The Underhills are Bizarro Superman, Matrix (Supergirl), Neo (w/ 2 blue lightsabers), Parasite, Mogo, Larfleeze, Atrocitus, Jessica Cruz, Arwen Evenstar (w/ Starman & Blue Lantern Ring), Spider-Man (w/ a green lantern ring), Miguel O' Hara (w/ green lantern ring), (Legends) Leia Organa-Solo (w/ Indigo Lantern Ring), Punisher (w/ red lantern ring & purple lightsaber), Microchip, Percy Jackson (w/ green lantern ring), Aule (w/ green lantern ring), Green Lantern #4A, Excalibur: Captain Britain, Meggan, Shadowcat, Phoenix Nightcrawler, Lockheed, Widget, & Kylun, Omega Supreme, The Episode IV Death Star, Rooster in a B-Wing, Hangman in a TIE Bomber, Starkiller in a T-16 Skyhopper, Bossk & Greef Karga in a Twin Pod Bespin Cloud Car, Revan Reborn, Darth Talon, & Sith Maruader #1-5.
Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are Black Lantern Supergirl (w/ The Infinity Gauntlet, Power & Time Stones), Vampire Darkseid, Orion, Kalibak, Desaad, Lashina (w/ Red lantern ring), Black Lantern Shazam, Vampire Juggernaut, He-Man & Battle Cat, Black Lantern Ganondorf, Optimus Prime w/ Roller & Combat Deck, Obi Wan Kenobi, Saint Walker, Dante, Diddy Kong (w/ Maula Pistol), Neo Cymek #1-7, Vito Corleone (w/ blue lantern ring), Michael Corleone (w/ green lantern ring), Usagi Yojimbo (w/ Indigo Lantern Ring), Poseidon, QWSP, The Episode VI Death Star, Erasmus, Lucas (w/ awesome cloak, ring, & crown), Ness, Paula, Poo, & Jeff (in The Hulk Buster Ironman Suit), Fall Guys #1-10, USS Defiant under the command of Captain Sisko w/ USS Defiant Officers #1-3, USS Defiant Crew #1-3, Lt. Commander Data, & Quark, Qira, L3-37, Snoopy, & Woodstock in The Millennium Falcon, Cade Skywalker in a Stealth X-Wing, Rebel Pilot #3 in Cubs Fan Han's TIE Slicer, Rio & Kamek (w/ PS-5 Controller) in an Avenger's Quinjet, & Red Robin (w/ 2 ninja swords) on a JLA Super Cycle.
PROLOGUE
They both had the same plan.
Two teams. Same plan. That's what makes this so messy.
Mutually assured destruction. That's what we used to call it in the 1980s. Ronald Reagan was right about that. This match proves his point. Again: That's what makes this so messy.
They both thought they could get it done before the other squad. They were both successful. Not so much in the Ronnie Reagan definition this time though, more like the Don Trump sort of success.
That's why we reset it. That's why us Watchers couldn't let them kill over a billion people again, like The Underhills did in Week 5 against The Madhouse. That's why we couldn't let these two teams just blow up the whole Playoff Planet again. The rules have been slightly changed. Although both teams had the plan to get their entire squad off planet and then blow up The Playoff Planet, these two Death Star wielding teams have both been warned that the destruction of The Playoff Planet will result in their immediate disqualification. In order for either of these squads to win the day, they must have boots on the ground on The Playoff Planet itself. This may prove difficult as both teams have completely removed themselves from the planet, thinking it would soon explode; which is why the vast majority of this match will take place in space. That's what makes this so messy.
Keep in mind that there is no Outer Space here to speak of. The Fantasy Fantasy Playoffs exist in a closed system, blocked off from anything else. So, the space they have to work with is relatively small when it comes to what is typically recognized as "The vastness of "Space"". That also means that the two Death Stars and everyone else involved in this match are relatively close to each other. That's what makes this so messy.
The smaller Death Star is being commanded by Excalibur, Leia, Frank Castle, Microchip, Percy Jackson, Arwen, Revan, & Lord Talon. The larger Death Star is being commanded by The Earthbound Crew, Poseidon, Qwsp, Master Kenobi, Usagi, Erasmus, The Corleone's, & Diddy Kong. Both Death Stars are warming up. Everyone else is out there free floating and looking for a fight. That's what makes this so messy.
