Consolation Match: Final Round: Team Sleeping Pussy vs George Washington's Slaves

*Watchers Note: I do apologize for the ridiculous delay of this match. I wrote it a while ago and I kind of forgot it never was posted. By kind of forgot I mean I completely forgot to post it. Sorry again to Fred and Chris especially.

Team Sleeping Pussy is Travis Bickle with a shotgun.

George Washington’s Slaves are Sayid Jarrah w/ blue lightsaber, President Bill Clinton w/ green lightsaber and Buttchunk.

The Loews Depot or Home Loewspot (I really can’t tell what has happened, it appears as if the two stores combined and have merged together as one. In fact, I am just going to make it easy and call it an HQ).

Both teams enter the Home Quarters at opposite ends: Travis by the lumber department and the Slaves in the front entrance.

Buttchunk: Haha, funny.

President Bill Clinton: Oh man, this guy cracks me up. Oh hey look at this; I believe this is a hotdog stand. Hey Sayid, how many you want?

Sayid just stares at the former president and says nothing in return.

Clinton: Oh man, come one. It’s the last match of the season. I know you’re still hard up on not making the finals but you gotta have one of these things, they’re world famous.

Sayid: I find myself not in the mood for food a hotdog at this time Mr. Clinton. If you feel the need to eat during a match versus a mad man then please, be my guest.

Clinton: Well I do believe that I will then. Hey Chunker, how many you want?

Buttchunk: Haha, funny.

Clinton: This guy man, I’ll get you two.

Buttchunk: Haha, fun…

Sayid: Would you both be quiet. Eat your hotdogs but please do it in silence. I need to think right now.

Clinton: Sounds like somebody needs a little pick me up, like a good ole hot dog in the belly sort of pick me up (he laughs at his own joke). You know what I mean Chunktastic?

Buttchunk: Haha, funny.

Sayid tries desperately to drown his teammates out as to try and listen for his opponent. He walked down the first isle of the store when he heard the first blast. It was obvious it came from a shotgun and after the third shot it became apparent that the taxi driver wasn’t going to be subtle about anything.

Sayid then looked back at his teammates eating their hotdogs and for a second he considered telling them to get ready but decided against it. He figured that if he could stop the nut bar first, then he would not have to deal with them in the first place. He then ignited his lightsaber and slowly made his way towards the gun blasts.

As he walked down aisle after isle he could hear the madman talking to people or at least he thought he was talking to people.

Travis Bickle: All I’m saying is that the end isn’t near man, it’s here. I’m telling you, it’s all over man. No point of acting all civilized anymore. Just get out your guns (loads a bullet into the shotgun); load em on up (cocks one into the chamber) and just let it fly.

Sayid then once again heard a gun shot blast, only this time with the sound of a watermelon falling victim at a Gallagher show accompanying it. He was only an isle away now and could smell the death that Bickle was leaving in his wake. He slowly moved to the end of the isle to see if he could catch a glance of him when out of the blue, Bickle took off towards where Clinton and Buttchunk were.

Sayid cursed himself for not informing his teammates but knew that he had little time to stop what he knew was inevitable.

Bickle: (Screaming and singing) This is the end, MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND!!!

Sayid ran towards him thinking that they have to heard that. They must know what is about to happen to them when he looked at the hotdog stand and saw nobody standing there. He quickly hid down the side of the isle and tried to quiet himself, happy for the moment that his teammates had the foresight to pay attention to their surroundings.

Bickle: Come out and fight me you cowards. This is it so lets make it count.

Sayid is considering many things when out of the blue he hears one of his teammates voices from a couple isles down.

Clinton: If you’re so sure of this being the end, then why rush it. Why not have a couple hotdogs before this things all said and done.

Bickle: Government processed meat can kiss my ass!

Clinton: I hardly doubt the government gives much of a damn about the meat in these hotdogs but if you don’t want one I understand. I mean, Chunkwad and me are fine with eating them all.

Sayid is annoyed at this at the beginning but after a minute realizes what the President is doing. He then took off towards the hotdog stand; lightsaber ignited and braced himself for his final fight of the year. He could still hear the President talking when out nowhere the most dreadful sound in the world came to be…

Buttchunk: Haha, funny.

Bickle: You what, it really is.

BANG! Is all you heard and with the blast, Buttchunk no longer had a face (or a head for that matter).

Clinton: Oh wu sonofabitch (mouth full of hotdog, now it is swallowed) You’ve made a gross miscalculation in judgment (ignites his lightsaber) and now it’s time for you to pay the piper.

Bickle: Oh what, you’re smart now. Not talking about hotdogs like an imbecile anymore?

Clinton: I’m President Bill “Mother F#@$ing” Clinton, I’m whoever you want me to be.

Bickle: Well then, how about I want you to be dead!

Sayid: Well that’s funny, because it looks like we both want the same thing.

Sayid then plunges his lightsaber deep in the back of the 70’s antihero, which drops him to his knees. Sayid then kicks the gun out of his hands and puts his foot on his throat.

Bickle: (Gasping for air) It doesn’t matter anyways, like I said earlier, this is it. No point of putting it off any longer.

Sayid: Then by all means (Sayid snaps his neck with one quick push with his foot) Nobody is holding you back.

Sayid stands over the body of the lunatic and though he is relieved with his team’s victory, he has a darkness to him that doesn’t lend itself to an end of the year celebration.

Clinton: (Putting mustard on another hotdog) That end of year stuff he was screaming about was pretty wild huh? (Takes a huge bite of what must be his fourth hotdog by now)

Sayid: I suspect there was something else to it other then end of the year talk. His demeanor represented something much more sinister behind it.

Clinton: (Takes another huge bite) Huh, what? Sorry, eym not fallowing.

Sayid: He mentioned the end as if it was finite, not something to come back to. I fear that something far darker was behind his words.

Clinton: Well (Finally finishes the dog), you think it’s something we should be worrying about?

Sayid: I think it’s something everyone should be worrying about.

Clinton: You think there is a solution?

Sayid: There’s always a solution Mr. Clinton, it just depends on whether or not we are all willing to work on it.

Clinton: Anything we can do it help out?

Sayid: It’s going to take a bit more then two people to fix this problem.

Clinton: You think there is any hope.

Sayid: Hope, hope will always prevail if you allow it to.

Clinton: And if it doesn’t?

Sayid: Well then, I suppose we’ll be seeing a lot less of each other.

Clinton: Let’s hope that doesn’t happen then.

Sayid: I suppose we will see, that’s the funny thing about the future…

Team Sleeping Pussy: All Dead

George Washington's Slaves: President Bill Clinton and Sayid Jarrah survive

George Washington’s Slaves are Victorious!!!