The Empire Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

Week 5 Consortium
The Empire Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

The Empire is Galactus w/ Nova, Silver Surfer, Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor, Sky Lynx, Obi Wan Kenobi in his Jedi Starfighter, Surtur, The Eradicator, Ares, Mephisto, Deathstroke, Black Queen, The Incredible Hulk, White Lantern Swamp Thing, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael, Pinhead, Xerxes (cymek), and Thinking Machine #1-3.

The Sith Aids are Darth Vader and 501st #1 in a First Order TIE Fighter, Darth Bane (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), Savage Oppress & Feral, The Rancor, Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano in a First Order TIE Fighter, Darth Nihilus, Cad Bane and Director Krennic in a First Order TIE Fighter, White Suit Anakin Skywalker and Starkiller in a First Order TIE Fighter, Pre-Suit Darth Vader, 501st (Vader's Fist) #2-10, Storm Trooper #1-10, The Fallen, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzamachi, IG-88, The Dino-Bots: Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, Swoop, and Dinobot, Captain Rex, Death Trooper #1-10, Podracer Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala in a First Order TIE Fighter, Sharkticon #1-3, Snow Trooper #1-10, Velociraptor #1-9, Utah Raptor #1 & 2, and Jedi Youngling #15.

Week 5 Democracy

TEAM Vs. Better Than All of You

TEAM is Superman, Superboy, Unicron, Primus, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Loki (w/ Sceptre and Space Stone), The Collector (w/ Reality Stone), Beta Ray Bill, God Emperor Leto II, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Ms. Marvel, Trygon, Joe Levine w/ Kelly and Abby, General Grevious w/ Magnaguard Droid #1 & 2, Kefka, Mike Tyson, and The Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop) in a tank.

Better Than All of You is Mogo, Ego, Metroplex, Cosmic Spider-Man, Exitar the Exterminator, Trinity in a Stealth X-Wing, Morpheus, Dark Phoenix, The original X-Men: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Archangel, Ice Man, and Beast, Agamemnon and Juno (cymeks), Red Hulk, Red She-Hulk, Black Panther w/ Shiri, Okoye, Nakia, and M'Baku, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage (w/ a Power Ring), Predator #15 (final life), and Red Dragon #2.

Week 5

-800 Points on The Play-Off Planet
-Prizes: A Hammer Bros. Suit, A Black Lantern Ring, 327 Nubian.
-Death Match

Match-ups:
-TEAM Vs. Better Than All of You (Democracy)
-Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Be Gentle it's My First Time (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Josh)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. The LGBTQ Friendly Persons of Inadequate Height (Ed)
-The Super Orange Kitty Sisters Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Chris)
-The Empire Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Consortium)

Season X, Week 4: Better Than All of You vs The Empire

Better than all of you is: Mogo, Ego, Metroplex, Cosmic Spiderman, Exitar the Exterminator, Trinity and Morpheus in a Stealth X Wing, Dark Phoenix, Archangel, Agamemnon

The Empire is: Galactus and Nova, Silver Surfer, Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor, Sky Lynx, Obi Wan Kenobi w/ Obi Wan’s Star Fighter, Surtur, The Eradicator, Mephisto, Deathstroke, Ares, Black Queen

The Silver Surfer and Kyle Raynor scan the vast cosmos of the Milky Way. Nearby, the lifeless remains of the rest of The Betters and their Empire teammates float aimlessly on a sea of nothing. Raynor, recently exhausted, is now refreshed after besting Mogo and draining the planet of its lifeforce. It wasn’t an easy task but with the assistance of Galactus and Nova, who helped before Dark Phoenix and Exitar defeated them, the job was a bit lighter.

He senses Ego, their last opponent still very much alive and in relative closeness only four light minutes away. As the Silver Surfer follows Raynor into battle, Radd has time to reflect on the monumental task still at hand and begins to doubt his abilities to help. He shakes off the feeling and returns his focus to the present.

