Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. Gross Pooper Star Miley Cyrus and Soon to be Supreme Court Justice Barack Obama's Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos

Real Man's Rabble Rousers are Black Lantern Sunstorm, Slugslinger and Caliburst, Flywheels, Trigger Happy, Bluestreak, Non, Tiffany: The Bride of Chucky (w/ star sapphire ring), Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man, Baby Pac Man, Kryptonian Army Soldier #13-16, 19-20, The Anti-Monitor, Star Sapphire Wonder Woman, Red Lantern Mera, Turbo, Odd Job, Goldfnger, Darth Nihl, CIA Agent: Bryan Mills, and Vampire Count Dooku.

The Commandos are Iorek Byrninson, Lyra Belacqua w/ Pantalamion, Will Perry w/ Kirjava, Olivia Moore, Clairy Fray, Dora, Boots, Backpack, The Map, Katy Perry, Hannah Montana, The Mikaelson Family, Martian Manhunter, Faora, Ewok Child #9, Human Bomb, Dark Phoneix, Zombie Nichol Valdez, Thanos, Sin Eater, Foolkiller, Equinox, Grimlock Prime Rex (w/ the Autobot Matrix of Leadership), The 2002 Detroit Red Wings, Doozer #9, Boil-Over Becks, and The Space Jockey, all in a Cybertronian Spaceship.


Sup y'all!!!!!! How we doin?!!? This is your homeboy The Neon Master Pogo comin atcha for some Week 1 Action!! This ripped out piece of notebook paper that Joshatu the Stuffy gave me says Week 4; but that crap must be a typo. Cuz I know they didn't start the season without the Pogester taking the reins. Although it did seem like the other watchers lost my phone number or something for a while there, and my paychecks do keep bouncing... But either way let's get to some Week whatever it is SPACE ACTION!!

It always seems like so much fun to be on The Commandos. Especially at the beginning of the match. They have a nice big ship to party in. Everybody is laughing and carrying on. They are drinking egg nog even though it isn't Christmas and it looks like some people are playing yahtzee in the corner. Not the Red Wings though, ya see they have their own private rink right here on the spaceship. They run free clinics for those that want to learn, and play pick up games against all comers (all in fun of course). Sure, there are a few sticks in the mud like Thanos and Sin Eater; but for the most part it is just a bunch of fun-loving liberal minded, good-looking people, hanging out, discussing climate change, Marx, and micro-aggressions when some aggressive jerk squad always has to roll up with an actual aggression (phewy).

Luckily, Dora “No Rest for the Wicked” The Explorer and Boots are up in the cockpit doing their due diligence when they spot incoming. “BOOTS!! Go warn the others, we are on full alert. The Rabble Rousers are here”.

Boots quickly moves from one side of the ship to the other, navigating through the many corridors until he is certain that the whole team prepare for battle. Beginning with Hannah Montana and ending on the other end of the ship with Foolkiller, whom they will not let get close to Hannah for obvious reasons. Boots then doubles back to the cockpit so he and Dora can mount a counter-offensive.

The Anti-Monitor, makes his presence known while he remains stationary near The Commandos Cybertrnian Spaceship; while Vampire Count Dooku, from inside Black Lantern Sunstorm does the first strafing run and, leads the Rabble Rousers in their onslaught.

Back inside the ship Clairy Fray is rallying the forces on the ground, while Dora shifts the shielding mechanisms on the ship. The Shadowhunter Clairy redraws her runes in preparation and knows that this will be her last stand. She mostly knows this, because she has nine deaths and has been largely ignored by all the watchers for the entirety of her over two season career. I mean, let's be real here. Who is going to research every obscure character that Nick insists on off-listing every year. WELL I AM DAMMIT!! YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. I, The Neon Master Pogo vow to not only focus on Clairy Fray today and make her a cornerstone of this story; but to also heavily research and include every young adult book character, TV show character, retired athlete, barely famous kid of actors, or reality TV star that Nick plays. Because dammit he deserves to have these characters written. So while I watch Clairy Fray rile up the troops with her young and naive yet driven personality, I am going to grab this pen and paper and sign a contract to always include the characters that Nick and others request or draft off list, because gol-darn-it those are the characters they want to read about most. OH CRAP!! MY PAPER!! A hole was blown in the side of the ship by Slugslinger and Caliburst and my pen and paper were just sucked out of the airlock..... Along with the entire Mikaelson Family, Olivia Moore, Lyra Belacqua, Will Perry, and their daemons....... IT'S CRAZY how that happens.

Prolly they will use some amazing power to save themselv..... Oh, nope they just got eaten by Pac-Man and his wife and kid. Too bad.

Anyways........

With the hull of the ship breached and the oxygen wavering all hell is breaking loose. It's pretty much like that scene from Airplane where the topless chick with the big boobs jumps on the screen for no reason, accept in this scenario the topless crazy chick is Miley Cyrus.... And it's disgusting.

So, the alien: Black Lantern Sunstorm bursts through the chest of The Space Jockey, even though he was just sitting in a really big chair minding his own business.

Slugslinger and Caliburst were just crushed together by Grimlock who said something new and original like: “Me Grimlock crush you”. Flywheels and Trigger Happy tried to avenge them; but Grimlock just got all crushy on those two too.

As you may have guessed, Human Bomb blew up, and he took Bluestreak with him.

