Griswold's Nut-Busters Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

Wednesday. A gloomy, humid evening in November. Diaphanous swirls of mist snaked their way around the wrought iron gates surrounding the city’s institution for the criminally insane. Something was afoot on the grounds of Arkham Asylum…something in a beautifully skin tight brown Henley shirt.
“Tooooo-night, out on the street out in the moonlight, and dammit this feels toooooo right……it’s just like déjà vu…..Fuck me, I love Nickelback!” Dexter Morgan quietly sang along with his favorite crooner Chad Kroeger as he went about his evening plans. As he tightened his grip on the bag containing his plethora of knives and plastic wrap, he noticed that his mobile was ringing. As he glanced at the screen, he rolled his eyes in annoyance. Nightcrawler. Interrupting one of his kills AGAIN. Dexter ignored the voice of his father spewing his usual unsolicited sanctimonious advice, and pushed “ignore” on the touch screen of his phone. Not a minute later, it rang again.
Dexter sighed and answered the phone. “Morgan.”
Nightcrawler sounded harried. “It’s a mess at Arkham Asylum-can't even tell what went down in that room. I'm lead detective on this one. We need a blood guy. You gotta get over there.”
I’m already here, Dexter thought in his inner dialogue voice that vaguely resembled that of a phone sex operator, then muttered gruffly, “Ok, I can head over there now. See you soon.” Dexter hung up the phone and had a temper tantrum, stomping his feet as hard as he could into the ground and stabbing a hole into his styrofoam coffee cup with his biggest knife. “Every. Fucking. Time.”
Earlier that day…..

Batgirl absentmindedly pulled the hair off the knuckles on her left hand. Her trichotillomania was really getting out of control again. “Jean Claude Van Dammit!!!” She spat as she stood outside Megaphone World, nearly blinded by the enormous neon sign proclaiming the name of the wrong damn store. She had been hiking for 17 hours in the wrong direction, on her way to Megaphone Emporium. Why in hell was she even going to the megaphone store in the first place? Had she even been patrolling Gotham City like she was supposed to? She couldn’t recall now, but she had definitely been hitting the wood grain alcohol pretty hard lately, so this wasn’t her first memory gap. “Oh well, I’m just having one of those days I guess.” Feeling exhausted from the long walk, she fished around in her purse for her therapist’s business card so she could call him over at his new office at Arkham Asylum. She got on the horn with his secretary and got an appointment for group therapy an hour later, then called her sponsor for a ride.
20 minutes later, Ewok #22 screeched to a halt in front of her on his Segway and motioned for her to climb on. They sped off for Arkham Asylum, stopping to pick up the other members of the support group along the way. Jawa #2 was face down on the lawn in front of his camper, out cold after a 5 day bender full of boozing, gambling, and hookers. Ewok and Batgirl scraped him off the ground and strapped him to the Segway with a couple of jumper cables and went to pick up Marine #62-65. When they arrived at their apartment, it was obvious that they were having a kleptomania flare-up, as there were piles and piles of stolen cheese of every variety in the living room. Batgirl nodded sympathetically as they hung their heads in shame and wordlessly followed her outside to meet the others.
Once at the asylum, the group was shown to the first meeting room, and everyone sat down in the chairs provided. Unfortunately, there had been a mix up with the meeting rooms, and in walked the members of a support group for those with explosive rage. Talon, Teneb Kel, Maggot, Exal Kresh, Annoying Orange and Storm Trooper #2 could be very territorial and in thinking that their room was being taken over, they began angrily shoving the others out their chairs. Annoying Orange snapped at people with his obscenely large, horsey teeth, managing to get Ewok #22 in the jugular. Seeing her sponsor taken out, Batgirl flew into a drunken rage of her own. She pulled some battarangs out of her utility belt and flung them at Annoying Orange and Maggot, slicing open their carotids and spattering blood around the room. Batwing was screaming obscenities and throwing chairs around the room, when one of the chairs connected with Jawa #2’s head, fatally wounding him. Batgirl rushed Batwing just as Storm Trooper #2 and Exal Kresh were furiously beating Marine #62-65. Batgirl put up a good fight, but was just too tanked to be able to fight properly. She slipped in one of the coagulating splashes of blood on the floor and fell head first on one of the broken chairs, crushing her skull like it was nothing more than a cantaloupe.