Laya's Squad is Ant Man, Nocturne, Armor, (Kingdom Come) Hawkman, (Kingdom Come) Green Lantern (Alan Scott), Monarch, Warmaster Tsavong Lah, Feral, Nightbird, Decepticon #4, The Lorax, Bendonner, and Reepicheep.
The Nut-busters Squad #1 are Capt. Wacky, Brood Alien #8, Ali Rayner-West, Dark Side Marauder #8, Droid Fighter Ship #20, Sharkticon #32, Sentinel #14, Green Dragon #10, and Smurf #3.
Well, it looks like Joshatu is like still on leave, so he has decided to put me in charge of writing his other round 2 match between The Super Kitties and Nut-busters. Evidently he was like totally wanting an old school MTV VJ; but since Kennedy's got her own show on Fox Business, Kurt Loader is everybody's favorite radio movie critic, Daisy Fuentes is on her way to being the next Kirstie Allie, and Jenny Mcarthy is busy not getting vaccinated he must have thought that I was totally the best girl for the job: JULIE BROWN!! NO NO NO SILLIES.... Not Downtown Julie Brown, the white Julie Brown, from Just Say Julie!!
What do you mean you don't remember that show!??! It was like totally righteous in the 80's and it is like totally relevant now!! Anyways... Let's do this like we did it back in the day on MTV!! And by that, I mean I am going to like totally contrive this match however I see fit, for the simple purpose of making a few music video and pre-grunge music references!! It's gonna be WAY BODACIOUS!!
Oh, here we go. That's Slash from Guns N' Roses playing the guitar riff on this Michael Jackson hit “Beat It”, so I am going to make Ant Man and Smurf #3 tie their wrists together and do a dance/knife fight. This is like soooooooo interesting. Oh, here comes my favorite part , where the King of Pop comes and breaks up the fight. …... ??What?? The King of Pop is dead?? Oh, that's probably why he didn't stop Ant Man from stabbing that poor smurf to death..... Gaaaa-ross. Next I'm going to play that Cher video from “Mermaids” It's like totally in his kiss is what Nightbird the female assassin robot from one episode of Transformers is thinking when she falls madly in love with the mutant hunting robot Sentinel #14. The two massive robots start sucking face and then they decide to NOT get married; but still move in together and live in sin... What?? People don't use that term anymore?? Hmmm, the 21st century is like soooooo weird. Well, anyways; Nightbird and the sentinel fall madly in love thanks to Cher and invite over like a bunch of their friends to their new crib. I mean like Monarch, Tsavong Lah, Armor, Green Dragon #10, Brood Alien #8, and even Nightbird's totally sloppy ex-boyfriend Sharkticon #32 decides to stop by; but then the Cher song ends and I play my favorite punk song, that is totally not punk; but not yet considered alternative, “Burning Down the House” by The Talking Heads (I totally know David Byrne will be friends with them 4-ever). Soooooo, like the whole band shows up and there are a bunch of crappy special effects, and everybody in the house like totally dies in the fire, and I'm like OMIGOD, that is sooooooo sad. That is probably what is going to happen to Madonna once God finds out how much of a whore she is. Which reminds me, I should totally play “Papa Don't Preach”. As the video starts, Alan Scott is so depressed to find out that his son, the mythical giant Bendonner has fallen in love with Dark Side Marauder #8 and that the two of them are going to come out of the closet together and raise their baby The Lorax. Alan Scott is bummed about the social embarrassment of having a gay son; but the two homosexuals decide that they don't care what society says and they do it anyway. Unfortunately, right when dear ol' dad, Alan Scott starts to come around to the idea, the gay couple and their baby in true 80's fashion all die of Aids. Next on the playlist is Aerosmith. And I gotta tell you people, this time around Ali's got a gun. Tell me now it's untrue, it's Ali's last I.O.U.uuuuuuuuu Who. SHE HAD TO TAKE HIM DOWN EASY AND PUT a green energy bullet IN Hawkman's HEADDDDDDDD. But what is unfortunate for Ali, is that she got a really crappy public defender after she killed Hawkman which ended up getting her the gas chamber (remember the gas chamber everybody, cuz we still do that in the 80's). Aerosmith is done, but before I can even press play on the Peter Gabriel tape, Feral picks up a Nightbrother “SLEDGEHAMMER”!!!! And totally wrecks The Droid Fighter Ship. We will then wrap up the 80s, and this total nonsense with the Guns N' Roses Illusions trilogy of November Rain, Estranged, and Don't Cry. Which in essence will just be a naked Capt. Wacky (Jared Pilkinton) sad and brooding in creepy and somewhat grotesque ways after his untimely death at the hands of Nocturne. So long to the one person that actually read this Challenger Explosion size piece of horse vomit, and see ya all in another twenty years!!
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2 comments:
Laya's Squad is Victorious!!
Super Kitties: Ant Man, Nocturne, (KC)Alan Scott, Feral, Decepticon #4, and the mouse live.
Griswold's: All dead.
I thought Alan Scott was gay... Wait, it's the 80's, so he's still closeted. Hell yeah, just got me a no-prize!
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