George Washington's House Elves Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

George Washington's House Elves are Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Sgt. Slaughter w/ Taurus, Red Dog, & Mercer, The Predi-Alien, & The Paw Patrol: Ryder, Chase, Marshall, Rubble, Zuma, Sky, Rocky, Everest, & Tracker w/ their Vehicles.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are: IG-88, Scout Trooper #1-10, The Ninth Sister, Firelord Ozai, Maxima, Daenyrus Targaryen w/ his Dragon, Unsullied #1-10, & Dengar.

ITCHA BOY, The Neon Master Pogo here. Haven't got much chance to watch this year what with that draconian, totalitarian, effeminate, Bruce Jenner-lookin jerk that has us all freaked out about everything constantly in our faces. No, not Gretchen Whitmer, I'm talking about Joshatu the Butthurt. Anyways..... That's enough groaning, it's time to flush this turd.

Firelord Ozai does some serious bending of fire and of the land of Oz; not sure which one he is a master of; so I'll give him both powers. Either way, it's May the Fourth and I gots to give that love to Star Wars; so Luke blocks it with his lightsaber, absorbs it with The Force, and spin attacks Ozai silly Fo Keeps Dawg.

Dengar is all like: I was only in Star Wars for like five seconds; but I'm awesome; and Mercer is like: I was only in G.I. JOE for like five seconds; but at least I had a speaking role and killed him.

The Unsullied found Red Dog to be Sullied; so they: Honestly I don't know what I am talking about right now; so everyone mentioned in this paragraph just died.

The Predi-Alien joined the scene, and I instantly started projectile vomiting because it is basically the grossest thing in movie history. Luckily, Maxima is much tougher than I, and in lieu of projectile vomiting punched its head off instead.

The Scout Troopers are all like: “Wow, it's so quiet here on Endor. All the Ewoks must be obeying the stay at home order, too bad we are essential and have to come to work”; but then Han looked at Chewie in a totally non-gay way and was like: “Yo Chewie, we have gotten out of way more difficult situations than this”; and they start shooting first like a couple of bosses ten times straight until the Scout Troopers are all dead.

Daenyrus Targaryen and his dragon show up and it is really apparent from the start that Dude and his Dragon are wicked awesome. I mean, I didn't do any research or anything; but I know for sure: Wicked. Awesome. They are flying around being all like: Look how awesome I am. And then the Paw Patrol roll up on their vehicles.... Now, I know that y'all are just gonna say that I am lazy and don't feel like looking up these characters; but I assure you it is far deeper than that. My intention is really just to put Mr. Artrip into an existential quandary. You see, because I am just going to say that Rubble was in trouble and Chase was on the case and that they totes road their vehicles all up in here and that they won the skirmish and Chris is going to be thinking about how awesome Game of Thrones is and that I won't give it the proper love; but at the same time he'll be like: Yeah, bruh Paw Patrol is my team: REPRESENT. Well, anyway The Paw Patrol were victorious, but dude and his dragon managed to eat, or slice, err blow fire, or whatever they do on all of the Paw Patrol Pup except for Tracker who is my favorite, much to the dismay of my children who know I am crazy.

IG-88 shot Sgt. Slaughter and he died.

Taurus was a better swordsmen than The Ninth Sister; but lightsaber > Saracen Sword all day, every day; so the Inquisitor was victorious over the JOE Renegade. Luke on the other hand was better and had the same kind of weapon; so he managed to take her out.

Luke, Han, Chewie, Mercer, and Tracker squared off against IG-88 and Maxima to wrap everything up. Maxima and Luke became locked in an extremely epic, old-fashioned, Becks-style Pitched battle that could easily have been stretched to a page long conflict by a better writer; whilst Han blasted IG-88 directly in his central core. And then, in a full explosion of uncreativity; but also in a simultaneous shout out to The Mandalorian and not-so rock solid proof that I really did look at these teams intensely and have a rough time deciding who the winner should be: The IG Bounty Hunter Droid triggers his self destruct and destroys every non Canine in the bunch. Tracker marks his territory and puts out the fire with his urine.

Cuz that's how we do it on Endor Peeps. And. We out.