Season Five: Consolation Round One: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Layander's Super Orange Kitties

Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are Duncan Idaho (child version), Mouser and Salacious B. Crumb

Layander's Super Orange Kitties are The Jokester, The Jokester's Pet Monkey, The Mouse with the sword from Narnia, Magwai #2 and Smurf #7.

The ball pit was angry today my friends. The balls in the pit looked like a rainbow colored arsenal of clown bombs rather then just a simple pit of a child’s dream. As far as I could tell, the only members in the pit all belonged to Layander. The Jokester and his pet monkey slowly waded through the plastic wonderland while their teammates were not big enough to be seen.

As the Jokester made his way through the enormous pit, he suddenly felt something hit him in the head. He looked up and what he saw was not only shocking, but really funny. As he located where the balls were coming from he saw a giant mouse standing on top of the massive jungle gym, intermediantley tossing balls down into the pit. He found it funny because as kid he was an avid Mario Brothers 2 fan. Because of this he knew that normally the end boss was known for throwing bombs, not the harmless projectiles that he was launching now.

The Jokester and his monkey began to laugh but soon enough he found himself lying on the bottom of the pit. He could tell that someone had taken his legs out from underneath him but he did not see anybody around. Though this did not hurt the Earth 3 version of the Joker, he was disoriented just enough to not know where his pet monkey had gone. With this realization, he quickly jumped up and was once again hit in the head with a ball. Now more annoyed then anything, he threw a ball back at the mouse. Knowing that this would do nothing to stop the mouse, he moved below the jungle gym out from the range of the flying balls.

On the other side of the pit, Smurf #7 had been trying to find his way through what he considered a very rough terrain. Before he knew it though, he was being picked up and tossed into the hands of Salacious B. Crumb. It did not take long before the smurf was a happy meal in the mouth of Jabba’s most jovial pet. A laugh soon erupted out of the monkey lizard but was quickly silenced as a sword was thrown from the bottom of the pit, directly through the front of his mouth. Salacious B. Crumb was now hanging from the top of the ball pit with a sword through the front of his face, holding him forever from the top of the wall.

The mouse from Narnia sat at the bottom of the pit snickering to himself for a minute and then moved over to his magwai teammate to join him. On the way through the expansive ball pit though, he was snatched up in the hands of his mysterious opponent and brought back down under the multi-colored sea. The mouse attempted to escape his capture but was soon suffocated to death in the hands of his much larger opponent. The same fate fell upon the magwai as he too was brought down to the ground, having his life snuffed out in the same exact fashion as the mouse.

As the mysterious assailant waded through the balls a bit more he realized he had dispatched of his final adversary; or so he thought. His first and only mistake was taking his eye off the ball (sorry about that) because as soon as Duncan Idaho brought his head out of the ball pit, he found himself staring directly at the Jokester, who was holding the sword that had so recently killed his teammate. Duncan tried to avoid the blade of the weapon but before he could even defend himself, the Jokester had sliced a perfectly placed cut from one side of his neck to the other, making Dario Argento proud. The bottom layer of the ball pit now ran red with the blood of the youngster, ending his life before the Jokesters eyes.

The Jokester laughed as he watched the blood ooze out of the dune hero’s body. He then came out from underneath the ball pit and was once again hit in the head with a ball from Mouser. Now only mildly annoyed, he searched the place to see if he could locate his pet. It didn’t take long before he found the monkey, who had climbed up to the top of the gym. He called for him to come down as the coast was finally clear. The monkey quickly hoped down from his perch and landed into the pit. The monkey was quick to get his bearings back but before he was able to head towards his owner he was also hit in the head with a ball. The Jokester reassured him that they were only balls when he looked over at the projectile sitting next to his friend and noticed a fiery wick coming out of the top.

The Jokester: Harley, that’s not just a ball…

The bomb then exploded and killed the pet monkey, really making the good guy version of the joker mad. As was previously mentioned, the Jokester was well versed in Mario 2 strategy so before he could morn the death of his pet, he waited for the Mario villain to throw another bomb to the ground. Sure enough, the giant mouse launched another bomb towards the pit and as soon as it came towards him, he threw it back at the mouse. The bomb exploded and the smile once again returned to the Jokesters face. Though it wasn’t there for long, because as soon as the smoke cleared, he found himself still looking up at Mouser.

The Jokester: Come on, three times? Really?

As the Jokester now knew, Mouser was only as good as dead once you laid the three bombs on him, not just one. Annoyance now poured over his face as he knew what had to be done. Given, this took a little longer then expected because it took another ten minutes before the mouse threw a bomb, as he was still continually throwing harmless Mcdonald’s balls down to the ground as well. In fact, this took so long that after he hit him with the second bomb he went out into the dining area and had lunch. He ordered a six piece nugget and the new Blueberry and banana nut oatmeal with a coke. The oatmeal was quite good, though he still liked the regular apples and raisons variety a bit more.

He watched for a while until he finally saw the mouse with a bomb in hand. Instead of running in there right quick though, he decided to try something that he always wondered about. He remembered as a child that if Mouser was holding a bomb in the game and you ran away from him that when you came back, the bomb would be gone. So instead of just ending it the easy way, he decided to have some fun with it. He stood up and through the window of the ball pit he stared directly at Mouser who was holding the bomb in his hand but instead of walking towards him, he turned around and walked away. As the Jokester was walking back towards the main counter he heard a loud explosion and then turned around. When he looked back all he saw was the dead body of the giant mouse lying on the blood soaked floor of the ball pit. He stared in through the window of the pit, smiling ear to ear.

The Jokester: Looks like the AI in the real world’s pretty good after all.