The Surfer feels the shock wave hit him as Raynor and Ego smash into each other at velocities nearing the speed of light. Naturally, he is amped and crouches low on the deck, moves to the rail of his board and rides that gnarly wave crest before kicking out to check on his teammate. He can see that the collision has knocked them both unconscious and also has torn a hole in the fabric of space where the tiniest of black holes is starting to form. As the Surfer races closer the he can feel the pull getting stronger as the maw begins to widen, ready to devour them all. He gets to Raynor and tries his hardest to surf out but the pull begins to slow his progress until he is not only halted but starts to pull backward.

Raynor regains consciousness and immediately recognizing the predicament they find themselves in. Finding the only source of matter nearby, a recently awoken Ego who is unable to slow his descent into the black hole. Raynor aims his ring directly at Ego and with all force he can summon, directs a beam of energy that powers the two of them out of unforgiving gravitational hold while burying Ego in the bottomless void.

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

Be Gentle it's My First Time is Black Goku, Jedi Knight #1-3 in 3 A-Wings, Plo Koon in The Scimitar, Poe Dameron & BB-8 in a Stealth X-Wing, Jedi Knight #4 & 5 in 2 B-Wings, King Ghodira, Dr. Fate, Steppenwolfe, The Terrorcons, Black Atom (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), The Z-Fighters led by Goku (w/ a Green Lantern Ring), The Colonial Marines, Dr. Strange (w/ a Time Stone), Wong, and Mako (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring). The whole team is in a Guild Ship captained by Kahn.

The Super Orange Kitty Sisters are Abeloth, Supergirl, Powergirl, Polaris in a V-Wing, Scarlet Witch in a V-Wing, Hades, Blackfire, Starfire, Arsenal and The Red Hood piloting Count Dooku's Ship w/ Daisy Duck, James Vietch in an Autobot Exo-Suit, Baby Ewok #4-5, and Space Trooper #1-5, Tomar Tu, Darth Traya (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), Athena, and Shockwave.


The enormous Guild Ship hovers in the Milky Way with the entire Be Gentle Squad aboard fully prepared for battle. Though the ship is immobile without a Guild Navigator aboard to work the Holtzman Engines, the stationary ship functions as an excellent Space Fortress. The Super Kitties have no other option but to go on the offensive, despite having no idea what lies within the walls of the massive space-folding ship.

Dooku's special Genosian built solar sail ship piloted by flying ace Arsenal is at the center of the attack formation, being flanked on each side by a Kryptonian and a V-wing containing an X-Man (actually X-Woman) on each side. The rest of the team hangs slightly back following the lead of Abeloth. The Super Kitties begin to formulate a plan of attack, but before they can, Captain Kahn sends out his first wave. As both the east and west end entrances of the gigantic Guild ship open, the entire fighter ship fleet of seven led by Poe comes out the East side and King Ghodira, The Terrorcons, Mako, Steppenwolfe, Black Atom, both the Gokus, and the rest of The Z-Fighters exit on the West side in an attempt to completely surround the Super Kitties.

The carnage begins:....

