with the other two, drives them into its skull. The acid blood unfortunately eats away at the metal limbs. Xenomorph #100 leaps into the air and takes down Vulture, shredding him to pieces. Darth Maul and Darth Rave have returned to continue their attack on Darth Bane. With snow whipping in the air, the crimson blades twirl and clash in the dwindling daylight. Darth Bane is easily defeating the two Sith Lords, having already destroyed one half of Darth Maul’s lightsaber. He uses the force to knock Rave away, and lands a vicious roundhouse to Darth Maul, knocking him down. As Darth Bane goes to finish off Maul, Darth Rave clicks two buttons on the sides of his lightsaber and launches them at Bane. The top half of his blades release and fly through the air, attached by chains to the bottom part of their handles. They stab Bane in both shoulders, dropping him to his knees. Maul and Rave move to finish Bane off one and for all, but the enraged Sith has other plans. With a loud terrifying primal scream, he uses his sith lightning in a massive burst that lights up the Artic sky. He pulls Darth Rave’s lightsabers out of his shoulders and tosses them at the charred remains of his to opponents. Legion of Doom’s three Queen Xenomorphs have been attacking each other for dominance ever since they were teleported to this frozen land. Master Chief sends the remaining Xenomorphs and Hammer Bros. to capitalize on this opportunity. Acid blood sears the ground and melts hammers and Koopa shells alike, with only Queen Xenomorph #2 still standing. Master Chief using his SRS99D-S2 AM Sniper Rifle takes out the last Queen Xenomorph. Rash, Pimple and Zit all break off huge icicles to use as clubs as they prepare themselves for Texas Ranger Cordell Walker and Sarah Connor who are riding Mordor Horse #1. Walker and Sarah are firing their guns at the Battletoads, who are using their ice clubs to deflect the bullets. Rash ducks and breaks the legs of the horse with his icicle, knocking its riders to the ground. The three Battletoads beat Sarah Connor to death with their ice bats. Walker then roundhouse kicks all three icicles in half. He then takes his Ranger badge off and throws it into Zit’s forehead. Col. John Matrix comes to the Texas Ranger’s aid, not that much is needed. They both beat the ever-living life out of Rash and Pimple. Matrix pulls Rash’s tongue out and chokes him to death with it, and Walker kicks a hole right through Pimple’s chest. Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo come in and attempt some retribution for their fallen amphibian friends. Leonardo cuts Walker in half as Michelangelo restrains him with his nunchaku. Raphael is however blown away by Matrix’s rocket launcher. “Mmmmm, turtle soup,” quips Col. Matrix. The six remaining Giant Hammer Bros. join the fray and crush Col. Matrix with their huge hammers. Master Chief sends Soundwave out to attack the Legion of Doom. Soundwave ejects Rumble and Frenzy, who start driving their piston arms into the ground causing an avalanche. The ensuing wave of snow covers the Legion of Doom’s base, killing Professor X, Sandman, Dr. Octopus, Mysterio, and Hobgoblin. This is just the advantage the Syracuse Valley was hoping for. All of a sudden though, the ground begins to shake and with snow and ice exploding into the air, the Legion of Doom’s base transforms itself into Metroplex. The gigantic transformer stomps on Giant Hammer Bros. #1, 6-10 and Star Fox. Paul Atreides now orders a final assault on the heavily depleted Syracuse Valley. T-X guts Casey Jones and Weapon Omega blast Ratbat out of the sky. Lockheed pursues Sonic the Hedgehog from the air but is double teamed by Laserbeak and Buzzsaw. Laserbeak blast the purple dragon with his back mounted lasers and Buzzsaw finishes him off by slicing through him with his micro-serrated beak. Superion breaks apart into the Aerialbots as they hunt down the two Decepticon tapes through the clouds. The numbers game catches up with Laserbeak and Buzzsaw as they are shot out of the sky by the Autobot planes. Jet Jaguar grows to twice the size of Soundwave and flies directly into the Decepticon. Frenzy and Rumble fly up and land on Jet’s back, and with their piston arms, they break Jet Jaguar’s back sending him crashing into Abominus, killing them both. Rumble and Frenzy land on the ground and were about to conjure up another avalanche. But before they could, Electro hits them with massive arcs of electricity. This allows the Leprechaun to use his magic to destroy the Decepticon twins. Soundwave gets up from being knocked down by Jet Jaguar, but is knocked down again by Apocalypse and Gorilla Grodd. Soundwave grabs Grodd and crushes him. Apocalypse is continuing to punch and tear his way through Soundwave’s chest. He finally gets to his spark but is pounced on by Ravage. Paul Atreides leaps onto Soundwave and plunges his crysknife into Soundwave’s spark, extinguishing the Decepticon. Vigo the Carpathian attempts to assist Apocalypse but is intercepted by Leonardo and Michelangelo. Apocalypse snaps Ravage’s neck and launches the transformer’s body at Michelangelo, killing the Ninja Turtle. Sonic the Hedgehog saves Leonardo from attack and whisks him away. Nightcrawler teleports back to Master Chief. Before he can inform Master Chief on whether or not his mission was a success, Nightcrawler is killed by the combined eye beams of Eradicator and Gladiator. Now, not knowing if Nightcrawler was successful, Master Chief has no choice but to order the retreat. Splinter, Leonardo, Sonic the Hedgehog and Master Chief flee so they can fight another day. Moments after the retreat, an unbelievable explosion rips from Metroplex and through the Artic battlefield. The force of the blast is over thirteen times more powerful than that of an H-Bomb. When the dust clears, and as the snow continues to fall, not one of the Legion of Doom is left standing. Gladiator tries to make it to his feet, but falls beside his teammate. Nightcrawler accomplished his mission. He succeeded in planting the Covenant Bomb deep inside Metroplex. But, yet there is still movement amongst the carnage. Shadowcat was able to phase a fraction of a second before the blast. Before she leaves, Kitty Pryde sees Paul Atreides’ cryknife lying in the snow. Before it disintegrates she picks it up, and cuts her hand with it, swearing vengeance for her fallen team. With a heavy head, she leaves the icy battlefield triumphant.
LEGION OF DOOM IS VICTORIOUS!
The Legion of Doom is Paul Atreides (designated leader), Eradicator, Spawn, Bain, The A-Team, Darth Bain, Gorilla Grodd, Prof. X, Vigo the Carpathian, Gladiator, T-X, Mighty Joe Young, The Sinister 6, Jag Jaguar, Apocalypse, Nemesis Enforcer, Col. John Matrix, Weapon Omega, Ninja Gaiden, Shinobi w/ Yamamoto, Silverbolt, Air Raid, Firefight, Slingshot, Skydive, Hun-Grr, Blot, Cutthroat, Rippersnapper, Sinnertwin, Mordor Horse #1, Metroplex, Shadowcat & Lockheed, Walker: Texas Ranger, The Leprechaun, Sarah Conner, Queen Xenomorph #1-3, Harry Tasker, & Al Gibson.
The Syracuse Valley is teleported to the frozen land of the Artic. Blood covers the snow already from previous battles. They notice that the Legion of Doom has already arrived and built up a base of operations. Seeing that they are their forces are outnumbered greatly, Legion of Doom leaders Paul Atreides and Professor X order Gladiator and Eradicator to attack at once. In one quick strike the two powerful aliens smash into the Syracuse Valley’s front line of Kree Soldiers. Their highly advanced energy weapons are no match, as Kree Soldiers #1-11, 23-28, and 34-38 all fall. “Whoa, did you see that guy’s mowhawk?” asks Michelangelo. Both teams now charge at each other. The Syracuse Valley’s Hammer Bros. #1-10, Boomerang Bros. #1-10, and Fire Bros, #1-10 are all part of the first wave with Giant Hammer Bros. #1-10 following closely behind. They are met by the unlikely combination of the Aerialbots and the Terrorcons. “Now!” Professor X shouts, as the two Transformers teams leap into the air and form Superion and Abominus. The forty “Brothers” start throwing their weapons at the huge transformers, to no avail. They might as well have been throwing toothpicks and matches. Superion and Abominus crush Hammer Bros #3-9, Boomerang Bros. #1-9, Fire Bros. #4-10 and Giant Hammer Bros. #2-5. Venom then engages Spawn in battle. (A Todd McFarlane fanboy’s wet dream.) Spawn fires his chains at Venom, but he is able to dodge them. Venom the tries to ensnare Spawn with several strands of webbing, but he cuts through all of them with a sword he created from his cape. Venom tackles Spawn to the ground. Spawn takes every blow that Venom delivers. Spawn then entangles Venom with his chains, which are now fashioned like the chain of a chainsaw. Spawn uses his chains to tear Venom into dozens of pieces. Ninja Gaiden and Shinobi are now surrounded by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The pair of video game ninjas put up a hell of a fight, even killing Donatello, but strength in numbers and experience in teamwork proved to be too much, as the Turtles eventually kill them. Shinobi’s dog, Yamamoto, was not there to help his friend, because his dog instincts had taken over and he was busy mauling Tails. Several times, Tails tried to fly away. But Yamamoto would just jump up and take him down. Star Fox seeing that his fellow fox and teammate was in peril, shoots the dog, killing it. Unfortunately, he is too late. The dog mauled Tails to death. The sixteen Xenomorphs begin to wildly attack everything in sight. Xenomorphs #97-100 overtake Mighty Joe Young and devour him, while Xenomorphs #85-96 attack the A-Team, Harry Tasker and Al Gibson. Before they are overcome and ripped apart, they are able to kill Xenomorphs #86, 89, 91, 92 and 96. They even attack and kill members of their own team. Little Goomba #1, Boomerang Bros. #10, and Fire Bros. #1-3 perish in the onslaught. Paul