Team Fred is Cyclops (designated leader), Jean Grey, Ice Man, Beast, Angel, Super Skrull, Enchantress, Master Mold, Compsagnathid #1-51, Absorbing Man, Mimic, Vision, Ultron, & Mothra.
Team Goofjuice is Brock Sampson (designated leader), Sandworm #1-12, The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers (Jason, Zack, Billy, Kimberly, & Trini), Rancor #1, The Capt. Planet Crew, Mecha Godzilla, Ewok #1 & 2, & Dorf.
Four of the enormous Sandworms instantly come crashing out of the sand launching themselves thousands of feet into the air. They come crashing down with their mammoth mouths open over top of Team Fred killing 36 Compys, Absorbing Man, Ice Man, Beast, and Ultron. The extremely territorial beasts, that have not yet totally defined their new territories turn on the smallest of the worms which is #3 and kill it. They then return to the sands to defend their own territory. Everyone on Team Fred with flight capability takes to the air after seeing these incredible creatures and what they can do. In seeing Mothra as a huge threat Jason the Red Ranger says "its time for the Dinozords" they say "Mastadon", "Pterydactyl", "Triceratops", "Sabertooth Tiger"(in an Asian Accent), "Tyrannosaurs" (said boldly). Mothra has already begun fighting Mecha Godzilla and has been coming out on top. Mothra flies at Mecha Godzilla, knocking the giant robot to the ground. The Tyrannosaurus Zord runs at Mothra but cannot seem to hurt the giant moth. Kimberly flies in, in her zord but it is also not strong enough to hurt it. Jason realizes that they cannot do it on their own and orders the formation of the Megazord. Mothra takes a hit from the giant sword but keeps on coming. Jason realizes that they need something even better and says in an overly dramatic voice that only an 11 year old can truly appreciate: "Team; we need a bigger swatter if we're going to squash this bug; its time to form the MegaGodzillaZord". The Megazord and Mecha Godzilla then form togeather which causes Mothra to do absolutely nothing except look not to bright as the MegaGodzillaZord moves his hands around wildly creating a huge animated M,G, & Z that rapidly fly at Mothra blowing it to pieces. Rancor #1 runs over to the compys and begins snacking while The Capt. Planet hippies yell "earth", "wind", "water", "fire", "heart". With their powers combined they form Capt. Planet. Capt. Planet flies into the air and targets Master Mold. He is enraged that a society would waste so many raw materials just to create a robot of mass destruction such as this (if Al Gore were here than we would no longer be playing in the dessert after all his tears hit the ground). Capt. Planet is by no means Master Mold's hero, but he does bring his life force down to zero when he punches out his huge eye and destroys his artificial brain. Capt. Planet, in mid-air mind you (Seinfeld reference) begins to fight Super Skrull. But Enchantress calls out to the Capt. Planet dork with the red hair who has the fire ring. He is pulled in by her beauty and comes to her instantly. Just when Capt. Planet is about to land a huge hit on Super Skrull the Capt. Planet brat hands the ring to Enchantress just like she instructed. She then throws the ring to Mimic who crushes it with his bear hands with Beast like strength (he has naturally taken on the powers of all 5 of the X-Men). Capt. Planet disapears. Enchantress then pulls an elegant looking knife out and stabs the Capt. Planet geek in the heart. Sandworm #7, who is an especially huge worm now comes crashing out of the sand. When it lands it takes out Enchantress, Cyclops, and the last 3 compys that had not yet been eaten by the Rancor. As far as its own team is concerned the worm also consumes Rancor #1, Brock Sampson, both of the ewoks, and Dorf. Vision from Team Fred became intangible just in the nick of time and avoided this fate. Jean Grey mind-blocks the remaining 4 Capt. Planet mongloids and their monkey, but Shai Halud is very attracted to her mind powers causing Sandworm #12 to pop out of the sand and grab Jean Grey out of mid-air. Super Skrull, who has now taken over leadership of Team Fred after the death of Cyclops decides that they are going to have to attempt to take on these Sandworms. He lands on the sand and begins pounding on the ground to attempt to bring one of the sandworms up to the surface. But the uneven pounding of his powerful arm made of orange rock drives the worms more crazy than he could have possibly imagined. After only a few minutes of pounding, not 1 but all 12 of the worms come crashing out of the sand from many different directions. With their true leadership dead, no end to this massacre in sight, and possibly a little feces in their pants Super Skrull, Mimic, Vision, and Angel fly as high and as far away from this place as possible and escape with their lives.
TEAM GOOFJUICE IS VICTORIOUS!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Better Than All of You
Beckerman's Backyardigan's are Austin (designated leader), Tyrone, Darth Vader, Sith Lord #3, Arc Trooper Captain, Arc Trooper Lieutenet #1 & 2, Arc Trooper Heavy Weapons Master, Arc Trooper #1-5, Warg Rider #1-6, Rider's Warg #1-6, Wolverine, Capt. Britain, Sentinal #3 & 4, Black Dragon #1-3, & Green Dragon #1-3.
Better Than All of You is Mephisto (designated leader), Rob Van Damm & Sabu, Rambo, Agent Smith, The Terminator (from T-1), The Terminator (from T-2), Terminator #1-6, Predator #1-6, Dozer #4, & Doc Holliday.
In the locker room right before this fight began Darth Vader, who is extremely pleased to have an apprentice for the first time in his life pulled Sith Lord #3 aside and told him that he believed that the dark side was very strong with him. He then allowed the dark side of the force speak to him and was told the name that he would give his new pupil. He told him that from this day forward he would be known as "Darth Yardigan". Mephisto, who believes that it is a little chilly out here in the dessert has ordered his team to "hang back and let them come to us". While Austin has come on to the battlefield yelling "Tear their team apart you maggots". The 6 Warg Riders come barreling out towards Mephisto's team at full speed but the 8 terminators are out front and they easily mow down most of them, only 2 get through and they are then ripped apart by the predators. Mephisto tells them to continue to hold their position as their plan is obviousely working. General Austin (or as they have been calling him the locker room "Capt Kangeroo") now orders orders a simultaneous air and land strike. The 6 dragons and 2 Sentinals fly in from all angles and The Arc Troopers begin to work the covert position that they gained for themselves as soon as the battle began. The Arc Trooper Capt. comes rolling in, firing his 2 pistols at the Terminators drawing their fire away from anywhere else and the heavy weapons master who is being well protected in his vantage point by his fellow troopers blasts Terminator #4 blowing him to pieces. The other troopers come rushing in blasting away at the terminators killing Terminator #2 & 3 but they manage to take out Arc Troopers #2, 4, & 5, as well as Arc Trooper Lt. #1. It begins to look as if the terminators are going to finish off the Arc Troopers once and for all when the Sentinals come flying in with their lazers and take out T-1 as well as Terminator #6. The Sentinals then fly away to regroup. After this time lapse the heavy weapons member of the Arc troopers has reloaded and now takes out T-2 with one well-placed blast. The dragons now swoop in for their attack. As Black Dragon #1, who is leading the dragon attack first opens his mouth to spew acid onto his opponents Doc Holliday with one well placed shot from his .45 Long Colt puts a bullet right in the back of its throat killing the mighty dragon. This gives him an extremely proud couple of seconds before Black Dragon #2 snatches him off the ground and bites him in half. The 3 Green Dragons come flying in blasting poison wherever they can. They take out Predators # 2 & 4 while the Black Dragons acid blasts take out #6. As they get a little closer the Predators fight back, they jump on the backs of Green Dragons #1 & 2 and Black Dragon #3. They fight fiercely while they think about how they must learn what planet such creatures come from so they can begin hunting this more than worthy opponent. All 3 of them manage to slice away at the necks of the dragons they are on killing them. But only Predator #1 manages to repeat the trick on the back of Green Dragon #3 when the dragons come back down for their next attack run. Predator #3 & 5 die when they get nailed by the acid and poison sprays of the dragons. The Sentinals come down for another attack when Rambo begins firing his M-60 at them. The Sentinals land and start taking aim at the Terminators, who they believe are the biggest threat, when Rambo runs and jumps onto the back of Sentinal # 1. He runs up the back of the giant robot and then begins firing 7.62 x .39 caliber bullets into the back of the Sentinal until it collapses. Sentinal #2, who has just killed Terminator #1 turns to Rambo to face the threat but then Predator #1 & Terminator #5 jump onto the Sentinal and tear it apart. Austin now gives the attack orders for the rest of his squad and Mephisto does the same. Capt. Britain flies in to do battle with Mephisto. Capt. Britain gets in the first hit as he punches Mephisto knocking him backward. But Mephisto comments that he has been to Britain and that he did not appreciate the cold damp weather. "The Dessert" he says is much more like his home "in Hell" he then engulfs Capt. Britain in a sea of fire scorching him until there is nothing left. Tyrone does his part and stomps on Dozer #4. Rob and Sabu both hit Wolverine with steel chairs which knocks him to the ground. Sabu then hands his ice pick to Rob while he puts some barb wire around the neck of Wolverine. While he is strangling him with the barb wire Rob sticks the ice pick in Wolverine's side. Wolverine falls to the ground and the tag team partners high 5 as they think they have just gotten their first Fantasy Fantasy kill but then Wolverine pops back up and sticks his claws into the face of Rob Van Damm. Sabu then hits Wolvie on the head with his steel chair but all he hears is a clang as it hits his adamantium skull. Wolverine starts waving his finger back in forth in Sabu's face and Sabu begins to back up and wave his hands in the air mouthing the words "No......no". Then Wolverine spins his finger in the air making a little circle. He picks up the much bigger Sabu and body slams him. He then sticks his claws into the wrestler's chest. The crowd goes wild. Predator #1 gets a hold of Arc Trooper Lt. #2 and snaps his neck but the remaining arc troopers then blow him away. Agent Smith attacks the Sith Lords. He jumps in between them and kicks them away from each other. Vader says "follow my lead" to his apprentice and begins the attack but Agent Smith manages to dodge every swing of Vader's saber. Darth Yardigan comes in swinging but has no luck hitting anything either. Smith then jumps backward pulls out his 2 pistols and unloads 2 full clips toward Lord Yardigan. Only one bullet gets past the Sith Lord but that is all it takes to kill him as the bullet goes right between his eyes. Agent Smith then picks up the crimson lightsaber that Darth Yardigan dropped and turns it on. He smiles and says "I believe I could get to like this sort of weapon Mr. Skywalker". The well hidden heavy weapons master of the Arc trooper squad fires off one final round from his huge lazer gun that blows Terminator #5 to pieces. Rambo turns his gun on the last remaining Blck Dragon and unloads his entire bandelier into the air but the dragon still keeps coming. Right when Rambo is out of ammo and it is looking extremely grim he pulls out his bow and arrow and puts an arrow right in the left eye of Black Dragon #2 just before the dragon could spray him with acid. Rambo yells something that doesn't sound like English but it is cut short as Wolverine stabs him in the face with his claws. Agent Smith, as he is spinning his new red-bladed toy says "well Mr. Skywalker would you like to........ play" Vader runs at him with a full Sith Rage swinging his lightsaber violently at his opponent. Smith begins to say "Well Mr. Sky........" as he jumps into the air doing a backflip, but he has a sense of disapointment on his face when he looks down at his chest to see that there is a red lazer sticking out of it; this is when the Dark Lord of the Sith says calmly "my name is Vader". With Austin leading, Tyrone, Vader, the remaining Arc Troopers, and Wolverine all start creeping toward Mephisto. Mephisto has his chance to escape but he remains there to fight for 2 reasons. He for 1 believes no person can destroy him but also his head coach Cobra Commander has made it very clear in the locker room that he has no place for fighters who retreat from a battle. Under Austin's orders the Arc Troopers open fire and Vader uses the force to attempt to slow down Mephisto. None of this works all that great but the point of these excercises was not to kill Mephisto, it was just to slow him down long enough so Wolverine could sneak up and stab him in the neck, which is exactly what he does.
