Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

I, Bryatu, will be “watching” the second round Optional Tournament match between Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos and The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets.
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is Qui Gonn Jinn, Tracks, Agamemnon, E’owyn, Ms. Marvel, Maxima and David Bowman: The Starchild.
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, Wonder Man, Salaak, Link, Megalon and Wicket W. Warwick.
I hover above the stadium known as Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan. I weep at the thought of the individuals who normally play upon the field and how, unlike the present battle between evenly matched participants, they have suffered for over fifty years from embarrassment and futility. Nonetheless, I press on and again begin by entering into the locker room of the combatants.
In the locker room of the Commandos:
Qui Gonn: The battle shall be furious and thus, as in the first round, we should utilize our skills and strengths together as a team.
Tracks: I just know that when I enter battle, no matter what I fight, I look good. . . Looking good is what life is all about.
Agamemnon: Speaking of looking good, I think the women have something to say.
Ms. Marvel, Maxima and E’owyn [in unison]: Let’s do this!
In the Brotherhood’s locker room. . .
Idaho: My friends. . . Today, I plan to channel my hatred for the Harkonnens and use it to defeat the Commandos!
Asajj: The dark side will fuel my endeavor! I look forward to some slicing and dicing today.
Omega: Unyielding resolve has no conqueror!
Wicket: Yub nub!
The combatants are ready to wreak havoc upon each other and enter into the stadium. The lights dim, fireworks explode and the battle begins.
The first two participants meet at the fifty yard line and ignite their lightsabers. Both Asajj and Qui Gonn, in their specific beginning spar positions, circle one another.
Asajj: You are no match for the dark side Jinn! Lay your light saber down.
Jinn: Surrender now and your life will not be forfeit.
Ventress: This is a death match fool! One of us will be carried out in a body bag!
Jinn: Very well.
The two force wielders continue to circle one another. Without further hesitation, the two lash out. The loud clashing of their striking lightsabers is heard throughout the stands. Where Jinn is more controlled and fluid with his motions, Ventress’ ferocity manifests for all to see. The irony for all who watch is the differences seen in both Jinn’s and Ventress’ techniques, although both were taught by the same master - Count Dooku.
Ventress: My Master has trained you well Jinn.
Jinn: As he has you too Ventress. . . Yet he has trained you in the corrupt ways of the Sith while I am a true-blooded Jedi!
Jinn gains momentum as Ventress is slowly being worn down since she constantly needs to focus on her use of two lightsabers. Ventress’ mental gaff allows Jinn the opportunity to sweep her legs from beneath her with a force push. As Ventress begins to fall, she loses a lightsaber and immediately uses the loss of the weapon to her advantage. A flurry of crackling force lightning emits from her hand and engulfs Jinn’s body. Jinn screams in agony as the lightning smolders and singes his form. As Jinn begins to rise up, Ventress calls upon her lightsaber through the force and comes down with both blades. The double swiping motions of the blades decapitate Jinn twice. Jinn’s headless body falls to the ground.
Ventress [standing over Qui Gonn]: I must thank Tyranuss’ teachings , not Dooku’s, for my victory. . .
Wicket’s small legs carry him across the forty yard line toward the Commandos. The Lions mascot, Roary, watches from the sidelines. Roary suddenly feels someone jump on his back. Roary is mounted by Dernhelm, one of the Riders of Rohan. Dernhelm steers Roary toward the diminutive Brotherhood combatant. Although small, the ewok wants to taste the meat of the Lion’s mascot and throws a spear into Roary’s chest. The costumed head falls off the mascot and Wicket screams in frustration that he was fooled by a man disguised as a lion. The ewok then focuses on the rider who has now fallen off of Roary. To his dismay, he discovers that Dernhelm is actually E’owyn is disguise. Wicket becomes infuriated that he was fooled twice in one instance. He pulls out a stone axe from his leather belt and rushes upon E’owyn with the weapon in hand. E’owyn blocks the ewok’s blows with her shield and pierces the bear-like enemy through its stomach.