Atreides unleashes his personal bodyguard, Nemesis Enforcer, on the Syracuse Valley’s forces. He immediately attacks Omega Red, who tries to grab Nemesis Enforcer with one of his tentacles, but Nemesis Enforcer grabs it as it flings at his neck. He then yanks Omega Red over to him and wraps him in a powerful bear hug. Omega Red welcomes the close quarters. He begins to drain the life out of Nemesis Enforcer. In an effort to counter this attack, Nemesis Enforcer, with all his remaining energy, flies high up in the air and releases Omega Red. As the Russian mutant falls back to the frozen ground below, he snares his opponent by the ankle with his tentacles, pulling him down as well. They both crash into the ground killing both on impact. Master Chief calls Nightcrawler to him and gives him a Covenant Bomb. Nightcrawler grabs a hold of the large Antimatter bomb and teleports out of sight. Bane jumps into the middle of what’s left of the Kree Soldiers. Bane pummels Kree Soldiers #13, 15, and 20-22. The rest start to blast them with their guns, killing him. Darth Bane in a fury kills the remaining Kree Soldiers, showing no mercy whatsoever. He then is confronted by Darth Maul and his new apprentice which Maul has named, Darth Rave. “Ahhh, more unworthy opponents to fall at my feet,” growls an arrogant Darth Bane. In what can only be described as a deep bass voice with techno inflections throughout it, Darth Rave replies, “Such foolish confidence. My master and I will destroy you.” Darth Maul twirls his double-bladed lightsaber as he ignites it. Darth Rave pulls out two lightsabers and ignites both of them as well. Their handles are oddly longer than that of a normal lightsaber. Maul and Rave move fluidly circling Darth Bane and together, they both spin into the air and land dual kicks to the chest of the Sith Lord. Bane comes back with a force push and blows both master and apprentice several hundred feet back, almost to the edge of the cliff they were fighting on. While waiting for the two Sith Lords to return, Darth Bane attacks the remaining Xenomorphs who at the time are battling the Sinister Six. Bane slices through Xenomorphs #85, 87, 90, 93, and 95. Electro zaps Xenomorph #94, frying it. Dr. Octopus grabs Xenomorph #88 with two of his robotic arms and with the other two, drives them into its skull. The acid blood unfortunately eats away at the metal limbs. Xenomorph #100 leaps into the air and takes down Vulture, shredding him to pieces. Darth Maul and Darth Rave have returned to continue their attack on Darth Bane. With snow whipping in the air, the crimson blades twirl and clash in the dwindling daylight. Darth Bane is easily defeating the two Sith Lords, having already destroyed one half of Darth Maul’s lightsaber. He uses the force to knock Rave away, and lands a vicious roundhouse to Darth Maul, knocking him down. As Darth Bane goes to finish off Maul, Darth Rave clicks two buttons on the sides of his lightsaber and launches them at Bane. The top half of his blades release and fly through the air, attached by chains to the bottom part of their handles. They stab Bane in both shoulders, dropping him to his knees. Maul and Rave move to finish Bane off one and for all, but the enraged Sith has other plans. With a loud terrifying primal scream, he uses his sith lightning in a massive burst that lights up the Artic sky. He pulls Darth Rave’s lightsabers out of his shoulders and tosses them at the charred remains of his to opponents. Legion of Doom’s three Queen Xenomorphs have been attacking each other for dominance ever since they were teleported to this frozen land. Master Chief sends the remaining Xenomorphs and Hammer Bros. to capitalize on this opportunity. Acid blood sears the ground and melts hammers and Koopa shells alike, with only Queen Xenomorph #2 still standing. Master Chief using his SRS99D-S2 AM Sniper Rifle takes out the last Queen Xenomorph. Rash, Pimple and Zit all break off huge icicles to use as clubs as they prepare themselves for Texas Ranger Cordell Walker and Sarah Connor who are riding Mordor Horse #1. Walker and Sarah are firing their guns at the Battletoads, who are using their ice clubs to deflect the bullets. Rash ducks and breaks the legs of the horse with his icicle, knocking its riders to the ground. The three Battletoads beat Sarah Connor to death with their ice bats. Walker then roundhouse kicks all three icicles in half. He then takes his Ranger badge off and throws it into Zit’s forehead. Col. John Matrix comes to the Texas Ranger’s aid, not that much is needed. They both beat the ever-living life out of Rash and Pimple. Matrix pulls Rash’s tongue out and chokes him to death with it, and Walker kicks a hole right through Pimple’s chest. Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo come in and attempt some retribution for their fallen amphibian friends. Leonardo cuts Walker in half as Michelangelo restrains him with his nunchaku. Raphael is however blown away by Matrix’s rocket launcher. “Mmmmm, turtle soup,” quips Col. Matrix. The six remaining Giant Hammer Bros. join the fray and crush Col. Matrix with their huge hammers. Master Chief sends Soundwave out to attack the Legion of Doom. Soundwave ejects Rumble and Frenzy, who start driving their piston arms into the ground causing an avalanche. The ensuing wave of snow covers the Legion of Doom’s base, killing Professor X, Sandman, Dr. Octopus, Mysterio, and Hobgoblin. This is just the advantage the Syracuse Valley was hoping for. All of a sudden though, the ground begins to shake and with snow and ice exploding into the air, the Legion of Doom’s base transforms itself into Metroplex. The gigantic transformer stomps on Giant Hammer Bros. #1, 6-10 and Star Fox. Paul Atreides now orders a final assault on the heavily depleted Syracuse Valley. T-X guts Casey Jones and Weapon Omega blast Ratbat out of the sky. Lockheed pursues Sonic the Hedgehog from the air but is double teamed by Laserbeak and Buzzsaw. Laserbeak blast the purple dragon with his back mounted lasers and Buzzsaw finishes him off by slicing through him with his micro-serrated beak. Superion breaks apart into the Aerialbots as they hunt down the two Decepticon tapes through the clouds. The numbers game catches up with Laserbeak and Buzzsaw as they are shot out of the sky by the Autobot planes. Jet Jaguar grows to twice the size of Soundwave and flies directly into the Decepticon. Frenzy and Rumble fly up and land on Jet’s back, and with their piston arms, they break Jet Jaguar’s back sending him crashing into Abominus, killing them both. Rumble and Frenzy land on the ground and were about to conjure up another avalanche. But before they could, Electro hits them with massive arcs of electricity. This allows the Leprechaun to use his magic to destroy the Decepticon twins. Soundwave gets up from being knocked down by Jet Jaguar, but is knocked down again by Apocalypse and Gorilla Grodd. Soundwave grabs Grodd and crushes him. Apocalypse is continuing to punch and tear his way through Soundwave’s chest. He finally gets to his spark but is pounced on by Ravage. Paul Atreides leaps onto Soundwave and plunges his crysknife into Soundwave’s spark, extinguishing the Decepticon. Vigo the Carpathian attempts to assist Apocalypse but is intercepted by Leonardo and Michelangelo. Apocalypse snaps Ravage’s neck and launches the transformer’s body at Michelangelo, killing the Ninja Turtle. Sonic the Hedgehog saves Leonardo from attack and whisks him away. Nightcrawler teleports back to Master Chief. Before he can inform Master Chief on whether or not his mission was a success, Nightcrawler is killed by the combined eye beams of Eradicator and Gladiator. Now, not knowing if Nightcrawler was successful, Master Chief has no choice but to order the retreat. Splinter, Leonardo, Sonic the Hedgehog and Master Chief flee so they can fight another day. Moments after the retreat, an unbelievable explosion rips from Metroplex and through the Artic battlefield. The force of the blast is over thirteen times more powerful than that of an H-Bomb. When the dust clears, and as the snow continues to fall, not one of the Legion of Doom is left standing. Gladiator tries to make it to his feet, but falls beside his teammate. Nightcrawler accomplished his mission. He succeeded in planting the Covenant Bomb deep inside Metroplex. But, yet there is still movement amongst the carnage. Shadowcat was able to phase a fraction of a second before the blast. Before she leaves, Kitty Pryde sees Paul Atreides’ cryknife lying in the snow. Before it disintegrates she picks it up, and cuts her hand with it, swearing vengeance for her fallen team. With a heavy head, she leaves the icy battlefield triumphant.
LEGION OF DOOM IS VICTORIOUS!
Monday, March 31, 2008
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Team Ed
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid (designated leader), Achilles, Sinestro, She-Hulk, The Witch King, Parasite, Spider Woman, Super Girl, Deathstroke, Dr. Strange, Shazam, Chemo, Cable, Scarlet Witch, Mara Jade, Starscream, Sunstorm, Ramjet, Plo Koon, Six Shot, Tommy Oliver: The Green Ranger, Tripticon, Charleton Heston, Polaris, Josh Houslander, Larry Reamer, The Stunticons, Grimlock, Slag, Snarl, Circuit Breaker, Sabertooth, Gideon, Jamie Madrox, Taskmaster, Elixir, Sebastian Shaw, & Wonder Man.
Team Ed is Superman (designated leader), Neo, Trinity, Seraph, King Kong, Godzilla, Fortress Maximus, Swoop, The Combaticons, Blitzwing, Skywarp, Dirge, Iron Hide, Ultra Magnus, Shockwave, Jazz, Astrotrain, Hot Rod, He-Man & Battle Cat, Bomber Man, Bowser: King of Koopa, Gannon, The Shining Force, Samus, Luke Skywalker, Griffin Poteracki, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Saruman the White, Jengo Fett, Original Titan Cymek #1 & 2, Lady Jessica, Valkyrie #1 & 2, The Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Bashar Miles Teg Ghola, Sith Lord #6 & 7, & Toad.