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN: BEEYATCHES IS VICTORIOUS!
Better Than All of You is Mephisto (designated leader), Rob Van Damm & Sabu, Rambo, Agent Smith, The Terminator (from T-1), The Terminator (from T-2), Terminator #1-6, Predator #1-6, Dozer #4, & Doc Holliday.
In the locker room right before this fight began Darth Vader, who is extremely pleased to have an apprentice for the first time in his life pulled Sith Lord #3 aside and told him that he believed that the dark side was very strong with him. He then allowed the dark side of the force speak to him and was told the name that he would give his new pupil. He told him that from this day forward he would be known as "Darth Yardigan". Mephisto, who believes that it is a little chilly out here in the dessert has ordered his team to "hang back and let them come to us". While Austin has come on to the battlefield yelling "Tear their team apart you maggots". The 6 Warg Riders come barreling out towards Mephisto's team at full speed but the 8 terminators are out front and they easily mow down most of them, only 2 get through and they are then ripped apart by the predators. Mephisto tells them to continue to hold their position as their plan is obviousely working. General Austin (or as they have been calling him the locker room "Capt Kangeroo") now orders orders a simultaneous air and land strike. The 6 dragons and 2 Sentinals fly in from all angles and The Arc Troopers begin to work the covert position that they gained for themselves as soon as the battle began. The Arc Trooper Capt. comes rolling in, firing his 2 pistols at the Terminators drawing their fire away from anywhere else and the heavy weapons master who is being well protected in his vantage point by his fellow troopers blasts Terminator #4 blowing him to pieces. The other troopers come rushing in blasting away at the terminators killing Terminator #2 & 3 but they manage to take out Arc Troopers #2, 4, & 5, as well as Arc Trooper Lt. #1. It begins to look as if the terminators are going to finish off the Arc Troopers once and for all when the Sentinals come flying in with their lazers and take out T-1 as well as Terminator #6. The Sentinals then fly away to regroup. After this time lapse the heavy weapons member of the Arc troopers has reloaded and now takes out T-2 with one well-placed blast. The dragons now swoop in for their attack. As Black Dragon #1, who is leading the dragon attack first opens his mouth to spew acid onto his opponents Doc Holliday with one well placed shot from his .45 Long Colt puts a bullet right in the back of its throat killing the mighty dragon. This gives him an extremely proud couple of seconds before Black Dragon #2 snatches him off the ground and bites him in half. The 3 Green Dragons come flying in blasting poison wherever they can. They take out Predators # 2 & 4 while the Black Dragons acid blasts take out #6. As they get a little closer the Predators fight back, they jump on the backs of Green Dragons #1 & 2 and Black Dragon #3. They fight fiercely while they think about how they must learn what planet such creatures come from so they can begin hunting this more than worthy opponent. All 3 of them manage to slice away at the necks of the dragons they are on killing them. But only Predator #1 manages to repeat the trick on the back of Green Dragon #3 when the dragons come back down for their next attack run. Predator #3 & 5 die when they get nailed by the acid and poison sprays of the dragons. The Sentinals come down for another attack when Rambo begins firing his M-60 at them. The Sentinals land and start taking aim at the Terminators, who they believe are the biggest threat, when Rambo runs and jumps onto the back of Sentinal # 1. He runs up the back of the giant robot and then begins firing 7.62 x .39 caliber bullets into the back of the Sentinal until it collapses. Sentinal #2, who has just killed Terminator #1 turns to Rambo to face the threat but then Predator #1 & Terminator #5 jump onto the Sentinal and tear it apart. Austin now gives the attack orders for the rest of his squad and Mephisto does the same. Capt. Britain flies in to do battle with Mephisto. Capt. Britain gets in the first hit as he punches Mephisto knocking him backward. But Mephisto comments that he has been to Britain and that he did not appreciate the cold damp weather. "The Dessert" he says is much more like his home "in Hell" he then engulfs Capt. Britain in a sea of fire scorching him until there is nothing left. Tyrone does his part and stomps on Dozer #4. Rob and Sabu both hit Wolverine with steel chairs which knocks him to the ground. Sabu then hands his ice pick to Rob while he puts some barb wire around the neck of Wolverine. While he is strangling him with the barb wire Rob sticks the ice pick in Wolverine's side. Wolverine falls to the ground and the tag team partners high 5 as they think they have just gotten their first Fantasy Fantasy kill but then Wolverine pops back up and sticks his claws into the face of Rob Van Damm. Sabu then hits Wolvie on the head with his steel chair but all he hears is a clang as it hits his adamantium skull. Wolverine starts waving his finger back in forth in Sabu's face and Sabu begins to back up and wave his hands in the air mouthing the words "No......no". Then Wolverine spins his finger in the air making a little circle. He picks up the much bigger Sabu and body slams him. He then sticks his claws into the wrestler's chest. The crowd goes wild. Predator #1 gets a hold of Arc Trooper Lt. #2 and snaps his neck but the remaining arc troopers then blow him away. Agent Smith attacks the Sith Lords. He jumps in between them and kicks them away from each other. Vader says "follow my lead" to his apprentice and begins the attack but Agent Smith manages to dodge every swing of Vader's saber. Darth Yardigan comes in swinging but has no luck hitting anything either. Smith then jumps backward pulls out his 2 pistols and unloads 2 full clips toward Lord Yardigan. Only one bullet gets past the Sith Lord but that is all it takes to kill him as the bullet goes right between his eyes. Agent Smith then picks up the crimson lightsaber that Darth Yardigan dropped and turns it on. He smiles and says "I believe I could get to like this sort of weapon Mr. Skywalker". The well hidden heavy weapons master of the Arc trooper squad fires off one final round from his huge lazer gun that blows Terminator #5 to pieces. Rambo turns his gun on the last remaining Blck Dragon and unloads his entire bandelier into the air but the dragon still keeps coming. Right when Rambo is out of ammo and it is looking extremely grim he pulls out his bow and arrow and puts an arrow right in the left eye of Black Dragon #2 just before the dragon could spray him with acid. Rambo yells something that doesn't sound like English but it is cut short as Wolverine stabs him in the face with his claws. Agent Smith, as he is spinning his new red-bladed toy says "well Mr. Skywalker would you like to........ play" Vader runs at him with a full Sith Rage swinging his lightsaber violently at his opponent. Smith begins to say "Well Mr. Sky........" as he jumps into the air doing a backflip, but he has a sense of disapointment on his face when he looks down at his chest to see that there is a red lazer sticking out of it; this is when the Dark Lord of the Sith says calmly "my name is Vader". With Austin leading, Tyrone, Vader, the remaining Arc Troopers, and Wolverine all start creeping toward Mephisto. Mephisto has his chance to escape but he remains there to fight for 2 reasons. He for 1 believes no person can destroy him but also his head coach Cobra Commander has made it very clear in the locker room that he has no place for fighters who retreat from a battle. Under Austin's orders the Arc Troopers open fire and Vader uses the force to attempt to slow down Mephisto. None of this works all that great but the point of these excercises was not to kill Mephisto, it was just to slow him down long enough so Wolverine could sneak up and stab him in the neck, which is exactly what he does.
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN: BEEYATCHES IS VICTORIOUS!
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Charleton Heston (designated leader), Darkseid, Taskmaster, Achilles, Fremen #31-42, Supergirl, Havok, Polaris, Gozar: the Gozarian, Parasite, Sinestro, Scarlet Witch, Shazam, & Sabertooth.
Hannah Montana.... are Albus Dumbledore (designated leader), The Cloverfield Monster, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Qui Gonn Jinn, Bizarro Superman, Willow Rosenburg, Juda Ben Hur, Bronze Dragon #1-6, Jack Crowe, General Grevious, Spider Man, Harry Potter, Buffy Summers, Venus & Serena Williams, Hannah Montana, & Jar Jar Binks.
