S11 W8: TEAM vs Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

TEAM is: Wheel Jack, Hound, Sunstreaker, Hubcap, Cliff Jumper, Earthworm Jim, KC Munchkin, Mr. Methane, Jack Artrip (w/ Raccoon Leaf) and Ewok #7

Assassins are: Grandmaster Luke Skywalker, Legends Leia Organa Solo, R2D2, C3PO, Dakka, Aragorn, Ahsoka Tano (Fulcrum), Elf #6-20, Orc #1-16

The first wave of the attack is from the Assassins as they send the bullet catchers in first to do their damage. All the Elves and Orcs along with Dakka are led by Aragorn into battle. As the horde closes in Mr. Methane casts his “Fog of War” spell and clouds the forest in the remains of last night’s burrito dinner. The two-team battle and as the scent clears, only Aragorn, who stands atop the disabled corpse of Hubcap, survive from the Assassins first wave. Among the heaps of dead, Earthworm Jim and KC Munchkin are riddled with elf arrows and Mr. Methane and Ewok #7 had their heads ripped off by an orc.

Jack Artrip safely flew into a tree with his racoon leaf just before the attack started. He did not do this out of self-preservation, he simply saw a branch in the tree that reminded him of a wooden pickaxe from Minecraft and had to check it out. Then when he got up there, he completely forgot that he was here to battle and just stayed in the tree daydreaming thinking about his two favorite things to do: playing with Legos and leaving the light on in his bedroom.

Wheel Jack, Hound, Sunstreaker and Cliff Jumper stand remaining for TEAM.

“Perhaps you would like me to communicate with them, Master Luke? You know I’m fluent in over six mill—” C3PO suggests.

“No thanks, Threepio.” Says Luke dismissively. “I think we got this.”

Luke, Leia and Fulcrum ignite their Lightsabers while R2 beeps and wobbles annoyingly until he falls over in the uneven terrain. Before Threepio can help Artoo back up, the jedi trio have disabled Wheel Jack and Hound. The transformers try their hardest and they shoot rockets and stuff but they are only able to defeat Aragorn with a missile blast and Leia by a big metal boot that pounds her into the Endorian terrain.

Luke looks up at the Artrip child singing carefree on a tree branch and then back over to Ahsoka.

“I’m not my father and you aren’t your Master.” Says Luke. “I say we let this youngling live.”

The Assassins transport out of the match as night begins to fall and Luke is happy with himself for sparing the life of an innocent. However, had he known that nighttime on the forest moon of Endor is when the feral Ewoks come out to feed, he might have given the young boy a more merciful death than the long and painful one that was about to endure.