Head Coach Vandal Savage made a last minute change when he switched the designated leader to Darkseid. He originally had Achilles in the spot but when Achilles shared his game plan which consisted of "everybody run behind me and try not to trip over the dead bodies"; Coach Savage decided against him. Darkseid was in protest of the plan that Vandal Savage laid out because he wanted revenge on Superman for week 1 but Savage reminded him that that did not work out very well and that they needed his talents elsewhere. As the match begins Superman does exactly what his head coach The Oracle instructed him to do. In order to avoid the tragedy that they very narrowly diverted in their first battle Superman instantly flies up at speeds much faster than a speeding bullet and punches Scarlet Witch in the head. This instantly kills her and takes her out of the equation. Superman than grabs Snarl by the tail and swings him around in a circle. He slams the Stegosaurus robot down onto the icey ground causing a brief earthquake and turns the Dinobot into nothing more than a collection of nuts and bolts. Darkseid yells to his team "enough of this". He looks over at Supergirl who already knows from the locker room briefing that she is supposed to lead what they have been calling the SKS (Superman kill sqaud). Supergirl is followed by Dr. Strange and Shazam as she takes to the air in an attempt to take out her cousin. Neo begins to do his Superman thing to go and help out Superman but his leg is restrained by a powerful rope of yellow energy. Sinestro then pulls Neo down onto the ground right inbetween him and Darkseid. Darkseid yells to his troops to "protect the secret weapons" as The Stunticons, Grimlock & Slag all gather around Polaris and Circuit Breaker. Polaris lets loose her powers of magnetism like she has never done before as she picks up Fortress Maximus and throws him into the air. As she releases the huge Autobot city allowing it to begin falling to the ground she then takes control of Blitzwing, Hot Rod, Ultra Magnus, Jazz, Iron Hide, & Swoop. She basically uses them as huge bullets as she hurdles them toward Fortress Maximus while he is still in mid-air. All of the Transformers come crashing down through the ice in a huge mangled ball of crushed metal. Skywarp and Dirge attempt to fly in at supersonic speeds but with a flick of her wrist Polaris makes the 2 jets collide and destroy each other on impact. The ghola of the great Bene Gessertit Bashar realizes that something has got to be done quick to stop Polaris before she takes out the whole team. Polaris begins to move Astrotrain with her powers but Miles Teg runs right inbetween the Transformers that are standing guard over Polaris. He moves so fast that the metal eyes of her guardians do not even see him approaching. Miles Teg just touches Polaris but at the speed his body is moving at, it has the affect of her being hit by a train. He knocks Polaris aside and breaks every bone in her body. The exhausted Miles Teg falls over from the over exertion that he has just put his body through, but he knows how much he helped out his team as Grimlock steps on him. Astrotrain, who is being flanked by the smaller Blast Off fly up to where Circuit Breaker is still being protected by Grimlock, Slag, and The Stunticons. Circuit Breaker begins to run up to Astrotrain but as she does The rest of The Combaticons jump out of Astrotrain and the entire Shining Force jumps out of Blast Off. Circuit Breaker is successful in deactivating Astrotrain but she is then killed by Luigie, the Shining Force's Samurai. The Combaticons merge to form Bruticus and The Stunticons merge to form Menacer and the two of them begin pounding on each other heavily. The leader of the Shining Force Max, orders his mages and magic creatures to cast Blaze level 4, Bolt level 4, and 2 different versions of Freeze level 4 these attack spells rip apart the 2 Dinobots Grimlock and Slag. King Kong and Godzilla come stomping onto the scene right next to one another. It is at this time that Tommy decides to pull out his Green knife/flute and call in the help of the mighty Dragonzord. Neo gets up off the ground to find that he is surrounded by Darkseid, Sinestro, & Parasite, but Trinity and Seraph rush in to help him out. Parasite grabs a hold of Trinity and begins to extract her power but Seraph kicks him out of the way and gets her away from him in time. Neo then says "fine, you want some power" and jumps inside the chest of Parasite. Parasite at first thinks that he likes what is happening to him but the power of the one completely overloads the power hungry Parasite causing him to explode and Neo to pop out unharmed. Darkseid then blasts the slightly weakened Trinity with his Omega Beams and burns her alive. Seraph and Neo then run at Darkseid and begin attacking. The bullets that they shoot at him do virtually nothing to hurt him, but they are at first to fast for Darkseid to hit them. Darkseid then gets a hold of Seraph by his neck and squeezes. He crushes Seraph's neck in his hand. Neo then focuses his anger and his strength to swing his open hand in a karate chop motion at Darkseid's neck. With his bear hand he goes right through the rock hard skin of Darkseid and cuts his head right off. Sinestro was not quick enough to save his designated leader but he does put a stop to the one as he fires so much pure concentrated yellow energy at him that he blows up. This explosion is so powerful that it unwittingly takes out Six Shot who was flying up to try to help the SKS in their very difficult mission. Josh Houslander throws his Glock 10mm and his wooden staff to Jamie Madrox. The multiple man makes 40 multiples of himself with the weapons and they rush into attack (this time the original Jamie Madrox hangs back so he can continue to make multiples and let them do his dirty work). Jet Li & Jackie Chan follow Jengo Fett into battle against the multiples while Griffin Poteracki stands off to the side with a different plan. Since Shockwave joined the team last week and brought along some new technology Griffin has now been outfitted with a little brown lazer on his right arm instead of the Bionic arm he had last week. Griffin begins shooting at the multiples with it hoping that he will get lucky and kill the original Madrox like he did in week 1. Larry & Josh then sneak up the snowy hill behind Griffin and Josh yells "Hey Anonymous, wasn't there somebody you wanted to kick in the nuts". Josh then points his Glock .40 at Griffin and finishes the job Darth Maul started 2 weeks ago. Josh and Larry then slide down the hill and Larry uses his Plumb Hatchet to bust the lazer off of Griffin's arm. Mario's old buddy Toad sees this happening and yells "Hey that's ours, give it back". Larry yells back "if you want this back you are gonna have to beat our team for it" (thus starting what will become the time honored tradition of the "Little Brown Lazer"). Toad and Larry then somehow get on the subject of how delicious mushrooms are before Larry gets pissed off and throws his hatchet at Toad and kills him. Josh and Larry are then cracking up as Josh picks up Toad's ridiculous blood stained hat and puts it on saying "Sorry Larry but the Princess is in another castle". It is at that moment that the 2 Sith Lords who have just recently been given the names Darth Fuzzy and Darth Borat jump down onto the 2 roofers and run their lightsabers through them. Menacer finishes off Bruticus with a right hand/knee combo that busts through his center and sends him crashing down onto his back destroying the unified spark of all the Combaticons. The battered Menacer does not get to enjoy his victory for very long though as the 2 Titans roll in in huge tank like hover craft cymek bodies and blow The Stunticons to pieces. Superman is being greatly affected by the magic of Dr. Strange when Supergirl tries to attack him in his weakened state. Superman is still more than fast enough to dodge Supergirl's attack though so when Dr. Strange's spell is interupted by Supergirl's failed attack Superman takes that split second oppurtunity to fry Strange with his heat vision. Godzilla blasts Chemo with his fire breath accelerating his half life and converting him from nuclear waste to just regular waste, but The Dragon Zord and Tripticon march in to face off against Godzilla and the world's largest side kick King Kong. Godzilla smacks Tripticon in the snout and knocks him to the ground. He then starts breathing fire on him and melting him into liquid metal. The Dragon Zord claws King Kong in the chest and then blasts him with his lazer. This kills the huge ape. The multiples of Jamie Madrox finish off Jet Li and Jackie Chan but Jengo Fett uses his bounty hunting skills to track down the real Madrox. Jamie Madrox drop kicks the bounty hunter and uses his staff to bring him down on the ground but Fett recovers and begins flying backwards with his jet pack while he is firing his twin pistols at Jamie Madrox. He hits the Multiple Man with several shots and kills him; all of his Multiples then disapear. Godzilla then turns to attack the Dragon Zord. He tackles the giant cosmic robot and starts repeatedly punching it in that dumb looking puppet way that Godzilla attacks things. The Dragon Zord is badly banged up when Godzilla finishes him off with his burning breath. The unlikely duo of Mara Jade and Plo Koon move against the 2 Sith Lords. Mara Jade starts shooting at them before her and Koon get there but the Sith dodge the blaster bolts. The Sith jump toward them and before Mara Jade can pull out her lightsaber Darth Fuzzy cuts her in half. Plo Koon stabs Darth Fuzzy through the heart before he even finishes following through with his cut on Mara Jade. Master Koon and Lord Borat start battling with their lightsabers when Plo Koon comes out on top of that battle as well by finishing of the Sith with a head shot. Elixir tries to heal Mara Jade but Shockwave turns into his gun form and blows the mutant away with a huge lazer blast. Shockwave picks up Dr. Strange's dead body in an attempt to rally the troops. He says in his robotic voice "Superman is winning his fight, push forward and destroy what is left of this team". He then transforms back into gun form and blasts Sebastian Shaw before he can make any attack at all. Achilles decides that it is time for him to take control of this fight. He leads as She-Hulk, Cable, and Spider Woman make up his right flank and Deathstroke, The Green Ranger, and Gideon make up his left. The Evil Paul lets Gideon try to take over his powers but much like the other who have tried to see what others cannot see and to be in many places at once Gideon does not have the brain power to handle this especially without being aided by the spice melange. Gideon goes completely brain dead, but Heston along with his trusty M-60 takes his spot. She-Hulk punches Jengo Fett in the head crushing his brain inside his helmet but the 2 Valkyrie jump down from behind and take her out by slicing through her neck's extremely thick skin with their blades. Spider Woman and Deathstoke each take out a Valkyrie by engaging the well trained elite women head on in hand to hand combat. The Lady Jessica gives Spider Women a powerful kick to the stomach and uses the power of voice on Deathstroke to make him pull out his sword and finish the job for her by stabbing Spider Woman. Jessica then uses her voice powers to tell Deathstroke to next kill himself but Deathsroke is actually able to ignore the powerful Bene Gesserit voice by allowing the 90% of his brain that he uses to overide the signal. Deathstroke then chops the head off of the powerful Reverend Mother. Bowser and Gannon move against The Witch King but are no match for his powers. Gannon attempts a spell but is silenced by the pure evil that spills from the leader of the Nazgul. The Witch King stabs Gannon through the heart and then grabs a hold of Bowser's thick neck and strangles him with his mighty