Week 2 Better Than All Of You vs The "Wait, if he's the smoker, why does she sound like that?" touring batallion of commandos.

Miley "I'm not overshadowed yet by my boyfriend" Cyrus and "I'm thinking of running as a Republican this year just so they have a shot against me on the Democratic ticket" President Barrack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos are:
King Laufey, Heimdall, Buffy Summers w/blue lightsaber, Iorek Byrnison, Willow Rosenberg w/Dumbledore's Wand, Worm Becks, Rachel Ray

Better Than All of You is:
Cobra Commander in a Z-95 Headhunter, Red Skull with Glamdring in a Mig, Predator #9 with a green lightsaber, Cobra vipers #20 - #25, Duke Transformers Mech Unit, Snake Eyes Transformers Mech Unit, Scarlett Transformers Mech Unit, Roadblock Transformers Mech Unit, Wizards #1 & #2, Dozer #15, Baby Jaguar


“Thissssss whole thing isss ridiculoussss!” hissed Cobra Commander into the comm unit of his Z95.

“You have got to start saying ‘over’ into your comm dude,I can’t tell if i’m hearing the radio static or you hissing. over.” responded Red Skull.

“ssssshut up, we have work to do!” Commander responded.

…..
…..

Cobra commander rolls his eyes. “ugh you’re an idiot!... OVER.”

“That’s better.” responded Red Skull, “Now lets get this advance sweep done before The joes in those insane mech suits stumble into a trap. I can’t see a thing out there. AAcccchchhhhhh”

“What wassss that? you didn’t ssssay ‘over’ sssso i’m not sssssure if you’re done talking or if your radio just cut out..” sniped Cobra Commander... “oh sssssshi....!” he shouted.

Cobra commander barely hauled his Z-95 out of the way as the sparking ice covered ball of metal that used to be Red Skulls mig flew passed him.

“Planes?! Really! This is what you silly mortals have brought against the mighty King Laufey!?” shouted the booming voice of the king of the ice trolls.

“Technically mine is a ssssspace sssship!” retorted Cobra Commander as he rounded on the troll. The Cobra Commander then unloaded the KX5 laser cannons into the ice troll the heat from the lasers easily slicing their way through the ice based armor that the troll king had built up for himself. Unfortunately the tunnel vision of his run at Laufey had blinded him to the attack that had been launched against him.


Rachel Ray had put a garbage bowl on each foot, coated the outside in EVOO and was rapidly hurtling down an ice ramp that Laufey had built before his demise. The Kamikazi Celebrity Chef hit the ramp and launched feet first into the cockpit of the Z-95 killing them both instantly.

The careening ship slammed into the ice spraying snow into the air and crushing Dozer #15.

Baby Jaguar buried himself into the snow pile near the crashed ship, preparing to pounce.

Wizards #1 and #2 swept out from behind the fallen spacecraft to square off with the enemy.
The Joes mech units stomping up behind them to back them up. The Wizards began to speak their words of power to cast a powerful magic rain of fire on the enemies that they could barely make out in the wind and snow.

Unfortunately they didn’t understand the magnitude of the magical forces arrayed against them.

Suddenly the air became incredibly still, visibility increased to the horizon.

“Yeah... those will do nicely.” said Willow whose eyes had become black as night, veins visibly pulsating under the skin in her forehead and cheeks. She was wielding a wand of incredible power.

“Why on earth am I bothering playing with some old man’s stick... I’m plenty effective with just my hands... go ahead and ask Tara! oh wait you can’t, because she’s gone....” the spell books from the wizards hands suddenly were pulled into mid air, floating in front of Willow while the words crawled over her skin and across her face...

“Not much in there but parlor tricks...” she continued “I mean ‘Magic Missile’? Really?”

“oh wait here’s something scrawled in the margins... maybe I’ll give this wand a shot after all.” she said.

“Accio Bolts.... Accio ALL OF THE BOLTS!!” she shouted.

The Joes mech units were dismantled bolt by bolt in the blink of an eye and the bolts ripped through the two stunned wizards like buck shot.

The pilots recovered from the collapsing mechs and decided to try to hide behind a pile of snow until they could come up with a way to tackle the crazed witch.

“What are we gonna do!?!” whispered Roadblock.
“We sit here until we figure out how to approach this...” replied Duke “Snakeyes is dressed ENTIRELY in black spandex, it’s not like stealth is an option here.”
Scarlett broke in, “Duke’s right, we sit here and we wait, nobody has noticed us yet.”

“Well I wouldn’t say nobody.” Said the snowy hill they were huddled behind.

“What the hell was that?!” roadblock said, startled.
“..... ….” said snakeeyes.
“Oh that’s real helpful silent Boboooooh CRAP!” Roadblock shouted as he realized that their cover had become mobile.

Shaking off the snow and ice, the king of the armored bears, Iorek Byrnison began to lay waste to the joes, his armor deflecting combat knives and katana alike as he tore the joes limb from limb staining the pristine snow red.

As Ioreck turned to seek out his next victim baby jaguar pounced aimed directly at the empty space between his head and shoulder armor. A flash of blue split the tiny jaguar neatly in two. Buffy Summers climbed atop Iorek and they charged towards the Cobra vipers, Tooth and Claw and blue slashing blade made quick work of the cobra vipers who fired their lasers wildly, never coming close to their mark.

The following events happened incredibly quickly.
Three red dots appeared in a triangle on Buffy’s head. A incredible noise pierced the sky. The once calm wind rose to a tempest of snow and hail.

Then a spray of glowing green blood.

“oh no. there will be no more shooting of women on my watch pal. you’re going to die slow for that one.”

The sounds of an inhuman scream filled the air as the skin was pulled from the predator in very small strips inch by inch until the sound of ice pelting on the wreckage of the Z95 was all that could be heard.