Shockwave transforms into his massive cannon form and mounts himself to the side of Scarlet Witch's V-Wing. With his first mega-powered blast, Shockwave completely obliterates Tien Shinhan. But the Z-Fighters waste no time getting revenge. Piccollo and Krillin fly in fast and each punch a big hole into a thick piece of metal. In Piccollo's case it was into Scarlet Witch's V-Wing, disabling the ship (though Scarlet Witch ejected away from the site). For Krillin, his massive punch went directly into the center of Shockwave, destroying the spark of the veteran Decepticon. Gohan and the two Gokus find themselves locked in an evenly matched battle of certified Universe Destroyers as they engage with the massive, fanged Abeloth. King Ghodira clips the wing of Polaris' V-Wing causing her to eject from the exploding ship. The massive three-headed Kaiju is unharmed by the fierce outer space conditions, but he is having trouble moving himself with his wings. Though not moving quickly, that doesn't mean that the monster is easy to kill, even when double-teamed by two Greek gods. Athena and her uncle Hades leap onto the beast and begin to pound on him with a vengeance. Hades manages to rip the center head off of Ghodira, but it just enrages the rest of the monster. His right head goes in for the kill and swallows the god of the Underworld whole. Athena then uses the death of Hades as a diversion as she plunges her sword into the heart of the now two headed Monster King to finish him off. Athena, now floating freely in space, is not moving around as well as the Super Saiyans. She launches her sword with amazing strength to take out Chiaotzu from a distance, but by disarming herself she then falls victim to attacks from Yamicha and Bulma. The Terrorcons merge to form Abominus but Scarlet Witch, who is now floating by on a small asteroid with her sister Polaris uses her mystical mutant powers to pull the gestalt back apart. As the five monster Decepticons find themselves separated and confused, Polaris then puts them back together; but not neatly like they were before. The daughter of Magneto crushes the five of them together with her mastery of magnetism and then to add insult to injury includes the sparkless carcass of her teammate Shockwave to the clump as well. Sweating in her space suit and pushing her powers to the max Scarlet Witch looks over to her sister and worriedly asks what she plans to do next. “MAKE AN ENTRANCE” Polaris yells as she sends the enormous clump of Cybertronian metal into the side of the Guild ship creating a huge hole.

As the majority of the fighting begins moving towards the Guild Ship, Black Goku, Green Goku, and Gohan are still battling Abeloth. The Mother of Mortis bites the head off of Gohan and grabs a hold of Goku and Goku with her two hands. Abeloth summons all the Force power she can muster in an attempt to absorb the essence of the two powerful beings in her grip. But before she manages to finish them, the two Gokus use all of their African-American and Climate Justice powers to ensure that the Galaxy's greatest Force user joins them in death.

As some of the members of the Be Gentle squad start to worry once they see the gaping hole in the side of their Guild Ship, Kahn, confident in his team's defenses simply says: “Let them come, it is only their destruction that awaits them”.

Poe takes aim at Dooku's ship taking out their rear engine, but Arsenal manages to crash land the ship inside the Guild Ship which dwarfs the vessel in size. The Kitties squad scatter as they are instantly met by the defensive forces of the Gentles. Darth Traya and Tomar Tu swoop into the Guild Ship to lend some back-up to their fellow Kitty Sisters. The Five Space Troopers move out of the crashed ship first with excellent military precision, but they are quickly mowed down by the Colonial Marines who have them covered from an elevated position from the scaffold like girders of the Guild Ship's launching area. The Space Troopers return fire, but only manage to take out Dietrich of the Colonial Marines before the Troopers are all killed.

Poe gets on the com telling his squadron to “lock S-Foils in attack position”. He plans to lead his crew back towards the Guild Ship to lend a hand to his teammates; but doesn't realize that The Kitties still have quite a bit of firepower on the outside of the ship too. Polaris and Scarlet Witch float over on Asteroid P and do a little sister teamwork on the pilots. Scarlet Witch dizzies the minds of a few of the Jedi, while Polaris causes one of the B-Wings to crash into one of the A-Wings. This worked almost too well, but before they could duplicate the attack, Plo Koon takes the Scimitar out of Cloak and blasts Asteroid P with an Advanced Concussion Missile incinerating the two X-Men. The remaining members of the Z-Fighters fly in fast to join the fight; but they are cut off at the pass by Blackfire and Starfire. Even more Sister team up love takes place as the two expert space fighting Tamaranians take out Piccollo, Yamcha, Yajirobe, and Bulma with a flurry of laser eye blasts and building leveling punches. They save Krillin for last so they can make several midget jokes before they crack his neck. Starfire and her sister Blackfire, move their attention towards the ships who set their sheilds to the front and lock onto the two Tamaranian targets. But that isn't the girl power duo they should have been most worried about as both Supergirl and Powergirl fly in from behind at speeds that even these stunt fighters can't attain. The Kryptonians take out the two remaining A-Wings and last B-Wing with concentrated heat vision blasts and each deliver a punch to Plo Koon's Scimitar to send it out of control. Poe target locks Starfire with a proton torpedo and perfectly makes the shot; but Blackfire, Supergirl, and Powergirl converge on the Stealth X-Wing and rip it to pieces before rushing back to the Guild Ship to help out their fellow Kitty Sisters..... Unless of course it is already too late.....