gauntlet. Starscream leads Sunstorm and Ramjet against Godzilla. They fly in close blasting him with everything they have got. Ramjet gets a little to close and is batted out of the air by the hands of the monster and Sunstorm gets caught in the jaws of Godzilla as he tried to shoot into his huge opponents mouth. Starscream on the other hand is way to fast to be hit by such attacks. Starscream shoots Godzilla several times in each attack but he finally figures it all out as he comes by for his final pass and puts 2 missles right under the chin of Godzilla. This brings down the huge tenant of Monster Island. Godzilla unfortunetely comes crashing down on the Evil Paul and Taskmaster who were having a very evenly matched and entertaining battle. Achilles rushes in and attacks the Shining Force. He and Tommy Oliver use their superior speed to take out the two Gladiators and they go plowing through all 9 knights even as Arthur attempts to cast Bolt level 2 on them. Sinestro flies down to help and wipes out the rear line of the Shining Force which consisted of all of their Archers and Mages, but Max uses the Chaos Breaker and in a swirl of frost like magic Sinestro is defeated. Mogie attempts to use the Desoul spell on the Witch King but for obvious reasons it does not work. The Witch King slays the magical creature as well as the 4 healers. Wonder Man tries to use his jet pack to go up and help Super Girl and Shazam who are still struggling in their battle against Superman but he is targeted by the Titans and taken out of the air with a ridiculous amount of artillery fire. Starscream also gets hit by the 2 Titans in the wing but before he dies he does something very un-Starscream-like and commits a very selfless act as he directs himself down to the battlefield. As he crashes he takes out what is left of The Shining Force except for Yogurt. Heston runs up to finish off the very weak character of Yogurt but then realizes that it was not Yogurt after all. It was Badhairday wearing the Yogurt ring that they got in last week's fight to disguise himself as Yogurt. Badhairday rips Heston apart with his claws but he meets his match as Sabertooth comes in to play. Sabertooth and the Shining Force's werewolf trade many a harsh scratch with each other but only one of them has a healing factor. This catches up with Badhairday fast as he collapses from a huge amount of lost blood and Sabertooth comes out of the fight just fine. Sabertooth knocks He-Man off of Battle Cat and then rips out Battle Cat's insides with his claws. An infuriated He-Man pulls out his sword and starts to fight with Sabertooth. Sabertooth manages to give He-Man quite a scar with a swipe across his bear chest but He-Man shows that he has the power as he kicks Sabertooth into an iceberg and cuts off his head with The Sword of Grayskull. Cable and Deathstroke join forces to fight Saruman. Saruman blasts Deathstroke with an amazing amount of power from his magical staff but Cable is able to get into the brain of the great wizard and block out his mind for a second while he pulls out his futuristic lazer rifle and blows away the white wizard. The 2 titans see this happen and they blow up Cable by each shooting him with a missle. Achilles has now had enough of the 2 rampaging Cymeks as he decides to take matters into his own hands. He does a somersault on the icey ground in order to pick up 2 fallen weapons from battlefield and then runs up the side of the 1st Titan dodging all of the deadly appendages that the Titan is trying to kill him with. He stabs JayLeno's Devil Lance into the thick clear plaz on top of the Cymek to expose the brain inside it. He then opens up Darth Fuzzy's lightsaber and jams it into the brain of Titan #1 killing it. He then jumps off the side of Titan #1 and sticks the stolen lance through the leg of Titan #1 and into the metallic leg of Titan #2. Titan #2 is now attempting to pull away from the dead Titan to which he is attached but is having trouble. Achilles then backflips up onto the other Titan and climbs up underneath it. He finds a small access panel which he breaks open. While Titan #2 is still trying to detach itself from the other Cymek's dead skeleton Tommy throws Achilles his mystical green dagger which Achilles then shoves into the pink fleshy matter that is Titan #2's brain taking down the 2nd of 2 Original Titans. The unarmed Tommy Oliver kicks Bomber Man into the air back toward his own teammates but Samus shoots her friend Bomber Man before he can land on her and Luke Skywalker who are fighting back to back as less and less people are alive on the battlefield. Samus and Luke attack the unarmed Green Ranger. Luke slices through his chest shield and Samus finishes him off with a blast from her wave ray. Plo Koon jumps up onto Shockwave and with his lightsaber cuts the Decepticon apart. Achilles and The Witch King double team He-Man. He-Man comes within centimeters of Achilles' neck with The Sword of Grayskull but The Witch King gets He-Man under the arm with his cursed sword. It is at this moment when the battlefield is already strewn with bodies that two more dead bodies of once powerful people fall to the ground. What happened in the air went like this. Supergirl and Shazam are flying wildly around Superman attempting to gain the upper hand. Supergirl lands a fairly powerful punch on Superman which sends him into the arms of Shazam. Superman is affected by Shazam's magical powers and is severely weakened as Shazam squeezes the Kryptonian with every bit of energy he can muster. Superman's powers are fading as Supergirl flies at him with all of her remaining strength and speed. She says "sorry cuz" as she uses both of her hands to hit Superman in the face. The Strength of this blow knocks Superman's head back so hard that it crushes Shazam's skull on impact and kills D.C.'s Capt. Marvel. But with this neck breaking punch to the magic weakened last son of Krypton Supergirl accomplishes a Fantasy Fantasy first. Superman dies. As Superman and Shazam's bodies fall to the ground there is still intense battling going on down on the arctic surface. Luke Skywalker runs up toward The Witch King with Samus lending him cover fire. Luke is about to go and stab The Witch King with his lightsaber which would send the evil of Sauron into his arm and consume him, but he hears the voice of his former master and friend Ben Kenobi who tells him to throw the lightsaber instead. Luke throws the lightsaber into the evil Ringwraith and then as the lightsaber falls out of the Nazgul and lays on the ground for a moment Luke uses the force to pick it back up. Samus is shooting lazer beams at Plo Koon but the Jedi Master deflects them all except one that grazes his leg but Master Koon still manages to go in for the kill. He rushes in and cuts off Samus' head. An exhausted Supergirl comes flying to try to help her team but Luke uses the force to jump higher than humanly possible into the air to meet her half way. Luke takes his lightsaber and kills the only person so far who was powerful enough to kill Superman. The force exhausted Luke lands and rushes toward the fallen Plo Koon to finish him off but it is Achilles the Greek warrior prince and son of a god who rushes in to cut the young jedi's lightsaber from his hand and then finish him off with a sword thrust to the chest. In a moment of unadulturated jubilatiion Achilles throws his sword and shield into the air while he gives the Kings of Crunk trademarked "your awesome" finger point to the only other surviver on the battlefield Plo Koon, as he is screaming "I told y'all Motherf@#*s".
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Team Ed is Superman (designated leader), Neo, Trinity, Seraph, King Kong, Godzilla, Fortress Maximus, Swoop, The Combaticons, Blitzwing, Skywarp, Dirge, Iron Hide, Ultra Magnus, Shockwave, Jazz, Astrotrain, Hot Rod, He-Man & Battle Cat, Bomber Man, Bowser: King of Koopa, Gannon, The Shining Force, Samus, Luke Skywalker, Griffin Poteracki, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Saruman the White, Jengo Fett, Original Titan Cymek #1 & 2, Lady Jessica, Valkyrie #1 & 2, The Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Bashar Miles Teg Ghola, Sith Lord #6 & 7, & Toad.
Head Coach Vandal Savage made a last minute change when he switched the designated leader to Darkseid. He originally had Achilles in the spot but when Achilles shared his game plan which consisted of "everybody run behind me and try not to trip over the dead bodies"; Coach Savage decided against him. Darkseid was in protest of the plan that Vandal Savage laid out because he wanted revenge on Superman for week 1 but Savage reminded him that that did not work out very well and that they needed his talents elsewhere. As the match begins Superman does exactly what his head coach The Oracle instructed him to do. In order to avoid the tragedy that they very narrowly diverted in their first battle Superman instantly flies up at speeds much faster than a speeding bullet and punches Scarlet Witch in the head. This instantly kills her and takes her out of the equation. Superman than grabs Snarl by the tail and swings him around in a circle. He slams the Stegosaurus robot down onto the icey ground causing a brief earthquake and turns the Dinobot into nothing more than a collection of nuts and bolts. Darkseid yells to his team "enough of this". He looks over at Supergirl who already knows from the locker room briefing that she is supposed to lead what they have been calling the SKS (Superman kill sqaud). Supergirl is followed by Dr. Strange and Shazam as she takes to the air in an attempt to take out her cousin. Neo begins to do his Superman thing to go and help out Superman but his leg is restrained by a powerful rope of yellow energy. Sinestro then pulls Neo down onto the ground right inbetween him and Darkseid. Darkseid yells to his troops to "protect the secret weapons" as The Stunticons, Grimlock & Slag all gather around Polaris and Circuit Breaker. Polaris lets loose her powers of magnetism like she has never done before as she picks up Fortress Maximus and throws him into the air. As she releases the huge Autobot city allowing it to begin falling to the ground she then takes control of Blitzwing, Hot Rod, Ultra Magnus, Jazz, Iron Hide, & Swoop. She basically uses them as huge bullets as she hurdles them toward Fortress Maximus while he is still in mid-air. All of the Transformers come crashing down through the ice in a huge mangled ball of crushed metal. Skywarp and Dirge attempt to fly in at supersonic speeds but with a flick of her wrist Polaris makes the 2 jets collide and destroy each other on impact. The ghola of the great Bene Gessertit Bashar realizes that something has got to be done quick to stop Polaris before she takes out the whole team. Polaris begins to move Astrotrain with her powers but Miles Teg runs right inbetween the Transformers that are standing guard over Polaris. He moves so fast that the metal eyes of her guardians do not even see him approaching. Miles Teg just touches Polaris but at the speed his body is moving at, it has the affect of her being hit by a train. He knocks Polaris aside and breaks every bone in her body. The exhausted Miles Teg falls over from the over exertion that he has just put his body through, but he knows how much he helped out his team as Grimlock steps on him. Astrotrain, who is being flanked by the smaller Blast Off fly up to where Circuit Breaker is still being protected by Grimlock, Slag, and The Stunticons. Circuit Breaker begins to run up to Astrotrain but as she does The rest of The Combaticons jump out of Astrotrain and the entire Shining Force jumps out of Blast Off. Circuit Breaker is successful in deactivating Astrotrain but she is then killed by Luigie, the Shining Force's Samurai. The Combaticons merge to form Bruticus and The Stunticons merge to form Menacer and the two of them begin pounding on each other heavily. The leader of the