“This is the story of a champion,
Rounders in the mob and they pop the guns;
Stand up, stand up! Here he comes.
Tell me what it takes to be number one?
Tell me what it takes to be number one?”
-Kanye West, “Champion”
Rounders in the mob and they pop the guns;
Stand up, stand up! Here he comes.
Tell me what it takes to be number one?
Tell me what it takes to be number one?”
-Kanye West, “Champion”
I look upon the teams which will play hockey
in this Season 9, Week 1 Match located at Consol Energy Center. They are as follows:
Griswold’s Nut Busters: Coach Dexter Morgan, Bill Brasky, Amazing Orange, Dark Side Adept Kyle
Houslander, Dark Side Acolyte Zachary Houslander, Kanye West, Marlon Brando,
Jedi Masters #1A-2A, Jedi Knights #34B-36B and Dark Side Marauders #2-8.
The
Abomitrons: Temporal and Spatial Recognition Program implemented.
Nutbusters’ Locker Room. . . The Jedi Masters and Knights are rough housing and verbally sparring with the Dark Side Marauders, including Adept and Acolyte Houslander. Coach Dexter Morgan steps in the middle of the childish nonsense.
Dexter Morgan: Save the play for the ice! I want clean hits. . . causing some blood.
Kanye West: Hits.
Hits. Hits. I’m the guy who throws the fits. Gonna’ plow down all those little sh#ts!
Dexter:
Enough West! Go suckle yourself
until we play!
A petulant West sits down on the bench
in the locker room. Marlon Brando sits
down next to the rap artist.
Brando (mumbles almost
incoherently): You know, Kanye. We need to give them a game they will never
forget. At a time like this, I think of my girl Stella. STELLA!!!!!!!
The locker room comes to a standstill as
Brando’s languished shriek comes to an end.
Bill Brasky: Let’s do this!
The entire Nut Buster locker room shouts
and rushes out of the locker room’s tunnel.
They are met with an explosion of fireworks and confetti. The team reaches the center line of the
rink. They look around and find the ice
empty, but for themselves.
Temporal
and Spatial Recognition Program completed—Abomitrons failed to appear.
Dexter:
Gutless. . .
Posts
10 comments:
Griswold’s Nut Busters: Coach Dexter Morgan, Bill Braskey, Amazing Orange, Dark Side Adept Kyle Houslander, Dark Side Acolyte Zachary Houslander, Kanye West, Marlon Brando, Jedi Masters #1A-2A, Jedi Knights #34B-36B and Dark Side Marauders #2-8 survive.
The Abomitrons: Cannot be located- FORFEIT!!!
GRISWOLD’S NUT BUSTERS are VICTORIOUS!!!
And The Nut Busters officially have the best record in all of Fantasy Fantasy.
And The Nut Busters officially have the best record in all of Fantasy Fantasy.
Fire up the ol' FFL woodchipper!
Is it that hard to send in a team? All you had to do this week was pick 16 random people. It could have just been 16 jedi masters. Everyone has a bunch of those. I realize how difficult this can be but please try to give a fuck.
You know what? I don't know why I bother. The same 8 people are the only ones who will read this. If you don't send in your team, you ain't reading comments.
Good watching Becks! Congrats to the Buster of Nuts!
-Fizz the ornery
This league is is absurd
Yet you're still here. Fuck off.
That hurt, please use lube next time. Why are people always fucking me? Just cause some dude told them to?
That HAD to be Ed.
BustED!
Wait, why doesn`t Kayne West have a larger presence in this league. Like, why has he not been on my team since season 1.
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