Pre-Season Tournament- Round #3

" Welcome everyone to round #3 of Season six pre-season action! I am your host, the INTERNET CHAMPION. Long Island Iced Z. Zack Ryder."

"As you've all seen so far the action has be SSSSSIIIICCCCKKKKK! To give you a quick recap, the  Frank Herbert division fist pumped the face of  the Tolkein division and only lost one member of their team, Jay Garrick-the golden age Flash. But if I were Dark Jedi Pete Sosa, vampire Starfire, and The Midnighter I wouldn't be popping any Bud Light Limes just yet cause the next round isn't gonna be any easier, as the Spielberg division pulled out an impressive victory over the Arthur C Clarke division with only psychic ninja hottie Psylocke and my broski Triple H surviving through to the next round."

"Well, that does it for me. We take you back to the action where WWE Hall of Fame announcer, and another broski of mine good ole JR- Jim Ross will be calling the shots. But before I got don't forget to like me on facebook! Follow me on twitter! Buy all the Zack Ryder merchandise on WWESHOP.com and download my new hit single "Hoeski" on iTunes! Tweet me a pic of your purchase of my single and I will follow YOU on Twitter. Make sure you keep tweeting me till I follow you."

"Take care. Spike your hair. WOO WOO WOO. You know it!"



"Thank you, Zack and welcome back to the action, folks. The ring is just about clear, the Herberts division is discussing strategy in the ring as the Spielberg division heads down the-.  Hold on. Someone's storming the ring, pushing past the Spielberg members... Is that? It seems to be... yes it is it'sCM Punk. But what the hell is he doing here? He hasn't been signed to any team yet! The draft isn't for another couple days. What business does he have interrupting this match"


"Looks like Punk has a microphone. This is always...interesting to say the least. Let's see what's on mister Punk's mind."

"Ladies and gentlemen, and I use those terms very loosely, I am here interrupting your little happy happy fun time because a crime is going to be committed. That's right. A crime will be committed and not surprisingly no one is willing to do anything about it."

"What's the crime? Simple. The crime of ignorance. That's right, ignorance. I took a look at the so called 'draft list' to get an idea of which of your various heroes and saviors I'll have the pleasure of dismantling and pushing down from grace this year, and I see that not only am I entered at #46, which is a joke, but my supposed 'ranking' is only 8 measly points. 8. The longest reigning WWE champion of the last 25 years, the second city saint, the straight edged messiah, THE BEST IN THE WORLD is worth less points than a furry orange tree hugger or a panda that knows karate and I demand to know why."

"Listen up Punk, this isn't the time or the place for you. Now I suggest you leave this ring right now. I already killed me one former WWE champion tonight. I got no problem killing you and then Triple H for the hat trick" smirked Pete Sosa as he ignites his lightsaber "Matter of fact, I think that'd be a fine way to start this season."

"Yeah, big man? You gonna kill an unarmed man, tough guy? Oooooh. Big, bad ass Jedi man gonna kill me. Well come on. Strike me down, before I really get pissed off and decide to put your LIGHTS OUT!"

"Well, folks. I don't know exactly how good a pick CM Punk is gonna be in this year's draft since he's apparently gonna come in with one dea-"

"What the hell? Where are the damn lights? I hear a struggle. I see some flashes of  a purple light. What the hell is going on down there? CAN SOMEONE GET THE DAMN LIGHTS UP??!!!!"

"Ok, the lights are back up. Oh my. My god ladies and gentlemen. The ring. The ring is full of..well it's filled with pure carnage and brutality. The Midnighter has been decapitated. Half of Psylocke is in the ring and the other half seems to be hanging from the lights. Vampire Starfire has been impaled by the arm of jedi Sosa. Her mouth full of the Jedi's blood, as it looks like she tore his damn throat out as he killed her. The lone person standing amidst the gore is a blood splattered CM Punk, who seems to be laughing. Did he...did he kill everyone? What the hell is going on??!! The only one who seems to be untouched is Triple H, but he's nowhere near the ring? Punk looks like he's got more to say, let's hear from him"

"Let me break things down for you. It's not just about your superpowers. It's not how fast or strong you are. If you have a magic ring, or are weakened by a rock or a match, if you have a healing power or any of that crap. It's all in who you know and who you owe. And right now you all will know two things. Number one is that I am a very dangerous man with very dangerous friends. Number two is that I will NOT abide by anyone looking down their nose at me or any of my professional brethren.Unfortunately for the Herbert division,the kitties made the mistake of disrespecting one of the true greats in my business and by extension me, so I felt I owed them a little lesson.  The good news for the Herberts, and any division really, is that I'm willing to be the bigger man and forgive you all for your previous missteps."

" I'll see you all on draft day, maybe even sooner for some of you"

 "Ladies and gentlemen. I'm at a loss for words. As we see Punk exit the arena he's walking past Triple H who's just staring with a big smile on his face. Punk's looking up towards the skybox where all the owners from the Spielberg division are celebrating. He's pointing at them. He's yelling something....'Did I pass the audition?' What the hell does that mean??!! Did I pass the audition? Is Punk...is Punk aligned with a team in the Spielberg division? Did someone pay him off?? Wait. It seems that...is that Horsemen owner Ryan Poteracki giving Punk the thumbs up??!! Folks, I wish I had more answers for you, but for now all I can say is thanks to CM Punk the damn Steven Spielberg division has won the match thanks to that  sneaky, slimey, vile opportunist CM Punk."

 "For the Ocho, this is Jim Ross signing off! Good night everybody!"