Shining Force Max, orders his mages and magic creatures to cast Blaze level 4, Bolt level 4, and 2 different versions of Freeze level 4 these attack spells rip apart the 2 Dinobots Grimlock and Slag. King Kong and Godzilla come stomping onto the scene right next to one another. It is at this time that Tommy decides to pull out his Green knife/flute and call in the help of the mighty Dragonzord. Neo gets up off the ground to find that he is surrounded by Darkseid, Sinestro, & Parasite, but Trinity and Seraph rush in to help him out. Parasite grabs a hold of Trinity and begins to extract her power but Seraph kicks him out of the way and gets her away from him in time. Neo then says "fine, you want some power" and jumps inside the chest of Parasite. Parasite at first thinks that he likes what is happening to him but the power of the one completely overloads the power hungry Parasite causing him to explode and Neo to pop out unharmed. Darkseid then blasts the slightly weakened Trinity with his Omega Beams and burns her alive. Seraph and Neo then run at Darkseid and begin attacking. The bullets that they shoot at him do virtually nothing to hurt him, but they are at first to fast for Darkseid to hit them. Darkseid then gets a hold of Seraph by his neck and squeezes. He crushes Seraph's neck in his hand. Neo then focuses his anger and his strength to swing his open hand in a karate chop motion at Darkseid's neck. With his bear hand he goes right through the rock hard skin of Darkseid and cuts his head right off. Sinestro was not quick enough to save his designated leader but he does put a stop to the one as he fires so much pure concentrated yellow energy at him that he blows up. This explosion is so powerful that it unwittingly takes out Six Shot who was flying up to try to help the SKS in their very difficult mission. Josh Houslander throws his Glock 10mm and his wooden staff to Jamie Madrox. The multiple man makes 40 multiples of himself with the weapons and they rush into attack (this time the original Jamie Madrox hangs back so he can continue to make multiples and let them do his dirty work). Jet Li & Jackie Chan follow Jengo Fett into battle against the multiples while Griffin Poteracki stands off to the side with a different plan. Since Shockwave joined the team last week and brought along some new technology Griffin has now been outfitted with a little brown lazer on his right arm instead of the Bionic arm he had last week. Griffin begins shooting at the multiples with it hoping that he will get lucky and kill the original Madrox like he did in week 1. Larry & Josh then sneak up the snowy hill behind Griffin and Josh yells "Hey Anonymous, wasn't there somebody you wanted to kick in the nuts". Josh then points his Glock .40 at Griffin and finishes the job Darth Maul started 2 weeks ago. Josh and Larry then slide down the hill and Larry uses his Plumb Hatchet to bust the lazer off of Griffin's arm. Mario's old buddy Toad sees this happening and yells "Hey that's ours, give it back". Larry yells back "if you want this back you are gonna have to beat our team for it" (thus starting what will become the time honored tradition of the "Little Brown Lazer"). Toad and Larry then somehow get on the subject of how delicious mushrooms are before Larry gets pissed off and throws his hatchet at Toad and kills him. Josh and Larry are then cracking up as Josh picks up Toad's ridiculous blood stained hat and puts it on saying "Sorry Larry but the Princess is in another castle". It is at that moment that the 2 Sith Lords who have just recently been given the names Darth Fuzzy and Darth Borat jump down onto the 2 roofers and run their lightsabers through them. Menacer finishes off Bruticus with a right hand/knee combo that busts through his center and sends him crashing down onto his back destroying the unified spark of all the Combaticons. The battered Menacer does not get to enjoy his victory for very long though as the 2 Titans roll in in huge tank like hover craft cymek bodies and blow The Stunticons to pieces. Superman is being greatly affected by the magic of Dr. Strange when Supergirl tries to attack him in his weakened state. Superman is still more than fast enough to dodge Supergirl's attack though so when Dr. Strange's spell is interupted by Supergirl's failed attack Superman takes that split second oppurtunity to fry Strange with his heat vision. Godzilla blasts Chemo with his fire breath accelerating his half life and converting him from nuclear waste to just regular waste, but The Dragon Zord and Tripticon march in to face off against Godzilla and the world's largest side kick King Kong. Godzilla smacks Tripticon in the snout and knocks him to the ground. He then starts breathing fire on him and melting him into liquid metal. The Dragon Zord claws King Kong in the chest and then blasts him with his lazer. This kills the huge ape. The multiples of Jamie Madrox finish off Jet Li and Jackie Chan but Jengo Fett uses his bounty hunting skills to track down the real Madrox. Jamie Madrox drop kicks the bounty hunter and uses his staff to bring him down on the ground but Fett recovers and begins flying backwards with his jet pack while he is firing his twin pistols at Jamie Madrox. He hits the Multiple Man with several shots and kills him; all of his Multiples then disapear. Godzilla then turns to attack the Dragon Zord. He tackles the giant cosmic robot and starts repeatedly punching it in that dumb looking puppet way that Godzilla attacks things. The Dragon Zord is badly banged up when Godzilla finishes him off with his burning breath. The unlikely duo of Mara Jade and Plo Koon move against the 2 Sith Lords. Mara Jade starts shooting at them before her and Koon get there but the Sith dodge the blaster bolts. The Sith jump toward them and before Mara Jade can pull out her lightsaber Darth Fuzzy cuts her in half. Plo Koon stabs Darth Fuzzy through the heart before he even finishes following through with his cut on Mara Jade. Master Koon and Lord Borat start battling with their lightsabers when Plo Koon comes out on top of that battle as well by finishing of the Sith with a head shot. Elixir tries to heal Mara Jade but Shockwave turns into his gun form and blows the mutant away with a huge lazer blast. Shockwave picks up Dr. Strange's dead body in an attempt to rally the troops. He says in his robotic voice "Superman is winning his fight, push forward and destroy what is left of this team". He then transforms back into gun form and blasts Sebastian Shaw before he can make any attack at all. Achilles decides that it is time for him to take control of this fight. He leads as She-Hulk, Cable, and Spider Woman make up his right flank and Deathstroke, The Green Ranger, and Gideon make up his left. The Evil Paul lets Gideon try to take over his powers but much like the other who have tried to see what others cannot see and to be in many places at once Gideon does not have the brain power to handle this especially without being aided by the spice melange. Gideon goes completely brain dead, but Heston along with his trusty M-60 takes his spot. She-Hulk punches Jengo Fett in the head crushing his brain inside his helmet but the 2 Valkyrie jump down from behind and take her out by slicing through her neck's extremely thick skin with their blades. Spider Woman and Deathstoke each take out a Valkyrie by engaging the well trained elite women head on in hand to hand combat. The Lady Jessica gives Spider Women a powerful kick to the stomach and uses the power of voice on Deathstroke to make him pull out his sword and finish the job for her by stabbing Spider Woman. Jessica then uses her voice powers to tell Deathstroke to next kill himself but Deathsroke is actually able to ignore the powerful Bene Gesserit voice by allowing the 90% of his brain that he uses to overide the signal. Deathstroke then chops the head off of the powerful Reverend Mother. Bowser and Gannon move against The Witch King but are no match for his powers. Gannon attempts a spell but is silenced by the pure evil that spills from the leader of the Nazgul. The Witch King stabs Gannon through the heart and then grabs a hold of Bowser's thick neck and strangles him with his mighty gauntlet. Starscream leads Sunstorm and Ramjet against Godzilla. They fly in close blasting him with everything they have got. Ramjet gets a little to close and is batted out of the air by the hands of the monster and Sunstorm gets caught in the jaws of Godzilla as he tried to shoot into his huge opponents mouth. Starscream on the other hand is way to fast to be hit by such attacks. Starscream shoots Godzilla several times in each attack but he finally figures it all out as he comes by for his final pass and puts 2 missles right under the chin of Godzilla. This brings down the huge tenant of Monster Island. Godzilla unfortunetely comes crashing down on the Evil Paul and Taskmaster who were having a very evenly matched and entertaining battle. Achilles rushes in and attacks the Shining Force. He and Tommy Oliver use their superior speed to take out the two Gladiators and they go plowing through all 9 knights even as Arthur attempts to cast Bolt level 2 on them. Sinestro flies down to help and wipes out the rear line of the Shining Force which consisted of all of their Archers and Mages, but Max uses the Chaos Breaker and in a swirl of frost like magic Sinestro is defeated. Mogie attempts to use the Desoul spell on the Witch King but for obvious reasons it does not work. The Witch King slays the magical creature as well as the 4 healers. Wonder Man tries to use his jet pack to go up and help Super Girl and Shazam who are still struggling in their battle against Superman but he is targeted by the Titans and taken out of the air with a ridiculous amount of artillery fire. Starscream also gets hit by the 2 Titans in the wing but before he dies he does something very un-Starscream-like and commits a very selfless act as he directs himself down to the battlefield. As he crashes he takes out what is left of The Shining Force except for Yogurt. Heston runs up to finish off the very weak character of Yogurt but then realizes that it was not Yogurt after all. It was Badhairday wearing the Yogurt ring that they got in last week's fight to disguise himself as Yogurt. Badhairday rips Heston apart with his claws but he meets his match as Sabertooth comes in to play. Sabertooth and the Shining Force's werewolf trade many a harsh scratch with each other but only one of them has a healing factor. This catches up with Badhairday fast as he collapses from a huge amount of lost blood and Sabertooth comes out of the fight just fine. Sabertooth knocks He-Man off of Battle Cat and then rips out Battle Cat's insides with his claws. An infuriated He-Man pulls out his sword and starts to fight with Sabertooth. Sabertooth manages to give He-Man quite a scar with a swipe across his bear chest but He-Man shows that he has the power as he kicks Sabertooth into an iceberg and cuts off his head with The Sword of Grayskull. Cable and Deathstroke join forces to fight Saruman. Saruman blasts Deathstroke with an amazing amount of power from his magical staff but Cable is able to get into the brain of the great wizard and block out his mind for a second while he pulls out his futuristic lazer rifle and blows away the white wizard. The 2 titans see this happen and they blow up Cable by each shooting him with a missle. Achilles has now had enough of the 2 rampaging Cymeks as he decides to take matters into his own hands. He does a somersault on the icey ground in order to pick up 2 fallen weapons from battlefield and then runs up the side of the 1st Titan dodging all of the deadly appendages that the Titan is trying to kill him with. He stabs JayLeno's Devil Lance into the thick clear plaz on top of the Cymek to expose the brain inside it. He then opens up Darth Fuzzy's lightsaber and jams it into the brain of Titan #1 killing it. He then