E’owyn: You may have been cute little one, but now you are no better than an appetizer for the Ford Field catering service. . .
As E’owyn lifts her eyes from the dead ewok she notices a brilliantly handsome man walking toward her. She is attracted to him at first until she realizes that he is the Atreides Swordmaster, Duncan Idaho.
Idaho: Shieldmaiden of Rohan, although you are a rare beauty, you must die. . .
E’owyn: I defeated your little pet so easily I am looking forward to a battle worth my while.
Idaho: It will be worth your while m’lady. . . It will be your death!
The Ginaz Sword Master focuses his ability and anger at E’owyn. E’owyn is a fierce foe, but as the House of Atreides affiliate who has defeated Count Hasimir Fenring in single combat, she is still not enough. Idaho impales E’owyn on his blade. She slowly slips off his blade.
Idaho: A death for the Brotherhood.
Having seen the loss of their fellow female teammate, Ms. Marvel and Maxima jump into the fray and head toward Idaho. Their combined superhuman strength and speed should be more than a match for this simple swordsman. Before they intersect, they are met by Wonder Man and Salaak.
Ms. Marvel, Maxima and Wonder Man instantly come together and make a mighty threesome. Their superhuman strength, speed, flight ability and stamina wear each other down as they fight both on and above the field. The Slyggian lantern corpsman waits for his opening. Wonder Man manages to throw Carol Danvers across the field. Wonder Man then focuses on Maxima and Salaak knows that this is his time to shine. The pickle-headed alien uses his ring powers to batter Maxima. Maxima shrugs off the blows, smiles and manages to use her mind control powers on Salaak. The Keeper of the Book of Oa then uses his ring on his teammate Wonder Man just as he is about to finish Ms. Marvel. Maxima is about to then have Salaak finish Wonder Man off when the 40,000 ton Megalon kicks her through the goal posts. With Maxima out of his mind, Salaak focuses on Ms. Marvel who is now being pummeled by Wonder Man. Ms. Marvel is crawling on the field in defeat. Megalon jumps in the air and almost takes flight. He crashes through Ford Field’s roof and comes down directly on Ms. Marvel. Megalon then uses his burrowing ability at incredible speed and places the tattered Ms. Marvel miles beneath the field. Ms. Marvel, nearly unconscious, sees Salaak and Wonder Man dump the earth and astroturf over her body. The alien and Avenger completely fill in the hole so that no air lies within space held by Ms. Marvel’s body. Trapped and without air, Ms. Marvel succumbs to being buried alive and dies a horrible death.
I look at the other participants. . .
One of the original Cymeks, Agamemnon, walks to the thirty yard line. The titan named machine-human hybrid is met by Link.
Agamemnon: You will be destroyed.
Link, who relies on his actions instead of words, simply smiles at the cyborg.
The bearer of the Master Sword begins to pummel Agamemnon. Agamemnon repeatedly blocks the sword with its body. Link is slowly becoming frustrated, but realizes that he has defeated Ganondorf, so he can definitely defeat this monstrosity. Link is wrong. Agamemnon, one of the most powerful of all cymeks, manages to capture Link by his foot when Link attempts to climb atop Agamemnon and destroy its brain with his legendary sword and light arrows. Just as Link carries his sword above his head, Agamemnon, now with Link’s legs in both arms, rips the teen apart. Link falls to the ground in two pieces.
As Agamemnon turns around and scans the Hylian’s body, he is pulled by Megalon’s magnetic vortex. He uses his massive cannon, but there is no major damage to be had against the Seatopian guardian. Due to Agamemnon’s metallic body, the cymek is pulled toward Megalon. Once the cymek is upon the enormous Megalon, Megalon unleashes a pulse of magnetic energy and sends Agamemnon flying across the field, the titan’s internal systems and mind in near shambles. Omega Supreme, with his incredible strength (able to shatter a mountainside with a single blow and lift 300.000 tons with his clawed arm) finishes the cymek with a combination of both his strength and plasma blaster which easily pulverizes the titan’s casing.
A flying corvette hits Omega from behind. Omega, in robot mode, turns around to see the vehicle transform into its cybertronian form.