Pretty boring beginning; but the action is about to commence. I realize it is a bit oxymoronic to describe "space" as close quarters; but there are some real heavy hitters out there.
Now let's get this started:
Wasting no time jumping into action, Vampire Darkseid pulls a Parasite on Parasite and physically drains his essence, powers, abilities, and lifeforce as a real vampire from the energy vampire. Darkseid's henchman fly through the cosmos into battle next but do not fair quite as well as their Ruler. Atrocitus out powers the red energy abilities of Lashina with a one shot, and then teams up with his frenemy Larfleeze to take out Desaad. Kalibak enjoys a pitched battle with the blue lightsaber wielding Neo; but despite his superior physical strength comes up short against the Chosen One who, with some extra added superhuman oomph uses the kyber crystal aided sabers to relieve the big Apokoliptian of his head. Orion, on the other hand makes his estranged vampire Dad proud by proving that girl green lanterns are overrated. He blasts Jessica Cruz to pieces without even slowing down his astro-force harness. Black Lantern Supergirl engages in a brutal battle with the equally strong Bizarro, while Black Lantern Ganondorf, who has taken quickly to his new black lantern ring hits Miguel O' Hara, who still hasn't really mastered what his green ring is about with a wicked blast of magical energy to vaporize him into the nothingness of space. While the now enraged, Gauntlet wielding BL Supergirl finishes off Bizarro with a back and forth flurry of punches and heat vision, Aule teams up with two other green ring wielders, Spider-Man and GL #4A to take out all ten Fall Guys with no casualties.
Mogo was deserving of so much more than a one shot death for his nine death appearance. But this match simply has two many heavy hitters to show them all the love they so deserve. But as the Episode VI Death Star warms up it takes aim at the single most powerful being in this match. One problem with being an all powerful, living planet, fueled by a massive amount of green lantern energy is that you are a very easy target to hit. The full blast from the Death Star takes out Mogo just like it was designed to do. Now, what many people do not realize or understand, something that even many Star Wars nerds do not realize is how much larger the second death star was in comparison to the original. Almost three times the size of the original with not only more power; but many more options for destruction as well. With that being said, that also does not mean that the first Death Star, the very Death Star that destroyed the entire planet of Alderaan is not powerful enough to destroy the secnd Death Star. This is exactly what went down as the larger Death Star was recharging after exposing its location after destroying Mogo. A sense of overwhelming doom from The Force came to Kenobi after Mogo was destroyed, Erasmus predicted this through an intense mathematical, computer algorithm, and QWSP foresaw it through the 5th Dimension; but all these warnings were not enough to get everyone off of the imploding Death Star in time. Only Kenobi and Jeff in his HBIMS were fast enough to escape in a physical fashion. Kenobi through the only used escape pod, and Jeff through the air lock, given that he had a means to survive and navigate space. QWSP managed to teleport Poseidon, the ring bearing Corleones and Usagi, as well as himself out successfully. He attempted to bring Poo along as well; but he did not have a spacesuit causing him to fall victim to the oxygen-devoid environment. The rest of The Death Star 2 Crew: Lucas, Ness, Paula, Erasmus, and the ship's Gunner Diddy Kong all fell victim to the destruction.
Two explosions like my fabled Watcher eyes have never witnessed. But there is more destruction yet to come.
Dante, in a fast, yet also heavily armored with heavy firepower Cymek body has a versatile methodology for attack; but he cannot seem to keep up with the ever transforming Omega Supreme who keeps switching back and forth between his rocket and robot modes. Omega hits the Titan Cymek with a massive plasma blast from his hand mounted cannon. Both squad's sets of fighter pilots and craft hold back from moving into attack speed as the dust clears from the first round of destruction; but Indigo One does attempt to make a telepathic attack on Leia from outside the Death Star to appeal to her darkest tendencies; but Leia foresees the evil afoot and quickly removes her Indigo Ring, throws it into the air and slices it in half with her lightsaber, saying: "Not today Dark Side". While this is going on, the undead maniac duo of BL Shazam and Vamp Juggs make extrememly short work of the five Sith Marauders. More of a pitched battle takes place between Matrix Supergirl and He-Man. He-Man has her when it comes to strength and with the Power of Greyskull he has no problem surviving space; but he is having some trouble with maneuverability. Matrix gets a hold of Battle Cat by the neck and with a massive show of strength, breaks the neck of the empowered Cringer to send Prince Adam's Mount to The Graveyard; but the bloodlusted He-Man quickly returns the favor when he snatches Matrix out of the airless space and rips her in two.