jumps off the side of Titan #1 and sticks the stolen lance through the leg of Titan #1 and into the metallic leg of Titan #2. Titan #2 is now attempting to pull away from the dead Titan to which he is attached but is having trouble. Achilles then backflips up onto the other Titan and climbs up underneath it. He finds a small access panel which he breaks open. While Titan #2 is still trying to detach itself from the other Cymek's dead skeleton Tommy throws Achilles his mystical green dagger which Achilles then shoves into the pink fleshy matter that is Titan #2's brain taking down the 2nd of 2 Original Titans. The unarmed Tommy Oliver kicks Bomber Man into the air back toward his own teammates but Samus shoots her friend Bomber Man before he can land on her and Luke Skywalker who are fighting back to back as less and less people are alive on the battlefield. Samus and Luke attack the unarmed Green Ranger. Luke slices through his chest shield and Samus finishes him off with a blast from her wave ray. Plo Koon jumps up onto Shockwave and with his lightsaber cuts the Decepticon apart. Achilles and The Witch King double team He-Man. He-Man comes within centimeters of Achilles' neck with The Sword of Grayskull but The Witch King gets He-Man under the arm with his cursed sword. It is at this moment when the battlefield is already strewn with bodies that two more dead bodies of once powerful people fall to the ground. What happened in the air went like this. Supergirl and Shazam are flying wildly around Superman attempting to gain the upper hand. Supergirl lands a fairly powerful punch on Superman which sends him into the arms of Shazam. Superman is affected by Shazam's magical powers and is severely weakened as Shazam squeezes the Kryptonian with every bit of energy he can muster. Superman's powers are fading as Supergirl flies at him with all of her remaining strength and speed. She says "sorry cuz" as she uses both of her hands to hit Superman in the face. The Strength of this blow knocks Superman's head back so hard that it crushes Shazam's skull on impact and kills D.C.'s Capt. Marvel. But with this neck breaking punch to the magic weakened last son of Krypton Supergirl accomplishes a Fantasy Fantasy first. Superman dies. As Superman and Shazam's bodies fall to the ground there is still intense battling going on down on the arctic surface. Luke Skywalker runs up toward The Witch King with Samus lending him cover fire. Luke is about to go and stab The Witch King with his lightsaber which would send the evil of Sauron into his arm and consume him, but he hears the voice of his former master and friend Ben Kenobi who tells him to throw the lightsaber instead. Luke throws the lightsaber into the evil Ringwraith and then as the lightsaber falls out of the Nazgul and lays on the ground for a moment Luke uses the force to pick it back up. Samus is shooting lazer beams at Plo Koon but the Jedi Master deflects them all except one that grazes his leg but Master Koon still manages to go in for the kill. He rushes in and cuts off Samus' head. An exhausted Supergirl comes flying to try to help her team but Luke uses the force to jump higher than humanly possible into the air to meet her half way. Luke takes his lightsaber and kills the only person so far who was powerful enough to kill Superman. The force exhausted Luke lands and rushes toward the fallen Plo Koon to finish him off but it is Achilles the Greek warrior prince and son of a god who rushes in to cut the young jedi's lightsaber from his hand and then finish him off with a sword thrust to the chest. In a moment of unadulturated jubilatiion Achilles throws his sword and shield into the air while he gives the Kings of Crunk trademarked "your awesome" finger point to the only other surviver on the battlefield Plo Koon, as he is screaming "I told y'all Motherf@#*s".
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Press Release
Much controversy has been started over the looming "match of the week" between The Horsemen of Apokolips and Team Ed. Achilles is holding another press conference this afternoon, most people expect him to take back some of the statements he has made. We went into the Team Ed locker room this afternoon to hear what people had to say about the self proclaimed "Yankees/Red Sox" of Fantasy Fantasy. Griffin Poteracki, who was working on "something special" for his bionic arm wanted to be put on record as saying that "Achilles is a punk". Hot Rod was quoted as saying "Hey we beat the horsemen before and we're gonna do it again". Trinity added off the record "to give her 5 minutes and she'll tear that whole G@#&*$n team apart. R2-D2 then said something in droid ease that C-3P0 vehemently refused to translate.
THE PRESS CONFERENCE:
Achilles came up to the microphone this afternoon and said the following: "There has been a lot of talk about my comments from earlier in the week and I would like to set the record straight. I AM guarenteeing a victory in Week 5. You can print it on the top of the blog, the bottom of the blog, or the middle of the blog; We will win Game 2". Achilles then said "No questions" as he punched the microphone and walked off the stage.
THE PRESS CONFERENCE:
Achilles came up to the microphone this afternoon and said the following: "There has been a lot of talk about my comments from earlier in the week and I would like to set the record straight. I AM guarenteeing a victory in Week 5. You can print it on the top of the blog, the bottom of the blog, or the middle of the blog; We will win Game 2". Achilles then said "No questions" as he punched the microphone and walked off the stage.
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murder Flies
George Washingtons' Slaves are Yoda w/ Kybuck, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1-15, Wedge Antilles, Admiral Ackbar, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Cosmos, Fizzle, Sauron, Metroid #19 & 20, Duncan Idaho Ghola #7, Ginaz Swordsmen #1-6, Sonny, Thor, Jimmy Nuetron, Collossus, Arisia, Uncle Buck, Martian Manhunter, Ryan Poteracki, Amy Damico, Al Dizzle, Cave Dump, Ryan Burke, Corbin Dallas, Crash Bandicoot, Marty Mcfly, Jason Bourne, Rocky Balboa, T-1000, Kyle Reese, Santa Claus w/ Rudolf, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, Frankenstein's Monster, Jack Daniels, Cosmo Kramer, & Bender "Bending" Rodriguez.
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Brock Sampson, Guy Gardner & G'Nort, Howard the Duck, Beatrix Kiddo, Batgirl, Mystery Inc: Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, & Scooby-Doo w/ Scooby Dumb, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, Ron Popeil, Shatterstar, Kyle Ranier, Booster Gold, Mecha Godzilla, Rancor #1, Clone Trooper #26-80, U.S. Marine #1-65, & Ewok #4-6.
Cosmos lands on top of Booster Gold and kills him. Cosmos' hatch opens up and George Washington's Slaves all run out. Shaak Ti and Ki Adi Mundi bring along Crash Bandicoot as they move against Guy Gardner. Gardner crashes Bandicoot with a giant green anvil and then uses his ring to create a green saber as he begins to fence with the 2 blue sabers of Ti & Mundi. Guy Gardner puts up a good defensive posture against the 2 Jedi but is arrogant to think he could beat 2 Jedis at their own game. Ki Adi Mundi and Shaak Ti move in unison as Ki Adi chops off Guy's arm and Shaak Ti finishes him off. Duncan Idaho leads the Ginaz Swordsmen against Brock Sampson and Shatterstar. The extremely skilled fighters activate their shields and overtake their opponents. Sampson manages to kill Swordsmen #2 and Shatterstar takes out #1 & 4 but he is pulled down and stabbed to death by the remaining swordsmen while Brock is killed by Duncan Idaho himself with a slice to the neck. Rocky sits down next to Santa as T-1000 and Sonny throw all the presents out of the back of the sleigh so they can make room to get in. Santa then takes off with all of them and begins flying toward the huge Mecha-Godzilla. Ryan Burke runs over to get the stuff that has "fallen out of the back of the sleigh" when he is stepped on by the mighty Rancor. Yoda, is a Whil on a mission since this is his first week back after he was benched by President Washington do to his dissapointing week 1 death at the hands of Poison Ivy. He jumps on the back of his 2 legged steed Kybuck and leads the 15 Jedi Masters into battle against 55 Clone Troopers and 65 Marines. The Jedi tear through the ranks of the soldiers; they use their lightsabers as not only instuments of destruction but also as a means of defense as they block shots from the guns of the soldiers disintegrating the bullets and deflecting the blaster bolts back. The Marines manage to shoot Masters #1, 3, 6, & 8 as well as killing #11 & 15 with their skills in hand to hand combat. The Clone Troopers only kill Jedi Masters #2, 13, & 14 before every last Marine and Trooper are killed with Yoda hoping that Coach Washington was watching as he himself brought down 12 Marines and 17 Troopers (not including Kybuck's 2 Trooper kills). Wedge Antilles kills Howard the Duck with his resentment as he finds out that they were both created by the same person. The Rancor picks up Roller who was stuck in the snow and throws him at Frankenstein's monster busting its stitches apart and rekilling it, but Optimus Prime pulls out his lazer rifle and begins firing at the Rancor. The Rancor screams in pain but the blaster shots are not strong enough to kill the giant beast. Optimus runs up as if to tackle the Rancor but transforms into truck form in mid-air to add to the hit. Optimus then quickly transforms back into robot form and as Rancor #1 screams while it is attempting to get up, Optimus shoots several shots from his rifle into the Rancor's mouth and kills it. Ryan & Amy are to busy working on wedding plans to help in the fight. Jimmy Nuetron and Bender get back into Cosmos and he takes off. None of them notice that Batgirl has shot her bat-hook into the side of it and is pulling herself and Beatrix Kiddo into the side window. Marty Mcfly on the other hand does notice as he runs toward the vacating flying saucer to warn them of the sneak attack. As he is running he hears somebody say "Jenkies" and all of the sudden gets tied up in a cable. He then slides across the ice on his butt and lands in a snow bank face first. He is pulled out of the snow by a tall dude in a neckerchief who says lets pull off his Micheal J. Fox mask and find out who he really is. Daphne Blake then rips his head off on accident as Shaggy exclaims "Zoinks! Like, I guess it wasn't a mask after all"! Scooby-Doo and his cousin Scooby-Dumb then eat the body and Shaggy says "like, I got the munchies to Scoob but I would rather have a double anchovies pizza" (laugh track comes on). Beatrix Kiddo and Batgirl climb in through Cosmos' window and attack the people inside. Batgirl does a spin kick which knocks Bender over by the window that they just climbed in. She then knocks him out the window and sends him crashing into the icey water below them. The Bride stabs Jimmy Neutron in his oversized head. Batgirl and The Bride then run over to the area where Jimmy Neutron was working and see that he was creating a new kind of bomb to use against their team. They stick the bomb into Cosmos' core and jump out the window before it blows him apart. They are caught by the Power Puff Girls who bring them down to the ground safely. Cosmo Kramer and Uncle Buck are riding around in Fizzle who has transformed into his off road racing vehicle form. G'Nort flies in to attack them but when he lands on the hood of the Midget Outlaw Racer he clumsily misses as he attempts to shoot them with green energy. G'Nort is yanked inside and then somehow beaten to death by Uncle Buck and Kramer. Kramer puts on G'Nort's oddly shaped green lantern ring and then him, Uncle Buck, & Fizzle use it to fly to Hollywood where they pitch a Fantasy Fantasy buddy/situation comedy spin-off starring the 3 of them (I smell an