Dumbledor, who gave a scathing speach back in the locker room that included comments such as "It shouldn't be God bless the Horsemen of Apokolips it is God Damn the Horsemen" recieved a full endorsement from head coach Barack Obama who was very impressed with this kind of retoric and gave Dumbledor the nod to be designated leader. Despite how much this caused Hannah Montana to be upset causing her to release what has come to be called "The pink cell phone ad" which question who they want answering the calls and making the big decisions in the locker room. Despite all this controversy Hannah and Barack both contend that they are the best of friends and that they would both be much better head coaches or designated leaders than Charleton Heston or Vandal Savage. Oh yeah; I almost forgot about the battle. As soon as we start Supergirl and Bizarro instantly go after each other. They take to the air and instantly start inflicting massive amounts of damage on each other but they also both have an amazing ability to take a hit and keep on fighting. Dumbledor has instructed his people to stay away from the Cloverfield Monster and just let it do its thing, which it does and begins releasing many little aliens all over the sand. The Fremen surround General Grevious as he pulls out 4 lightsabers and attacks. The general is very suprised to see how fast the Fremen can move in the sand. Even with the force attributes taught to him by Count Dooku, Grevious is having trouble keeping up with them. The Cyborg manages to kill Fremen # 33 & 42 by stabbing them in the chest and kills Fremen #41 with a swift metal kick to the head. Although 2 other Fremen jump on his back and begin breaking the metal head right off of the cyborg it is at this moment when he is trying to get them off that Fremen #31 stabs his crysknife into the beating heart of Grevious by reaching his now bloodied and bruised hand through the wires and circuits of the general's chest. This kills Grevious but the other Fremen who did not stab his heart feel compelled to cut off their own pinky fingers due to the fact that they pulled out their sacred crysknives without allowing them to taste blood. Parasite is going around to the smaller monsters that are being sent out by the much larger Cloverfield Monster and absorbing some of their strength. This enrages the larger monster causing him to step on Parasite putting his claw like feet into Parasite skewering him in many places. Scarlet Witch turns all of the smaller monsters into harmless stuffed animals but Willow turns them back into monsters. Scarlet Witch then turns them all to stone but Willow again turns them all back this time making them bigger and stronger then they were before. Jar Jar Binks thinks about how great it would be to be back at home playing with the bosses' Hey da blibber which causes Gozar: the Gozarian to create a giant Hey da blibber to come destroy the Hannah Montana crew. Dave Bowman stands in front of it and simply puts up his hand to redirect the huge contraption. It goes right back into Gozar crushing her in cosmic power. When Gozar dies the living Hey da blibber disapears. Heston who is armed with a full auto M-16, a Benelli pistol grip 12 gauge strapped to his back, 2 Colt 1911 A-1's in .45 acp, and an AMT back-up in .40 S&W in an ankle holster says "keep up the fight troops, I'm going after this good looking gentleman over there", as he points to Juda Ben Hur; but Achilles who was never much for following orders says "No, he's mine" Juda and Achilles are both armed with a sword and shield as they begin to walk over to each other (this would have been a great oppurtunity to have one hell of a chariot fight but niether one of these two team owners had the foresight to draft any horses so, oh well). As they near each other Achilles droops his shield on the ground causing Juda to say "Alas why would you disgard your defense when you approach a worthy opponent". Achilles, as he is doing a spin move where he gets to the back of Juda cutting off his left leg above the knee and then finishes by relieving Ben Hur of his head replies with "Because you are not a worthy opponent". Sinestro takes to the air to meet the 6 Bronze dragons. He begins flying around them at intense speeds and actually flies right thru one of them killing it. Darkseid goes after Qui Gonn by shooting him with several blasts of Omega Beams. Qui Gonn manages to block them with his lightsaber and tries to bring the fight in a little closer. Qui Gonn jumps in with a drop kick but it does not even budge the villain. He then goes for a head shot with his lightsaber but Darkseid dodges it and it barely nicks his shoulder. This still causes Darkseid to yell a little from the pain as he grabs a hold of Qui Gonn and snaps his neck. Taskmaster and Buffy begin to fight hand to hand. Buffy is amazed that every move she uses on Taskmaster he is able to instantly duplicate. Buffy manages to get a good kick in to his head but then he uses a move he learned from her that she had not even done yet. With a wooden stake that he had pulled out of her belt he trips her onto the ground and in one motion stabs it into her heart. The Williams sisters run up on Polaris. The sisters, who have no idea what crazy powers they are going to see next cringe when Polaris first puts up her hands. They are then very suprised when nothing happens to them whatsoever as they beat her to death with wooden tennis rackets. Havok sees this out of the corner of his eye and is heartbroken at the sight of what has happened to his wife but he is busy fighting Harry Potter who is rapidly flying around him on his broomstick evading the solar blasts Havok is shooting at him. Now in a state of full rage Havok lets out a scream and widens the spray making a huge blast that obliterates the broomstick and kills young Harry. Willow and Scarlet Witch are still going back and forth in their magical contest when Willow gets sick of holding back. Willow turns one of the monsters into a huge blade which she sends flying into the head of Scarlet Witch. Now overcome with her own power turns on Taskmaster and Fremen #40 making their own clothes strangle them to death. She then realizes that she has allowed the Cloverfield Monster to get to close to her even though it was the first thing Dumbledor warned them about; but at this point she no longer cares who is on her team and who isn't. In a state of pure rage she unleashes her full power destroying the huge monster as well as her fragile human body which was in no way made to handle such power. Sinestro Creates a huge flaming yellow sword which he wields in his battle with the dragons. He cuts the heads off of 2 of them and the wings off of 2 more causing them to plummet to the ground. The other one he catches in a huge net made out of yellow energy and swings the net over his head throwing it. It lands on top of Jack Crowe and kills both him and the last dragon. Bizarro and Supergirl have been battling for a very long time and are both exhausted. Bizarro has a little bit of an edge in both speed and strength but what Supergirl loses in those two areas she more than makes up for it in intelligence. Bizarro flies at her with all his remaining might but she gets out of the way and begins pushing him and flying toward a huge mass of rocks. Using his strength against him the 2 of them go crashing into the ground with her using him to cushion her fall. Bizarro dies. Darkseid and Sinestro are locked in a cosmic power struggle with the Starchild when Bowman puts the vision in both of their heads of what his perfect universe would be and how he needs to destroy them to make that happen. Darkseid & Sinestro who have both enjoyed decades of bleeding entire planets dry of their resources for their own benefit are nothing but offended by such blasphemy. They both turn their combined might on the Starchild and obliterate him. Dumbledor and Spider Man have been battling with Shazam and Sabertooth for quite a while when Spider Man trips up Sabertooth and then blasts him with webbing, restraining him. But Shazam blasts the mutant free and then throws Sabertoorh into Spider Man. Sabertooth sticks his nails into the neck of Spidey and kills him. Dumbledor is furious as whips up a spell that does something pretty similar. He waves his wand and throws Sabertooth into Shazam. His adamantium skeleton being more than hard enough to go right through Shazam. Although that is the only part of him that went through as the limp boneless mass of Sabertooth lay on the ground next to the body of Shazam. The Fremen pop up next to Serena and Venus and make very short work of them, they then go and join Heston, Darkseid, Achilles, Supergirl, Havok, and Sinestro who have Hannah Montana and Jar Jar surrounded. Achilles says "Shall we finish them" and Jar Jar of course says "My give up", but just then Dumbledor appears out of nowhere right next to the tween and the gungan. Jar Jar says "My still give up" and Hannah says "Do something Dumbledor" but Dumbledor says "there will be another time young Miley". He then claps his hands above his head and grabs both Jar Jar and Hannah Montana as a firey red Phoenix swoops in and carries the 3 of them to safety.
THE HORSMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Hannah Montana.... are Albus Dumbledore (designated leader), The Cloverfield Monster, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Qui Gonn Jinn, Bizarro Superman, Willow Rosenburg, Juda Ben Hur, Bronze Dragon #1-6, Jack Crowe, General Grevious, Spider Man, Harry Potter, Buffy Summers, Venus & Serena Williams, Hannah Montana, & Jar Jar Binks.
Dumbledor, who gave a scathing speach back in the locker room that included comments such as "It shouldn't be God bless the Horsemen of Apokolips it is God Damn the Horsemen" recieved a full endorsement from head coach Barack Obama who was very impressed with this kind of retoric and gave Dumbledor the nod to be designated leader. Despite how much this caused Hannah Montana to be upset causing her to release what has come to be called "The pink cell phone ad" which question who they want answering the calls and making the big decisions in the locker room. Despite all this controversy Hannah and Barack both contend that they are the best of friends and that they would both be much better head coaches or designated leaders than Charleton Heston or Vandal Savage. Oh yeah; I almost forgot about the battle. As soon as we start Supergirl and Bizarro instantly go after each other. They take to the air and instantly start inflicting massive amounts of damage on each other but they also both have an amazing ability to take a hit and keep on fighting. Dumbledor has instructed his people to stay away from the Cloverfield Monster and just let it do its thing, which it does and begins releasing many little aliens all over the sand. The Fremen surround General Grevious as he pulls out 4 lightsabers and attacks. The general is very suprised to see how fast the Fremen can move in the sand. Even with the force attributes taught to him by Count Dooku, Grevious is having trouble keeping up with them. The Cyborg manages to kill Fremen # 33 & 42 by stabbing them in the chest and kills Fremen #41 with a swift metal kick to the head. Although 2 other Fremen jump on his back and begin breaking the metal head right off of the cyborg it is at this moment when he is trying to get them off that Fremen #31 stabs his crysknife into the beating heart of Grevious by reaching his now bloodied and bruised hand through the wires and circuits of the general's chest. This kills Grevious but the other Fremen who did not stab his heart feel compelled to cut off their own pinky fingers due to the fact that they pulled out their sacred crysknives without allowing them to taste blood. Parasite is going around to the smaller monsters that are being sent out by the much larger Cloverfield Monster and absorbing some of their strength. This enrages the larger monster causing him to step on Parasite putting his claw like feet into Parasite skewering him in many places. Scarlet Witch turns all of the smaller monsters into harmless stuffed animals but Willow turns them back into monsters. Scarlet Witch then turns them all to stone but Willow again turns them all back this time making them bigger and stronger then they were before. Jar Jar Binks thinks about how great it would be to be back at home playing with the bosses' Hey da blibber which causes Gozar: the Gozarian to create a giant Hey da blibber to come destroy the Hannah Montana crew. Dave Bowman stands in front of it and simply puts up his hand to redirect the huge contraption. It goes right back into Gozar crushing her in cosmic power. When Gozar dies the living Hey da blibber disapears. Heston who is armed with a full auto M-16, a Benelli pistol grip 12 gauge strapped to his back, 2 Colt 1911 A-1's in .45 acp, and an AMT back-up in .40 S&W in an ankle holster says "keep up the fight troops, I'm going after this good looking gentleman over there", as he points to Juda Ben Hur; but Achilles who was never much for following orders says "No, he's mine" Juda and Achilles are both armed with a sword and shield as they begin to walk over to each other (this would have been a great oppurtunity to have one hell of a chariot fight but niether one of these two team owners had the foresight to draft any horses so, oh well). As they near each other Achilles droops his shield on the ground causing Juda to say "Alas why would you disgard your defense when you approach a worthy opponent". Achilles, as he is doing a spin move where he gets to the back of Juda cutting off his left leg above the knee and then finishes by relieving Ben Hur of his head replies with "Because you are not a worthy opponent". Sinestro takes to the air to meet the 6 Bronze dragons. He begins flying around them at intense speeds and actually flies right thru one of them killing it. Darkseid goes after Qui Gonn by shooting him with several blasts of Omega Beams. Qui Gonn manages to block them with his lightsaber and tries to bring the fight in a little closer. Qui Gonn jumps in with a drop kick but it does not even budge the villain. He then goes for a head shot with his lightsaber but Darkseid dodges it and it barely nicks his shoulder. This still causes Darkseid to yell a little from the pain as he grabs a hold of Qui Gonn and snaps his neck. Taskmaster and Buffy begin to fight hand to hand. Buffy is amazed that every move she uses on Taskmaster he is able to instantly duplicate. Buffy manages to get a good kick in to his head but then he uses a move he learned from her that she had not even done yet. With a wooden stake that he had pulled out of her belt he trips her onto the ground and in one motion stabs it into her heart. The Williams sisters run up on Polaris. The sisters, who have no idea what crazy powers they are going to see next cringe when Polaris first puts up her hands. They are then very suprised when nothing happens to them whatsoever as they beat her to death with wooden tennis rackets. Havok sees this out of the corner of his eye and is heartbroken at the sight of what has happened to his wife but he is busy fighting Harry Potter who is rapidly flying around him on his broomstick evading the solar blasts Havok is shooting at him. Now in a state of full rage Havok lets out a scream and widens the spray making a huge blast that obliterates the broomstick and kills young Harry. Willow and Scarlet Witch are still going back and forth in their magical contest when Willow gets sick of holding back. Willow turns one of the monsters into a huge blade which she sends flying into the head of Scarlet Witch. Now overcome with her own power turns on Taskmaster and Fremen #40 making their own clothes strangle them to death. She then realizes that she has allowed the Cloverfield Monster to get to close to her even though it was the first thing Dumbledor warned them about; but at this point she no longer cares who is on her team and who isn't. In a state of pure rage she unleashes her full power destroying the huge monster as well as her fragile human body which was in no way made to handle such power. Sinestro Creates a huge flaming yellow sword which he wields in his battle with the dragons. He cuts the heads off of 2 of them and the wings off of 2 more causing them to plummet to the ground. The other one he catches in a huge net made out of yellow energy and swings the net over his head throwing it. It lands on top of Jack Crowe and kills both him and the last dragon. Bizarro and Supergirl have been battling for a very long time and are both exhausted. Bizarro has a little bit of an edge in both speed and strength but what Supergirl loses in those two areas she more than makes up for it in intelligence. Bizarro flies at her with all his remaining might but she gets out of the way and begins pushing him and flying toward a huge mass of rocks. Using his strength against him the 2 of them go crashing into the ground with her using him to cushion her fall. Bizarro dies. Darkseid and Sinestro are locked in a cosmic power struggle with the Starchild when Bowman puts the vision in both of their heads of what his perfect universe would be and how he needs to destroy them to make that happen. Darkseid & Sinestro who have both enjoyed decades of bleeding entire planets dry of their resources for their own benefit are nothing but offended by such blasphemy. They both turn their combined might on the Starchild and obliterate him. Dumbledor and Spider Man have been battling with Shazam and Sabertooth for quite a while when Spider Man trips up Sabertooth and then blasts him with webbing, restraining him. But Shazam blasts the mutant free and then throws Sabertoorh into Spider Man. Sabertooth sticks his nails into the neck of Spidey and kills him. Dumbledor is furious as whips up a spell that does something pretty similar. He waves his wand and throws Sabertooth into Shazam. His adamantium skeleton being more than hard enough to go right through Shazam. Although that is the only part of him that went through as the limp boneless mass of Sabertooth lay on the ground next to the body of Shazam. The Fremen pop up next to Serena and Venus and make very short work of them, they then go and join Heston, Darkseid, Achilles, Supergirl, Havok, and Sinestro who have Hannah Montana and Jar Jar surrounded. Achilles says "Shall we finish them" and Jar Jar of course says "My give up", but just then Dumbledor appears out of nowhere right next to the tween and the gungan. Jar Jar says "My still give up" and Hannah says "Do something Dumbledor" but Dumbledor says "there will be another time young Miley". He then claps his hands above his head and grabs both Jar Jar and Hannah Montana as a firey red Phoenix swoops in and carries the 3 of them to safety.