Tracks: Omega. . .
Omega: Tracks. . . Unfortunately, all those hours of washing and waxing your armor will only be a waste of time.
Tracks: You are only jealous that I not only look good, but am more than equipped to defeat you in battle.
Omega: We shall see, you self-absorbed rust-bucket!
The two autobots clash in a furious battle. Both autobots use all of their strength and skill against one another. Yet, Omega is clearly more durable to the pounding that they have placed on one another since Omega’s armored hide is extremely resistant to punishment. Tracks is not so lucky and looks down at himself in near disgust as he is beaten up: his body is scratched and turf is hanging from his body. Tracks wants to leave the battle and transforms into his car mode. Just as he begins to peel away, Idaho and Ventress jump into the car. Idaho and Ventress quickly slash the interior and internal components of Tracks. Tracks manages to push the two sword wielders out of his interior, but it is too late. As Tracks transforms into his robot form, he notices that he is severely damaged from the punishment suffered not only from Omega, but from Idaho and Ventress also. He looks up in the air and sees Salaak. Salaak uses his ring to make a giant trash compactor, which has now encased Tracks. The walls come crushing down from all sides. Tracks’ essence comes to an end.
Salaak walks away when he is met by David Bowman.
Bowman: It seems as if I am not the only child from the stars.
Before Salaak can respond, Bowman’s energy-like form emits a huge amount of radiation and power (which he absorbed from a nuclear weapon before the battle) and focuses the destructive energy on Salaak. The Slyggian dies and is wiped from existence. Bowman looks upon the other combatants on the field. Maxima joins him and looks at the other team.
Bowman: My other star child brethren. . . Let us finish this.
The two slowly walk toward the remaining members of the Brotherhood. Ventress, Megalon, Omega, Idaho and Wonder Man stand in anticipation of the fight that follows. Ventress, Idaho and Wonder Man battle Maxima, while Omega and Megalon battle the Star Child. Wonder Man flies to Maxima and immediately uses his super strength and speed to strike her. Maxima uses her own strength and force field generation to stop a brunt of the blows. While she is focusing on Wonder Man though, Idaho comes from behind and attempts to stab her. Maxima turns around and breaks the sword in one hand. She is just about to use mind control on the sword master to fight his own teammates when Ventress force leaps from behind and uses both of her lightsabers to strike at Maxima. Wounded, Maxima attempts to use her optical force beams on Ventress, but is unable to reach her since Ventress either deflects the beams with her lightsabers, or force pushes them away. Although the Almerac Queen has superstrength, she cannot stop the damage that the light sabers eventually do. She crumbles dead to the floor.
Bowman realizes that he is the last member of his team. He becomes a being of pure energy and is about to use this to his advantage. Omega transforms into his rocket base with rocket and tank and repeatedly fires his weapons at Bowman. Bowman’s being becomes brighter, having absorbed the energy of Omega’s weapons. Megalon quickly acts and uses his prehensile drill-like appendages to capture Bowman and then tunnel into the earth. Megalon, with Bowman in hand, repeatedly emits a yellow energy beam from his horn-like appendage, launches spherical, red napalm bombs from his mouth and unleashes his magnetic energy pulses at Bowman instantaneously. The amounts of energy in different forms disrupt Bowman’s essence. The Star Child is not able to absorb or diverge such molecularly diverse energy forms at the same time and Bowman’s form disrupts, taking both himself and Megalon to their deaths.
I watch the Brotherhood stand over the hole caused by the two combatants. . .
Idaho: Megalon sacrificed itself for the team.
Omega: A sacrifice that will be remembered and honored in the next battle. . .
As I, Bryatu, Watcher of this match look upon the field, I find Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos defeated. Qui Gonn Jinn, Tracks, Agamemnon, E’owyn, Ms. Marvel, Maxima and David Bowman: The Starchild: no survivors. Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, Wonder Man survive for The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. The Brotherhood has lost Salaak, Link, Megalon and Wicket W. Warwick. Nonetheless, I declare THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS VICTORIOUS!!!