Tomar Tu gave everything he could in his one on one fight against Dr. Fate, but even after he completely drained the power of his green lantern ring, it wasn't enough to win the fight. Dr. Fate held off the lantern and then easily finished him with a mystical blast to the head once his green energy aura had diminished. Mako takes aim at The Red Hood with his Yellow Lantern Ring, but Daisy Duck screams “NOOOOOOO” as she jumps in front of him and takes the blast for her buddy Jason Todd. The angered Red Hood avenges his Duck friend as he pumps Mako full of lead from his high-powered pistols. James Vietch is transformed into car form in his Exo-Suit with two crazy Baby Ewoks riding on him. He goes crashing into the Colonial Marines. The Marines open fire, but the Autobot weapons systems take out several of space force. Private Hudson takes out Vietch with a machine gun blast; but the explosion not only kills the comedian and his ewok friends, but several of the Marines as well. Only Hicks, Hudson, Apone, and Vasquez remain.

Both teams converge near the engine room of the Guild Ship as the final remaining powerhouses square off. Dr. Strange and Wong surround Darth Traya. But the Sith Lord uses the Force to send two purple lightsabers into the chest of Wong. Strange opens up the Eye of Agamatto on Lord Traya and manages to overpower her despite her intense mastery of The Force. Traya goes down, but her red lantern ring channels her Sith Rage and spews red vomit energy all over Dr. Strange to leave this fight survivorless.

Sgt. Apone sets up a great defensive posture, but Arsenal and The Red Hood have studied military positioning far too well in their years under Batman and Green Arrow. The two former sidekicks, take out the last four Colonial Marines with ease. Kahn uses the diversion of the Marines and his post-human superior speed to sneak up behind the Red Hood; but Arsenal turns at the last second and puts an arrow through Kahn's eye socket.

Supergirl and Steppenwolfe are hitting each other with wall-busting punches, while Black Atom is getting double-teamed by Blackfire and Powergirl. Red Hood and Arsenal are leaping around wildly with amazing melee moves, but are finding themselves outmatched by Dr. Fate.

Black Atom perfectly combines his mystical powers with yellow energy powers to completely blast Blackfire into mere molecules.

Arsenal and The Red Hood send every bullet and arrow they have at Dr. Fate; but he blocks them all and crushes the two humans with two enormous crates from the Guild ship.

Supergirl blocks every punch that Steppenwolfe sends her way and brings a closed double fist down on the head of Darkseid's soldier, snapping his powerful neck.

Powergirl witnessed the enormous display of power from Dr. Fate and flies in fast to avenge Red Hood and Arsenal. She tackles Dr. Fate and takes flight with him in her arms. They fight wildly as they both fly into the Holtzman engine blowing the Guild Ship to bits and killing both of them in the massive nuclear explosion of the engine and ship.

Destroyed debris and two combatants float around the area, when the final two make eye contact. Nothing but space garbage is in sight for thousands of miles when Black Atom and Supergirl lock eyes. Black Atom hits Supergirl with a punch that would make a skyscraper fall, but the Kryptonian comes right back at him. Black Atom charges up his yellow lantern ring for a blast, but Supergirl hits the ring with a potent shot of heat vision to destroy it. Black Atom and Supergirl both fly at each other with every bit of power they can muster and each deliver their most powerful possible punch to the face of their opponent.