THE HORSMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
A DEBATE!!
The four of us are sitting around, drinking... a lot. So we decided to hold a little debate on this week's match-ups. Enjoy.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
This Week...
Week 3: Desert
Points: 600
Interleague Play: American League rules.
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Horsemen of Apokolips
The Right Wing Vs. Reign Supremacy
Better Than All of You Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyaatches
Team Goof Juice Vs. Team Fred
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Alice's Wonder-Team
Le' Napoleon's Brigade Vs. The Untouchables
Team Shaun Vs. Team Ed
Legion of Doom Vs. The Outsiders
Points: 600
Interleague Play: American League rules.
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Horsemen of Apokolips
The Right Wing Vs. Reign Supremacy
Better Than All of You Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyaatches
Team Goof Juice Vs. Team Fred
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Alice's Wonder-Team
Le' Napoleon's Brigade Vs. The Untouchables
Team Shaun Vs. Team Ed
Legion of Doom Vs. The Outsiders
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Reign Supremacy
The Horsemen of Apokolips is Larry Reamer (designated foreman), Sinestro, Dark Jedi Master #1-9, Polaris, Super Girl, Navy Seal #1-4, & Navy Sailor #100.
Reign Supremacy is Sebastian the Crab (designated lobster), Iron Man, Mega Man & Rush, Mario & Luigie, Naboo Soldier #1, & Jedi Knight #36-49.
Larry Reamer, the foreman so good he's really a fiveman leads his team of Sinestro, Polaris, Supergirl, Dark Jedi, and seamen against Head Lobster, Sebastian the Crab and his team of Iron Man, Mega Man & Rush, Mario & Luigi, Naboo Soldier #1 and some Jedi Knights. Polaris uses her powers of magnetism to freeze Iron Man, Mega Man and Rush. Supergirl flys in for the kill but is blasted aside by a fireball from Mario. The nine Dark Jedi Masters battle the thirteen Jedi Knights. Lightsabers flash everywhere. Larry, the four Navy Seals and Navy Sailor #100 use a rubber raft to sneak up on Sebastian and crack open his shell. His remains drift "Under the Sea." Mario and Luigi throw a few fireballs at the seamen killing two Seals and the Sailor. The Navy Seals open fire killing Luigi. The raft catches fire and Larry and the two remaining Seals bail out. The Naboo Soldier, who had been until recently lying low, shoots and wounds Polaris. This frees Iron Man and Mega Man. They leap into the fray Iron Man engages Supergirl in hand to hand while Mega Man fires at Sinestro. Sinestro blocks the blasts with his yellow power ring. Mario leaps from the water throwing fireballs at the wounded Polaris killing her. Mega Man, flying on his robotic dog, Rush, is hit by a RPG from the Navy Seals and thrown into the water. Rush transforms into Rush-Sub saving Mega Man from the water but not from Sinestro. He blasts Mega Man and Rush into atoms. In the meantime, the epic lightsaber battle was decided, you should've seen it; only one Dark Jedi Master survived. Larry swims up on the Naboo Soldier and strangles him. Supergirl manages to overpower Iron Man and twist his helmet around, snapping Tony Stark's neck. Sinestro uses his power ring to turn Mario into little Mario. Then he tears Mario apart.
Winner: The Horsemen of Apokolips
Reign Supremacy is Sebastian the Crab (designated lobster), Iron Man, Mega Man & Rush, Mario & Luigie, Naboo Soldier #1, & Jedi Knight #36-49.
Larry Reamer, the foreman so good he's really a fiveman leads his team of Sinestro, Polaris, Supergirl, Dark Jedi, and seamen against Head Lobster, Sebastian the Crab and his team of Iron Man, Mega Man & Rush, Mario & Luigi, Naboo Soldier #1 and some Jedi Knights. Polaris uses her powers of magnetism to freeze Iron Man, Mega Man and Rush. Supergirl flys in for the kill but is blasted aside by a fireball from Mario. The nine Dark Jedi Masters battle the thirteen Jedi Knights. Lightsabers flash everywhere. Larry, the four Navy Seals and Navy Sailor #100 use a rubber raft to sneak up on Sebastian and crack open his shell. His remains drift "Under the Sea." Mario and Luigi throw a few fireballs at the seamen killing two Seals and the Sailor. The Navy Seals open fire killing Luigi. The raft catches fire and Larry and the two remaining Seals bail out. The Naboo Soldier, who had been until recently lying low, shoots and wounds Polaris. This frees Iron Man and Mega Man. They leap into the fray Iron Man engages Supergirl in hand to hand while Mega Man fires at Sinestro. Sinestro blocks the blasts with his yellow power ring. Mario leaps from the water throwing fireballs at the wounded Polaris killing her. Mega Man, flying on his robotic dog, Rush, is hit by a RPG from the Navy Seals and thrown into the water. Rush transforms into Rush-Sub saving Mega Man from the water but not from Sinestro. He blasts Mega Man and Rush into atoms. In the meantime, the epic lightsaber battle was decided, you should've seen it; only one Dark Jedi Master survived. Larry swims up on the Naboo Soldier and strangles him. Supergirl manages to overpower Iron Man and twist his helmet around, snapping Tony Stark's neck. Sinestro uses his power ring to turn Mario into little Mario. Then he tears Mario apart.
Winner: The Horsemen of Apokolips
Team Ed Vs. Team Pete
Team Ed is Superman (designated leader), Blitzwing, Sharkticon #47-50, Godzilla, Phibian #1-9, Emerald Weapon, Eugene Crabs, Jack Lalane, & Griffin Poteracki.
Team Pete is Carlos Olivera (designated leader) & Sharkticon #11-28
In possibly the most one sided battle ever, Godzilla and Emerald Weapon disintegrate Carlos Olivera and the Sharkticons while Mr. Crabs sells tickets to a swim off between Griffin Poteracki and Jack Lalane.
Winner: Team Ed
Team Pete is Carlos Olivera (designated leader) & Sharkticon #11-28
In possibly the most one sided battle ever, Godzilla and Emerald Weapon disintegrate Carlos Olivera and the Sharkticons while Mr. Crabs sells tickets to a swim off between Griffin Poteracki and Jack Lalane.
Winner: Team Ed
Team Goofjuice Vs. Team Griffin
Team Goofjuice is Hydroman, Howard the Duck, Kyle Rayner, Guy Gardner, G'Nort, The Capt. Planet kids w/ Heart's monkey, U.S. Marine #1-25, & Ron Popeil.
Team Griffin is The Kracken, Queen Xenomorph #1, Spawn, Vigo the Carpathian, The Eradicator, Apocylypse, Weapon Omega, Col. John Madrix, Harry Tasker, Albert Gibson, Gladiator, Darth Bain, & Atreides Soldier #11.