Non and Faora started fighting like Kryptonians always do; but it wasn't as fun as usual because neither of them have a S on their chest or look like Dean Cain. They have the same exact powers; but obviously Non was winning because he's a boy and Faora is a girl (it's science). But then the scales were tipped in Faora's favor when Martian Manhunter joined the fight. Non was then killed once the two of them over-powered him with power that was over his.

Clairy Fray pulled out her white magical lightsaber thing and did some really cool kicks and such. She looked really pretty and tough and stuff too. Very feminine, yet very strong at the same time. A truly great character, who I know a ton about. Don't think I just exhausted all my knowledge on her just now. I could write so much more, it's not even funny. So she totally cut the crap out of The Bride of Chucky and then still had time to call her vampire friend who isn't her boyfriend on her cell phone and text her boyfriend, who is her brother but not really her brother.

Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man, and Baby Pac Man decided to get in a contest to see who could shove the most hot dogs in their mouths with Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus. Naturally, Katy and Miley won by a significant margin so the Pac family went in suicided themselves out of shame.

Ewok Child #9 was riding on the back of Iorek Byrninson as they valiantly attacked the entire group of Kryptonian Army Soldiers and then promptly died.

Thanos led a contingent of Dark Phoenix, Sin Eater, Martian Manhunter, and Faora out of the ship to battle The Anti-Monitor. It looked like it was gonna be pretty scary; so I stayed inside.

Star Sapphire Wonder Woman killed Zombie Nichol with death.

Red Lantern Mera stepped on Doozer #9. Boil Over Becks then got a funny feeling in his pants as soon as he saw Mera in her crustacean bikini. It was unstoppable. She asked if he wanted her to take him to the doctor; but he died of dehydration before she could.

Mera and Wonder Woman then went to watch the Red Wings practice. They went nuts waiving banners and consuming popcorn and draft beer. The Red Wings then went out with the two of them afterwards, and bought them Miller Lites on special along with shots of Fireball then took them to a cheap Motel room and cheated on their wives with them. It was fun. Then Wonder Woman and Mera killed them all, because this still is a match; but at least they have the story.

Turbo, everybody's favorite Go-Bot ran over Equinox, to prove that Go-bots were equally as cool as Transformers........ Good luck with that Turbo.

Foolkiller shot Goldfinger and then Odd Job hit Foolkiller in the neck with his hat. Clairy Fray in all her awesomeness then leapt out and stabbed Odd Job before he could catch his hat. As the hat came back, she deflected it with her light blade thing and sent it in to the head of Darth Nihl, before Bryan Mills eventually used his particular skills to send a bullet into Clairy and send the epic Commando to the graveyard once and for all.

Grimlock is taking aim at Sunstorm; but can't seem to hit him when Dora and Boots leap out from the rafters and grab onto the bottom of Sunstorm. “maybe we can draw him into Grimlock's line of fire” Dora yells.

“WE CAN DO IT DORA” Replies Boots.

“Boots, can you reach inside backpack, I have a charge in there”?? Says Dora.

Boots then holds on to the bottom of the ship with his his tail, reaches into backpack, grabs the charge, gives it to Dora, and Dora throws it into the side wing panel of Sunstorm. It throws him off course just long enough for Dora and Boots to let go and yell: “Grimlock: NOW”. Grimlock takes aim and blast him out of the sky blowing up the decepticon and forcing Dooku to eject. Dooku flips out on to the ground and lands directly in front of Dora and Boots. “Well, child. You thought you could play with the big kids, ehh”. Says Dooku as he opens his crimson lightsaber and begins slowly walking towards Dora and Boots.

Dora opens up Backpack and grabs her and Boots lightsabers out, which are then immediately ignited. Dora looks terrified as her and her monkey best friend slowly back up into a nearby corridor, matching. Dooku step for step on his approach. “Child, do you honestly think you and your monkey can match my saber techniques”?? Asks Dooku.

Dora retorts: “No sir.... I never thought that for a second...... BOOTS DUCK” As she screams this they both duck as the corridors laser defense system kicks on and blasts Dooku to pieces. Boots laughs as Dora says: “I did think I could get you to walk right into flesh-being detention block though”.

As the Kryptonians and deputy lanterns rush back out of the ship to help the Anti-Monitor, the battle still rages on outside. The Commandos have managed to keep the Kryptonians at bay; and eventually take them out one by one; but it has become apparent that The Anti-Monitor is not going to go down without something drastic happening. Especially once Thanos was blown apart by The Anti-Monitor. Martian Manhunter had devised a plan that he knew would work but with heavy casualties. The last surviving Martian flew back to the Cybertronian ship, into the cockpit and took control. He gave the order to anybody who could get out to do so; but when Grimlock and his wife Katy attempted to eject, they were destroyed by Mera and Wonder Woman right before those two were finally blasted to pieces by Faora's heat vision. Miley Cyrus would have been with them; but she heard that Republicans were for anti-biotics; so she in turn became against anti-biotics. This made her promptly die of syphilis.

Manhunter pilots the ship directly over top of The Anti-Monitor who looks up at it defiantly and without fear, which brings the Anti-Monitor and Dark Phoenix within way too close of proximity to one another. A fight nobody can walk away from, even the ones powerful enough to be in it. As the few members of the Real Men remain stuck on the ship scramble; Dora and Boots calmly set charges to overload the reactor core on the ship.

Dora says: “Pick a comfy spot to die Boots, looks like we're going down with the ship”

“Actually, I was about to fly out here, I'm not big on fire”. Says Martian Manhunter to interrupt.

Manhunter takes them under his arms and they get as far away as they can from the void as it opens and closes with the huge display of wasted cosmic power.