UNIVERSE BOWL
Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Crack Danks
Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Ahsoka Tano w/ White Lantern Ring, Captain Rex, Kingdom Come Superman, Genreal Zod, Ursa, Non, Set, Ranx: The Santient City, The Cloverfield Monster, Dormamu, Ronan the Accuser, Dick Grayson Batman w/ Green Lantern Ring, Earth 2 Batman, Earth 2 Catwoman, John Stewart w/ green and blue lantern rings, Indigo One and Monk, Ra's Al Ghul, Frodo Baggins, Galadriel, Aragorn son of Arathorn w/ green lantern ring, Poseidon, Kit Fisto, Jaws, Katara, Desna, Eska, Quicksilver, Plo Koon, Snape, The Mandalorian, Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Girl, The Thing, HERBIE, Zack Houslander: Young Jedi Knight, Dunadan Ranger Kyle Houslander, Joe Levine Jedi Master, Abby Jedi Youngling, Sandworm #1-5, Elf #6-10, Orc #35-38, & Stan Lee.
Crack Danks are Godzilla w/ red lantern ring, The Eradicator, The Witch King of Angmar, Juggernaut, Zeus, Blackbolt, Thunderstrike, Taskmaster, Balrog of Moria, Zeke and Julie, Pyramid Head, Voltron of the Mid Universe w/ Indigo lantern ring, Ares, The Planeteers, Nazgul #7 and his Fell Beast, Beast Boy, Zandar, Dorno, Tara, Gloop, Gleep, Zok, Igoo, Tundro, Feyd Rautha Harkonen, Mr. Hyde (Dr. Jekyl), Prometheus, Jaws 2, Jaws 3, Talleyhawk, Lt. Colonel Blue Brass, Steelheart, Rayzor, Steelwill, Stronghold, The Copper Kid, Mayday, Mandarin, Mole Man, Mr. Sinister, Goliath, Leonardo w/ blue lantern ring, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, Chuck Norris w/ Castlevania whip and beskar armor, & 5 Sand Trout.
Prelude to the Great Reset Part 3
This once great home to so many souls is merely a shell of what it once was. Floods, fire, brimstone, and devastation are all these formerly luscious lands now know making the battles that have raged on here seem like the play of children. One thing and one thing only is certain here and that is that regardless of the team who is victorious at the end of this contest, this place will be lost. The Universe as we know it will no longer exist in its present form and we will be forced to start anew. New rules, new guidelines, a new world. Reset to be exactly as those in power would have it.
Two carefully selected teams have been brought forth to do battle, chosen to potentially triumph in different geographical settings; but these settings no longer exist. Or perhaps one could say they all exist simultaneously as every possible weather catastrophe attacks what is left of the landscape.
Both squads attempt to form up and put together a plan of attack, but in both cases only about sixty percent of the team is able to participate in any planning and a good number of them are simply dealing with their own trials and tribulations due to the plethora of disasters happening around them.
The Red Lantern Fueled Godzilla emerges from the depths of the flood ready to take control of this new world; but with a flair of showmanship Kingdom Come Superman rockets on to the scene blasting directly through the massive dinosaur and out the back of his chest as if to prove that size will not be the determining factor in who will control this brave new world. The Eradicator, after first making short work of The Fantastic Four's strongest member The Thing, will not to be outdone and decides in a similar show of raw power to dive into the water faster than the speed of sound. From there, he emerges with the shark known as Jaws, holding the massive Great White by the dorsal fin with one hand. He then launches the shark into the devastated desert where it dies shortly thereafter. But The Eradicator does not have an opportunity to enjoy his success the same way Superman did, for he is surrounded by the true Kryptonian force of General Zod, Ursa, and Non who are able to overpower him and eventually rip him apart limb from limb.
The Cloverfield Monster bites the Pyramid Head off of Pyramid Head; but is then, despite the massive size advantage knocked to the ground and stomped over by the unstoppable Juggernaut.
The Sandworms and Sand Trout are unable to sustain life in this cataclysmic flood world and go the way of the dodo, the same happens to Ranx the Sentient City as this bit of Ragnarok is specifically designed to destroy any place of dwelling, putting quite a hurting on the AAA Team; but the Crack Danks squad is not devoid of loss outside the realm of battle either. Black Bolt got so bored after reading one of his own comics that he passed out and starting talking in his sleep bringing a mountain down around him. The Planeteers on the other hand were attempting to reinvent themselves for a modern world. You see, they were considered very woke before woke was a even a thing, but they realized that if they came out nowadays that they should all be trannies. So they all stopped being cis males and cis females and changed their gender. They naturally all comitted suicide shortly thereafter, causing Capt. Planet to die with them. After this, Zeus and his brother Poseidon met with each other, embraced one last time and decided to go out together on their own terms rather than battle it out. They choose to no longer exist in this realm in an attempt to usher in the next.
