TEAM Vs. Griswold's Nut-Busters

TEAM is (Red Sun) Superman, Sif and The Warriors Three, Zombie Ultron, Thorion the Celestial, The Combaticons, Long Haul, Voltron Red Lion, Gladiator Voltron, Yareal Poof, Melkor, Cock Sneak Goomba #10.

Griswold's Nut-Busters are Gambit (w/ Magnoguard Staff), Slym and Red Dayspring, Pepper Potts (w/ Rescue Armor), Jarvis, Fizzle, Pipes, Zimm, Capt. Wacky, Predator X #1-5, Matrix Agents #1 & 2, Velociraptor #8-12.


The Mighty Joshatu and The Neon Master Pogo work through the halls of The Great Watcher Tower in the sanctity of the Watcher Homeworld of Helosium. The Neon Master begins the conversation with: “So it looks like we have three matches to watch this week, huh”? “Correct” responds Joshatu the Great. Pogo then asks: “So, I suppose that means that I will only watch one of them, and that you'll watch the other two”? “Naturally” Joshatu the Admirable says in reply.

The conversation continues:

{Pogo}: Well, I was thinking that maybe we could watch the match together, ya know that way we could hang out and well maybe get to know each other a little better.

{Joshatu the Amazing}: That sounds like the worst idea ever.

{Pogo}: C'mon, can't we at least go catch a Tiger game or something and talk about it... My treat. We could even use Fizzatu's T-Rons-Porter 3000 to go catch a game from earth's past or something cool like that. I already cleared it with the Fizzinator before I came down here. I mean I already had to give him a box of .45 ACPs and a year supply of Snus just for him to let me use it for the weekend.

{Joshatu the Annoyed}: I think I'm busy.

{Pogo}: C'mon bud, you heard me say my treat right??

{Joshatu the Cheap}: Okay, fine.


-July 26, 1928...

Welcome, welcome, welcome sports fans to Briggs Stadium, where our own Detroit Tigers are going to take on the famous Yankees from the city of New York.

{Joshatu the Whiny}: Ya know, announcers back in the day were really pretty lame.

{Pogo}: Yeah, not that it matters, I mean I don't really even know who that guy was talking to, other than that dude who was buying peanuts from him.

{Pogo... again}: Dude.... This is gonna be great. We just get to sit back and watch the Tigers kick some butt while we drink .25 cent beers and eat .10 cent hot dogs. God I love the Roaring 20's.

(Joshatu the Condescending Prick}: Yeah, roaring. I just heard some poor bastard tell his son that his life was going to be great because him and his generation made the world safe. Evidently, he already fought the war to end all wars. Then he told the guy next to him to “calm down, Herbert Hoover is way up in the polls and he is an economic wizard... A WIZARD I TELL YOU!! Let's not bother to look up if that kid lives through D-Day, I honestly don't want to know”.

{Pogo}: But none of that matters to us gnarly watchers, right brah. We can just sit back and enjoy the game...

9 Innings later...

{Joshatu the Snide}: Wow, Pogo. You could have taken us anywhere in human history and you deliver us to a 12-1 Tiger loss to The Yankees?? I think my favorite part was seeing Bob Meusel's third Triple-double as a Yankee, The Pinky Hargrove home run was fun too.

{Pogo}: Yeah, I guess I could been like a Jif Mom and been a little choosier huh?? I just hit random on the Ol' Ronco Machine and it brought us here.

{Joshatu the Annoyed}: You're an idiot.

{Pogo}: Hey, at least we got to see a game at the Old Stadium, right??

{Joshatu the Sanctimonious}: I've been to the “Old Stadium” about a hundred times Peon Master-Bater. But I must say as a life long Tiger fan I have always been dying to see a Vic Sorrell loss. And Waite Hoyt sure put on a pitching clinic for The Yanks today... I'm pretty sure you could have hit some of those pitches... Well, I take that back. At least I could of anyway.

-The Neon Master than bumps into some guy on the street in a trench coat; which brushes back the clothes covering his face to reveal that it is actually Red Sun Superman.

Pogo begins screaming like a girl...

{Pogo}: IT'S A RED. IT'S A RED!! SOMEBODY CALL THE F.B.I.!!, CALL THE ARMY!!, CALL JOE McCARTHY!!

{Joshatu the Scholarly}: Hey Genius... The Red Scare hasn't even happened yet. Nobody knows what you are talking about. Russia is still our ally in the 20's. So uh, try and talk in terms people will understand.

{Pogo}: Oh, my bad. “YO, SUP. DUDES HOMEBOY IS 5-0. SOMEBODY CAP DIS FOOL”!!

{Joshatu the Streetwise}: This is Detroit in the 1920's you moron nobody talks like that yet. And beside Red Sun Superman being here means that this match must be starting soon, so let's take to the air and start watching...

{Pogo}: Dang... It looks like both these squads are mounting up quick. And what the eff is goin on over there??

{Joshatu the Terrific}: It looks like TEAM isn't wasting any time. The Combaticons are are already merging to form Bruticus while Long Haul provides them some cover; and it looks like The Red Lion from The Voltron of The Far Universe is doing the same for Vehicle Voltron; which could take a little while.