Supergirl is bruised and battered floating in space unconscious for hours, when she wakes up next to the body of Black Atom and comes to realize that......

TEAM Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

TEAM is Superman, Superboy, Unicron, Primus, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Loki (w/ scepter & Space Stone), Beta Ray Bill, The Collector (w/ The Reality Stone), Titan #1-2, Ms. Marvel, Sith Acolyte John Zacharski, Dr. Robotnik, Robot Sonic, and Autobot #1-4.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids is The Fallen, Grimlock, Slag, Swoop, Sludge, Snarl, The Predicons, The Pretender Monsters, Darth Bane (w/ a Red Lantern Ring) in the Darth Vader Transformer, Darth Vader in his TIE Advanced, Anakin Skywalker in a TIE Interceptor, Ahsoka Tano in a TIE Interceptor, Pre-Suit Darth Vader in a TIE Interceptor, Darth Nihilus in a TIE Interceptor, 4-Lom in a TIE Interceptor, Chop Shop, Venom, Ransack, Barrage, and Sharkticon #1-2.


Unicron and Primus each position themselves on the two far ends of the Milky Way. The two brothers haven't spoken in many million years, but after being put on this team and both started together, they have decided that they would not battle each other, but instead let the lesser beings competing against them choose which side of the Solar System they would die on.

Lord Vader, the prize pilot of The Empire leads his entire squad as one uniform squadron. Ahsoka comes over the com, stating that she heard they have enormous robots on TEAM that crush and devour planets. Vader retorts: “The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of The Force”.

Vader continues: “Stay with me and we will destroy them ship to ship”.

Vader and his crew begin a massive strafing run on Primus, when some of TEAM's counter-measure forces emerge from the massive Planet-Transformer. The two Titan Cymeks in full space-battle mode blast Barrage and Ransack with massive lasgun blasts melting them into scrap, but the other two Deluxe Insecticons double back to seek revenge for their partners. The two large Insecticons land on the ancient robots with human brains and eat away the metal until the brains are exposed and killed, though Titan #2 was able to trigger a nuclear self-destruct counter-measure, which ended the two Insecticons as well.

The Starchild comes into the scene, seemingly out of nothingness. He appears directly in front of the Black V-Wing containing the original Dark Lord of the Sith and creator of the rule of two Darth Bane. Bane ejects from the ship and takes flight with his red lantern powers, while his V-Wing transforms into a massive robot version of Darth Vader. Ms. Marvel shows up to even the odds and help out Dave Bowman, but she isn't as useful as Ed hoped she would be when he thought he was picking Captain Marvel in the draft. She uses her over-sized fist to put a good sized dent in the side of Trans-Vader (Ya know, Vader when he self-identifies as a Decepticon (don't judge)). But Trans-Vader sends his massive lightsaber missile through Ms. Marvel to make short work of her. Bowman uses his cosmic abilities to negate The Force power of Lord Bane and revert both of them back to human vulnerability. They stand as equals, but Bane's Red Lantern ring kicks in as a last line of defense and coats the former astronaut with red energy. Darth Bane begins to regain his bearings, but in his weakened state is no match against a Hammer to the face from Beta Ray Bill.

The Dinobots have landed on the surface of Primus, who has decided to continue to lay dormant against a threat he views as insignificant at best. The five Dinobots led by Grimlock begin to focus on one small area of the massive Transformer. While they bite, stomp, and attack the apathetic Transformer God, Loki takes control of the feeble minds of the two Sharkticons and laughs mischievously while he forces them to eat each other. He then attempts to make The Pretender Monsters do the same, but before he can, The Predicons merge to form Prediking and destroy the Asgardian with their massive sword. The Pretender Monsters then merge to form Monstructor and the two gestalts team up to easily wipe out all four Autobots as well as The Collector, Dr. Robotnik and his henchman the Sonic Robot. The two gestalts, though absolutely enormous on earth are then brought in by a huge claw extractment on the side of Primus that pulls them inside and sends them to an incinerator within the depths of the metal monstrosity.

