Mr
Duer,
My name
is Arnold Zybasco and I'm one of the chief astronomers here at the University
of Zanthos. I'm emailing you with some news of grave importance.
I was
using the telescope at the university to study the outer rim of our
stratosphere, when I saw the space based headquarters for the two teams
participating in this year's Universe Bowl. As this "sport" really
holds no interest to me, I paid them no mind and continued my research.
Suddenly,
the stars began moving in a very peculiar fashion, and the sun seemed to get
closer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an explosion. Oddly enough, all the
stars seemed to be converging on the battlefield of the FFL. I switched over to
our satellites view, at no small cost I may add, and what I saw shocked and
horrified me.
It's as
if the planet itself had attacked the combatants and slaughtered them all.
There were bits of bodies, spacecrafts, and weaponry everywhere. I saw what I
believe is a "Star Sapphire" struggling in vain to fight the
gravitational pull that was pulling her into our sun.
To say
this is unprecedented is an understatement. I don't know what could be causing
this, or why, but I feel it imperative for us ALL that we immediately cease
this event and end all affiliation with the Fantasy Fantasy League. Clearly,
there has been a balance upset here, and if we don't stop it now, we all may
suffer the consequences.
I have
already sent reports of my findings to the various GMs, coaches, and Watchers
of the "FFL" but none seem to be interested in what I have to say. I
even included a list of the casualties of this phenomena culled from footage
taken from our satellites and identified by various colleagues who follow this
barbaric sport. The fallen are:
Kitties:
- Vitar
-Vampire
Nick Houslander, Ewok #56, Peeta Mellark (w/Jarnborn (Thor's Axe) and Smurf 7
-Larfleeze
-(Kingdom
Come) Power Woman
-(Kingdom
Come) King Marvel
-(Kindgom
Come) Lady Marvel
Midgets:
-Blue
Lantern Hal Jordan
-Black
Lantern Ryan Poteracki
-Boba
Fett
-Aayla
Secura and R-2 unit #3
-Star
Sapphire #2
Please,
Mr Duer. Please save us all.
Thank
you for taking this threat seriously,
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