Emmy). Santa flies in toward Mecha-Godzilla and his reindeer gracefully dodge every attack the huge robot makes. They fly in close to M.G. and as they are over top of him T-1000 and Sonny both jump out on top of its head. Sonny uses his dense alloy to break a hole into the back of Mecha-Godzilla's neck and then T-1000 in his liquid metal state oozes into the hole. Mecha-Godzilla manages to knock Sonny off and kill him but the damage is already done. T-1000 gets inside and destroys the core of whatever it is that makes Mecha-Godzilla work. They both die in the huge explosion that occurs but Santa just barely gets far enough away from the blast. The 2 Metroids are already frozen (because it is the Arctic) so Kyle Ranier uses his power ring to create 10 missles and hits each of them with 5. Jack Daniels hands Ewok #5 a shot and Al Dawg passes him a doobie. The reaction that the happy little ewok has is hilarious. Which is why Al Dawg laughs himself to death. Kyle Ranier then lands in front of Sauron and gets ready to do battle but Sauron's homeboy Thor bails him out again as he throws Mjonir at the green lantern and knocks him down by Sauron's feet. The Dark Lord then stomps on his head with his huge metal boots and runs him through with his sword. Ron Popeil has devised a snow mobile that can fly and shoot concentrated energy out of its skies but before he can do anything cool with it, he gets knocked off of it by Jason Bourne. Bourne then jumps back over by Popeil and does a karate chop/ double kick combo before he shoots Ron in the head. He then runs over to Ewok #4 & 6 and snaps both of their little furry necks with a well-placed double drop kick. Adm. Ackbar hopes that nobody notices that he hasn't done anything in this match. George Washington made sure to stress to his people over the last week to not underestimate the Power Puff Girls. Which is why Kyle Reese, Collossus, Arisia, and Martian Manhunter all attack them togeather. The Power Puff girls fly in to meet the challenge. Blossom punches Reese's head right off and Buttercup flies right through the organic metal chest of Collossus. Arisia blasts Bubbles with a burst of green energy which stuns her and Martian Manhunter grabs her out of the air and finishes the job as he pulls her apart. The 2 remaining Power Puff girls then realize that they are surrounded by Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Jason Bourne, Santa Claus, Rocky, & Optimus Prime. Blossom & Buttercup then look over to their right to see The Bride and Batgirl surrounded by Yoda, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, and 6 more Jedi Masters. Blossom and Buttercup then fly over as fast as they can and grab Batgirl and Beatrix in an act of retreat as they fly away. Scoob & Shag and the gang all begin to let their legs run in place in a circle for a couple seconds before they retreat. They all escape except for Scooby Dumb who gets shot by Corbin Dallas after he slips on a banana peel. Ewok #5 stumbles home.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Brock Sampson, Guy Gardner & G'Nort, Howard the Duck, Beatrix Kiddo, Batgirl, Mystery Inc: Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, & Scooby-Doo w/ Scooby Dumb, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, Ron Popeil, Shatterstar, Kyle Ranier, Booster Gold, Mecha Godzilla, Rancor #1, Clone Trooper #26-80, U.S. Marine #1-65, & Ewok #4-6.
Cosmos lands on top of Booster Gold and kills him. Cosmos' hatch opens up and George Washington's Slaves all run out. Shaak Ti and Ki Adi Mundi bring along Crash Bandicoot as they move against Guy Gardner. Gardner crashes Bandicoot with a giant green anvil and then uses his ring to create a green saber as he begins to fence with the 2 blue sabers of Ti & Mundi. Guy Gardner puts up a good defensive posture against the 2 Jedi but is arrogant to think he could beat 2 Jedis at their own game. Ki Adi Mundi and Shaak Ti move in unison as Ki Adi chops off Guy's arm and Shaak Ti finishes him off. Duncan Idaho leads the Ginaz Swordsmen against Brock Sampson and Shatterstar. The extremely skilled fighters activate their shields and overtake their opponents. Sampson manages to kill Swordsmen #2 and Shatterstar takes out #1 & 4 but he is pulled down and stabbed to death by the remaining swordsmen while Brock is killed by Duncan Idaho himself with a slice to the neck. Rocky sits down next to Santa as T-1000 and Sonny throw all the presents out of the back of the sleigh so they can make room to get in. Santa then takes off with all of them and begins flying toward the huge Mecha-Godzilla. Ryan Burke runs over to get the stuff that has "fallen out of the back of the sleigh" when he is stepped on by the mighty Rancor. Yoda, is a Whil on a mission since this is his first week back after he was benched by President Washington do to his dissapointing week 1 death at the hands of Poison Ivy. He jumps on the back of his 2 legged steed Kybuck and leads the 15 Jedi Masters into battle against 55 Clone Troopers and 65 Marines. The Jedi tear through the ranks of the soldiers; they use their lightsabers as not only instuments of destruction but also as a means of defense as they block shots from the guns of the soldiers disintegrating the bullets and deflecting the blaster bolts back. The Marines manage to shoot Masters #1, 3, 6, & 8 as well as killing #11 & 15 with their skills in hand to hand combat. The Clone Troopers only kill Jedi Masters #2, 13, & 14 before every last Marine and Trooper are killed with Yoda hoping that Coach Washington was watching as he himself brought down 12 Marines and 17 Troopers (not including Kybuck's 2 Trooper kills). Wedge Antilles kills Howard the Duck with his resentment as he finds out that they were both created by the same person. The Rancor picks up Roller who was stuck in the snow and throws him at Frankenstein's monster busting its stitches apart and rekilling it, but Optimus Prime pulls out his lazer rifle and begins firing at the Rancor. The Rancor screams in pain but the blaster shots are not strong enough to kill the giant beast. Optimus runs up as if to tackle the Rancor but transforms into truck form in mid-air to add to the hit. Optimus then quickly transforms back into robot form and as Rancor #1 screams while it is attempting to get up, Optimus shoots several shots from his rifle into the Rancor's mouth and kills it. Ryan & Amy are to busy working on wedding plans to help in the fight. Jimmy Nuetron and Bender get back into Cosmos and he takes off. None of them notice that Batgirl has shot her bat-hook into the side of it and is pulling herself and Beatrix Kiddo into the side window. Marty Mcfly on the other hand does notice as he runs toward the vacating flying saucer to warn them of the sneak attack. As he is running he hears somebody say "Jenkies" and all of the sudden gets tied up in a cable. He then slides across the ice on his butt and lands in a snow bank face first. He is pulled out of the snow by a tall dude in a neckerchief who says lets pull off his Micheal J. Fox mask and find out who he really is. Daphne Blake then rips his head off on accident as Shaggy exclaims "Zoinks! Like, I guess it wasn't a mask after all"! Scooby-Doo and his cousin Scooby-Dumb then eat the body and Shaggy says "like, I got the munchies to Scoob but I would rather have a double anchovies pizza" (laugh track comes on). Beatrix Kiddo and Batgirl climb in through Cosmos' window and attack the people inside. Batgirl does a spin kick which knocks Bender over by the window that they just climbed in. She then knocks him out the window and sends him crashing into the icey water below them. The Bride stabs Jimmy Neutron in his oversized head. Batgirl and The Bride then run over to the area where Jimmy Neutron was working and see that he was creating a new kind of bomb to use against their team. They stick the bomb into Cosmos' core and jump out the window before it blows him apart. They are caught by the Power Puff Girls who bring them down to the ground safely. Cosmo Kramer and Uncle Buck are riding around in Fizzle who has transformed into his off road racing vehicle form. G'Nort flies in to attack them but when he lands on the hood of the Midget Outlaw Racer he clumsily misses as he attempts to shoot them with green energy. G'Nort is yanked inside and then somehow beaten to death by Uncle Buck and Kramer. Kramer puts on G'Nort's oddly shaped green lantern ring and then him, Uncle Buck, & Fizzle use it to fly to Hollywood where they pitch a Fantasy Fantasy buddy/situation comedy spin-off starring the 3 of them (I smell an Emmy). Santa flies in toward Mecha-Godzilla and his reindeer gracefully dodge every attack the huge robot makes. They fly in close to M.G. and as they are over top of him T-1000 and Sonny both jump out on top of its head. Sonny uses his dense alloy to break a hole into the back of Mecha-Godzilla's neck and then T-1000 in his liquid metal state oozes into the hole. Mecha-Godzilla manages to knock Sonny off and kill him but the damage is already done. T-1000 gets inside and destroys the core of whatever it is that makes Mecha-Godzilla work. They both die in the huge explosion that occurs but Santa just barely gets far enough away from the blast. The 2 Metroids are already frozen (because it is the Arctic) so Kyle Ranier uses his power ring to create 10 missles and hits each of them with 5. Jack Daniels hands Ewok #5 a shot and Al Dawg passes him a doobie. The reaction that the happy little ewok has is hilarious. Which is why Al Dawg laughs himself to death. Kyle Ranier then lands in front of Sauron and gets ready to do battle but Sauron's homeboy Thor bails him out again as he throws Mjonir at the green lantern and knocks him down by Sauron's feet. The Dark Lord then stomps on his head with his huge metal boots and runs him through with his sword. Ron Popeil has devised a snow mobile that can fly and shoot concentrated energy out of its skies but before he can do anything cool with it, he gets knocked off of it by Jason Bourne. Bourne then jumps back over by Popeil and does a karate chop/ double kick combo before he shoots Ron in the head. He then runs over to Ewok #4 & 6 and snaps both of their little furry necks with a well-placed double drop kick. Adm. Ackbar hopes that nobody notices that he hasn't done anything in this match. George Washington made sure to stress to his people over the last week to not underestimate the Power Puff Girls. Which is why Kyle Reese, Collossus, Arisia, and Martian Manhunter all attack them togeather. The Power Puff girls fly in to meet the challenge. Blossom punches Reese's head right off and Buttercup flies right through the organic metal chest of Collossus. Arisia blasts Bubbles with a burst of green energy which stuns her and Martian Manhunter grabs her out of the air and finishes the job as he pulls her apart. The 2 remaining Power Puff girls then realize that they are surrounded by Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Jason Bourne, Santa Claus, Rocky, & Optimus Prime. Blossom & Buttercup then look over to their right to see The Bride and Batgirl surrounded by Yoda, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, and 6 more Jedi Masters. Blossom and Buttercup then fly over as fast as they can and grab Batgirl and Beatrix in an act of retreat as they fly away. Scoob & Shag and the gang all begin to let their legs run in place in a circle for a couple seconds before they retreat. They all escape except for Scooby Dumb who gets shot by Corbin Dallas after he slips on a banana peel. Ewok #5 stumbles home.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Right Wing Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Right Wing is Snowtrooper #1-24, Elite Stormtrooper #1-12, Poseiden, Zues, Mr. Freeze, Jedi Knight #16-21, Duncan Idaho ghola #6, Athena, Green Goblin, Storm, Ullysses S. Grant, Blackfire, John Stewart, Army Soldier #131-147, Droid Fighter Ship #1-4, & Gondor Soldier #1-24.
