Week 8: Gender Neutral Misunderstood Little People vs Barkley’s Turrible Decision’s

Little Peeps: Rick w/ a Red Lightsaber, Morty w/ a fireflower, Harambe in an AT-RT, Predator #1A-2A, Vampire Predator, Zombie Predator, Neo w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Bat-Mite w/ 6th Ring of the Dwarf Lords, Black Lantern Batman, Lando Calrissean and Lobot in F-14, and Zombie Green Lantern

Barkley: Artemis, Pan, Treebeard, Yaddle, and Skeletor

We’ve got two polar opposite teams here, one with a lot of characters while the other goes for a more minimalistic approach of less people but heavy hitters. Nonetheless a good matchup.

Barkley takes the lead with a bold statement from the goddess of the hunt. Artemis calls upon the wild animals of the forest, and in a stampede Rick, Morty, and Bat-Mite are trampled to death while two arrows from the bow of a goddess meet the spinal cords of Vampire and Zombie Predator. Harambe (RIP) makes quick friends with the wild animals and tells them that the humans will kill them one day, so they turn on Artemis and shred her to pieces like a Thanksgiving dinner.

We then pan (I’m sorry, I couldn’t not make the pun) over to Treebeard attempting to talk to the trees. I don’t think he’s aware that they don’t talk like him, he’s not in Fangorn Fore-- oh my god the trees are moving. Guys it’s just like that one scene from the Two Towers where he finds all the trees burnt down and all of a sudden a whole army of trees comes out of nowhere and starts messing the place up. Harambe’s AT-RT is smashed to bits along with the F-14 because they were blowing shit up and catching fires everywhere. While Neo is going ham on some trees with his two whitelightsabers, Yaddle, a true Jedi master, shows him how to properly use these laser thingys and slices and dices Neo. Although it was not before Neo landed a fatal blow to Treebeard.

Yaddle moves on and messes up the two Predators real quick while then throwing her lightsaber through the body of NIghtsister Acolyte. Now without her lightsaber, Asajj strikes from behind and ends the long life of Yaddle.

As we move through the battle, we actually come upon Pan, not a pun this time. He again summons the forest’s decomposers and they feast on the dead flesh of Zombie Green Lantern. Pan then plays some rustic music from before time itself and it is so boring that it literally kills Asajj, although Batman is of course unfazed. Batman moves toward the god of wilderness and snaps his neck over his knee.

Skeletor, who has been silent throughout the battle, realizes it is just himself versus Batman. Batman makes for a quick attack towards the weird skeleton playing with his hands. To the demise of Batman, he is unaware that this whole battle Skeletor has been building up dark magic and has had just enough time to now vaporize Batman.