Spoiler Sport Week 5!

Hello Everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport. Here on The Ocho! The Play-Off Planet decided old rivalries, while many new ones were created among planetary unrest!

We start with Mitchy's Luminous Tentacle Warriors, who ordered up a loss in week 5. B-3 was happy to benefit, and find themselves in a good position heading into the home stretch. We here at Spoiler Sport have a good feeling about The Warriors in week 6!

The Grindhouse's Tom Brady had an impressive offensive line blocking for him, but when Yellow Lantern Becks met Team SP's Zombie Becks, Becker-Mania ran wild on their plans! Bizarro was kind enough to declare The Grindhouse victorious, but in Bizarro-speak, that means Team Sleeping Pussy wins!

Care Becks saw the majority of the action for Charles' Barkley's Turrible Decisions, but in the end, it all came down to The Slaves' Darth Shemalya. Is this the birth of a new FFL Legend? Only time will tell!

Real Man's Rabblerousers get wrecked by The Supper Orange Kitties and Cats. Despite the best efforts of The Red Hulk, The Kitties get by, thanks to Supergirl and Kingdom Come Wonder Woman! Condolences are in order for Menos, who was rudely awakened during his siesta.

The decimated Play-Off Planet caught a break in The Travelling Sisterhood versus TEAM match. TEAM's Captain America's strategy went according to plan, but unfortunately, it was all just an alternate reality imagined by The Midgets' Franklin Richards.


The Play-Off Planet sustained severe damage throughout The Imperial Commandos and Fighting Nut-Busters match. As the planet itself shuddered, Earth-2 Superman made his presence felt at various points in the fight! Filmy the Ewok, LMD Vinnie Johnson, and John Browning toured the carnage via AT-ST, but they are ended by the experienced and ever-dangerous Dora in the finale. The Empire and The Commandos hope to use this win to bolster their post-season dreams, as the future becomes more uncertain for The Murderflies and Nut-Busters.

Finally, The Universe Bowl rematch was all we could have hoped for, delivering satifying action on every front! Desperate plans by both teams had their ups and downs, but the wins and loses piled up in the end. The Highness' out-numbered Yoda fell before the Horsemen's Batman and Wonder Woman! Can anyone stop the rampaging Horsemen of Apokolips?

As always, the excitement of Week 5 is concluded with Pepper Brooks' Resurrection Points report. Pepper!


Muh muhmuh muh muhmuh muh muh muh. Muhmuhmuh muhmuhmuh muhmuh muhmuh muh muh. Muh! Muh muh muhmuh muh muh! Muhmuh muhmuhmuh muh muhmuh muhmuh muhmuh muh. Muhmuhmuh muhmuh muh muhmuh muh muh muhmuh!

Thank you Pepper! Some of your finest reporting yet! Next week, The FFL heads to the punishing deserts of The Outskirts of Arakeem. In this critical time of the season, the slightest mistakes can any evaporate any hope of the play-offs, while winning teams might just find their own post-season oasis! Stay tuned to The Ocho as we travel to Nueilly-sur-Seine, France for the qualifying match in competitive Pelota! For The Ocho, I'm Cotton McKnight. Thank you, and goodnight.

Prologue.

"And so the day will come...when the blood of the dead shall spill and grant him powers beyond those he already possesses. The sacrifices made shall put forth the fall of an empire, and cause the ground itself to shakes and swallow the unworthy whole. A flash from the sky shall signal the end as the empire continues to fall"

Apocalpyse finishes reading the ancient text. A smile creeps across his face as he fires up a joint.

"F**kin' aye, right." He says as he inhales "The Empire falls."

Season 7, Week 6 Match: George Washington's Slaves vs. Mitchy's Luminous Tentacle Warriors

“Some say that Darth Shemalya was the fiercest of all the Sith.  I believe it to be true.”

            -Darth Skceb [Diary of the Sith]

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 7, Week 6 Match located at the outskirts of Arakeen.  They are as follows:

Mitchy’s Luminous Tentacle Warriors: Dust, Sandworms #2A and #10, Parademons #1-4, Terminator #39, White Dragons #16-19, Green Dragon #23, Red Dragons #25 and #26 and Sharkticon #12.

George Washington’s Slaves: Darth Shamalya, Kryptonian Army Soldier #1, Jedi Masters #1C-6C, Ancient Ginaz Swordmasters #7-12, Ginaz Swordmasters #1-6 and Sandworms #17-19.

Warriors’ locker room. . .

Dust: All we are is dust in the wind.

Terminator #39: Not all of us.

Slaves locker room. . .

Jedi Master #1C:  Look at her.  Shemalya sits in the corner, talking to no one.  What is she doing?

Jedi Master #3C:  She meditates upon the match, my friend.

Jedi Master #1C:  That is what frightens me, Master 1C.  That is what frightens me.

THE TRUMPETING OF A HORN IS HEARD THROUGHOUT THE ARAKEEN SANDS.

Let the match begin. . .

Shemalya. . .

The lean man has his stingbeam focused on Pinn. 

Bama Jorden:  Ani, don’t make me do this!

Shemalya:  Pinn is no more.  Where she was, now stands Shemalya.

Jorden:  No.  No.  No!!!!

Shemalya:  Yes!