Both teams are dropped into the water. The 5 bratty tree-huggers yell "Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, Heart". And with their powers combined they form Capt. Planet. Ron Popeil pulls out 1 of 20 rafts that he brought that instantly air themselves up with the simple touch of a button. He then offers the other 19 up for anyone on either team for 3 easy payment of $8.92; yes that's right only $8.92. But the marines say "who's team are you on A-Hole and they take the rafts and begin to use them. Capt. Planet takes to the air knowing that he is their hero, and with every intention of taking pollution down to zero but The Eradicator flies up to meet him and after two very well placed punches fries him with his heat vision. From down in the water Col. Madrix and Harry Tasker both say simultaneousely "Now that's what I call global warming". When Capt. Planet dies, the rings on the fingers of the kids blow up. Vigo the Carpathian, who has been vigorousely struggling to stay above water with all of his medieval clothing and armor can not stay a float and drowns. The 6 marines who were not lucky enough to get a Popeil raft swim over to fight what they view as a little old man with crustaceans all over his face. But Darth Bain who had the foresight to as of yet not allow his lightsaber to get to wet pops out the red crystal blade and throws it at the 6 marines. He then controls the lightsaber's direction with the force as it kills all 6 of the marines and then sinks 4 more of the Ronco raftsTM (including Ron's) before the lightsaber lands in the water and shorts itself out. Harry Tasker, Al Gibson, and Col. Madrix all start vigorousely swimming toward the marines in order to attack them and perhaps take their rafts. The colonel, after seeing what Lord Bain just did tries to get him to join in their battle within a battle but Darth Bain acts like he cannot get over there (really because he does not wish to risk his life in this way for such foolish teammates). As they are swimming Albert Gibson cannot keep up, is overcome with fatigue and drowns before the battle can begin but Harry and John manage to each instantly climb aboard a raft and snap the necks of the marines that were controlling them. The two Ausrian born U.S. military officers begin directing their boats toward the remaining 14 marines. The marines, who think that they are crazy for trying to attack such a large group of trained men gladly start hand paddling up to meet them (Unfortunetely Ronco has not yet devised a portable paddle for the rafts). The Marines may have been right about how crazy they were but they do manage to each take out 5 marines in this hand to hand/boat to boat battle before they are eventually killed. Weapon Omega takes to the air in order to flank The Eradicator who has overly impressed his teammates with his abilities. The Eradicator noticed the Green Lantern rings on 3 of his opponents and knows exactly what they are capable of, so he is in the air patiently waiting for them to attack. The 3 Green Lantern's, led by Kyle Rayner no wait Guy Gardner no it's Kyle; no it's.... Well lets just say the two of them can't decide on who the leader should be; have opted to have their rings make scuba gear for themselves and stay in the water. Spawn, who does not need oxygen anyway has done a similar thing with his suit allowing him to swim freely and quickly throughout the water. The Kracken and the Queen Alien in a rare sense of fear have opted to stay far away from each other because although the instinct of both of them is to either destroy or control every creature around them, they feel some sense to leave each other alone (showing that they are possibly smart enough to know that they are fighting as a team unit). Apocylypse through strange shape-shifting has managed to stay above water thus far but he is an obvious fish out of water (or maybe it would be the opposite of that)? As Hydroman comes upon him, Apocylypse still has a total arrogance about him due to the fact that he is signifigantly more powerful than the super-villain who is approaching him; but in this instance environment seems to trump both expierence and power as Hydroman swirls around him using his own size and weight to send him sinking to the bottom of the sea. Howard the Duck swims over to Gladiator who is nowhere near as comfortable in the water as the talking duck. But when you have Gladiator's strength, you do not have to be that comfortable in the water to pull the bill off of a Duck and then crack its neck. So that is what Gladiator decides to do. Darth Bain, who has convinced both teams that he is to frail to be doing these things on his own convinces his teammates Gladiator to follow them and Atreides Soldier #11, who is a great swimmer having grown up on the watery planet of Caladan to carry him while swimming over to where the marines and the Capt. Planet kids are (who have climbed on top of the vacant Ronco RaftsTM). Hydroman, sees that they could be in trouble and swims over to help. Hydroman is confident that he can easily do away with these 3 enemies who seem to be having trouble even staying above water. Just then Gladiator does what Darth Bain has instructed him to do and throws him up onto the raft that "earth" is on. Lord Bain throws the kid off of the raft and then with a single wave of his hand force pushes the other kids and the marines all off of their rafts. Then the Dark Lord of the Sith shoots an amazingly powerful burst of Sith Lightning into the water below him which circulates throughout the immediate area killing The Capt. Planet kids, their monkey, the 4 remaining marines, Hydroman, and even his own teammates Gladiator and Atreides Soldier #11. Darth Bain himself is completely insulated from this attack by the Ronco RaftTM that he is standing in. The 3 Green Lanterns are about to triple team Spawn when the mighty Kracken decides that it is time for him to crash out of the water and come out of the murky depths from which he was dwelling. The giant monster (perhaps unknowingly) does this in such a way that he does not totally give up his water advantage, but by making the fight take place partially above the water, he will also recieve some help from Weapon Omega and The Eradicator. The 3 Green Lanterns take to the air and begin to circle the head of the huge mythical creature but it does not remain 3 green stripes in the sky for very long as The Kracken almost instantly swipes G'Nort out of the air and bites his furry head right off. This infuriates Guy Gardner causing him to say "No one is allowed to kill that annoying alien but me". Guy Gardner then starts blasting The Kracken with everything he has got which is causing obvious pain to the huge beast causing it to retreat back under the water. Guy Gardner follows it in to the water and Kyle Rayner attempts to follow him until he feels the firm grip of two hands on his shoulders. The Eradicator throws Rayner right back into the air and him and Weapon Omega start flying right after him. As Rayner regroups he shoots an extremely powerful blast that blows Weapon Omega apart, but this only gives The Eradicator an extra couple of seconds which is more than he needs to rip the green lantern limb from limb. The Kracken, who seems newly energized by spending a few moments back underneath the water pops back up to the surface and begins swiping at Guy Gardner who is flying around rapidly. Guy Gardner is way to fast for the now frustrated Kracken to be able to hit but The Eradicator hits him with one well placed blast of optic heat. This is not enough to severly hurt the very expierenced green lantern but it is enough to slow him down for a second while The Mighty Kracken grabs his flailing body out of the air and takes a healthy bite out of the flying hero.
TEAM GRIFFIN IS VICTORIOUS!
Team Griffin is The Kracken, Queen Xenomorph #1, Spawn, Vigo the Carpathian, The Eradicator, Apocylypse, Weapon Omega, Col. John Madrix, Harry Tasker, Albert Gibson, Gladiator, Darth Bain, & Atreides Soldier #11.
Both teams are dropped into the water. The 5 bratty tree-huggers yell "Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, Heart". And with their powers combined they form Capt. Planet. Ron Popeil pulls out 1 of 20 rafts that he brought that instantly air themselves up with the simple touch of a button. He then offers the other 19 up for anyone on either team for 3 easy payment of $8.92; yes that's right only $8.92. But the marines say "who's team are you on A-Hole and they take the rafts and begin to use them. Capt. Planet takes to the air knowing that he is their hero, and with every intention of taking pollution down to zero but The Eradicator flies up to meet him and after two very well placed punches fries him with his heat vision. From down in the water Col. Madrix and Harry Tasker both say simultaneousely "Now that's what I call global warming". When Capt. Planet dies, the rings on the fingers of the kids blow up. Vigo the Carpathian, who has been vigorousely struggling to stay above water with all of his medieval clothing and armor can not stay a float and drowns. The 6 marines who were not lucky enough to get a Popeil raft swim over to fight what they view as a little old man with crustaceans all over his face. But Darth Bain who had the foresight to as of yet not allow his lightsaber to get to wet pops out the red crystal blade and throws it at the 6 marines. He then controls the lightsaber's direction with the force as it kills all 6 of the marines and then sinks 4 more of the Ronco raftsTM (including Ron's) before the lightsaber lands in the water and shorts itself out. Harry Tasker, Al Gibson, and Col. Madrix all start vigorousely swimming toward the marines in order to attack them and perhaps take their rafts. The colonel, after seeing what Lord Bain just did tries to get him to join in their battle within a battle but Darth Bain acts like he cannot get over there (really because he does not wish to risk his life in this way for such foolish teammates). As they are swimming Albert Gibson cannot keep up, is overcome with fatigue and drowns before the battle can begin but Harry and John manage to each instantly climb aboard a raft and snap the necks of the marines that were controlling them. The two Ausrian born U.S. military officers begin directing their boats toward the remaining 14 marines. The marines, who think that they are crazy for trying to attack such a large group of trained men gladly start hand paddling up to meet them (Unfortunetely Ronco has not yet devised a portable paddle for the rafts). The Marines may have been right about how crazy they were but they do manage to each take out 5 marines in this hand to hand/boat to boat battle before they are eventually killed. Weapon Omega takes to the air in order to flank The Eradicator who has overly impressed his teammates with his abilities. The Eradicator noticed the Green Lantern rings on 3 of his opponents and knows exactly what they are capable of, so he is in the air patiently waiting for them to attack. The 3 Green Lantern's, led by Kyle Rayner no wait Guy Gardner no it's Kyle; no it's.... Well lets just say the two of them can't decide on who the leader should be; have opted to have their rings make scuba gear for themselves and stay in the water. Spawn, who does not need oxygen anyway has done a similar thing with his suit allowing him to swim freely and quickly throughout the water. The Kracken and the Queen Alien in a rare sense of fear have opted to stay far away from each other because although the instinct of both of them is to either destroy or control every creature around them, they feel some sense to leave each other alone (showing that they are possibly smart enough to know that they are fighting as a team unit). Apocylypse through strange shape-shifting has managed to stay above water thus far but he is an obvious fish out of water (or maybe it would be the opposite of that)? As Hydroman comes upon him, Apocylypse still has a total arrogance about him due to the fact that he is signifigantly more powerful than the super-villain who is approaching him; but in this instance environment seems to trump both expierence and power as Hydroman swirls around him using his own size and weight to send him sinking to the bottom of the sea. Howard the Duck swims over to Gladiator who is nowhere near as comfortable in the water as the talking duck. But when you have Gladiator's strength, you do not have to be that comfortable in the water to pull the bill off of a Duck and then crack its neck. So that is what Gladiator decides to do. Darth Bain, who has convinced both teams that he is to frail to be doing these things on his own convinces his teammates Gladiator to follow them and Atreides Soldier #11, who is a great swimmer having grown up on the watery planet of Caladan to carry him while swimming over to where the marines and the Capt. Planet kids are (who have climbed on top of the vacant Ronco RaftsTM). Hydroman, sees that they could be in trouble and swims over to help. Hydroman is confident that he can easily do away with these 3 enemies who seem to be having trouble even staying above water. Just then Gladiator does what Darth Bain has instructed him to do and throws him up onto the raft that "earth" is on. Lord Bain throws the kid off of the raft and then with a single wave of his hand force pushes the other kids and the marines all off of their rafts. Then the Dark Lord of the Sith shoots an amazingly powerful burst of Sith Lightning into the water below him which circulates throughout the immediate area killing The Capt. Planet kids, their monkey, the 4 remaining marines, Hydroman, and even his own teammates Gladiator and Atreides Soldier #11. Darth Bain himself is completely insulated from this attack by the Ronco RaftTM that he is standing in. The 3 Green Lanterns are about to triple team Spawn when the mighty Kracken decides that it is time for him to crash out of the water and come out of the murky depths from which he was dwelling. The giant monster (perhaps unknowingly) does this in such a way that he does not totally give up his water advantage, but by making the fight take place partially above the water, he will also recieve some help from Weapon Omega and The Eradicator. The 3 Green Lanterns take to the air and begin to circle the head of the huge mythical creature but it does not remain 3 green stripes in the sky for very long as The Kracken almost instantly swipes G'Nort out of the air and bites his furry head right off. This infuriates Guy Gardner causing him to say "No one is allowed to kill that annoying alien but me". Guy Gardner then starts blasting The Kracken with everything he has got which is causing obvious pain to the huge beast causing it to retreat back under the water. Guy Gardner follows it in to the water and Kyle Rayner attempts to follow him until he feels the firm grip of two hands on his shoulders. The Eradicator throws Rayner right back into the air and him and Weapon Omega start flying right after him. As Rayner regroups he shoots an extremely powerful blast that blows Weapon Omega apart, but this only gives The Eradicator an extra couple of seconds which is more than he needs to rip the green lantern limb from limb. The Kracken, who seems newly energized by spending a few moments back underneath the water pops back up to the surface and begins swiping at Guy Gardner who is flying around rapidly. Guy Gardner is way to fast for the now frustrated Kracken to be able to hit but The Eradicator hits him with one well placed blast of optic heat. This is not enough to severly hurt the very expierenced green lantern but it is enough to slow him down for a second while The Mighty Kracken grabs his flailing body out of the air and takes a healthy bite out of the flying hero.
