Transfoamers vs. Tiajuana Taco Benderz: Part 1

Season 6: Week 7

NuFaGtu and Real Man stand where the match should be taking place. The Watcher is typing away at a multicolored tablet. It makes adorable noises as NuFaGtu bangs it with his hand. "START THE MATCH!!!" chants Real Man repeatedly. "Shut up Eric, I'm trying. But since I've never watched The Transfoamers before, Ziggy says I can't take you there. It's outside of my Watcher timeline. "FIRE NUFAGTU!!! NO CONFIDENCE!!! SO SAYS REAL MAN!!!" "Quiet Eric, let me think. Ok, I need help... Krisatu!!! No.. he is busy with his new baby... Chrisatu!!! No... surely the handsomest of all Watchers will be preening at the salon all day... Joshatu!!! Nah, I think he's already doing 6 matches this week... Um... Wait!!! I got it!" I dial a number on my cell phone. "Hello? Hey man, it's me NuFaGtu. I'm having a little trouble this week and need your help. Yes.. I know that you don't do this anymore, but you get to teach Real Man a lesson! ... Not enough? Okay... um... I have 17 dollars... and this wristwatch. It's a nice watch... Really? Sweet!!! You're a life saver!!! Thanks!!!" I say hanging up the phone. "Ok Eric, sit down and shut up! We're in for a real treat! This guy's an all timer!!! Witness the true horror of The Transfoamers vs. The Tiajuana Taco Benderz!!!"

The Past: Detroit 1928

Jules- "I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please continue, you were saying something about best intentions."

I look upon the teams which will do battle ìn This Season 6, Week 7 located in Detroit 1928. They are as follows

The Transfoamers are: Dr. No, Odd Job, Marcellus Wallace, Vincent Vega, and Jules

The Tiajuana Taco Benderz are: Daredevil w/ mithril vest and green lightsaber, Arachne,, Terminator #38, and Predator #50.

Let the battle begin

Fisher Building. . .

Jules and Vincent Vega walk through the newly constructed Fisher Building. The two marvel at the ornate marble columns and finely polished wood flooring of the structures interior.

Jules: Vincent! We happy?

Vega: Yeah, we happy.

The two men notice a series of web-like strands sprawled across the stage. Arachne is sitting upon the psionic filaments.

Arachne: Hello boys. [Looks to Jules] I'm sorry; I didn't get your name. I got yours, Vincent, right? But I didn't get yours...
Jules: My name's Pitt. And youre a$$ ain't talkin' your way out of this sh@t.
Jules fires his gun at Arachne, but she utilizes her agility to avoid the barrage of bullets. Her laughter is heard throughout the rafters. As the two men focus on her voice, a clacking noise is heard behind them from the balcony. Predator #50 materializes from thin air. While keeping their senses open for Arachne, the men fire at the alien. The duo only manages to strike the beasts leg. The alien stumbles, but quickly rises with its shoulder canon ready to fire. As the weapon is about to blaze, a bowler hat is seen tearing through Predator #50s immense head. Predator #50s body follows its head to the ground below. Oddjob looks over the sconce and nods his head for his teams recognition.

Jules: Thanks!

Oddjob stares at Jules.

Jules (dismayed at no words coming from Oddjobs mouth): English motherf#cker, do you speak it?

As Oddjob opens his mouth, his body is riddled by a tommy guns bullets. Oddjob has been killed by a well-clad gangster. Jules and Vega fire upon the gangster. The man is ripped apart, showing his metal frame inside the bowels of his flesh. Terminator #38 jumps off the balcony and faces Wallaces men. Before the two can reload, they are struck from behind. Both men black out.

In the basement of the theater, the two men awaken to see Wallace with a red ball gripped between his teeth. Daredevil and Arachne stand before the men. Arachne removes the ball from Wallaces mouth.

Wallace: They made me do unspeakable things!

Jules: Like what?

Wallace: Foot massages. . . eating. . .

Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a b#$ch out, and givin' a b#$ch a foot massage ain't even the same f%@kin' thing!

The three scan their situation. Besides the two superheroes in the center of the room, the Terminator stands at the door. The Terminator suddenly begins to smoke and then explodes. The shrapnel slices through both Arachne and Daredevil, while also grazing the three Pulp Fiction antiheroes. Dr. No makes his entrance. While they five attempt to orient themselves, Vega questions Dr. No.

Vega: How?

Dr. No: The successful criminal brain is always superior. It has to be!

Dr. No quickly releases the prisoners, never truly revealing his secret of how he destroyed the Terminator. As Bonds nemesis back is turned, Daredevil shakes the cloudiness from his head and throws his green lightsaber across the room. It strikes Dr. No is the back. The evil genius falls to the ground. As blood trickles from his mouth, he whispers his last words.

Dr. No: Benders. . . Transfoamers. . . just teams in the FFL. . . each as stupid as the other.

Arachne quickly uses her psionic webs to wrap around the killer duos necks and the ropes carry the two to the rafters. The two begin to kick and struggle against the tightening of the ropes.

Jules: I feel the touch of G-d again.

Vega: F@#k you. . .

The two men die. Wallace looks to them as Daredevil sets upon Wallace and drives his lightsaber through his gut. Wallace crumples to the ground.

Wallace: Hey Red. . . Know what I said to your dad.

Daredevil cocks his head, waiting for an answer.

Wallace: In the fifth, your ass goes down. . . and the b#$ch did. . . the b#Sch did.

Wallace dies.

Arachne and Daredevil stare at each other; Daredevil reflecting upon the haunting words of Wallace before he died.

THE TIAJUANNA TACO BENDERZ ARE VICTORIOUS(FOR NOW)!!!!!!!!!!!
Benderz: Daredevil and Arachne survive
Transfoamers: All Dead

"Ooooo, tough break Eric, I could've sworn that the Foamers would get over!!! Hopefully that name change you made helps overcome the years of losing. Oh! That means I'm up! Sit tight and DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!