Shemalya raises her arms and holds her hands out.  Lightning bursts forth from her fingers, encasing Jorden.  The man screams and falls to the floor in sheer agony.  Shemalya is relentless as the dark side races through Jorden’s body.  Shemalya smiles as she burns her former lover.  Jorden’s eyes glaze over and he dies.  Shemalya looks at Jorden’s body and feels nothing.

Arakeen. . .

Terminator #39 locates his specified half dozen prey.  Ginaz Swordmasters #1-6 slowly creep along the sandy ground and encircle the robotic combatant.  The swordsmen repeatedly use precision strikes against Terminator #39.  The Dune warriors manage to shred the living tissue surrounding the armor in various places, but it is not enough for the Tentacle Warrior to succumb.  Throughout the melee, Terminator #39 manages to crush the larynx of Ginaz Swordmaster #1, rip the heart out of Ginaz Swordmaster #2, decimate the skull of Ginaz Swordmaster #3, devastate the chest of Ginaz Swordmaster #4, decapitate Ginaz Swordmaster #5 and break the back and neck of Ginaz Swordmaster #6.  Terminator #39 scans the carnage formerly known as Ginaz Swordmasters #1-6.  The robot turns around only to see Kryptonian Army Soldier #1.  In a matter of seconds, the Kryptonian rips the head off of Terminator #39, who then sinks to the ground, destroyed.

Shemalya. . .

The troopers surround Shemalya, knowing that she is a Sith Lord.  Nonetheless, she is still only one person against a full regiment of men.  Shemalya licks her lips as the squad begins to fire.  Shemalya’s red lightsaber blade dances through the night as her catlike eyes adjust to the duskiness of the dark sky.  Her skillful treachery does not disappoint as she remains the only one standing at the end of the melee.

Arakeen. . .

The monstrous sandworms of both teams focus on one another.  Sandworms #2A and #10 battle against Sandworms #17 and #19.  At the end of the fray, only immense carcasses remain, entrails scattered throughout the sands.  Meanwhile, the Warriors’ “Dragon Squad” faces remaining Sandworm #18.  Although White Dragons #16 and 19, along with Red Dragon #25 perish in the battle, the remaining dragons, with the combination of frost, fire and gas manage to kill Sandworm #18. 

Shemalya. . .

The facility attendants talk to one another while keeping an eye on young Pinn.

Rovis:  She has shown a tremendous ability to manipulate the Force.

Fermons:  More than any other who have come to this facility.

Rovis:  We must test her limits.

Fermons:  She is only nine years old.

Rovis:  She may be only nine, but she is the wielder of immense power.  We need to see if she can harness it and in turn, we her.

Fermons: We are playing with fire, Rovis.

Rovis:  My dear Fermons, I am not playing.

Arakeen. . .

Ancient Ginaz Swordmasters #7-12 face Parademons #1-4.  The Parademons’ Apokaliptian armor affords them the protection needed against the swords, but also allows them to fly back and forth from the fray when becoming too heated.  Although the battle lasts tens of minutes, its is the eventuality that the Parademons overwhelm the Ancient Ginaz Swordmasters with their superior technology.  Thus, although Parademon #3 falls in the skirmish, all Ancient Ginaz Swordmasters #7-12 fall in battle.    Jedi Masters #1C-6C run to fight against the Parademons.  Using the Force and their lightsabers, it is only a matter of time before the Jedi gain the upper hand over the Parademons and kill remaining Parademons #1, 2 and 4.  Only Jedi Master #3C falls in the fight.    

Shemalya. . .

Pinn:  I love you Bama.

Bama Jorden:  I love you too Ani.

The two individuals embrace and their soft kisses morph into a probing of tongues and spittle.  Their clothes are torn off by one another and the two’s passion ignites as they become one.

Arakeen. . . 

White Dragons #17 and #18, along with Green Dragon #23 and Red Dragon #26 joins Sharkticon #12 in a battle against Kryptonian Army Soldier #1 and Jedi Masters #1C, 2C and 4C-6C.  Jedi Masters #1C and 4C join forces and manage to kill Red Dragon #26.  Both fall to the frost spewed forth by the gullets of White Dragons #17 and 18.  Both of the White Dragons are killed by Kryptonian Army Solider #1, with the assistance of Jedi Masters #2C and 5C.  Sharkticon #12 rips apart Jedi Masters #5C and 6C, but is crushed by Kryptonian Army Solider #1.  At the end of the battle Green Dragon #23 and the remaining Jedi Master #2C is killed; only Kryptonian Army Solider #1 remains alive.

Shemalya. . .

The cloaked figure strides across the tundra.  She is searching for the facility that she believes created who she is today.  Shemalya sees a reflective glimmer off a structure ahead.  She trudges forward, anticipating as to what she will find and what answers may be granted through her search.

Arakeen. . .

Dust stands alone against Shemalya and Kryptonian Army Soldier #1.  Dust immediately begins to control the sands, whipping them into a frenzied cyclone which swirls about both Shemalya and KAS#1.  Nothing is seen or heard through the wind until a red bladed lightsaber shoots through the gale, slicing off Dust’s head.  Dust’s headless body falls to the ground and the winds immediately dissipate.  Shemalya turns to KAS#1.

Shemalya:  From this day forward you shall be known by your true name – Zor-Ek.  You shall be my instrument of destruction.  You shall be mine. . .