TEAM GRIFFIN IS VICTORIOUS!
Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos is: Dave Bowman (The Starchild), Qui Gonn Jinn, Jar Jar Binks, Swimmell, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Capt. Tarpals, Gungan Soldier #1-50, Jedi Master #21, Angel, Mrs. Doubtfire, & Private Ryan.
George Washington's Slaves are: Martian Manhunter, Jason Bourne, Cthulu, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1-5, Wild Man #1, Suk Doctor #1, Arisia, Sonny (from I-Robot), Jimmy Neutron, Fidel Castro, Brian Griffin, George Castanza, David Beckham, & Ryan Burke.
Dave Bowman the Starchild who can be all places at all times invisibly oversees the field. Martian Manhunter senses Bowman's presence and tries to locate him. The Wild Man, having come from the barren plains of Dagorland cannot swim and drowns. Mrs. Doubtfire, in his fat suit can't keep his head above water and drowns but does not sink due to the foam rubber. Private Ryan, being kitted in his D-Day gear sinks like a stone and drowns. Jimmy Nuetron builds a hoverboat in which he Sonny the I-Robot, Fidel Castro, Brian Griffin, George Castanza, David Beckham and Ryan Burke sit, watch the battle and get drunk. Jason Bourne toes off against Angel, or at least as much as one can while treading water. The two of them, being kick ass fighters, make for a awesome battle that goes beyond the scope of this synopsis. Ultimately Bourne succumbs to Angel's vampire strength and has his arms ripped off. As Jason bleeds out and sinks the last thing he sees is the corpse of Private Ryan. He is astonished to see the resemblance to himself; there must be a connection but he can't remember… Qui Gonn, with his A-99 Aquata Breather, leads General Jar Jar, Captain Tarpals, Jedi Master #21, and fifty Gungans against Ki Adi Mundi, his five Jedi Masters. Five Jedi Masters are a close match for the fifty Gungans underwater and the battle was about to turn against the Gungans until Jar Jar dropped a power ball into the ammo crate and blew up all the Gungans and Jedi Masters to which Jar Jar says "Theysa all go boom". Jedi Master #21 then beheads Jar Jar. After a heated battle Qui Gon manages to kill Ki Adi Mundi only to feel a tenacle wrap around his leg. It is the Cthulu, rising from the blackest depths and it drags Qui Gon to his death. George Castanza shouts "Take that! Jedi Master – Jedi Smashter, huh." The Starchild decides that it is tome to stop observing and act. The hoverboat cracks in two, spilling its occupants into the water. Martian Manhunter demands that the Starchild show himself. Bowman obliges, transporting Martian Manhunter into the middle of the sun. Jedi Master #21 leaps off the floating corpse of Mrs. Doubtfire into the middle of the huddling survivors of the hoverboat. He slays Jimmy Neutron with a nasty head wound, not a great feat considering the size of his head. Then he turns on Sonny the I-Robot, turning him into bits of metal and plastic. The Starchild returns and appears behind George Castanza making George piss himself. This attracts the Cthulu which takes Jedi Master #21 down to join Qui Gon. Bowman then transports the Cthulu to Europa. The Cthulu being one of the Old Ones convinces bowman to merge with the Europa monolith and they then can shape the evolution of the Europans together. George, Castro, Brian Griffin and David Beckham all celebrate their victory and go home. Burke gets left behind and drowns.
Winner: George Washington's Slaves
George Washington's Slaves are: Martian Manhunter, Jason Bourne, Cthulu, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1-5, Wild Man #1, Suk Doctor #1, Arisia, Sonny (from I-Robot), Jimmy Neutron, Fidel Castro, Brian Griffin, George Castanza, David Beckham, & Ryan Burke.
Dave Bowman the Starchild who can be all places at all times invisibly oversees the field. Martian Manhunter senses Bowman's presence and tries to locate him. The Wild Man, having come from the barren plains of Dagorland cannot swim and drowns. Mrs. Doubtfire, in his fat suit can't keep his head above water and drowns but does not sink due to the foam rubber. Private Ryan, being kitted in his D-Day gear sinks like a stone and drowns. Jimmy Nuetron builds a hoverboat in which he Sonny the I-Robot, Fidel Castro, Brian Griffin, George Castanza, David Beckham and Ryan Burke sit, watch the battle and get drunk. Jason Bourne toes off against Angel, or at least as much as one can while treading water. The two of them, being kick ass fighters, make for a awesome battle that goes beyond the scope of this synopsis. Ultimately Bourne succumbs to Angel's vampire strength and has his arms ripped off. As Jason bleeds out and sinks the last thing he sees is the corpse of Private Ryan. He is astonished to see the resemblance to himself; there must be a connection but he can't remember… Qui Gonn, with his A-99 Aquata Breather, leads General Jar Jar, Captain Tarpals, Jedi Master #21, and fifty Gungans against Ki Adi Mundi, his five Jedi Masters. Five Jedi Masters are a close match for the fifty Gungans underwater and the battle was about to turn against the Gungans until Jar Jar dropped a power ball into the ammo crate and blew up all the Gungans and Jedi Masters to which Jar Jar says "Theysa all go boom". Jedi Master #21 then beheads Jar Jar. After a heated battle Qui Gon manages to kill Ki Adi Mundi only to feel a tenacle wrap around his leg. It is the Cthulu, rising from the blackest depths and it drags Qui Gon to his death. George Castanza shouts "Take that! Jedi Master – Jedi Smashter, huh." The Starchild decides that it is tome to stop observing and act. The hoverboat cracks in two, spilling its occupants into the water. Martian Manhunter demands that the Starchild show himself. Bowman obliges, transporting Martian Manhunter into the middle of the sun. Jedi Master #21 leaps off the floating corpse of Mrs. Doubtfire into the middle of the huddling survivors of the hoverboat. He slays Jimmy Neutron with a nasty head wound, not a great feat considering the size of his head. Then he turns on Sonny the I-Robot, turning him into bits of metal and plastic. The Starchild returns and appears behind George Castanza making George piss himself. This attracts the Cthulu which takes Jedi Master #21 down to join Qui Gon. Bowman then transports the Cthulu to Europa. The Cthulu being one of the Old Ones convinces bowman to merge with the Europa monolith and they then can shape the evolution of the Europans together. George, Castro, Brian Griffin and David Beckham all celebrate their victory and go home. Burke gets left behind and drowns.
Winner: George Washington's Slaves
Monday, March 10, 2008
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing
Le' Napoleon Brigade is Obi Wan Kenobie, Jaws the shark, Glinda: The Good Witch, The Lochness Monster, The Sando Aqua Monster, Penguin, Padme Amidala, Jedi Master #31 & 32, Wonder Woman & Wonder Girl, Silver Dragon #1 & 2, Posh Spice, Scary Spice, Baby Spice, Ginger Spice, Sporty Spice, & Joe Perry.
The Right Wing is Posieden, Phibian #11-18, Kit Fisto, Mikhail Bakunin, Princess Ariel, Scrappy-Doo, Jedi Knight #16-21, Zues, & Nick Houslander.
Both teams are dropped into the water. The 2 Jedi Masters, Obi-Wan, and Padme all climb on the backs of the 2 silver dragons and they take to the air. The 2 dragons drop Padme and the 3 Jedi's off at the small island where they begin to fortify their position. Glinda also begins to fly in order to get a vantage point from the air (Coach Bonaparte insists that his team attempt to control all aspects of every battle). The Sando Aqua Monster, Lochness Monster, and Jaws all instinctively begin to swim deep into the sea where they feel the most comfortable. The Right Wing's 6 Jedi's, led by Mikhail, an excellent swimmer begin to swim toward the small island in order to fight the other Jedi head-on. Nick swims up on Joe Perry, who despite how great he looks in a bathing suit with his 6 pack abs is not much of a swimmer. Nick, regrettably because he is such a big fan, swims up behind him, pulls out his not-so waterproof hunting knife and brutally kills Joe Perry by sticking the knife into his neck. Kit Fisto pops his head above water and says to Nick "Nice one son" (Jedi Master Fisto uses that term all the time). Fisto then yells "go get the Spice girls, they are getting away". Nick says "What are you crazy, Joe Perry is one thing, I can't hurt the Spice Girls. It is at this time, during this ludicrous argument that Silver Dragon#2 swoops down and grabs Nick right out of the water with his teeth killing him. The Spice Girls, who for some strange reason seem to be able to float with just their heads above water without moving their hands and feet?... Swim in to join the battle. Scrappy-Doo, who is not scared of anything, even Scary Spice rushes in yelling "puppy power" to take on all the Spice Girls at once. The Spice girls rip the poor puppy apart (who ever new that any of The Spice Girls could be so mean, (except for maybe Eddie Murphy)). The 6 Jedi Knights with Mikhail have finally reached the small island and begin to storm it. Padme, first starts shooting at them but they manage to block all of the blaster bolts with their lightsabers. The 6 Knights attack the 3 Masters, hoping that in this case numbers will trump expierence. Jedi Master #31 goes in for the kill and takes out Jedi Knight #17, but while he is lightsaber battling with #16, #20 stabs him in the chest. Obi-Wan, who is the most skilled Jedi on the small island attacks and easily takes out Knight #18 & 21 with a little spin move. He then force pushes #19 out of the way, knocking his lightsaber out of his hand. This gives Padme the oppurtunity to shoot him. Jedi Master #32, who has been battling with knight #20 finally finishes him off with a head shot. With only 1 Jedi Knight left, Obi Wan says "we take him togeather", the two of them have no problem killing the less expierenced Jedi. Although during the course of this battle everyone has somewhat forgotten about Mikhail who has picked up Jedi Knight #19's lightsaber. He takes her off guard and uses it to cut Padme in half. Obi Wan says "NOOOOOOOOOOO". Zues, who has recently taken to the air to meet Glinda and the dragons; in an attempt to help the mere mortal yells to Mikhail "AYE! Friend Jump back into the water and get out of there" Mikhail says "Get off the island? What is this the last episode"? As he is saying this the enraged Obi Wan cuts off the arm holding the green lightsaber and then finishes him off. Ariel swims over to where Penguin is and begins to circle him. Penguin, who is a great swimmer due to his birth defects is still no match for Ariel in the water. She swims by him like he was standing still, and then swims underneath him grabbing his right leg. She then tightens her grip and begins swimming downward, not stopping until he stops struggling. Ariel then swims up to Wonder Woman and her sidekick, in an attempt to do the same move. Ariel tries this on Wonder Girl first and it actually starts to work until Wonder Girl grabs part of the lasso off of Wonder Woman's belt. Wonder Woman, with a firm grip on the other end of the lasso pulls the two of them back up to the surface of the water. She grabs Ariel by the fin and throws her a few feet into the air. On the way down all it takes is one swift punch to Ariel's head to take her out of commission. Posieden, who is being followed by the 8 phibians and Kit Fisto begin to swim deep into the water to meet the threat of the 3 huge animals that are dwelling down there. Posieden decidedes that as the god of the sea it is he that is best suited to battle the huge Sando Aqua Monster. Kit Fisto will take on Nessie and the Phibians will attempt to fight Jaws. Nessie tries to attack Kit Fisto with its teeth but Kit is to fast for that. The Jedi evades the jaws of the animal but Nessie manages to hit him with its tail knocking Kit Fisto to the side. Nessie tries to eat him but Kit Fisto manages to force push him, sending him backward through the water. As Nessie is tumbling through the water attempting to get its balance back Kit Fisto uses his waterproof lightsaber to cut right through the long neck of The Lochness Monster. Jaws is drawn to the blood of Nessie and starts moving over that way. With there being fresh blood in the water it is especially annoying to the great white shark that there are 8 phibians trying to attack him. Jaws turns around to meet his attackers and swallows Phibian #6 whole. The other 7 phibians, moving through the water with incredible speed and grace begin stabbing the huge shark with their harpoons. The Phibians are fierce fighters and with their servant mentality do not mind accepting heavy losses in order to defeat this enemy. Jaws bites two more Phibians in half (#2 &3) but 4 of them manage to get on the back of the monstrous shark and begin stabbing it like mad. Phibian #8 gets swallowed, but while barely alive in the shark's mouth continues to stab with his harpoon. These internal and external injuries are finally enough to kill Jaws. Glinda, who believes that she has the air advantage with the help of the 2 silver dragons is greatly underestimating the god of thunder. Zues throws a single lightning bolt at Silver Dragon #1 which completely fries the dragon. Glinda tries to counter this attack with her wand but Zues absorbs her attack and sends the power right back at her destroying the wand. Zues then goes in for the kill. He flies up on Glinda with amazing