Beta Ray Bill clips the TIE Interceptor of Darth Nihilus, causing him to crash land on the surface of Primus. Lord Nihilus escapes the Imperial ship and finds himself face to face with the young Sith Acolyte John Zacharski. The two of them both ignite their crimson lightsabers but before they duel, John speaks: “Lord Nihilus, I have studied your art well. Let us drop our allegiance from these two teams. If we were two join forces, you as Master and me as your apprentice we could rule not just TEAM and The Sith Aids but the entire league”.

Nihilus contemplates, but says: “You are not worthy. I will prove my loyalty to The Sith Aids by making an example of you here and now”.

Nihilus then begins the process of his soul-sucking insta-kill which has never been evaded by any opponent, and moves towards Zacharski. Lord Nihilus moves with amazing speed and accomplishes his kill on Zacharski, but shockingly looks down to see that John was able to use The Force to actually see the attack before it happened and deliver his own lightsaber into the chest of Darth Nihilus. Forcing the man who could have been his master to die as well.

Superboy lands on the ship of 4-LOM and punches a hole into the cockpit. Superboy, then effortlessly grabs 4-LOM out and rips him in half. The Fallen flies in in Jet Form and begins to blast Superboy, but Superboy is able to take flight and avoid the shots. The jet then turns into robot form and grabs a hold of the young Superman clone. The Fallen applies several million pounds of pressure on the body of Superboy to crush the life out of him, but almost as if he was squeezing it out of him, Superboy uses the last of his power to slice The Fallen in two with a beam of heat vision to extinguish his spark.

Unicron, from the other side of the Solar System begins to realize that the threat of The Sith Aids was far more than he had thought and starts to make his way over to the other side of The Milky Way........

Superman, who had originally been stationed over with Unicron arrives on the scene well before Unicron does. He sees Vader, leading Anakin, Anakin/Vader, and Ahsoka in a standard two by two formation and flies in to break it up. The Skywalker offshoots all scatter, but Ahsoka and her ship are blasted to pieces by Superman. The Darth Vader Transformer comes back into play and grabs a hold of his massive missile like a lightsaber. He swings the house-sized saber at Supes, but the Kryptonian dodges the attack, doubles back around the Transformer and then blasts through the chest of the robot leaving a lifeless chunk of metal in his wake.

“ME GRIMLOCK STILL HUNGRY” The Dinobot leader exclaims to his friends, despite making a hole in the side of Primus the size of a semi-truck. The Dinobots continue their chaotic attack, when Primus finally decides that he has had enough. Primus is considering transforming into robot form for the first time in several million years, but he instead diverts thruster power into laser force field projection and melts Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Swoop, and Snarl where they stand.

Although, Primus and his TEAMmates, have no idea that the Dinobots attack was not simply a chaotic last ditch effort against the massive Transformer Planet, but a well thought out military plan from Lord Vader himself. Primus thinks himself very invincible as Vader, Anakin, and Anakin/Vader set up their next attack run.

But just when you think one enormous transforming robot is too much to handle, a second one always seems to show up. Unicron, in full robot mode shows up and sends an enormous blast towards the three ships attacking his brother. The two shieldless TIE Interceptors are destroyed, but Vader in his TIE Advanced is able to take evasive action and avoid the attacks of Unicron. Vader flies around the side of Primus, disables his targeting computer and places a perfectly aimed proton torpedo into the hole in Primus, that he had instructed the Dinobots to create.

The blast cause a huge chain reaction inside the large sphere....

Primus explodes in a massive fireball.

The blast disables Vader's TIE, forcing him to eject and land on the back of Unicron, where he is met by Superman.

“An impressive light show you brought us today”. Superman says as he slowly approaches Vader.

