The Right Wing vs Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

The Right Wing is Poseidon, Silver Surfer, Phibian #11-18, Kit Fisto, Ariel, Opee Sea Killer #1-4, Capt. Panaka, Baby Storm, Storm, Jedi Knight #16 & 17, Mikhail Bakunin, & Helen of Troy.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are Gamera, Megalon, Gold Dragon #3-8, Bultar Swan, Jedi Padawan #36, Bat-Mite, N.S.-5 #35 & 36, Green Dragon #27, Avian #1, Capt. N & Duke, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Peppermint Patti & Marci, Kermit the Frog, Vampire #100, Squirtle, Toad, & (Marvel Comics) Toad.

Sorry this match took longer than expected to be posted, Bat-Mite thought it was hilarious to teleport me, Ryatu, to the world of Chutes and Ladders. Yeah I didn’t know there was a whole planet made up of nothing but that either. So it took me a little longer than expected. Plus I hit some black space ice (it exists) and crashed into the Spaceship Swinetrek on my way there. So again, sorry for the delay.

I’d say that Helen of Troy once again had the face that launched a thousand ships, but neither of these teams has even a single ship. So instead, Helen of Troy just has a neck that was bitten by Vampire #100. The Brotherhood knows that they are going to have their backs up against the proverbial wall in this match, so they charge in and give it all they’ve got. Gamera emerges from the ocean where Bultar Swan, Jedi Padawan #36, Captain N, Duke, and Meriadoc Brandybuck all climb on top of his shell. Gamera pulls his legs and tail inside of his shell and rockets towards The Right Wing. The turtle-riding Midgets leap off and attack The Right Wing. Duke the dog goes right after Mikhail Bakunin and starts mauling him. But Mikhail is very comfortable in these equator located waters, due to all of his time being Lost. He pulls the pin on a hand grenade and stuffs it into the dog’s mouth and dives underwater to avoid the coming explosion. Captain N sees this and is devastated. He dives after Mikhail and vaporizes him with his zapper. Bultar Swan and her Jedi Padawan try to attack the Phibians, but are outnumbered and in the water their lightsabers are useless. Bultar is able to Force push Phibian #12 into the knife of Phibian #17, but her Padawan is overwhelmed and defeated by the Phibians. Merry draws his sword and leaps on top of Phibian #15 and drives it deep into the base of his neck. A baby bolt of lightning by Baby Storm then hits Bultar Swan, and since she is all wet, even the baby-sized bolt is enough to bring about her demise. Peppermint Patty screams out in agony when Ariel swims up behind and jams a dinglehopper up under her rib cage. Enraged, Marci grabs a hold of Ariel’s red hair as she starts swimming below. She grabs the fork out of Ariel’s hand and brutally guts her with it. (Honestly the sight of it is disgusting. Have you ever seen a mermaid ripped open by a lesbian with a dull fork? No, I didn’t think so. I’m pretty sure at one point Marci even bit into the Little Mermaid. High above the ocean, Gold Dragons #3-8, Green Dragon #27, and Avian #1 circle the battle with NS-5 #35 on top of Gold Dragon #4 and NS-5 on Green Dragon #27. Storm along with Baby Storm then take to the skies to battle them. She calls down a huge lightning bolt that rips through Gold Dragon #3, as she flies out of the way from Gold Dragon #4’s fire breath. Baby Storm is then covered in poison by Green Dragon #27 and dies before her body hits the water. This angers the Friend of All Children regardless of team allegiance. But Gamera does not have the chance to do or say anything about it, as Silver Surfer hits him in the shell. The cosmic blast bounces off of the think protective shell of Gamera. The giant turtle then pulls his head and limbs into his shell and fires flames out of his arm and leg cavities causing him to rocket through the air spinning like a Frisbee. Silver Surfer is able to evade the oncoming attack, but is hit in the back by another. Megalon fires red napalm bombs from his mouth knocking Silver Surfer off balance. Ol’ Chromedome swings back around and unleashes a powerful blast of cosmic energy that blows a giant hole right in the middle of Megalon. Silver Surfer flies through the hole before Megalon even falls. He then zips back towards Gamera, but comes up from underneath, firing on Gamera’s softer underbelly. This attack finally takes down the Friend of All Children. Squirtle tries to gain some retribution for his fellow turtle and fires a stream of water at the Surfer, which really doesn’t do anything but annoy him. Captain Panaka helps out by shooting Squirtle right between the eyes. Kermit the Frog and Toad are then snagged by Opee Sea Killers #1 and 2’s long sticky tongues and are dragged down and eaten. All that’s left is Toad’s mushroom head, which floats to the surface. Kit Fisto leads Jedi Knights #16 and 17 against the motley crew of Vampire #100, Captain N, Marci and Merry. Captain N uses his power pad to give him super speed, which allows him to evade Kit Fisto’s oncoming attack. Vampire #100, Marci and Merry aren’t as lucky. Jedi Knights #16 and 17 uses the Force to hold them in place as Kit Fisto uses his specially outfitted lightsaber to cut them apart. Captain Panaka tried to shoot Captain N, but realizes that his gun has been changed into a rainbow trout courtesy of Bat-Mite. Captain N’s gun however, works just fine, as Panaka soon finds out. The team of Storm and Silver Surfer start gaining control of the skies as they kill Gold Dragon #6-8 and Avian #1. Bat-Mite then creates a tight box that encases Storm. It falls out of the sky and into the ocean below. She starts freaking out, as she is claustrophobic. Tornados, lightning bolts, and hail start rapidly appearing everywhere due to Storm’s panic. Jedi Knight #16 is sucked up into a tornado and killed. A bolt of lightning hits gold Dragon #4, but NS-5 #35 leaps onto the back of Silver Surfers surfboard. He tries to knock him off, but Surfer simply rips his head off and kicks the body into the water. Then tornados, lightning and hail finally stop as the box that Storm was in sinks to the ocean floor. Toad then whips his long tongue and attaches it to the underside of the surfboard. He is yanked out of the water and clings to it. Poseidon then cause massive waves to form, which crash down and consume Captain N and knock Gold Dragon #5 into the water, killing it as well. NS-5 #36 jumps off of Green Dragon #27 and into the water, where he attacks the remaining Phibians. He manages to kill Phibian #11 and 14, before the others take him down. Green Dragon #27 then strafes the water surface and spits poison all over Jedi Knight #17. But then, it is dragged underwater and eaten by the four Opee Sea Killers. Silver Surfer splashes down and starts surfing the waves, dragging Toad with him. Toad finally releases his hold on the surfboard and is stabbed in the chest by Kit Fisto. Bat-Mite, who has been quietly chuckling to himself the entire time, turns Phibians #13, 16, 17 and 18 all into cantaloupes which are then eaten by Opee Sea Killer #3. But now he has to deal with the fact that Kit Fisto, Silver Surfer and Poseidon are all attacking him. Bat-Mite teleports out of the way of Silver Surfer’s cosmic blasts. But Kit Fisto uses the Force and spins his lightsaber around at the very moment Bat-Mite reappears, decapitating the imp.

THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!