speed and he then grabs a hold of her sending electricity through her entire body, killing her. He then gets on the back of the other dragon and begins strangling it until they both go plummeting into the water with only the King of the gods surviving. Posieden, who is engaged in a truly epic battle with the Sando Aqua Monster is moving through the sea at incredible speeds. The huge monster has been completely unable to touch the Greek god but Posieden has stabbed the huge monster dozens of times with his mystical trident, each time causing the beast to cringe in pain. Kit Fisto and the phibians begin to swim up to help, but Posieden waves them off because he does not want to share the glory of destroying this monstrous animal. The sea monster swipes its mighty hand, narrowly missing the god. Posieden then swims up towards the top of the beast first jabbing the trident into its eye and then its jugular vein, killing the tremendous animal. Zues then climbs up on shore of the tiny island where Obi Wan and the other master are still hanging out. Zues pulls 2 lightning bolts out of nowhere like swords and begins to fight with the 2 Jedi. Obi Wan and the other master move in unison, both of them jumping around like acrobats. Zues kicks Obi Wan in the hand sending a bolt of lightning through it which shorts out his lightsaber and destroys it. The god then takes both of his bolts and stabs them into the body of Jedi Master #32, but while this is happening Obi Wan makes an incredible move by flipping over to the backside of Zues while he is tied up stabbing the other Jedi. Obi Wan uses the force to pick up one of the fallen Jedi's lightsabers and then uses it to cut off the head of Zues. Posieden and the phibians start to swim back to the surface where Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, and The Spice Girls are wading in the water having a true girl power conversation about men and how much they suck. Posieden goes for Wonder Woman who in the past has fought with many a god, often times successfully; but she is a little mismatched in this environment. They begin to trade punches but once Posieden gets a hold of her and the punches they are trading take place under water it eventually makes for a battle that Wonder Woman cannot win. She ends up dead, getting a trident in the chest. As the phibians surround Wonder Girl she realizes quickly that she is completely mismatched if she is to fight creatures like these while she is in the water. Although she does manage to land one well placed punch that kills Phibian #4 before the remaining 3 phibians drag her beneath the surface and stab her with their harpoons until she is dead. Kit Fisto then uses his force powers from underneath the water to make a violent wave which knocks all 5 of the Spice Girls unconcious causing them to drown. Obi Wan Kenobi, now the soul survivor of Napoleon's Brigade knows that he is no match for the 6 remaining members of the Right Wing. Even Kit Fisto who Obi Wan believes he could possibly defeat if the circumstances were different he knows he cannot beat when Master Fisto has the only lightsaber that will work under water. But Qui Gonn taught the jedi to never give up so he puts on his small mouth breathing apparatus and dives into the water. He does not even have time to do 1 force push before Kit Fisto and the Phibians destroy him.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!
The Right Wing is Posieden, Phibian #11-18, Kit Fisto, Mikhail Bakunin, Princess Ariel, Scrappy-Doo, Jedi Knight #16-21, Zues, & Nick Houslander.
Both teams are dropped into the water. The 2 Jedi Masters, Obi-Wan, and Padme all climb on the backs of the 2 silver dragons and they take to the air. The 2 dragons drop Padme and the 3 Jedi's off at the small island where they begin to fortify their position. Glinda also begins to fly in order to get a vantage point from the air (Coach Bonaparte insists that his team attempt to control all aspects of every battle). The Sando Aqua Monster, Lochness Monster, and Jaws all instinctively begin to swim deep into the sea where they feel the most comfortable. The Right Wing's 6 Jedi's, led by Mikhail, an excellent swimmer begin to swim toward the small island in order to fight the other Jedi head-on. Nick swims up on Joe Perry, who despite how great he looks in a bathing suit with his 6 pack abs is not much of a swimmer. Nick, regrettably because he is such a big fan, swims up behind him, pulls out his not-so waterproof hunting knife and brutally kills Joe Perry by sticking the knife into his neck. Kit Fisto pops his head above water and says to Nick "Nice one son" (Jedi Master Fisto uses that term all the time). Fisto then yells "go get the Spice girls, they are getting away". Nick says "What are you crazy, Joe Perry is one thing, I can't hurt the Spice Girls. It is at this time, during this ludicrous argument that Silver Dragon#2 swoops down and grabs Nick right out of the water with his teeth killing him. The Spice Girls, who for some strange reason seem to be able to float with just their heads above water without moving their hands and feet?... Swim in to join the battle. Scrappy-Doo, who is not scared of anything, even Scary Spice rushes in yelling "puppy power" to take on all the Spice Girls at once. The Spice girls rip the poor puppy apart (who ever new that any of The Spice Girls could be so mean, (except for maybe Eddie Murphy)). The 6 Jedi Knights with Mikhail have finally reached the small island and begin to storm it. Padme, first starts shooting at them but they manage to block all of the blaster bolts with their lightsabers. The 6 Knights attack the 3 Masters, hoping that in this case numbers will trump expierence. Jedi Master #31 goes in for the kill and takes out Jedi Knight #17, but while he is lightsaber battling with #16, #20 stabs him in the chest. Obi-Wan, who is the most skilled Jedi on the small island attacks and easily takes out Knight #18 & 21 with a little spin move. He then force pushes #19 out of the way, knocking his lightsaber out of his hand. This gives Padme the oppurtunity to shoot him. Jedi Master #32, who has been battling with knight #20 finally finishes him off with a head shot. With only 1 Jedi Knight left, Obi Wan says "we take him togeather", the two of them have no problem killing the less expierenced Jedi. Although during the course of this battle everyone has somewhat forgotten about Mikhail who has picked up Jedi Knight #19's lightsaber. He takes her off guard and uses it to cut Padme in half. Obi Wan says "NOOOOOOOOOOO". Zues, who has recently taken to the air to meet Glinda and the dragons; in an attempt to help the mere mortal yells to Mikhail "AYE! Friend Jump back into the water and get out of there" Mikhail says "Get off the island? What is this the last episode"? As he is saying this the enraged Obi Wan cuts off the arm holding the green lightsaber and then finishes him off. Ariel swims over to where Penguin is and begins to circle him. Penguin, who is a great swimmer due to his birth defects is still no match for Ariel in the water. She swims by him like he was standing still, and then swims underneath him grabbing his right leg. She then tightens her grip and begins swimming downward, not stopping until he stops struggling. Ariel then swims up to Wonder Woman and her sidekick, in an attempt to do the same move. Ariel tries this on Wonder Girl first and it actually starts to work until Wonder Girl grabs part of the lasso off of Wonder Woman's belt. Wonder Woman, with a firm grip on the other end of the lasso pulls the two of them back up to the surface of the water. She grabs Ariel by the fin and throws her a few feet into the air. On the way down all it takes is one swift punch to Ariel's head to take her out of commission. Posieden, who is being followed by the 8 phibians and Kit Fisto begin to swim deep into the water to meet the threat of the 3 huge animals that are dwelling down there. Posieden decidedes that as the god of the sea it is he that is best suited to battle the huge Sando Aqua Monster. Kit Fisto will take on Nessie and the Phibians will attempt to fight Jaws. Nessie tries to attack Kit Fisto with its teeth but Kit is to fast for that. The Jedi evades the jaws of the animal but Nessie manages to hit him with its tail knocking Kit Fisto to the side. Nessie tries to eat him but Kit Fisto manages to force push him, sending him backward through the water. As Nessie is tumbling through the water attempting to get its balance back Kit Fisto uses his waterproof lightsaber to cut right through the long neck of The Lochness Monster. Jaws is drawn to the blood of Nessie and starts moving over that way. With there being fresh blood in the water it is especially annoying to the great white shark that there are 8 phibians trying to attack him. Jaws turns around to meet his attackers and swallows Phibian #6 whole. The other 7 phibians, moving through the water with incredible speed and grace begin stabbing the huge shark with their harpoons. The Phibians are fierce fighters and with their servant mentality do not mind accepting heavy losses in order to defeat this enemy. Jaws bites two more Phibians in half (#2 &3) but 4 of them manage to get on the back of the monstrous shark and begin stabbing it like mad. Phibian #8 gets swallowed, but while barely alive in the shark's mouth continues to stab with his harpoon. These internal and external injuries are finally enough to kill Jaws. Glinda, who believes that she has the air advantage with the help of the 2 silver dragons is greatly underestimating the god of thunder. Zues throws a single lightning bolt at Silver Dragon #1 which completely fries the dragon. Glinda tries to counter this attack with her wand but Zues absorbs her attack and sends the power right back at her destroying the wand. Zues then goes in for the kill. He flies up on Glinda with amazing speed and he then grabs a hold of her sending electricity through her entire body, killing her. He then gets on the back of the other dragon and begins strangling it until they both go plummeting into the water with only the King of the gods surviving. Posieden, who is engaged in a truly epic battle with the Sando Aqua Monster is moving through the sea at incredible speeds. The huge monster has been completely unable to touch the Greek god but Posieden has stabbed the huge monster dozens of times with his mystical trident, each time causing the beast to cringe in pain. Kit Fisto and the phibians begin to swim up to help, but Posieden waves them off because he does not want to share the glory of destroying this monstrous animal. The sea monster swipes its mighty hand, narrowly missing the god. Posieden then swims up towards the top of the beast first jabbing the trident into its eye and then its jugular vein, killing the tremendous animal. Zues then climbs up on shore of the tiny island where Obi Wan and the other master are still hanging out. Zues pulls 2 lightning bolts out of nowhere like swords and begins to fight with the 2 Jedi. Obi Wan and the other master move in unison, both of them jumping around like acrobats. Zues kicks Obi Wan in the hand sending a bolt of lightning through it which shorts out his lightsaber and destroys it. The god then takes both of his bolts and stabs them into the body of Jedi Master #32, but while this is happening Obi Wan makes an incredible move by flipping over to the backside of Zues while he is tied up stabbing the other Jedi. Obi Wan uses the force to pick up one of the fallen Jedi's lightsabers and then uses it to cut off the head of Zues. Posieden and the phibians start to swim back to the surface where Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, and The Spice Girls are wading in the water having a true girl power conversation about men and how much they suck. Posieden goes for Wonder Woman who in the past has fought with many a god, often times successfully; but she is a little mismatched in this environment. They begin to trade punches but once Posieden gets a hold of her and the punches they are trading take place under water it eventually makes for a battle that Wonder Woman cannot win. She ends up dead, getting a trident in the chest. As the phibians surround Wonder Girl she realizes quickly that she is completely mismatched if she is to fight creatures like these while she is in the water. Although she does manage to land one well placed punch that kills Phibian #4 before the remaining 3 phibians drag her beneath the surface and stab her with their harpoons until she is dead. Kit Fisto then uses his force powers from underneath the water to make a violent wave which knocks all 5 of the Spice Girls unconcious causing them to drown. Obi Wan Kenobi, now the soul survivor of Napoleon's Brigade knows that he is no match for the 6 remaining members of the Right Wing. Even Kit Fisto who Obi Wan believes he could possibly defeat if the circumstances were different he knows he cannot beat when Master Fisto has the only lightsaber that will work under water. But Qui Gonn taught the jedi to never give up so he puts on his small mouth breathing apparatus and dives into the water. He does not even have time to do 1 force push before Kit Fisto and the Phibians destroy him.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Better Than All of You Vs. Team Shaun
Better Than All of You is Aquaman, Aqualad, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), NS-5 #1-22, & Megadeth's Bass Player.