There are certainly some skilled pilots and well put together craft for The Underhills, but they are a bit outgunned by The vehicles of The Horsemen led by Sisko in their flagship The USS Defiant (but we should not forget that The Underhills still have a Death Star). Rooster banks left in his B-Wing in an attempt to separate the convoy surrounding The Defiant; but The Horsemen are well trained and are reluctant to take the bait. The Falcon, who picked up Usagi free floating out in space and placed him in the ventral gunner spot and who is now being piloted by Red Robin who parked his JLA Cycle in the cargo hold considering that Qira doesn't know how to fly as stated clearly in the one movie she is in stays close to the flagship (L3 do be a great co-pilot though). Kenobi and Jeff both caught a ride as well and are helping out in The Quinjet. They hang back as well as Sisko instructs them via com to allow The Neo-Cymeks to do the heavy lifting and be the first wave. The first two Neo-Cymeks are being ridden by Optimus Prime like a pair of Roller Skates while he berates the incoming craft with shots from his blaster rifle. #3 & #4 are carrying Combat Deck creating, quite a well armed attack vessel, and Roller who is somehow hanging on with his wheels. Hangman joins Rooster as his Wingman and manages to get behind Neo-Cymek's #4-7 to take them out with a combination of advanced concussion missiles and proton torpedos (bye bye Roller (R.I.P.)). Starkiller then manages to not only blow Combat Deck to pieces with a perfectly aimed shot at Neo-Cymek #3, but also blasts both of the Neo-Cymek's out from underneath the feet of Prime. But, once Optimus rights himself, he is able to take aim and bullseye Starkiller's T-16 before he could loop back around. My boy Chuck, AKA: Rebel Pilot #3 takes advantage of his ship's superior mobility and blasts Bossk and Greef to bits; but Hangman gets behind The Tie Slicer and gets some Underhill revenge. Rooster and Hangman then engage The Falcon and The Quinjet but are not able to take out the two larger ships. Their smaller craft take too much damage and eventually succumb to lasers fired by Snoopy and Woodtock in the front Gun and a wildly autistic firing style of Kamek controlled by PS-5 technology.
While Poseidon is leading a first wave attack on The Death Star, Vampire Darkseid has teamed with his Apokolis brethren and BL Supergirl to take on Larfleeze and Atrocitus who are being led by The Chosen One himself, Neo. BL Shazam and Vamp Juggs on the other hand are off on their own acting exactly like one would think an unsupervised, undead child/Retard Duo would be expected to act. As immature and moronic as the two of them are, they still have taken to the space setting and their new power enhancements better than Spider-Man has to his green lantern ring. This is evidenced by how easily they squash said Spider. Atrocitus brings some momentum back towards The Underhills as he shows that brains and brawn are better than just brawn as he happily rages out on Kalibak, coating his bludgeoned body with red plasma vomit. Atrocitus then once again teams with Larfleeze to stop Orion in his tracks ripping off not just his Astro Force Harness; but his limbs as well. Vampire Darkseid is once again displeased to see citizens of Apokolips killed; but more than anything his own son. Darkseid, bares his teeth and bites deeply into the neck of Larfleeze decapitating him and then crushing the spine of Atrocitus with a wicked back-breaker. Neo moves in against Darkseid next and a pitched battle ensues. Neo leaps inside the body of Darkseid and begins to break him apart slowly on a molecular level. Neo reemerges out of Darkseid's body and delivers both lightsabers into his exposed heart to finish him off; but right before Darkseid dies he releases Omega Beams from his eyes that jut out in every direction, reconverge with each other and begin coming back at Neo in full force. Neo, pulls the pair of lightsabers from Darkseid's falling husk and then does the impossible. He uses his lightsabers to block The Omega Beams and then actually not only stops the beams in their tracks but actually dissipates the attack and absorbs the power. Neo is alotted no time though to enjoy a feat that was thought to be impossible as Supergirl flies in fast to get in on the action. They spar evenly for quite a while, until Supergirl falls back to prepare a full frontal assault. Neo, once again takes on a defensive posture with his lightsabers drawn; but this time, even he can not hold back or absorb a Kryptonian level blow from a black lantern fueled, power stone, Infinity Gauntlet smash. He-Man has caught a ride on Saint Walker's blue energy aura as they confront Aule. Aule and Saint Walker engage in an elegant form of mental and energy combat that leaves Saint Walker on the losing end of the spectrum of power. So, instead of attempting that type of battle again, He-Man just punched Aule's head off the old fashioned way. Gannon runs in to GL #4A and makes short work of the Corps member with his Black Lantern Ring. As previously mentioned Poseidon is leading the first wave attack on The Death Star, but that is even more difficult than it sounds. For, Omega Supreme has transformed and set up his entire space station format in a defensive form on top of The Death Star. The massive Autobot stands ready for anyone or anything that will threaten the integrity of his squad's home base. Poseidon quickly finds that his first wave of soldiers is not enough. Poseidon, QWSP, Michael, and Vito move in pretty swiftly; but are no match for Omega. The Corleones are a brilliant and devious bunch; but despite their green and blue lantern auras protecting them in space, they are very much out of their element. Space just isn't their scene as they are both swatted out of the vastness like flies by Supreme. QWSP doesn't fair much better as he is coated by laser plasma. Poseidon retreats back a little ways to regroup with the others before they try to step to Omega Supreme again.