Vader chooses to not retort, as he force pushes Superman back about ten feet. Superman is shocked, but bounces right back. Vader knows that this is a long shot, because after he kills Superman he will still have to deal with Unicron and any other stragglers; so he wastes no time moving in for the attack. Superman backtracks in flight and hits Vader with some heat vision, but Vader blocks it with his freshly ignited lightsaber. He then force leaps at the Kryptonian, but his control in space is nothing compared to Superman's flght abilities. Superman is able to move out of the way of his attack and deliver one solid punch to destroy the integrity of Vader's suit and end the fight.

Week 4: The Striders of Rohan vs. The Politically Correct Cult of Shrinky Dinks

The Striders of Rohan are: Kylo Ren in a TIE Silencer, John Stewart, Captain Marvel, Odin w/ White Lantern Ring, Wolverine w/ Red Lantern Ring, Adam Warlock, The Guardians of the Galaxy (Star Lord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Raccoon, Groot, Nebula, Mantis, Yondu, and Kraglin) in Star Lord’s ship, Red Lanterns #1-2, Cyborg Superman, Hancock, Jedi Master #1 in Anakin’s Starfighter, T-2 and T-3 in First Order Command Shuttle, Admiral William Kelly in a Stealth X-Wing, Supreme Leader Snoke with Xenomorph Aliens #1-15 and Jedi Masters #2-8 in The Executrix, Circuit Breaker, and Goblins #1-3.

The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People are: Magneto, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Larfleeze, Omega Supreme, Sinestro, Han Solo with Chewbacca, Peppy Hare, and Ewok #9 in The Millenium Falcon, Starscream, Ganthet, Sayd, White Lantern Batman, Lando Calrissian with Nien Numb, Lobot, and Ewok #10 in The Outrider, Star Fox in an Arwing, Star Wolf in an Arwing, Air Zonk w/ Power Dump and Astra, and Mighty Mouse.

The Milky Way: Home to such celebrities as Bruce Willis and Bill Nye. Such beautiful locations as the Grand Canyon, The Moon, and the grave of Hitler’s racehorse in Louisiana. But what IS the Milky Way? Believe it or not, very little of it is made of milk at all! It’s a galaxy, our galaxy in fact, and it gets its name from the bands of milky white stars visible from afar on the earth’s surface. Up close, however, it just looks like tons and tons of black space with shiny polka dots. Tonight, the usually peaceful glimmer of stars is replaced with distant explosions and streaks of multicolored light tearing across the night sky, leading many on our humble planet to round up their guns and get into the makeshift bunkers full of canned asparagus. It wasn’t a sign of the end times, but rather a fierce battle raging between our two teams of formidable space fighters.

The two fleets approached each other at the Mars-Jupiter borderline. The Striders were undeniably the more imposing force, with almost twice as many ships and a strong handful of supporting forces to boot. Despite the diminutive size of The Little People, they brought a lot of strength in a small package.  Floating on an asteroid a good distance from the frontlines, Mr. Mxyzptlk was trying to teach Ganthet and Sayd to play a game he brought. “So basically, we all pick where the ships move at the same time, then after they move we have a battle phase”, he explained. His opponents, Ganthet and Sayd, were visibly frustrated. “Okay, but I don’t understand all these little pieces and symbols. What am I supposed to do with the dial again?” Mxyzptlk shook his head and chuckled. “I’ll give you guys a hand since you’re beginners. See the choice with the arrow going straight and the number 5? That’s gonna move you toward your enemy the fastest.” They each chose this option and set down their dials, as Mr. M put down a pair of dials with curving arrows. As the dials hit the table, The Guardians of the Galaxy in the Milano began to fly rapidly toward the enemy lines, along with the T-2 and T-3 in the Command Shuttle. As they charged, the Millenium Falcon and The Outrider came around from flanks in a pincer attack, and together they blew through both Striders ships before either could launch an attack of their own. Sayd sighed, “Mxyzptlk, you’re not such a great teacher. That was a cheap trick.” The Interdimensional Imp laughed, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I gave you the enemy ships, then!” Suddenly, Cyborg Superman burst through the asteroid, flinging the broken Guardians of the Universe into space. “Mxyzptlk, of course. Sorry to crash your little game night.” Mxyzpytlk scoffed. “Oh, do your worst, you’re not even the real Superman.” CyberSupes firmly clamped his hand around the Imp’s throat, and he slapped Superman’s metal shell with a feeble swipe. Mxyzptlk’s lifeless body was thrown to the ground, but the point of his final slap had begun to rust, and crumble, and spread across Cyborg Superman’s body until he fell apart into a pile of rusted scraps and decaying meat.

