UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXVIII: TITAN TRASH TALKING

            “You have been a thorn on the side of this team for far too long now,” says BL Thanos.

            Eradicator uses his computer-enhanced mind to compute and process information at incredible speed to determine what he must do to best his adversary.   He decides that he must whip Thanos into a frenzy.  If the alien cannot think properly while in this fight, it will open several opportunities for Eradicator to win this battle. If thinking accurately, Thanos’ superior intellect will disallow any upper hand that Eradicator may have in the skirmish.

            “Just doing my job, prune face,” answers Eradicator.

            BL Thanos grumbles in response.

            “Seems like I know now why you are called the Mad Titan,” quips Eradicator.

            Thanos bellows.  The alien has had enough of the adolescent insults and projects a vast amount of cosmic energy at Eradicator.  The Kryptonian absorbs the brunt of the blast, but the pressure still throws him across the sky and through a large city structure. 

            “A moniker I claim as a badge of honor,” states BL Thanos. 

            Thanos rushes over to Eradicator and utilizes his skills as a master in hand-to-hand combat.  Eradicator blocks several of the Titanian Eternal’s strikes, but he is not able to deflect all.  A wounded Eradicator hobbles away, but shakes off the damage and readies himself for battle.

            “I am over two hundred thousand years old, my Accutane-infested adversary.  As I have survived all these years, I will also reign triumphant today.  I have already proven my worth several times in this match and will continue to do so again.”

            Eradicator swoops through the sky and grabs Thanos in a bear hug.  Due to the grip, Thanos is unable to project any cosmic blasts.  On the other hand, Eradicator uses the powers coded from the genetic template of Superman and uses his heat vision to sear the mutant’s face and blind him.  Eradicator throws a hobbled Thanos onto the ground where the beast takes out close to a mile of concrete and asphalt.    The two continue to grapple in various ways, laying devastation throughout the entire town.

            “One blind Titan; One blind Titan; See how he whimpers; See how he whimpers. . .” chides Eradicator.

            Although unable to see, an enraged Thanos decides to use both the powers of his ring and cosmic abilities to gain the upper hand.  Before Eradicator is able to complete his self-revised children’s poem, Thanos actually manages to bat Eradicator through several towers with a slap of his ring’s projectiles and blasts of cosmic energy.  Eradicator lands on his knees and jettisons back toward Thanos.  Eradicator decides to quash any ability of Thanos to gain back his senses and uses his powers to retrieve Kryptonian technology through both space and time. 

            “I believe one of your own teammates coined this phrase – yipee ki yay motherf#cker.”

            The weapon Eradicator acquired blasts Thanos.  Thanos screams as he is ripped apart; the Mad Titan is killed.  Eradicator smiles and computes that if he continues to lay waste to the Horsemen, he may be looked upon as the most valuable player of the Universe Bowl.  It would be an honor to sustain him through next year’s matches.