Week 8: Turrible Decisions vs Empire

 Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: Flash (Wally West), Venom (Flash Thompson), Batman Who Laughs, Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho, Paul Atreides “Maud Dib”, Captain Ginyu, and Balrog #1-3

Empire of Evil Midgets: John Constantine, Ancient One, Murbella, Starfire, Mercutio w/ Force Saber, Gold Dragon #2, and Insecticons: Bombshell, Shrapnel, Kickback

Ahh, here we are in Gerudo Town. Let’s get inside and take a break before this match starts. Wait a minute… only women are allowed in the town?? That’s gotta be sexist, no? Oh great, so they’re letting in The Ancient One, Murbella, and Starfire, but no one else can enter. This is bullshit. Now I have to sit outside with the rest of these idiot men.

Not long after, these dummies start bickering at each other, of course, until eventually they start full on fighting each other. They can’t just hang out as bros for ten minutes? It’s an all out battle, every man for themselves. I thought they were supposed to be on teams, but they obviously gave up on that one. Murbella and Starfire see the fighting outside and decide it looks fun, so they go to join in. The Ancient One, unamused, stays in the town to meditate.

It’s a bloodbath out here, it’s hard to keep up with how fast people are dying. The Flash is going lightspeed and rips apart Mercutio, Captain Ginyu, John Constantine, and Murbella before hitting one of the insecticons which still decimates Bombshell, but it slowed the Flash down enough so that when he ran into Shrapnel, the Flash got obliterated. Meanwhile, Duncan Idaho is going blow for blow with the Batman Who Laughs. Each connecting punches while also blocking many. They are even enough in skill so that they go fighting for so long that eventually they both fall to the ground from exhaustion. At the same time, Starfire sends a blast that destroys Shrapnel and Kickback, who both fall backwards onto Duncan Idaho and the Batman Who Laughs.

Switching over to the beasts, Gold Dragon #2 is taking on all 3 Balrogs. Gold Dragon #2’s metallic coat is helping keep defense up against the might of 3 balrogs, long enough so that Starfire jumps in to fight two of the Balrogs. This leaves one Balrog to Gold Dragon #2, which is simple enough for him to defeat. Starfire is struggling to keep up with both Balrogs and is meeting defeat, but not before she makes her last ditch effort. She emits a blast powerful enough so that it vaporizes herself, but also the two Balrogs and Gold Dragon #2.

All that stands in the field is Venom, waiting for the Ancient one to make her appearance. She calmly walks to the front gate, sees venom as the last standing and opens a portal and closes it on Venom, swiftly killing the host body, Flash Thompson. She stands alone amongst a field of death and wonders if her living is truly a victory. Little does she know, Paul Atreides had dressed like a woman and snuck into the town, only to sneak up to the Ancient One and stab her in the back.