The Underhills: Blue Wizard #1, Radaghast the Brown w/ Green Lantern Ring, Arwen Evenstar w/ Hadafang, Star Man and Blue Lantern Ring, Sauron w/ The One Ring, Aule, Yavanna, Ori, and Ent #4A
Geyneighbors from Outer Drive: Optimus Primal, BOB w/Frenzied Flame, Flambae, Moon Knight, Irmo and Este, Treebeard, Bill and Hillary Clinton
What a beautiful setting to kick off the season in week two, where we get back to conventional FFL following the blast of a week one event that was the baseball match from Comerica. I have a SUITE overview near the top of the battlefield, where there’s a continuous rain of golden leaves showering the gorgeous, enchanted atmosphere that is the Lothlorien Forest. I can faintly hear a violin soundtrack echoing through my head, fading in and out concurrently with the sun shining into my booth, glistening off my super-shiny commentating microphone.
Everything is gracious as my eyelids start to fall, but just as I see a dark leaf in the crowd of golden, I am jolted awake. The two teams proceed through this queue, led by Bob and Sauron, with more leaves turning from gold to ash. A forest reserved as a haven from the darkness has now folded in on itself, with the embodiment of evil and the devil of the Lord of the Rings realm entering the landscape.
Several members from both teams start to sob; the demonic hammers of this hell that the Lothlorien Forest has transformed into are reaching their crescendo. The heroes of Middle-Earth: Radaghast, Blue Wizard #1, Arwen, Aule, Yavanna, Ori, Irmo, Este, Ent #4A and Treebeard are experiencing the end of the world in the most brutal way imaginable.
I’ve never seen anything like this in my short career of watching, both teams having unprecedented levels of evil that are working together to make a transformative battlefield. The sobs and screams of agony die out with the souls of the great soldiers of Middle-earth, having their stories completed and their souls sucked out from their bodies.
And just like that, they’ve turned to gray and then to ash.
Wow…
The pain and agony appear to be nightmare fuel for Sauron and Bob.
Bob’s stature isn't as tough and intimidating as Sauron’s, but he’s used the quick deaths to fuel his engine and kick-start the frenzied flame to evolve into a rival of the dark lord. In the meantime, he’s also absorbed flambae as a supercharged battery for the frenzied flame, showing his willingness to pay the full price for salvation: coming out of this match with a win.
Bob, Optimus Primal, and Moon Knight stand on the opposite side of a thick stretch of fire separating them from Sauron. Bob takes a few steps back and directs his two teammates towards the dark lord. In a running start, Moonknight takes a piggyback atop Optimus Primal’s broad, giant cybernetic shoulder and in one huge lunge, Sauron and the left fist of Optimus Primal meet in a giant BOOM!
Moonknight follows the clash with a leap off the steep shoulders of Primal, coming down with his crescent-shaped blades on top of Sauron. Sauron meets this attempt with an easy parry and a ten times as lethal riposte to the midsection of Moonknight, piercing him with his mace and making a joke out of his lousy attempt. Primal pounds his fists into the ground and moves to retaliate. Although Primal dwarves Sauron, his power could be far from outmatched. Sauron and Optimus Primal go pound for pound with quick, booming jabs that, in turn, send waves of wind that only help the hellish atmosphere grow stronger. Optimus Primal’s stamina is starting to dwindle, and Sauron is takes advantage of it, taking his mace out and hitting him with several detrimental shots to the cranium.
Bob’s smile is sinister, and Sauron’s nature is nonchalantly deadly.
“Through the dark of futures past, the magician longs to see what makes you itch, you wanna play with fire, BOY!” Bob yells at Sauron.
Sauron squints and sees the Clintons flashing in and out of Bob, serving as his host.
“You’re in no place to call me boy, you’re nothing without a host, you’re no Dark Lord.”
“And you’re nothing without that ring.” BOB replies.
“At this realm's end, through your embers dream, the flames engulf these golden trees, FIRE WALK WITH ME!”
Bob, in totality, uses the frenzied flame to disintegrate the one ring and, in turn, brings upon a shower of lava that buries both of them into the depths of the forest that has never been reached before, sending them into a realm of unconsciousness.
Banishing themselves for the evil they’ve done, Sauron and Bob end this skirmish, joining each other in death, lying in a dark, abandoned room of red curtains and uncertainty.
I lay here in my suite, unsure of being terrified or ecstatic by what I just witnessed. But what I am sure of is that I see a glistening, ascending rainbow from the pile of obsidian and ash that has replaced the forest. In one hand, a blue lantern ring radiating a protective aura, in the other hand, a star man with an upbeat jingle, and in the middle, tears of sadness and rejoice falling from the face of Arwen Evenstar's triumphant body.
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