Team Shaun is Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, Zit, Rash, Pimple, Xenomorph #85-93, Navy Sailor #60-65, & Little Goomba #1.
Both teams are dropped into the water. Green Lantern creates a full green scuba gear for himself with his ring and puts an oxygen tank on Megadeth's Bass Player (and yes I will be referring to him as Megadeth's Bass Player throughout this entire scenario because I do not know his real name, nor did I feel like looking it up). The Battletoads pull out there surf boards in order to stay above the water, but Green Lantern takes to the air and one by one destroys the three surf boards with blasts of pure green energy, knocking the Battletoads into the water. Green Lantern then dives in below them. Aquaman tries to take control of the minds of the ninja turtles but is unsuccessful due to the fact that they do not have the minds of an animal in water, their minds are in fact human. So Aquaman along with Aqualad attack the four turtles. The Turtles move pretty well in the water although the ancient masters did not exactly have fully submersed water fighting in mind when they invented ninjitsu. The turtles, other than Donatello are also having quite a hard time using their weapons underwater because you cannot really swing an edged weapon hard enough or fast enough to make it overly usefull especially against fighters with as much underwater grace and speed as Aquaman and his sidekick. Aquaman goes in for Leonardo first, he easily dodges a swing from Leo's katana and then with one well placed punch to the head causes a deadly brain trauma. Aquaman tries to hang back in order to strategically take the turtles out one at a time but Aqualad gets cocky and decides to rush in against the 3 remaining turtles, he swims in with incredible speed and with one swift pull, he yanks the shell right off of Michelangelo's back, killing him. He then comes around the back of Raphael and with his superior strength grabs the hands of Raphael shoving his own two sai's right into the turtles chest. It is at this moment when Aqualad believes that he is going to easily win this battle that Donatello comes in over top and behind Aqualad, placing his legs over Aqualad's arms locking them back into place. He then takes his staff and shoves it right into the mouth of Aqualad just as he was about to say something cocky. He repeatedly rams the staff in their destroying his watery lungs, killing him. Aquaman, now in full Atlantean rage attacks Donatello fiercely caving in his reptilian skull. The NS-5's have been battling the Xenomorphs and the Xenomorphs with the help of the six Navy men seem to have the upper hand. Both groups move extremely well in the water but the Xenomorphs are taking them out in about a 2 to 1 ratio. They fight fiercely hand to hand and the NS-5's have no problem attacking the Xenomorphs due to the fact that they are far from human looking. Although the Xenomorphs are not intelligent enough to realize that due to their programming they will not attack the Navy Sailors. When the battle is overwith the 22 NS-5's are all dead but they manage to kill Xenomorph # 1,3,4,5,7, & 9; all 6 Navy Sailors are unharmed. Green Lantern, who now has the Battletoads right where he wants them creates a huge net underneath the 3 toads. He then makes the net wrap around them and creates a huge anchor underneath it. The Battletoads are trapped in the net as they begin to float to the bottom of the sea and drown. Megadeth's Bass Player, who has been swimming downward, chasing the Little Goomba. The little Goomba, who has no way of doing anything but sinking, gets caught up in some seaweed. Magadeth's B.P. takes this as an oppurtunity to pull a large rock, that was also caught in the weeds out and use it to smash the Goomba. Aquaman now goes after the 3 remaining Xenomorphs. While Green Lantern attacks the 6 Navy Sailors. They tell Megadeth's B.P. to start swimming to the surface. Green Lantern seems to be stalling in his fight with the sailors because he is waiting for the member of Megadeth to reach the small island off to the side. Once he gets there G.L. creates a huge saw blade made out of green energy. This blade cuts the oxygen tanks off of the back of the sailors. As they all start swimming toward the surface G.L., with a thin barricade of green energy blocks off the surface so they can not escape. Because Green Lantern is a good guy at heart he blasts all 6 of them in order to make their deaths not to painful. Aquaman is still fighting the 3 Xenomorphs, and running into a little bit of trouble in the process. He has managed to pull the tail off of #2 and jam it into the head of #8, killing it. He then attacked #6 by getting behind it and cracking its neck, then partially pulling its head from its body but some of the alien's concentrated acid blood gets on his arms, wounding him. The tailess xenomorph then begins to attack the wounded Atlantean but he is saved by a green blast from Green Lantern's ring. G.L. then puts a protective green coating over his teammate and Aquaman does the same neck cracking move on Xenomorph #2 that worked so well on #6.
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!
Team Shaun is Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, Zit, Rash, Pimple, Xenomorph #85-93, Navy Sailor #60-65, & Little Goomba #1.
Both teams are dropped into the water. Green Lantern creates a full green scuba gear for himself with his ring and puts an oxygen tank on Megadeth's Bass Player (and yes I will be referring to him as Megadeth's Bass Player throughout this entire scenario because I do not know his real name, nor did I feel like looking it up). The Battletoads pull out there surf boards in order to stay above the water, but Green Lantern takes to the air and one by one destroys the three surf boards with blasts of pure green energy, knocking the Battletoads into the water. Green Lantern then dives in below them. Aquaman tries to take control of the minds of the ninja turtles but is unsuccessful due to the fact that they do not have the minds of an animal in water, their minds are in fact human. So Aquaman along with Aqualad attack the four turtles. The Turtles move pretty well in the water although the ancient masters did not exactly have fully submersed water fighting in mind when they invented ninjitsu. The turtles, other than Donatello are also having quite a hard time using their weapons underwater because you cannot really swing an edged weapon hard enough or fast enough to make it overly usefull especially against fighters with as much underwater grace and speed as Aquaman and his sidekick. Aquaman goes in for Leonardo first, he easily dodges a swing from Leo's katana and then with one well placed punch to the head causes a deadly brain trauma. Aquaman tries to hang back in order to strategically take the turtles out one at a time but Aqualad gets cocky and decides to rush in against the 3 remaining turtles, he swims in with incredible speed and with one swift pull, he yanks the shell right off of Michelangelo's back, killing him. He then comes around the back of Raphael and with his superior strength grabs the hands of Raphael shoving his own two sai's right into the turtles chest. It is at this moment when Aqualad believes that he is going to easily win this battle that Donatello comes in over top and behind Aqualad, placing his legs over Aqualad's arms locking them back into place. He then takes his staff and shoves it right into the mouth of Aqualad just as he was about to say something cocky. He repeatedly rams the staff in their destroying his watery lungs, killing him. Aquaman, now in full Atlantean rage attacks Donatello fiercely caving in his reptilian skull. The NS-5's have been battling the Xenomorphs and the Xenomorphs with the help of the six Navy men seem to have the upper hand. Both groups move extremely well in the water but the Xenomorphs are taking them out in about a 2 to 1 ratio. They fight fiercely hand to hand and the NS-5's have no problem attacking the Xenomorphs due to the fact that they are far from human looking. Although the Xenomorphs are not intelligent enough to realize that due to their programming they will not attack the Navy Sailors. When the battle is overwith the 22 NS-5's are all dead but they manage to kill Xenomorph # 1,3,4,5,7, & 9; all 6 Navy Sailors are unharmed. Green Lantern, who now has the Battletoads right where he wants them creates a huge net underneath the 3 toads. He then makes the net wrap around them and creates a huge anchor underneath it. The Battletoads are trapped in the net as they begin to float to the bottom of the sea and drown. Megadeth's Bass Player, who has been swimming downward, chasing the Little Goomba. The little Goomba, who has no way of doing anything but sinking, gets caught up in some seaweed. Magadeth's B.P. takes this as an oppurtunity to pull a large rock, that was also caught in the weeds out and use it to smash the Goomba. Aquaman now goes after the 3 remaining Xenomorphs. While Green Lantern attacks the 6 Navy Sailors. They tell Megadeth's B.P. to start swimming to the surface. Green Lantern seems to be stalling in his fight with the sailors because he is waiting for the member of Megadeth to reach the small island off to the side. Once he gets there G.L. creates a huge saw blade made out of green energy. This blade cuts the oxygen tanks off of the back of the sailors. As they all start swimming toward the surface G.L., with a thin barricade of green energy blocks off the surface so they can not escape. Because Green Lantern is a good guy at heart he blasts all 6 of them in order to make their deaths not to painful. Aquaman is still fighting the 3 Xenomorphs, and running into a little bit of trouble in the process. He has managed to pull the tail off of #2 and jam it into the head of #8, killing it. He then attacked #6 by getting behind it and cracking its neck, then partially pulling its head from its body but some of the alien's concentrated acid blood gets on his arms, wounding him. The tailess xenomorph then begins to attack the wounded Atlantean but he is saved by a green blast from Green Lantern's ring. G.L. then puts a protective green coating over his teammate and Aquaman does the same neck cracking move on Xenomorph #2 that worked so well on #6.
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!
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