s6w9- Kennelz vs Team SP

Team Sleeping Pussy are: Vampire Batman, The Lizard and Bubastis

Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are: Kingdome Come Batman, Green Lantern Ryan Poteracki, and C.M. Punk w/ flamethrower

The blood seems to be pooling around his feet. He can't even remember being hit by anything. C.M. Punk, feels an unfamiliar feeling. Fear. Panic. He searches desperately for his teammates, but can't see them. All he can hear, aside from the pounding of his own heartbeat is the words.

"Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: All dead. TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY IS VICTORIOUS!!"

 Punk can't believe his ears. His official debut in the FFL ends like this? He can hear the inevitable catcalls and jeers. More of the CuM Punk jokes. But, he doesn't feel dead. Surely this is a mistake. It's gotta be.

"Enough." says a voice, and Punk feels a blast of odd smelling air on his face. His vision clears, and he sees his teammates in front of him.

"And that's what Scarecrow's fear toxin can do to you" says Kingdome Come Batman "Remember, the antidote is in the third capsule back from your right side."

"Yeah. Yeah." stammers Punk, still a bit shaken "Third from the back. Got it"

The Kennelz continue through Arkham, and pass the main holding area. Green Lantern Ryan continues to converse with his teammates

"It's a wrap, ya know? Joker. Harley Quinn and the Scarecrow? In Arkham. I don't know why the Grindhouse would even bother showing up. I'm gonna crush them, and then it's on to the PlayOffs where I'll crush them again. I gotta tell you, I'm ready for that Universe Bowl Trophy to come back home to the Horsemen."

KC Batman begins to question on why a member of the Kennelz would want to see the Horsemen win the Universe Bowl, when he hears a noise. "Hold it." he growls, and his hand instinctively goes to his utility belt. Punk shakily aims his flamethrower and takes a breath, to try and steady his nerves. The fear toxin is dissipating, but not out of his system yet.

"Hey Harley!" says Ryan,  as he passes the cell of Harley Quinn "Execute maneuver 34D!"

Harley giggles "Whateva you say, Mistah P" Harley then exposes her breasts and presses them to the glass, much to the delight of Ryan.

"Haha. Awesome." he says "See guys! I friggin run this place! My players do whatever I say, when I say it! We got this in the bag! Nothing can sto-"

There's suddenly a roar, and Ryan is knocked to the floor. Bubastis has managed to take a pretty decent sized chunk out of Ryan's shoulder, but nothing fatal. Bubastis circles the wounded lantern and prepares another attack. Before that strike can come, KCBats throws a few smoke pellet, and blinds the beast. KCBats switches to nightvision and quickly finishes off the creature.

"S**t! That F**KING HURT!" yells Ryan, as he conjures up to very comely, buxom, slutty nurses to bandage his shoulder. Ryan continues to seethe. "F**k this. I don't have the patience for this bulls**t" he says. The slutty nurses disappear, as Ryan wills a giant crowbar to smash open the cell of Harley, and then the cell of the Joker.

"Ok, guys. Now here's the thing-" he begins.

Before he can say another word, the Joker shanks Ryan right in the neck.

"You're a lot of things, but your not MY owner!" he laughs "And NO ONE tells the Joker what to do. Come on Harls. Let's go on a duck hunt." and the two take off.

KC Batman finds himself conflicted. His natural instinct is to chase down the Clown Prince of Crime, but he knows there's more pressing matters. The decision actually gets made for him, as the scent of freshly spilled blood has attracted Vampire Batman. The smell of blood has whipped him into a frenzy and he explodes on the scene. His vampire augmented speed and strength are no match for the elderly, armored version of himself. Before KC Batman can get his holy water, his throat is torn open.

The blood begins to pool around CM Punk's feet. An eerie vision of what he saw under the influence of the Scarecrow's fear gas. Punk grits his teeth and says one thing.

"No."

He presses the trigger of his flamethrower, and sets Vampire Batman scurrying. There's a roar behind him. Punk whirls, the flamethrower still belching flames. The Lizard finds himself set ablaze. He roars at Punk and scurries off to extinguish himself.

"Flames won't do much to stop me" growls Vampire Batman  he screams and rushes at Punk. He grabs ahold of him, and immediatley recoils in pain. He reaches for Punk again, but is unable to touch him.

"You must not be awar of who I am, or what my holy crusade is. Allow me to introduce myself" smirks the Staright Edge Superstar "I'm the Second City Saint. The Straight Edge savior of the masses.  I AM THE BEST IN THE WORLD! The man who will deliver you from the sins of drugs, tobacco and alcohol. My pure blood cannot be touched by a lesser, weaker being such as yourself"  Punk grabs his fallen teammates utility belt, and puts it on. He easily finds the holy water, and throws it into the face of the recoiling vampire Batman. The ringed hand of the deceased green lantern Ryan begins to twitch

"I vowed that I would never smoke" mocks Punk as the skin of vampire Batman begins to bubble and smoke "But I guess you aren't strong enough to make that vow!" Punk grabs a batarang and plunges it into the heart of vampire Batman. This act has washed away any lingering doubt, and Punk remembers exactly what he does best. Piss people off. He locks into his "Straight Edge Jesus" persona and begins to cut a promo. "CURTIS CONNORS! HEAR MY WORDS!!! PUT YOUR HAND IN THE AIR AND FEEL ME FLOW THROUGH YOUR VEINS, LIKE YOUR POISONOUS LIZARD SERUM!!! ALLOW THE POWER OF STRAIGHT EDGE TO HEAL YOU!!! I AM THE ROLE MODEL THAT YOU NEED! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A WEAK, COLDBLOODED MONSTER!! YOU CAN BE STRONG LIKE ME!!!"

The Lizard has heard enough. Between the humiliation of  being set ablaze and Punk's incendiary words, whatever control Curt Connors had over the animalistic nature of the Lizard is totally gone. The beast lunges forward, but is stopped midair. The Lizard thrashes and roars, unable to move. If he was able to process what has transpired, he would see that the green lantern ring that once belonged to Ryan Poteracki, now is on the finger of C.M. Punk. The reason Connors can't move is  Punk has called upon the power of will to create a construct. Punk has crucified  the Lizard to a glowing green construct. The symbol of the straight edge movement, an X which means do not serve me, incapacitates the monster.

"Poor, monster" gloats Punk as he pulls a cartridge from his newly acquired utility belt "See this? This is the antidote to ManBat serum, but I'd bet that it's work on your Lizard serum" The Lizard roars at Punk, but Punk isn't fazed. "See, I'd give it to you, but I'm not a doctor. I don't have the right to distribute narcotics, so by giving this to you- I'd be nothing more than a drug dealer. The true scum of the earth. Disgusting" Punk then smashes the vial on the floor. He points the nozzle at the flamethrower at the Lizard and continues "Just remember one thing. You took all this serum and you still failed. STRAIGHT EDGE MEANS I AM BETTER THAN YOU!!!"

The Lizard screams out, as Punk pulls the trigger and the Lizard is once again lit ablaze. Only this time, he's unable to go anywhere. As the Lizard burns, Punk flies out of Arkham and once again yells to the sky

"BEST IN THE WORLD!!!!"