As all of the remaining Horsemen regroup and begin their assault on The Death Star and its guardian Omega Supreme, a conversation amongst the Underhills command crew begins inside of the battle station. Princess Leia speaks to her fellow Underhills saying: "I know that most of us are not exactly outer space fighters; but we are going to need to get out there and help defend this station. Omega Supreme is tough; but he can't hold off The Horsemen forever. He is going to need our help. For those of us who can pilot a ship, there are some short range TIE Fighters aboard that we can move out in. They aren't easy to fly, so be careful. In my opinion, the members of Excalibur should stay here and operate The Death Star, while the rest of us get out there in spacesuits if necessary and take the fight to The Horsemen".
Captain Britain chimes in saying: "We don't all need to stay. I can definitely help out out there and we would be crazy to leave Rachel inside". Kitty should stay here with a few other people".
The room begins to stir and it seems like a disagreement is about to take place, when Frank Castle speaks up loud enought o be heard: "If we leave Microchip inside with Kitty Pryde, along with Widget, he can hack into the computer and the other two are smart enough to run the defenses and keep The Death Star going as a skeleton crew, while the rest of us go out and fight. Now let's stop wasting time and make it happen".
"All Horseman, this is Captain Sisko. Focus all firepower on Omega Supreme; and"........
"WAIT"!! Interupts Rio from The Quinjet. "We got company!! It isn't just Omega Supreme anymore".
"Scatter the forces Horsemen!! Bogies EVERYWHERE"!! Sisko says changing the orders.
Arwen, no space suit necessary due to the blue lantern aura from her ring protecting her pulls Hadafang from its sheath and then promptly bites off more than she can chew from the unstoppable Juggernaut who does not slow his roll at all as he crushes the elf; but before she goes down, she is aware of the problem a few of her fellow teammates have just run into. She flings her Starman buddy to Punisher who catches it and goes invincible for a short time. Optimus Prime, who had just ran over top of Kylun is shocked to get a barrage of red lantern fueled bullets and bazooka blasts from The Punisher, who then finishes off the Autobot leader by running right through him before his star power runs out (I think he even turned into a turte shell). Percy Jackson is squaring off against Poseidon in what looks like an underwater battle as they move fluidly through space. In fact it looks a lot like a fake NASA video made for boomers where they are actually underwater but pretending like the astroNOTS are actually in space. Percy in a space suit has definitely got some moves; but he can't quite hang with the King of the Sea whose ancient god makeup does not require any sort of suit. Poseidon sends Percy flying with a kick to the chest and then quickly catches back up to him and delivers a trident into his chest. Revan and Darth Talon, both in short range TIE Fighters square off in a dogfight with The Milennium Falcon and The Quinjet. Neither of the Force Wielding TIE Pilots are successful; but it is unsure if they survived the experience as they both hit their pod Eject buttons. Jeff, bravely uses his Hulk Buster Ironman Suit to carry out the original plan and he gets some good hits in on Omega Supreme; but Omega uses his size to overpower the earthbound character and crush the suit beyond its usefullness. Black Lantern Supergirl clips the side of Leia's TIE Fighter causing her to Eject as well. Good thing she can survive in space and fly around as evidenced in The Last Jedi (just kidding, we aren't ghey here; she is in a space suit). Phoenix, Meggan, and Lockheed team up on BL Shazam. The fires of the Phoenix Force and the cosmic breath of Lockheed are enough to take out Captain Marvel; but the godlike powers of Meggan are destroyed by Shazam before the Excalibur members take him out. Nightcrawler, flying the last remaining TIE Fighter, unleashes a fury of lasers on He-Man; but The Eternian flings his axe at the ship to destroy it. Nightcrawler "BAMFS" out of the ship and attempts an attack on He-Man from behind; but He-Man uses the sword of Power to quickly relieve the mutant of his head. Captain Britain takes flight and begins doing battle with Ganondorf. The battle seems quite pitched at first; but Britain using his powers of Arthurian mysticism are not quite enough to take out the black lantern until Revan and Darth Talon show up to lend a hand with both sides of the force and some lightsaber work to end Ganon for good. Omega Supreme is beginning to slow down. Jeff in the HBIMS managed to do a little damage; but the real damage has come from a full frontal assault by The USS Defiant. Quark pours them drinks, while Data gives the Autobot "everything she has got". The damage is permanent; but Omega isn't done fighting yet, as he transforms into tank mode and blasts The Defiant into pieces with three well aimed blasts.