Le' Napoleon Brigade is Penguin, Catwoman, Obi Wan Kenobi, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, Horse #1-18, John Mclaine, Man at Arms & Teela, Morpheus, Jolly Green Giant, Sprout, The Farmer, Evil Lynn, Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troops #1-15, Princess Leia, Jedi Master #31-40, Even Piel, Skyfire, Alan Scott, Silver Dragon #1-3, & Jedi Knight #1-15.
Le' Napoleon Brigade is Penguin, Catwoman, Obi Wan Kenobi, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, Horse #1-18, John Mclaine, Man at Arms & Teela, Morpheus, Jolly Green Giant, Sprout, The Farmer, Evil Lynn, Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troops #1-15, Princess Leia, Jedi Master #31-40, Even Piel, Skyfire, Alan Scott, Silver Dragon #1-3, & Jedi Knight #1-15.
Napoleon Bonaparte layed out a strict battle plan for today's attack and expects his brigade to easily achieve victory if they just follow the battle plan. The calvary assembles as Penguin, Catwoman, Obi Wan, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, John Mclaine, Man at Arms, Teela, Morpheus, Leia, Farmer, Evil Lynn, Karg, Jedi Master #31, 32, & 33, & Even Piel all get on a horse (Sprout is sharing with his new BFF Even Piel). They begin to ride into battle but The Right Wing is no where to be found; Princess Leia says "I have a bad feeling about this". Aragorn, who always seems to have a sense of what is going to happen next yells "Quick! Everybody kill their horse". As he is saying it he pulls out the sword that cut the ring and kills his own horse. Gandalf & John Mclaine don't get it but they listen and kill their horses as well. Penguin stabs his without thinking twice and Evil Lynn & Karg do the same. Arwen says "but why are we killing these beautiful animals, I refuse". Gandalf says "Just listen to him"! Obi Wan and Even Piel listen and so do Man at Arms, Morpheus, and Princess Leia but the 3 other stubborn Jedi Masters do not follow the strange request. Just then the once tame horses throw their riders off of their backs and turn around in a fierce attack which is very unhorse-like. They bite the necks of their riders killing Jedi Master #31, 32, & 33, Teela, Catwoman, & Arwen. Aragorn knows his horses well and hated committing such an evil but he knew that there was something very wrong with the horses. What had happened was simple, you see Poseiden is not just the god of the sea but is the god of two other things as well one of them being horses. With nothing more than a thought the Greek god turned the horses against their masters. Once the suprise was over the Jedi Knights and Masters who were on foot rushed in to dispatch the other 6 crazed horses with their lightsabers but not before Horse #2 stomps The Farmer to death. The brigade begins to run up the snowy hill to attempt to fortify their positions, despite how much harder it is to do without horses. Poseiden then jumps into the icey water and shows off the other lesser known thing that he is the god of, which is earthquakes. He creates a fairly large quake which completely throws Le Petit Caporal's team off guard. Then John Stewart flies in with a huge green bubble trailing behind him. He lowers the bubble onto the ground and opens it revealing the entire Right Wing team which he had suspended in mid-air above the battlefield so they would not be hurt in the earthquake. The quake affected everybody on the team but before Poseiden jumped into the water he targeted it around the most visible threat. The Jolly Green Giant was hit hard by the quake and as they say, the bigger they are the harder they fall. As he hit the frosty ground the giant broke many bones (or maybe it's stalks?) including its neck. As they are rushing in toward the retreating brigade Duncan Idaho gets a laugh from the army soldiers as he quips "I always hated frozen vegetables". Gen. Grant replies with "What's a frozen vegetable". The well-trained Snow Troopers followed by their elite counterparts use their blasters while both the American and Gondor soldiers back them up with bullets and arrows. They all use the element of suprise to start shooting at the Jedi's who are holding up the rear of Le' Napoleon Brigade who already seems to be retreating to the top of the hill. They are very successful at taking them off guard as they mow down all of the Jedi except Knight #1, 2, & 3 who are in the air riding on the 3 Silver Dragons. The Jedi only manage to deflect blaster bolts back at the elite Stormtroopers who although being well-trained are not as good at blending in with the snow-covered landscape; Elite Stormtrooper #4, 5, 6, 9, 11, & 12 all die when they are hit by their own returned blaster bolts. John Stewart takes to the air leading the 4 Droid ships behind him against the 3 Silver Dragons. The Silver Dragons fly in close to the droid ships to find out that their firey breath does not have much affect on the metal hulls of the droids, but in a daring move the 3 Jedi's jump off the backs of the dragons and onto the large flying droids. They tear them apart with their lightsabers but unfortunetely by the time they are done they have nothing to jump back on to because all 3 of their dragons are already dead. John Stewart had blown Dragons #1 & 3 apart with his power ring. Stewart then moved against Dragon #2 but was hit in the back by a missle from Skyfire who is being ordered around by Evil Lynn from inside his cockpit. The saving of Dragon #2 is somewhat in vein though as Droid Fighter Ship #4 targets it with a proton torpedo and kills it. A dog fight ensues between the last remaining droid ship and Starfire but it does not last very long as Starfire swoops in behind the droid and blows it out of the air. Zues ignores what is going on in the rest of the battle because he has only one thing in mind, and that is to find Obi Wan and get revenge for what happened in week 2 (this is what forced rivalries are all about baby). Zues lands in front of Obi Wan causing the Jedi Master to stop in his tracks. Zues' voice echos as he states "You may have gotten lucky last time mortal but you will not be so successful in our rematch". "I will do what I must" Obi Wan replies as he backs away from the mighty lightning wielding god with his lightsaber drawn. Zues screams "You dare stand alone against the ruler of Mt. Olympus". "Not Alone" is the last thing Zues hears as Gandalf and Even Piel come from behind to rescue their friend. Gandalf blasts the god with Valor power from his staff and Even Piel provides his strongest possible force push to send Zues face first into the snow at Obi Wan's feet giving Kenobi the oppurtunity to once again remove Zues' head. Sprout yells "That's what I'm talkin about"! as he thinks to himself "why the hell did they play a walking vegetable in the arctic, I am freezing my buds off". Mr. Freeze freezes Karg to the already frozen ground and then Green Goblin pumpkin bombs the icicled Karg to bits from the air. Aragorn & Man at Arms volunteer to hold off the charging Right Wing as the rest of the retreating Napoleonic forces rush to take cover on the snow covered hills. Aragorn and Man at Arms fight fiercely after the deaths of Teela and Arwen have sent them into complete rages, but they are grossely outnumbered. Despite how good things look The Right Wing's forces are still trying to figure out what the other side is trying to accomplish. Man at Arms gets a couple of Gondor's soldiers and Aragorn gets a couple Storm Troopers but they are overtaken as Aragorn is simultaneousely stabbed by Poseiden's trident and Idaho's blade and Man at Arms is ripped apart by Blackfire after Storm struck him with lightning. Athena, the god of strategy looks over to the person who she has recently developed much respect for, Ullysses S. Grant. She says "There is something that scares me about this battle". Gen Grant then gets a startled look on his face as he remembers "this is exactly like something I studied at West Pointe". At that exact second every remaining member of Le' Napoleon Brigade pops up from on top of the hill above them. Gandalf gives the signal and they all open fire from above including a well-timed strafing run from Skyfire. Unworried; The Right Wing is completely prepared for a ranged attack as the Jedi's, Blackfire, & Mr. Freeze all put up defenses to guard their team. They are once again shocked as these defenses are uneeded. Every one of the shots from Penguin's umbrella machine gun, Gandalf's staff, John Mclaine's Beretta, Morpheus' twin Glocks, Sprout's harsh words, Skeletor's Crack Troop's lazer beams, Princess Leia's blaster bolts, & Skyfire's numerous forms of artillery missed the people down below. Now, Gen. Grant remembers what this battle has been reminding him of. Just like Napoleon did to the combined Russian and Austrian forces in 1805 at The Battle of Austerlitz over the Satschen frozen ponds the brigades shots were not being aimed at the soldiers but at the ice below them. The ice beneath their feet cracks apart due to their weight and the destruction done to it and The Right Wing falls into the sub-zero temperatured waters as John Mclaine yells "Yipee Kai Yai Motherf@#*^rs". To add a cosmic twist Alan Scott then puts a thick wall of green energy over the top of the water to ensure that nobody can get out. Only the Green Goblin who was in the air on his glider and Blackfire who was quick enough to fly away as the ice was destroyed under her feet are not trapped underneath the ice (Storm could not call the winds in fast enough to keep herself from eminent doom). The remainng Elite Storm Troopers, Snow Troopers, Army Soldiers, forces of Gondor, Jedi Knights, Gen. Grant, Duncan Idaho, Athena, & Storm all drown in the freezing cold waters. Poseiden (it's his home) & Mr. Freeze (because of his suit) are unaffected by the cold water but are still trapped under the thick wall of green energy. They escape via the icey depths of the water while Blackfire and Green Goblin retreat in the air.
LE' NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!
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