Back at the main scene, the bewildered crews of the Millenium Falcon and Outrider wondered how their vehicles took off on their own and executed such a well coordinated attack. They didn’t stop to wonder long, though, as the entire Striders fleet rushed out toward them The Executrix was quick to blow Lando and his Outrider apart, but the Millenium Falcon was evading Kylo’s TIE Silencer and Jedi Master #1 in Anakin’s Starfighter. From behind them, Fox McCloud and Wolf O'Donnell rolled up in their Arwings and shot down Jedi Master #1. They had their sights on Kylo’s TIE, but a Stealth X-Wing came from nowhere and took them both out first. “Surprise, fagknuckles!” cheered Admiral William Kelly from the cockpit. As the remaining Striders chased down the elusive Falcon, the shipless masses of the battle were still locked in battle. Air Zonk, Power Dump, and Astra had blasted away the Goblins on the Striders side, and Red Lantern Wolverine wasn’t pleased with that. “HEY BUB, YOU SUPPOSED TO BE SOME KNOCKOFF MEGAMAN?” Air Zonk began to reply, but Logan simply screamed a blast of burning red bile onto the trio, dissolving them instantly. High above, the Millenium Falcon had managed some rather impressive maneuvers and taken down the Executrix. Captain Marvel, Odin, and John Stewart joined together and rushed the ship, busting through the final spacecraft threatening their team. Meanwhile, the final two spacecrafts on the Striders side were circling around in search of easy prey to pick off. They found their prey in Omega Supreme, but Starscream reacted quickly and retaliated against William Kelly’s Stealth X-Wing.

Kylo Ren skirted the edge of the battlefield. The remaining forces of each team began to group up, two distinct clusters of immense power waiting to clash. As they rushed to the fight, Kylo made a charge to strike his foes from behind. He landed a killing blow on Mighty Mouse, but the moment he fired, he turned the head of Magneto, who crumpled the Silencer to an unrecognizable mass and chucked it to drift through space. Larfleeze and Magneto stood side by side, lobbing suppressing fire at the enemy ring-bearers. Circuit Breaker crept up behind Starscream and broke his circuits with great aptitude, before White Lantern Batman batted her out of the playing field. He then returned his focus to his teammates. Wolverine had grown tired of hiding back from the barrage of light projections, and he charged their lines. Chunks blew off of him enraging him further, until he pounced on Larfleeze in a flurry of blades and teeth. By the time Magneto twisted Logan’s bones and peeled him from Larfleeze, there was little left to recognize of Agent Orange.

Magneto, Sinestro, and White Lantern Batman stood alone for The Little People. Adam Warlock, Hancock, John Stewart, Captain Marvel, and Odin had them surrounded. “Damn it all!” Sinestro snarled. “We were the superior force! The sheer incompetence is disgusting.” With a grimace, Magneto said, “It does appear we’re outnumbered.” White Lantern Batman, solemn and dignified, spoke up. “Life has a funny way of surprising you. Life gives, and life takes. Let me give you a little life while I’ve got some left.” He cast a bright white bubble around his teammates, shiny and hard as a pearl. He faced the remaining Striders of Rohan and charged his ring, glowing brighter and brighter, until it cracked and shattered from his hand. His body burst apart, erupting into a gigantic swarm of searing white bats, rolling over the Striders and burning them out of existence.