As I witness the enormous catastrophe unfold before my Watcher eyes, I come to the realization that I cannot quite verbalize this story into something overly fantastic. The third and final part of this story may not be anything less than anti-climatic (yes, this is the third part of this story, if you have not read the previous two parts you may wish to consider it). Perhaps the destruction of something beautiful is always anti-climatic though. Perhaps it can be no other way; so despite the importance of this match, please forgive me if I race through the minutiae and bring us to the anti-climatic climax of this calamity of climate catastrophe.
Taskmaster is able to dispatch all five elves before being consumed in magical fire by Dormamu, who along with Ronan are shown what true evil and magical fire is made of by The Balrog of Moria. The Witch King and his fellow Nagul join forces with their brethren of Morgoth the Balrog and make short work of Katara, Eska, and Desna before the trio of true evil are consumed by the massive Set who also destroys both Jaws sharks, Prometheus, and The Mandarin by consuming them with fire. Set becomes visibily sick from the pure evil he has ingested and begins to falter, the massie seven headed serpent is finished off by the combined powers of Thunderstrike and Ares. Zeke and Julie cunningly kill HERBIE the Robot and Invisible Girl, but they are avenged by Mr. Fantastic, who soon meets his end at the hands of The Silverhawks. Captain Rex risks his life and loses it to save Ahsoka from the attacks of the Herculoids and is stomped to death by Tundro. Ahsoka joins forces with The Mandalorian, Kyle, and Zack to battle the rest of The Herculoids Tundro is killed by Ahsoka, who then takes out Zok the electric dragon as well, while Kyle and Zack manage to take out Zandar, Dorno, Tara, and even the stone ape Igoo, not noticing that Mando has been choked out by Gloop and Gleep despite his beskar to protect him. Kyle and Zack rush into help, but are taken out by the rampaging Juggernaut who carelessly kills his own partners Gloop and Gleep in his unstoppable act of carnage. While this all was happening, The Ninja Turtles took out the four orcs as well as Catwoman with mid level difficulty.
Feyd-Rautha's blade shatters and cracks as he catches Quicksilver in the chest mid-run, but is then dispatched by the lightsaber of Plo Koon, while Chuck Norris is engaged in a massively entertaining pitched battle with Superman (last ever shoutout Becks). Batman (E2) is then caught in the face with a random bullet from a Play-Off Planet Citizen looter and killed because he is just a regular guy (first ever shoutout Fizz). Kit Fisto runs through Beast Boy with his water-proof lightsaber, but the Jedi is then dispatched by the combined forces of the Ninja Turtles, he manages to only take out Michelangelo before he meets his demise.
John Stewart unleashes the full power of his green lantern ring on the Marage being piloted by Colonel Bluegrass, taking out not only the ship but all of the Silverhawks and their birds along with it. Snape hits Donatello with a killer spell before being stepped on by Goliath, all while Mole Man is dying of diabeetus. Goliath also trounces the Dick Grayson version of Batman before Stan Lee simply snaps his finger and uncreates the character he created causing Goliath to instantly disapear. Stan Lee then sadly dies of Aids having proudly won his contest against Mick Jagger. Plo Koon and the power diminished John Stewart finish off the two remaining heroes in a half shell along with Mr. Hyde but are then vaporized by Voltron who is joined by Ares, Juggernaut, and Thunderstrike to do battle with the mighty General Zod and his Kryptonin companions Ursa and Non. The father-daughter Jedi duo of Joe and Abby rush to give support to their Kryptonian Teammates as the battle begins to rage.
As this brutal skirmish carries on for quite some time, Zod manages to blast Thunderstrike with an intense amount of heat vision while he tackles and kills The Juggernaut mid-stride with the help of Ursa. Zod is greatly damaged and fatigued by the battle, while Ursa fails to live through it. Ares manages to finish Zod; but the god of War is cut down by Joe who finds the kink in his armor and perfectly places his lightsaber into it. Voltron then forms up in combined form making his sword appear out of thin air and aims his devastating power towards Joe, Abby, and the final Negative Zone Kryptonian Non. Joe Force pushes Abby aside to safety just before the massive laser blast hits both him and Non to take them both out. Abby regroups and is joined by her only remaining teammates, their brave Commander and planner Ahsoka, and Superman who after hours of fighting has managed to finally best the great Chuck Norris.
Voltron stands ready at full power to finish off the battle and take the final Universe Bowl of the current FFL Universe; but Ahsoka's crew are not giving up yet. Ahsoka and Abby both wielding two lightsabers force leap onto the shoulders of Voltron in an attempt to disable the preemptive defense mechanism on the massive robot to make the invulnerable machine vulnrable if only for a brief second. Abby, placing her father's lightsaber in her dominant hand and her own in the other, along with Ahsoka distract the enormous Voltron with hacks and slashes from their Jedi swords. Only for a second is Voltron's attention focused on the two small young women on his back, one second long enough for Superman to rocket through the chest of the Robot and burst it to pieces.
Kal El, Tano, and Abby Levine regroup in the tattered rubble of what is left of the battlefield, when Ahsoka asks: "What do we do with an entire Universe that has been torn apart"??
Superman responds: "I don't know, are we now the gods of what is left of this place?? I know not what to do with a world, a league, and a very existence destroyed".....
Abby replies confidently: "I know. We build another one".
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