The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen Vs. The Sigmaz

 The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen is The Inhumans:  Black Bolt, Lockjaw, Medusa, Karnak, Maximus the Mad, & Triton, Parallax, Yellow Lantern #1A, Ancient Sith Lords #1-5, & Cobra Viper #1-4.

The Sigmaz are Snake Eyes w/ Wolf, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhies, Aragorn son of Arathorn, King Hiss, Bacchus, Pan, Warg Rider #1-5 atop Warg #1-5, Goblin #1 (w/ an AR-15), & Goblin #2-7.

Black Bolt, Snake Eyes, Cobra Viper #3, and Michael Myers sit down next to each other on a log to have a deep conversation.  

Just kidding, I just thought that would be a goofy way to start off the match.  It's your boy The Neon Master Pogo here.  It's Joshatu's week off, so when he got called in to write this week anyway, he decided to dust me off and throw me out in the woods instead.  I didn't bring any Off with Deet or anything either here to Sherwood Forest; but that Aight.  This one shouldn't be too long or have much dialogue in it to slow down the writing process, considering that a healthy number of the people in this match don't talk (as referenced by the opening joke for those who didn't get it).  Let's get to it.  

I am starting to see why Ol' Joshatu the Salty didn't feel like handling this one as I take a glance at today's starting  line up.  Without bothering to look up the rosters, all I know is that it is Week 8, these two teams are both still in a payoff race, and at the very least Odin, Goku, Martian Manhunter, and Superman are nowhere to be seen.  

Lockjaw teleports right next to Wolf and eats the smaller canine; but doesn't see the sleek ninja Snake Eyes stealthily approach and remove his head.  <Let's just kill the dogs early to trigger the pet lovers.>   

Medusa is the only woman in this match; so upon entering the woods, she chose the bear and was promptly eaten.   

Bacchus and Pan are getting kanga-rippin-rooed with Karnak, Maximus, and Triton who are completely butthoused at this point.  Like most of the old mythological tales of drunkedness, they all briefly forget that they are supposedly straight and start doing some messed up stuff after the wine starts hitting.  They then sober up, realizing what they did and let's just say that there is 41% chance that they all suicided themselves within a year.  

The Wargs and various types of Goblins are duking it out in a pretty fast-paced and fun to watch battle with The Ancient Sith Lords, when King Hiss from The Sigmaz and Parallax from the Gents join the party.  Goblin #1 in his last FFL Appearance goes ham with his AR and mows down Cobra Viper #1, 2, & 4, as well as Sith Lord #2 & 5.  Goblin #2 joins his homeboy Uno-Gob in final deathing but takes out the last Viper and Sith Lord #1.  The rest of the Sith Lords lightsaber up the other five goblins and then do the same to the five Warg/warg rider combo packs once Yellow Lantern #1A lends a hand after he yellow energy blasts Goblin #2.  Paralax manages to pick up the muscle bound King Hiss and use him as a human shield from the wild 7.62 x .39s flying out from the gat of my boi Uno-Gob and then uses the lifeless body of the Hissernator to send the notable item wielding common to the Graveyard.  Aragorn then appears out of the shadows like Rangers do best and manages to will his fears away like only the true king of men could as he takes up his sword and smites Parallax down.  Yellow Lantern #1A is shocked to see Parallax fall from the sword of a mere mortal; but the Dunadan proves that he is a bit more than mortal as he flings his Ranger Knife into the forehead of the Yellow Lantern from about five yards out.  Snake Eyes teams up the Returned King to match swords with the remaining two Lords of the Sith:  Darth Snus and Darth Zyn.  

To end this bout Micheal Myers and Jason Voorhies start brutally, violently, and gratuitously stabbing the crap out of Black Bolt; which makes The Inhuman Leader say:  "Ow".  Causing the two horror villains to blow up.