Real Man's Rimjobbers vs. The Empire: final

Season 6: Week 7

The Future: Detroit 1928

Real Man's Rimjobbers are: Movie Dreads(Crankcase, Crowbar, Hatchet), Vehicle Voltron: Land(Commander Cliff, Cinda, Modok, Marvin, Hutch), Bloodpack(Nyssa, Asad, Rheinhardt, Chupa, Snowman, Preist, Verlaine, and Lighthammer), Ernst Star, Metallica(James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett, and Jason Newstead), Hammer Bros #17-22.

The Empire is: Black Zero, Black Zero(DC), Black Zarak, Superman Jr., Batman Jr., The Blob, Hannibal King, Indigo Lantern Sinestro, Victory Leo, Star Saber(combine to form Victory Saber), Zombie Poison Ivy, Doozer #5, and Teddy Tear

Real Man cowers as reality rights itself. A lone figure stands before him. "I am NuFaG2. Following the loss of NuFaGtu, an overworked Commish again used his suspect robotics knowledge to fuse the corpse of NuFaGtu with the remains of Robimus Prime. The result is I, NuFaG2, the most brutally efficient of all Watchers. The Empire changed it's fate long ago, while The Rimjobbers have only changed names and continue to lose under the ownership of Real Man. We head to Navin Field, soon to be home to yet another loss for Real Man.

The Rimjobbers have gathered within Navin Field with little sign of a plan. Voltron Vehicle's Commander Cliff is trying to get everyone on the same page. "Guys! Listen up! I've got our orders from the owner!" yells Cliff. "What's the point?" asks Rheinhardt of the Bloodpack. "Yeah, we're just going to lose again anyways!" adds Priest. "Now hold on, people." says Cliff, unfolding the paper with their orders. "Oh f*ck..." he laments after reading the plan. "Same as always..." DAMMIT!!!" curses Cliff. "DESTROY THEM ALL!!! SO SAYS REAL MAN!!!!" The Rimjobbers say in unison. "Yup, you got it team..." admits Cliff.

The Empire surrounds the exterior of Navin Field. "Rimjobbers! Come out for your weekly beating!" booms the voice of NuFaG2. The Rimjobbers worry and wonder what to do, all except for Metallica. They begin to play "The Unforgiven", the same song they've played every week since Real Man took over the team. Suddenly, an idea hits Commander Cliff. "Wait guys... It's a retreat week! Let's get the Hell out of here!!!" orders Cliff. They begin pouring out of the stadium, right into the sights of Black Zarak, Black Zero, and Victory Saber. They unload their ultra powerful weapons on the retreating team with no remorse. They exterminate the Rimjobbers, who never really stood a chance.

NuFaG2 calculates that The Empire conquers!
The Empire: All survive
The Rimjobbers: All Dead

"Real Man will not learn, so Real Man will continue his schooling." says NuFaG2 as he surveys the damage. The massive amount of carnage sparks a part of his programming, long ago forgotten about. "NuFaG2 must destroy EFF-EFF-ELL." he says in the second best robot voice that you can imagine. Real Man is happy with this announcement, until he realizes that with no FFL to troll, his life will be completely meaningless. Eric clutches his flathead screwdriver tightly as he attacks NuFaG2, stabbing him in the side like before. "Nobody destroys the FFL but me!!! SO SAYS ERIC!!!" NuFaG2 pimp slaps Eric away. "Foolish human. A watcher cannot be destroyed with a flathead screwdriver. It must be a Phillips head, at least. Eric is detrimental to NuFaG2's mission, and must be destroyed. Goodbye Real Man." NuFag2's deadly eye beams fire up and engulf Real Man. "MOOOOM!!!!" screams Real Man as he closes his eyes.

NuFaG2 and Real Man appear in Real Mom's basement. Eric opens his eyes in disbelief. "NUFAG2 IS A PUSSY!!! REAL MAN LIVES!!!' shouts Real Man. "Don't be an idiot Eric, there is no NuFaG2. Just plain old NuFaGtu.." I say taking off a mask. "It was the only way I could think of to show you your grim future if you don't change. I mean, do you really think Josh is stupid enough to build ANOTHER killer robot? Wait, don't answer that... The point is that you still have a lot going against you to begin with, so you can hardly afford to add to the problem. But there is hope. That took some balls taking on "NuFaG2" back there by yourself. You even managed to talk in the first person for a second there! It's not much, but it's progress... It shows me that you actually learned something. Good luck Eric, you're going to need it. Some of the other Watchers aren't nearly as forgiving as I am. Farewell." I say as I leave Real Mom's house.

Eric stands alone in the basement, trying to understand everything that happened. "REAL MAN HAS LEARNED SOMETHING ALRIGHT!!! REAL MAN LEARNED THAT NUFAGTU IS AN EVEN BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN NFG MIKE!!! SO SAYS REAL MAN!!!"