Kenobi hates flying and is tired of riding shotgun in The Quinjet. He puts his spacesuit back on and hands the co-pilot reigns back to Kamek. Kenobi leaps into action with his blue lightsaber drawn and moves towards both Revan Reborn and Darth Talon. This may seem like a tough scenario for the Jedi Master; but as it turns out Sith Lords are his speCIAlty. He uses his Force mastery to quickly take out Darth Talon, not even realizing that she was the apprentice of the first Sith Lord he had killed and then uses his superior Form 3 technique to take out Revan as well. The Millennium Falcon and The Quinjet converge on The Death Star Guardian Omega Supreme to see if their firepower can take out the massive Transformer that so many have failed to do thus far in this match. The two ships take heavy damage from Omega but while working together they begin to see him falter. Red Robin finally ejects his own JLA Cycle, loaded with weaponry out of the cargo hold and into the chest of Omega which serves as the final blow to Supreme. The Falcon and the Quinjet, heavily damaged from their battle attempt to regroup; but both ships are taken out by The Death Star's Turbo Lasers. The Punisher is tough as nails, even without his red lantern ring and massive arsenal; but it isn't enough to stop The Unstoppable Juggernaut. Leia finds herself outgunned when both Supergirl and Poseidon approach her. Organa-Solo, despite her mastery of The Force and her brilliance in battle strategy is not powerful enough to survive the confrontation; but she does manage to slice Poseidon in half at the waste and make sure the two halves stay detached with a Force Push into space. Rachel Summers blasts He-Man with a potent dose of Phoenix Force. When the smoke clears, He-Man realizes that he is being hit with a barrage of punches from Captain Britain that could knock down a skyscraper. He-Man grabs his Sword of Power and unleashes a firestorm of magical energy on Capt. Britain to finish him off, while he simultaneously grabs Lockheed by the throat and breaks his neck. But the bruised and battered He-Man, a champion of the day does finally succumb to another cosmic blast from the new age Marvel Girl.
Cade Skywalker, a man who has been relatively silent this match is drawn to an action that no person has ever told him to do. A voice through the force immitating muscle memory has told him to fly down a specific trench of the space station just like his Great Great Grandfather had done in a very similar ship. The Force Ghost of Luke Skywalker speaks to him and tells him exactly when to fire his proton torpedos. But it is a little messier this time..... Yes. The Death Star does explode; but under the command of Kitty Pryde, it had already unleashed every counter-measure that The Empire had built in. A move that the arrogant Grand Moff Tarken was unwilling to do. Cade pulls up after he makes his shot; but the countermeasures and explosions take out not only Kenobi and Juggernaut on the surface; but also Rachel Summers, whose death causes a rupturing of The Phoenix Force which takes out Cade's Stealth X-Wing as well.
Back on The Play-Off Planet the citizens have frighteningly watched the massive explosions from space as this battle has raged on. Beyond scared; but thankful that for once this battle did not ravage their planet with death and destruction. In Town square they watch a few moments after an explosion that dwarfed the battle signs they had been wathing for the past few days as a single figure descends from the Heavens. A red and blue boot from a solitary figure touches down on the street; and this bloody contest finally comes to an end.
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