{Pogo}: Yeah, I don't know about all that. The Lion Voltron is the shizz, that vehicle one seems kinda hit.

{Joshatu the Turrific (that's the Charles Barkley version)}: It is not your place to judge Neon Master. Actually The Vehicle version is significantly larger; and you must respect the play choice of such in a city match.

{Pogo}: Check that out dawg!! You gotta respect The Nut-Busters gumption they are coming right at em!! And look at the way they are utilizing their Transformers with Pepper Potts leading the charge in her armor. I mean, they got Slym and Red hanging off of the side of Fizzle with Capt. Wacky and Jarvis chillin inside Pipes. That is a pretty commanding presence.

{Joshatu the Agreeable}: I concur, Pogo.

{Pogo}: Oh Shee-it. Those Raptors are goin nuts on that Red Voltron Lion

{Joshatu the Ecologist}: For certain Pogo. It appears that the velociraptors cannot tell that The Red Lion is made of metal and not flesh. Curious that they would still seek to destroy the most animalistic creature amongst TEAM. It seems as though The 5 Predator Xs are coming to lend a hand as well. Hmm, it seems that the attack seems to have worked. The Red Lion is no longer functioning, even though it did take out three of the raptors as well as three of the predator Xs.

{Pogo}: And check that out. Those two Matrix Agents are in a “Becks Style” Pitched Battle with Yareal Poof. The Poofster just straight up blocked all of their bullets with his lightsaber and then they went into the kung fu crap. DANG!! Look at how Poof switches his saber into all four of his arms while he fights. OH!! Down goes Agent #1; but Agent #2 got some quick vengence. The Poofinater is down with a wicked hand chop to the neck. And The Combaticons in the form of.... Uh, what did you say his name was again??

{Joshatu the Omnipotent}: Bruticus.

{Pogo}: Yeah, Bruticus just BRUTILIZED Pipes. Capt. Wacky barely got out in time. I guess Jarvis catching a ride with him wasn't such a good idea after all. Oh, dang and Capt. Wacky's Wacky Ray isn't doing crap against that combiner-dude.

{Joshatu the All-Knowing (yeah, I know that is the same thing as Omnipotent... I'm running out of adjectives)}: They are known as Decepticon Gestalts, not combiner-dudes. I would appreciate the use of proper terms while in my presence Pogo.

{Pogo} OH, here we go. Zimm is gonna try and stand toe to toe with some Asgardians. BOOM!! He just straight up jacked Volstagg while, Sif just sat and watched. It looks like Thorion the Celestial is going to stand for that though. Zimm is down for the count now!! At least I would think so after taking that hammer to his head. Capt. Wacky just shot The Cock Sneak Goomba with his Wacky Ray. I didn't think those dudes could get any wackier. It looks like the wacky overload may have killed him. Melkor is over there cleaning up what is left of the Predator X contingent and of the raptors. That dude looks scary as eff, huh Joshatu the Wicked Bad A**??

{Joshatu the Wicked Bad A**}: Correct Pogo. Melkor contains within him an intense evil that is even beyond our understanding.

{Pogo}: Dang dude. Red Dayspring just went all Phoenix Force on Fandral and Hogun. But I think she pissed off Sif. WHAT!! OH Crap, I didn't think I was gonna see Jean Grey, I mean Red Dayspring get curb-stomped by an Asgardian chick when I woke up this morning. And speaking of pissed did you just see Slym unleash that wicked amount of eye blast on Sif... CHICK IS DOWN YO!!

{Joshatu the Noble}: Of course I noticed it Neon Master. It is my job to witness all.

{Pogo}: Slym just unleashed that S&^t on Bruticus too. Straight blew him apart. Looks like only Swindle and Blast-Off are still alive. And Agent #2 jumped into the middle of Long Haul and totally short-circuited his Cybertronian A**. Looks like Zombie Ultron didn't like that though. He just absorbed the agents software and took him out. Pepper Potts then flew in and wasted Ultron with what looked like weaponry specifically designed to take him out... Prolly was. Gambit is jumping in to lead what is left of The Nut-Busters; but his powers are no match for Melkor. His staff and playing cards aren't even denting that armor. And Red Sun Superman just swooped in and took out Slym Dayspring and Pepper Potts by smashing them into each other. And now, The Nut-Busters are really in trouble because Vehicle Voltron is finally ready for battle.

{Joshatu the Finalizer}: Good observations Pogo. It looks like Fizzle has transformed back into his dune buggy form and that Gambit and Capt. Wacky are jumping in. They have signaled the retreat. I do believe we can call this match.

{Pogo}: Wow dude. That was a ton of fun. Totally co-oping that match with you rocked brah.

{Joshatu the Awesome}: I agree Pogo. You did great.

{Pogo}: Really??

{Joshatu the Really Awesome}: Yes, all of the watchers do a great job. We don't get the benefit of choosing the teams, we just simply have to call it like we see it. We all have our methods, we all have our great matches and our not-so great matches; but we all work hard. And that is what matters. We don't all have to be arrogant jerks like me, we just need to love to tell a story, and tell it the way we see it. The End...